Work Text:
Present Day – February 8th
Shinkai’s legs are tucked snuggly under the low table in Arakita’s bedroom, where a large comforter is shared between them. His friend offered that they study in the living room, where the kotatsu was, but Shinkai kindly declined in favour of having a “quiet place to study”. The fact that he waved off being somewhere warmer undoubtedly raised Arakita’s suspicion, but Shinkai merely smiled innocently and continued working on his assignment until his friend caved and pulled out a blanket for them to share. Arakita had no choice but to follow suit and pour himself into his studies, unable to rely on Shinkai for answers the way he did in the past.
They were attending completely different universities, after all.
9 Months Ago – May 18th
Let’s train together Yasutomo
Are you outta your mind?!
Shinkai grins at his friend's immediate reply. He knows it's an outlandish request on his part. First of all, they have their own respective teams they should be practicing with if they had free time to spare. Secondly, the two lived three hours apart —assuming one of them had a car— which neither did at the moment. It made no sense to meet up. Just trying to get together on their bikes would have been training enough.
Shinkai regards his phone, thumbs hovering over the virtual keyboard as he considers his response.
Are you busy this weekend?
…
Arakita replies with the ellipses, but another set pops up, indicating that he’s typing. Shinkai waits patiently, wondering how the other will scold him this time.
I can’t do Saturday, because I don’t trust myself to get my homework done on just Sunday.
So Sunday?
Sunday. IF I finish my hw before then. If not, you’re outta luck.
Shinkai, caught off guard, laughs to himself. Yasutomo just gave himself an ultimatum to be on top of his studies. It was barely a month in, but he was taking his university life seriously. Shinkai is hit with a wave of motivation as well. He clenches his fist, promising to finish his assignments on Friday, so that he can make plans with his friend.
Sounds good. See you Sunday ;)
IF I finish my hw!
I trust you ;)))
Enough with the winks!
***
When Sunday arrives, Shinkai leaves early. The two agreed to meet each other halfway that afternoon using the train to save time. From there, the two would assemble their bikes and follow a path around a nearby park and take a pre-planned route around the town before heading back to the station, grabbing a quick meal on their way back if time permitted. It sucked that the majority of their day would go to commuting, but that was the price to pay for both living close to campus, hence far from each other.
When Shinkai is halfway there, he gets a frantic text from Arakita apologizing in advance, claiming he’d be late. Shinkai brushes it off as nothing, but as station after station passes, he wonders how late his friend was going to be. Arakita was updating him of all the roadblocks he faced. Waking up late, needing to clear up a payment issue with his new landlord, and the delay at the station due to a problem occurring at track level. The minutes added up; twenty, thirty... by the time Shinkai reached his destination, he calculates that his friend would be forty-five minutes late.
Shinkai gets off the train and sinks onto one of the bench chairs in the station as he regards his phone sadly. At this rate, they’d have to cut their planned route in half. He pulls out his map app and adjusts for the timing, wondering if he was foolish for thinking this could work. It was a good thing Fukutomi was out of town that weekend and couldn’t join their little expedition. He would definitely be disappointed at the tardiness and last-minute change of plans.
When Arakita arrives, there’s a rush that fills Shinkai’s lungs at the impact of their embrace.
“Sorry!” Arakita huffs, pulling away from Shinkai to bow. “I fucked up!”
It was incredibly uncharacteristic, and thus made Shinkai’s heart hammer in confusion.
“It’s alright,” Shinkai smiles. He hefts his equipment bag over his shoulder and guides Arakita to the station’s nearest exit. “We can still ride around the park. It might not be “training” per se, but a leisurely ride is never a bad thing.”
The truth was, this was around the time they would be finishing up their ride and possibly grabbing something to eat. Shinkai takes out another power bar and unwraps it, catching Arakita’s attention.
“You hungry?”
Shinkai flashes his friend a cheeky grin. “When am I not?”
Arakita doesn’t smile back. He looks torn, and what he says next gives reason why.
“I know it seems like a waste since we came all this way to go cycling together, but why don’t we skip out on that and just grab some grub?”
Not being able to ride with Yasutomo seemed like more of a waste. There wouldn’t be many opportunities to ride with him in the future. Moving forward, they would be rivals. His friend wouldn’t be there to pull him if he dares break in the future. The thought is haunting, and for the first time since graduation, Shinkai is hit with a genuine wave of sadness that they were no longer in high school.
“Sure,” Shinkai smiles, because he quickly realizes that there wouldn’t be many opportunities to eat together in the future either.
“Alright. You pick the place. I’m treating you for screwing up your plans.”
“How accommodating,” Shinkai smiles nonchalantly. “I should make plans with you more often.”
“I’ll never be late again,” Arakita grumbles. The two shoulder their bike bags and begin walking down the busy streets while eying the menus outside of chain restaurants and private buildings. They fall into easy conversation, and time flies before they know it. Shinkai picks a place out of necessity rather than decisiveness. Their time together was slowly ticking away, and Shinkai didn’t want to be rushed when it came to eating.
The two sit across from each other and a pair of menus is placed before them by a sweet-looking waitress. Shinkai orders the katsudon with a side of yakitori and mixed tempura, appreciating the variety of dishes available at this particular place, and encouraged that Yasutomo eat more than just the tonkatsu he ordered, resulting in the other ordering gyoza for them to share.
“Do you want anything to drink?” Arakita asks as their earlier conversation trails off into comfortable silence after ordering their meals.
“Water should be fine,” Shinkai says as he eyes Arakita scanning the drinks on the menu.
“Not even a beer? We’re university students now, you know.”
“That hadn’t crossed my mind,” Shinkai chirps sarcastically.
Arakita rolls his eyes and turns the menu, pointing to a photo of a pitcher of beer. “Let’s get this.”
Asahi...
It’s a popular brand, and Shinkai did always picture himself trying it out with his clubmates at a pub of sorts. He realizes that he doesn’t mind his first experience drinking out with his buddies being just him and Yasutomo.
“Sure, but only if you agree drinks are my treat.”
Arakita tries to argue back, but Shinkai is stubborn.
“Fine,” his friend caves. He calls over the waitress and orders two pints, which arrive shortly after.
That night with Arakita was one of Shinkai’s fondest memories made in a while. Once the food arrived, and once the alcohol settled warmly in their stomachs, time flowed by dangerously quickly. Shinkai loved every moment of being with Arakita. His friend seemed more laid back. Maybe it was because the school year barely started, or maybe because he was comfortable being alone with Shinkai. Or maybe one beer was all he needed to relax. Regardless, Arakita rested his cheek on the palm of his hand as he ate and chatted the night away with Shinkai, his gummy grin charming and contagious as he explained his driving school attempts, and immediate university mistakes and blunders. Shinkai laughs freely, and shares his own trials and tribulations. It’s pleasant, to say the least.
It feels different from the other times they were together, but in a good way.
***
Despite the large amount of food consumed, Shinkai feels light and airy and he and Arakita make their way back to the station. The sun had set and the air was chilly, but neither complained how they normally would. Instead, they stuck close. Arms and shoulders would occasionally bump into one another, yet every time the momentum pushed them away, the two made it a point to fall back into each other. Once they reached the station, they hovered at the entrance, standing together at the place where they would have to part ways.
“Sorry again for being late,” Arakita mumbles. It was the humblest Shinkai had ever seen his friend act. “We’ll ride together soon.”
“Of course,” Shinkai smiles. “As long as you strive to outrank your senpais, then we’ll ride together very soon.”
Arakita flashes Shinkai the cockiest of grins, which makes Shinkai stand a little straighter and smile a little wider. “Yeah, yeah. Get ready to lose to Yonan. Our bike club doesn’t mess around.”
Shinkai punches Arakita in the shoulder. “You’re awfully confident for someone who doesn’t even know half your clubmates by name.”
“You’re one to talk.”
Shinkai extends a hand, and Arakita takes it with vigor. They shake and smile at each other, grip tight and taunting, with a side of friendly teasing.
“Let’s see each other soon,” Shinkai offers. “Even if it’s just dinner, catching up is nice.”
I never realized how much I’ve missed you; he doesn’t add out loud.
“Yeah, for sure. We’ll get Fuku-chan and Toudou to come too. Hell, maybe I’ll even be able to convince Kinjou to join us.”
Shinkai’s smile falters for a nanosecond. Catching himself, he falls into his practiced smile and lets his hand slip out of Arakita’s.
“Sounds like a plan,” he nods. Arakita cocks an eyebrow and tilts his head to the side, but Shinkai is already tapping his pass to enter the station. He points to the direction of his platform as he wishes Arakita a goodnight, ignoring the confusion present on his friend’s features. He doesn’t know how to address it. He made himself just as puzzled by his behaviour.
“Goodnight, Yasutomo. Get home safe.”
“Bye.”
7 Months Ago – July 3rd
Any plans for Tanabata?
Practice. Study. Yell at a certain clubmate for chewing with their mouth open.
That’s boring. You already do all those things.
WHEN WILL HE STOP SHINKAI? HE MIGHT BE MY SENIOR BUT THERES ONLY SO MUCH I CAN ENDURE
Shinkai snickers at his friend’s agitation. He types a joke out but deletes it, refusing to fall into the other’s pace. He needs to stay on track! This isn’t just a casual conversation. He's trying to initiate a means to see his friend.
Is your club actually hosting practice that weekend?
It takes Arakita a moment to respond. Instead of words, he sends Shinkai a picture. It’s a screenshot of Yonan Bike Club’s training schedule.
This is what they expect on days off
“Hmm... doesn’t seem that different from ours,” Shinkai mumbles out loud. The schedule is rigid but hits all the necessities a high-level team aiming for the top requires. Shinkai downloads the image, and makes some edits on the schedule.
Here, I fixed it.
You just wrote “Nap” for half the day.
It’s what you’d normally do anyways, right?
…
Shinkai smirks and keeps writing before Arakita can come up with a response for being called out.
Instead of napping this weekend, why don’t we go to a shrine?
Shinkai jumps at the call notification popping up across his screen. He takes a moment to understand that Arakita is intentionally calling him, and another to pick up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, okay. As much as I want to slack, we have a race on Monday, so I actually can’t skip out on training that weekend.”
Shinkai’s shoulders immediately slump, and he’s grateful his friend can’t see his disappointment.
“No worries,” Shinkai replies, hoping his smile —albeit slightly forced, somehow carries in his voice.
“Ah, damnit! Don’t make me feel guilty!”
“I’m not trying to,” Shinkai chuckles. “Yasutomo, we’ll hang out another time.”
They had managed to have a few small gatherings with the friends in their first semester of school, yet the two of them being alone together was far more scarce. Their one on one conversations tended to happen if they lagged behind their group of friends, or as of late, exclusively through calls and texts. Shinkai wonders if the other suspected that his Tanabata-related invite was addressed only to him, and whether his packed weekend schedule was prepared in advance, anticipating Shinkai’s offer and ready to decline it. Shinkai quickly shakes his head, dismissing the thought. He would never do that. Arakita was blunt to a fault. He’d tell Shinkai straight up if he didn’t want to hang out with him rather than subtly avoid plans.
Yasutomo had nothing to suspect.
There was nothing to suspect.
“You can come over, if you don’t have plans.”
“Huh?” Shinkai quips, not entirely understanding the offer.
“I live alone. You can laze around my place while I’m out on Saturday. We can see the fireworks from my balcony when I’m back.”
“Are you suggesting a sleepover?”
“You can crash at my place, yeah,” his friend squawks. “If you don’t have to be anywhere the next morning.”
Shinkai hums and regards his friend’s training schedule one more time. It doesn’t start painfully early, and there is a large gap in the afternoon, when the day is the hottest. The gap wouldn’t have been large enough to warrant a 3 hour + commute to and from his home; but staying over was a completely different ball game. If he arrived around the time of Arakita’s first break, they would have some time for each other before the other parted one more time that day, followed by the two coming together again in the evening. They’d be in each other’s company that night, and see one another one last time in the morning before his friend would have to leave again for practice that Sunday. If that was what Arakita was offering, then it felt worth it to Shinkai to make the excursion.
“Will you make me breakfast?” Shinkai asks happily.
“Sure,” Arakita sighs. He sounds exasperate, but Shinkai suspects he hears a twinge of glee in the other’s voice. Though it could be that he was projecting his own feelings onto his friend. In any case, he was happy Yasutomo didn’t outright turn down his offer to see him, but rather, found a compromise.
“Can I come in the afternoon? When you have your two-hour lunch break?”
“I may be having lunch with my team...” Shinkai is about to tell him that it was fine and he could head over in the evening, but Arakita rushes his next sentence before Shinkai can open his mouth. “But I will gladly ditch them to eat with someone who knows how to close their mouth when chewing.”
Arakita doesn’t mention Kinjou or Machimiya, to Shinkai’s surprise (and relief).
“Sounds like a plan,” Shinkai laughs. “You don’t mind me staying at your place?”
“Like I said, it’s not like I live with anyone. Make yourself at home. I might not be home for shrine stuff, but you can explore the one nearby if you get bored waiting for me.”
“Alright,” Shinkai nods to himself. “So, I’ll see you this Saturday?”
“Mhm. Bring snacks if you want. God knows I won’t be able to satisfy that black hole you call a stomach.”
Shinkai laughs, and they exchange a few quips at each other’s expense before ending the call. Shinkai beams, pleased. He looks forward to seeing his friend.
***
It’s weird how content Shinkai feels with Arakita. Lunch is a breeze, and that evening is incredibly peaceful. They talk about everything yet nothing at all. Sometimes they fall silent, but it’s never weird or awkward. It felt natural. As the fireworks peeked over the adjacent apartments, Arakita and Shinkai would only occasionally glance up to observe the colourful lights. Otherwise, the two crouched together on the balcony, huddled close and distracted by the sparklers in their hands. Arakita had made a quick trip to the nearby store to grab them, along with small bamboo skewers, some fresh cucumbers, and a bunch of bananas as well. He slowly melted some convenience store chocolate, dark chocolate that Shinkai had brought over to snack on, and coated the peeled bananas in them. He sat them on a tray to cool and skewered them, and the two happily snacked together, recreating the shrine experience.
Shinkai was beaming the entire night. He felt like his friend was spoiling him by giving him his undivided attention. There were no Juichi to steer Yasutomo’s attention to cycling, and there was no Jinpachi to occupy his space and bicker with him. Shinkai’s only complaint was that, as the night progressed, he grew sad, knowing it would have to come to an end. Arakita flashed him a questioning glance as they prepared for the night, but didn’t pester him. Instead, he offers spreading out the futon in the living room, where they could both lie together “like back in those earlier training camps”.
The suggestion of the act goes straight to Shinkai’s nostalgic heart. He nods and offers to grab the futon, rushing to get away from the other and hide his misty eyes.
They spend that night sleepily discussing breakfast. Tamagoyaki was a must, as well as miso soup. Maybe some rice, but Arakita complained that rice alone wouldn’t be satisfying.
“I can grill some fish.”
“Where the hell are you going to get fish from?”
“You don’t have?”
“You didn’t ask for it.”
“Your fridge does look kind of sad. I’ll restock it next time I come over.”
“That better be soon,” Arakita huffs.
They’re both lying on their backs, staring up at the ceiling.
“I’ll try my best,” Shinkai promises. Because he does want to see him soon. He wants to see him more often. He’s currently in his presence and his heart feels heavy thinking about how they’d have to part ways the next morning.
Shinkai falls asleep wondering why of all his friends, Yasutomo is the only one to make him feel this way.
Present Day – February 8th
Some time passes before Shinkai can no longer suppress his yawns. They come more and more often as the evening progresses, and he blames the winter skies for darkening hours before it’s reasonable. Arakita catches wind of his exhaustion, and after a few minutes, he sighs heavily.
“Shinkai, you’re passing out. Maybe we should call it a day.”
Shinkai frowns at that, and takes the power bar he forgot was resting in the corner of his mouth out and places it down on his notebook.
“I’m not done my assignment yet.”
Arakita gives him a look. It’s the kind Shinkai has noticed more often over the past few months. His friend looks baffled by him. He scratches the back of his head, opens his mouth, reconsiders and lets his lips fall shut and press into a straight line. Whatever he wants to say, he reconsiders.
Shinkai immediately feels guilty. He was the one who essentially invited himself over with very little warning. He should take his friend’s hints and excuse himself for the night.
“Sorry,” he apologizes. “You must be tired too—”
“Man, it’s not that. You’re the one who has to commute home.”
Shinkai lets out a heavy sigh and plants his cheek against the table, staring at the pile of papers scattered in front of him.
“I feel like I just got here.” Even though Arakita was home in Yokohama, which was only a half hour ride away from Shinkai’s dorm, clashing schedules prevented the two from seeing each other until that very night.
The room falls silent. Shinkai wonders why he feels so reluctant to part ways. It wasn’t this bad when they first started the school year. It wasn’t this bad with his other friends either. Shinkai didn’t ache to see Jinpachi the way he did Yasutomo.
“You alright?”
Shinkai sighs again, and the loose sheets of paper flap in front of him.
The sound of shuffling catches his attention, followed by gentle footsteps growing closer. Arakita grabs a seat beside Shinkai, and tucks his legs under the comforter. He pushed Shinkai’s textbooks and papers across the table and crosses his arms so that his can rest his cheek on his sleeve as he regards his red-headed friend.
Arakita doesn’t say anything. He simply gazes into Shinkai’s eyes, and Shinkai feels his cheeks grow warmer at the attention.
This.
Now this had happened a few times in the past few months.
This feeling of... something.
“Shinkai, I want to ask you a question.”
“I can tell.”
The acknowledgment gives Arakita pause. He worries his bottom lip, considering his words carefully.
“Do you like me?”
Well, yeah. Shinkai wants to say. Yasutomo was one of his closest friends. They wouldn’t be friends if he didn’t like him. That much was obvious.
It was too obvious.
Shinkai blinks, puzzled. So... he was asking something else entirely?
Do you like me?
The only other way he could interpret that is by the conventional means —romantically.
“Do I?” Shinkai asks. He meant to make his inflection that of a joke, but voice sounds strange, even to him. His cheek is pressed firmly against the wood of the table and the vibration of his question reaches his ears what feels like several seconds later. Do I like Yasutomo romantically? He regards his friend, who fearlessly stares back. Arakita Yasutomo, who likes cycling just like him, and is sensitive to the cold just like him too, and who enjoys eating out and cooking at home as well... Arakita Yasutomo, who can carry a conversation easily with Shinkai, and is prone to bickering with the people around them —unaware that his assertive and blunt personality makes people warm up to him all the more quicker. Arakita Yasutomo with his straight, jet black hair that fans attractively over his forehead, piercing eyes that are far more perceptive then he lets on, and straight white teeth that never shy from display regardless of whether he’s ecstatic or enraged.
Arakita Yasutomo, who for some odd reason doesn’t see himself as charming or handsome, and who can’t seem to grasp that his heart of gold which he extended to his friends, is why they love him so dearly and pester him with every moment they get.
Shinkai sits up straight. The realization washes over him like jumping into a cold pool on a hot summer day.
Ah.
His sudden change in posture provokes Arakita to sit up as well.
I like him.
He wants to scream in his revelation. He’s only ever wanted to spend more time with Yasutomo, and there was a very clear reason why.
Shinkai smiles at his friend. It’s a little solemn, because he is immediately faced with the certainty that a clear confession is what the other needs to provide a clear rejection. Luckily, neither were the type to dwell on these types of situations, so it was easier for Shinkai to get it over with in one go.
Thoughts in overdrive, Shinkai faces his friend head on and says; “I like you.”
Shinkai is admitting it —to both himself and to the person who unintentionally forced his hand and made him come to that very conclusion. He’s admitting it in hopes to face the repercussions right away and move on as soon as possible.
“Good,” Arakita says. He’s rubbing the back of his neck, unable to meet Shinkai’s gaze. “I was starting to think I was reading too much into things.”
“Sorry that my obliviousness caused you grief,” Shinkai chuckled, heart pounding a mile a minute, anticipating the rejection.
“You always cause me grief, jeez! Next time you wanna drop by, do your homework beforehand! It’s depressing using our free days sitting across from each other but not talking!”
Shinkai Blinks.
“Huh?”
“Now that it’s out in the air, we don’t need to come up with excuses to see each other, right? Just drop by whenever you can. I’ll do the same,” Arakita explains. His cheeks are tinted red, while the tips of his ears are absurdly scarlet. “Plus, we don’t have to invite Fuku-chan and Toudou if we’re dating, so we can cut that out too.”
“Wh-w—” Shinkai is utterly speechless. Dating?! Did Yasutomo say dating?
“Go home,” Arakita huffs, shuffling closer to Shinkai, who is comically frozen in place. “You won’t make it to your early class if you sleep over. But I’ll be back home next weekend. You can stay as long as you want then.”
“Okay,” Shinkai croaks. He thinks he’s understanding what’s going on, but he’s too shocked to register the slew of emotions rushing through his thoughts. “Next weekend,” he repeats robotically.
“I’ll get your bag and coat. Go grab your stuff,” Arakita demands. He, to his credit, is taking everything surprisingly well. Too well. It’s like he knew. But how could he have known before Shinkai did?
As if to hammer the point home, Arakita pecks Shinkai on the cheek before getting up. He heads out of the room to grab Shinkai’s backpack and coat, which he had left at the base of the stairwell. Shinkai stands, unmoving. He runs back every pleasant instance the two shared over the past few months, and groans in shame into the palms of his hands.
Damn.
He wasted a lot of time being naïve of his feelings. He was lucky Yasutomo caught wind of the truth with that damned intuition of his, and he was even more lucky that the other patiently waited for Shinkai to figure it out as well.
Shinkai sighs with a smile as he gathers his school work at the sound of Arakita running back upstairs.
“Good to go?”
“I think?”
Arakita raises a brow for Shinkai to elaborate.
“So you like me like me?”
“Yeah.”
“And you’re okay with dating me?”
“If you think about it, we’ve been dating for a while now,” He huffs while scratching the back of his head. “So yes...”
Shinkai knows Yasutomo is holding back his usual insults, and for that reason, he finally understands the sincerity behind the conversation.
Shinkai takes a step forward, followed by another. He was too off guard to truly grasp Arakita’s kiss. It settled warmly on his skin, but the heat of clarifying their relationship overpowered that initial sensation. Arakita blushes, sensing Shinkai’s intent, and lets himself fall into Shinkai’s embrace.
“I like you so much,” Shinkai whispers, holding him tightly. Words would never explain the tight feeling in his chest or the pure happiness he feels in the other’s presence.
Arakita hums, and Shinkai is almost certain the other says “no shit” which makes him chuckle. He kisses Arakita’s temple, then combs his fringe aside to peck his forehead. Arakita’s hands clutch his collar and his grasp tightens with every kiss Shinkai plants lovingly onto his cheek, nose, jaw, neck...
“I get it, I get it,” Arakita croaks. “Don’t let my sisters catch us,” he hisses with his palm pressed firmly against Shinkai’s pouted lips.
“Go home and text me when you make it,” he adds. Despite his hand still stubbornly blocking Shinkai’s persistent kisses, Arakita tilts Shinkai’s head to the side to peck his cheek. “Watch out for the ice.”
Shinkai pulls away from their embrace, and waits for Arakita to lower his guard before pouncing him with one final kiss.
“Thanks. Goodnight Yasutomo.”
“G’night.”
The two exchange one last kiss. It’s a chaste one on the lips that has both pulling and looking away from each other, utterly flustered and giddy. They both head downstairs, and Shinkai calls out to thank Arakita’s mom for the hospitality, and bows politely when his sisters come to say goodbye. Arakita can only squawk in disdain when Shinkai pulls him into a tight hug and leaves for the night, promising to see him soon.
Shinkai smiles happily to himself, relieved to finally understand why he sought time with Yasutomo the way he did.
Understanding what caused the tightness in his chest whenever the two were separated was a huge weight off his chest. Shinkai steps carefully through the thin layer of snow coating the sidewalk. He pulls his scarf over his nose and a puff of condensation slips through the thick fabric following his quiet chuckle.
Now I know.