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2020-08-10
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to love and be loved (hold me)

Summary:

Chanhee thinks to himself that he’s very lucky to have someone that loves him as Sunwoo does. They’re both very lucky to have each other. They are lucky to be in love. 

or Chanhee falls asleep on Sunwoo and Sunwoo doesn't mind at all.

Notes:

hello!
This is my very first time writing for the boyz, and of course my very first time writing sunnyu/sunnew.

I hope whoever reads this finds it okay, although it was very self-indulgent as most of my works are.

so... chanhee and sunwoo... I think they're the softest babies, and I needed to write something fluffy to make myself feel better. If anyone decided to read it, I do hope it's well-received and makes you happy~~

This was unbeta-ed, all mistakes are mine. comments are appreciated<3 and they make my days better.

if any friend sees this... hey i am not dead i am simply not real

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Chanhee is tired. Very tired.  

He’s had the longest day in weeks, and it does not help that the night before he couldn't sleep a wink because his neighbor was blasting music (his horrible, horrible music, he might add) all night long.  Work was a bitch too, his co-worker has been sick for at least a week now and it's on a leave, so it’s all left for Chanhee to do by himself.   

Chanhee sighs, resting his head against the bus window. He can feel his entire body aching for some rest, but he can’t. He promised his boyfriend they would have a movie night and he does not want to disappoint him. 

He is aware that Sunwoo would not mind if Chanhee decided to cancel on him, or at least he would pretend not to mind. He is sweet like that, he thinks to himself, smiling. 

But even if he’s tired and sleepy, the prospect of seeing Sunwoo puts a smile on his face and makes his entire body feel a sense of content, as if he knows that once he sees him, he will feel better. He's only overthinking it because he knows Sunwoo deserves Chanhee’s full attention as they don’t get to see each other that much lately because of his job and the other’s studies, and he is aware of how much Sunwoo misses him daily. 

Sunwoo is always texting him whenever he has free time, sending him tons of his cheesy ass emojis and cute pouty selfies. Chanhee always says he hates it. But Sunwoo knows the truth. 

So, Chanhee decides that he can’t take a rain check. He is going to try his best to stay awake during their movie night.  

He looks outside and sees the familiar landscape of Sunwoo’s neighborhood, meaning he is close to his stop. He sighs again, this time more content. 


 

In front of Sunwoo’s door, he hesitates. 

They’ve been dating for a year, yet he still hesitates every time he has to open the door.  

A couple of months ago, Sunwoo gave him a copy of his key, telling Chanhee that he could come over anytime, especially now that their schedules were so hectic and messy. But... Even if Chanhee might seem like a very outgoing and confident person, he is quite shy when it comes to his own romantic relationship. His heart skips many beats when he sees the key Sunwoo gave him. It’s silly but he thinks to himself if he really deserves this symbol of trust that he was given. 

He shakes his head and opens the door.  

As soon as he does, he is hit out of nowhere by the warmth of very familiar arms. Arms that envelop him like a fluffy blanket. He whines as he feels a cold nose rubbing on his neck. His stomach flips, and he melts in the embrace. 

“Hi.” comes muffled from the side of his neck, “I missed you so much,” Sunwoo adds, Chanhee bites his lip, hands clutching on the other’s back.  

“Yeah?” he asks. He sure Sunwoo can hear it in his voice. Something only both of them could understand.  

“Hmmm,” he feels the Sunwoo’s lips softly pressing against his skin, “Very much so.” 

Chanhee’s cheeks heat up, and he smiles, pushing Sunwoo back to finally look at him. As he does, he finds Sunwoo’s lovestruck smile and his intense gaze. Chanhee does not like to think so highly of himself, contrary to popular belief, he is not self-centered. But whenever Sunwoo looks at him this way, he feels like the most important person in the planet earth, and it makes his body itch in a good way. 

“Hey,” he says, biting back a smile. Sunwoo smiles even wider, and leans in, pecking his lips. Chanhee jumps in place.  

“Hey,” says Sunwoo, leaning back.  

“I hate this,” he says. Sunwoo laughs and raises an eyebrow. 

“What?” he asks. Chanhee knows that Sunwoo is just teasing him, but he still replies. 

“Whenever I come you make it awkward,” he replies.  

“It’s not my fault that you’re so easily flustered,” he says, and Chanhee huffs out a laugh.  

“That’s so not it,” says Chanhee, running his hands down Sunwoo’s arms, “You know I just hate how you look like a puppy that was waiting for his owner,” he smiles, lifting one hand and poking Sunwoo in the nose, making the other look crosseyed “We both know it’s the other way around.” 

Sunwoo huffs, “Woah,” he says, smiling, “You’re so-” Chanhee kisses him quickly to shut him up. 

“Come on, let me close the door, yeah?” he says, Sunwoo simply nods. Chanhee turns around, smiling to himself. He is a very lucky man, he thinks.  

 


 

They’re both getting ready to watch a movie after having dinner. Sunwoo had ordered takeout because he was “too tired” to cook anything (In reality, he’s just bad at it, but Chanhee always lets him pretend that’s not the case), they ate and chatted, Sunwoo told Chanhee about his day and about a new project he was assigned. Chanhee offered his help and Sunwoo laughed, which fair enough, Chanhee could only do so much with the little time he has. By the end of it, he started to feel tired again. 

Chanhee can feel the drowsiness wash over him, he doesn’t want to let it take over him so he forces himself to stay active, jumping in place next to the couch as he watches Sunwoo setting up the pillows on the floor in front of his laptop. Sunwoo doesn’t own a TV, he’s a student after all, so they work with what they have.  

“Okay, we’re all set,” says Sunwoo, flopping down on the duvet and pillows, eyes closed and a smile on his face. He looks cozy, the sight makes Chanhee feel warm, “Come here, babe,” he says, patting his own stomach. His feet tingle. 

“Yeah,” he murmurs, and slowly crawls on top of the other. As soon as his head hits Sunwoo’s chest, his body melts on top of him.  

You know how sometimes there are certain things you do that make you feel like everything has been lifted off your shoulders? Like taking off your shoes at home after a long day of work, or taking a shower at night after you finished all your chores. Those moments where you go “Ah, the day is finally over, I can relax now.” 

Whenever Chanhee is hugged by Sunwoo, he feels this way. He feels so, so comfortable that he can’t help but let his whole weight be supported by the other, it feels like his very own safe space. That’s it, he feels safe. Sunwoo’s arms are like home to him, and it makes him so happy that it’s a bit embarrassing to think about it too much. Still, he loves it.  

But the downside is, he feels so relaxed that he does not control how his body reacts. And this time, his body decides to simply turn off against his will.  

He's taken back to reality as he feels Sunwoo shaking him a little bit, “Hmm?” he asks, but his mind is elsewhere.  

“I asked if you’re sleepy,” says Sunwoo. Chanhee can recognize amusement in his voice. 

“No,” he mumbles, not opening his eyes, “Put the movie on,” he demands. 

“Baby, I can’t move when you’re dropped dead on top of me,” says the other. Chanhee frowns, rubbing his cheek against Sunwoo’s chest.  

“Don’t be mean” he whines, “Find a way,” Sunwoo giggles, Chanhee’s mind registers a positive answer but then feels hands running through his hair and back. He sighs and presses his lips once against Sunwoo’s chest. Then, he drifts away.  

 


 

When he wakes up, he feels something wet against his nose. 

He opens his eyes, to find two amused ones looking back at him.  

“What,” he says. He feels the same wetness against his cheek, accompanied by a smacking sound. "Oh," he thinks, "He's being kissed. By Sunwoo.  In Sunwoo's house. Because he fell asleep on Sunwoo."

“Hey, pretty,” says Sunwoo, their faces inches apart. Chanhee’s whole face heats up. 

He looks around and sees their bodies entangled, both his legs in between Sunwoo’s, his waist being held by the other, chest to chest. He feels the urge to run away in embarrassment. 

“Uh,” he utters groggily, “This-,” he stops, not knowing what to say as Sunwoo looks directly at him, a dumb smile on his lips. His own eyelids still feel heavy, and he must look bloated right now, which can’t be a nice sight to look at. He quickly hides his face on Sunwoo’s neck. 

He feels the vibrations of his laughter against his face, and his body gets hotter with how ashamed he is. 

“Now, why are you hiding?” he taps against Chanhee’s cheek, “Come out,” he says. 

“No,” he whines.  

“Why won’t you let me see your pretty face?” asks the other. Chanhee wants to scream, so instead, he bites, “Ow! What was that for?” 

Chanhee sighs, and then leans back, “Sorry for falling asleep,” he mumbles, looking anywhere but at Sunwoo’s face. 

Sunwoo drops another wet kiss against his nose, “I don’t mind,” he says, another kiss, “I like it,” another kiss. Chanhee’s soul feels like escaping his body. 

“Don’t lie to me, I know you wanted to spend time with me and I ruined it,” he can feel Sunwoo tense up against him, “And stop that!” 

“I’ll stop, but what do you mean by 'ruined it'?” he asks, “You definitely did not ruin anything, baby, what makes you think so?” he says, rubbing up and down against Chanhee’s side. He bites his lip, feeling a sense of shame. 

“Well, I fell asleep on you instead of spending quality time with you. And then you had to endure whatever I did while I was sleeping... I’m sorry” he explains. Sunwoo let’s out a sound in disapproval.  

“Let me ask you something,” starts the other. Chanhee looks at him and nods, “Are you aware of how much I love you?” 

Hearing this, Chanhee feels his chest tighten, “Huh?” 

“I’m just wondering if you know how much I love you,” he repeats. Chanhee hits Sunwoo in the chest, whining.  

“Stop,” he pleads. 

“No,” says Sunwoo, determined, “Hyung, you’re the most special to me, you know? And I don’t care if you have nothing to say to me, I don’t care if you sit in silence, I don’t care if you fall asleep on me, I’m happy with anything because I love you,” Chanhee suckles on his bottom lip, his fingers twitching against Sunwoo’s chest as he listens, “To hold you against me is something so precious to me, I would do this daily if I could, it’d be an honor, you know?” 

“Yah...” he complains, it comes out a little weak, he’s sure Sunwoo notices how flustered he is at the moment. He doesn’t know what to say, but he looks up into Sunwoo’s eyes. His gaze feels very heavy, and Chanhee can feel the love in it, “I love you too,” he says in the end. 

Sunwoo smiles, “Thank you for saying that,” he says. 

Chanhee frowns, he thinks for a bit in silence. Is Sunwoo also aware of how much Chanhee loves him? “You don’t need to thank me.”

“Hmm, but I want to thank you anyway,” he says, hugging Chanhee a bit tighter, “Thank you for loving me,” he adds, dropping a kiss against his temple. 

“That’s a given,” says Chanhee. Sunwoo looks at him, confused, “Well, it’s in my nature. To love you,” he says, nonchalantly, “Choi Chanhee will always love Kim Sunwoo, it’s the way it works.” 

“Woah,” exhales Sunwoo, “Are you looking to kill me?” 

Chanhee laughs with an open mouth, scrunching his nose and this seems to send Sunwoo over the edge, because in a matter of seconds he’s over Chanhee, peppering kisses all over his face, while Chanhee whines as he always does. 

“I love you more than anything,” he whispers almost against Chanhee’s lips. Chanhee smiles and kisses him short but deep enough to take Sunwoo’s breath away. When he leans away, they stare at each other, and it isn’t awkward. It feels right. 

“I’ve been tired,” he says, “I think you would like to know about my day, so I wanna share it with you,” Sunwoo nods, he seems to be giddy. Chanhee gets it, this feels somewhat exciting.  

When you like someone, you want to know about them, you’d be interested in what they have to say. But when you love someone, it goes deeper than that, at least for Chanhee. Everyone experiences love in a different way, and for him, it also manifests itself in being deeply interested in everything about Sunwoo and feeling blissful every time the other wants to share things with him. He figures Sunwoo feels the same. 

“Please,” says Sunwoo, “I noticed you seemed tired and a bit down, but I didn’t want to intrude too much,” he confesses. Chanhee feels Sunwoo’s thumb drawing circles on his hip. It’s comforting. 

“Well, today sucked...”  

They talked for about an hour until Chanhee started to feel sleepy again. Too tired to talk anymore.  

Sunwoo giggled every time Chanhee replied to his questions with grunts and whines. It made Chanhee feel proud of making Sunwoo feel amused.  

With Sunwoo caressing his back as he drifts off, Chanhee thinks to himself that he’s very lucky to have someone that loves him as Sunwoo does. They’re both very lucky to have each other. 

They are lucky to be in love. 

Notes:

so that was disgusting wasn't it--- thanks for reading!!

my twt is @ourvicton, i'm lazy to leave a link but yeah if you wanna follow me there please do