Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Okay here's a key to be used for the other chapters :)

Peter: yEET
Loki: Snow Queen - Magical Thot
Thor: Thunder Thot
MJ: Bad Bitch
Ned: Fanboy
Tony: Tin Can
Bucky: Raccoon
Clint: Eye Hawk
Natasha: Spy Check
Scott: Shrinky
Bruce: Science Bro
Sam: Birdman
Steve: Capsicle

Chapter Text

*Peter has entered the chat*

*Peter has added MJ, Ned, Tony, Natasha, Bucky, and Sam to the chat*

*Peter has named the chat Quarantine Check*

Peter: What’s up fuckers

MJ: So our group chat wasn’t enough for you?

Peter: Well, I’m not allowed to go to the compound during quarantine so, fuck you coronavirus, and I wanna talk to my avenger friends. To be honest, I added you guys in here because I knew Ned would love it.

Ned: I’m in a group chat with actual avengers

Ned: HOLY SHIT

Tony: Why am I here

Natasha: I’d like to ask the same

Sam: Guys, feel special. This is clearly a Gen Z chat, so you’re pretty much being called young.

Tony: I- good point. I’ll stay.

Natasha: Clint won’t stop looking over my shoulder, can someone call him to a meeting or something?

Natasha: Oh he’s gone.

Natasha: Tony what did you do.

Tony: I swear I did nothing this time.

Bucky: Don’t ask me how I learned how phones work, because i don’t know either

Peter: Bucky!!!

Bucky: Hi.

Ned: Since everyone’s here, can we do names?

Tony: I have a perfectly good name thank you

Peter: No yeah Ned’s right let's do it.

*Tony’s name has been changed to Tin Can*

Tin Can: Shit

*Natasha’s name has been changed to Spy Check*

Spy Check: What does that even mean

*Bucky’s name has been changed to Raccoon*

Raccoon: Fair

*Sam’s name has been changed to Birdman*

Birdman: It’s Falcon for fuck’s sake

*Ned’s name has been changed to Fanboy*

Fanboy: True

*MJ’s name has been changed to Bad Bitch*

Bad Bitch: Amazing choice Peter

Peter: And last but not least… MJ, will you do my honors?

Bad Bitch: Of course dear friend

*Peter’s name has been changed to yEET*

yEET: Thank you

Bad Bitch: Anytime

Tin Can: What tf just happened?

Raccoon: I think we were just inducted

yEET: Yes you were

Fanboy: Be honored

yEET: So, how’s quarantine going at the compound?

Raccoon: Thor ran out of pop tarts this morning, Tony’s lab almost caught on fire and this may have suspiciously happened at the same time

Tin Can: Yeah, uh, I don’t think lightning is naturally that aggressive

Spy Check: Oh you guys should’ve seen what happened after

Tin Can: We would’ve, if the latest Iron Man suit had been fireproof!

yEET: I think that’s your problem.

Tin Can: That needed half the team to fix, yes. Anyway, what happened Nat?

Spy Check: Well, as we know, Thor’s scream was heard throughout the city. He dropped to his knees like another one of his family members died and started crying aggressively. Then he had a random fit of rage and accidentally hit his head on the table and passed out. This all happened as Loki walked down the stairs looking like a wreck, and all Loki did was roll his eyes and drag Thor up the stairs. We didn’t speak of it again once Loki came back down the stairs.

Raccoon: I’m mad I missed that show

Birdman: How much of a mess are we talking about with Loki here?

Spy Check: Like, grey sweats, big cropped t-shirt, messy bun, and like half a face mask.

Tin Can: Oh that must’ve been hilarious, I can’t believe I missed Loki not looking like he was ready to walk a red carpet

Raccoon: I know

yEET: That sounded eventful… Anyway I did five hours of schoolwork in my suit, so that was weird.

Tin Can: You want me to check it?

yEET: Yes please.

Bad Bitch: Mine too

Fanboy: Same

Tin Can: Alright I’ll give half of it to Bruce. Send me links

Spy Check: Pete, you should add Loki. Aren’t you guys close?

yEET: Yeah, but Ned’s kinda scared of him

Fanboy: I’ve thought it over, and this is my year of facing fears, so do it.

yEET: since when

Fanboy: Since now

yEET: So we’re not gonna talk about how-

Fanboy: nO

Fanboy: Just do it, it’ll be funny

yEET: Yay! Okay hold on.

*yEET has added Loki to the chat*

Birdman: Guys shut up about this morning, I don’t wanna get a dagger under my pillow tonight

Spy Check: Me neither

Loki: You realize I saw those texts right

Spy Check: Shit

Tin Can: Don’t be mad at me, I saw nothing

Loki: mhm

yEET: lOKI NEEDS A NAME

Tin Can: can I do it?

Loki: No

*Loki’s name has been changed to Elsa*

Tin Can: Too late

Elsa: I don’t approve

*Elsa’s name has been changed to Snow Queen*

Snow Queen: At least make it classy

Birdman: Wait how’d you change your own name?

Snow Queen: Magic

yEET: No, I just locked all your names except his

Snow Queen: theirs*

yEET: Oh, sorry

yEET: Also, we sTAN

Bad Bitch: Icon

Fanboy: Slay

yEET: Yassss

Snow Queen: Looks like I have an army of gays now

Snow Queen: Excellent

Tin Can: Care to explain your outfit from this morning?

Snow Queen: No. You weren’t there

Spy Check: I was

Snow Queen: No. Fuck you.

Raccoon: How’s Thor?

Snow Queen: I don’t know

Raccoon: What do you mean you don’t know

Snow Queen: He woke up and just left. I think he said he was going to get more but he hasn’t been back in like three hours. If anyone wants to start a search party please do not include me. I’m enjoying my Thor-free day.

Tin Can: You know the point of quarantine is to not leave, right?

Snow Queen: He’s Asgardian, he won’t get sick.

Birdman: What about other people?

Snow Queen: I’m sorry that they have to experience an angry Thor running through a grocery store somewhere.

yEET: Will you get sick? *insert shy face*

Snow Queen: I am Jotunn. I will not get sick. I have a better immune system than even Thor

yEET: Oh good.

Snow Queen: Wow, someone actually cares for my well being

Snow Queen: That’s a first.

yEET: Loki no

Snow Queen: Loki maybe

Raccoon: Loki yes

Snow Queen: Loki fuck you

TinCan: Found him

Snow Queen: Who?

Tin Can: God. Your brother, idiot

Snow Queen: Well, technically they are the same thing.

Snow Queen: Hver ertu að kalla hálfviti, tík?

Tin Can: que?

yEET: Uh, sorry, I don’t speak Italian

Snow Queen: I actually understood that meme

yEET: They’re learning!

Bad Bitch: A new meme lord is prospering

Fanboy: Yes

Snow Queen: I’ll claim my empire later, where’s Thor, Stark?

Tin Can: He was at a supermarket like 30 miles away. He’s back at the tower now, with like 10 boxes of pop tarts

Spy Check: Loki, don’t jump off the building. Your brother will kill Tony.

Spy Check: Loki?

yEET: Loki?!

Raccoon: Uh oh

Snow Queen: relax I’m fine

Spy Check: Thank you

Snow Queen: For what?

Tin Can: not jumping off my building?

Snow Queen: Oh, I did

yEET: wHAT?!

Bad Bitch: Someone’s got a suicidal background

Snow Queen: You have no idea

Bad Bitch: I think I relate to you a little more now

Fanboy: We’ll talk about that later. Loki, how are you alive?!

Snow Queen: I opened a portal before i hit the ground and now I’m chilling in a space pocket

Snow Queen: Or, as the vines say it, I’m just chillin in Cedar Rapids.

Birdman: How is there even reception there?

Snow Queen: There’s not, it’s called magic

Tin Can: You fell into another dimension just to get away from your brother?

Snow Queen: Precisely

yEET: Me

Bad Bitch: You don’t have any siblings?

yEET: True, but I’m definitely dramatic enough to do that

Snow Queen: You still have much to learn about the art of being an over-dramatic bitch, young one.

yEET: I learn from the best

Tin Can: Should I be worried?

Snow Queen: There is no need to worry. He’ll be faking his own death in no time.

Snow Queen: Speaking of that, I hope all of you plan to come to my weekly funeral

yEET: I’ll bring the cake

Snow Queen: yes. Also, grab some Harry Potter books while you’re at it

Snow Queen: Shit wait no, Rowling’s transphobic. Don’t do that. Grab Lord of the Rings.

yEET: Got it.

Bad Bitch: I’ve got the emo playlist

Snow Queen: You all know me so well

Tin Can: Hey guys, feel free to come to the meeting that started like a half hour ago.

Spy Check: Shit I’m coming Tony

Birdman: There was a meeting? Ok I guess

Raccoon: I’ll go, even though I’m not an avenger technically

Snow Queen: Bucky, let’s crash it.

Raccoon: Omw

yEET: Guys

yEET: I wanna come

Snow Queen: I’ll save you a complimentary cookie

yEET: Yes! You know I love those

Bad Bitch: Welp, now it’s just us three

Fanboy: My mom’s making me help make dinner, gtg

Bad Bitch: It’s 3pm?

Fanboy: I have to defrost like 3 dishes

Bad Bitch: RIP

Bad Bitch: I should probably do something too

Bad Bitch: Wanna meet me at the library Pete?

yEET: But, quarantine

yEET: Screw it I have superpowers let’s go.

Chapter Text

Snow Queen: cdsfofHEKJDEOIEKefk

yEET: Wh-

Snow Queen: fof dkdsl JIUNIU

Bad Bitch: Are you drunk? It’s only noon my dude/dudette

Tin Can: Loki? You good?

Snow Queen: HUUIsfkeer dfgerhgre8 H

Birdman: Should I get Thor?

Raccoon: Probably

Fanboy: Is your phone broken or something?

Snow Queen: Ghiuytsd ioT’s Thgore

Spy Check: Thor?

Snow Queen: yueds

Snow Queen: Muy fgionguers afre tgo bhig four tghis pkhonue

Tin Can: How did you understand that Nat?

Spy Check: It’s obviously Thor with Loki’s phone. One, he said his fingers are too big for this phone, and also Loki is sitting right next to me.

Spy Check: Hi -Loki

Raccoon: Oh that makes sense

Spy Check: Loki just left to go retrieve her phone

Spy Check: Also it’s a she day on Loki’s end so no one better misgender her

Tin Can: Wouldn’t dare

Snow Queen: Thatidiotbrokemyspacebar

Snow Queen: Holdon

yEET: You want me to fix it? Oh wait, quarantine.. You want Mr. Stark to fix it?

Snow Queen: I fixed it we’re good

Snow Queen: He’s not getting any of my brownies

Raccoon: You made brownies?

Snow Queen: No, I got a pack from the store that I was gonna share with him

Snow Queen: Not anymore

yEET: …

Snow Queen: I’ll send some to you Peter

yEET: Yay :)

Birdman: Can I add someone to the chat?

yEET: Sure

Raccoon: I mean yeah

Fanboy: Hell yeah! I want another avenger

Tin Can: So we’re not enough for you Ned?

Fanboy: No that's not what I meant! I promise!

Tin Can: I’m joking, kid

Snow Queen: If you add Thor I swear to the Norns

*Scott has been added to the chat*

yEET: Yay another bug dude!

Scott: Insect gang unite!

yEET: …

yEET: Natasha and I are arachnids

Spy Check: Oop-

Scott: Bug gang!

yEET: There you go

*Scott’s name has been changed to Squishy*

Squishy: Why

yEET: Cuz you squish down and get all small!

Squishy: I shrink, not squish tho!

yEET: Fine, if you really don’t like it…

*Squishy’s name has been changed to Shrinky*

Shrinky: At least it’s accurate *sigh*

Snow Queen: Good job Sam. Another one that’s scared of me

Shrinky: Who are you?

Snow Queen: Oh, right, weird names

Snow Queen: Here’s a hint: “An ant has no quarrel with a boot”

yEET: “aRe YoU pLaNnInG tO sTeP oN uS?”

yEET: Sorry, Fury’s not here, I had to

yEET: Please don’t add him

Shrinky: Fuck

Shrinky: … Loki?

Snow Queen: Ding ding bitch

Snow Queen: Although now the only quarrel I have is my idiotic oaf of a brother

Shrinky: We like him now?

Tin Can: :o

Birdman: :o

Raccoon: :o

Spy Check: :o

Fanboy: :o

Bad Bitch: :o

yEET: :o

Snow Queen: :o *insert knife emoji*

yEET: you DARE

yEET: Loki is my bEST FRIEND

Snow Queen: Of course we like me now

Birdman: Didn’t I tell you?

Shrinky: Tell me what?

Tin Can: Loki’s genderfluid mi amigo

Shrinky: Wait rlly?

Snow Queen: mhm

Spy Check: Did you not read my earlier texts?

Shrinky: You can do that?

Spy Check: I’ll educate you later, but Loki’s female today

Spy Check: I guess you wouldn’t know cuz you’re not here to see her form, but yeah

Snow Queen: A shame, really. I look amazing.

Tin Can: *cough* yesterday morning *cough*

Snow Queen: Okay and? That face mask did wonders for me

Snow Queen: Tell me I’m wrong

Raccoon: I mean she is right

Bad Bitch: I lowkey want one

Snow Queen: Asgardian herbs and water

Snow Queen: I gotchu MJ. Also you’re getting extra just for that pun

Bad Bitch: Yesss

Shrinky: Sorry Lo

Snow Queen: It’s fine. I’m used to it.

yEET: :(

Tin Can: Was it Asgard, childhood trauma or shit father?

Snow Queen: All three

Tin Can: Shit. Life sucks.

Snow Queen: I mean, if none of those existed, who was I supposed to piss off on a daily basis? That was my career

yEET: Thor?

Snow Queen: I couldn’t piss him off. And believe me I tried. 1) One of the most supportive and friendly people ever and 2) I could stab him and he’d think I was playing tag

Snow Queen: True story

Birdman: Aw, does someone secretly love her brother?

Snow Queen: I will kill everyone you love

Birdman:

Snow Queen: That’s what I thought

Snow Queen: Thor was the first person I told tho, and I did not choose wrong at all. That wasn’t sarcasm I promise.

yEET: Okay, this is now going to be a chat where we can tell each other stuff we’ll never say aloud. Because we all know Loki would never say that to Thor’s face.

Snow Queen: Alright fine. I don’t not like Thor

Tin Can: We’re getting there

Spy Check: Keep going

Snow Queen: I ex-hate him

Bad Bitch: Closer

Raccoon: Come on, almost there

Snow Queen: I lofe him

Spy Check: So closeee

Snow Queen: I lovfe him

Snow Queen: Ok that’s it. Enough sappy shit for today

yEET: You’ve heard it here folks, Loki lovfes her brother

Snow Queen: Oh shit-

Snow Queen: Goddamn it fuck me

Tin Can: I mean I could but like, I’m engaged

Snow Queen: Okay 1) Fuck you Stark and 2) Thor read that over my shoulder

Shrinky: Oh that’s ironic

Spy Check: RIP

Snow Queen: I’m going under my bed for eternity

Snow Queen: If you hear demonic screeching from upstairs it means Thor’s pulled me out

Tin Can: We’ll be listening

*que demonic screeching outside chat*

Raccoon: That was fast

Snow Queen: haHA

yEET: What did you do

Snow Queen: I ran out and slammed a door in his face

Birdman: Oh that was where that slam came from

Snow Queen: Hi Nat

Spy Check: You’re sitting right next to me

Snow Queen: I know

Spy Check: Did you just pull a whole outfit change? I swear you were wearing that green Asgardian dress earlier

Snow Queen: A drama queen never stays in one outfit for too long

yEET: A hOe NeVeR gEtS CoLd

yEET: Sorry that’s what you reminded me of

Snow Queen: You’re right

Snow Queen: I never get cold bitch I’m Jotunn

Shrinky: Huh?

Tin Can: you’re really not up to date are you

Shrinky: Not at all

Spy Check: And she’s blue now

Bad Bitch: She really said fuck racism

Tin Can: Wait I’ve never seen your true form before lemme see!

*Snow Queen has sent a picture*

Birdman: Wow

Tin Can: Okay Avatar

Raccoon: That’s really blue

Shrinky: Can Thor do that too?

yEET: bruh i- Loki = Jotunn/Frost Giant Thor = Asgardian Loki = Adopted by Odin

Shrinky: Oohhhh

Shrinky: That makes a lot more sense

Snow Queen: More like taken by Odin but okay

Tin Can: Do you need a hug? One bitch with daddy issues to another?

Snow Queen: I-

Raccoon: You fool you know she won’t admit it

Tin Can: Alright I’ll come to you then. Not now tho cuz I’m working on something

Spy Check: I have an idea. Let's spill some tea. Topic: Relationships. Go

Snow Queen: Oh honey. You don’t wanna hear this shitshow

yEET: Omg yes let’s do it Nat

Raccoon: I’ll start. Back in the 40s I had a girlfriend. I mean I had a few, but not at the same time *cough* Tony *cough*, anyway, my girlfriend at the time was super sweet. And then she broke up with me, but she didn’t tell me why until like two weeks later. She had came over and asked me if I’d help her and her girlfriend sneak into a movie, cuz at the time gay people weren’t allowed in certain places. So of course, I did, and Steve still doesn’t know that story

yEET: yES you said gAY RIGHTS

Tin Can: Hey! I was an asshole playboy, but I c h a n g e d. It’s called character development.

Snow Queen: Is there something I should know about Steve..?

Raccoon: No don’t worry he’s supportive, I just never told him *insert laughing emoji*

Spy Check: My turn. Shut up everyone. I accidentally slept with an enemy agent

Tin Can: I feel that

Spy Check: I was on a mission in LA and I met this dude, who seemed nice. He didn’t seem to know anything about why I was there, and he was hot so I was like “what’s one night off the job?” And then the next day I was at my stationed place, and he was there too, doing the same thing I was. Turns out, he didn’t know who I was either, and we both got in trouble. So I guess it worked *laughing emoji*

Bad Bitch: Yass

Snow Queen: I guess I’ll go

Tin Can: Loki had relationships?!

Snow Queen: Yes, dumbass. I may not have been popular as a child but I wasn’t bad looking

Snow Queen: Anyway, so, I like guys (if that wasn’t obvious), but I had a girlfriend when I was like your equivalent of twelve years old. I thought I really liked her (turns out that was me figuring out I was genderfluid and I had actually wanted to be her), and we did all the normal stuff children do with their s/o’s. We were picking flowers by a lake and when I went to give her some of my flowers she kissed me and then skipped away back to the castle. I turned and threw up in the lake. I broke up with her the next day, and I didn’t see her again until 5 years later when her family came to the palace for a party. We’re best friends now

Shrinky: Now that’s ironic

yEET: That’s the best one

Tin Can: She survived Thanos?

Snow Queen: Yes, thankfully

Spy Check: What’s her name? I might have her in the files

Snow Queen: Sigyn

Birdman: Holy shit

Snow Queen: What?

Birdman: In Norse Mythology, she’s supposed to be your wife

Snow Queen: Oh alright then *laughing emoji*

Raccoon: I mean, if we’re on Norse Mythology, is that horse thing true?

Snow Queen: Uhm…

Tin Can: HOLY SHIT A HORSE FUCKED YOU?!

Snow Queen: … yeah

Snow Queen: It was for the good of Asgard okay?!

Birdman: Story or it didn’t happen

Snow Queen: Okay really fucking long story short, Asgard needed this wall built and this builder dude(who was actually a giant) said he could do it but wanted to marry this goddess in return. Said goddess did not want to be married so I said we’d give him one season to do it, which would obviously not be enough time for one person alone to build a wall around the entire palace. But then he started actually getting close to finishing and everyone blamed me so I had to fix it. His horse, Svadilfari was the one pulling the rocks as fast as he was building, so to slow him down, the horse needed to be gone. So I turned into a mare and led the horse away. And now Odin has the fastest, strongest horse in the nine at his side. Well, of course Odin is dead, but Sleipnir still lives. So fuck you.

Tin Can: You could’ve just killed the horse tho

Snow Queen: Yeah and then that angry giant would’ve killed me. He never had his eyes off that horse.

yEET: Well that was eventful.

Bad Bitch: Was the wall finished?

Snow Queen: Oh yeah I forgot the ending. So, the builder couldn’t finish the wall and he was sent out of Asgard. The gods finished the wall, and they were fine with that cuz there was only a little bit left to build. So I come back, happy that they were able to finish the wall and prove that my plan worked, and then not even 3 years later they demolish the wall and create a magical force field. All my hard work was just thrown away.

yEET: Big oof

Spy Check: When was this?

Snow Queen: Years before Thor was banished to Midgard. Fun Fact: Sleipnir’s in the Jotunheim scene in that film you call Thor 1. I never understood why you just used his name as a title but

Raccoon: Brb gonna go watch that.

Shrinky: I’m coming hold on

Spy Check: Loki, I think you took it for best relationship story

Snow Queen: *bows*

yEET: *claps*

Bad Bitch: *claps*

Fanboy: *claps*

Tin Can: I still can’t fucking believe that

Snow Queen: Me neither

Spy Check: I don’t think you want more proof tho, Tony

Tin Can: Oh, no, I’ll just watch the movie. Guys I’m coming!

yEET: Does Thor know?

Snow Queen: Yeah. He fucking loves Sleipnir.

Spy Check: I’m not surprised

Snow Queen: You know what? Fuck Corona. Nat, wanna go get our nails done? I need a fresh coat of black

Spy Check: Bet let’s do it

yEET: Well, we’re alone now

Fanboy: Let’s just go to our group chat

Bad Bitch: yeah

yEET: Alright, to We Just Wanna Die it is

Tin Can: wHAT

Tin Can: GUYS

Chapter Text

*3 a.m.*

yEET: Help

Snow Queen: I- why are you awake

yEET: why are yOU awake

Snow Queen: Because Thor

yEET: Oh, well, touche

Snow Queen: ;-)

yEET: My Aunt is sending me to a nursing home

Snow Queen: Burn the place to the ground

Snow Queen: I did it, you’ll be fine

yEET: But the old ladies

Snow Queen: I gotchu, I’ll teleport them out

yEET: But te-.... Help

Snow Queen: technically

yEET: technically…. Technically can’t you turn into an old lady and then make friends with them and the you’ll be their hero, like how you’ve always wanted, to be the hero *heart emoji*

Snow Queen: I don’t need to be their hero because I already know I’m a fucking hero

yEET: See I thought you were gonna put because I’m your hero

Snow Queen: I mean, jump off a building and I’ll catch you

yEET: ….I’m scared of that

Snow Queen: But you’ve always wanted to see one of my pocket dimensions, and you can only do that by falling like I did yesterday

yEET: oh yeah

Snow Queen: To tell you the truth, I’m not up because of Thor, although his snoring is quite annoying… I found something really disturbing on the internet…

yEET: What else is new

yEET: Well now that you said it you’ve gotta tell me

Snow Queen: I, I found stories… about Thor and I…

Snow Queen: And in the stories, we were doing certain things…

yEET: You know,.... There’s more….

Snow Queen: I mean, he couldn’t be worse than the horse

yEET: I’m assuming in the horse situation you were the bottom,.... Did you get revenge? Or redemption?

Snow Queen: I got a child

yEET: I meant with you and thor

Snow Queen: No, in the stories I’ve also been the bottom, there is no good outcome for me

yEET: Unless you want that position… do you? That is the question

Snow Queen: What are you, like 17?

yEET:....I have friends

yEET:... Are we high?

Snow Queen: … I mean technically I’m 17 in human standards so…

yEET: And just so you know I live on Earth and go to highschool so the duches I see in the hallways always talk about this so I know, you know

yEET: Plus I’ve lived on Earth longer than you so I know, know things…. We’ve all got curious its just a faszzze

Snow Queen: Well, I mean, I don’t n o t like the position… if you rlly need to know

yEET: Ahhhhhhh

yEET: *moa-*

yEET: No… I promised MJ I won’t… not today

Snow Queen: You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been on top… That’s sad

yEET: I have,.. But in 2nd grade

yEET: I hate wrestling

Snow Queen: I thought we were talking abt bunk beds

yEET: I thought we were talking about stairs?

yEET: Hello? Did you die yet? Again maybe?

Snow Queen: I love how you almost moa**d on a group chat with Stark

yEET: ….. Shit

Snow Queen: I mean if it was just me you don’t need to worry, but like, he’s like ur dad, and I know I’d get killed if Odin ever saw me do that.

yEET: He might get mad at you too since I’m talking to you

Snow Queen: You started this conversation spiderboy

yEET: I was just asking for help!

yEET: GET HELP!!

Snow Queen: not that part, also, fuck you

yEET: Aunt May just yelled at me… just maybe she was dreaming, she does that sometimes

yEET: Do you know some people shake while they sleep?

Snow Queen: Well, my brother’s rolled of the bed many times, so hard that I hear the thud from down the hall

yEET: I was just gonna put that I believe that the people that fall off beds are people who have seizures at night… or gods just pulling them to the core.. Moana?

Snow Queen: I feel bad for whichever Avenger is in the room under him

yEET: Hey after all the quarantine.. Yes, stuff is over.. Darn it…. Okay, after it’s all over do you want to come with me to spy on people while they sleep and take pictures of them and put them in an album… I’m making it for MJ

Snow Queen: Lets do Thor first, he’s funny

yEET: Okay, I’m only doing people she’s knows because I won’t do that to strangers! I save them not stalk them :)

Snow Queen: I’ve had to sleep in the same bed as Thor on scouting missions and, all i can say is I feel bad for his future wife.

yEET: I’ve never slept with him and I can say me too

Snow Queen: Also, don’t tell him I said this, but he makes a little space for Mjolnir on his pillow and tucks her in every night… yeah have fun future wife

yEET: That’s kinda cute… maybe MjoInir is his future wife

Snow Queen: I bet tHAT’S why Jane broke up with him

yEET: Didn’t M not exist then.. Wasn’t it the other one?

Snow Queen: When Jane dumped him, Mjolnir was still his hammer

yEET: Oh right, I forgot that one came back and still wasn’t destroyed… geez I gotta catch up on my avengers stuff

Snow Queen: Ever since our conversation from earlier, I’ve heard Thor 1 playing like in three different rooms. They’re all trying to find Sleipnir and it’s hilarious

yEET:.

yEET: okay

Snow Queen: Like, it’s not that hard, he’s the only horse in the movie with 8 legs

*yEET has left the chat*

Snow Queen: Woooowwwwww

Snow Queen: I thought you were my friend

*yEET has entered the chat*

*yEET has sent an image*

**image description because it won't load on here: Fan art of Loki in an Elsa dress, leaning over a balcony, looking upset. Thor is in his normal armor, except there are sleeves that look like Anna's, standing behind Loki, looking upset and reaching out a hand towards Loki. It's snowing all around them. **

yEET: I was looking for Elsa

Snow Queen: …

Snow Queen: Why does Thor get his actual outfit and I get the dress… I mean I’m not complaining but I don’t seem to be, uh, female

yEET: I don’t think so either

yEET: Okay, I actually have online school tomorrow so I gotta go

yEET: But tomorrow we’re talking about TikTok!

Snow Queen: I’ll learn some dances

yEET: Yes please

yEET: Okay my brain hurts I gotta go

yEET: BYGUAbsvkdal

Snow Queen: BYFhsujfndj

Tin Can: I just got up cuz I forgot to turn off a light in the lab

Tin Can: What the actual fuck just happened here

Chapter Text

Tin Can: Ok, now that it’s day time, I will repeat

Tin Can: What the actual fuck just happened here

Spy Check: I’d like to know too

Birdman: Holy shit i didn’t even see that

Raccoon: Do you guys need help?

Shrinky: Uh… Ok I’m a little less scared of Loki now

yEET: What do you mean?

yEET: All I see is stuff from yesterday

Snow Queen: Yeah, i think you guys are all hallucinating

Bad Bitch: We love 3am chats

Fanboy: Can’t sleep vibezzz

Snow Queen: Guys, we didn’t talk at 3am

yEET: Yeah Idk what ur on about

*Tin Can has screenshotted the chat*

*Tin Can has sent a screenshot of chat*

Snow Queen: That’s obviously hacked

yEET: Yeah, Mr. Tech Genius

Tin Can: Guys, seriously, what happened

Snow Queen: Okay well if I go off that hacked screenshot, why did yOU text on the bottom of it?

Tin Can: You should know Loki, based on that text, it seems like ur on the bottom of a lot of things

yEET: Oh my god

yEET: Mr Stark hacked in that Loki said that she was a bottom on bunk beds

Snow Queen: How dare you Stark. Also *he*, also, shut up about me changing by day because I’m an indecisive bitch

yEET: *clapping emoji*

Tin Can: I didn’t hack that! Guys, how many of you see that?

Birdman: Me

Shrinky: Me

Spy Check: Me

Raccoon: Me

Bad Bitch: I mean I guess

Fanboy: yeah

yEET: Guys

yEET: I thought we were friends

Snow Queen: Well

Snow Queen: I guess Tony saw you *moa-* on text

yEET: nO

yEET: It’s Moana

Snow Queen: And that’s why there’s only one dash

yEET: Fuck

Tin Can: I’m willing to forget that I saw that if you two admit to being on the chat at 3am

yEET: Fine we were

Snow Queen: I don’t admit shit, but I’ll do it for Peter. Yes, we were on it

yEET: Thanks Lo

yEET: Wait, can I call you Lokes?

Snow Queen: *sigh* fiiineee

yEET: :D

Snow Queen: But that’s only a Peter and Tony Privilege, no one else better call me that

Birdman: Why Tony?

Raccoon: … ;)

Snow Queen: Because he lets me call him Anthony, and Bucky, that would make me a cheater

Raccoon: On who?

Snow Queen: Myself

Tin Can: Calling me Anthony is only a Loki Privilege people

Tin Can: I would include Peter, but he won’t even call me Tony, so

yEET: That’s accurate

Spy Check: I’m bored, let’s add someone

yEET: Yay!

*Spy Check has added Bruce to the chat*

Bruce: Wh-

Birdman: Hey bud

Shrinky: Remember when you turned me into a baby?

Bruce: Who the hell is everyone?

yEET: Okay here’s the rundown
I'm Peter
Bad Bitch=MJ
Fanboy=Ned
Spy Check=Nat
Tin Can=Tony
Birdman=Sam
Raccoon=Bucky
Snow Queen(currently king)=Loki
Shrinky=Scott
Yeah that’s it

Bruce: Oh that helps

yEET: IT’S INITIATION TIME

*Bruce’s name has been changed to Science Bro*

Science Bro: Okay I can live with that

Tin Can: Was Loki ever actually king?

Snow Queen: tWiCe

Snow Queen: And I was supposed to be king of Jotunheim if Odin hadn’t snatched me

yEET: oop-

Tin Can: Daddy issues check

Tin Can: I’m still here for that hug

Spy Check: The king of Jotunheim really made a mistake there, I’d say he’d be a better dad, but if he did that then..

Snow Queen: The king of Jotunheim isn’t my dad, he’s my mom

Spy Check: Wh-

yEET: I wasn't expecting that turn of events

Snow Queen: Yeah, Laufey? That’s my mother

Science Bro: He?

Snow Queen: Well, technically they

Snow Queen: Thor seriously didn’t tell you? With all he talks i thought it’d come up

Birdman: So, your mom's….

Snow Queen: Intersex. All the Jotnar are

Tin Can: Bruce, are u getting this?

Science Bro: Never knew I’d learn so much about another species from a group chat, but I’m not complaining

yEET: So, Loki, if you’re Jotunn, then does that mean you’re intersex too?

Snow Queen: I mean yeah, I am the son of two Jotnar so… kinda in the contract

Tin Can: He’s learning my sarcasm!

Snow Queen: Oh child, I’ve been doing this since the year 1,000

Tin Can: What, did you sass your mom the second you were born?

Snow Queen: Oh, no, I was born in 965

yEET: Shit that’s old

Birdman: And Thor’s older than you??

Snow Queen: he was born in 698

yEET: *laughing emoji* 69

Raccoon: You two are older than Cap and I combined

Raccoon: That’s an achievement

Snow Queen: I’ll take my trophy

Snow Queen: And Thor’s too, he still owes me

Spy Check: For what?

Snow Queen: Probably something

Snow Queen: When you’ve been siblings for over 1,000 years it adds up

Spy Check: I haven’t even had my sister for 100 years but we’re always in debt to each other. I get that

Snow Queen: Oh, funny story that I think Bruce and Anthony will enjoy: This was before Thor and I were born and Odin got bored. So he decided to play around with Midgard and he accidentally started the battle that ended Rome. Apparently Frigga didn’t let it go for 200 years. This was a little more than 200 years before Thor was born. So, there’s your little history fact.

Raccoon: So your adopted dad just casually ended Rome as a joke?

Snow Queen: Yeah

yEET: Can you help me with my history work? *shy emoji*

Fanboy: Me too?

Bad Bitch: Please?

Snow Queen: Okay I guess I’m a tutor now

Snow Queen: Just warning you, Midgard might have a different view on how things happened, so just warning you.

Bad Bitch: Well if my teacher fails me I’ll just tell her I got my answers from someone that’s over 1,000 years old

Tin Can: Good luck getting her to believe that

Fanboy: I mean we can tell her who

Snow Queen: And then she’ll ask for proof and I really don’t wanna fight a Midgardian woman over what actually started the Indian War.

Science Bro: Question for science, Loki: I was reading yesterday’s stuff, and is the whole intersex thing how Sleipnir was able to happen?

Snow Queen: Well, I had the form of a female horse at the time, but, I mean I guess??

yEET: Take your science talk to your own chat

Science Bro: Alright, later then

Snow Queen: *sigh* but i had plans to annoy Thor later

Tin Can: Maybe science with Bruce will be a good idea, then. Last time you annoyed Thor we had to clean the blood off of the stairs and carpet.

Snow Queen: I- fine, we’ll take it outside next time

yEET: CaTcH mE oUtSiDe, HoW bOuT tHaT?

Snow Queen: Pardon?

yEET: It’s a meme

Spy Check: How’s quarantine going for the Parker Household?

yEET: *sigh*

yEET: Aunt May’s on her period

Fanboy: Oh RIP

Snow Queen: I’ll pray for you

Bad Bitch: You need some emotional support?

Tin Can: You can come over here if you want

yEET: She won’t let me out

yEET: Even to get food

Raccoon: I’d sneak you out, but Steve would kill me

Snow Queen: I’d come sneak you out, but Mjollnir is currently on my chest

Tin Can: Why?

Snow Queen: Thor thought it’d be funny. But it’s fine, she makes a good book stand. I just finished another book

Science Bro: That’s your 10th one

Tin Can: It’s only been three days of quarantine

yEET: Bruh I need your reading skills

Snow Queen: Oh Bruce, by the way, if I do science with you, I’ll need the next Game of Thrones book

Science Bro: It’s yours

Snow Queen: Well then I’ll be happy to comply

Snow Queen: I’m a simple man. I’ll do a lot of things for a book.

Raccoon: I feel like that statement means a lot more than we think.

Snow Queen: I mean, other realms don’t offer as simple of prices for doing things for them. And I really needed some magical texts from Vanaheim…

Spy Check: Okay, well I guess killing for books is better than for money

Tin Can: *cough* you just targeted yourself *cough*

Spy Check: *sigh* yes I’m aware

yEET: TOPIC TIME: TikTok

Tin Can: I- oh no

Raccoon: Tik huh?

Snow Queen: rEnEgAdE

Spy Check: oh shit, Loki knows TikTok

Snow Queen: Only cuz of Peter

Birdman: I’m a bad bitch, fuck the bitch

Snow Queen: bitch get slick imma cut the bitch

Bad Bitch: I’m Bad Bitch tho

Fanboy: if I back it up

yEET: is it fat enough?

Birdman: *whip crack*

Bad Bitch: When I throw it back

Tin Can: Is it fast enough?

Fanboy: If I speed it up

yEET: Can you handle that?

Snow Queen: You ain’t ready for this work

Spy Check: Now watch

Bad Bitch: Me

Birdman: Throw it

Tin Can: Throw it

Science Bro: BACK

Raccoon: What

Raccoon: The ACTUAL fuck

Spy Check: Tony, let's make some tik toks and make everyone on the internet freak out cuz we're on tiktok

Tin Can: Yes, let’s go

Birdman: I’m joining

Snow Queen: Bruce, let’s postpone science in the name of tiktok

Science Bro: Hell yeah let’s do it

Snow Queen: Hell yeah Thor just snatched Mjollnir back let’s go

yEET: Tik Toks over facetime, dudes?

Fanboy: Let’s go

Bad Bitch: Agreed

Raccoon: Wait

Raccoon: Guys I don’t get it!

Raccoon: Guys?!

Raccoon: You know what, I’ll go ask Vision

Raccoon: He’s gotta know something

Chapter Text

yEET: CALLING ALL AVENGERS

Tin Can: What’s going on?

Spy Check: Are you okay?

Birdman: Oh no little dude we’re coming

Raccoon: Peter? Where are you? We’ll come as soon as we can

Snow Queen: If anyone hurts you I swear to the Norns they’ll be dead before they can take a breath

Science Bro: Please don’t say you need the Hulk

yEET: I need school help

Bad Bitch: Same

Fanboy: We all do

Snow Queen: Alright where’s that teacher

Tin Can: PETER

Spy Check: Never do that again!

Birdman: Jesus, kid!

Tin Can: YOU FUCKING SCARED US!!

Snow Queen: You should be scared

Raccoon: What do you mean?

Snow Queen: Did no one hear me just threaten his teacher?

Snow Queen: I swear to Valhalla no one takes me seriously anymore

Snow Queen: There was once a day when I’d say ‘fuck’ and everyone’s weapons would be on me in 0.2 seconds

Snow Queen: What if i just decided to go back to my old evil days, hm? No one would be ready. Tsk tsk. You’ve all gone soft

Spy Check: No, we just trust you now, cuz you’ve proved yourself

Tin Can: Yeah, you’re a pretty good guy, Loki

Snow Queen: Fuck

Snow Queen: I’M the one who got soft

Science Bro: No, you’re just a good person. We don’t doubt your strength, and anyone who does is not very lucky

Snow Queen: Aww

Snow Queen: Guys

Snow Queen: That was actually kinda sweet

Snow Queen: You’re probably some of the best friends I’ve ever had. I haven’t had many, but the ones I did were douchebags. I lofve you guys *puppy dog eye emoji*

yEET: Is someone on their period..?

Snow Queen: No, thankfully

Snow Queen: Just espresso depresso. Stark, I might take you up on that hug later

Raccoon: Peter, this is hardly Loki during that

Birdman: Yeah, there’s a reason you’re not allowed at the tower one week every month

yEET: I thought that was for debriefing that I would get bored sitting through?

Spy Check: Oh, no. That’s because Loki’s in a fucking rage

Snow Queen: Hey, I’m not as bad as you

Spy Check: Oh yeah? Who almost froze Tony’s entire lab and set Thor on fire at the same time?

Snow Queen: Who slashed through all the furniture in the common room?

Spy Check: Both of us, on two different occasions

Snow Queen: Oh, right

Tin Can: Remind me to never let you two sync up again

Tin Can: That caused more property damage than the Hulk and Thor combined, and Fury will never be willing to fund the replacements again

Snow Queen: Don’t pout, Anthony, our damage gets you new furniture at least twice a month

Tin Can: Yeah and soon I’m gonna have to start paying for it!

Spy Check: He’s so pessimistic

Snow Queen: I know right? Cheer up, you have an excuse to redecorate

yEET: I just get super sad during mine

yEET: What steroids are they on?

Birdman: Fucking good ones

Bad Bitch: FUCKING MATH CAN KILL ME BITCH I-

Fanboy: Oh right, homework

yEET: Oh yeah *sigh* help please?

Science Bro: This is my specialty, alright, what do you need help in?

Fanboy: Surviving the week

Snow Queen: Err, sorry, can’t help you there

Tin Can: Come on guys, it’s already Thursday! Almost done!

yEET: Stop being such a good father figure Mr. Stark

yEET: We’re suffering here

Bad Bitch: Can I fake my death with Loki instead?

Snow Queen: uh, maybe next week? I already ‘died’ once this week, I shouldn’t overdo it.

Bad Bitch: You free Monday?

Snow Queen: Obviously. How shall we do this, building jump? Well, I did that this week but I mean it's a classic

Bad Bitch: How about a bridge?

Snow Queen: Ooh, I haven’t done the Washington Bridge yet.

Bad Bitch: Alright meet you there

Snow Queen: Bet

Tin Can: Guys, let’s not

Tin Can: MJ’s mom will kill me

Snow Queen: Can I still go?

Tin Can: *sigh* go for it, you’re a mage and an expert at it, I won’t deny that

Snow Queen: Well good, I was gonna do it anyway

Snow Queen: Guys, you’ve gotta admit that Thor’s scream of anguish after is at least a little entertaining.

Spy Check: ngl, yeah it is

Tin Can: I won’t deny it

yEET: I can hear it from my apartment

Raccoon: Highlight of my Monday

Birdman: Agreed

Bad Bitch: hELP please

Bad Bitch: You guys have gone off topic like 5 times

Science Bro: Sorry, yeah, what’d you guys need?

*Bad Bitch has sent a picture*

Science Bro: Physics?

Science Bro: Tony that’s yours

Tin Can: Alright

*Tin Can has sent a picture*

yEET: Wow, he really just gave us the answers

Tin Can: I come through when is necessary

Fanboy: Algebra II help pls

*Fanboy has send a picture*

Science Bro: Got it

*Snow Queen has sent a picture*

Science Bro: Wow Loki, that’s actually right

Snow Queen: And you doubted me

yEET: Your handwriting is like, so nice

Snow Queen: Thank you, my mother taught me calligraphy when I was young, Thor refused and look at his handwriting

Tin Can: It’s like a garbage dump threw up on paper. He’s not allowed to sign things anymore.

Science Bro: Oh right, i remember Thor saying that you took a lot of extra classes

Snow Queen: Yeah, and I used to be one of the most intelligent mages on Asgard until it, you know, exploded

Snow Queen: I can speak in almost every non-Allspeak language, and aside from Allspeak, all Thor knows is Groot

yEET: Can you help me with Spanish?

Snow Queen: I wasn’t the best at it, but I could try

Tin Can: I grew up learning Spanish. My turn.

*yEET has sent a picture*

*Tin Can has sent a picture*

Bad Bitch: French?

Snow Queen: French is one of my favorite Midgardian languages. My turn.

*Bad Bitch has sent a picture*

*Snow Queen has sent a picture*

Spy Check: Do you know Russian?

Snow Queen: Yes, it happens to be the closest translating language to Jotunn

Spy Check: Oh wow

Spy Check: Хотите поговорить на русском языке вокруг башни с Баки и мной? (Want to speak Russian around the tower with Bucky and me?)

Raccoon: Да это было бы весело (That would be fun)

Snow Queen: Конечно. Я Бог Зла в конце концов (Of course. I am the God of Mischief after all)

Tin Can: Oh no, another Russian speaker

Snow Queen: Yo también puedo hablar contigo. Puede que no sea el mejor en español pero puedo hablarlo bastante bien. (I can talk to you too. I may not be the best in Spanish but I can speak it quite well)

Tin Can: Oh esta bien. Divertido. (Oh okay. Cool)

Birdman: Someone test him with another language, but don’t tell him what it is

Fanboy: I’m not too good at this, but これ知ってる？(do you know this?)

Snow Queen: ええ、俺は日本語を話してんだ。ヴァニル語に一番似てるのさ。(Hm, yes I know Japanese. Closest to Vanir)

Fanboy: No way

Tin Can: What language?

Snow Queen: Japanese. It’s closest to the Vanir

Raccoon: Uh, Ce zici de asta? Natasha nici nu știe asta. (Uh, how about this? Natasha doesn't even know this.)

Spy Check: Hey! I saw my name! What are you talking about?

Snow Queen: Română, o limbă destul de provocatoare de învățat, dar distractivă (Romanian, a rather challenging language to learn, but fun)

Raccoon: Yes, he knows Romanian!

Tin Can: Ok, I have one

Tin Can: L'ho imparato da una delle mie tate quando avevo 10 anni. Asgard insegna questo? (I learned this from one of my nannies when I was 10. Does Asgard teach this?)

Snow Queen: Italiano. No, l'ho imparato realizzando che è un misto di alcune lingue tribali. Ma lo so, quindi conta. (Italian. No, I learned this by realizing that it's a mixture of some tribal languages. But I know it, so it counts.)

yEET: Mr. Stark, you know Italian?

Tin Can: Yeah, you do too?

yEET: No, but Loki’s text says Italiano, so I guessed.

Birdman: I’m putting all of this through google translate cuz I have no idea what the fuck any of you guys said

Raccoon: Îmi place să am un amic românesc. Putem doar să discute la gunoi oameni și nu vor ști ce spunem. (I like having a Romania friend. We can talk trash about people and they won't know what we're saying)

Snow Queen: Cred că Vision poate traduce, totuși, trebuie să fim atenți. ( I think Vision can translate, though, so we have to be careful.)

Tin Can: quiero ir a casa (i want to go home)

Snow Queen: Estás en casa (you are home)

Tin Can: Lo sé, pero mi cama parece muy cómoda ahora (I know, but my bed seems very comfortable right now)

Snow Queen: Desearía poder dormir ahora mismo también. Pero, por desgracia, Thor me está haciendo ir al parque con él en un rato, así que no debería. (I wish I could sleep right now too. But alas, Thor is making me go to the park with him in a bit, so I shouldn't.)

Bad Bitch: Bonjour (hello)

Snow Queen: Salut, tu veux toujours sauter ce pont lundi? Parce que je pourrais te faufiler. (hi, do you still wanna jump that bridge on Monday? Because I could sneak you up)

Bad Bitch: Uh, oui? (uh, yes?)

Snow Queen: Do you know what I said?

Bad Bitch: Non (no)

Snow Queen: I mean you said the right thing, cuz you said yes to it before.

Bad Bitch: Oooooh! Oui oui then

Tin Can: Oui oui baguette

Snow Queen: Tu sais, tu es vraiment ennuyeux parfois. (you know, you are really annoying sometimes)

Tin Can: Merci (thank you)

Snow Queen: Vous êtes très bienvenu mon ami. (you are very welcome my friend)

Birdman: Is Norse a language?

Snow Queen: Yes, Old Norse is a language

yEET: Say something in it!

Snow Queen: Til eru margar útgáfur af norrænum, en þessi er næst því sem Asgarðmenn nota til að tala við Jötnar. (there are a lot of versions of Nordic, but this is the version that Asgardians use to talk to the Jötnar.)

Snow Queen: Það er útgáfan sem ég vil helst tala um þar sem hún vísar til heimalands míns. (This is the version I prefer to use as it refers to my homeland)

yEET: That looks so cool

Snow Queen: Þakka þér fyrir.

Snow Queen: That means thank you by the way

yEET: Ooh, can you teach me some over FaceTime?

Snow Queen: Sure, we can talk while Thor scares birds at the park.

Snow Queen: Wait, he’s just decided not to

*Snow Queen has sent a picture*

Tin Can: Is Thor in a hazmat suit?

Snow Queen: Yes

Snow Queen: He’s decided that quarantine is important, even tho he can’t get the fucking virus

Snow Queen: So yeah I’ll teach you, Peter

Tin Can: Can I join?

yEET: Yes!

Snow Queen: Why not? þeim mun meiri mun ég giska á. (the more the merrier I guess)

Bad Bitch: Ned, game pigeon?

Fanboy: Obviously

Raccoon: Wanna come train with me Nat?

Spy Check: *spar* you mean. Cap’s saying we shouldn’t be in contact with each other, so…

Raccoon: Get enough plastic wrap for both of us and meet me down there

Spy Check: On it

Birdman: Guys! I finally figured out what all of you were saying!

Birdman: Hello?

Science Bro: I’ve just given up at this point.

Birdman: Damn it.

Chapter Text

yEET: Hey dudes

Bad Bitch: Yo

Fanboy: yee yee

yEET: Wait.

yEET: Something’s off

yEET: Someone usually responds by now

Bad Bitch: Well we did

yEET: No, like an avenger

yEET: We’re all doing the same thing, so of course you’d respond

Snow Queen: Help

Snow Queen: I’m bored as shit

yEET: There you are

Snow Queen: Here I am

yEET: Where are the others?

Snow Queen: What, am I not good enough for you?

yEET: Of course you are! I was just wondering cuz usually everyone comes on

Snow Queen: Oh, they’re in a meeting about the virus

Snow Queen: Like, government shit and how to spread a message from Earth’s heros

Bad Bitch: Where are you?

Snow Queen: In the meeting.

Snow Queen: But you know I never participate

Fanboy: Does the government even let you after New York?

Snow Queen: Yeah since it was mind control, it was only right since they accepted Bucky, but most of them don’t like me anyway so they prefer if i don’t say anything

yEET: I thought Mr. Fury was cool with you tho

Snow Queen: Oh he is, he hates this as much as I do, I can tell. This is like US and global government stuff

Snow Queen: And he doesn’t like them, and I get on their nerves, so I can tell he wants me to talk. Fury and I both love the looks on their faces when I actually have a good idea, which i usually do, but they only notice like ⅓ of them

Bad Bitch: So basically you and Fury are the “piss off government officials” team, and you’re only there to spite them with your underrated intelligence

Snow Queen: Exactly

Fanboy: And you’re on your phone

Snow Queen: They don’t know that tho

Snow Queen: I’m typing in one of my pocket dimensions, but in the meeting I’m “paying attention”

Snow Queen: ah, the art of multitasking.

yEET: So you can tell us how long school’s closed for?

Snow Queen: Oh they already covered that, they are putting it out as “until further notice” but they’re thinking about even closing for the rest of the year. Earliest would probably be May sometime.

Snow Queen: But they don’t know when it will start declining so it could be earlier or later. It’s a guess

Bad Bitch: Wow, you are paying attention

yEET: I’m proud

Snow Queen: Do you guys know how many council meetings i had to sit through on Asgard, and then recap what happened to Thor? I’m a pro at this.

yEET: When I go to college, i need to bring you with me

Snow Queen: I mean, I can be invisible

yEET: *eyes emoji*

Bad Bitch: Ok that’s assuming we can actually take our admission tests *glaring emoji*

Fanboy: Fucking coronavirus

Snow Queen: I mean I was an introvert anyway, but like, this is out of hand

Bad Bitch: Same

Snow Queen: I should’ve stocked up on Starbucks

Snow Queen: Anyone wanna follow a home recipe with me for a cold brew?

yEET: You’re such a stereotypical gay

yEET: Iced coffee

Snow Queen: The best coffee out there

Snow Queen: The only warm drinks I like are tea and hot chocolate

Bad Bitch: Figures

yEET: What are you guys’ quarantine missions?

Snow Queen: What?

yEET: Oh, for school we have to tell our teachers what we’re gonna try and accomplish over coronacation

Bad Bitch: Mine is to have a glo-up

Fanboy: Mine’s to finish my entire Star Wars lego set

yEET: Mine is to be less awkward, but the one I’m telling my teacher is to spend quality time with my aunt

yEET: Loki, what’s yours?

Snow Queen: For Thor and I to not destroy the compound while we’re in quarantine

Snow Queen: Also, maybe to get closer with him again, but will I tell him? No

yEET: I will

Snow Queen: Oh no, please don’t

Snow Queen: It’s totally not something I’ve been trying to convey with actions for a year now and he hasn’t noticed.

Bad Bitch: Wow, you actually care about him?

Snow Queen: nyes

Snow Queen: yeno

Snow Queen: nyeno

Snow Queen: yenoyes

yEET: Go ahead, take your time

Snow Queen: ….yes

Snow Queen: NO

Snow Queen: *sigh* ʸᵉᵃʰ

yEET: Wow Loki

yEET: good job

Snow Queen: gjigninfirerd

Snow Queen: fufficnuef

Bad Bitch: I think telling the truth broke them

Snow Queen: jiriufmhfuFHIUIUNOWU

Snow Queen: I wish he’d see that

Snow Queen: WHAT HAHA I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING NOTHING AT ALL DID YOU SEE ME SAY ANYTHING CUZ I DIDN’T HAHA ILLUSIONS RIGHT?!?

yEET: Oh my god

yEET: They’re in denial

Snow Queen: nO

Snow Queen: Okay

Snow Queen: Meeting

Snow Queen: Gotta go

Snow Queen: Bye

*Snow Queen has left the chat*

yEET: Oh alright

yEET: We’ll get them to tell Thor

Bad Bitch: Yes we will

Fanboy: To our group chat we go

Chapter Text

Tin Can: Ok Peter you are not bring Loki to college with you

Snow Queen: Hello to you too Tony

yEET: 😞 

Bad Bitch: Peter… u gonna do it?

yEET: Oh right

yEET: We’re gonna add someone

Snow Queen: It better not be who I think it is

*yEET has added Thor Odinson to the chat* 

Snow Queen: Fuck you 

yEET: Love you too :) 

Thor Odinson: Hello friends!

Snow Queen: Wow, you actually figured out a phone

Thor Odinson: Who is the snow queen? Did we meet her on a mission?

yEET: Oh my god

yEET: Now I see what Loki’s saying

Snow Queen: *facepalm*

*Spy Check has sent a picture*

Thor Odinson: Ah, aliases

Thor Odinson: What do they mean?

Birdman: They’re just fun nicknames

Raccoon: Yeah because Falcon isn’t enough of a nickname

Birdman: Shut up

Birdman: I didn’t choose this

yEET: INITIATION TIME

*Thor Odinson’s name has been changed to Thunder Thot* 

Thunder Thot: What?

Snow Queen: I’M PISSING OH MY GOD

Thunder Thot: What does thot mean?

yEET: Should i…

Snow Queen: It means Talented Hero Over There

Thunder Thot: Oh, well then you are all great thots!

Thunder Thot: Even you Loki!

Tin Can: I mean he’s right about that 

Snow Queen: I should’ve seen that coming

Birdman: “A hOe NeVeR gEtS CoLd” - Peter about Loki, 2020

Snow Queen: Shut up Birdie

Birdman: *is offended*

Snow Queen: *doesn’t care*

yEET: Shaaaaddddeeeee 

Science Bro: Excuse me, but who showed up *late* to battle in a whole new Gucci outfit during the end of your fucking planet?

Snow Queen: That doesn’t make me a thot

Thunder Thot: Dear brother, never doubt your worth! Of course you are a thot! 

Tin Can: I mean, Loki, listen to your brother

Snow Queen: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Spy Check: Put the table down

Snow Queen: ┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ) 

Spy Check: Good job

Thunder Thot: This was all very humorous, but I must confess

Thunder Thot: I know what thot actually means

Raccoon: So you legit called Loki a thot

Thunder Thot: … it is true

Snow Queen: I’M FUCKING OFFENDED 

Thunder Thot: Oh come on, Brother, the Grandmaster?

Snow Queen: He

Snow Queen: I-

Snow Queen: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Tin Can: C’mon Lokes, we all know you could’ve been a stripper

Snow Queen: wHAT

Snow Queen: JUST BECAUSE I’M A TWINK DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN ACCUSE ME OF BEING A STRIPPER

Snow Queen: ALSO, SLEEPING WITH ONE MAN WHO HAPPENS TO RULE A TRASH PLANET DOES NOT MAKE ME A THOT, OR A STRIPPER 

Snow Queen: I’m too classy for that

Tin Can: I mainly said that to get you mad

Tin Can: I succeeded

Snow Queen: Watch your back, Anthony

*Snow Queen has left the chat*

yEET: Uh, Mr. Stark?

Tin Can: Fuck

Tin Can: Loki? Come on buddy, it was a joke

Tin Can: Loki??

Tin Can: Fuck

Raccoon: Did he stab you?

Tin Can: yeah

Tin Can: It’s fine tho, I could tell he wasn’t intending to kill me

Tin Can: He only got like an inch of the knife in anyway

Thunder Thot: Loki stabs me all the time, but as I’m a god it doesn’t really affect me

Thunder Thot: Do you need proper healing?

Science Bro: Yeah, I’ll come down if you need

Tin Can: No it’s fine, I wrapped it, we’re good

*Tin Can has added Snow Queen to the chat* 

Tin Can: We even now?

Snow Queen: Yes

Snow Queen: Sorry, kinda forgot you’re mortal

Thunder Thot: It’s a tendency, once, Loki stabbed me because she(at the time) was happy to see me

Snow Queen: It’s how I show emotion apparently 

Snow Queen: At least according to ThUnDeR tHoT over here

yEET: Hey, I mean, if you like the name so much then

Snow Queen: Oh fuck no

Snow Queen: Peter nO-

*Snow Queen’s name has been changed to Magical Thot* 

Magical Thot: 눈_눈

Thunder Thot: We’re matching now!

Magical Thot: yay *glaring emoji*

Raccoon: HOLY SHIT

yEET: WHAT

Raccoon: SAM JUST FLEW INTO MY FUCKING WINDOW

Raccoon: IT’S CLOSED

Birdman: That shit hurted 

Tin Can: Why are you even in your suit 

Birdman: I’m bored 

Birdman: I figured a can’t get corona from the sky, so that’s my best option

Raccoon: Update: There is now a Sam-shaped smudge on my window

Tin Can: Good thing i pay someone else to clean the windows

yEET: don’t text and fly Sam

yEET: You’ll hit another window

Tin Can: kid’s right

Birdman: Wow, told off by a child

yEET: *gasp* a CHILD

Magical Thot: I want a fucking cold brew

Tin Can: I can get you one

Magical Thot: rlly? How? Starbucks is closed??

Tin Can: I know someone who works there who knows how to make them at home

Tin Can: i swear off them

Tin Can: I’ll pick you up one in a little bit

Magical Thot: Omg I love you

Tin Can: ;)

Magical Thot: You know what I mean

yEET: Thor?

Thunder Thot: Yes, Spiderling? 

yEET: i want you to read yesterday’s texts

yEET: specifically Loki’s parts

Thunder Thot: I shall do so now

Magical Thot: nO

Magical Thot: Peetteeeerrrr

yEET: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Magical Thot: I feel betrayed

Magical Thot: Oh and Thofkpfidnciw

Bad Bitch: I think we broke him again

Science Bro: Again?

Magical Thot: No, hold on

*Magical Thot has left the chat* 

yEET: What’s going on

Spy Check: Where’d he go?

Tin Can: Lemme check with Friday

Tin Can: Awwww

Tin Can: Peter you may have just fixed their brotherhood

yEET: What’d I do?

Tin Can: They’re hugging 

Bad Bitch: Loki’s hugging b a c k?

Tin Can: Yes, and I think Thor said some stuff cuz Loki’s fucking bawling 

Science Bro: Well, all that pent up emotion had to come out sometime

Science Bro: i heard their story 

yEET: Mr. Stark, isn’t that an invasion of privacy?

Tin Can: Well-

Tin Can: This is important! Loki’s changing!

Tin Can: But, yeah I’ll get off the cams now

Raccoon: Should someone let Loki back in the chat so he doesn’t start spamming us?

Bad Bitch: Yeah definitely

*Bad Bitch has added Magical Thot to the chat*

Bad Bitch: There

yEET: Alright

yEET: Our mission has been accomplished

Bad Bitch: yes

Fanboy: indeed

Tin Can: What?

yEET: yesterday we planned that we were gonna have Thor find out what Loki really felt

yEET: And we succeeded

Birdman: You sure did

Birdman: Relax Peter I’ve landed

yEET: Good 

Spy Check: Alright, that’s a good note to end on

Spy Check: Let’s have a non-chaotic ending to our chat for once

Raccoon: Yes, we should celebrate

Tin Can: The Odinsons have been brought together again

yEET: We can leave happily

Science Bro: Alright Tony, back to our project

Tin Can: What, the peep thing? Yes, let's do that

yEET: Woah woah woah

yEET: peeps? 

yEET: Guys!?

yEET: Welp I guess I’m not getting an answer

Birdman: You know, Bucky, those Asgardians inspired me

Birdman: Wanna hug it out?

Raccoon: Absolutely not, you ran into my fucking window

Birdman: Okay I deserve that

Spy Check: You two will never learn

Bad Bitch: I call today an epic win

Fanboy: Yes

Bad Bitch: I’m gonna go now, Ned 

Fanboy: Okay same

Fanboy: Why’d you tell me that tho

Bad Bitch: Because i didn’t wanna leave you here with nothing

Fanboy: Oh, ok

Fanboy: Bye

Bad Bitch: Bye

Magical Thot: Well, that was interesting

Magical Thot: The deepest conversation I’ve ever had came from a group chat

Magical Thot: Funny

Magical Thot: Guys?

Magical Thot: I just emptied my fucking soul out and you’re just gonna leave me?

Magical Thot: Wow, and I just thanked you guys

Magical Thot: Fuck you all, I’m getting my own cold brew now 

Chapter Text

Bad Bitch: It is Sunday my dudes

yEET: aaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHH

Bad Bitch: Thank you

yEET: Always

Fanboy: anyway ;-)

Magical Thot: For all of you wondering

Magical Thot: I did get my cold brew

Magical Thot: And it was fucking amazing

Thunder Thot: He made me break into Starbucks with him

Magical Thot: Tasted like VICTORY

Tin Can: Good for you :)

Thunder Thot: So you guys just don’t care about what I said?

Spy Check: We’re used to his law breaking by now

Spy Check: People are too sacred of him to stop him 

Birdman: scared*

Magical Thot: No no, she’s right, i am too sacred for the mortals

Thunder Thot: damn right

Magical Thot: *high fives*

Thunder Thot: *high fives*

Tin Can: *facepalms*

Raccoon: Hey, at least they’re actually properly functioning siblings instead of fighting so much they destroy an entire street

Magical Thot: Yeah Tony, appreciate growth

yEET: I’m glad my plan worked

yEET: I love the space bros

Magical Thot: I’ll always be a dramatic bitch

Magical Thot: but maybe i’ll be less espresso depresso now

Magical Thot: we’ll find out i guess

Fanboy: we love character development

Birdman: Buuucckkkkyyyyyy

Raccoon: No

Birdman: Fineeee

Science Bro: Loki what’d you eat this morning

Science Bro: You’re way too calm/happy

Magical Thot: I had a bagel and green tea

Magical Thot: why would that affect my mood

Thunder Thot: maybe it’s cuz of yesterday

Magical Thot: Yeah it definitely is

Magical Thot: Where tf are you i want attention

Thunder Thot: I’m right next to you

Magical Thot: oh right

Magical Thot: hi

Thunder Thot: hello

yEET: bEST BROTHERS

Bad Bitch: indeed they are

Spy Check: I think it’s topic time

Spy Check: Alright, we’re doing a truth game, cuz dares would be hard with social distancing

Spy Check: So, someone asks you a question and you have to answer it truthfully 

Tin Can: *cough* Loki *cough*

Magical Thot: alright fine, no lying for the duration of the game, got it

Birdman: Wow, Thor really has some effect on you

Magical Thot: Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw

yEET: yES

yEET: HEATHERS REFERENCE

Magical Thot: Finally, someone with musical taste around here

Spy Check: anyway

Spy Check: I’ll go first

Spy Check: Tony, when was the last time you got drunk

Tin Can: uh

Tin Can: last night??

Spy Check: Of course

Tin Can: Hey! I told the truth

Tin Can: My turn. Thor, Mjolnir or Stormbreaker?

Thunder Thot: Stormbreaker may be stronger, but I’ll always love Mjolnir more

yEET: nice nice

Thunder Thot: I guess it’s my turn now. Loki, what is something that no one here but (probably) me knows?

Magical Thot: ...I have kids 

Tin Can: Well, yeah, we know about Sleipnir

Magical Thot: Counting him, I have 5

Birdman: wHAT

Tin Can: ^^^

Spy Check: ^^^

yEET: ^^^

Bad Bitch: ^^^

Fanboy: ^^^

Science Bro: ^^^

Raccoon: ^^^

Magical Thot: yeah

Magical Thot: Narfi, Vali, Jormungandr, Fenrir, and Sleipnir

Science Bro: That must be why you’re so good with Peter

yEET: Hey, I’m not that young!!

Tin Can: I still can’t believe that, but I mean, knowing you’re a parent to things that aren’t horses makes me trust you a lot more 

Magical Thot: only two of them are Asgardian in appearance, the rest are animals, sorry Tony

Magical Thot: and I told you all I’ve had relationships, you all just chose to ignore me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Magical Thot: Anyway, Peter, if you could be any Avenger other than yourself or Tony, who would you be?

yEET: Thor

Magical Thot: that was fast, jeez

Thunder Thot: I am honored, young spider

Tin Can: So we’re not gonna talk about that video I found in your suit in like 2017?

yEET: nO-

yEET: Please Mr. Stark

Tin Can: I aM tHoR

Tin Can: SoN oF oDiN

yEET: Nooooo

Thunder Thot: what is this video you speak of?

yEET: Oh, nothing haha

Tin Can: Oh, then I can share it with them if it's nothing?

yEET: NO

Magical Thot: I’ll trade you a video of Fenrir falling down the stairs for it

yEET: …

Tin Can: deal

yEET: … ok I guess I’ll just be embarrassed

Spy Check: so we’re just trading Peter’s video to see a child fall down the stairs

Magical Thot: Fenrir is a wolf

Magical Thot: You’re trading to see a puppy fall down the palace stairs

Magical Thot: How fucked up do you think i am

Spy Check: Oh, then proceed

Thunder Thot: Oh, Loki, I remember that day!

Magical Thot: I think that was the most I’ve ever laughed ;-)

Magical Thot: although, Nat, I do have a video of Vali falling face first into the lake

Thunder Thot: I took that video!

Magical Thot: yeah, and I’m in the background deciding whether to laugh or feel bad 

yEET: Did you help him?

Magical Thot: he could swim, but yeah I jumped in after him

Magical Thot: that video is really chaotic ;-)

Thunder Thot: I have that one on my phone, i’ll send it ;-)

*Thunder Thot has sent a video*

Magical Thot: here’s the one of Fenrir

*Magical Thot has sent a video*

yEET: fine

*yEET has sent a video*

Tin Can: GUYS WATCH THE FIRST ONE

Tin Can: LOKI FUCKING SHRIEKS

Magical Thot: the water was cold okay

Magical Thot: we’re both Jotunn so we weren’t hurt, but like, it was still freezing

yEET: Oh my god Loki, Vali’s adorableeee

Raccoon: ^^^

Tin Can: ^^^

Magical Thot: :)))))

Spy Check:  you really jumped in shirt and all

Spy Check: dedication man

Magical Thot: I would’ve ripped it superman style, but i liked that shirt

Bad Bitch: can we talk about how Loki’s actually a good parent

Magical Thot: and you doubted me

yEET: Loki?

Magical Thot: yeah?

yEET: what was that green thing in the water? Looked big, like the lochness monster. Is that real on Asgard?

Magical Thot: oh, no, that’s Jormungandr. He’s a serpent

Magical Thot: now that I think about it, i didn’t need to jump in

Magical Thot: Jormungandr was right there

Thunder Thot: but he did nothing

Magical Thot: true, but like, still

Magical Thot: oh well, i was hot anyway

Spy Check: that video of Fen was q u a l i t y

Magical Thot *got em emoji*

Thunder Thot: young spider, your video was great

yEET: oh, uh, yeah

yEET: low budget

Thunder Thot: I will have to take you to New Asgard once this virus is gone

Magical Thot: we can all go, and they can meet my kids too

Raccoon: I’ll say this for everyone when I say yEs

Thunder Thot: it is settled!

Tin Can: well this virus better leave soon

Science Bro: yeah

Thunder Thot: Loki, you wanna go back with me now?

Magical Thot: why are you asking me on the text, we are literally touching legs

Thunder Thot: i don’t know

Magical Thot: anyway, sure, but we’re teleporting

Magical Thot: I don’t trust mortals right now

yEET: we don’t either

yEET: shit’s real 

Thunder Thot: alright, goodbye friends!

Magical Thot: ^^^

Tin Can: *waves*

*Magical Thot has sent a video*

Tin Can: oH-

Spy Check: Oh my god I love Fenrir now

Raccoon: me too tho

Birdman: Hey look, he did a me

Science Bro: but he ran into a glass door, not Bucky’s window

Birdman: same thing

yEET: Loki records at the best moments

Bad Bitch: agreed

Fanboy: ok gotta go

Fanboy: school tmr

Bad Bitch: ugH

Bad Bitch: yeah. Come on peter let’s go

yEET: fiiineee

yEET: bye guys

Tin Can: bye 

Raccoon: ^^^

Spy Check: ^^^

Birdman: ^^^

Science Bro: ^^^

Science Bro: Ok, I’m gonna go

Science Bro: guys?

Science Bro: Oh, so when you all sent bye you weren’t saying it to Peter, but you were also leaving the chat

Science Bro: okay then

Science Bro: bye to myself i guess

Chapter Text

yEET: hello world

yEET: it’s been 3 years since I’ve gone outside

yEET: I don’t remember what natural air feels like

yEET: I forgot what the sun feels like

yEET: I miss the trees

Tin Can: Peter it’s been a little more than a week

Tin Can: and we don’t have any of that in New York anyways

yEET: oh right

yEET: Ok, then i forget what car exhaust smells like

Tin Can: good

Birdman: I’d like to forget that too

Raccoon: ^^^

Spy Check: ^^^

Bad Bitch: ^^^

Fanboy: ^^^

Science Bro: ^^^

Magical Thot: ◕ ◡ ◕

Tin Can: wh-

Magical Thot: I felt like i should join

Magical Thot: anyway, hi, I’m trapped 

Raccoon: you need help?

Magical Thot: well, Thor’s asleep on my shoulder, Vali is laying flat on my arm, and Narfi’s in my lap

Magical Thot: you decide

Spy Check: wow, texting with one arm, impressive

Magical Thot: it is not as easy as it looewfeiek

Birdman: no, it’s not as easy as it looewfeiek apparently 

Magica Thot: Thor just spazzed in his sleep and he’s leaning on my texting arm

Magical Thot: this will be fun ( ；¬＿¬)

yEET: what happens if you have to pee

Magical Thot: you fucking hold it

Magical Thot: it took long enough for me to get them to sleep, I’m sure as Hel not waking them up now

Tin Can: so you do have to pee 

Magical Thot: I’ve had to pee for two fucking hours

Magical Thot: I’m in p a i n

Science Bro: that’s unhealthy

Magical Thot: you’re unhealthy

Tin Can: should I..

Magical Thot: shut u[

Magical Thot: shot uph

Magical Thot: Thor stop fuhkcing mgovighng

Magical Thot: he’s wourse than my kgifds

Birdman: He’s worse than your kgifds huh

Magical Thot: I will not hesitate to kill you when I get back, Wilson

Birdman: Oh, jeez, I’ve been last named

Tin Can: I’d watch out

yEET: *cough* anyway

yEET: Do you guys wanna play finish the lyrics?

Tin Can: *sigh* sure

yEET: Okay I’m taking a yes from everyone there 

yEET: so, I’ll start. We’ll start easy

yEET: When i was

Raccoon: a young boy 

Tin Can: my father

Spy Check: took me into the city

Birdman: to see a marching band

Science Bro: he said, “Son when

Bad Bitch: you grow up

Fanboy: would you be the savior of the broken,

Magical Thot: the beaten, and the damned?”

yEET: ok good first run guys

Raccoon: that was easy

yEET: ok then, let's do memes!

Birdman: fuck 

yEET: road work ahead?

Bad Bitch: uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

yEET: Hurricane Katrina?

Fanboy: more like hurricane tortilla!

yEET: Come to Del Taco! They’ve got this new thing called

Magical Thot: FrEsHaVaCaDo!

Raccoon: ready to comply

Raccoon: I'm kidding I swear

yEET: why we going so fucking fast?

Raccoon: But, but we stopped tho. We stopped tho

Magical Thot: heaWWOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH

Tin Can: ok let’s not 

Birdman: yeah, that’s enough

Magical Thot: but that was fun

yEET: this had better come to a stop, doctor

Bad Bitch: this has been a tragic and horrible flop

Fanboy: Don’t feel responsible after all it’s through

Raccoon: who is responsible?

Magical Thot: don’t ask me questions, I’m frightened of questions

yEET: but grateful that it’s come to a stop, Trina

Tin Can: who tf is Trina 

Science Bro: tf when the only doctor here is me

Tin Can: ok we get it, you have sEvEn PhDs

Raccoon: ok, we get it

yEET: you’re both a happy couple

Bad Bitch: why else go through the trouble

Magical Thot: of pOSTING IT TEN TIMES A DAY

Birdman: you all need to stop

yEET: stop it

Magical Thot: get some help

Science Bro: no u 

Magical Thot: … 

Science Bro: where tf did this Uno reverse card come from

Magical Thot: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Spy Check: of course you did

Spy Check: well, this has been fun, but i’ve gotta train 

Spy Check: Bucky, get some more plastic wrap

Raccoon: on it

Magical Thot: why the fuck is he crying, i did absolutely nothing

Tin Can: que?

Magical Thot: Vali was peacefully sleeping and then he woke up and started crying

Magical Thot: I’m convinced it’s because he saw Thor, but anyway, now I have two crying children to cheer up because Narfi heard him crying, woke up and is now bawling.

Birdman: good luck dude

yEET: ^^^ say hi for me!

Magical Thot: I would if i could hear myself tHINK

Tin Can: is Thor still asleep?

Magical Thot: no, he woke up, he’s got Narfi to start playing with him, but Vali’s younger and it’s gonna take a while before he will actually listen to what I’m trying to say to him

Tin Can: alright, what Sam said then

yEET: ^^^

Bad Bitch: ^^^

Fanboy: ^^^

Science Bro: ^^^

Tin Can: so, you guys need Bruce and I to check work?

yEET: yeeee

Bad Bitch: ^^^

Fanboy: ^^^

Science Bro: ok, we should make a group chat for answers

yEET: yes please 

Tin Can: alright, let’s go

Bad Bitch: I’m naming it Stark (and Banner)’s Struggling Students

yEET: how about We Wanna Die II

Tin Can: please no

Tin Can: let’s just go already

yEET: ok, we’ll argue in the other chat 

Fanboy: ^^^

Bad Bitch: ^^^

Science Bro: ok leggo

Bad Bitch: I’m still pressed

Bad Bitch: I know they’ve moved to the other chat, but Loki and i couldn’t go to our bridge 

Bad Bitch: it will have to be postponed I guess, and i will not be mad because children were involved

Bad Bitch: but, when you’re back, I’m coming for you Loki

Bad Bitch: ok that’s all I had to say

Bad Bitch: see you tomorrow Quarantine Check 

Chapter Text

(ok, so in this, I’m making it so that Hel is Loki’s daughter, like Norse Mythology, but Thor did have a secret sister who attacked Asgard. Same story, except Hel is who she actually was supposed to be)

Bad Bitch: Well I guess I didn’t see you guys yesterday

yEET: Shit, I kinda forgot about you guys

Tin Can: rUDE

Birdman: Well, we didn’t go on either

Tin Can: true 

Thunder Thot: My sister told me to announce this

Thunder Thot: “I’m back bitches!”

Spy Check: Can’t she just type it?

Thunder Thot: Oh, she’s out cold

Thunder Thot: we’re back at the tower, but she passed out on the couch 

Science Bro: Kids tire her out?

Thunder Thot: To put it simply, yes

Thunder Thot: Dealing with a giant serpent, an equally giant wolf, a half-skeletal young woman, an eight-legged horse and two mischievous Asgardian sons is no simple feat.

Spy Check: No, doesn’t seem like it. 

Science Bro: You didn’t tell us about the girl?

Thunder Thot: Oh, yes, Hel. She’s probably, I don’t know, 12 in Midgardian standards? I don’t know, you’re confusing. But she’s Loki’s eldest, and easiest currently. Asgardians age slower though, and Loki had her young, so Loki is probably around 17-ish. 

Raccoon: WhAT-

Tin Can: You mean Loki tried to take over New York at, what 13?

Thunder Thot: No, still 17 we stay the same “Midgardian age” for many Asgardian years, so I’m not sure how that would work. I’m 25, and have been since I met you all.

Thunder Thot: Hel will still be in her Midgardian teen years far past when you all are gone. 

Tin Can: That’s not ominous

Birdman: Not at all

Thunder Thot: Oh, she’s waking up

Magical Thot: The fuck did I miss

Science Bro: Just figuring out how old you’d be on Midgard

Magical Thot: Oh, so just more useless shit then

Magical Thot: Why does it matter?

Tin Can: Oh my god, you were a teen parent

Magical Thot: Teen is up until 17, right? So then yeah, I was whatever that is for hundreds of years. Asgard has different age standards. I was still decently young to be a parent, but it wasn’t unheard of. 

Tin Can: You seem completely unfazed

Magical Thot: Bitch, I’m exhausted, my mind is moving too slow to be “fazed”

Spy Check: Did you have fun? *read sarcastically*

Raccoon: Thanks for the stage notes

Spy Check: Shut up *slaps*

Raccoon: *is offended*

Magical Thot: Anyway, yes, I missed them

Tin Can: Who?

Magical Thot: Oh, I don’t know, the fucking blades of grass

Magical Thot: My children, you twit

Birdman: Someone’s in a mood

yEET: Is this the week I can't be at the compound?

Spy Check: If it is, I gotchu

Tin Can: Oh fuck

Tin Can: did they sync again

Tin Can: Please, Loki, just say you’re tired

Magical Thot: Ok, “I’m tired”

Magical Thot: No but seriously, I am tired, and I’d like to be left aLONEFIUFI2-

Magical Thot: THOR I WILL STAB YOU

Magical Thot: No wait actually nevermind, proceed

yEET: What just happened?

Magical Thot: For some reason I’m getting a massage

Thunder Thot: (Peter is right, by the way) 

Thunder Thot: I’m calming her down so she doesn’t decide to tear this floor apart

Magical Thot: Thor stop texting and keep massaging

Magical Thot: Okay I’m texting for him now

Tin Can: Okay, thanks Thor, also, fuck

Spy Check: We’ve done it again, Lo

Magical Thot: Where’s the other half of my name

Spy Check: It’s a nickname

Magical Thot: My name is four letters long

Magical Thot: It’s not that hard to say fully

Magical Thot: Also, Thor says that his name is the same length as mine, and if I get a nickname, he wants one too

Tin Can: Well he’s got Point Break

Magical Thot: He says he wants one that is part of his name

Science Bro: That’s kinda impossible

Magical Thot: Ok, what do you have for me?

Spy Check: Tony’s got that

Tin Can: Alright, we’ve got: Lokes, LoLo, KiKi, Lowkey, Lokie Dokie, Reindeer Games, Bambi, Snowflake, Elsa, Jack Frost, Rudolph, Blueberry, and Lo

Tin Can: Would you like more?

Magical Thot: Jesus Christ

Magical Thot: No, I’m definitely good

Magical Thot: I mean, Thor can’t really be used to make a nickname, like, ThoTho does not sound as good as LoLo does

Tin Can: So you like LoLo?

Magical Thot: All of the ones involving my name, except Kiki, are tolerable

Birdman: Aw, come on Kiki

Spy Check: So that means that Lokie Dokie is “tolerable”?

Magical Thot: Gods, anything other than Kiki

Birdman: But, Kiiiiikiiiiii

Tin Can: Um, Sam, I’d stop. You know what happens when it’s Loki’s time of the month

Birdman: Oh fuck

Birdman: Don’t kill me, or destroy my floor

Birdman: Please

Magical Thot: I will refrain

Magical Thot: For now

Bad Bitch: So, no bridge?

Magical Thot: Sorry kid, as much as I love pissing off Thor, I also love massages

Magical Thot: Also, kinda relying on this, cuz cramps are a bitch, and your Midgardian painkillers do nothing for me, so Thor is my only cure

Raccoon: Oh my god they’re bonding

Magical Thot: Where’ve you been? We’ve been bonding for like 4 days

Tin Can: yeah really Bucky

Spy Check: Get it together

Raccoon: sORRY

Raccoon: I’m just so used to seeing them completely avoid each other

Science Bro: oH, the other day, I saw Loki come out of her room, just casually hug Thor, and continue about her business

Magical Thot: It is called “Making up for lost time”, also “The hate was one sided but actually no one hated each other, and this misunderstanding went on for more than 500 years”

Tin Can: *high fives*

Magical Thot: *fist bumps*

Tin Can: *expected that*

Magical Thot: *smirks*

Magical Thot: Our teen years should’ve been a movie too

Spy Check: They were?

Magical Thot: No, like the calmer parts of it

Magical Thot: Like the commotion I caused with Hel, or worse, Sleipnir, or just all of them, that would’ve been a reality drama show

Magical Thot: Like, with Sleipnir: Thor was just happy the whole time, Odin was plotting my death, and I was just a salty, irritated, pregnant bitch to everyone. Also, carrying a fucking horse is a lot worse of a pregnancy than a human-sized child

Magical Thot: It would’ve won

Birdman: Won what?

Magical Thot: Something, idk

Magical Thot: Ok, I’m going back to sleep, you can use the above information however you wish

Magical Thot: Bye

Tin Can: Bye

Science Bro: Bye (to Loki, I’m not leaving)

Bad Bitch: Bye

yEET: Bye

Birdman: Bye

Raccoon: Bye

Spy Check: Bye

yEET: Where the hell is Ned?

Bad Bitch: I think he’s still doing work

Bad Bitch: He forgot to set his alarm this morning

yEET: He slept till 2pm didn’t he

Bad Bitch: Yup

yEET: Shit I’ve gotta read

yEET: The test is tmr

Bad Bitch: I didn’t even start, I thought it was monday?

yEET: No, tomorrow

Bad Bitch: Fuck

Bad Bitch: K bye

yEET: Bye

Tin Can: I should be mad that you were irresponsible

Tin Can: But I’d do the same thing, so carry on

Science Bro: Tony, lab, breakthrough?

Tin Can: What are we waiting for, let’s prove someone somewhere wrong 

Raccoon: Sam, wanna go for a run?

Birdman: Not if you go as fast as fucking Stars and Stripes

Raccoon: I’ll take it easy on you

Birdman: Ok fine

Spy Check: Well, now I’m the one left here

Spy Check: It’s a lonely world

Spy Check: No it’s not, Steve’s right next to me, but 

Spy Check: It’s a lonely chat

Spy Check: Ok this is boring, I’m gonna go

Spy Check: Not that anyone is here to care

Spy Check: Ok, that was a joke, I’m not that depressed

Spy Check: Bye

Chapter Text

yEET: Ok yesterday was abandoned

Bad Bitch: Yep it was

Fanboy: The day that I actually was free no one showed up

Tin Can: i had like 20 meetings

Raccoon: I was so fucking bored yesterday

Birdman: Same

Spy Check: I think quarantine has actually made us rely on this chat

Spy Check: That’s scary

Thunder Thot: Loki

Magical Thot: Hm?

Thunder Thot: Can you please stop banging your head into my door?

Magical Thot: I have a headache tho

Thunder Thot: Yeah that’s gonna make it worse

Magical Thot: No, you don’t understand

Magical Thot: You hit body parts that hurt 

yEET: Exactly

yEET: If you add more pain on top of the original pain, it cancels out

Magical Thot: tHANK you

Magical Thot: Someone understands

Tin Can: You’re both dumb as shit, but i will confess that I’ve done this

Magical Thot: Aside from Frigga, I was the smartest mage in the kingdom

Magical Thot: I’m also the one who heals all your asses after missions

Magical Thot: So I think I know how to treat pain

Spy Check: Next time I hurt myself, please don’t hit me into something

yEET: No no no, you can only stop the pain like that if you do it yourself

Magical Thot: Exactly

Science Bro: I mean I get the psychological effect, but like, I don’t think it physically works

Thunder Thot: LOKI I WILL SLAM THE DOOR OPEN ON YOU

Magical Thot: Ok jeez I’ll go to my own room

Thunder Thot: thank you

Thunder Thot: Loki your room is right next to mine I can hear you

Thunder Thot: Stop

Thunder Thot: Please

Magical Thot: My life is meaningless

Magical Thot: It’s just an illusion

Magical Thot: Nothing’s real

Raccoon: Ok I think it’s time to stop with the door

yEET: iT’s TiMe To StOp

yEET: Idk, I’m not even there, but like, I feel you Loki

Birdman: You ok dude?

Birdman: Need to talk about anything?

Magical Thot: When you’ve had 1,000 years to find the true meaning of your useless life, you realize that nothing makes sense except the inevitable black hole of the void that everyone is slowly walking towards, getting ready to jump

Bad Bitch: Shit that’s deep

Bad Bitch: Even for me

Fanboy: Same

Thunder Thot: Loki we’ve talked about this

Thunder Thot: No suicidal thoughts without telling me

Thunder Thot: I’m coming over to hug you

Thunder Thot: Don’t resist

Magical Thot: Why? It won’t matter. Emotions are temporary. Mine wore out years ago.

Tin Can: Oh shit, punctuation

Thunder Thot: Fine, you’ve made me resort to this

Magical Thot: tHOR YOU FUCKING BITCH WHY’D YOU DO THAT

Magical Thot: Sorry 

Magical Thot: I think I hit my head so many times that all the thoughts I buried deep in my brain, like, three years ago decided to come back out

Magical Thot: But Thor just hit me over the head with Mjolnir

Magical Thot: And my mask of “I’m fine” is back

Magical Thot: So, I will start over.

Magical Thot: sup bitches

Tin Can: I’m kinda worried that you had those thoughts in the first place

Birdman: Like I said, need to talk?

Magical Thot: I think what I already said was enough for today :)

Thunder Thot: It’d be best to not get in there, friends

Thunder Thot: Loki’s mind is a scary place

Thunder Thot: I’m pretty scared of the stuff she stores in there

Magical Thot: I’m a shitstorm inside :)

Tin Can: Saaammeeee

Science Bro: That smiley face is strangely ominous 

Raccoon: Uh huh, I was thinking the same thing

Magical Thot: :) :) :) :)

Thunder Thot: If you truly feel that way Tony, I’m sorry. I’ve seen Loki’s mind. I don’t know how she managed to live this long without going insane

Magical Thot: WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO

Magical Thot: THE “IT’S GETTING TOO DEEP IN HERE” POLICE HAVE ARRIVED

Magical Thot: I CAN BARELY STAND IN THIS SHIT AND IM 6’4

Magical Thot: TOO DEEP I SAY, TOO DEEP

Magical Thot: SURRENDER NOW

Birdman: Ok let's change the topic

yEET: Yeah, uh, what’d y’all do today? Other than the head banging stuff

Thunder Thot: I sparred

Spy Check: You mean got your ass kicked

Thunder Thot: Noooo

Spy Check: really? Cuz i remember you tapping out

Thunder Thot: … I was not using my powers

Thunder Thot: Also, I was going easy on you

Spy Check: mhm

Spy Check: Say what you have to

Magical Thot: damn, i wish i could’ve seen that

Thunder Thot: Loki, you don’t have to tell them what you did

Tin Can: What?

Magical Thot: What do you mean Thor?

Magical Thot: I obviously just decided to take a nice nap on my hardwood floor

Magical Thot: In my own blo-

Thunder Thot: Loki, please

Spy Check: Can I tell them? 

Spy Check: No one’s texting, so they’re obviously waiting to hear it

Magical Thot: Go for it

Thunder Thot: If Loki’s ok with it

Magical Thot: Thor, what do you think “go for it” means

Thunder Thot: I texted that at the same time as you sent yours

Thunder Thot: I didn’t see it

Spy Check: Anyway, apparently Loki had a panic attack and it’s just normal for her to pass out after? Idk 

Magical Thot: No, I took a nap

Magical Thot: On the floor

Magical Thot: Without trying to

Spy Check: … 

Magical Thot: Ok nvm Nat’s right

Thunder Thot: Why do you joke about these things Loki? It is serious

Magical Thot: Because it’s funny 

yEET: “ItS dIsReSpEcTfUL”

Magical Thot: tO YOU-

yEET: *high fives*

Magical Thot: *fist bumps*

Raccoon: And you’re watching Disney Channel

yEET: ??

Raccoon: Sorry, it just felt right

Magical Thot: All memes are allowed here

Science Bro: Ok the whole panic attack situation is bringing out the doctor in me so I’m gonna leave before I bring a bag of pills to Loki’s room

Magical Thot: Ok, bye my guy

Magical Thot: Hey that rhymed!

Magical Thot: So did that!

Magical Thot: Shit i broke it

yEET: that was amazing

yEET: Imma watch some movies

yEET: adios amigos

yEET: and amigas

Spy Check: Ok there may only be three of us, but thank you

Bad Bitch: represENT

Magical Thot: sMALL BUT MIGHTY

Thunder Thot: … *puppy eyes emoji*

Magical Thot: Oh no, not you Thor

Magical Thot: You’re most definitely nOT small

Thunder Thot: :)

Tin Can: *suspicious eyes emoji*

Magical Thot: nO- I didn’t mean it like that

Magical Thot: But I mean, I’m probably still right

Thunder Thot: she’s not wrong

Tin Can: ok I’m out-

Bad Bitch: same

Spy Check: byeeee

Birdman: i didn’t need that

Raccoon: me neither-

Fanboy: Mental image

Magical Thot: oop- sucks to suck i guess, bye 

Thunder Thot: You meant my muscles right?

Thunder Thot: my height and my muscles?

Thunder Thot: Loki, that’s what you meant right?

Thunder Thot: Guys?

Thunder Thot: *sigh* why is it always my muscles that get me in shit

Magical Thot: oh my sweet, very innocent brother

Magical Thot: When will you learn 

Chapter Text

Science Bro: I was thinking…

Science Bro: Is anyone in this chat actually straight?

Tin Can: ….

Thunder Thot: I am

Magical Thot: Uh, I think Bran felt otherwise. If not him, then maybe Kelvin would have something to say about that

Thunder Thot: … I-

Magical Thot: That’s what I thought

Birdman: I am

Raccoon: Of course you are

yEET: Prolly the only one

Spy Check: He can’t be, he walks too fast

Tin Can: And have you seen his coffee intake?

Fanboy: I am

Bad Bitch: Yeah? Keep thinking that then

Fanboy: I am tho!

yEET: We’ll turn him soon enough

Magical Thot: Join the gay side

Magical Thot: We have cookies, iced coffee and lots of tea

Magical Thot: Both the drink and the drama

yEET: Agreed

yEET: Also, it has been scientifically proven that no one is 100% straight

Science Bro: Yeah, I saw that somewhere

Birdman: Seriously guys, I don’t like guys

Magical Thot: Oh great, more for me

Thunder Thot: I thought you said you weren’t gonna date any more mortals, brother?

Magical Thot: We don’t know where Sam’s going, and also, we’re kinda stuck here since the Bifrost is gone, so, may as well make the most of it

Thunder Thot: True

Birdman: I’d like to stay on Earth, thank you very much

Magical Thot: You’re really missing out on that one, but fine ig

Thunder Thot: I bet that’s why he insists he is straight

Magical Thot: Those alien boys do be hittin different

Raccoon: I wanna go with you when y’all go back to space

Thunder Thot: If Loki’s teleportation can get us there, then sure

Magical Thot: I do have some passageways….

Thunder Thot: As long as you don’t run us into a mountain then of course you do

Magical Thot: And who safely transported you and your dying now-ex-girlfriend through said mountain?

Thunder Thot: I’m not sure about safely, but you did do the transporting right

Magical Thot: You’re still alive and so is she, I’d call it safe

yEET: So as long as no one dies, it’s safe?

Tin Can: nO!

Magical Thot: Of course

Spy Check: Uh

yEET: Great opinions guys

yEET: A+ for not fighting it out

Spy Check: Yeah good point

yEET: Anyway, do any of you know how to get rid of a stink bug without it smelling?

Tin Can: Just throw it out the window

yEET: But my window’s really high, it’s like a forced suicide

Magical Thot: By forced suicide you mean murder

yEET: Yeah, but like, i’d be forcing it to jump

Tin Can: No, you’d be throwing it out the window

Spy Check: Just do what your username says and yEET it

yEET: But it’ll get hurt!

Bad Bitch: It’s gonna get hurt if you hit it against the wall too, except it would smell if you did that

Thunder Thot: If you don’t want to throw it from your window, or smash it, then just pick it up in a paper towel, go to your ground floor and politely release it out into the world

yEET: Good idea! I’ll go do that now before May sees it, screams and flings something at it

Magical Thot: Wow Thor, you just prevented a murder

Birdman: A murder that will probably happen anyway because of New York’s traffic and constant speeding of cars

Tin Can: Shut up, straight

Raccoon: Don’t ruin this for him

yEET: Ok I’m back

yEET: He successfully left the premises 

Magical Thot: Good for him, that wayward soul

yEET: yES

yEET: Someone understands

Thunder Thot: He will do great things

Spy Check: Yes he will

Tin Can: He’s gonna be an amazing bug

Birdman: No he won’t

Raccoon: Because he already is

Raccoon: Shut up Sam

Bad Bitch: We should create a cult of stink bugs

Fanboy: Yes we should

yEET: Dang it

yEET: I should have kept it

yEET: He could’ve been the leader

yEET: Oh well, maybe our paths will cross again someday

Magical Thot: Maybe he’ll be reborn as a mortal and come to thank you

yEET: That’d be lit

yEET: By the time he is old enough to find me, I’ll probably be an adult somewhere

yEET: But I will nEVER forget him

Spy Check: none of us will

Thunder Thot: I will make a spot for him on our altar

Tin Can: Altar?

Thunder Thot: It is a Norse tradition to honor deceased loved ones with an altar of things they liked, or candles that they can communicate through

Thunder Thot: Mortals would make altars to worship us as gods, but we do it for our loved ones

Magical Thot: In Thor’s room, he has Odin’s altar and I have Frigga’s in my room

yEET: That’s sweet dudes

Magical Thot: Do you think Odin or Frigga would like a beetle being added to their altar?

Thunder Thot: Mother was always one for nature

Magical Thot: Then his space shall go on Mother’s altar

yEET: Guys I’m honored

yEET: But you don’t have to do that, it was just a bug

Birdman: See?!

Birdman: I told y’all

Magical Thot: I mean, I have an extra candle, but

yEET: No, keep it, I feel bad now

yEET: I was mainly playing into it

yEET: However, I am still open to a stink bug cult

Bad Bitch: STINK BUG CULT

Fanboy: ^^^

Raccoon: Ok you guys have fun with that

Raccoon: I’m going to bed, it’s late

Magical Thot: *cough* pussy *cough*

Tin Can: Ayy, another 3am-er

Raccoon: Ok, but at least I wake up at a decent time, unlike you two who wake up exhausted at 12pm

Magical Thot: joke’s on you

Magical Thot: I didn’t sleep at all last night

yEET: Loki, go to sleep please

Magical Thot: I- but-

Thunder Thot: Give in Loki, you can never refuse your own children, he’s no different at this point

Magical Thot: But-but-but- Netflix

Magical Thot: Also I drank coffee like an hour ago

Magical Thot: How am I supposed to sleep now

yEET: Have Thor knock you out with Mjolnir

Magical Thot: No not again

Magical Thot: I’ll just “go to sleep”

Magical Thot: yeah

Magical Thot: bye

Thunder Thot: Loki, actually go to sleep please

Magical Thot: sorry, what?

Magical Thot: I’m not on my phone

Magical Thot: I’m “sleeping”

Magical Thot: GoOd NiGhT

Thunder Thot: you know what, fine

Thunder Thot: I’ll actually go to bed now, and we’ll see who’s in a better mood tmr

Thunder Thot: Bye

Bad Bitch: If y’all are looking at me, sorry, but I’m going for my Netflix

Bad Bitch: Bye

Fanboy: I’ve got the same plan as MJ

Fanboy: Bye

Spy Check: I’m gonna go force Tony to go to sleep

Tin Can: No! I am an adult, I am perfectly capable of

yEET: What?

Spy Check: Oh, yeah, I knocked him out

Spy Check: Alright goodnight guys

Birdman: goodnight, Imma be responsible and go to bed too

Science Bro: I was not paying attention to this entire conversation

Science Bro: But goodnight

yEET: I love how I pretty much guilted everyone into going to sleep

yEET: But imma be on TikTok till like 4am anyway

yEET: lol bye

Chapter Text

Ayo uhhh I am so sorry- I have been totally gone on here for ages. School hit and then depression hit and yeah I couldn't rlly get the motivation to post- but my writing motivation decided to come back and I still have a bunch of chapters that I haven't posted for this yet so expect those soon unless I lose motivation again-? Idk, BUT I wrote a short little angsty fic that I'll be posting once I write an A/N for my other series :) Once again, I'm sorry for leaving you guys! Hopefully I'll be back to posting more regularly.

Chapter Text

yEET: Wow we rlly left this chat didn’t we

Bad Bitch: But now we’re back

Raccoon: Backstreet’s back

Magical Thot: ALRIGHT

Birdman: Duh, duh na na na

Fanboy: Get it boys

Tin Can: Okay, Loki, you’ve been oddly quiet today

Spy Check: Are you kidding Tony?! He fucked all my shit up today

Thunder Thot: I mean, for his day of celebration he hasn’t even done anything too bad to me

Thunder Thot: I mean, he did the usual mischief shit to me, but, not like I’m not used to it

Magical Thot: Alright challenge accepted Thunder Thot

yEET: ooooohhhhhhh

Birdman: He flipped my wings around so they were on the wrong sides of my back and upside down

Birdman: Safe to say I took a spiraled landing into central park

Raccoon: Did the cops come?

Birdman: Yeah but I said April Fools and yeeted outta there

Magical Thot: This is like my second birthday here

Magical Thot: Lemme have fun

yEET: Oh my god Loki you’re two?

Magical Thot: Spider Child i swear-

Science Bro: Do you guys know how many babies were born today, and when the parents called to tell people they were probably like “great April Fools joke”

Spy Check: True tho

Thunder Thot: Ok guys I’ll be back in a little bit I have to take a shower

Thunder Thot: Loki if you come into my shower dressed like a murderer with a knife again I may just accidentally kill you

Tin Can: Again?

Magical Thot: I was 9, he was 17

Magical Thot: Ok, I won’t, wasn’t actually thinking about it anyway tbh

Magical Thot: Have a nice shower, Brother :)

Science Bro: Oh there’s that ominous smile again

Magical Thot: :)

Science Bro: That chemical switch you did in my lab today, quite a nice color, it kinda blew up a bit of the floor tho

Tin Can: He prolly meant to do that

Magical Thot: Yeah, I mean, I’m familiar with many chemicals

Magical Thot: Think about it, my colors are green black and gold and the explosion was bright emerald

Raccoon: Shoulda put it together Bruce

Raccoon: Anyway, I applaud you for your prank on me

Raccoon: It’s not just everyday when you wake up upside down plastic wrapped to your bed, and everything is on the ceiling with you

Magical Thot: Hey, you guys said nothing dangerous or fatal, so I had to be creative

Tin Can: That green touch to my suits was pretty nice, it went great with the gold already there

Tin Can: But unfortunately, red is more my style, I washed them off

Magical Thot: Dammit I thought I used magical permanent paint

Magical Thot: Oh well

yEET: When did you do all this?

Magical Thot: At night

Magical Thot: Who needs sleep? Pranks are more important when you’re the God of Mischief. This day was quite literally meant for me

Science Bro: I mean I’m not surprised, you’re living with a bunch of former enemies, why wouldn’t you pull some pranks

Magical Thot: As for Thor’s pranks, He woke up soaking cuz I summoned some ocean water to wake him up. Then I swapped out his coffee for tea, which he hates. I even shrunk his training gear (which took effort btw)! I stabbed him a few times, once hiding in a cabinet that I sat in for an hour. I stuck him to the stairs for an hour too! But he still didn’t think it was enough… so I had to activate plan E(e for extreme)

Birdman: What the hell did you do that’s more mischievous than that

Magical Thot: Well.. he’s taking a shower… I may have switched his shampoo with quick-activating hair dye

Tin Can: Oh my god this is gonna be great

Bad Bitch: What color?

Magical Thot: Royal blue, also it’s semi-permanent, so it should stay in for a few months

Magical Thot: Also, he uses blue tinted shampoo anyway, so he shouldn’t notice right away

Spy Check: How do you know that?

Magical Thot: I get his shampoo for him cuz he thinks that 3 in 1 shower gel is appropriate… also i was gonna plant it last night so i went in his shower, but i decided to wait on it and left

yEET: Ugh, 3 in 1

Magical Thot: i knowwww

Birdman: I was just walking past his room, I heard the water turn off

Magical Thot: any second now… :)

Thunder Thot: LOKI RAKSA ODINSON  *yes I made up a middle name for him*

Thunder Thot: GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW

Magical Thot: Sorry that’s gonna be a no, see, you’ll have to come find me

Thunder Thot: YOU LITTLE SHIT

Magical Thot: Guilty as charged :)

Tin Can: oH MY GOD HIS HAIR

Thunder Thot: sHUT UP

*Tin Can has sent a picture*

yEET: yEESSSS THOOORRRR

Spy Check: Oh my god ur right

Birdman: Loki where tf are you?

Magical Thot: I can’t just say it on here!

Raccoon: He just passed me

Raccoon: It smells like blueberry

Thunder Thot: Shut up Barnes

Birdman: do all Asgardians use last names when they’re mad?

Magical Thot: … 

Magical Thot: fuck

Thunder Thot: Alright guys, now go find Loki

Magical Thot: You dumbass I can just tell them I’m in Tony’s old lab

Magical Thot: You can’t stop me from saying that on here

Thunder Thot: No, but I can do this

Magical Thot: Hey guys, it’s Thor

Thunder Thot: Hey guys, it’s Loki, I teleported Thor’s phone to me

Magical Thot: I’d come get it but I just walked all the way back up the stairs so

Magical Thot: Have fun remembering who’s who

Tin Can: Shit Imma forget

Spy Check: same

Thunder Thot: Okay, at first i was chill with laying on the hard floor in the dark with Mjolnir on my chest

Thunder Thot: I seem to have forgotten that Mjolnir gets heavier since I can’t lift it and eventually it could break through my ribs and go right to the floor

Thunder Thot: But I’ll just have to trust that my Brother will come around to his new hairstyle and won’t let me suffer down here for the rest of the night

Magical Thot: My turn

Magical Thot: :)

Thunder Thot: Ok you’re royally blue and I’m royally fucked I guess

Magical Thot: Well, you’re royally blue too technically

Science Bro: Hey you guys match now

Thunder Thot: Best of both worlds

yEET: Are you telling me that you relate to Hannah Montana

Bad Bitch: bECAUSE YOU GET THE

yEET: BEEEEEEESST OF BOTH WORLDS

Fanboy: cHILL IT OUT TAKE IT SLOW

Raccoon: THEN YOU ROCK OUT THE SHOW

Thunder Thot: I’ll watch that next if Thor ever lets me out

yEET: Wait srsly??

Thunder Thot: Yeah, not like I have anything better to do

Bad Bitch: Thor let him out

Bad Bitch: He needs to watch it

Thunder Thot: Brother, you should be happy I’m not in my female form

Magical Thot: No, you should be happy. It would hurt a lot more if you were

Thunder Thot: Bitch I-

Thunder Thot: You’re lucky I’m trapped here

Magical Thot: i know i am, that’s why i did it

Magical Thot: You should be happy you’re far away, or I’d be coming back down to get my phone from you

Magical Thot: Or just watch you get increasingly annoyed

yEET: Alright, my turn for a shower, Loki pls don’t dye my hair

Thunder Thot: I can’t and I wouldn’t

yEET: Alright bye

Bad Bitch: wait for it

yEET: haha April Fools I’m still here

yEET: Ok, I’m actually leaving now, bye

Tin Can: Bye, kid

Tin Can: Do good in school tmr

Birdman: ??

Tin Can: Gotta motivate him somehow

Fanboy: I’m wanna prank someone

Fanboy: To the internet I go *peace emoji*

Bad Bitch: *peace emoji*

Bad Bitch: Shit I forgot to April Fools prank my mom

Bad Bitch: Loki, any ideas that are safe

Thunder Thot: You came to both the wrong person and the perfect person

Thunder Thot: Uhhh, do the plastic wrap on the door thingy where they run into it

Bad Bitch: Ooh good idea

Bad Bitch: gtg bye

Thunder Thot: have fun

Thunder Thot: I’ll just be here

Thunder Thot: ...

Thunder Thot: My ass is cold

Raccoon: wh-

Thunder Thot: Don’t worry I’m not naked or anything

Thunder Thot: I’m just on cold concrete and for some reason my ass is the coldest

Thunder Thot: idk why

Spy Check: Ok then

Spy Check: imma go prank Steve

Spy Check: What did you do to him Loki he looks sad

Thunder Thot: I shrunk his old suit from 2012

Spy Check: That was a memory tho!

Tin Can: Eh, did nothing for his ass

Thunder Thot: It was already tight, did you see that thing?

Spy Check: Maybe I’ll go comfort him

Spy Check: And prank him in the process, idk

Spy Check: Bye

Tin Can: bye, enjoy the sulky captain

Science Bro: I gotta rearrange my chemicals

Science Bro: again

Science Bro: *cough* Loki *cough*

Thunder Thot: Alright then, toodles :)

Science Bro: Stop it with that fucking smile

Science Bro: It’s unnerving

Thunder Thot: :

Thunder Thot: )

Science Bro: That’s even creepier

Science Bro: I’m out

Raccoon: Same, there’s still some stuff on the ceiling for me to pull down

Tin Can: shorty

Raccoon: Bitch don’t even get me started you little 5 foot 7 gremlin

Raccoon: Literally almost every avenger is taller than you

Tin Can: Alright alright you didn’t have to go that hard

Tin Can: Go do your ceiling shit

Raccoon: Alright bye bitches

Birdman: Bye bitch

Birdman: The biggest bitch of all

Birdman: Ok no, I think Loki takes that

Thunder Thot: :)

Birdman: Ok, imma just go

Birdman: Bye

Magical Thot: Bye

Magical Thot: Loki’s phone is almost dead, so I’m gonna be nice and charge it for him

Magical Thot: Bye

Tin Can: Bye Blueberry 2.0

Magical Thot: *mad emoji*

Tin Can: Anyone here? No? Alright bye then

Thunder Thot: Fuck, I leave for one second and everyone’s gone

Thunder Thot: Wait

Thunder Thot: Thor

Thunder Thot: Alright, you’ve made your point

Thunder Thot: Really, its hair, it’ll grow back

Thunder Thot: Thor?

Thunder Thot: I’m starting to not breath correctly

Thunder Thot: Thor come on

Thunder Thot: I’m serious Thor, it’s over now

Thunder Thot: Brother please

Thunder Thot: I’m sorry

Thunder Thot: April Fools no I’m not

Thunder Thot: But still

Thunder Thot: tHOR

Thunder Thot: Come and get me dammit

Thunder Thot: You’re not just gonna leave me down here all night are you?

Thunder Thot: I said that as a joke

Thunder Thot: Ok, I know you put my phone down, so I’ll wait until you get yours, cuz we know you’ll be too bored without it

Thunder Thot: I’m not gonna panic

Thunder Thot: It’ll be fine

*2 a.m.*

Thunder Thot: day 23 in the chamber

Thunder Thot: They haven’t found me yet, but when they do they're gonna be surprised

Thunder Thot: Ok no, that was a joke

Thunder Thot: Also, it’s not April Fools Day anymore Thot

Thunder Thot: Thor*

Thunder Thot: Nvm Thot

Thunder Thot: It’s starting to hurt now

Thunder Thot: Thor your fucking hammer’s gonna break my rib

Thunder Thot: Again

Thunder Thot: Wow, you’re really gonna sleep without your hammer just for this little prank?

Thunder Thot: Wow

Thunder Thot: Ok I’m done teasing

Thunder Thot: Please Thor

Thunder Thot: I hear things

Thunder Thot: I’m pretty sure this place is so old that there’s rats

Thunder Thot: I don’t want rat shit on me

Thunder Thot: Please come get me

Thunder Thot: Or at least get the hammer off me

Thunder Thot: I’ve never been too fond of the dark

Thunder Thot: I hate pitch blackness Thor and you know that

Thunder Thot: It gives me bad memories

Thunder Thot: Come on, give it up

Thunder Thot: I’m not lying Thor, come get me

Thunder Thot: Fine, fine, I’ll just stick it out

Thunder Thot: i can do it

Thunder Thot: I just won’t think about what could be there if my eyes are closed

Thunder Thot: Yeah, I can do this

Thunder Thot: Don’t worry about me

Thunder Thot: I’ll be perfectly fine

Thunder Thot: ʰᵉˡᵖ ᵐᵉ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ

*Thor did end up getting Mjolnir off him, at 4 a.m. Loki was asleep, but had nightmares, so Thor carried him to his bed and tucked him in, like in the old days. Happy end for all :)*

Chapter Text

yEET: It’s 4/20

yEET: Fuck yeah

Tin Can: pETER

yEET: Sorry Mr. Stark :(

Tin Can: If Cap were here he’d yell at you about how drugs are bad and not to curse

Tin Can: But he’s not

Tin Can: So fuck that happy 4/20 stoners

yEET: :))

Thunder Thot: What does that number mean?

yEET: You’ll see in time

Magical Thot: Indeed you will, Brother :)

Chapter Text

yEET: Y'all I’m lonely 

Magical Thot: I wish I was lonely

Thunder Thot: No you don’t

Magical Thot: Yes I do

Thunder Thot: Shall I bring up last night?

Magical Thot: Do it and I will remove your head from your shoulders like you should’ve done to Thanos

Thunder Thot: I- okay then

yEET: Wow I love how the only two to respond are the ones who just recently learned how to use phones

Tin Can: it’s cuz they don’t know how to turn off notifications

Thunder Thot: Of course I do! You just hit the little button on the side of the device!

Magical Thot: you idiot, that’s the off button

Thunder Thot: Oh

Bad Bitch: But then he hit the little button

Fanboy: and the car went boom

yEET: We like the cars!

Bad Bitch: The cars that go boom

Fanboy: We’re Tigra

yEET: And Bunny 

Bad Bitch: And we like the boom

Birdman: What the hell was that

Raccoon: Don’t even ask

Shrinky: it’s TikTok

Raccoon: wh-

Birdman: how do you know that

Shrinky: I have a daughter, of course I know that

Magical Thot: Oh yeah, forgot to mention, I watched the entirety of Hannah Montana bc of our last convo

yEET: OMG YESSSS

Magical Thot: That lace front is definitely magical

Bad Bitch: Yeah obviously

Bad Bitch: She swings the bitch over her head and suddenly it’s perfectly placed, no bumps, even if her hair was in a bun

Fanboy: Fuck the properties of matter, we should study the properties of Hannah’s wig

yEET: Periodt

Spy Check: Is there a new Hannah fan

yEET: There is

Magical Thot: In the flesh

Science Bro: Of course this is the conversation that starts up after almost a month of silence

Tin Can: You thought you got out didn’t you

Science Bro: *sigh* yes

yEET: Ok guys, since we’ve been gone, I think we should add a new member

Bad Bitch: SINCE YOU BEEN GOOOOONNNNEEEE

Magical Thot: I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME

Fanboy: I’M SO MOVIN OOOONNN

yEET: YEEEAAHH YEEEAAAHH

yEET: *coughs* ok, seriously tho, imma add someone

*yEET has added Clint Barton to the chat*

Magical Thot: Fuck

Clint Barton: LaNgUaGe

Clint Barton: idek who you are but

Clint Barton: I’m saying it for Cap

Clint Barton: Wait who am I texting

Shrinky: Hey Clint!

Clint Barton: who the hell is shrinky

yEET: No no no

yEET: no real names on this Christian Minecraft Server

*Clint Barton’s name has been changed to Cacaw*

Cacaw: that’s not the sound a hawk makes

yEET: huuuuu ok then

*Cacaw’s name has been changed to SCREE*

SCREE: better

*SCREE’s name has been changed to Eye Hawk*

Eye Hawk: who just did that

Magical Thot: That would be me

Eye Hawk: that doesn’t answer my question

yEET: *sigh* here we g- actually no

yEET: you gotta guess who everyone is

Eye Hawk: ok well Tin Can has got to be Tony

Tin Can: correct

Eye Hawk: Birdman is Sam

Birdman: yup

Eye Hawk: is Shrinky Scott?

Shrinky: yes it is

yEET: why are you good at this

Spy Check: he’s a spy

Eye Hawk: hi Nat

Spy Check: hello

Eye Hawk: Bruce is Science Bro, that’s obvious

Science Bro: Yeah

Eye Hawk: Idk who the hell yEET is, or Bad Bitch and Fanboy for that matter

yEET: Yes, he’s been fooled

Bad Bitch: yee

Fanboy: yee

Eye Hawk: Ok, well based on reasons, I feel like Fanboy is Ned

Fanboy: aw, he caught me

Eye Hawk: so then that would make yEET Peter and Bad Bitch MJ

yEET: why didn’t you think i was Bad Bitch? *shy face*

Eye Hawk: I know you Peter

yEET: ok true

Eye Hawk: is Magical Thot Wanda?

Magical Thot: hA- no

Magical Thot: nothing against her, just, no

Eye Hawk: oh wait, Thunder Thot is defo Thor

Thunder Thot: … indeed

Eye Hawk: Well then hi Loki

Magical Thot: bitch i-

Magical Thot: Thor you keep giving me away with ur stupid thunder

Thunder Thot: I didn’t choose this life

Eye Hawk: why does Loki know meme-speak

Tin Can: they spend too much time around Peter

Magical Thot: no i do not

Magical Thot: I would not spend time with him during a pandemic and cause him harm like that *cough* even tho i can’t catch the virus *cough*

Tin Can: *sigh* you know what I mean

yEET: I love how Clint isn’t roasting the shit out of Loki

yEET: I thought this would go way worse

Eye Hawk: I mean I would, but they were mind controlled and definitely for longer than I was, so I can’t blame them for what happened

Eye Hawk: also when we fought Thanos, I felt that same feeling, and worse around him then I ever did around Loki, so I could tell it wasn’t him

Eye Hawk: so, we good?

Magical Thot: *wipes tear* y- yes

Magical Thot: bruh, he believes me AND got my pronouns right? What a world

Eye Hawk: one question tho

Magical Thot: shoot

Magical Thot: wait no not literally

Eye Hawk: No i- ok, since you changed my name to this

Eye Hawk: what the hell is an Eye Hawk

yEET: don’t question them

Magical Thot: yeah

Magical Thot: but honestly, it could probably be some creature somewhere, i just thought of it and my mind agreed

Tin Can: but ur mind thought about it- ur mind agreed with itself? 

Magical Thot: yes of course

Magical Thot: that’s how thoughts are made

Magical Thot: I mean, my mind rarely agrees with itself but I guess it did when I made up Clint’s name

yEET: It did a good job

Magical Thot: I’ll tell it that

yEET: good

Eye Hawk: i- ok then

Raccoon: OMG, INSTEAD OF EYE HAWK IT SHOULD BE iHAWK LIKE APPLE

yEET: omg, iHawk in stores soon

Tin Can: patented by Stark Industries

Thunder Thot: but his name is Hawkeye, so shouldn’t it be Hawki

Magical Thot: Hawki (pronounced Hawkee) 

Spy Check: I agree with Loki

Birdman: that sounds like ur trying to say Hockey with a Jersey accent

Science Bro: or maybe New York accent

Raccoon: or just an American accent in the 40’s

Eye Hawk: can we stop arguing about my name please

Spy Check: ok Hawkee

Eye Hawk: fuck you

Spy Check: love you too <3

Eye Hawk: 3<

yEET: *gasp*

Bad Bitch: *gASP*

Fanboy: *GASP*

Magical Thot: is that supposed to be a frowning ballsack

yEET: bITCH I-

Bad Bitch: i never looked at it that way

Magical Thot: no srsly, that’s all I see

Thunder Thot: Yeah, your name isn’t lying

Magical Thot: Then I guess yours isn’t either

Eye Hawk: ooh roasted

Raccoon: burn baby burn

Birdman: Bucky, what the fuck is burn baby burn

Raccoon: idk i’m confused too

Shrinky: so am i

Science Bro: ^^^

Magical Thot: that’s it, 3< is my new emoji for being bratty

Thunder Thot: why

Magical Thot: it looks like a frowning ballsack and also like a stubborn/bratty face

Magical Thot: i claim that

Magical Thot: 3< 3< 3<

Thunder Thot: 3>

Magical Thot: ew no 

yEET: what do you see

Magical Thot: Ballsack in an ice cream cone

Thunder Thot: nO-

yEET: the visionary has spoken

Eye Hawk: yeah I see it

Bad Bitch: I think we all do

Thunder Thot: ok bc everyone is hating on my emoji choices

Thunder Thot: and Loki started it

Thunder Thot: I’m gonna tell you what happened last night

Magical Thot: Thor

yEET: oh I’ve been waiting for this since you said it

yEET: i was about to private text u

Thunder Thot: ok here it is - they had a nightmare and came into my room like they used to when we were little, and they couldn’t fall asleep until they finally swallowed their pride and let me hug them

yEET: aawww Loki’s a cuddler!

Eye Hawk: that’s adorable

Shrinky: it really is

Raccoon: I mean, Loki’s gonna be pissed, but that was so worth knowing

Magical Thot: bitch

Tin Can: ok as much as that is adorable, the fact that Loki didn’t actually blow up just now scares me

Spy Check: same

Magical Thot: No, it’s totally fine.

Magical Thot: I’m not mad.

Magical Thot: Thor, have a good night.

Magical Thot: :)

Thunder Thot: oh fuck

yEET: punctuation

Tin Can: oh they’re not mad, they’re furious

Birdman: Thor I’d run

Thunder Thot: I don’t hear anything

Thunder Thot: They’re gonna attack me in my sleep

yEET: nah but they wouldn’t kill you

Thunder Thot: are u sure

Spy Check: if they wanted you dead, you wouldn’t be texting us rn

Thunder Thot: ur right

Tin Can: right, well, guess we’ll find out what happens tmr

Tin Can: I’m going to sl(work in the lab)eep

Tin Can: bye

yEET: byeeee

Science Bro: imma come join you, bye guys

Birdman: bye

Spy Check: I’m actually tired bc sOMEONE woke me up at 4am, so I’m gonna go to bed

Eye Hawk: I swear there was something in there with me

Eye Hawk: you know I don’t like rats

Spy Check: ur lucky I’m trained to wake up to wild Clints falling out of vents right on top of me

Spy Check: or else you may be dead rn

Spy Check: anyway, bye

Eye Hawk: bye

Raccoon: wait, why were u in the vents at 4am

Eye Hawk:

Eye Hawk: alright bye

Birdman: bye?

Raccoon: bye

Birdman: bye

yEET: it ain’t no lie, baby bye bye bye

Fanboy: BYE BYE

Bad Bitch: bi bi*

yEET: true

Fanboy: ok actually bye

yEET: bye

Bad Bitch: why does that word look so weird now

Shrinky: i know, right?

Shrinky: shit, i gotta put my daughter to sleep, i forgot

Shrinky: ok bye

Bad Bitch: bye bye

yEET: BYE

Bad Bitch: BYE

*2 am*

Magical Thot: that was an amazing ending

Magical Thot: and I know most of u think im gonna kill Thor

Magical Thot: no, I’m not

Magical Thot: I’m gonna shave his eyebrows

Magical Thot: nothing like a good old fashioned prank

Magical Thot: lucky me, he’s a heavy sleeper

Magical Thot: I’ll get back to you all tmr

Magical Thot: i probably won’t be in my room in the morning

Magical Thot: but I’m not gonna say where I’m hiding, cuz Thor will see this

Magical Thot: so, goodnight everyone

Magical Thot: see you in the morning 3< ;)

Chapter Text

yEET: guys did we forget we’re still in quarantine or

yEET: cuz like we all just abandoned this *skull emoji*

Magical Thot: chat’s been as dead as my soul

yEET: :(

Tin Can: Y’all can’t just start the party without me, I AM the party

Magical Thot: who said we wanted a party

Raccoon: yes, this is just a calm gathering:)

Birdman: with you guys? Not for long

Spy Check: he’s right

Thunder Thot: hello friends!

Bad Bitch: so are your eyebrows back

Thunder Thot: …..no 

Magical Thot: :)

Thunder Thot: you like my eyebrows tho :(

Magical Thot: what makes you believe that

Thunder Thot: you constantly make fun of me without them so

Magical Thot: i honestly don't care if you have eyebrows or not

Magical Thot: however, it does look pretty funny when ur mad

Thunder Thot: we don’t speak of that

Science Bro: it kinda looks like ur forehead just like shriveled when u got mad

Thunder Thot: i said we dO NOT SPEAK OF THAT-

Magical Thot: careful Bruce, his brow bones might arch at you

Thunder Thot: :(((((

Magical Thot: :)))))

Shrinky: :)(

Eye Hawk: :()

Fanboy: that kinda looks like a frog opening its mouth

yEET: it doES-

Raccoon: genius

Magical Thot: amazing

Thunder Thot: *clapping emojis*

Magical Thot: shut up megamind

Thunder Thot: what did i do to deserve that name

Magical Thot: ur forehead looks bigger without ur eyebrows and ur hair is still kinda blue

Tin Can: if I shaved your head and put u in ice you’d be megamind Loki

Magical Thot: Would you like your severed arms up your asshole?

Tin Can: I’m not gonna respond to that out of fear

yEET: as you should 

Eye Hawk: you should be glad you don’t have to go on any zoom calls w ur face showing

Thunder Thot: i believe i’d be the laughing stock of the avengers

Magical Thot: i-

Magical Thot: i’m not gonna say what i just thought

Thunder Thot: was it along the lines of “you already are”

Magical Thot: … possibly

yEET: of course it was- it’s L o k i

yEET: speaking of

yEET: @raccoon

Raccoon: what do you want

yEET: you know what i want

Raccoon: …. History homework? 

yEET: eye-

yEET: you kNOW what im talking about dont play dumb

Magical Thot: calm down peter or else he’ll send you every war document he owns

Raccoon: I’ve done it before

Bad Bitch: I have a feeling this isn’t about homework, considering its august

Tin Can: no shit

Spy Check: i have this name for a reason

Spy Check: i will NOT hesitate to spy check ur ass Peter

yEET: hEY- why is this on me?

Magical Thot: cuz none of us know what u want from the fucking raccoon

Magical Thot: trash?

Raccoon: i feel like that was a dig

Thunder Thot: loki be nice to the rabbit

Raccoon: eye- I’m not rocket-

Birdman: i like how we’re all hating on Bonky

Birdman: can i join?

Magical Thot: eYE-

Magical Thot: B ø n k y

yEET: B Ø N K Y

Raccoon: please don’t change my name

Shrinky: i kinda like Bonky

Bad Bitch: pETER put the bonk filter on a picture of bu- bonky rn

yEET: bet

Raccoon: what

Magical Thot: shut up, ur becoming a meme

*yEET has sent a video*

Magical Thot: this is the Bonky content i signed up for

Bad Bitch: Yes, Captain America and Bonky, the best duo

Birdman: OH MY LORD

Birdman: tHAT VIDEO WHERE SOMEONE TAKES WHERE STEVE SAW HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME AND STEVE GOES “....bOnKy?” I CAN’T

Magical Thot: a personal favorite

Raccoon: wh- send me the video pleathe

*Bad Bitch has sent a video*

Raccoon: okay i actually love that what

Science Bro: you like ur own crack videos-

Magical Thot: i love mine too

Thunder Thot: same

yEET: yeha me too

Tin Can: my fans are very creative :)

Birdman: ppl just make crack compilations of me running next to steve or running into windows *skull emoji*

Raccoon: sucks to suck i guess

yEET: WE HAVE GOTTEN OFF TOPIC

yEET: @Raccoon @Magical Thot

Raccoon: we’re both literally in the chat you don’t have to tag us

yEET: I AM CALLING YOU TO COME FORTH 

yEET: CONFESS

Magical Thot: okay fine

yEET: YES FINALLY

Magical Thot: i ate the last poptart

Raccoon: i took most of Sam’s crash videos

Thunder Thot: LOKI?!

Birdman: eye- i can’t say i’m surprised but

Magical Thot: hey it was 4am and i was hungry, it’s the first thing i grabbed

Magical Thot: but i did buy you more the next morning :)

Thunder Thot: okay you are forgiven

Spy Check: I have a feeling that that wasn’t what you expected Peter

yEET: n- no

Eye Hawk: what were you expecting? 

yEET: i can’t sAY

Spy Check: don’t look at me Clint i don’t know either

Tin Can: well

Tin Can: according to Peter, sOMETHING is going on w Loki n Bonky, so spill

Shrinky: weren’t they the two who were mind controlled the longest?

Birdman: did you two do crime

yEET: nO guys they did nothing illegal and they didn’t go back into like mind control or something i swear its nothing bad

yEET: actually its very good :)

Thunder Thot: brother what did you do

Magical Thot: *cough* sibling *cough* and nothing :)

Science Bro: theres that fucking smile again

Magical Thot: :))

Raccoon: :)))

Magical Thot: don’t try and one up me Bonky :(

Raccoon: :((

Magical Thot :O

Magical Thot: dONT

Raccoon: ;)

Eye Hawk: ew

Eye Hawk: wait- 

Spy Check: the wink

Birdman: if i didn’t know better i’d say that was a f l i r t

Science Bro: do you?

Birdman: do i?

Tin Can: know better…?

Thunder Thot: sibling?

Magical Thot: fuck u guys

Magical Thot: especially bOnKy

Magical Thot: and Hawkee too

Magical Thot: :(

Raccoon: bruv-

Raccoon: i am just a raccoon

Raccoon: spare me

Magical Thot: what

Raccoon: s p a r e  m e

Magical Thot: we’ll see :)

Tin Can: stop w the smiley face you homicidal twik 

Tin Can: twink*

Bad Bitch: no no loki is a twik

Birdman: nah he’s a full twink, n included

Magical Thot: bitch i don’t need the n

Magical Thot: I AM the n

Thunder Thot: what’s the n?

Birdman: prolly narcissistic 

Raccoon: bitch ur narcissistic 

Magical Thot: no no i am narcissistic carry on

yEET: how are y’all spelling narcisisisitic

yEET: also

yEET: bOnKy why so defensive????

Raccoon: cuz Sam’s a bitch

yEET: but he wasn’t bein a bitch to you

Raccoon: its second hand bitchery

yEET: for Loki?

Raccoon: no, when he’s a bitch to anyone, he’s a bitch to me. He’s just a bitch

yEET: yeha but i think loki got a special spot

Magical Thot: mhm and what about it

Magical Thot: i’m special :)

Birdman: i see no one defending me for being called a bitch

Raccoon: bc it’s true

Magical Thot: ^^^^ sorry

Tin Can: there was so much bitch in those lasts texts

Tin Can: both the ppl and the words

yEET: ENOUGH

yEET: GUYS

yEET: LOKI AND BONKY ARE HIDING SOMETHING

Magical Thot: I’m literally the god of lies child

Magical Thot: i usually am

Spy Check: fine

Spy Check: you leave me no choice

Magical Thot: huh

Raccoon: hello everyone, Natasha speaking

Raccoon: i’m going thru this sneaky bitch’s phone

Raccoon: it doesn’t look like Loki’s in here- oh

Raccoon: No Loki, but there is a “Doll *multiple heart emojis*”

*Raccoon has sent a screenshot* 

Tin Can: yeah those are definitely from Loki

Eye Hawk: how do u know that?

Thunder Thot: look at how they’re talking. It’s clearly them

Eye Hawk: no one but Thor and Loki talk that sophisticated, and the hint of meme in there is definitely Loki

Thunder Thot: why can’t i meme?

yEET: we have not taught you yet

Thunder Thot: can you? Please? I wish to understand

yEET: it would be an  h o n o r

Spy Check: alright i gave Bonky his phone back, i’ve seen enough to know that they are very much in love :)

Birdman: out of everyone, Loki chooses bOnKy??

Bad Bitch: jealous?

Birdman: no, just Bonky is, how do i put this, completely unappealing 

Spy Check: to you

Science Bro: i think you guys scared them away

Science Bro: even tho u took bOnKy’s phone, loki still hasn’t said anything

Raccoon: i’d appreciate if you guys stopped writing my name like that

Magical Thot: why

Raccoon: cuz it’s annoying

Magical Thot: suck it up it’s ur name in my phone now :)

yEET: mine too

Spy Check: yup

Birdman: yeah

Science Bro: guilty

Tin Can: bOnKy shoulda started a while ago

Shrinky: ur in my phone as creepy mask dude

Bad Bitch: ur just Bucky in my phone but now i’ll change it

Fanboy: ur still Bucky, i’m too scared to change it 

Thunder Thot: if my sibling approves the name then i shall change it now

Magical Thot: the bOnKy army is formed

Raccoon: :(

Magical Thot: don’t worry i still left the hearts by ur name

Raccoon: :)

Magical Thot: :)

yEET: that was cute :))

Spy Check: yeah it was

Spy Check: stop

Magical Thot: well you all desperately wanted in on our relationship so now we can be cute whenever we want

Raccoon: it’s the price you pay for knowledge

Eye Hawk: does Steve know?

Magical Thot: yeah, i mean he doesn’t have much of a reason to think otherwise :)

Raccoon: i explained after

Magical Thot: oh :( i wanted to leave him guessing

Raccoon: well he probably assumed anyway

Magical Thot: you don’t know that bOnKy

Thunder Thot: why does bOnKy’s companion know but i don’t Loki?

Magical Thot: it was not our intention to tell him

Magical Thot: he found out on accident. Don’t worry brother, if bOnKy told Steve purposely, i would have told you too

Thunder Thot: good to know :)

Spy Check: wait wait, how did Steve find out? Not to hurt his feelings, but he’s not the best at reading between the lines

Raccoon: you think i don’t know that-

Magical Thot: he walked in on us a month ago

Magical Thot: bOnKy over here forgot to lock the door

Raccoon: i thought if he got that close he would’ve heard us before just opening it

yEET: oh so you too were like, d o i n g  it

Magical Thot: well what did you think he walked in on, us braiding each other’s hair?

yEET: maybe? 

Bad Bitch: oh you innocent child

yEET: i’m 2 months older than you

Bad Bitch: so

Bad Bitch: ur still a child

yEET: ok FiNe

Spy Check: so how traumatized was that poor virgin? 

Magical Thot: i’d say very

Raccoon: … yeah

Raccoon: but i told him we were together afterwards, cuz he kept thinking Loki somehow like, enchanted me to fuck him, yeah Steve really doesn’t understand secks

Tin Can: why did you say “fuck him” and then spell “secks” like that

Raccoon: i don’t know Tony maybe because i’ve been friends with Steve for over 100 years

Raccoon: he couldn’t even say the word

Magical Thot: bOnKy i think you mean you “fondued” me 

Raccoon: oh jesus, yeah

Raccoon: when i talked to Steve he said “fondue” so much i had to stop him and say “fuck” for him

Birdman: we should all just talk about “fonduing” in front of him but with the actual word and see what he does

Raccoon: combust prolly

Tin Can: laNGUAGE

Raccoon: or that

yEET: anyway

yEET: stan winterfrost

Magical Thot: what-

yEET: it’s your ship name!

Raccoon: or it could be Lucky

Magical Thot: are we ever lucky tho

Raccoon: good point

Shrinky: winterfrost sounds cool :)

Thunder Thot: i like it :)

Thunder Thot: bOnKy, if you hurt my sibling, you will be shot so far into space that no living species will ever find you. 

Raccoon: i’d never dream of it

Magical Thot: sappy bitch

Raccoon: ur definitely smiling rn

Magical Thot: not anymore

Raccoon: :(

Thunder Thot: well if that’s settled, then i approve :)

Spy Check: so how long did we not know about this? 

Magical Thot: we’ve been together since the beginning of April, if that’s what ur asking 

Raccoon: so yeah almost 4 months

Spy Check: ok u two are better at hiding things than i thought damn

Magical Thot: and you doubted me

Magical Thot: anyway, you guys know how i said i was moving to my own floor cuz my brother’s annoying? Yeah no i moved into bOnKy’s floor yesterday

Thunder Thot: so it wasn’t because i was annoying?

Magical Thot: oh no u still are

Magical Thot: but mainly cuz i wanted to live w him

Tin Can: so now that floor’s just empty? Great

Magical Thot: oh no, i made that a library :)

Tin Can: oh that’s actually thoughtful

Science Bro: i’ve always wanted a library in the tower 

Magical Thot: *cough* i totally didn’t make it bc i miss Asgard’s library and you mortals have pathetic excuses for them *cough* :)

Science Bro: i need to go check that out 

yEET: do y’all wanna add Steve?

Raccoon: yes, but wait till tmr so we can talk about “fonduing” to freak him out 

Magical Thot: and he won’t see what bOnKy just said

yEET: yeah good point

yEET: tomorrow it is :)

Tin Can: oh shit

Tin Can: i forgot i have to sign these papers for some meeting tmr

Tin Can: fuck i have to read them too

yEET: ooph

Bad Bitch: agreed

Spy Check: ok yeah i have to go, Steve needs me

Raccoon: did he forget how the dishwasher works again

Spy Check: yeah he did

Thunder Thot: Loki, do you want to meet me in the library? I have tea

Magical Thot: i jUST got comfortable :(

Magical Thot: but tea sounds good

Raccoon: but

Raccoon: cuddles

Magical Thot: i literally sleep on top of you bOnKy

Magical Thot: cuddles later

Magical Thot: tea  n o w :))

Raccoon: ok fi-

Raccoon: and they’re gone

Raccoon: i’m gonna go watch Nat explain the same technology to Steve for the sixth time this week :)

Raccoon: bye bitches

Birdman: yeah those 4 months had an effect

yEET: my aunt wants to watch a show w me now

yEET: bye guys!

Bad Bitch: i guess i’ll go too then

Bad Bitch: bye :)

Fanboy: me too cuz i don’t want to be alone here, bye bye:)

Science Bro: i’d go see the library but i don’t want to intrude on sibling bonding

Science Bro: so imma go to Tony’s lab if anyone needs me

Science Bro: bye

Shrinky: bye :)

Eye Hawk: i mean i'm still here

Birdman: where are u tho?

Eye Hawk: … vents

Birdman: oh cool

Birdman: game pigeon?

Eye Hawk: sure

Birdman: ok bye chat

Eye Hawk: bye

Chapter Text

Spy Check: guys

*Spy Check has sent an image*

yEET: eYE-

yEET: thats so cute oml-

Birdman: yk bOnKy’s gonna kill u if Loki doesn’t get to u first

Birdman: but it is cute

Bad Bitch: best ship :)

Tin Can: guys i’m literally engaged-

Eye Hawk: that’s old news buddy

Tin Can: *offended*

Tin Can: so Pepper and i aren’t cute anymore?

Science Bro: nah u are, but like, look at them

Shrinky: u send a picture of u and pepper cuddling like that and we’ll “aw” at you :)

yEET: Nat when’d you take that

Spy Check: just now lmao

Spy Check: i think Loki’s asleep, but Bu- bOnKy’s hand was moving so i think he was just chillin

yEET: you mean to tell me

yEET: he’s rubbing their back

yEET: while they sleep

yEET: in his arms

Spy Check: mhm

yEET: EYE- *puppy eyes emoji*

Bad Bitch: that’s it they’re my otp

Fanboy: same

Thunder Thot: that

Thunder Thot: that is true love right there :))

Eye Hawk: i mean yeah it's cute but they just cuddlin’

Thunder Thot: you don’t understand

Thunder Thot: my sibling was tortured, you know this. They would never just trust anyone to be in the room with them while they sleep, let alone cuddle, the only people Loki would sleep with even back on Asgard before all of this was me or our mother

Spy Check: same with bOnKy

Spy Check: hydra did a lot to him

Spy Check: he has issues with sleeping w people too

yEET: t-

yEET: they rlly do love each other *sniff sniff* *puppy eye emoji*

Thunder Thot: i believe they do :))

Raccoon: i’ve been on here this entire time-

Bad Bitch: oop-

yEET: Loki too?

Raccoon: nah they’re still sleeping

Raccoon: they didn’t sleep at all last night so, it’s worth making my limbs numb to get them a few hours

Thunder Thot: night terrors?

Raccoon: yeah

Thunder Thot: ah

yEET: i want to hug them :(

Thunder Thot: me too, young spider

Tin Can: anyway, i think we had a plan for today

Tin Can: i know Loki would want to be a part of this, so let’s hope they wake up

Birdman: it is time to add the capsicle

yEET: on it

*yEET has added Steve Rodgers to the chat*

Tin Can: ew it’s his full name

Steve Rodgers: Yeah it is.

Steve Rodgers: What’s the problem?

Raccoon: no

Raccoon: not my best friend

Raccoon: using capitalization AND punctuation-

Raccoon: take him out rn

Steve Rodgers: Bucky, why is your name Raccoon?

yEET: eye-

Birdman: this was a mistake

Tin Can: bruh

Tin Can: you’ve been unfrozen for longer than bOnKy and you understand text less than him

Raccoon: shit y’all made me laugh so hard Loki woke up

Magical Thot: bitch what was going on before i-

Steve Rodgers: Do you two really need to curse?

Magical Thot: yes

yEET: we all do

yEET: it is our ancient code

Steve Rodgers: Who is everyone?

yEET: hold on buddy i gotchu

*yEET has sent an image* 

Steve Rodgers: Well this will be hard to remember.

Tin Can: please

Tin Can: steve

Tin Can: stop punctuating

Raccoon: for the love of everything

Raccoon: stop it punk

yEET: initiation time!!!

*Steve Rodgers’ name has been changed to Capsicle*

Capsicle: Why can’t I have my own name?

Tin Can: because

Thunder Thot: it is all in good fun, Captain!

Capsicle: Do you know what thot means Thor?

Magical Thot: yes

Magical Thot: yes he does 

Thunder Thot: Loki :(

Thunder Thot: i was gonna play my joke again

Magical Thot: sorry u were too slow :)

Thunder Thot: it’s not my fault that my fingers are too big for this

Magical Thot: aw you poor thing

Magical Thot: would you like a cookie for your effort? :)

Thunder Thot: i’m not sure how to respond

Magical Thot: good :)

yEET: that’s it

yEET: Mr. Stark can I come to the compound pleathe

Tin Can: i mean yeah

yEET: okay i'm coming over and i am teaching Cap how to text bc he needs it 

Raccoon: thank you peter

Raccoon: he needs all the help he can get

Raccoon: i’ve tried to teach him before, but he just seemed so hopeless

Capsicle: Hey :(

Magical Thot: baby’s first emoticon?

Spy Check: no he’s used them before

Spy Check: i think-

Capsicle: Loki I am literally 100 years old

Magical Thot: cool

Magical Thot: i’m 1,055

Magical Thot: suck it, child

Raccoon: *high fives*

Magical Thot: i’m literally laying on top of you bOnKy

Magical Thot: you can high five me irl

Raccoon: well i didn’t want to make u move

Raccoon: since your elbows have found the perfect spot digging into my rib cage

Raccoon: you seem comfy

Magical Thot: that’s thoughtful of you :)

Bad Bitch: damn i love you guys 

yEET: okay i have arrived

yEET: Capsicle should be good as new by tomorrow

Capsicle: But it’s night time.

yEET: sleep is for the weak

yEET: we need all the time we can get

yEET: i hope you don’t have plans tmr morning

Capsicle: I don’t.

yEET: good

Birdman: n e way

Birdman: i have a question Cap

Capsicle: Yes?

Birdman: so is it true?

Birdman: r u a virgin?

Birdman: fr fr?

Capsicle: uh

Raccoon: wow you got him to type in lowercase Sam

Raccoon: i respect that

Eye Hawk: was the only action he got walking in on you n Loki hhhh

Raccoon: prolly tbh

Magical Thot: i’m honored to be his metaphorical first time :)

Capsicle: guys we shouldn’t be talking about,

Capsicle: fonduing

Raccoon: for fuck’s sake

Raccoon: just say fuck

Magical Thot: please

Tin Can: we’re begging you here cap

Thunder Thot: really captain, it’s not so bad!

Thunder Thot: i say it all the time!

Spy Check: we know Thor

Spy Check: everyone can hear you say anything from anywhere if you speak louder than average

Magical Thot: i hate to agree, but...

Magical Thot: yeah no i don’t

Magical Thot: you’ve always been loud as shit

Capsicle: So are you, Loki.

Magical Thot: actually no

Magical Thot: i literally didn’t speak for a week after we arrived here

Capsicle: Well you were pretty loud a month ago.

Tin Can: oh shIT-

yEET: oh wow he went there

Spy Check: i didn’t know he could go there

Science Bro: wow Steve

Science Bro: that was a good one but like i never expected it from u

Shrinky: me neither

Birdman: that was the most inappropriate thing i've ever heard him say and it wasn’t even that bad

Birdman: but rip Loki

Thunder Thot: oh. oH-

Eye Hawk: hOw- i’ve never heard him from the vents and those things carry sound-

Bad Bitch: wow, for a virgin he sure knows how to roast ppl about sex

Fanboy: sshhhh don’t say that word he doesn’t wike it

Magical Thot: i-

Magical Thot: eYE-

Magical Thot: in my defense, it was bOnKy’s fault ;)

Raccoon: u rlly just-

Magical Thot: why else would i be loud

Magical Thot: i wasn’t “fonduing” myself was i?

Raccoon: well shit

Raccoon: we have both been attacked by a virgin

Magical Thot: we should make it a rule that no one can attack someone for “fonduing” unless they have also had the experience

Magical Thot: how the mortals say: “don’t knock it till u try it” right? :)

Raccoon: i agree

Tin Can: i will join this group

Tin Can: you have no idea how many tiny virgin reporters have shit talked me about sleeping around in my early days

Magical Thot: welcome to the club :)

yEET: i wish i could join

yEET: i love u guys :(

Magical Thot: don’t worry, you’ll be welcome as soon as you, you know

Tin Can: which will not be soon thank you very much

Capsicle: Wow guys

Capsicle: I just made a joke, that was, much.

Magical Thot: welcome to the group chat

Magical Thot: we take things way out of proportion constantly :)

yEET: das us :)

Tin Can: you should know me better than that by now, cap

Raccoon: n e way

Raccoon: i’m hungry so loki n i are gonna go get takeout

Tin Can: get me a spring roll 

Raccoon: we were gonna get italian but

Magical Thot: yeah i’ll get u a spring roll i want soup anyway

Tin Can: you guys are the best 

Magical Thot: i know :)

Raccoon: we*

Magical Thot: no

Raccoon: :(

Raccoon: :)

Spy Check: what changed

Raccoon: they kissed me

Magical Thot: yeah it doesn’t take much

Raccoon: hey:(

Magical Thot: you want me to do it again

Raccoon: pleathe

Magical Thot: see

Spy Check: *cough* pushover *cough*

Raccoon: bruh-

Raccoon: anyway, we’re gonna go get the food, so bye

Magical Thot: *waving emoji*

yEET: bye guys!

Magical Thot: oh wait Peter ur at the compound, do u want anything?

yEET: i’m not hungry now, but if u get pizza save me a slice for tmr pls

Magical Thot: oh ofc

yEET: :)

Magical Thot: ok bye

yEET: i’m gonna go too, more lessons w cap

yEET: come on Capsicle, time for class

Capsicle: Why

Tin Can: bc you need this

Capsicle: Okay fine. Bye guys

Spy Check: bye

Eye Hawk: Nat, meet me in the vents

Spy Check: where?

Eye Hawk: the ones above my room

Spy Check: why?

Eye Hawk: i’m lonely

Spy Check: okay fine

Spy Check: i guess i’m going too

Spy Check: bye guys

Eye Hawk: ^^^

Birdman: i’m going to sleep now

Birdman: i know i’m boring stop typing Tony

Birdman: i have to go somewhere early tmr so

Tin Can: okay understandable

Tin Can: gn lame ass

Birdman: night metal boi

Bad Bitch: ok im helping peter over facetime so im just gonna leave

Bad Bitch: i’ve been told to say bye from Ned too

Bad Bitch: so bye :)

Science Bro: i’m finally gonna go see the library

Science Bro: bye guys

Tin Can: and now i’m alone

Shrinky: you have me

Tin Can: oh, yeah

Tin Can: bye

Shrinky: i-

Shrinky: okay bye 

Thunder Thot: goodbye friends!

Thunder Thot: i know no one is left but i thought i’d say it anyway :)

*a few hours later*

Spy Check: y’all hear that right

Eye Hawk: i think loki forgot to soundproof-

Tin Can: well i’m not goin up to tell them

Tin Can: maybe steve can since he’s seen it ;)

yEET: sshhhh

yEET: we’re in his studio

yEET: it’s soundproof so we can’t hear outside it

yEET: don’t tell him please he’s already overwhelmed

Spy Check: hhhh boring

Spy Check: but okay

Eye Hawk: jesus do they stop?

Spy Check: well it’s a super soldier and a god going at it, i don’t think so

Tin Can: oh no

Tin Can: is Thor awake-

Thunder Thot:

Thunder Thot: indeed i am

Tin Can: oh shit buddy

Thunder Thot: of course i knew that my sibling was not innocent

Spy Check: well i mean they did have five kids-

Thunder Thot: yeah

Thunder Thot: but i’m still not particularly fond of hearing it :(

Tin Can: hey don’t worry i have a soundproof room in the back of my lab if u wanna come chill

Tin Can: it’s kinda small so Clint n Nat, sorry

Thunder Thot: i will take u up on that

Thunder Thot: thank you

Tin Can: ofc

Eye Hawk: damn Cap wasn’t lying about Loki

Tin Can: stop tuning into it Clint that’s weird

Eye Hawk: what am i supposed to do

Eye Hawk: where can you not hear it

Eye Hawk: and no i’m not going on the roof, it’s raining

Spy Check: just talk to me, it’s fine

Eye Hawk: ok, bye guys

Tin Can: i’ve just put my music rlly loud, it’s tuning them out

Spy Check: good idea

Spy Check: let’s get headphones

Spy Check: we can play that guessing game while we’re at it

Eye Hawk: bet

Eye Hawk: bye Tony

Tin Can: bye, have fun :)

Spy Check: don’t stay up too late

Tin Can: when has that ever worked

Spy Check: fair

Spy Check: bye

Tin Can: bye

*around an hour later*

Magical Thot: 

Magical Thot: f u c k

Chapter Text

Eye Hawk: It’s fine Nat and I were listening to jingle bells the whole time on the roof away from your guys love affair

Spy Check: Yeah and we were really close to jumping off too

Eye Hawk: We wanted to see what the chat had to say about your fonduing in the morning 

Spy Check: Yeah but no promises we don’t jump tomorrow if we hear that again

Eye Hawk: ;)

Capsicle: Wait what are you guys talking about?

Raccoon: nothing idk what u mean

Raccoon: we were just having a pillow fight

Eye Hawk: uh huh

Tin Can: yeah bc you moan during pillow fights all the time

Spy Check: who in a pillow fight would ask for it harder too

Magical Thot: bc he’s weak and can’t throw pillows

Raccoon: uh-

Tin Can: yeah still doesn’t explain the moaning

Magical Thot: the takeout was good okay?

Capsicle: so you were just eating food and having a pillow fight?

Raccoon: yeah ofc

Magical Thot: we do that a lot

Tin Can: yeah i bet u do 

yEET: o k a y

yEET: break it up

Raccoon: one more thing

Raccoon: Tony, don’t act like we haven’t heard you n pepper before 

Tin Can: eye-

Magical Thot: can’t yell at us now can you

Raccoon: especially since all we were doing was having a pillow fight

Magical Thot: right

Thunder Thot: Loki, s o u n d p r o o f  next time

Magical Thot: I fOrGoT okay

Magical Thot: it was one time out of 4 months guys

Magical Thot: as if that was our first time together

Raccoon: having a pillow fight

Magical Thot: yeah, we’ve had pillow fights before

Capsicle: do you two think we actually believe you were having a pillow fight?

Raccoon: but we were

Magical Thot: yeah

Magical Thot: i have video proof

Magical Thot: here

Science Bro: LOKI NO-

*Magical Thot has sent a video*

Science Bro: oh

Tin Can: wait-

Spy Check: I can’t believe you two actually had a pillow fight

Eye Hawk: but that’s not what we heard-

yEET: can we just talk ab Loki absolutely yeeting b0nky off the bed for a second?

Raccoon: -_-

Magical Thot: yes, yes we can

Magical Thot: b0nky, anything to say for yourself?

Raccoon: it's not fair you had magic

Magical Thot: you have a metal arm

Raccoon: yes and?

Magical Thot: you could’ve, idk, used it?

Raccoon: i

Raccoon: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU

Raccoon: I AM RIGHT HANDED

Birdman: you should be fucking used to having a metal arm by now 

Birdman: dumbass

Raccoon: :[

Birdman :P

Thunder Thot: Loki where tf are you

Magical Thot: in bed why

Thunder Thot: it’s 2pm

Magical Thot: and i shouldn’t be in bed why?

Tin Can: is b0nky there with you *smirking emoji*

Raccoon: yes i am

Eye Hawk: oh don’t u dare start round 2 rn-

Magical Thot: who said this would only be round 2

Raccoon: okay Loki

Raccoon: we’ve scandalized them enough

Raccoon: your brother’s gonna go into cardiac arrest

Thunder Thot: my cardiac has done nothing wrong 

Thunder Thot: why would it be arrested

Magical Thot: oh my fucking god thor

Thunder Thot: what is a cardiac

Magical Thot: bye assholes

Magical Thot: it’s cuddle time

Magical Thot: b0nky come on

Raccoon: I’m right here-