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Had the attic always been this cold and musty?
Letting his head bounce against the wooden boards making his walls, Akira let his head loll to the right of him, listening to the summer rain pound hard against his window.
It’s always been like this.
Akira rolled his shoulders, sinking down into his makeshift bed.
Truthfully, he had always imagined moving away from the countryside to the big city, in hopes to fulfill his dreams. Not that he ever had a stable dream. It had changed so many times, he didn’t even know what he wanted anymore.
However, he wasn’t here to fulfill whatever half baked dream he could’ve come up with. He was here on probation.
Akira groaned at that thought again.
Probation. Maybe if I would’ve minded my own business I wouldn’t be here.
Rolling over, he came face to face with his dark and musty room. He had no one to rely on.
His reputation had been ruined before he even stepped foot into Shujin, hearing students murmuring as he walked by, shoulders hunched.
It was unfair how quickly news had spread of him.
Akira had seen the blonde haired girl he sat behind glare daggers as he moved to his seat, scooting her chair closer to her desk.
He wasn’t welcomed anywhere it had seemed.
He had made it to July without anything truly changing. The rumors had died out about a month after his arrival, which he was thankful for, however, it was still a common sight for his peers to steer completely clear of him.
The same had gone for his caretaker. The old man who had reluctantly taken him in kept the same cold demeanor he had back in April.
Akira could tell boss didn’t like him and merely saw him as nothing more than a burden and an extra mouth to feed.
He had seen bosses daughter a few times, watching as the redhead stayed ducked behind the bars counter.
Even she was wary of him, always keeping a keen eye on him, and squeaking away when he looked her way.
And then there was a cat who followed bosses daughter around. Morgana, he had overheard boss calling the tuxedo cat, was a noisy and very in your face cat when he wasn’t following bosses daughter around. Akira had also silently noted that she talked to the cat as though they where having some sort of conversation.
At first, he found it weird, but has managed to just ignore it now.
Akira closed his eyes. This was his normal. Being alone was something he had gotten accustomed to. No one ever stuck around long enough, and those who had only added to his corruption.
And even if it hadn’t and the “corruption” his mother had spoken of was nothing more then mere fear for her only son's safety, it hadn’t mattered. It was as though he was destined to be alone. Forgotten by his own family when he still lived with them, only being noticed when one of his siblings said something or blamed something on him.
Other than that, he just wasn’t important to anyone.
Exhaustion rolled over his body. Focusing on the pounding rain, he let himself drift.
______________
Exhaustion hung heavily in the air. It was around One PM when Akira pulled himself up and out of bed. It had become a fairly routine of his, sleeping in late on the weekends had seeped back into his normal summer routine.
However, what wasn’t normal was how full the cafe was today.
Descending the stairs, Akira had heard commotion come from below. Reaching the bottom, he came face to face with the commotion. A closed cafe harboring a bunch of teenagers, a few even looking familiar.
The commotion from the middle booth died down as the group noticed Akira, varying levels of confusion rising amongst the group.
The first to speak was a brunette, one akira had absolutely sworn he had seen on TV, to bosses daughter, coming out in a hiss.
“I thought you said he’d left earlier.”
Akira watched as the redhead recoiled a bit, eyes glossy behind her frames.
“I said I thought! You should’ve been listening earlier tho! Dad said this morning our guest was gonna be gone all day so we could use the cafe.”
Akira stood, uncomfortable with this situation at hand. He stared for another moment, before rushing into the bathroom.
Boss had told them he was supposed to be gone for the day.
Akira wasn’t sure why, but jealousy briefly flared, hot tears threatening to spill at the mere idea that he wasn’t even supposed to be in the cafe today. It wasn’t fair though. He hadn’t even been informed of what was happening, and if boss had told him, he hadn’t remembered. It still wasn’t fair, because technically this was his temporary home. He shouldn’t be forced out just because a gaggle of teenagers want to have a private get together in a back alley cafe, regardless of bosses relationship with the group of teens.
Akira scrubbed at his face, turning the faucet on to drown out his angry sniffles.
With his business taken care of, Akira left the bathroom making a beeline to the stairs. It didn’t matter.
There wasn’t piss nor shit he could do about the peanut gallery. The only thing he could do was bite back the jealousy and anger making its appearance better known.
Dressing as quickly as he could, he returned, pounding down the stairs, glaring daggers to the silent crew of people.
Getting a better look at the group, he had seen them previously at Shujin.
Sneering at the group, he left.
He wasn’t just angry at the fact he hadn’t remembered the fact a group of kids where going to meet up in private at Leblanc. His anger was also stemming from the fact they hadn’t said anything. Hadn’t invited him to sit down and to talk with him. They all just ignored him. At least the blonde one didn’t scoff at him like she first had the day he transferred.
He gripped his school bag, ducking into one of the residential alleys, more jealous tears forming just at his thoughts.
It was July and he was still the no good delinquent.
Back pressed to the filthy wall, he let himself slide to the grimy alley floor ducking his head into his arms and knees.
He was tired of this. Tired of everything. At this point, he’d rather just suffer through juvenile detention for a year and restart his sophomore year back in his hometown. At least there, he’d have a room to openly sulk in and be alone.
The only thing going for him here was a better school and a better chance of being drowned out in the crowds.
Akira unfolded his arms, straightening his back just enough to let his head fall against the side of the dumpster, and drumming the pads of his fingers against the disgusting asphalt below him.
“I could always just kill myself?” Akira teases his bottom lip with his teeth, dragging his finger across the asphalt.
“It’s not as though anyone will care. I’m sure it’ll relieve mom and dad of any stress, along with boss.”
His vision began to blur, his forefinger beginning to sting as he pushed it further into the asphalt.
“It’s not as though I ever mattered to begin with..”
red began to trail the shapes he drew on the ground, Akiras vision completely blurred through the tears.
Everything stung, and yet he acted as if nothing hurt.
Drawing his hands into fists, he stood, sloppily wiping at his tear soaked face.
It wasn’t worth pushing through each day just to be met with more and more bullshit from his peers and from his guardian.
“It’s better this way. They’ll all be so much happier.” The words tasted bitter in his mouth, his legs working from muscle memory, dreadfully guiding him to the building he merely saw as a prison.
He wasn’t sure exactly how he’d gotten in, but the details weren’t important.
Standing on the roof of Shujin, Akira set his bag down, staring.
The view from the school rooftop was a breath taking one, had it been under normal circumstances.
Climbing over the fence the school had erected back in April, Akira found himself, wobbling ever so slightly, on the edge.
He wasn’t sure what it was, but being in control of something like this felt so euphoric. Felt so freeing.
His grip tightened on the chain link fence, giving a few shaky breaths.
Akira briefly let the thought of “what would his caretaker think when the police would show up to his house, informing him that the kid he was currently taking care of had killed himself.”
Or what his parents would think or say when they heard the news.
He laughed bitterly.
Probably something like ‘ oh, Akira? I’m not shocked’”
Bile churned in his throat, another bitter laugh.
It had been peaceful when Akira let go of the chain link fence, a weak smile forming on his face.
Or so he had hoped. Moments before he registered his body meeting the cold ground beneath him, he heard a shrill scream nearby before his world turned black.