Chapter Text
Suyeon looked down the long table at Weki Meki and - in a shocking change - their boyfriends. They were out to celebrate their three year anniversary since their debut and, at the same time, the lifting of their dating ban. Suyeon knew that some of the members had been dating before the ban was officially lifted, but it was in a very secretive, hands-off sort of way. Under the dating ban, to be "dating" someone meant you texted them whenever you could and you saw them in person once every few months, if that. Suyeon was proud to note that almost all of her members had found someone. Ellie was dating Astro's Moonbin. Doyeon was dating one of her makeup artists from "Pop-Out Boy." Sei was dating the assistant chef at one of her favorite organic restaurants. Everyone had found someone except for Suyeon and except for Lucy, who was sitting at the opposite end of the table from Suyeon.
Suyeon knew why Lucy hadn't found anyone. Helping Lucy deal with her issues had been one of Suyeon's biggest challenges as a leader and an unnie. She had lost track of how many times she had stayed up late with Lucy, as Lucy was crying and confused. "Sometimes I think I like guys," she'd say, "and sometimes I think I like girls. I don't know if I'm straight or if I'm gay!" It was also Suyeon could do to keep from saying "Be gay! Be gay with me!"
Yes, Ji Suyeon, leader of oldest unnie of Weki Meki, was gay. And furthermore, she had a huge crush on Lucy, the group's maknae. At first she had just thought it was a protective, sisterly feeling that she was feeling toward Lucy, but as time passed and Lucy matured, Suyeon realized that that was not the case. Sisters didn't do the things that she dreamed of doing with Lucy.
It would have been so easy, at any of dozens of nights that Lucy was trying to deal with her sexuality, for Suyeon to steer her toward being gay, and then make a move on her. But she knew that wasn't the right thing to do. She had to think about what was best for Lucy, and trying to figure out what Lucy actually wanted, not the things that she wanted for Lucy.
And that was how they came to where they were now: Celebrating their third anniversary, their dating ban lifted, and every member except Suyeon and Lucy dating somebody. Suyeon sighed and fiddled with the last of her rice. As she scooped up the last few grains and ate them, she realized what she needed to do.
"Okay, everyone, can I have your attention please?" she called out. Once she had everyone's attention. she announced. "I know you're all expecting me to lead you to phase two of the night. I know you've been wondering what bar or club I was going to lead you to, whether there would be karaoke or dancing or both or what. Well, I'm about to satisfy your curiosity."
After a longer than expected pause while Suyeon gathered her nerve for what she was about to say, Yoojung called out. "Well, don't just leave us hanging!" They all laughed at this, which broke the expectant mood and gave Suyeon just the push she needed to go through with her plan.
"There will be no phase two," she said. Over the rapidly rising tide of gasps and exclamations, she said "After three long years, our dating ban is finally lifted, and almost all of you have found someone already, so I'm guessing you'd rather spend the evening with your guy than trying to impress Leader Ji."
There was much gasping and laughter over this. Finally, Elly raised her glass and got everyone's attention, along with enough quiet that she could be heard. "Cheers to Leader Ji," she said, "for planning the perfect end of dating ban celebration! Don't get me wrong - I love all my members and I've enjoyed meeting your boyfriends, but I'm looking forward to spending some time with my boyfriend." There was general applause and rejoicing at this.
"Then, I'll be the first to leave," Suyeon said, and with that she got up and left the restaurant. She smiled at all her members on the way out, wishing them a happy night and reminding them that they still had to get back to the dorm in time to sleep before tomorrow's promotion. She didn't want to let on that what she was looking forward to was a pint of ice cream and a bottle of soju she had back in the dorm.
As she went outside, she noticed that it was starting to rain. She fished an umbrella out of her purse and opened it just as the first fat drops started hitting the ground. She was about to venture out in search of a taxi when she heard a voice behind her.
"Wait for me! I don't have an umbrella!"
Suyeon waited while Lucy got under the umbrella with her.
"Hey Suyeon-unnie!" Lucy said. "Where are you headed? Maybe we can share a cab!"
"I'm just headed back to the dorm," Suyeon said.
"Let me guess," Lucy said. "You've got a pint of ice cream and a bottle of soju. You'll spend the day tomorrow with a headache and you'll be totally stressed out about next week's weight check. I don't think so."
"That wasn't my plan," Suyeou said with a pout.
Lucy smiled at Suyeon's reaction to being caught out. She reached out and took cupped Suyeon's face in her hand, turning the leader's head so they were looking at each other. "Just try coming out with me," Lucy said. "If at the end of an hour you still want to go back to the dorm, your ice cream and soju will still be waiting for you. What do you say?"
The look on Lucy's face was so hopeful that there was no way Suyeon could say no, even though being out with people was the last thing she wanted right then. "Fine," she said. "Where are we going?"
"That's a surprise," Lucy said. "First we need a taxi." Miraculously, she was able to flag one down inside of a minute. She gave the driver an address that Suyeon didn't recognize except that it was in Gangnam, then leaned back in the plush back seat and leaned against Suyeon.
"It was a surprise to see everyone's boyfriend, wasn't it?" Lucy asked.
Suyeon nodded. "Some of them I expected, but some of them totally took me by surprise." She looked at Lucy. 'So why didn't you have anyone?"
Lucy looked at Suyeon, an appraising expression on her face. "Probably for the same reason you didn't," she said quietly, then turned quietly to look out the front of the cab.
Suyeon wasn't sure how to take this. Was Lucy saying that she'd decided she was gay, and she recognized that Suyeon was gay? Or did she mean something else entirely? Either way, Suyeon thought she'd better play it carefully. She wasn't out to any of her members and wasn't sure if she was ready for that yet.
Just then, the cab stopped in front of a coffee shop; the sign over the door said Caffe Pascucci. Lucy paid the cab driver and they got out.
"This place has the best coffee!" Lucy gushed. They got inside without getting too wet, where Suyeon was confronted with the most extensive coffee menu she had ever seen. After she'd had a chance to look it over, Lucy asked her what she wanted. "An Americano," Suyeon said.
Lucy scoffed. "I bring you to the best coffee shop in Seoul and you want an Americano?"
Suyeon nodded. Lucy ordered Suyeon's Americano and a cappuccino for herself, then shuffled Suyeon off to a table in the back corner of the room. After they were sitting, Lucy looked around. "Sometimes they have a jazz band here," she said, "but apparently not tonight."
Just then the waitress brought their coffees and a plate of biscotti. When she had gone, Suyeon took a sip of her coffee and looked across the table at Lucy. "It's very good coffee," she said, "but ice cream and soju still sounds pretty good."
Lucy tossed her hair. "I still think I can change your mind."
Suyeon checked the time on her phone. "Well, you've still got 50 minutes," she said.
Lucy nodded. "Did you think about what I said in the cab?" she asked.
"I've thought of pretty much nothing else for the past five minutes," Suyeon responded. "I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to say, so I'm not sure how to take it."
Lucy smiled coyly. "I think you know exactly what I meant. You're just afraid you might be wrong."
"Why don't you tell me what you meant," Suyeon said, "then I won't have to wonder whether or not I was wrong?"
Lucy dipped the end of her biscotti in her coffee and took a small bite. Once she'd finished chewing, she said "Remember all the nights I came to you crying because I was uncertain of my sexuality?" Suyeon nodded and Lucy went on. "Well, let's just say I've decided what I want, now all that remains is to see if I can have it."
After waiting a long moment for Lucy to elaborate, Suyeon said "Explain" and took a sip of her coffee.
"I figured out that I liked guys and girls, but I liked girls better. In fact, there was one particular girl I particularly liked, but I couldn't tell if she would be interested in me. I couldn't even tell if she was gay or straight. I decided the thing to do was to wait until our end of dating ban celebration party, see if she brought someone, and if so what sort of a someone."
"But," Suyeon broke in, "surely you had to know that, the LGBT situation in Korea being what it is, even if this girl was gay, she probably wouldn't feel comfortable being out with a girl like that. For a K-pop idol, it's still safest to stay in the closet."
"I had thought of that," Lucy said, "but I also thought that she might show up by herself or with someone that it was obvious they were just a couple of show and there was no chemistry there. That would give me a clue."
"From what I saw, everyone seemed to be pretty into their boyfriends," Suyeon said, "so it must have been a disappointing night for you."
Lucy shook her head. "No, because one member showed up without a boyfriend, and that's the girl that I'm interested in."
It took Suyeon a moment to full process what Lucy had said. "Me?" she finally asked. "You're interested in me?"
"Why is that so hard to believe?"
Suyeon sputtered and tripped over her words, then took a deep breath and a drink of her coffee to try to calm down. "Well, I'm over five years older than you, for starters," she began. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that you're interested in me, but I never would have imagined that you would be."
Lucy raised her eyebrows. "Why not? You're beautiful. You're kind. You're funny. You're so bloody patient with me it's ridiculous. Why wouldn't I be interested in you?" She paused for a moment. "No, don't answer that. Instead, just tell me if you think you could possible be interested in me? I mean, I know I'm a lot younger than you, and sometimes I can be immature, and you've seen me at my worst over the past three years, but do you think there might be a chance-"
Suyeon cut her off. "There's more than a chance. I'm definitely interested! I just. . . there's so much to think about. What do we do now?"
Lucy just took a sip of her coffee and smiled.