Work Text:
It was...
one of those days...
when nothing feels quite real enough, Keiji felt,
and thoughts floated around on his mind....
unnateinable,
slippery,
most incomplete...
It was as if waving a hand around would make his reality ripple like an image reflected on a body of water.
((((((((((( puddles, ponds, lakes, rivers or oceans, they would all look the same )))))))))))))
It wasn't that he was just tired after a bad night's sleep. It was also that everything seemed
f a r a w a y
from his g r i p, slidding between his fingers like the water. And it was as his very existence was an abnormal experience, as if he existed a pocket dimension that somehow overlapped with the normal ones but still retained glitches to make it very apparent that he was not actually there.
At university, his classes passed by him in such a flash and he hadn't been able to focus.
Even out thoughts of seemed to his be order.
It was a mcralie he managed to get back home on his own without getting lsot on the way. At least he would've had his phone with him. And if worst came wrost, he would've been able to call.... someone... there... a person to call.... yes?
Keiji gave hs boyfriend a weak smile as he made his way to their room. Koutarou followed, calling out to him and asking what was wrong. Face to face, they were. Keiji knew, in the back of his mind, who exactly he was looking yet, but his features seemed twisted as if they didn’t belong together.
And the question was innocent but it annoyed Keiji down to his very bones that he COULD NOT ANSWER so he snapped, an action he immediately regretted. But before he could even apologize, Koutarou took him by the hand with a soft touch, taking him to the living room. He made it so Keiji would sit on his lap, holding him by the waist to keep him close.
There were a million and different things he could try and say to make Keiji feel better, all of which would fail because his problem didn't need any advice; it didn't need words of affirmation or comfort, it didn't need anything really. But Keiji did. He needed a lot. And what Koutarou managed to give him then was quite enough. All he did was tell him it was okay, that he didn't need to really talk and that Koutarou would be there to hold him if he wanted and for as long as he wanted. So Keiji buried his face in his neck and breathed in.
Nothing changed.
Everything he looked at still looked WRONG and his mind was still h a a a zy y and his thoughts still felt smoOoOoOoOke and he still felt like he was not quite there.
Yet something about not being alone and having the person to help him ground himself was helpful. So, Keiji he clung to Koutarou's shirt as if letting go could leave him physically afloat, flying off into space without guaranteed safety. Things remained as they were until night dragged on and both fell asleep.