Work Text:
In the Morning Light
The first time we slept together was by accident.
Practice had ended for the night, we had eaten dinner and taken baths; we were exhausted. Originally it was a first string (plus some) hangout in Miyuki’s room that happens all the time anyways. Haruichi and Kuramochi were battling it out in a video game. The others made conversation and made bets on who’d win the game. In the midst of this, Miyuki and I were relaxing on his bed. We were enjoying each other’s company and the chaos around us. As the night waned on, teammates began to leave and soon it was only us two.
“I think I should get going; we have practice tomorrow,” I yawned, and my words came out garbled.
It took me a moment to realize that I still hadn’t received an answer from the upperclassman cuddled up next to me. I looked down to find Miyuki asleep.
His expression was soft and defenseless. I hadn’t seen that look before. It was a good look.
“Miyuki~” I softly called to him, hoping to wake him enough to say goodbye but not disturb him too much. I got a small grunt in response; the arm lazily wrapped around my waist tightened. “Miyuki, I need to go to sleep.”
Without opening his eyes, he pulled me down onto the bed, “Don’t be so loud, I’m trying to sleep.”
I rolled my eyes; sometimes Miyuki was such a child.
With a huff, I argued, “I realize that, so let go of me so we both can sleep.”
I was annoyed at this point, the man was always unreasonable, but we had practice in the morning!
“Miyuki Kazuya let go!”
It was too late the man in question had already fallen back to sleep. I was about to pull on his arms to let me go, but I hesitated when I saw the dark marks under his eyes; he must have been exhausted. I sighed and gave into the fact that I would not be returning to my own bed that night and went to sleep.
~
The second time we slept together was on purpose.
Between practice and classes, we hadn’t seen very much of each other outside the diamond or hallways. He had caught me after my bath. I was on my way back to my room.
He grabbed my arm pulling me next to him in a quiet corner. I was going to question his motives, but he had beat me to it.
We hadn’t kissed very much, but it wasn’t the first. Despite this, when he kissed me in that small, quiet corner away from the world, it felt like the first; it felt like him.
We had stumbled back to my dorm, lucky my roommates had gone home for the short break. We were grateful that we didn’t have to deal with Kuramochi’s gripes.
It was a desperate night leaving no room for patience once the tension had finally broken.
I always wake up before him. I hadn’t noticed the first time; I did now.
Miyuki stirred, “Good morning~”
His words were languid, the same as his cat-like stretch.
I kept staring.
“Oi, Sawamura,” he flicked my forehead.
“Hey!” I held my forehead, pouting, “What was that for?”
Miyuki chuckled, voice still rough and raw around the edges, “You were gawking. Don’t you know it’s rude to stare?”
“I know, I know. It’s just…” I took a breath.
“What?”
“Well it just bothered me! And I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before!” I was already racing after my train of thought.
“Wait, slow down,” He sat up and put his hands on my shoulders to ground me. “Start over. What bothered you?”
I could tell he was worried when he used that voice: patient, soft and caring. I took a deep breath before letting it out, “You aren’t sleeping with one of those weird masks on!”
Miyuki Kazuya is not a man without words, but the dumbfounded expression he made was laughable.
He took a long breath, pinched his nose, “You got all worked up because of that? I really don’t understand how your mind works; you know.”
~
The third time we slept together, I couldn’t let it go.
I woke up to a soft breeze; a stillness that was alive and only found in the morning. I glanced over to the man who laid next me; a grin I never could have stopped overtook my face. He really is beautiful. I couldn’t help my thoughts or the hand that lightly moved his hair from his face.
I watched him sleep; I still smiled. I really am a blessed man when he isn’t riling me up. Yet, I loved him even then.
Loved?
I looked at his sleeping form as the light began to seep through his eyelids; his breathing changed.
Yeah, loved.
His warm eyes stared up at me.
Then it hit me, “You’re not wearing a mask again!”
His face soured.
“But you wore one yesterday…” I was hung up.
Miyuki heaved a sigh that carried his body and sat up, “I really don’t get why this matters so much.”
I understood where he was coming from, but this was the third time it happened! He always slept with one! It had now occurred three times, certainly not just a coincidence.
I mumbled my thoughts. He sighed again, there was fondness in his breath that I had only begun to notice recently. Miyuki plopped back down onto his pillow; hair delicately swishing and bouncing with the movement. He was always so beautiful.
~
The fourth time we slept together, I had a plan.
I couldn’t stop wondering about his eye mask; I theorized just about everything that could even remotely be the reason. None of those reasons would ever be enough for Kazuya to break a habit. Humans are creatures of habit; Kazuya was certainly a human.
After he had fallen asleep, I reached into a drawer on the bedside table. I pulled out one of those weird, stupid and incredibly endearing eye masks he wore. I slipped on the mask before going to sleep.
I did not sleep well. I was a human too, and breaking my own habit was not easy. For the first time in my memory, Kazuya woke up before me.
He violently jerked up, waking me. My eyes creaked open only to find black. At first, I panicked before I remembered what was going on. I couldn’t help but grin a little since I’d finally get the answers I needed (hopefully).
I was slow in my movements, lazily yawning before I lifted off the mask. “Morning Kazuya~”
He just stared down on me.
I frowned.
His expression seemed tight and reserved, like the face he wore when talking to nosy reporters who couldn’t take a hint.
I blinked.
He stared.
Never one with much patience, I decided that I wanted answers, “What is it? You look like you’re going to say something passive aggressive or a thinly veiled insult.”
He looked away finally and stared down at his hands in his lap.
I could tell he wanted to snip at me with the way his eyebrows bunched.
I could tell he wanted to be honest by the anxious way he played with his figures.
I sat up, reached for his hands, “I’m here.”
This simple phrase had become the best way I could support him when it came to anything besides baseball. Kazuya was closed off with a million and one walls that boarded up his true thoughts and feelings. We had known each other for a long time now, he still hadn’t let me in completely. That never stopped me of course.
After some less than gentle nudges and most likely unwanted prying, I had learned a lot about how he worked. 1. He does not like being told that things are okay or will be okay. 2. He refused to cry. 3. He never wanted to ask for help.
I learned that even though I wanted to fix everything, help him even when unwanted, that he needed reassurance not aid.
He tightened his grip on my hands; I waited until he was ready.
“I don’t like you wearing that…”
I was ready to understand, but now I’m more confused than ever. “Huh? I didn’t think you’d mind so much since we’ve shared clothes before.”
Kazuya lightly shook his head, “I don’t care about that.”
“Then what?”
He looked everywhere but me.
He flushed red.
He took a deep breath.
“I don’t wanna wear a mask when I sleep with you because…”
I tilted my head in a way Kazuya always declared dog-like, “Because…?”
He grew a deeper shade of red, flushed from his neck to his ears.
It was a good look for him.
“I wanna see y…” he mumbled.
“Huh?”
He huffed before he faced me, “I wanna see your face when I wake up, and I can’t with one of those things! All right?”
His breathing was heavy.
I was barely breathing.
“You…” I struggled to find words, “You want the first thing you see to be me?”
We had been together for quite a while now, but he had always kept my heart skipping beats.
Kazuya looked to the ground beside the bed, “Yes…”
Another skipped beat.
He looked up to see how I was taking it; I didn’t give him much of a chance. I had tackled Kazuya in a hug and buried my face in his chest.
I could hear his heart.
Beating as fast as mine.
I began to giggle, “You’re so cheesy! Out of all the reason I came up with, you still surprised me.”
Kazuya chuckled, “You’ve really been hung up on this, haven’t you? The things you get stuck on… you astound me.”
He whispered the last part, a shared secret only for me.
It was only fair to do the same.
I pulled back and faced him. I held his cheek with my left hand and his hand with my right. I had never been happier (recent events excluded).
“I’m in love with you.”
~
I don’t know how many times we’ve slept together now.
I wake up before him, sitting up to watch him.
I lightly brush his cheek, thinking about how nice he looks with short hair. It's hard to explain just how much I love the feeling of the rough stubble on his chin.
As morning wakes, the sun begins to dance over us. The light makes the metal glint.
My eyes look to the shimmer, and I can’t help the fond look I wear seeing the silver band around my finger.
Kazuya wakes. His brown eyes catching the light; his eyes look heavenly and the ring hardly compares. My eyes stay on his to see the morning light melt into the dark depths of his irises. They swirl and glow with precious flecks of gold moving amongst the soft brown tones.
“Morning love~” Kazuya grins.
I can’t help but smile in response to the love of my life.
And then I get it.
A mask would block this view, a view I would give my life to see.
I want to see his face first thing after I wake up.
"Good morning Kazu.”
Fin.