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Zhao Yunlan wasn’t one to believe in fate. If you asked him, all things in life, no matter how unlikely and contrived they may have seemed, had to have a perfectly logical explanation behind them, and most of them were the works of human beings, as well as the results of their actions. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in the gods—as the Guardian of this world, he knew for a fact that they had been involved in the creation of the universe as he knew it, and that like spirit beasts and ghosts, they too continued to roam the earth in various forms. But while he was aware of the gods’ existence, it wasn’t like he was afraid of being struck down by a lightning bolt of heavenly judgment, so to speak.
Which was why this situation that he found himself in had him so perplexed.
Why had Shen Wei suddenly made his appearance in his life? Why was it that, now that Zhao Yunlan had met him, he seemed to stumble upon him wherever he went? Alright—so he might have something to do with that, hellbent as he was on making the Professor his, but it was still mildly disconcerting when he stopped to think about it.
Zhao Yunlan had a sense that Shen Wei had a bigger role to play in his life than that of a simple bystander.
Earlier, when he had gone out for a late-night dinner, which was really lunch for him after that mouldy leftover piece of bread that he had had hours ago, Zhao Yunlan had met Shen Wei on the street—once again, it seemed, by chance—and he had seized the opportunity to move up their date planned for the following day. Despite the annoying stomach ache that he had given himself—hello, old friend—by gobbling up his meal like the pig that he was, Zhao Yunlan had thought he was doing pretty well: he had managed to get Shen Wei into his apartment, and to hell if he was about to let this occasion pass him by. As soon as he had set foot inside, Zhao Yunlan had taken out the heavy artillery and thrown all his charm and tricks at Shen Wei, but it was like his allusions had fallen on deaf ears, and Shen Wei had taken none of his baits. Worse still, Zhao Yunlan had managed to drive him away, much to his regret.
Maybe Zhao Yunlan needed to rethink his courting methods.
Fortunately, Shen Wei had come back the following morning, reminding him of what was at stake, and his presence only had sufficed to chase away the remnants of last night’s unease. Now that Shen Wei had returned, Zhao Yunlan did not intend to let him run off again so easily. He would be firm, but he would take things slow, and bide his time.
“Just pick what you like! I’ll go make some popcorn.” Zhao Yunlan told Shen Wei with a smile, nodding at the pile of DVDs sitting in front of them before heading off towards the kitchen without waiting for an answer, yet Shen Wei’s agonized look was not lost on him. Shen Wei would probably disapprove, saying that the snack was bound to ruin his appetite—not to mention that they had just eaten and the stuff was greasy as hell, as Zhao Yunlan’s stomach was likely to remind him later—but it was part of the experience, and he wanted Shen Wei to feel at home, and safe to be himself around Zhao Yunlan. He wanted to make him trust him.
Maybe their fingers would graze as they both reached for the bowl or something...
It was worth a try. At this point, he was up for anything, really. Zhao Yunlan was that desperate.
Whistling to himself, Zhao Yunlan opened the door to the cupboard and shuffled through its barely existent contents, moving around tins and boxes that probably went back to the prehistoric age, but that he couldn’t bring himself to get rid of. After all, his mother had always told him not to waste food and—who was he kidding, he was just too lazy to throw it out. Once he found what he was looking for, he put the bag of popcorn in the microwave without giving more than a second’s thought to its edibility. According to the date on the package, it was fine, probably. As he waited for the small appliance to do its magic, he set out to prepare some tea, not wanting to push his luck by offering Shen Wei some cola. He didn’t think the carbonated drink would cater to the Professor’s refined palate.
While the water was heating, Zhao Yunlan’s mind returned to its previous musings.
Well, he couldn’t deny it: none of his previous lovers had sparked his interest quite like Shen Wei had, and maybe the fact that he wasn’t laying himself bare for others to see made Zhao Yunlan all the more intent on uncovering every single thing there was to find about him, and remove his reserves bit by bit to reveal the man beneath.
Although, that was going to prove harder than he had first anticipated. Despite the fact that Shen Wei was very obviously as invested in Zhao Yunlan as Zhao Yunlan was invested in him—that much was clear as day—something was holding him back. Zhao Yunlan couldn’t help but wonder what was staying his heart. Had someone hurt Shen Wei in an irreparable way before? Who on Earth could be so cruel? Zhao Yunlan wanted to find whoever was responsible for Shen Wei’s insecurities and punch them in the teeth. But since that wasn’t an option now, he could at least try to convince Shen Wei to set aside his doubts and open his heart to him. Because…
For once, Zhao Yunlan was willing to move mountains to be with someone, and if he was anything, it was stubborn.
And Shen Wei… Well, Shen Wei was worth all the trouble in the world.
Also, something smelled burnt.
Zhao Yunlan was violently pulled back to reality by the shrill sound of the kettle, which he hurried to take off the stove, burning himself in the process, very nearly dropping the recipient and spilling boiling water everywhere. Getting third-degree burns all over his body was definitely not part of Zhao Yunlan’s plan to seduce Shen Wei. “Fuck.” Zhao Yunlan cursed under his breath, setting down the kettle and going to retrieve the popcorn from the microwave. He swore again, before opening the fuming bag gingerly and inspecting its contents.
Looks salvageable. He thought carelessly with a sigh.
“Zhao Yunlan? Are you alright?” Shen Wei popped his head inside the kitchen, looking deeply concerned.
Zhao Yunlan felt his heart stir, growing warm and fuzzy at the attention.
“I just… overcooked it a bit. It’s fine!” He reassured Shen Wei with a grin and a dismissive wave of his hand. “Help me bring the tea over to the living room? I’ll be done in a minute.”
Shen Wei nodded once, glancing hesitantly at the dangerous-looking, ticking bomb-like package in his hands like he wanted to say something, ultimately deciding against it.
Silently, he grabbed the tray that Zhao Yunlan had prepared and left the room.
Zhao Yunlan heaved out a sigh.
What was going on with him? Maybe the medicine’s effect hadn’t worn off yet? He was so out of it today…
Well, all the more reason to forget about those theater tickets and stay in. Zhao Yunlan’s dating days were long past, and he felt too old for this game. Now that he had met Shen Wei, all he wanted to do was curl up with him in front of an old classic horror movie, whispering sweet nothings to each other in the dark. Although he supposed the cuddling part was probably not on the menu for today, but one could hope. Speaking of which...
“Zhao Yunlan? Is something wrong?”
“Ah… Coming, coming!” Zhao Yunlan hurried to say, grabbing the bowl of popcorn and, after making sure that the stove was off and he wasn’t going to burn his house down, made his way over to the couch, where he found Shen Wei crouching in front of this TV set and frowning at his DVD player like a character in a game faced with the final boss, beaten to an inch of its health points. Setting the bowl down, Zhao Yunlan made his way over to Shen Wei and bent down next to him, venturing a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
Shen Wei, who sat stiffly with a distraught expression, turned to face him. “...I couldn’t get it to work.” Shen Wei said miserably. “Perhaps it’s broken?”
Zhao Yunlan gushed inwardly at the endearing sight. How could he not want to kiss this man silly?
“It’s upside down. Don’t worry, I get confused too.” He lied benignly, not wanting the professor to feel embarrassed.
“... Sorry.” Shen Wei blinked a few times as a slight flush came over his face. “I’m… not very good with these things. My assistant usually handles anything remotely related to technology.”
“That’s fine, I’ll show you. So, what are you in the mood for? Any preferences in genre?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve never really watched a movie before.”
“Is that so...? Well, we have to do something about that, don’t we?” Zhao Yunlan announced cheerfully, trying to get Shen Wei to relax—which seemed to work, if Shen Wei’s shy smile was any indication. Zhao Yunlan felt his heart leap. Encouraged, he reached for a box at random among the pile and put the movie on. “Alright, so I’m a fan of horror movies myself, but let me know if it’s too scary and we’ll choose something else, okay?”
“Alright.”
The two of them retreated to the couch, where Zhao Yunlan proceeded to make himself comfortable, sinking deeply into the soft pillows and putting his feet up on the coffee table. After throwing a sidelong look at Shen Wei, Zhao Yunlan caught the disapproving expression that Shen Wei tried hard to hide but that was written all over his face, and brought his feet back to the ground, resolving that he should probably avoid doing things that displeased Shen Wei. He made an effort to sit up a bit more straight and proper, slightly lessening his seemingly permanent slouch.
“You don’t have to be so tense, Professor. I’m not gonna do anything to you.” Zhao Yunlan told Shen Wei cheerfully as the music started and the opening credits rolled in, trying to lighten the atmosphere with a joke.
Shen Wei blushed a darker shade of red, not saying anything in reply, but he seemed to loosen up a bit at the words.
Content, Zhao Yunlan returned his attention to the screen, reaching for the bowl of popcorn. However, his face fell instantly as the gesture sent a wave of pain across his burned hand.
Fuck, it hurts like a bitch… He thought, biting back the colorful language that threatened to leave his mouth.
“...ow”, was all he managed to utter with gritted teeth.
At the sound, Shen Wei reached out to grab his hand and examine it, cradling it in his own like it was the most precious treasure that he had ever set his eyes on. “Zhao Yunlan… You’re hurt...” Shen Wei pointed out mournfully, as if his hand had been entirely chopped off of his arm—which it really wasn’t—before bringing it up to his lips in an almost reverent manner and blowing gently on his scalded fingers. Mesmerized, Zhao Yunlan held his breath, painstakingly fighting his instincts which told him to pounce on Shen Wei as if his life depended on it.
Dammit. He had promised himself he would wait, and so wait he would.
“It feels much better now, thanks.” Zhao Yunlan said before retrieving his hand quickly. “...Erm. Popcorn?”
“That doesn’t look very healthy.” Shen Wei surmised, reaching for the bowl warily.
“Actually, you’re not wrong…” Zhao Yunlan admitted, before putting on his most disarming smile. “But it’s really good! Try it for me, just this once?” Zhao Yunlan knew it must be wrong of him to ask Shen Wei to do something for his sake, as the other would most likely not be able to say no to him, but it was all part of his strategy to get to know him better and earn his trust. Maybe if they did ordinary, ‘couply’ things together, Shen Wei would warm up to him and—wow, okay, couply things, that’s a very dangerous path to go down, back up Zhao Yunlan, beep beep.
Forcing his mind back to the present, Zhao Yunlan found Shen Wei gazing at him fondly, with a tiny, infinitesimal spark of amusement in his eyes. “It’s... not bad, once you get used to the burnt aftertaste.”
Zhao Yunlan laughed heartily at that, beaming at the joke. The professor had a sense of humor after all! “Yeah, it’s not supposed to taste like that.” Zhao Yunlan admitted sheepishly, before throwing another handful in his mouth.
What? It tasted fine to him.
They had missed the first few scenes, but it wasn’t like Zhao Yunlan cared much. After all, this whole setup was just an excuse to keep Shen Wei around so he could spend as much time with him as possible.
The minutes rolled by and Shen Wei became more and more engrossed in the story, but Zhao Yunlan couldn’t bring himself to focus on the film. On the one hand, he was starting to feel cold due to his own immobility and the absence of a living being pressed close next to him to share body temperature with. Where was that stupid dead cat when he needed him… On the other hand, Shen Wei’s current, highly-focused state allowed Zhao Yunlan to put him under closer scrutiny, and as much as he wanted to be good, Zhao Yunlan couldn’t bring himself to look away. There were so many things about Shen Wei that he was dying to find out about...
Like that necklace. What was up with that?
It looked ordinary enough, but Shen Wei seemed to value it more than his own life, and Zhao Yunlan had never seen him take it off. Even in the dim light of the afternoon, it had a peculiar glow: maybe it was powered by solar energy? Would it be warm if he touched it? What about the skin of Shen Wei’s neck underneath—
Zhao Yunlan shivered, which didn’t go unnoticed by Shen Wei.
“Are you cold?” Shen Wei asked—a rhetorical question, because it was obvious that he was, by the way he was hugging his body and trying to become one with his couch, melding into the very first human-furniture species to ever exist. Shen Wei stood up from his seat and disappeared into his bedroom. Zhao Yunlan had half a thought to follow him, but then he remembered his promise to himself, and so he paused the movie and waited patiently until Shen Wei returned with a wool blanket—Zhao Yunlan suspected that he had folded it before bringing it over, because that definitely wasn’t his own work—draping it over Zhao Yunlan’s lap—and gods, Zhao Yunlan would much rather have had something else draped over his lap, or rather, someone—but. He. Had. To. Be. Good.
“So… Do you wanna share?” He asked Shen Wei, plastering on his most lamb-like, I-don’t-mean-anything-else-by-that expression, which he would be the first one to admit was really that of a wolf-in-a-sheep’s-skin.
Shen Wei never seemed to be cold, and yet he accepted reluctantly, reaching for one side of the blanket and pulling it over his legs while scooting a little closer to him on the sofa, and wow, were they actually making progress?
But Zhao Yunlan had an even bigger problem now.
He wasn’t cold anymore, but Shen Wei was sitting inches away, so close he could have reached out and touched him.
Hyper-aware of the electricity crackling in the space between Shen Wei and him, Zhao Yunlan made a last desperate attempt to focus on the sizeable screen of his impressive home theater system, diving into the bowl of popcorn to divert his attention from the extremely attractive man occupying the seat next to his. So focused and dead set was he on ignoring the gorgeous being sitting close by that, when the actress in the movie suddenly screamed bloody murder at a much higher volume than he remembered setting the volume, Zhao Yunlan very nearly jumped out of his skin and threw the entire bowl of popcorn all over his hardwood floor, which had been recently polished by Shen Wei.
“Where’s that cursed—” Zhao Yunlan started, before catching sight of a very distressed Shen Wei plugging his ears in an attempt to block out the escalating string of screeches and stabbing sounds. Shen Wei looked at him inquiringly.
“Professor Shen! Have you seen the remote controller!” Zhao Yunlan yelled over the horrific orchestra of massacre, forming a shape with his hands when the question marks in Shen Wei’s eyes told him that he clearly did not know what that was. “The little rectangular thingy that… that… ah, found it!” Zhao Yunlan brandished the said object which he had been sitting on, hastening to lower the volume and pause the damn thing while he was at it. Good grief.
Zhao Yunlan exhaled a breath of relief at the sudden blessed silence, turning to face Shen Wei.
The two looked at each other for a second, then burst out laughing.
Smiling softly as Zhao Yunlan wiped at his eyes—his stomach hurt again, but it was the good kind of ache—Shen Wei made to extricate himself from under the blanket and stand up from his seat. “I’ll clean it up—”
“No!” Zhao Yunlan protested, grabbing his shoulder and making him sit back down. “Leave it. Stay here with me.”
Shen Wei flinched a little at the touch, but did as Zhao Yunlan told him.
He was silent for a beat, then said: “I really should—”
“...Stay.” Zhao Yunlan repeated adamantly, burying himself deeper under the warm blanket and snuggling tentatively against Shen Wei’s thigh, who tensed up a little at the contact. “I haven’t really been paying attention to the movie.”
“Me neither.” Shen Wei confessed, a bit guiltily.
Zhao Yunlan glanced at him with an amused look, feeling strangely satisfied at the sudden honesty. “Let’s just forget about it then. It’s not really that great a movie, if you ask me. No one will know.” He added, grinning at Shen Wei conspiratorially, and was pleasantly surprised when Shen Wei rewarded him with a coy smile. Zhao Yunlan reached for a cushion lying forgotten to the side and placed it behind his head, closing his eyes. “I’m tired. Nap with me.”
Shen Wei said nothing, but did not go anywhere.
Perhaps it was the effects of the medicine he had taken earlier, or the drowsiness induced by the movie, or maybe it was the exhaustion from laughing so hard with Shen Wei, or better yet, the accumulation of sleepless nights of late, but Zhao Yunlan quite literally passed out on the spot, only waking up hours later when the sun had already sunk below the horizon. When Zhao Yunlan finally came to, the room was dark except for the blueish light emanating from his television’s screensaver, and he was wrapped inside a cocoon of warmth radiating from his body, with the blanket tucked under his chin and Shen Wei’s face hovering in front of his, the tips of his cool fingers frozen on Zhao Yunlan’s temple as if he had just been brushing his hair away tenderly.
Zhao Yunlan’s heart ached terribly in his chest.
Suddenly, he was overcome by a violent, visceral desire to grab Shen Wei’s face in his hands and close the distance separating their mouths. But while the temptation was huge, there was too much to lose, so he resisted the urge.
Seconds became minutes which turned into hours as Zhao Yunlan’s heart continued pounding relentlessly in his ears.
Then, Shen Wei pulled back regretfully, looking away.
Zhao Yunlan swallowed with difficulty, his mouth dry. “You’re leaving already?”
“It’s quite late, actually… I should get going.”
“Oh, okay.” It was hard to hide the disappointment he felt, but Shen Wei’s unease was palpable, and Zhao Yunlan may have been a total jerk, but he wasn’t the type to force anyone, much less someone like Shen Wei. This precarious equilibrium between them was like a house of cards. Zhao Yunlan was afraid that if he moved just a hair, everything would collapse, and Shen Wei would vanish from his life forever. He knew that if that were to happen, he would not get a chance like this again. Nobody else compared to Shen Wei—Zhao Yunlan was sure of it.
Zhao Yunlan was by no means a patient man, but he was willing to give Shen Wei all the time he needed.
After all, slow and steady won the race.
Picking himself up from the couch, Zhao Yunlan accompanied Shen Wei to the door, leaning against the wooden frame with his arms crossed against his chest.
“I’ll see you around?” Zhao Yunlan offered tentatively, and Shen Wei met his question with a smile.
No words were needed. The answer was clear.
After Shen Wei was gone, Zhao Yunlan trodded back to the couch, noticing that the popcorn kernels that he had sent flying all over the floor had been cleaned up by Shen Wei. Plopping down on the soft cushion, he stayed there unmoving, staring at a spot on the door behind which Shen Wei had just disappeared. He was suddenly reminded that he hadn’t had a smoke since the previous day, and so he reached for the package on the coffee table out of habit, hesitated for a second, then put it back, finding that he didn’t crave the taste of cigarettes so much right now.
For some reason, he felt satisfied already.