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Akaashi Keiji’s first crisis started out like this.
A very modern, very big new bakery opened two blocks away from Hana no Na, his own bakery, and his customers were showing less and less in the morning and through the day to buy his freshly baked loaves of bread filled with his love and dedication. He’d been there for five years and this was the first time he's ever felt that threatened.
Hana no Na was actually a small building on a corner of a quiet residential neighborhood, in which he established himself and started business with his baking skills. He loved what he did, he was good at it, and it had that nice feeling of "making a dream come true". Akaashi started out all by himself, and due to the locals’ support, he grew popular enough to be able to hire an assistant patissier and enlarge his menu a little bit, including some baked sweets and more tea options. It was a cozy place, some plants strategically decorating the room, with some armchairs and small tables available for those who’d like to drink a cup of tea while smelling the warm fragrance of bread or chatting a bit with the bakery’s handsome owner. He was a bit shy, indeed, but he was very knowledgeable and kind, so everyone in the area liked and supported him.
However, the new business caught his customers’ attention: it had that modern aura that Hana no Na’s coziness couldn’t offer, and they also had an extensive menu full of difficult names for coffee and many types of bread and sweets available. Their second floor was filled with comfortable sofas, armchairs and balconies and people would spend hours there chatting or studying. Even people from close neighborhoods would stop by there in awe of its greatness, and students from the nearby university turned it into a favorite meeting spot.
Akaashi wasn’t all that worried at first, he knew what he had to offer and was aware that new businesses popped up every now and then. He was just a bit unlucky that this time it was a bakery just like his, and so close too. He wasn't that worried, until most of his older customers stopped coming for a few days. Even the old ladies that loved to stop by and chat with him, fighting for his attention, recommending and giving him nice fruit jams for him to eat at his own breakfast, spoiling him like he was a favorite nephew.
Even they stopped coming for one or two days.
It was when Akaashi realized it was that bad.
At that rate, the recently inaugurated bakery would take his precious place, with their cute bread designs and fancy looking pastries. Akaashi thought it was a crime that food would look like that when it first and foremost should taste good. But his argument became baseless once he – disguised wearing a mask, sunglasses, and a hideous cap that perfectly hid his remarkable dark curls – bought one Totoro-shaped choux cream. Although he would certainly have enjoyed it more if he hadn’t had such a guilty feeling for ruining Totoro’s face when he took the first bite, it was indeed delicious.
He was ruined.
He really was about to lose his business to this absurdly square building with its huge glass walls that showcased all their breads and pastries and many workers, so unlike Hana no Na’s smaller windows covered in a friendly bindweed that barely let sunlight in depending on the time of the day. Most of his customers were people from the neighborhood, so they didn’t really need to see what he had baked earlier. He had been putting the same types of bread on their tables for five years now, without as much as changing his recipes or including new items on the menu except for seasonal pastries.
Maybe that was what needed to change.
Akaashi had to innovate.
He might have started this race late, but that didn’t mean the war was lost. He could be ruined already, who knows, but he wouldn’t go down without a fight.
So he opened Pinterest and searched for “cute bread recipe”.
Akaashi Keiji managed to find himself in a second crisis.
When he decided on some new recipes to try, he knew he would need someone else’s opinion on them, both on their looks and taste.
He could’ve asked his assistant, Yukie, to try them out, but he rejected the idea almost instantly. As much as the girl was a great patissier, he doubted she’d ever say anything tasted bad; countless times he witnessed her eating any and every edible thing that was on a plate in front of her, including a greener-than-should-be piece of cheese.
He could have asked one of the nice ladies in the neighborhood, but he thought that news traveled fast through old ladies’ mouths and he didn’t need that kind of exposure and pity right now. He needed someone else who knew what his bread tasted like, who was trustworthy, and that wouldn't be running their mouths about his crisis.
Right. It was exactly that.
That certainly would be enough to explain one Bokuto Koutarou with huge curious golden eyes sitting on a stool next to him, in his bakery’s kitchen.
Bokuto was one of his regular customers, and one that hadn’t abandoned him during those trying times. He wasn’t from the neighborhood properly speaking, but he always jogged around there in the mornings and stopped by to buy bread for his breakfast when Akaashi opened his shop. It became kind of a routine for the both of them, despite Bokuto never staying enough for a cup of tea and more than just small talk. His morning classes at the university didn’t start until a little later, but apparently he was in the volleyball team and had practice very early.
Even though they didn’t talk so much, Bokuto always complimented his bread and gave some nice insights on it, for example, “Today’s bread tasted like fresh herbs, the ones that taste a bit like medicine? But it was delicious, really!”, or “Did you get distracted this morning, Akaashi? The bread was a little toasted but it was crunchy and I like it a lot!”. He didn’t hide when things weren’t as good as they were meant to be, but he had a sweet way of pointing them out. He was always very positive and boosted Akaashi’s mood, which was a great way to start the day.
Therefore, Bokuto Koutarou was very good at giving him nice feedback and certainly would be of great help for this experiment, was what he thought.
It would sound just like the perfect solution for Akaashi’s first crisis if it weren’t for the massive crush the baker nurtured for him. Which consequently made Bokuto in his bakery on a Sunday morning his second pinch.
He wasn’t sure how he gathered courage to ask Bokuto for help. Maybe he was really that desperate. It happened on that Friday’s morning, when Bokuto stopped by like always. Akaashi prepared his order and added a blueberry muffin as service, and as Bokuto excitedly noticed that and thanked him, he invited him over on Sunday to help him with something. If Bokuto was surprised or uncomfortable with his request, he didn’t show, happily agreeing to it and jotting his number in one of Akaashi’s napkins, saying he could text him later the details and he’d definitely come.
What a man, Akaashi thought, feeling lucky that it was his neck and not his cheeks that usually blushed in bright red when he was that embarrassed.
“Ne, Akaashi, what is it that you need my help with again?” Bokuto asked, turning his eyes away from the messy table and looking at the baker. “I got distracted with all these amazing tools you have here and this delicious smell and I forgot about it.”
Akaashi held back a giggle, admired at Bokuto’s bluntness.
“Basically I just need you to try out some samples of new types of bread I am considering including in my menu, Bokuto-san,” he explained, grabbing a slightly wet cloth and wiping the excess of flour on the wooden table. Bokuto nodded slowly watching his movements and then grinned.
“Oh yeah! This is so cool! I feel really honored and I will do my very best! Though there isn’t much I can give my best to, is there? If it’s just eating. But well, I’ll do my best at eating them! I’m sure they’ll taste delicious!” he said with a big smile on his face.
“Hopefully so. The main point of this is how they will turn out in appearance, though. I’ve never done anything like this before.”
“‘Like this’?” Bokuto inclined his head slightly to the side, looking a bit confused. Akaashi adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose with the back of his wrist, feeling just a tiny bit flushed at the cute expression the other one had in his face.
“Yeah. Hm, cute-looking bread, I mean,” he said, realizing Bokuto still wasn’t very much into the details of what had brought him there. That would be Akaashi’s fault, being trapped into his own head and thoughts and not properly expressing them. He admired that Bokuto was still following along even being told so little about what they were doing together that day.
“Ohhh, just like the ones from that bakery from the other block??” Bokuto asked quite innocently, but his words pierced Akaashi’s chest. Bullseye, Bokuto-san. It was amazing how sharp he could be sometimes.
“You… have you also tried their food, Bokuto-san?” he asked, a little disheartened. He felt just a little bit betrayed, but he wouldn’t show.
“Nop,” Bokuto replied, hanging his feet on the air while sitting on the stool like a kid. He sounded a bit absent-minded, while he looked around the place again. “Some people at uni brought them over in class and showed me. The girls were going all 'Kyaaa kyaaa' at it but it was just food, I didn't get it. Anyway, I like your bread better, Akaashi, even if it doesn’t look so cute,” he said, smiling largely. Akaashi’s heart did a backflip. Probably. It felt like it did. “Honestly I’m not sure if I can be brave enough to eat something so cute without hurting its feelings, but I’ll do my best for you today!!” he gave him a thumbs up and Akaashi smiled this time.
Akaashi was so damn ruined. How could Bokuto just be like that? Wasn’t it a crime? Well, he was glad it wasn’t. But his heart was beating non-stop just at hearing those words and seeing his smile, and although he had so much going on in his heart and mind, all he could blurt out was, “I really appreciate it.”
“So, what is your bread going to look like?” Bokuto inquired, side-glancing the oven. When he arrived earlier, Akaashi, out of his dumb anxiety, had already put his first trial to bake, and somehow it seemed like he had planned a surprise for Bokuto.
As if Akaashi had staged it, the timer went off indicating the bread was completely baked. The smell was awesome, ever since some minutes ago, and he was pretty confident. Grabbing his gloves and turning his back to Bokuto, Akaashi answered as he opened the oven’s door.
“Chicks.”
Oh, what a surprise really.
Frozen in place, staring at that hideous monstrosity that seemed to sprout from the pan, Akaashi was at a loss of words. They looked nothing like the cute chicks he had seen on Pinterest: a lot of small buns with a warm, golden crust, with their little beaks and brownish eyes. In fact, Akaashi could barely see where he had previously divided the dough into smaller pieces. When baked, they had again become one.
One big disaster.
Bokuto got curious about his lack of reaction and stood up from the stool, peeking from behind him and letting a short “oh” escape through his lips. It took him a few seconds to be able to say anything else, and Akaashi was actually amazed at him finding anything to say under those circumstances.
“Well, you can still sell them as limited edition bread, I suppose. They can be Halloween chicks!”
“It’s May, Bokuto-san.”
Akaashi didn’t want Bokuto to eat those abominable buns, but the other one insisted he had come all that way to try them out, so it’d be a pity for them to go to waste.
“At least I don’t feel so bad eating their faces,” Bokuto said, smiling positively after blowing a bit of the steam, then taking a bite.
Akaashi had sat on his own stool and hid his face in his hands, trying to think about what could have gone wrong. He had baked many different types of bread for years, it shouldn’t be difficult to get the dough to the right point just because it was a different shape than he was used to. Was he nervous because of Bokuto coming over? Or stressed because of the pressure his competitors put on him?
He let out a deep sigh, thinking about his disappearing customers and wondering if he had failed them all those years. Was that the limit of his creations? Plain-looking bread? With the same taste as always? He hadn’t tried to innovate before, at least not so drastically, and maybe he kinda expected this result. But damn, didn’t it feel frustrating.
“Ne, Akaashi,” Bokuto’s voice took him out of his mental turmoil and he raised his head, blinking a few times. He hadn’t noticed how hard he was pressing his palms on his eyes, and now some stars appeared in his vision. Bokuto was smiling at him, half of a monster-chick bun eaten still being held in his hands. “The taste isn’t bad! They don’t look the best, but it tastes almost like your usual bread!”
“Almost?” Akaashi questioned, raising one of his eyebrows. Bokuto pouted a bit, looking up as if thinking hard about his question.
“There’s something lacking? Something that makes it not taste like usual, but I can’t exactly tell what it is. Sorry,” Bokuto replied, staring at the bread as if those dreadful beak-like pieces could tell him the answer.
Akaashi reached out and mercilessly grabbed half of a gruesome chick’s face, bringing it to his mouth and trying it. He couldn’t tell either what Bokuto could be talking about; in the end it tasted like the recipe was supposed to. It was surprising, really, seeing how they turned out.
“If you got the taste right, it means only half of it needs to be fixed! Shall we try again?” Bokuto asked, still smiling.
Akaashi managed to find strength in him to agree, standing up and reaching for more dough he had let rest while he baked the other. Bokuto was right. It would do him no good to give up after his first try.
Bokuto sat again on the stool, looking at him pouring some flour on the table.
“You know, when volleyball season started this year, I was getting all of my cross shots blocked. It was soooo frustrating!” Bokuto started talking, and Akaashi nodded to indicate he was hearing him. “We lost and I kept thinking what I could have done to avoid that. I thought and thought and thought - it took me a lot of time to find the answer. And you know what it was?”
Akaashi glanced at him while kneading the dough harder, thinking that maybe it was what the other one lacked. Bokuto had a glint in his eyes, and Akaashi nodded again so he could go on, without saying anything else.
“Nothing! There was nothing I could have done, because the match was lost already!” he replied, opening both of his arms. Akaashi stopped moving his hands and looked properly at Bokuto, who now was almost standing up again. "It’s ok to look back at our mistakes and find out what they are, but we can’t change situations that are already in the past. Which means,” and he finally stood up and got closer to Akaashi, who responded by blushing due to the sudden proximity and the brightness of the man’s smile, “that we have to change them now. That’s why we have to always try again after we fail.”
Bokuto concluded putting both of his hands in his hips and puffing out his chest like an owl, probably proud of his words. Akaashi blinked a few times, thinking about what he had said; it was really something to be proud of. It was a simple thought, but it was enough to feel like a push to Akaashi’s back.
He smiled gently.
“You’re right, Bokuto-san. Thank you for supporting me,” he said, and then looked down at his dough. “I was really having some bad thoughts because of that failure. It’s just… I really don’t want to lose this place,” he confessed.
Bokuto patted him on the back, a bit too strongly. “You won’t. We’ve got this!”
Smiling, Akaashi brought a knife to start dividing the dough into the bun’s size, bringing the scale closer too to measure their weight. Bokuto's words still in his head, he couldn't stop thinking about how to fix things to get them right. It was amazing how much support Bokuto gave him just expressing a simple and (quite) obvious resolution.
Bokuto watched his preparation with wide eyes, seeming a little fidgety. Akaashi noticed that and raised one of his eyebrows.
“I’m sorry, Bokuto-san. I’ll have to prepare everything again so it might take a while for you to have anything to taste,” he explained. Bokuto jumped out a bit, looking like a child caught in a mischievous act, and joined the tips of his forefingers.
“Actually… I was wondering if it would be ok for me to try making them too…” he asked, blushing a bit and looking away. “This seems fun.”
“Oh,” Akaashi let out of his lips, surprised. He hadn’t considered Bokuto wanting to join him into the preparation of the dough, and after the request, he noticed how rude that had been. He should’ve invited Bokuto to join from the start instead of just making him sit and watch. “Of course, Bokuto-san. I’m sorry I hadn’t asked you earlier.”
“YAY!” shifting his mood completely, Bokuto came closer to him again with his eyes sparkling in excitement. “So we should just try to use the dough to make beaks and eyes?”
“Basically, yes. But I think maybe we should leave the eyes out,” Akaashi suggested, and noticed the look of horror that spread across Bokuto’s features as he heard those words. Akaashi sighed. “I mean that we should add them later, with melted chocolate piped on with paper cones, Bokuto-san. It’s going to be ok since this dough is for sweet buns.”
“Oh, you scared me for a second, ‘kaashi!” Bokuto touched his own chest in relief. “Just the beaks, then?”
“Yes, please,” Akaashi agreed, taking a look at the messy notes he jotted down while watching some videos. Maybe he missed something when he tried making them for the first time? He was more confident at salty recipes, but if he got even that wrong, maybe the sweet one wouldn’t stand a chance. Sweets were so hard to make, every little detail had to be properly done otherwise it could fail. He went with chicks on both of his trials because they didn’t have ears like bears or bunnies, but for the dough to so disastrously grow much more than it should have, might he have messed up on the ingredients? Did he mess up the sweet one too?
Oh no, he was doing it again. He remembered what Bokuto said, not to focus on things he couldn’t change from the past. Even if the current dough they were working on went wrong, he could still make another one until he got it right. It would be fine.
He glanced at Bokuto’s curved back, watching the man focus on two small buns he was decorating. He was indeed doing a lot more than just beaks, and Akaashi frowned at the sight.
“Those chicks… are a bit weird, Bokuto-san,” he pointed out, hoping not to sound so rude. Bokuto fixed his stance and didn’t seem to take an offense to that, smiling largely again.
“They’re owls!” he announced, proudly. Akaashi got a bit closer to see the details and they were, indeed, owls.
He wished he had hidden his shocked face better, but he didn’t have time for it. How surprising was that Bokuto was actually good at making cute buns? He was definitely not expecting that when he wanted to join the fun.
He couldn’t help feeling a bit jealous.
All his emotions must have shown in his face, which made Bokuto cackle and boast.
“How are they?! Aren’t they looking good, Aghashee?!” he was so excited he couldn’t even pronounce Akaashi’s name properly. The baker couldn’t hold back and laughed a bit at how proud Bokuto seemed of his creations. “Ain’t I the best cute-bun-maker of this whole neighborhood?! Don’t you think it’s amazing?”
“It is, Bokuto-san. You’re really amazing,” Akaashi admitted, then blushed. He just blurted that out because Bokuto was fishing for compliments – but it wasn’t a lie. Bokuto Koutarou was one really amazing being.
For someone who was boasting and insisting so much on getting praised, Bokuto seemed quite abashed. He became quiet and his cheeks burned in a bright red.
Quietly, each of them turned back to their work and focused on finishing the buns. Akaashi put them all together at the pan, but more spaced than the previous ones. Since Bokuto’s owls were a bit more detailed than the chicks, he put them in a different pan, hoping at least they would turn out fine.
“Well, now we wait,” he said. Bokuto gave him thumbs up and sat again at the stool, half of his face covered in flour and his dark blue T-shirt powdered with it as well.
“Do you mind if I use your bathroom, ‘kaashi?” he asked after trying to wipe his face and only making the mess worse.
“Not at all. Next to the sink there are wet wipes that are very good for cleaning flour,” Akaashi suggested, smiling a bit.
Bokuto hurried there and while he cleaned himself up, Akaashi wiped the table, put a nice tablecloth over it and brought some of his usual bread he had baked earlier. It wasn’t so fresh anymore, but it probably tasted better than those failed chicks buns Bokuto had eaten out of kindness. Displaying butter, jam, cream cheese and honey on the table, he had just set the plates down when Bokuto returned.
“Oh!! This smells so good!” he said, approaching quickly the loaf of bread Akaashi was putting on one of the plates for him. “Thank you, Akaashi!”
“I wouldn’t want you to associate me with the taste of those buns earlier,” he said, also sitting down and grabbing a piece himself. Bokuto chuckled and spread jam over his slice.
“I know you better than that, don’t worry,” he replied and took a bite, then closed his eyes, cherishing the flavor. Akaashi thought he was probably exaggerating to make him feel better; his bread couldn’t taste that good. Maybe it was the old lady’s strawberry jam? He bit into his own piece, but found nothing spectacular about it.
“This is it, Akaashi! This is the taste of True Akaashi Bread!” Bokuto exclaimed, making him giggle. What was a ‘True Akaashi Bread’? “It tastes so good I could eat this for the rest of my life!”
Oh, I’d love that, the baker thought, unable to keep his mind quiet while watching a drop of jam on the corner of Bokuto’s mouth. Thank God he didn’t blurt that out.
“I’m glad you enjoy it so much, Bokuto-san. I wonder what makes it a ‘True Akaashi Bread’ though.”
“I wonder too,” Bokuto murmured, staring at the slice of bread the same way he stared at the monster-chick bun earlier. Then, he turned his head to look at Akaashi instead. “Ne, why do you want to change so badly to something that’s not quite your style? Isn’t bread tasty like this good enough?”
Akaashi pondered. He wished it was, but what if it wasn’t? What if he lost his customers and had to go away? He sighed, lowering his food and leaving it on the plate. He adjusted his glasses one more time and peered back at Bokuto.
“I’m just worried. I… I love this place. This life is kind of what I always wanted to do. Just peacefully living day by day, making bread and making people happy with something I’ve made. This place and these people are precious to me, and I’m afraid I’ll lose them,” he confessed, feeling his cheeks heat up. He wasn’t expecting to open up so much, but Bokuto had a sort of aura that made him want to rely on him.
“That’s so nice, Akaashi,” his tone was kind and he smiled fondly. “I’m sure everyone would be delighted to know how much you care about them. And also, I think you shouldn’t worry so much about it. You know,” he added, wiping his mouth with a napkin as he had just finished his slice of bread. Bokuto stood up and dragged his stool by the seat, bringing it closer to Akaashi. “I think what was lacking on the Halloween chick buns was your love and dedication.”
“Eh?” Akaashi mumbled, surprised at Bokuto’s soft voice and words. He didn’t seem to be joking, and probably that was the most serious Akaashi had seen him.
“I’m not saying you didn’t put any effort into making them!” Bokuto hurriedly said, as if trying not to sound offensive. “But I think it was something you created out of your worries and focusing on sales instead of your clients. When you make your breads, early in the morning, you probably put a lot of love thinking about everyone who’ll stop by and buy them through the day. You think about giving them strength, about them having a nice day. I know this because I’ve received it,” he smiled again. “Every morning, it’s after I eat your bread that I think ‘Ok, I can do this!’. That’s the power of a True Akaashi Bread.”
Akaashi couldn’t hide his astonishment hearing all of that. He knew one of Bokuto’s strong points was being straight-up honest, but he wasn’t prepared to how fondly and warmly the man talked about his precious bakery and his creations. He was at a loss of words, and Bokuto was the one who spoke again.
“I think you shouldn’t worry because no one will leave you. This new bakery might be getting attention for now, but everyone will come back. We buy bread here because we love the environment you created and how dedicated you are. Your bread is delicious, of course, but what everyone likes the most here is you, Akaashi. Including me,” Bokuto reassured him.
If Bokuto’s cheeks didn’t become as red as they did, Akaashi might have been able to not take that “like” so seriously, but it was impossible in the end. Both of them become quiet, lowering their stares and seeming to finally notice how close they had been sitting. Akaashi took a deep breath.
“Bokuto-san—“
“You know—“
Both of them stopped after trying to talk at the same time, eyes slightly widened. They waited some seconds, as if trying to decide who’d be given the right to speak first, and Bokuto decided to settle that quickly.
“I’ve said a lot already! What is it, Akaashi?” his voice was a bit loud, probably in order to hide his embarrassment. Akaashi cleared his throat, fidgeting with his fingers that were still a bit dirty with flour.
“I just wanted to thank you, Bokuto-san,” he admitted. “For making time for me today, and helping me out this much. You did even more than I hoped you would. When I hear your words, it’s like everything becomes clear and my worries are washed away. I even feel ashamed of myself for doubting my customers and thinking I’d been abandoned,” he chortled. “I’m really thankful for your support, every day, and today specially.”
“My pleasure, ‘kaashi,” Bokuto grinned. “I got to eat delicious bread and make owl buns so it’s all good! I’m happy I came!” he laughed and Akaashi followed, feeling his chest lighter than it had been the whole week.
“And you were saying…?”
“Ah!” Bokuto stopped laughing and suddenly seemed to look shy. Just as he did earlier when asking to decorate the buns, he lowered his eyes and looked embarrassed for what he was about to say. “Hm, you know, on Tuesday, morning practice was canceled because they’re fixing the court. I was wondering if it would be ok for me to stop by and have tea together…”
“By all means, Bokuto-san. You didn’t even need to ask,” Akaashi agreed, a bit too fast. Bokuto seemed relieved.
“That’s great! I have always wanted to do that and I envy the amount of free time those old ladies have so they can spend it with you! I’m always in a hurry because of practice, so I thought this would finally be a fine opportunity,” he blabbed. “When you invited me over today I was really happy too! I feel like we became closer!”
“It does feel so,” Akaashi complied, a warm feeling sprouting in his chest. Ah, what a great idea was to have invited Bokuto over. All his problems went away with just his company, how amazing was that? “I’ll try to bake you a special bread as thanks for today, too.”
“REALLY? That’s amazing! I’ll have the best True Akaashi Bread made specially for me! Ha!” Bokuto stood up in excitement, raising his arms in the air. Akaashi laughed at him.
Yes, Akaashi would definitely work hard to make him the best bread to their morning meeting. And, hopefully, that would be the first of many more to come.