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Fili returned the nod, trying to remember the guard's name. Ore something, or was it Oli something? Uncle Thorin would know his name, he chided himself, Uncle Thorin would know the name of every guard in Ered Luin. Maybe even every dwarf.
He looked up at the early morning sky, the stars shining brightly above the ring of snow covered mountains surrounding them. It would be another cold day, he thought, his heavy fur hood sliding back onto his shoulders. He tugged it forward again, pulled his scarf up over his mouth and nose, protection against the biting wind that swirled about the gates. Wondered again why he wasn’t curled up and dreaming in a warm bed.
Oh yes, he reminded himself, because the fool would have gone by himself, that's why.
“If you’re quite done sighing, Fee?”
He smiled, looked to his impatient little brother. Kili was practically bouncing on his toes, eager to go. Or freezing. Most likely both.
“Pull your hood up.” Shifting the small pack on his back, Fili quickly ran through a weapons check. Sword, axe, knives. He would put coin on Kili not having much more than his bow. He ran a critical eye over his brother. “Where are your gloves?”
“In your pack. I’m not cold and I can't shoot with them on anyway.” Kili did bounce on his toes then. “Let’s go, Fee.”
Fili dropped his pack to the ground, rifled through it for the furred gloves and threw them across. “Put them on. I said we can go but only if you listen to me.” He slung the pack back on. “Good. Come on then.”
Kili was at his shoulder within a few steps. Fili pretended he hadn't heard the muttered ‘Finally' as they turned their backs to the warmth of the city and started down the icy mountain road.
“This is a terrible idea.” Fili felt it was worth repeating. He glanced behind him at the gate, at the guards watching them go. They had planned to wait until they were out of sight before cutting across country. Less fuss that way.
“Molir said it hasn’t frozen like this for over a hundred years. You can walk straight across to the other bank.” Kili turned and walked backward, eyes glinting with mischief above his scarf. “It would only be a terrible idea if we didn't go.”
Although trying very hard to be the sensible one, Fili was quite excited to see the River Lune frozen over too. Their Uncle Thorin had taken them to the banks of the fast flowing river many times. Although they'd never taken this shortcut before, always travelling with him down through the valley. Fili couldn't imagine how it was possible that the deep river could be frozen solid.
It had been a very long and very, very boring winter. Storms the like of which hadn't been seen in years had trapped all but the hardiest within the cold mountain fortress. He and Kili had been giddy as they pored over maps in Balin's study, whispering to each other excitedly as they picked out the shortest route down to the river. Planning their adventure.
Balin had been less than pleased on his return to catch them not studying the correct way to seat the clans at a great feast.
Fili’s cheeks had burned with humiliation as their tutor soundly told them off like they were nought but little dwarflings. Wagging his gnarled finger in Fili's face as he loudly stamped feeling back into his toes and sent Kili scampering away to make tea.
His face burned anew despite the cold as he remembered how he had pushed himself up to standing. He had tilted his chin like he'd seen Uncle Thorin do and drew himself to his full height. Reminded Balin in a calm but firm voice that not only was he fully grown but he was also Balin's crown prince and should therefore be treated with respect.
He had earned himself a solid clout for that, hard enough to rock him a step backward. His ears still ringing as Kili returned to the table with tea things, eyes darting anxiously between his elder brother and their tutor.
They had borrowed the map when Balin next left the room. It was now tucked in under Fili’s mattress for safe keeping.
Finally content with their intended route, they had impatiently awaited a break in the storms. It had felt like forever but eventually the perfect window of opportunity presented itself.
They had crept out before dawn, carrying their boots and putting them on outside in the cold and empty city street, excitedly shushing each other.
As luck would have it Amad was to be closeted from early morning with their uncle along with their tutors, Balin and Dwalin. They expected that she would assume they were still abed. Just in case she peeped in to check on them they had stuffed their beds with pillows and spare blankets, congratulating themselves on their cleverness.
To Fili and Kili it had felt like the stars had aligned in their favour. They agreed that it would be madness to ignore the signs.
And so here they were, the first they'd been outside the walls in weeks, any wonder Kili had a spring in his step. Fili felt like he could run all day. Which was a good thing, since they needed to be back by nightfall.
He took a deep breath of the fresh, sharp mountain air. It tasted like freedom.
Fili pushed the traitorous thought down. A true dwarf would be happy and lucky indeed to spend all his life locked up inside his mountain home, he scolded himself, even as he took another deep breath, filling his chest.
“Amad will be furious.” Fili felt as the responsible one of the pair he should repeat this to his brother too.
“Only if she finds out, brother. You worry too much. You'll be grey before you're eighty if you’re not careful. Ah, here is our place.” Kili turned aside from the road and Fili followed him, taking a last glance to check they were out of sight.
This is madness, Fili thought, as his foot sank again through the thin crust. More wet, freezing snow slipped down between boot and trousers and he cursed roundly. He heard a distinct snigger from behind him. Kicking his way forward through the drift he looked ahead. In the distance, far below them, he could make out the silvery snake of the river.
He stopped and looked at the sky, it must be mid morning already. They were not making good time. And the previously clear sky had clouded over, it looked heavy with more snow if he wasn't mistaken.
“We should go back.”
“Don’t stop here.” Kili pushed him from behind. “Keep moving, Fee. You'll get snow in my boots.”
“You mean you don’t have snow in them already?” He looked back over his shoulder at Kili, noted the darker clouds gathering over the mountain tops behind them. “I can't feel my toes.”
“Perhaps we should have just come down the valley after all.” Kili pushed him again. “But we'll come back that way. Keep going.”
Roped together for safety they somehow managed to make it down and off the mountain. Fili untied the rope from his waist and stamped his numb feet. Beside him Kili was shaking his hands hard. They'd fallen and slid before the last ridge and they were both damp and cold.
Arresting their terrifying slide by slamming his axe into the snow Fili had made sure his little brother was on a safe footing before carefully climbing back up and retrieving the gloves that had come off in the fall. It had taken a while and Kili's delicate fingers had been turning blue by the time he'd returned. Fili had blown on them and chafed them before shoving the gloves back on, tucking his brother's hands inside his own furs for a few moments to try and warm them. Holding Kili close to try and shield him from the worst of the weather.
The wind had been cruel though, nipping at exposed skin and burning their eyes, working its way through their layers. They had quickly become chilled and Fili knew he had to keep them moving down. He had looked Kili in the eye and promised him it would be warmer lower down.
It wasn't.
If anything if felt colder. Fili wasn't sure how that was possible. It wasn’t fair. He eyed the sky again. Ominous would be a good word for it, he thought.
“I think we should just head back, Kili.”
He could only see his brother's eyes between scarf and hood.
“Fine.” Fili sighed, “Fine. But we'll have to run to the river. That’ll warm us up a bit anyway. And we'll have just a really quick look and then we'll head straight home.” He set off at a quick trot over the snowy ground, Kili at his shoulder.
As the river came into sight it became a race. Fili pulling ahead as they ran at full tilt through the final stunted trees and down to the snow covered, stony riverbank. Fili flung out a hand to stop his brother's headlong charge.
They panted, the cold air stinging their throats.
“Feeling warmer?” Fili smiled as Kili nodded, his head bent to his knees.
Patting his brother's back Fili looked at the river in wonder. He'd never seen anything like it. It was beautiful. Quiet and peaceful. He could see waves frozen in motion, the ice almost blue. Nothing like the little frozen puddles they'd played on before, in previous winters, high up in the mountains. This was magnificent.
Beside him, Kili lifted his head, eyes wide. “So it is true,” he whispered as he straightened.
Fili nodded and they pulled down their scarves, grinned happily at each other. He shucked off his pack and set it by a boulder. They stepped closer to the river as one.
He stood on it first, leaned his full weight on it and pushed down. Jumped a little. It seemed solid enough.
“Shall we go to the other side?” asked Kili, the cold forgotten.
“I'll go first. Make sure it’s safe.” Fili stepped out and his feet nearly went from under him. Flinging out his arms he slid a few inches before he came to a halt with a laugh.
Distracted from their original plan they spent some time seeing who could slide the furthest. Kili won that one. And some time seeing who could slide the furthest on his feet, Fili won that one. Spinning in circles was quite fun too but eventually they got back to the task in hand.
Fili was past the midpoint of the river when he heard the first crack. He stopped and looked down at his feet, holding up a hand to Kili behind him. The ice was darker here but seemed solid enough.
“What is it, Fee?”
He looked back over his shoulder, his brother a good few metres behind him, “I thought I heard a noise. I think it's-”
A sharp intake of breath from Kili was his warning.
Fili leapt backwards, drawing his sword. Pointed it at the huge white wolf stalking towards them from the far bank, head lowered and a blood chilling growl issuing from its throat.
“Kili. Run.” Fili felt rather than heard the crack under his feet this time and he stumbled and cried out as the ice heaved beneath him and gave.
The cold was shocking, taking his breath away instantly. And it hurt. Sharp needles of pain all over his body. His head broke the surface and he thrashed in panic for a moment before he managed to grab at the ice shelf, gloved hands sliding on the ice and only then realising his sword was gone. The swift river current tugged hard at his legs, trying to pull him under. He looked downriver at the solid ice sheet stretching as far as he could see, felt a beat of fear.
A growl reminded him he wasn't alone.
Bracing himself on one arm as best he could against the ice he pulled a knife and turned to face the wolf. It was closer than he would have liked. Mercifully a good chunk of ice had broken away between them but sooner or later the beast would work out how to circle the broken section. Fili looked into the depths of its hungry, red eyes and saw death. He hoped Kili had ran, where there was one there would be others.
The wolf shifted its weight, a string of drool dangling from its jaws as it moved a little closer. Fili watched wide eyed, treading water frantically, as spiderweb cracks appeared under its massive paws.
“Go away,” he hissed at it, wondering if throwing the knife at it would work. It was one of his favourites, Amad had made it just for him. He didn't want to lose it. He wondered if he could swap it for his axe and throw that.
He realised his mind wasn't working properly and threw the knife overarm at the wolf. It was a bad throw and he watched, annoyed with himself, as it bounced hilt first off the beast's prominent ribs, skittering away harmlessly across the ice.
The wolf whipped its head around to watch the knife's progress. Turning back to him it snarled, lowering its head further and showing its sharp, yellow teeth. Huge muscles moving under the fur as it shifted its weight and prepared to spring. Fili snarled back in defiance, even though he felt more like howling.
Pulling his axe from his belt he hefted it, planning to try and bury it in the beasts skull. As he readied himself the cracks under the wolf began to widen with a series of quick, popping noises.
Fili suddenly realised that at best he had only moments before a panicking wild animal with massive teeth and claws would be in the water beside him. As he began to turn away, intending to use his axe to claw his way out of the water, an arrow sprouted from the wolf's throat. Followed quickly by a second in its eye. It staggered. Dead but not quite realising it yet.
Turning in the direction the arrows had come from Fili was shocked, relieved and more than a little angry to see his brother standing, wide eyed, on the riverbank. Another arrow nocked and ready. Distinctly not running away as he had been told to do.
A rasping, final gasp of breath behind him and he turned back as the wolf swayed and crashed to the frozen lake. A moment of silence before the ice cracked and buckled under the body.
Fili watched in horror as the cracks spread around them rapidly, he slammed his axe into the ice and began to frantically haul himself out as the shelf collapsed, taking him and the wolf with it.
For a brief, terrifying moment the river had him in its grip and he was swept downriver and under the ice shelf. The noise was deafening. He felt the body of the wolf knock against him as his flailing axe snagged on the edge of the ice and held.
Holding on to the axe with both hands he kicked hard upwards against the ice sheet, hoping to find a grip, break through, anything. His heart hammered furiously as he felt his gloved hands starting to slide, ever so slowly, down the wooden handle. The river beating against his shoulders, tugging at his legs, pushing and pulling him with it.
Fili looked down past his feet into the rushing darkness, an icy tomb awaiting him. Fought the now inexorable urge to take a breath.
He tore his eyes away, looked up towards his hands, past them to the patch of lighter water, black spots starting to cloud his vision. Bunching his muscles he readied himself to push up off the handle and try and get his hands over the ice edge.
As he powered himself forward hands burst through the water. An iron grip on his wrist, another grabbing his forearm, pulling at him strongly, giving him hope.
His head broke the surface and he gasped for air, looking up into his brother's scared face. Kili was speaking but Fili couldn't make out the words over the pounding of his heart in his ears.
Sound rushed back as Kili grabbed handfuls of his heavy, sodden coat, attempted to haul him out.
“Quickly, brother,” Kili urged. “You need to help me.”
Fili could hear the popping all around them now. He kicked his wobbly legs as hard as he could and pushed against the ice and Kili pulled and between them they managed to trail him out. He shoved at Kili, shouted at him to run and with the ice cracking and shifting under them they scrambled towards the shoreline.
“I’m home.” Dis closed the door behind her and shrugged off her heavy winter cloak, hanging it on the hook. “I hope you two...”
She tailed off, the little house was in darkness and chilled. Tutting she walked across the living quarters to the range, placed the back of her hand against it out of habit, stone cold. The stove was unlit too. She frowned as she looked around the kitchen area, clean and tidy. Exactly as she had left it.
Surely they aren't still abed, she thought, it's well past lunchtime.
She made her way towards their room, opening the door quietly and smiling fondly when she saw their sleeping forms. Rolled her eyes at the laziness of youngsters. Almost closed the door again to let them rest. Wondered when they had started sleeping in separate beds.
Throwing her cloak back on she ran back through the streets, bursting in to Thorin's quarters without knocking. Gasping out that the boys were gone.
Kili was worried.
His dependable big brother wasn't well. Fili was shivering hard and his lips were blue. Kili was cold too, he shook his hands hard to try and get the blood moving in his fingers.
He tried again. “Come on. On your feet. We need to go.” He tucked his hands under Fili's arms and tried to lift him. “That's it.”
Kili smiled at his brother as Fili finally made it to his feet and stood swaying, face chalk white. Kili nodded with satisfaction and turned to pick up the pack.
I'll carry my bow so I'm ready, Kili thought, nodding to himself. Where there was one wolf there would likely be more and he was in charge of protecting his brother now.
Kili looked around nervously in case anything was sneaking up whilst he was distracted. Quickly counted the arrows in his quiver and unhappily huffed out a plume of white breath.
Realised Fili had sat down again.
Muttering some words that would have earned him a clip around the ear from Amad had she heard him, Kili slung his bow across his back and tugged at his brother. “You're being very difficult, Fee. Up you get.”
Dis ran up the steps to Balin’s study, pushed and elbowed her way through the mass of broad shoulders to the table.
“Sister.” Thorin looked up from the map, noted her travelling clothes and the axe over her shoulder. He raised an eyebrow. “Where exactly do you think you are going?”
She ignored him, spoke to the captain of her personal guard. “What do we know so far?”
Molir nodded to her, glanced at Thorin. “The boys were seen at the gate before dawn. They left in the direction of the valley.” He coloured and dropped his eyes. “We suspect they headed for the river.”
“The river?” Dis looked at the map. “The River Lune?” She traced the route down the valley. It was miles away. "What in Durin’s name would take them there?”
Molir cleared his throat. Dis narrowed her eyes as she watched him shuffle his feet like a dwarfling. She raised her eyebrows expectedly.
“Kili overheard us talking about the river. About how it's frozen over. I didn't think anything of it at the time but looking back on it now...” He tailed off, looked distraught as he raised his eyes to hers. “I'm sorry, Dis. We'll find them, they're sensible enough lads.”
Dis stared at him.
“Like as not, we'll meet them on their way back up the valley.” Dwalin patted her shoulder. “Full of apologies for worrying you.”
She didn’t miss Oin and Balin shouldering medical bags as the search party left and made their way to the gate.
Kili looked toward the distant mountains, barely visible through the swirling snow, and sighed heavily. It hadn't seemed anywhere near as far when they were running. He shifted the weight of Fili's arm around his shoulders and adjusted his grip on his brother's waist.
The sky was properly darkening now, the wind had picked up and it really was snowing very heavily. Kili wished heartily that he was at home, sitting with Fili in front of the stove. All nice and cosy. Laughing with Amad about her day as she finished serving up dinner. Or maybe they would already have had dinner and she would have been putting together something warm for dessert. Stewed apples perhaps, he thought wistfully, maybe with a little cream if any could be spared. His stomach rumbled loudly and painfully.
If his brother had been making any sense Kili would have admitted to him that he was a little frightened. Kili sighed again, Fee would have made him feel better.
As it was he just felt very, very alone and very responsible, he didn't like it. He looked over his shoulder, back towards the trees near the river. Thought of the tinderbox in the pack.
“I think we should go back to the trees, brother. We'll find somewhere to snuggle in and get a fire going. Get ourselves warmed up and dried off a bit, what do you think?”
He pushed his head close to Fili's, listened carefully for a response. Couldn't make it out.
“I know you're tired and cold, my brother.” Kili looked along the dark treeline at the river, spotted a little copse a bit further on that looked promising.
He kissed Fili's chilled forehead gently, pushing the damp curls away from his face and tucking his wet scarf tighter around him. “Not much further now, I promise.”
Thorin looked ahead in the direction of the river with Gloin as Dwalin helped Balin down from the final ridge. Visibility was poor, snow swirling in flurries. He stamped his chilled feet.
“Any tracks?” Dwalin cast around the ground in front of them.
Thorin shook his head, the heavy fresh snow on the valley floor would have long covered any tracks. He looked back up the mountain. “Could we have missed them, Dwalin?”
“No.” Dwalin spoke with confidence, “No. You saw the axe marks before the last climb. And we couldn't have missed them since then. They must have gone onward.”
“We will find them.” Gloin nodded, his beard full of snow. “Then you can strangle them both.” He pointed through the snow. “They'll have taken the most direct route to the river, this way.”
They forged ahead against the wind, shouting for the boys now that avalanche was no longer a concern. The wind tore their voices away but it helped them feel they were doing something.
Thorin looked over his shoulder a final time before he lost sight of the mountain, scanned up the route they can come. Following the scant trail where the boys had left the mountain road.
They could have fallen, his mind taunted him, they could have been lying only steps away from your boots, hurt and unconscious, buried with fresh snow and you would never have seen them.
No, he told himself sternly, they are on their way back up the valley and they will meet Dis stomping her way down and she will take them home by the ears. By the time I’m back they will be bathed and fed and warm and none the worse for their adventure.
And they will be confined to the mountain until their beards are grey, he added to himself, pulling his hood further forward.
The snow and wind lessened as they made their way through the sparse treeline and down to the rocky shore. Ahead of them the frozen river groaned and creaked loudly in the gloom, filling the silence as they stood transfixed, staring at it with a mixture of awe and horror.
Dwalin roused himself first. Stepping purposefully onto the ice, he slid immediately and windmilled his arms, desperately trying to keep his balance. Despite his anxiety Thorin sniggered, earning himself an eyeroll from Balin.
Recovering his dignity Dwalin looked around, raising the torch. He shuffled carefully forward.
“Careful, brother!” called Balin.
A grunt in reply. Dwalin shuffled a bit further. Thorin's heart clenched as he heard his friend's intake of breath.
“What do you see?” Thorin stepped on to the ice, someone grabbed his sleeve but he shook them off. He rushed forward, unsteady and off balance, grabbing a hold of Dwalin for support as he slid to a halt and nearly took them both down.
Thorin stared in horror at the break in the ice, the dark water rushing underneath. Thinner ice reforming around the edges. He pointed and Dwalin raised the torch again, they both shuffled forward, the ice cracking and groaning ominously under their boots.
“No," Thorin whispered as the torchlight caught on the blade of an elaborate knife balanced precariously on the far edge of the ice shelf. He recognised it at once as Fili's. A much loved present from Dis. His nephew would not have let it go willingly. “No.”
Dwalin tried to move closer but further pops and cracks and a shift in the ice underfoot forced them back to the shore. Thorin swiped at his eyes with the heel of his hand as Dwalin explained to the others.
“We'll go downstream.” Balin pulled Thorin into a hug, touched their cold foreheads together. “Work our way downstream and we'll meet the others. Do not give up hope just yet.”
Thorin nodded and looked around the others, all eyes wet and red with the cold. He nodded again, unable to speak just yet, his mind cruelly conjuring images of his boys tumbling in the river, their bodies weighed down by their heavy clothes, dragged under the ice in their final moments. Each taking a last watery breath as they reached desperately for each other. Entombed together in the dark until the spring melts revealed their bones.
He looked into Balin's sad face, his voice cracked a little as he gathered himself and spoke, still nodding. “Yes. They may have got out a little downstream, we'll find them.” His chest hitched and he swallowed hard over the painful lump in his throat, raised his voice. “Quickly. They will be wet and cold. There is no time to waste.”
He moved off without waiting for a response, heard the others start calling the boys names. He joined in, shouting as loud as he could, feeling like his heart was breaking.
Kili lifted his head slowly, he was sure he had heard something that time. He shook his head to clear it but his vision was still blurry.
“Fee,” he whispered, patting his brother’s head clumsily. Realised he couldn't feel his fingers. “Are you awake?”
No response from his big brother. Asleep, thought Kili, just asleep. I'll not wake him just yet.
He wriggled out from under Fili, noticing the pathetic little fire had gone out. It looked like it had been out for some time. Setting Fili’s head carefully on the ground he stood and fell immediately to his knees, head spinning. He tried again with the same result.
I'm going to be sick, he thought, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to the wet ground until the feeling passed.
He lifted his head again at a half heard sound. “Uncle?” he whispered.
Raising his voice he called again and again, as loud as he could. Waited forever, holding himself on shaking arms, listening hard. Barely daring to hope.
Carefully pushing himself back up to his feet, he stood a touch unsteadily and gathered himself to go and have a look. Lifting his aching head at a noise from the other side of the little clearing he was filled with a sudden joy to see his uncle burst through the gloom between the trees.
Kili smiled, relieved that all would now be well, and stepped forward as the world went dark and the ground rushed up to meet him.
Fili's eyes snapped open and he sighed in relief as he recognised the carved legs of the kitchen table in front of him.
Lying quietly he tried to piece everything together. His mind felt a bit dull and foggy. He remembered falling into the river and Kili fishing him out. He couldn't recall getting home but they must have managed it.
The feeling of warm skin under his fingers distracted him. Casting his eyes downward he smiled at the mop of dark hair against his chest, recognising the weight of his little brother's arms wrapped around him, their legs entwined. Skin on skin as always. The sound of deep, even breathing. Familiar and comforting.
He weaved his fingers into his brother's tangled hair and gently stroked his scalp. Kili mumbled a little in his sleep and tightened his arms, curled in closer.
Yawning widely Fili snuggled in further under the blankets, dropped a light kiss into his brother's hair. He'd think more later when he woke up properly, he decided. They were home and safe and that was all that mattered.
He happily breathed in his brother’s warm scent and the smell of his Amad's cooking. Enjoying the warmth of the stove at his back and the comfortable mattress underneath him.
His eyes snapped open again.
Why are we in the kitchen? He thought frantically. Why have I no clothes on in the kitchen?
Slowly so as not to disturb Kili he turned and looked into his uncle's eyes.
“There you are,” Thorin rumbled, his voice loud in the quiet kitchen. “You had us worried for a while.”
He reached out and placed a large hand across Fili's forehead, smiled and nodded with satisfaction before his face became serious.
“You have some explaining to do, my sister-son.”