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"I'm really starting to feel it," Gyro says from his spot on the floor. He, Johnny, Diego and Hot Pants are all at Johnny's place playing games as per the usual for Saturday night. Alcohol is involved of course, like always, and Gyro has sort of stopped processing things like time and space.
Diego and Johnny ignore him, too focused on the T.V to care about his ramblings.
Hot Pants, who doesn’t really care for Gyro’s ramblings or the T.V, is well on her way to being on the stronger end of tipsy herself. Then the idea comes to her. She fiddles around in her bag for her phone, violently enough that it draws the attention of Diego, who's seated beside her on the floor and Gyro, who is nowhere near Hot Pants but just incredibly nosy.
"What'cha got there?" Gyro asks. Johnny is now also looking at Hot Pants. The game of Puyo Puyo Tetris he and Diego have been playing now paused, they all watch as she triumphantly locates her phone.
"Let's play Heads Up ," she says.
Johnny looks at her, and then at the T.V, then at Diego (who is still watching Hot Pants, because when is he not?) then back at Hot Pants.
"Sure." He exits the game not a moment after.
"Johnny, no!" Diego yells. He watches the switch's home screen pop up in horror. "I was setting up the ultimate chain you fucker."
Gyro interjects before Johnny can respond and start a fight, which always happens when he and Diego insult each other, or even just talk really. It's not out of any goodwill or anything, he's just intrigued with Hot Pants' suggestion, and an argument would cause a delay in assuaging his curiosity.
"Johnny would've won anyways." It should be noted that Gyro is shit at fight prevention, and also loves his boyfriend.
Johnny openly smirks while Diego seethes. Hot Pants ignores them both in favor of swiping through her phone for the app, and getting to her feet. The attempt is kind of wobbly (a result of letting Johnny mix her drinks) but she successfully manages it, batting away at Diego's outstretched hands (in case she actually does fall over).
"I'll go first," she says.
"Teams?" Johnny asks.
Hot Pants nods while Diego rolls his eyes.
"Obviously," he says.
"Wait," Gyro is feeling a bit lost, "What's 'Heads Up'?"
Johnny looks at him like he's grown a second head. So does Diego, which makes Gyro frown. Why have they teamed up against him now? This is why he hates Gen Z.
He turns to his fellow Italian millennial comrade for an explanation.
"It's like reverse charades but with clues instead of acting,” Hot Pants explains.
Hot Pants is useless at explaining things Gyro decides. Where does her phone even come into this? She can clearly tell what he's thinking from his face though, and tries again.
"You have to help me find out what the word on the screen is by giving me clues. Don't you know what charades is?"
"No," he says, looking to Johnny for help. He defended him in Puyo after all. Also they've been dating for like a year now. Johnny is all but legally required to defend Gyro's admittedly lacking knowledge of party games.
"I'm on Hot Pant's side with this one."
Traitor.
By Hot Pant's side, Diego is cackling because of course he is. The bastard hunts for opportunities to needle people like a shark when there's blood in the water.
"Where'd you even dig this fossil up Joestar?" he says in between hideous peals of laughter. Gyro doesn't know what Hot Pants sees in him. Hot Pants smiles at Diego's jab, and Gyro questions Diego's taste too. He needs better friends.
"Eat shit Diego," Gyro says, "you fucking suck at Tetris."
"I'm starting the game now," Hot Pants says, interrupting before Diego can fire back. Unlike Gyro, she actually knows how to keep things on track somewhat.
"Gyro just... learn while we play," she says, "I'll even make the starting category easier."
Gyro pouts at her, then at his traitorous boyfriend, who shrugs at him.
"You're smart, you'll get it." Johnny gives him a sarcastic thumbs up. Gyro didn’t think it was possible to make such a positive gesture feel so mocking.
"It's too late to save yourself," Gyro sniffs. Johnny rolls his eyes.
"If we win will you forgive me?" It's really sarcastic as all hell, as Johnny often is with Gyro.
"I hate you." That makes Johnny smile a little bit.
"Ok, we're going with animals." Hot Pants turns to face Diego and sits back down. He straightens up, now hyped up to play.
"Wait, what's the punishment for the losing team?" Johnny asks.
"Can it be drinking? I'm not playing if it involves stripping again." Gyro covers his chest with his arms like some kind of maiden. Diego snorts.
"Drinking's fine," Hot Pants agrees.
Gyro points at her in an accusatory fashion. "You're only saying that because you didn't come here in three sweaters like last time."
"She didn't even need them," Diego scoffs, "you both just suck ass at strip poker."
"Those are big words for someone that ended the night in his undies like we did."
"So what? I can't be proud of my girlfriend?"
"I'M STARTING THE GAME NOW," Hot Pants all but yells, and oh yeah, that's what they were doing.
Hot Pants eyes them all quietly, daring them to delay the game any further with pointless bickering. The three men say nothing, and without further ado the game begins.
"It's pink," Diego says upon seeing the word on the screen.
Hot Pants' slight inebriation has dropped her stoicism a bit, if the way she makes up her face to think is any indication. It's cute, but Diego has a game to win so he tries to stay focused.
"Flamingo?" she guesses.
Diego smiles, nods and she tilts the screen for the next word.
Johnny turns to Gyro.
"Get it now?"
"Yes, Johnny, I'm not an idiot."
Johnny laughs and prods him playfully in the arm. "Could'a fooled me." It's rare for Johnny to smile, laugh, or do any of what he just did really, so Gyro comes to two subsequent conclusions.
- He isn't mad at Johnny anymore. (Not that he ever really was.)
- Johnny was probably drunk, or at the very least, almost there.
Either way, it's cute. He pushes Johnny's shoulder in retaliation, then returns his focus to Hot Pants and Diego.
Somehow, they'd started arguing. He’d only turned away for what, five seconds?
"You won't get it even if I gave you all the clues in the world," Diego says.
"How will I know if you don't try?"
"Trust me on this one, just pass."
Hot Pants frowns. "No."
Diego also frowns. "Is now really the time to be stubborn?"
"You're the one being stubborn."
Johnny and Gyro glance over at the screen. It says Quelea .
"The fuck is that?" Johnny and Gyro say at the exact same time. Diego snaps his fingers and points at them.
"See? Just pass it."
Hot Pants scowls more but passes. When Diego sees the next word that appears on the screen he pauses, and then breaks out in a smile so wide it looks like it hurts.
"I hate when you do that," Johnny says, shuddering.
"It must be Tyrannosaurus or something," Hot Pants says. The word on the screen is in fact, Tyrannosaurus.
Diego is looking at Hot Pants like she is the only person in the room.
"I love you," he says. Hot Pants rolls her eyes.
"Shut up, Dio. I'm right aren't I?"
Diego isn't even listening. He points to Gyro and Johnny, who are watching current events unfold with a thinly veiled layer of disgust, which always happens when Diego gets mushy (which is always).
"Can you two leave the room for a second?" he says. His eyes have not left Hot Pants.
Hot Pants is about to interject to tell Diego to shut up, again , but is interrupted by Johnny, who now just looks straight up disgusted.
"No. No, no, no. None of that shit in my fuckin' house."
"Oh stop being such a prude Joestar."
"Nah. My house, my rules. We’re already living out the ultimate American sitcom fantasy by having an actual couples' games night, the least we could fuckin' do is keep it PG."
"Making out is probably R-rated to a nun," Gyro supplies, completely unhelpfully. Diego snorts, no less determined, while Hot Pants interjects with a “no it isn’t.”
Johnny is busy thinking up an alibi for the triple homicide he is about to commit when the timer beeps on Hot Pant's phone.
"You wasted the time Dio!" she says, kicking at his leg. He doesn’t even try to defend himself.
She hands the phone over to Johnny, then turns back to scowl at Diego, but she's blushing so he doesn't look the least bit threatened. In fact, he actually looks awestruck.
"You just get me," Diego says to her. Johnny is now considering rescinding his previous plans for triple homicide in favor of one murder, three times.
"Ignore him bambino ," Gyro says, "I think he just has rocks in his head." That makes Johnny flush. He isn't used to pet names, especially from Gyro because they make him flustered. Gyro knows this, but Johnny loses the will to cuss him off like Hot Pants had done with Diego because Gyro is smiling at him. Maybe they've all had too much to drink.
"Hot Pants calls me cute Italian words too, since we're competing now apparently," Diego says.
"I'm begging you to shut the fuck up," Hot Pants says where she's rolled over to lay on the floor, hands covering her face.
"Look what you've done, Diego," Gyro says, tutting disapprovingly, "you made the nun curse."
Diego wiggles his eyebrows at Gyro. "This wouldn't be the first ti-."
"OK, NO MORE," Johnny yells. "NO MORE OF THIS. I'M STARTING." He glares at Diego, who raises his hands in mock surrender, before raising the phone to his forehead.
"We've got this in the bag Johnny," Gyro says. Johnny does not look the least bit convinced.
Off to the side, Hot Pants sits up, suddenly remembering something. She turns to Diego.
"What was the word you made me pass?"
" Quelea ."
"...Fuck's that?"
"Told you."
"It has claws."
"Bear?"
"No, sorry it's a sea creature. A crustacean."
"Crab?"
"No."
"Shrimp?"
"No, Johnny please."
"Is it a hermit crab?"
"Johnny PLEASE, you are killing me right now, you literally had one for dinner the other day."
"Oohh, lobster. Should'a just said that bit first."
Gyro just waves him off.
The next word comes up and it's...something he doesn't know in English. Just great.
"Shit. What animal is that?" he says.
Diego looks bewildered. "C'mon Zeppeli, this one's easy."
Hot Pants leans over to look.
"Oh, I see the problem." She explains to Gyro in Italian what the animal is. Or tries to explain, if the look of confusion on Gyro’s face is anything to go by.
"What do you think they're saying?" Johnny asks Diego, while this is happening.
"Fuck if I know. European bullshit."
"Aren't you British?"
"...Yeah."
Johnny watches the two converse. He can feel his face heat up a bit. It's always been kinda sexy to him when Gyro speaks Italian, but he rarely did it, even when Hot Pants was around. Johnny had a suspicious feeling that Gyro knew Johnny thought that about his Italian too, and was probably just holding out to torture him, but so be it. He would rather roll himself down a flight of stairs, crash land and then die than admit it out loud to Gyro.
"Nice bedroom eyes Joestar," Diego sneers, "what happened to keeping it PG?"
Johnny glares at him.
"What, you don't think it's-" he scrambles for a word that won’t make him sound like an idiot,"-nice? What happened to Hot Pants calls me cute Italian shit too or whatever the fuck it was you said."
"Ok, first off, shitty imitation. Didn't even try with the accent. Second, she mostly just curses at me in Italian. I don't have some weird fetish like you do over it."
"That's a load of shit, you probably like when she curses at you, you freak."
Diego pauses. Then he smiles a bit.
"I hate you so much," Johnny says.
The other two are still busy conversing, still in Italian.
" You should probably just look up the translation on your phone from now on, " Hot Pants says, having successfully described a porcupine to Gyro without revealing the word to Johnny.
Gyro gives her a look. " And waste time?"
" You're wasting time right now. "
"Shit!" Gyro says just as the timer beeps.
"We seem to be very bad at staying on track," Diego says, although he doesn't look the least bit like he cares, since it's to his advantage this time.
He pokes at Hot Pants, who, having finished her conversation with Gyro has returned to lying on the floor again. She's way too far gone for this.
"We're up again," Diego says.
She sits up. Or attempts to sit up.
"It just occurred to me, but was anyone keeping score?" she says.
The other three turn to look at her.
"I- does it not do that automatically?" Diego asks. Hot Pant shrugs.
Johnny raises his hand. "We'll call it me and Gyro's win, drink up."
Diego rounds on him immediately. "Fuck no! Zeppeli wasted half your time, if anything you should drink."
"Like you didn't do the same."
They glare at each other for about a full ten seconds before Johnny says, "Wanna play for it in Tetris?"
"You don't even have to ask, Joestar," Diego says, and then they're booting up the switch again.
Gyro watches them do this, and then turns to Hot Pants, who looks about ready to fall asleep on the floor.
"I don't think I like that game," he says.