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Mark made the preemptive decision to live with a new roommate his sophomore year after breaking up with his last one. Last year, Mark made the mistake of hooking up with his roommate. Mark had finally come out, so to speak. Everyone knew who Mark knew he was trans already, but making it, along with the fact that he’s bi, public, was extremely nerve wracking. Donghyuck had held his hand through it all, and made everything so much easier. He helped so much that the two of them ended up getting over Thanksgiving break - Mark didn’t want to fly home to Canada for only a week when he would be visiting for longer soon after.
And they had worked really well, Mark and Donghyuck. Until they didn’t. As it turns out, they’re incredibly different people with different goals in life. They had broken up by Spring Break, but had to stay roommates. This meant that they had to stay civil with each other. Staying civil with Donghyuck wasn’t an issue, but it did mean that neither of them were allowed to have anyone over.
Mark doesn’t really have much game, so that kinda killed him in the romance department. It sort of stuck and now Mark is focusing much more on his studies than any sort of romance. Or hook-ups. Or literally anything. Mark is a bit touch starved to say the least, but he doesn’t know how to break out of the cycle of being single.
What a wonderful thing to contemplate in the middle of the night, right before midterms. The middle of October is coming too soon in Mark’s opinion, even if he is as prepared as he can be.
One thing that helped Mark this year, at least so far, is his roommate, Dejun. Dejun is like Mark- they're both foreigners, so they bonded pretty easily over feeling a bit like outsiders. That's what got them to start the tradition of doing stuff that reminded them of home every Wednesday. Dejun ordered his favorite Chinese dishes from home and made Mark try all of them, and Mark made Dejun watch a million Hollywood movies. While they are mostly American, and therefore, not Canadian, they reminded Mark of home nonetheless.
Dejun is an absolute angel of a roommate, and Mark really doesn’t want to repeat his mistake with him year. He won't crumble. No matter how cute his smile is, or how caring he is, or how he laughs at all of Mark’s terrible English puns (despite not getting half of them), Mark will not act on his feelings for Dejun. Not at all. He will remain strong and weigh the pros of having a perfect roommate and the cons of making out with Dejun on their couch. (He pointedly ignores the pros of the latter.)
Though with Mark’s level of touch starved, that’s going to be a bit of a challenge, as any form of contact might make him explode. Quite literally. Mark throws his hands up in defeat and lets them clatter onto his bed. This and more on next week’s episode of ‘Mark Questions His Life.’
What is a guy to do? Mark could probably call Jaemin- he would have someone who’s just looking for a night of fun over here at first light, but Mark is looking for something a bit more serious. A part of him would love to just hook up and have that be the end of it, but that wouldn’t be how it goes down.
Mark would have a great night with the guy- then catch feelings. That would ruin any potential friendship- let alone relationship- between the two of them. Plus, Mark doesn’t want to have a hook up in his dorm. At least if Dejun is here, as he is ninety five percent of time. Oh, that’s an unpleasant thought. Now Mark feels like he needs to take a shower for even thinking about hooking up while his roommate is home.
Rolling over, Mark sees that it’s past two, so he might as well shower and try to get a solid six hours before he has to be awake. Mark gets up and stretches before walking over to the bathroom. This dorm has the weirdest set up, with the kitchen and bathroom in the middle and each bedroom on either side. How that even made sense in the developers mind, Mark doesn’t understand.
Right before Mark is about to step foot into the bathroom, he hears something. It sounds like crying? Mark isn’t sure, but his late night shower can wait five minutes while he makes sure that Dejun isn’t dying or something. If there’s a murderer in the dorm, Mark should probably get a weapon of some sort. Mark darts to the kitchen and grabs a spatula before sneaking his way over to Dejun’s room.
Putting his ear to the door, Mark confirms that it’s nothing R rated and Dejun actually sounds like he’s in a lot of pain. Mark swings open the door, waving around his spatula, ready to defend Dejun. But there’s no one there. Dejun is writhing in bed, nearly screaming. He must be having nightmares. Mark rushes to Dejun’s side, somehow not thinking to drop the spatula, and shakes Dejun until his eyes snap open.
Dejun screams, loud enough that Mark is sure the neighbors heard, so he shushes him.
“Dejun, you’re okay,” Mark says in English. The two of them mainly speak English with each other as they both struggle a lot with Korean and Mark doesn’t speak Manderin at all.
“Mark,” Dejun rasps, “What are you doing here?” Mark seems to remember that his hands are on Dejun’s shoulders, so he pulls them off quickly and sticks them behind his back. “Is that a spatula?”
Dejun sits up and Mark clears his throat, unsure if he should lie or not. Luckily for Dejun, Mark can’t think of any good lies at this hour, even though the truth is a bit embarrassing. i“I thought you were being attacked by a serial killer, so I came in here with a spatula, in case I had to defend you,” Mark explains and Dejun just blinks at him.
“There are no serial killers in here.”
“I can see that,” Mark drops the spatula and folds his hands in front of himself. “But you were having severe nightmares, which can’t be fun. So uh, I'm here to offer any help. Tea, bedtime story, anything.”
“It’s okay, I just want to change my sheets,” Dejun says. “Having nightmares makes me gross and sweaty, so I need to shower, but also it's two am.” Mark frowns. Maybe its the guilt he’s still feeling from five minutes ago, but Mark really wants to make it up to Dejun. Even if Dejun doesn’t know what Mark is making up for.
“How about you go take a shower and then I’ll change your sheets,” Mark suggests and Dejun looks like he’s about to protest, but Mark holds up a finger. “Let me do this for you.” They make eye contact for a moment. “Please?”
“Alright, fine, but I'll be back in ten minutes,” Dejun declares, grabbing a pair of fresh pajamas from his drawer before leaving the room. Mark tosses the blanket off Dejun’s bed, along with the two pillows. Off come the sheets and pillow cases. They go into Dejun’s laundry hamper, to be properly dealt with later.
Mark goes into Dejun’s closet and pulls out a fresh set of sheets, putting them on the bed to the best of his ability. He hasn’t mastered hospital corners yet. Disappointing. That’s the only way sheets even stay on the bed for more than, like, two days. Mark fluffs the pillows and places them back on Dejun’s bed, also with fresh pillow cases. The blanket goes on last and Mark has too much fun fluffing it to get it perfect onto Dejun’s bed.
True to his word, ten minutes later, Dejun walks back into his room dressed in new pj’s with wet hair. Mark smiles and presents Dejun his bed. The boy laughs at Mark’s antics.
“Anything else you need?” Mark asks.
“I mean, there is one thing that helps a lot... But I wouldn’t want to ask you for it,” Dejun says and Mark’s mind immediately jumps to something very impure. He owes Dejun a second time for his thoughts.
“Just tell me,” Mark reassures as Dejun climbs back into bed. “I’m a big boy and can handle it. Besides, if it’s out of my comfort zone, I promise I won’t do it. But I have a pretty big comfort zone.”
“Cuddling helps.” That is not what Mark was expecting from Dejun, but he can’t say that he’s disappointed at all. Setting aside any romantic attraction, Dejun does seem like he would be a good cuddler. He’s good at everything, so why wouldn’t he be good at cuddling?
“Alright, scootch over.” Mark climbs in next to Dejun, under the blanket, but not touching him.
“You’re eager,” Dejun mumbles.
“I just wanna help a roomie out! And I thought you were gonna say something weird,” Mark defends.
“Like what?”
“Oh, I don’t know… licking soap? Licking soup cans? Licking toes? Licking anything,” Mark suggests and he's not sure if Dejun wants to smack Mark or laugh. Hopefully the latter. It's much better than him actually smacking Mark and kicking him out of bed.
“Those are all awful,” Dejun responds, almost offended.
“Yes, now how do you like to cuddle? You look like a spooner, but I could totally be wrong,” Mark guesses. Dejun turns over so he’s facing Mark. Mark mimics him.
“I like just to be held. Spooning isn’t intimate enough for me,” Dejun tries to explain. “Basically, you do this.” Dejun turns Mark a bit so he’s facing the ceiling again and the arm closest to Dejun is stretched out across the pillows. Dejun nestles himself under Mark’s arm with his head coming to rest on Mark’s chest, where his heart is beating far too fast for Mark’s taste.
“Oh, I see what you mean now,” Mark breathes out, hoping Dejun doesn't notice the slight shake in his voice..
“Yeah,” Dejun hesitantly wraps his arm around Mark’s waist, effectively locking him in- not like Mark is going to try and escape.
“This is quite nice, I must admit,” Mark mumbles, unable to be quiet. The more he’s quiet, the more likely it is that Dejun can feel his heart beating out of his chest.
“You don’t have to talk, y’know. The goal is to sleep," he pauses, listening, "But with the speed your heart’s going, I can see why you'd want to fill the silence,” Dejun replies. Damn it. Mark can’t will his heart to slow down, so they're stuck like this until it decides to chill out. “Do I make you uncomfortable? Is that why your heart is beating so fast?”
“No no no,” Mark reassures, way louder than he needs to be. He drops the volume and adds, “I just haven’t cuddled with anyone for a long time and I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed it. But I also don’t want to be weird.”
“It’s not weird,” Dejun hums for a moment, “Honestly, you would have to do a lot more to make it weird.”
“Like what?” Mark asks. It never hurts to know what he shouldn’t do, just in case he needs it before he makes some terrible mistake.
“I don’t know, you have to guess.”
“I’m bad at guessing.”
“Sucks for you then.” Mark thinks for a moment and tries to rack his brain for what could make it weird.
“All I can think of is... if I kissed you,” Mark relents.
“That wouldn’t make it weird,” Dejun replies with a small smile.
“Really?”
“I thought it was clear that I liked you.” Well this is... Quite the shock for Mark. “If you don’t like me back pretend I didn’t say anything tomorrow. Just let me get a good night's sleep for once. Please.”
“I like you too. Like a lot. Like can I kiss you right now a lot.” His words come out in a garbled mess, but Dejun gets the point and adjusts himself. Mark sees him looking over him for a moment then he presses their lips together for a moment. No movement, no tongue, nothing other than a simple peck of the lips. But that’s more than enough for Mark.
“Is that good?” Dejun asks quietly.
“More than good.”
“Then can we sleep now?”
“Absolutely.” Mark’s heart is full, and he lets himself relax as he holds Dejun close. Maybe the two of them can work out. Mark can set all of his fears aside for now, and just let himself be close to Dejun. No more intrusive thoughts, at least for tonight. Tonight, Mark is just a boy helping another boy get a good night's sleep.