Archive of Our Own

But if you met Remy in his home or anywhere else, the amount of soffe he consumed would kill an elephant. Remy was waking up? Coffee. Breakfast. Have some coffee with it. Walking out the door? More coffee. Going to the coffee shop before his job? Specialty coffee that only a few baristas could make perfectly. At his job, coffee from the coffee maker, which was by far the lowest point of his day as the coffee tasted not much better than tepid water with coffee ground in it. Another visit to the coffee shop before closing on his way home. And then one more cup before he had to let enough liquid coffee exit his veins so he could go to sleep. 

If anyone saw him, they would never realize he would swap out some hot chocolate into a different mug, Remy wanted to keep the Aesthetic™. 

However, something began to throw a wrench in his plans with the cute blond haired barista behind the counter that soured his trips to the shop.

Remy had loved to flirt with the barista, named Patton, taking a particular liking to him, something about his genuine and constant smile as well as his ability to keep up friendly conversation even while making customers drinks. Remy loved how the Patton’s nose crinkled when he was focusing, his eyebrows scrunched and just the tiniest bit of his tongue poking out in concentration. 

“Hey gurl, your coffee making skills could make a coffee enthusiast like myself swoon!”

“Oh, but I suppose you come in here enough to be able to watch me do it that it doesn’t bother you anymore?” 

Remy had actually been taken aback by that, having had the tables turned on him in the flirting game that he was comfortable with. Of course, his precious seconds of shock had cost him, the customer that was behind him, in a black and purple patched hoodie hunched over slightly with some major bags under his eyes covered by black eye shadow (which was quite a look), ordering and saying after.

“I think you might a Pa-ton in here if you’re that good, wouldn’t want them crowding the floor in front of the register.”

Remy’s heart had fluttered at Patton’s giggle, but his blood boiled at the thought of someone flirting with Patton that wasn’t him.

Remy caught the guy’s eye, silently challenging him, but the other guy, who’s name he learned was Virgil when he got his black (seriously? the guy was coming to a coffee shop and not getting the option he couldn’t make at home?) coffee, and just noncommittally shrugged, paying for his coffee before brushing past Remy to wait for his coffee.

Since then, Remy could never get of a flirt without Virgil behind right behind him with a stupid pun that made Patton laugh like Remy couldn’t make him laugh.

He was so frustrated when he came to the register one morning, that he didn’t give out his typical flirty remark, just ordered his usual and then sauntered off to wait for it after paying. Remy watched as Virgil conversed with Patton, able to make Patton laugh that laugh with another stupid pun. 

Remy didn’t get it, why did Patton react so well with that when Remy had used flirting on the other cute baristas and got them blushing and coughing and laughing?

It wasn’t until Virgil , who he didn’t even realize had stepped beside him to wait, tapped him on the shoulder, saying, “Uh, Remy, Patton’s got your drink ready, he’s been calling you for like... 30 seconds.”

Remy looked up, not remembering when he looked down, looked up to see Patton looking straight at him, coffee cup in hand, a worried look on his face.

“Oh, uh, thanks Virgil.”

Virgil appeared vaguely surprised that Remy knew Virgil’s name despite the fact that Virgil knew Remy had heard his name almost daily as Virgil’s was much easier and faster to make. Did... Virgil think Remy didn’t care?

Remy put on his best smug smirk, masking the slight embarrassment of allowing his mind to distract him so much. 

Walking up to the counter, Patton handed Remy his drink, eyebrows furrowed.

“You... okay Remy, you seemed a little down there.”

Remy waved Patton off.

“Yeah gurl, just hadn’t had my special coffee today, my homemade batch just wasn’t good enough today.”

Remy heard a scoff behind him, turning around to see Virgil looking at Remy with a disbelieving expression.

“You make coffee at home and then get coffee here? I know I drink an unhealthy amount of coffee, but that much is just ridiculous! Do you have death sentence or something?”

Remy raised an eyebrow from behind his sunglasses, scoffing similarly to how Virgil had just moments before.

“Gurl. I’m so fabulous, death would never even think about touching me! Besides more than a pot of coffee in healthy for the immune system!”

Virgil rolled his eyes, going to grab his coffee as Patton called his name, neither of them noticed Patton’s rapid glances between them.

“With that amount of coffee you wouldn’t have an immune system left! You’d just be drowning in coffee.”

Remy didn’t know exactly why he was doing what he was doing, but something in him told him to do it.

“You wanna find out how much coffee I drink?”

Virgil went to respond, but faltered a strange expression arising on his face as he made sure he was getting Remy’s implications right.

“Is this your way of asking me out on a date?

Was Remy asking him out on a date? He had been trying to get Patton to ask him for so long. And even though Virgil had constantly stolen the spotlight recently with Patton... Remy realized he didn’t mind the thought of going out with Virgil, he just hadn’t realized that until now apparently.

“Are you saying yes?”

Remy put on his best seductive smile, exuding confidence. Virgil turned his face away quickly, Remy catching Virgil’s sudden blush before he composed himself, cheeks still helplessly tinged pink.

“It’s... a date... then.”

Remy nodded, as if this was Remy’s conscious goal all along, taking out a pen, waiting a moment to let Virgil tell Remy he didn’t consent before writing down his number on Virgil’s hand. Remy heard Virgil squeak, looking up to see Virgil now bright red. 

Remy didn’t understand the reaction until he realized the position he had to put Virgil’s hand in to see enough to write on Virgil’s hand made the postition awfully close to a kiss on Virgil’s hand. Virgil could probably even feel Remy’s breath on his hand. Remy saved the man by writing down his number as fast as he could, half shoving the pen back into Virgil’s hand, keeping his hand out for Virgil to write on.

Virgil keeps Remy’s hand at a safe distance as he writes in jagged numbers his phone number, cheeks and ear tinged light red.

Virgil gave Remy his pen back, an awkward silence falling between them when Patton spoke up from the counter.

“What, you kiddos not going to ask me for my number? You’ve been fighting over me for so long, I was waiting for you to realize I knew. You couldn’t see your own connection, so I just let you go, I knew you both would figure it out eventually!”

Patton clapped excitedly smile beaming at the fact Virgll and Remy figured it out. Both Virgil and Remy for the first time dumbfounded by the man they had both thought was basically oblivious to what they were doing, but Patton knew. Remy finally recovered, shooting back with,

“Isn’t that something to talk about on a first date? It’ll just be the three of us. And we can move... whatever this is, into somewhere more private after.”

Virgil spluttered, choking on his coffee that he had been nervously drinking to hide his blush.

Patton smiled blankly, as if he didn’t get the implication, but the subtle upturn of Patton’s lip signaled Patton knew exactly when Remy meant.

Patton grabbed both of their hands as they offered their hands for Patton to write his own number on them. 

After he was done, though, he took the gesture Remy had been accidentally in a minute earlier a little further than Remy, placing a kiss on both of their hands. Patton seemed to relish the blush that invaded even Remy’s face at the gesture.

As Remy exited the coffee shop, a little later than he usually like to, he reconsidered the type of day he was having. Before, he was having quite the bad day, but today?

Today was a good day.