Chapter Text
Present Day, 2016
Kageyama really thought he already moved on from his stupid crush on his stupid senpai, Oikawa Tooru. Really. He’s not the naïve Tobio from junior high who watched Oikawa with eyes full of admiration even when Oikawa was unkind to him. He’s also not the same “Oikawa-san’s junior” who would feel intimidated by Oikawa on and off the court because he thought highly of him more than anyone else, more than any other strong players he had played against. And most importantly, he’s not the same gullible kid who believed the kiss that he shared with Oikawa during the last spring at the end of his first year in high school was something special for both of them.
The first time Kageyama Tobio got his heart broken because of love was on the very next day after he experienced his first kiss. Stupid Tobio. He could definitely hear Oikawa’s condescending voice echoed loudly in his mind when he saw him kissing another girl on the same spot Oikawa made the similar move on him yesterday.
Although this time Oikawa’s eyes were not closed, but looking straight at where Tobio was standing. It was the similar glare he gave Tobio on the court. A challenge to prove that whatever happens between them, Oikawa would always still have the upper hand on their twisted relationship.
Surprisingly, Kageyama didn’t cry. His heart ached but he guessed deep down, he knew this would always be the outcome.
If he really used his one brain-cell, the kiss, everything that happened that day didn’t really make sense anyway. Oikawa hates him, can’t stand him and never hides his contempt for Tobio.
Kageyama Tobio is a persistent guy but that day he realized whatever feelings he held for Oikawa Tooru were something he should let go.
“No one understands what is and is not important to you better than you do”.
He remembered Kazuyo-san’s advice to Miwa long time ago and decided to walk away from Oikawa and the spot that should have been memorable place for him.
The first few steps were heavy but as Kageyama thought of his destination, the Karasuno’s gym where the volleyball practice took place with a group of people who wanted him, for a brief moment, his heart was at peace.
Since then, Oikawa was just his senpai from junior high that he drew the inspiration for his serve from. There are times when the thought of Oikawa and the kiss fleeting through his mind, but fortunately he finds a way to bury them just as fast.
Time flies and now that he is a pro volleyball player and representative of Japan Men Volleyball Team, Kageyama is swamped with training, matches, social gatherings and other activities that occupied his mind and time until there’s no more space to daydream about the past.
Well, of course until Hinata sends him a selfie with Oikawa from Brazil. Sometimes, Kageyama really doesn’t know how to describe Hinata’s existence in his life as blessing or curse.
Really the last thing that he wants to see after an eventful, hard day at the Olympic training camp is a picture of Oikawa Tooru with his tongue out, mocking him just like the old days.
Kageyama Tobio really thought he already moved on from the stupid crush he had on his stupid senpai Oikawa Tooru…but if he has, why would his heart feel miserable knowing Oikawa and Hinata are having good time together, something that he hardly experience with Oikawa. Kageyama let out a sigh that caught the attention of his teammate, Ushijima.
“Tobio, you alright? Don’t push youself too hard okay?”, the Japan’s ace asks him looking concern.
When he received the Brazil selfie, Kageyama’s hand unconsciously reached out for Ushijima to show him that picture too. He honestly doesn’t know why he did that.
Maybe, just maybe, he thought Ushijima would feel the same ache in his heart but from the confused look on his face (which he would find funny in different circumstance), it finally hit Kageyama that being jealous about this selfie is not a normal reaction.
Even though Ushijima had strong feelings to Oikawa back in high school, it doesn’t mean he is obsessed with him. Not everyone is like you. Stupid Tobio. The voice is back and loud than ever ringing in his ears.
“Tobio?”, Ushijima calls out again when the setter doesn’t respond to him.
“Kageyama Tobio?”, He tap Kageyama’s back just enough to bring him back to reality.
“Oh..Ushijima-san? Do you need something from me?”, the setter asks with a dumbfounded look on his face.
Ushijima Wakatoshi is not one to pry on other people private life if it’s not related to volleyball and the team, but he has been looking out for Kageyama since the very first day he joined Schweiden Adlers.
He still remembers how Kageyama’s family was worried about him living alone in a new environment when they came over to discuss the contract with the team as their son could be quite clueless.
Ushijima, who happened to listen to the discussion, volunteered to look after him and even invite Kageyama to stay with him much to everyone’s surprise especially the person in question.
At that time, he thought it was a logical decision to take considering they would spend lots of time together, not just in Adlers but also in the national team as Kageyama’s starting spot was pretty much guaranteed after his sensational performance in the 2015 Spring Interhigh and Under-19 Japan Men Volleyball Team.
It has been about a year since they began to live together. It was awkward at first considering the hostile interactions they had in the past but as time went by, they started to find many similarities between them and grew closer enough to talk about stuffs that not related to volleyball.
This is the first time Ushijima sees his setter looking out of the space after training ended. The usual Kageyama will either use this spare time writing on his volleyball journal or filling his stomach with carb and protein to recover his tired muscles before going home especially since the setter is the one who taught him the importance of personal maintenance in order to keep their mind focus and body fit after the intense training.
Kageyama was doing really well during the practice too so why the sudden changes in mood? Ushijima tries to think what could have upset his setter, when he suddenly remembers the selfie that Kageyama showed him earlier.
“So, what do you reply to Shouyo Hinata?”, Ushijima pries.
“Huh?”. The sudden interest caught Kageyama off guard.
“Ahh..nothing. I just sent why to him. Can’t believe how of all places, they coincidentally met each other there”, Kageyama tries to sound nonchalant but his heart is bleeding with the word coincidence.
After all, he met Oikawa by chance too during the last spring of his first year in high school when they shared a kis…
Okay. Stop. Don’t go there.
Ushijima notices the changes in expressions on Kageyama’s face and decides to not probe him any longer when Kageyama obviously doesn’t want to talk about that.
“Alright then, do you want to have dinner together before going back home? Kiyoomi would be there too if you don’t mind”, Ushijima invites Tobio hoping that a nice dinner would make him feels better.
“Oh sorry,Ushijima-san. I already promised to meet up with my sister after this”, Tobio lies despite being a bad liar.
He just doesn’t want to be around other people right now.
Ushijima recognizes the face Tobio’s making and the uncertainty in his voice but he chooses to give him some space. For now.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about that, Tobio. Just make sure you have a good dinner okay”, Ushijima assures him while petting his head gently.
The warmth from Ushijima’s hand is comforting but it’s not sufficient to quell the roaring emotions inside him right now. He averts his eyes from looking at Ushijima. The guilt is eating him from the inside.
He knows the ace is worried about him but instead of being grateful for that, Tobio keeps agonizing over this stupid stuff instead. About stupid Oikawa Tooru who is probably having a lot of fun with Hinata right now. Stupid Tobio.
After Ushijima left, Tobio quickly pull out his phone and frantically search for that person’s name in his contact, the only person that can give him the warmth he desires to bury these feelings again.
Miya Atsumu.