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Jason Todd had never been that happy in his young life before. Every day at Wayne Manor with Bruce and Alfred is a delight, but every night in his costume as the Knight's sidekick... is everything he never knew he needed to feel alive.
"I'm Robin, and being Robin gives me magic!"
He had fun.
All the time, he played the game and lived it up. Nothing could happen to him. This uniform protects him, like an armor. All things considered this might sound ironic given the lack of efficient shield provided by his clothes what let his legs, most of his arms and his full head uncovered, his identity supposedly 'hidden' by a simple domino mask covering his mismatched eyes of two very different shades of blue.
Regardless the striking contrast of his attire against Bruce's microfibre full-body armor, Jason felt safe.
He never minded his looks, either.
Riddler missed no occasion to mock his outfit's aesthetic, asking if the panty is a bathing suit or a beanie he mispositioned. In return Jay queried if the spandex is a stripper garb and what bet he lost to hang out in these question-marks covered flashy things.
This like the rest, was amusing.
Not once, he thought his training alongside the Bat and his skills acquired during years as a street kid would fail him. Moreover, his attire may comprised a scaly panty and a short-sleeved tunic, he owned multiple gadgets to ensure his protection.
So... well.
Tonight, he felt truly unhappy.
His equipment failed him: over the fight his grapple hook had been knocked out of his hands, and now... if it wasn't for the green vine that grabbed him by the ankle, he would have fallen to the ground. Would have died.
Poison Ivy never minded children. She didn't like their company, she hardly ever tolerates anyone's except for Scarecrow and Mad Hatter, who brought interesting conversations. And Riddler, whose knowledge in science is valuable even if she feels so done and frustrated by that kid's bratty demeanor.
She never cared for Batman's bird-boys or Batgirl.
This attack is hers, she worked to plan it, she is at the origin of the damages it caused, she battled with the Dynamic Duo via her monstrous creations.
She... shouldn't have noticed that Robin has been ejected out of the flat roof's building without any way to catch himself, whilst Batman was too busy fighting to manage a rescue of his sidekick.
It lasted a fraction of second, during which she prevaricated whether to let the boy fall to meet his unexorable death or not. A fraction of second later, a vine wrapped around his ankle and roughly pulled him back on the rooftop.
Their gazes met, locked together during a shaky instant frozen out of time, before they... resumed the fight. What else could have they done?
The tomorrow day, Jason shifted uncomfortably.
"And so, she saved meh.", he concluded as he ate his caramel ice cream. "Shoul' I say somethin' ta her?"
Mister Freeze shrugged his shoulders. The scientist wasn't sure why or what it is due to precisely: he welcomed the Batkids at one of his hideouts when they wanted... an advise, they could call him and reach this meeting point.
He had always been great with kids. When they discussed having a family, Nora said she couldn't have dreamed of a better father for her future children.
These dreams were long gone, Victor Fries was an all new man now. Still, he conserved qualities prior his second life, he won't ever harm children. Dick told Jason that Barbara and him went to Freeze's occasionally, when the rogues acted weird and they needed someone in their circle to enlight their unusual behavior.
"What would you want to say?", the doctor asked gently.
"Dunno. Isn't dat odd?"
"I consciously saved Birdie the First three times.", the rogue listed. "I guess 'baddies' or not, we don't kill little birds."
"How thoughtful.", Jason jeered, half-mocking half-glad, he stored the information in his brain.
He knew he has to thank Isley for saving his life.
Yet the words never came out, she visibly wasn't waiting for an acknowledgement either. They didn't mention the scene next time they saw each other during the doctor's newest plan, they acted as if it... never happened.
Keeping that facade is probably for the best.
_____
"You'd win cooperatin'.", Jason announced when the guards left.
No assistance required, he can handle a conversation with a rogue without two Arkham staff members behind him, thank you very much. He made that very clear. Batman is out on the Joker's tracks, he asked his partner to take care of a serial killer's case neither Bruce nor the GCPD solved in weeks. It was almost a dead-end... teenagers' bodies kept blooming all over town with the same trademark sign linking those horrific murders to one faceless person hidden in the shadows.
Riddler furrowed his brows.
He appreciated the distraction: two guards picked him from his cell to walk to a psychiatrist's. In place of Hugo Strange ready to administrate some punishment he labelled 'treatment', Robin waited in the office.
Without a word, the men locked his wrists to the chair's armrests, they retreated when the kid aggressively commanded them to leave. This made Eddie smile. He loved this boy's temper.
Thereafter... the chick exposed he needs help for a serial killer affair, not delivering more elements in case Riddler declined.
Ed was about to let out a snarky remark to qualify the bats' lack of skills, first words he would have pronounced in this room. Instead it's a cough that escaped from his lips when he opened his mouth.
His cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, he was unable to suppress two more pitiful coughing noises akin to a mouse's squeak.
Jason arched an eyebrow.
"Are ya sick?"
"Of course not!"
He wheezed despite his efforts to block the reaction.
"Ya shoul' take a dose of aerosol.", Jay pointed out, not getting why Nygma stayed motionless. "They didn't cuff yar hands tight, you can move ta your front pocket."
Edward bit his lower lip, ashamed. Of course the bird read his file, the whole damn Batfamily knows everything about them, from backstory to traumas, from physical and psychological condition to sexual orientation.
Taking his medicine away is a stupid, puerile vengeance of Strange's; he only gave it back when Ed risked a full asthma attack. For the rest nope, he deemed Riddler can manage without his inhaled corticoids. Until then, his aerosol was placed in his orange jumper's pocket on his chest. Not like he could do anything wrong with this, the guards and doctors never removed it before.
Naturally, today Eddie subtly insulted the two goons' deficient intelligence when the guards arrived at his cell, so they rapidly but efficaciously beat him where it's not noticeable: legs and abdomen, before dragging him to the office. He had been barely able to breath as they made him walk after the kicks landed on his stomach.
"It's... not here.", he articulated between shaky breaths.
As long as he didn't talk he focused on breathing, but something told him it's too late to repress a crisis if he doesn't take his treatment.
Robin leaned forward.
"Nygma. Where is yar medicine?"
"At... the... infirmary. Strange's new rules.", he sneered. "It's... considered 'privilege', I don't have... free access... to it anymore."
"Why?!"
"Cuz... he prefers giving when it's... critical. He waits until I'm chocking... he finds that funny... He likes it when his 'patients' beg to be... given medication."
"I didn't come here ta beat up dat douchebag.", Robin cringed. "But I guess I can add that to my schedule."
Later, when they were both at the asylum's infirmary (Jason made the nurses here leave so that they're alone), Robin resumed their talk.
"What's in there for me?", Edward asked, his breathing regular again and pleased his handcuffs have been removed. "I won't help you just because you avoided me an attack."
He wasn't going to thank the little brat: letting an asthmatic chronic carry his aerosol is normal, even in prison.
"Ya escape.", Jason proposed. "If ya help me, if you solve the case, you'll disappear after it's done, I won't force you to go back ta Arkham. As long as Strange's in charge, ya should keep low profile."
It's worth it.
"... I only accept because that will give me a new element to boast about how anything Batman can do, I can do better."
That's exactly what happened, Edward never let the bats forget he solved a case for them.
Neither Robin nor Batman thanked him when they arrested the maniac thanks to Nygma's investigation. Jason kept his word: Riddler vanished after the case was closed. Both parties fulfilled their contract, Eddie let the sidekick know he can come to him again if he needs a hand in forthcoming affairs.
It occurred at a couple of occasions, Robin asked for an information or a clever deduction.
And Edward accepted; sometimes against something in reward, sometimes for free when the request is worthy of his attention.
Since he saw these as an exchange more than services, Riddler never expected to be thanked for his help. A good thing, because Robin never thanked him.
_____
When you jump, you must be ready to fall.
Robin is not supposed to fall. Robin is supposed to be strong, resistant... unbreakable.
Jason panted, his knees badly scratched. His green gloves rasped against the ground, albeit they protected his hands from suffering the same fate, the impact hurt.
He knew how to catch himself up, learning how to limitate the damages is one of Batman's first training lessons.
Limping a little, Jay had left the area of the explosion when he fell on his hands and knees. His right leg bled profusely, a sharp metal sliver dug into his thigh.
A hand grabbed him by the collar to put him back on his feet.
"Get off, I ain't..."
"Shut up, kid.", Catwoman growled.
She let him go, watched his sorry state with... was that concern?
She was out in the neighborhood when she witnessed the explosion. Knowing Bruce is in outerspace with his bitches (hum... with his colleagues from the Justice League), she felt like she couldn't leave the kid alone now that she caught him hurt.
"You can... go to the Iceberg Lounge to clean your wounds, baby bird.", she decided, surprised herself by her unusual kindness. "Come along."
Technically, this was not a bad idea. Perhaps a slightly strange one, but not... negative.
Jason didn't want to go back to the Manor bleeding and bruised. Not that he would be able to hide his recent injuries, but at least if he went home patched up, it won't look... miserable.
Thus that's exactly what he did.
Oswald Cobblepot keeps useful supplies. Before Jay got to ask, he gave him a first aid kit and indicated a bathroom when the bleeding chick appeared alongside Selina.
"Want help to patch yourself up?"
Jason frowned at Riddler's innocent remark. Because yes, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Man-Bat and him were having tea with the owner of the place when he arrived.
"I am a better doctor than you.", the redhead reminded.
"Fuck off, Ginger.", Robin grunted, unimpressed.
"Contrary to most people here, he is not a doctor.", Jonathan Crane jested. "I am. We are in 'civilian mode', none of us will attack you today."
Jay blamed his lack of self-preservation: after a debate, he ended up with... Scarecrow studying meticulously his injuries in an adjacent room of the Lounge.
"I am the two kinds of doctor.", the rogue pledged while cleaning the wounds. "I did studies in medicine before I specialized in psychiatry."
"I know. I read yar file, professor."
"Fair enough."
He worked silently, efficient and dedicated to perform a neat job. Once they were done, Jason... didn't leave right away.
Maybe he should have, he played with fire enough for today. Still he went back to the main room and queried forcefully:
"Can I get a drink?"
Penguin didn't mind.
Jason spent the night playing poker with him, Riddler, Ivy, Catwoman, Langstrom and Scarecrow. Whom seemed to hate the card game, Jonathan sneaked side glances at Edward, for some obscure reason. Perhaps it is due to Riddler's recent makeover: the man-child abandoned his spandex in favor of an elegant, tailored green and purple suit. Somehow, it made him look... like an adult.
At the Manor, Alfred scolded him for his hangover tomorrow. But eh, it had been worth it.
_____
There is a red mark on Robin's side, it covered part of his cheekbone and up to his domino mask. May his left eye was swollen beneath it.
Jonathan Crane smelled no trace of fear from the teenager, he detected a profund... despair.
That child felt at a loss, he didn't know how to find his way back.
"Why are you here?", the psychiatrist in him inquired.
Jason looked down. How could he justify his presence in the doctor's hideout? He heard about this apartment being one Scarecrow uses, he... didn't thought it through before coming. Now it's a bit late to reflection over what lie to phrase.
"Who punched you?", the professor rectified his approach upon getting the kid won't respond.
"Doesn't matter."
"It does. You had a fight with Batman?"
"How would ya know 'bout dat?"
"Teenage boys who live to make their dad proud of them and feel lost when they don't obtain the acknowledgement they seek for is a common trope. I am a licensed psychiatrist."
Jason sneered at this.
Bruce Wayne's best friend, one of Batman's closest allies, Harvey Dent, turned rogue after the assault directed against him during a trial. He became Two-Face over a month ago, yet Bruce felt just as angry and defeated as on the first day.
He barely ate or slept, became more and more violent with criminals, almost beat up to death the leader of the group who planned Dent's attack.
Not that Jason minded, he understood his mentor's legitimate ire. Hell, he felt affected as well, Bruce and Harvey went way back together, the lawyer regularly visited at the Manor, he was there at every Thanksgiving and spoiled Jason at each birthday. He was a friend, a fighter for justice and a good person.
Nobody would have predicted what he became.
"Heya Birdie.", Riddler who suddenly entered the flat, greeted him. "Case or information? I must warn you, I intend to have dinner in good company, not go out chase after ghosts. Yes, Jon.", he anticipated the doctor's question. "You are the 'good company'."
Jonathan looked content. He even addressed the redhead a... semblance of smile.
Jason frowned.
"What are ya doin' at Scarecrow's place with... groceries?"
"Filling the fridge, obviously.", Edward smiled, going on with the routine in the American kitchen as if that was... normal. "Question is, what are you doing here if you didn't expect to find me?"
He turned back to the two others.
"Jon, if you have a secret arrangement with Robin, that's the moment to confess."
"I already highly disapprove of yours.", the teacher snorted. "It's not to set up one myself."
"I wanted ta talk to someone who woul' understand.", Jay heard himself say as if a stranger spoke the words.
He couldn't... explain why.
"I am a psychiatrist.", Jonathan comforted him. "I can understand anything."
Jason nodded. That is what he had in mind too.
"Do I really have to leave?!", Edward exclaimed when Jon expressed he wanted privacy to begin his consultation.
"You can wait in the bedroom."
"What a gentleman. At least say this looking a little more into the request."
Then Riddler... kissed the older man. Scarecrow tenderly returned the delicate attention; they parted and shared a fond, enamored glance before Eddie winked at Jason as he disappeared in the bedroom.
"... You guys are datin'."
"What gave you a clue?"
Jason blinked.
"Dat's... okay, that was weird."
Jonathan brushed the subject off with a wave of his hand, then gestured to the nearest armchair for Robin to sit.
"It's new.", Jon informed him. "Not that we haven't mused over the possibility of a relationship before, but the concretized part is more recent."
"... By concretized part, ya mean saying 'I love you' or sex?"
"No mushy 'I love you' confessions.", he rejected. "None I plan to say. As for sex, it's an entertaining activity in which Edward is particularly proficient, I associate this with his young age and his... very open attitude, with lots of men he met left and right. Him sharing his talents doesn't imply being in a relationship, we practiced long before dating."
Jason wasn't... totally blushing at Jon's clinical analysis of his own sex life and his partner's... admittedly whorish habits. Nope. Definitely not. Or... was he?
"Now, Boy Wonder. Why did Batman punch you?"
Robin relaxed. Crane remains a professional. Plus he didn't want a therapy session, just... a few answers. He figured a former psychiatrist could provide some.
"We had a fight. 'Bout... somebody dat we used to know."
"Harvey Dent?"
"How did ya..."
"News diffuse fast in the Underworld, even faster they reach the Riddler's ears. He follows closely what happens to the Bat's allies. Dent's... accident, his villain coming out, made a lot of noise. Tell me why you are angry at Batman for reacting as strongly as he did."
"... I'm angry 'cause I know he wouldn't do da same for me. He almost killed Dent's attackers. Hell, I stopped him from choking ta death the one who threw acid on his face! He'd never been like dat. Never went so mad, never... hit me when I tried ta make him realize he's pushin' it too far."
Jonathan listened, then he decrypted the Bat's reactions and gave his opinion on what is about to come and how Jason should behave to avoid a clash all the while defending his point. If Riddler spied from the other end of the flat, he didn't comment or intervene.
When a relieved Robin thought it's time for him to go, Edward reappeared and invited:
"Do you want to join for dinner?"
Jason nodded wordlessly.
He left very late in the night, a smile printed on his lips. He granted them a quick nod to punctuate his departure; this may wasn't quite a 'thank you', this is the closest he could show.
He was grateful for the, he recognized, lovely evening. Who would have bet Riddler and Scarecrow are such great hosts when they want to?
_____
Jason is no longer Robin.
Robin died.
Jay isn't sure what broke its coffin with its bare hands, walked out of the cemetery where Jason Peter Todd, Robin, had been buried.
The delirious thing that resurrected was not Jason or Robin. The empty shell Talia al Ghul crossed paths with wasn't even able to speak. The limp body she drugged to drag him to her father's castle could by no means be called a human being.
Months elapsed since his first bath in the Lazarus pit, what slowly but surely assembled the shattered pieces of his mind. He swam multiple times in the magical bubble bath. For weeks, he immersed every day.
He was better now.
Built back together.
Stronger physically speaking, optimized: his body is more agile and robust than it had ever been.
Yet he never felt so broken inside.
"Robin, I have a mission for you."
"Jason.", he rectified flatly. "My name is Jason."
Ra's al Ghul pretended he didn't hear. Whereas the League of Shadows knows his identity, Ra's keeps calling him Robin. At first Jay didn't object, he sorta liked it: it made him feel like... he didn't lose completely who he used to be.
Now he realized he had. He lost his past. And lying to himself only made things harder.
"If I take Robin out of me, I am... no one."
An interesting discovery, is that the Lazarus pit changed two traits: a white strand appeared on the front of his black hair, and the pit... transformed his thick suburb accent. Like, it disappeared. Sometimes he put an 'a' in place of an 'ou' and tended to eat the 'g' still. This occurred less and less though, as if his childhood and teenage years accent died with the sixteen years old boy beaten up by the Joker.
At some point he wondered if he would have lost it naturally when becoming an adult, if the pit merely accelerated the process.
"You are Jason Todd.", Talia comforted, they were currently alone together.
"Jason Todd is dead. He has a grave attesting this in a poisoned town on the other side of the Earth."
The break from Gotham City had been... essential.
He won't come back. He never wanted to see these sad, depressing buildings again.
"He has been given a second chance.", the assassin opposed, sipping her wine. "While whoever you used to be is dead, you get a shot to start anew. See it like I do: you will be better."
Talia respected this wish: she called him by his name. Why couldn't the older mercenary do the same?
Talking about the al Ghul lineage, there is another person who never missed an opportunity to compliment him.
Like when Jay came back from a weeks-long mission. He was about to say 'hi' when he met the little boy in a corridor, he got greeted by a laconic:
"You look hideous, Todd."
"Glad to hear that..."
What to do with this demon spawn, he wondered.
Bruce and Talia's offspring.
No doubt, this will be chaos when that kid reaches his tenth birthday, the age his mother and him settled for to let him go to Gotham meet his father.
Jason wasn't even curious to see that happen.
He just... didn't care anymore, about anything. Even less about anything Gotham-related.
In another life, if being Robin ever gave him powers, then at present, in his reality, the magic is long gone.
_____
Jason was in pain.
In a... great, big amount of pain. Lying half-dead on the rooftop, he watched the sky. Too many dark clouds obstructed the view, he couldn't discern the stars.
Too dense is the veil in front of his eyes, too.
The beating wasn't fatal. Bruce wouldn't have deliberately killed him, he... well, maybe the thought crossed his mind.
They met a couple of times.
By 'met' Jason should rather say 'fought', that would highlight more accurately their interactions.
And now... they took it too far.
On both sides.
The unique moment Jason saw Bruce that mad is during the days, weeks even, post-Harvey Dent's attack and the birth of Two-Face.
Had he been that angry after his death?
Hard to tell: proof is the Joker is still alive. Despite the fact the man murdered him, shot Barbara... Jason had been so angry when he learned what happened to the former Batgirl whilst he was away. Despite all the persons he slaughtered, directly or indirectly. All the pain he caused. All the... damages.
"Hey, Hoodie?"
Jason startled.
How come he didn't notice... Harley Quinn silently landing on his rooftop. She kept a prudent distance, watching him with curiosity mixed with a slight... was that compassion?
"Fuck off!", he spat in her direction. "Get out of here."
"Don't start bein' a brat.", she shook her head. "Eddie has bunch of cameras everywhere in da city watchin' over. Most of da time they aren't too useful, but tonigh' he caught Batsy and ya fightin'."
Jason eyed her with disbelief.
"So what? Why did you come? To make fun of me?!"
"... No. 'Course no. Ya need to be treated. It's a severe beatin' ya got there."
"Leave me alone."
He retreated on the rooftop. He didn't want help, didn't want their help. The rogues'. He had nothing to tell them.
"Ah, Hoodie. Why do ya have to make it complicated?"
In his state, Jason couldn't fight properly: when Harley ran closer with the firm intention to knock him out, he wasn't able to resist.
Next part was... peculiar.
For days, he saw just a few of them. Scarecrow. Freeze. Catwoman. Penguin. Two-Face. Ivy. Harley Quinn. Riddler more regularly than the others. Eddie apparently 'met someone' recently, he promised to introduce Jay to the girl he renamed his 'beloved partner in crime'. Red Hood couldn't suspect Ed non-officially adopted / played caring big brother, devoted mentor and supportive best buddy with a pre-teen girl going by Spoiler in the heroes-and-vilains sphere. Edward, Jonathan and... most of the Rogues Gallery, look out for Stephanie ever since Eddie bonded with her and told everyone he considers her his daughter of heart.
Given their temper, their drive and who they get along with, for sure Jason Todd and Stephanie Brown could become best of friends in near future. Eddie will be pleased to build a trio of happy little mischief makers with those two... once Jay will feel better and recover, of course.
Jason didn't ask. He lodges at the Iceberg Lounge in a guest suite, where he had been treated. Cobblepot assured he could stay as long as he needed to, he won't cast him out. Turned out not only the villains took good care of his recovery, they also had him... distracted. They kept him abreast of news in the Underworld, criticized everything about the Joker and Batman's questionable choice to take a new Robin after him (they called this third sidekick 'the Replacement' and some, mainly Riddler, hated him, what amused Jason dearly), played chess with him, made stupid yet hilarious jokes, chatted animatedly... they were such a pleasant company.
Of course the Rogues Gallery deduced he used to be the Second Robin, Red Hood was around for months, they had time to make the link.
Yet it didn't explain why they are... so nice.
So... caring.
"Why are you like this?", Jason asked one evening.
The main rogues were present, at least the ones he bonded with.
He pondered over explanations to justify their demeanor long enough, now he... wanted to inquire out loud.
"It's normal, Boy Wonder.", Pamela stated, addressing him a protective glance. "In our way, we... always knew you are one of us."
Edward winked at him. The others smiled or... seemed appreciative.
An odd warmth blossomed in Jason's chest. It almost gave him the urge to... cry.
He took a few breaths to calm himself down.
Those lovely idiots made him feel alive again.
He had no idea how they achieved the prowess, but they made him feel like he belonged. And right now, that is everything he needed not to lose his mind.
Or rather... to lose it here, in the righteous side of the dark side.
Red Hood acknowledged them with a grateful nod. This time he didn't hesitate as he whispered a heartfelt:
"Thank you."