Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tony DiNozzo stood speechless. The world seemed to move in slow motion as he took in the scene before him. Tim’s bleached grin was bright in the moment and seemed like a beacon for a moment. Tim broke their surprised reverie first and walked over to his desk to look in the box sitting on top. Still grinning, he started rearranging his desk. Tim’s desk…his old desk…was now piled high with all the stuff that was in the desk Gibbs just reclaimed. He finally noticed Michelle Lee, her arms full of her stuff, looking shell-shocked. She caught his eye for a second and for a moment they understood each other, shock and something unnamed. Tony watched as Michelle quietly walked away.

He and Ziva glanced over at each other. She was as shell-shocked as he was, for all she acted like nothing ever surprised her. Tony looked away, staring at his and Tim’s desks now, seeing all their stuff stacked neatly, like Gibbs had taken his time stacking it neatly.

"Tony, Gibbs is back! Isn't that great?"

Tony wouldn’t remember later who exactly said that…he couldn’t even remember what gender the voice was who said it, but the words managed to snap Tony out of his slow motion reverie and then world was spinning at a dizzying pace again.

"Yeah," he summoned up every bit of enthusiasm he could. "That's really great!" He smiled so wide he showed his teeth.

Why didn't anyone tell me Gibbs was returning? Why didn't the Director say anything? Or Gibbs himself? When did this happen? Why didn't anyone tell me that Tim and I were being demoted? That was what this was, after all. No one could've made it clearer. Tony's cheek throbbed in that moment and he realized that an actual hard slap across the face would've felt better than this.

The bullpen was unusually quiet but Tony could almost feel the happiness radiating off Tim. He wasn’t sure why Tim was so happy. Sure, they all missed Gibbs, but neither had been prepared for…this. Ziva, also, had started to smile as she looked over at Gibbs every so often. Tony set his bag down in his chair. Since he'd taken over as team lead, he kept fewer and fewer personal items at work, having wanted to quit so many times in the last few months since Gibbs left them. He might've loved being a team lead under different circumstances. Instead Abby spent all four months with a shrine to Gibbs in her lab, sticking trainee stickers on his back and nagging him about going to find Gibbs and bring him home where he belonged. He held her when she cried, he reassured her as best he could but she'd been inconsolable. Then, once she managed to stop crying, she was upset and angry in turns and she took her anger out on him and Tim and Ziva. And Tim and Ziva…well, he’d screwed that up. He wondered why Gibbs let him get away with behaving as he had when he was his senior field agent. He could’ve and should’ve done his job as senior field agent better and deep down, he knew Ziva didn’t respect him. Tim’s respect wasn’t as grudging, but sometimes Tim had made little digs at him. They seemed to come to mind in cold clarity. He’d screwed up…again. He’d done a terrible job as team lead, so bad no one respected him enough to even tell him he was being demoted.

That wasn’t how things were supposed to be. If he had done such a terrible job, shouldn’t have someone pulled him up short long before it reached the point of demotion? Shouldn’t Jenny have said something?

He put his gun away as he had done a thousand times and added his badge to the drawer as well. He turned off his cell phone and set that in there as well.

He noticed that Ducky was conspicuously absent from this happy occasion and he knew why. Ducky was still angry at Gibbs for leaving but also because he'd never mentioned his wife and daughter to him and they'd been friends for a very long time.

Tony placed piles of paper strategically to make it look like he was just sorting out his desk but instead was actually packing the last few personal items he had. No one noticed.

When he got everything packed up, he glanced over at his colleagues. Tim was rearranging his files. Ziva was looking over at Gibbs and smiling. Gibbs himself was reading something, his eyes focused on what was in front of him, but Tony didn’t doubt he’d feel her eyes on him. There was a roaring in his ears that drowned out any of the usual background office noise. He pulled out the last item in his desk. He looked at the resignation letter and tears burned his eyes. He blinked them away, filled out the date and signed it and stuffed it in the envelope.

He grabbed his bag and quietly walked away. He was almost to the top of the mezzanine stairs when he heard Gibbs call his name. He pretended not to hear and he walked into Shepherd's office.

He didn't look back.

~ Three years later ~

Tony DiNozzo stared up at Bethesda Medical Center and wondered how in the world Dr. Brad Pitt convinced him to do this. He was voluntarily going to a hospital to be poked, prodded and interrogated.

I have to be out of my mind. Why did I agree to this?

Okay, Brad was persuasive. They, meaning Brad and his team, needed to follow the long-term effects of Y Pestis so they can develop treatments and medicines should there ever be another attack like the one that Tony had been plagued with, Brad's joke, not his. After all these years, he still didn't find plague jokes funny. In fact, he found them in very poor taste for anyone who knew he’d had the plague, and just remembering how hard it had been to breathe, he was pretty sure he'd never develop a sense of humor over the word again.

He shook his head. He had agreed to this and like it or not, he would keep his word, even if he would rather be anywhere in the world than here. For the hundredth time, he wished Stephanie was with him. He grabbed his cell phone and hit speed dial one, and followed the sidewalk that went around the building.

“Hello, this is Stephanie.”

“Hey, babe, it’s me.”

“Hey, good flight?”

“Yeah. I’m at the hospital, about to go in. Wish you were here.”

“Me, too, but you’ll be home tomorrow night.”

“Yeah. You doing okay?”

Stephanie laughed. “You just saw me this morning, you knucklehead. You know how I am!”

Tony grinned. “You were in pain this morning. I was worried about you.”

“I’m in pain every morning, Tony. That’s not new and nothing for you to worry about,” she spoke in the resigned tones of someone who’d said that way too much.

“I know, I know. Just hate not being there…what if something happens to you?”

“I wear that alert necklace, Tony. I’m fine…really. Will you please stop being a fuss-budget? I don’t want you to become one of those little old men who nags me about my adult diapers.”

Tony laughed. “Whoa, I do not have a death wish!”

“Good answer. Now, get your butt in the hospital, get this over with so you can come home.”

“Yes, dear,” Tony mimicked the hen-pecked husband routine he’d seen in the past.

“And don’t forget my postcards.”

“Yes, dear,” Tony said with a long-suffering sigh.

“Be sure you get one of each kind. If I didn’t give you enough money, get them anyway and I will you pay back.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Steeeeph, how many times do I have to tell you that you don’t owe me anything? We are married, remember?”

“Yes, but this is a frivolous expenditure and that should come out of my own pocket.”

“I’m happy to buy you postcards, you know. I don’t need you to pay me back.”

“I’m not making you pay for my silly hobbies.”

“It’s not silly. You have the coolest postcard collection I’ve ever seen.”

“Says the man who said he’d never known anyone who collected postcards.”

“Hey, all the more reason that it’s the coolest!”

“Oh, whatever,” she said with a laugh. “You’d better go. They’re waiting for you.”

“Yeah. I love you. You know that, right?”

“I know,” she said. “I guess you’re okay,” she said grudgingly, but she sort of sing-songed it so he knew she was teasing him, like that was anything new.

He felt the mischief well up and he knew just how to get her back. “That’s so not what you said this morning.”

“Well, we didn’t actually do much talking this morning.”

“You said plenty with your lips and your hands and you…”

“Tony!” she interrupted, sounding half embarrassed and half-outraged. “You’re in public!”

He laughed. “So? No one’s around. I’m walking around the building.” He could picture her blushing and it made him grin.

“Don’t you have somewhere you need to be?”

“Yeah, unfortunately. I really do love you, Mrs. DiNozzo.”

He heard her sigh dramatically and knew she was smiling. “You love calling me that, don’t you?”

“Hey, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time so yes, Mrs. DiNozzo, I do.”

Stephanie laughed. “You’re such a sap, but I love you too, husband o’mine. Now, go brave the needles. Remember what I told you to do to help you relax.”

“I’ll do my best. Love you.”

“Love you.”

Tony hit end call and turned his phone off and turned around to head back. He felt a little better now. She had that effect on him. It was still a little surreal to be married, and he fiddled a little with his wedding band, which was a plain white gold band. He smiled at it a little. It had felt like it belonged there from the moment she put it on his finger. He couldn’t imagine anything being any other way.

Finally, he took a deep breath and almost immediately started coughing. He forgot what DC’s air quality was like. Without further delay, he entered the building and found the air quality was only marginally better. He grimaced a little. He still hated hospitals. He walked in the building and noted that the pulmonary center wasn't in the same place as it was the last time he had to be here. He turned toward the correct direction and made his way down the corridor. He shored himself up and opened one of the double doors into the pulmonary wing. It was quieter in here, but he looked around and sighed. For a second, memories of blue lights flashed before his eyes and the thought made him a little lightheaded. Quickly, he pushed the thought aside. There would be no blue lights here and now. He was fine. Really.

He went up to the receptionist and quietly told her who he was. She smiled and stood up. "I heard a lot about you, Mr. DiNozzo. Please, come with me."

She opened the door to allow him back to where the examination rooms were and led him to one. A nurse came in the room right away. "Hi, Tony. I'm Ann." She handed him a few sheets of paper. "Will you please read these and fill out the last three pages? Please be as thorough as possible. We really need as much information as you can provide. She nodded toward the desk in the room.

Tony sat, and she handed him a pen. "I'll be back in about 20 minutes but take your time. We have all day."

Tony grimaced at that. He didn't want this to take all day. In fact, he wanted to leave already. The ring on the fourth finger of his left hand caught his eye and he smiled softly and took a slow, deep breath and reminded himself how lucky he was. Steph lived in constant pain all the time but she had learned some techniques to help and she’d taught them all to him. He wasn’t sure he’d remember them once he was actually in the situation, but having talked to her helped. He felt calmer.

Brad better buy me pizza after this, he thought as he read through the form before filling it out. The restaurant he used to get the pizza from was still open, and he dared Brad to say one word about how unhealthy it is. If he did, Tony swore he'd order extra meat, too.

The paperwork included an extensive medical history plus a questionnaire about his day to day activities and his breathing. Tony realized while filling it out that the questionnaire was designed specifically for him and it was thorough. Despite hating doctors and hospitals, Tony filled it out as best he could, being completely honest about everything. He knew this was important for the long-term and he would do his part.

Ann seemed to have good timing and just a few minutes after he finally completed it, she thanked him, took his blood pressure and temperature and then listened to his pulse.

"Okay, Tony. We need to get blood and urine samples, and then Dr. Pitt and his team will be in to see you."

Tony sighed. For a moment he thought about making a joke about needing a stool sample too, but given how thorough the questionnaire was, he was afraid that if he suggested it, someone might decide that was a good idea so he bit his tongue. He endured the blood test, and fortunately, the phlebotomist was friendly, competent and pretty, too. Not as pretty as Steph was, but he was biased and didn’t care. She put him at ease with friendly chatter while she did what she needed to, and he admitted to himself that this time the blood draw had been tolerable. He would never like it, but it could've been worse.

He was led back to an exam room and Ann took his blood pressure and pulse again and smiled a little at him. "I was warned you didn't like needles and your blood pressure reflects that. Try to relax, Tony. Unless something abnormal comes up on your blood work, we shouldn't need to draw any blood again."

"Good," Tony couldn't keep himself from saying.

She smiled sympathetically at him. "Dr. Pitt should be in shortly. He's happy you're here."

"He should be," Tony muttered.

Ann chuckled and left Tony alone. Not even five minutes later, there was a knock on the door and Brad opened it. "You know, it's pretty sad that no one had to tell me what room you were in. The Buckeye stench led me right to you."

Tony grinned. "What do you mean stench? Buckeye pheromones attract all the women."

Brad snorted. "Keep telling yourself that." He reached his hand out and grasped Tony's in a manly handshake and then pulled him in for a brief hug. "Good to see you, man. How are you doing?"

"Well, I've been poked, prodded, my arm hurts from the blood pressure cuff. Please tell me we're almost done here."

"Eeeh, not quite," Brad said, and he pulled up a chair and sat facing Tony. "I have a team of doctors who are interested in examining you. Some of them are part of a research team for biological attacks and others are pulmonary specialists who are assisting the research team and…well, if you outlive me, they need to be familiar with your case so they can help you if you need it."

"Brad, I don't even live in DC anymore," Tony pointed out.

"I know that, and it's probably better for your lungs that you don't given the air quality around here, but if they meet and examine you and know your history, they can consult with the doctors in your area to help and if need be, one could fly down to Florida if they absolutely have to."

Tony sighed. He understood. He really did. "I'm very healthy, Brad. I take good care of myself."

"I know, Tony, and you look it. It’s great you’ve kept yourself so healthy. As you get older though, you could develop a condition called chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and that's what I'm concerned most about."

"I know. You've given me the drill. I actually do everything you told me."

"Really?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "You think I want to live out my days on a respirator? No way, man!"

Brad nodded. "Okay, you have any questions?"

"Yeah, how long is this going to take? There's a pizza with my name on it and you're buying!"

Brad laughed. "It's going to be a bit yet but we'll try to make this go fast. I'm going to call the team in and we're going to listen to your lungs, and then get x-rays, MRI and CT scans of your lungs."

"Really? All three?"

"We want as many images as possible. We would also like to get a sample of your lung tissue, if you will let us, another reason for the CT." Brad smiled a little sheepishly.

Tony’s eyes went wide. "What?!"

"It really wouldn’t be that bad. We’ll do the imaging first, and then we’ll study the CT to if there are any areas that look like they are or might become problematic. Then, we use a local to numb it, and then use a needle through the chest wall to get a biopsy. That’s it. You might feel a little pressure and you might be sore once the lidocaine wears off, and I know you hate needles, but we'll make it as quick as possible and it would help the research team a lot to have actual tissue from a plague survivor."

"You didn't tell me you wanted to do that!” Tony accused, glaring at Brad. “If I’d known, I would’ve insisted you pay my wife’s way here, too.”

Brad sighed. "I'm sorry, Tony. I thought it was a miracle you came at all. But now that you're here, it would really help the research team a lot, and could save lives down the road. I’ll do my best to make it as easy as possible."

Tony huffed. "Well, that explains why you said not to eat anything. I should’ve known you’d want to butcher me.”

“I won’t be butchering you. It’s a needle. That’s it.”

“Must be a big needle if you’re going to get to my lung.”

“I won’t let you see the needle, I promise. Please?”

Tony pretended to think about it but he knew he’d give in, but not gracefully. “Okay, fine, but you're also buying beer too."

Brad smiled. "Done and done. Even something chocolate, if you want."

"Really?"

"Yep! Anything except buckeyes. I won't have them in my house."

Tony laughed. He couldn't help it. "Buckeyes are awesome, man. Chocolate and peanut butter is the best."

"I'll buy you peanut butter cups, but no buckeyes."

"You really can't take it that the Wolverines are inferior to the Buckeyes, can you?"

"In your dreams, man, in your dreams."

Tony smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.