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Boil simply raised an eyebrow at the sight in front of him. Set on his bunk was a new set of shiny armour, completely unpainted. Cody stood on the other side, arms crossed, waiting for Boil’s reaction.
“When you told me you needed a favour, I didn’t expect it to have to do with changing armour.”
Cody chuckled. “I know, I know. Just hear me out on this one, Boil. I think it might actually work.”
Boil had no idea how Cody had been able to get the armour up here so quickly. They had just been shuttled back to the Negotiator a couple standard hours back, and when Boil had finally left the mess and decided to try to get some sleep he found Cody outside the barracks. The commander said nothing other than “I need a favour,” and followed Boil inside until they were standing in front of the bunk.
“Let me guess. We’re trying to get the General to sleep again, aren’t we.”
Cody snapped his fingers. “Exactly, Boil.”
“And how, exactly, is this going to be different from the other times?”
Boil had long been Cody’s partner in crime when it came to getting Kenobi to sleep. They had tried what felt like every tactic available, short of sedating him.
Well, they had sedated him once . But that was also the one time Boil had seen the General actually mad, after he had missed his council meeting as a result of his… being sedated.
So sedating him again was out of the question. But Boil knew that if Cody had come up with a plan that somehow used different armour, things were getting desperate.
“Well, there’s one card we haven’t played yet. And that’s the evidence card. Every time we confront him, he tells us he’s slept or rested or meditated even though it's quite obvious he hasn’t.”
Boil narrowed his eyes as Cody elaborated. “I assume this has something to do with the shiny’s armour?”
“Exactly,” Cody responded. “I need you to wait in the mess. I know, even if he won’t admit it, he hadn’t slept for at least 56 hours. He’s gonna start hallucinating soon if we don’t do something. If he adheres to his usual post-battle routine, there’ll be at least twelve more hours of work ahead of him, especially considering our casualty counts this time around.”
Cody’s face sobered at the last part, but he shook his head and continued. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. I may or may not have gone into his quarters earlier and broken his caf machine. He only drinks caf when he’s really exhausted, when he’s not he just has tea. Because there’s no way he’ll be able to stay awake without it, he’ll have to go to the mess. Every time he leaves, you gotta change positions so it doesn’t seem like you’re the same person. And you gotta keep your helmet on, of course.”
Boil chuckled. “So you want me to sit in the mess for… twelve-ish hours? In a shiny’s armour? Just waiting for the general to come in?”
Cody grinned. “Exactly. While you’re at it, you can approve some supply requisition forms I’ve been meaning to get through!”
~~~~~~
It was 22:00, two hours after Cody had set Boil up with his stealth mission. The general had already come in four times, by Boil’s count, each time refilling a quite large mug with caf. The first time, Kenobi had gotten tea, but returned fifteen minutes later. The tea obviously hadn’t been caffeinated enough to keep him awake.
Each time, Boil made his way to a different part of the mess. He started out in one corner, then went to the other corner, then to the center, then back to a corner.
Some of the other troopers that were around for when he changed spots looked at him with a question in their eyes. It was rare for any of them to be in the mess with their helmet on, much less be moving around so much.
They must’ve just brushed him off as an overanxious shiny, though, because no one questioned his actions.
It had only taken two hours to get the supply requisition forms finished (Did Wolffe really think the 104th needed 500 liters of grey paint? Why did the Republic have paint on the same form as heavy duty blasters?) (Boil approved it anyway, knowing Cody would’ve done the same for Wolffe.)
After requisition forms were done, Boil sat around for a few minutes, scrolling mindlessly through forms he’d already approved. Looking at the chrono, he saw that Kenobi had been gone for thirty minutes now. Due back any second. But maybe he could sneak out quickly and find a different datapad or holo or something to keep himself entertained.
Pressing the button to open the door that led out of the mess, Boil was confronted by General Kenobi on the other side, looking… well, looking pretty terrible if Boil was being honest.
Kenobi tilted his head as Boil stepped around him. “Do I know you, trooper?”
Shoot , he thought. Jedi and their force feelings. “No sir,” he sputtered. “I’m new. Gotta go, sorry sir!”
It wasn’t the smoothest exit he’d ever made, but as Boil speed walked down the hall he knew Kenobi was hyped up on so much caf and lack of sleep he’d probably forget about the incident within a minute. His comm beeped as he alerted Cody to the fifth sighting of the general so far.
Boil returned to the mess three minutes later, equipped with enough holos to last him a whole day, and found Kenobi still there, standing in front of the caf machine with an even larger mug. He watched in horror (and slight admiration) as Kenobi filled the large mug up to the brim and downed it in one go. After refilling it again, Kenobi made his way out of the mess with a datapad in one hand and his mug in the other. Working even while taking a break.
~~~~~~
Ten hours later, Boil was bored out of his mind. He’d lost count of how many times he’d tapped his comm to alert Cody to the general’s presence, but it was too many to be healthy. Boil didn’t know how the man wasn’t bouncing off the walls or collapsed on the floor right now.
“Cody,” Boil murmured into the comm. “Can we please confront him now? I’ve run out of stuff to do. And I’m pretty sure at least a few troopers have caught onto my act. And there’s no way this is healthy.”
“Well that’s the point Boil, we know it’s not healthy, we just gotta convince him of that.”
“Sir, I saw him down two full cups of caf and grab a stim to take to his quarters. While it’s impressive he’s lasted this long, that much adrenaline is in no way healthy for a person.”
Boil didn’t receive a response for a moment, but eventually heard Cody sigh. “Fine. I’m heading there right now,” the commander said before the comm clicked off.
~~~~~~
“Ten minutes, Cody,” Boil whispered to the commander. “He came in here ten minutes ago. And he’s back!”
Cody steepled his fingers and watched Kenobi walk to the caf machine. His helmet sat on the bench next to him so that it wasn’t in plain sight for Kenobi to see.
“Just wait until he realizes the machine is out. I watched another trooper try to go get some a couple minutes ago and got the last few drops. Let’s just see what happens,” Cody whispered back.
“We should probably talk normally,” Boil said, his voice slightly distorted by the helmet. “It’s hard to whisper in a helmet, and looks kinda suspicious.”
Cody hummed. “You’re right. Now watch.”
The General set his mug under the machine and pressed the button. Nothing came out. Boil and Cody watched as he muttered something to himself.
“Your bucket pick up that audio, Boil?”
Boil grinned. “Isn’t something you’d like to hear, commander.”
Cody smiled at that and watched the general. He was shaking the machine a bit, trying to get it to work. Kenobi gave it one last tap before giving up.
They watched as he looked forlornly at the empty mug and hit his head quietly on the wall a few times.
He turns around quickly, looking to see if anyone noticed him, before spotting his commander.
Boil chuckled as his helmet picked up Kenobi’s words. “Not very excited to see you, sir,” he said to Cody.
“I can imagine,” Cody responded. “Now stay in character until I say I have evidence.”
Boil nodded as Kenobi made his way over to the pair. There was a slight zig-zag to his walk, as if he wasn’t completely in charge of his direction. With that much caf, it would be a miracle if he was.
“Commander. Trooper.” Kenobi nodded to the two as he took a seat in front of them and put his datapad on the table.
“General. Well rested after the battle, I assume?” Cody’s pleasantness was almost overbearing, and though he doubted Kenobi would notice anything, he nudged Cody’s shin under the table for good measure. They could both feel the vibrations from Kenobi’s leg restlessly bouncing up and down and hitting the floor.
“Yes, thank you, Cody. Ready to get my work done now, but it does seem the caf machine is out, and the one in my room is broken.”
The general was nothing if not a good liar, Boil had to admit.
“Ah, I see. Though why do you need caf if you just woke up? I thought you had tea in the morning.” And Cody matched his General, if not surpassed him, in his lying skills.
Boil watched as Kenobi’s caffeine muddled brain tried to come up with an adequate response. The Negotiator was still the Negotiator, though, and he came up with one quickly. “Day after a battle, bit more tired than usual. Need the extra caffeine.”
It wasn’t his most eloquent lie, and Cody decided it was time to call him on it.
He leaned forward and put his elbows on the table to stare down Kenobi.
“I know you’re lying, sir.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Yes you are.”
“You have no proof.”
“Actually, I do.”
Always one for dramatics, Boil pulled his helmet off right then. He watched as Kenobi at first didn’t process who it was, then recognition dawned in his eyes.
“Kriff. Boil. That was… you.”
“Hello, sir. Yep, that shiny was me.”
Kenobi put his head in his hands before looking up. “You were here every time?”
Boil smiled. “Every time, sir.”
Cody slid a datapad he had brought with him towards Kenobi.
“Proof, sir.”
The datapad listed every time Kenobi had come into the mess that night, along with how much caf he’d gotten.
“Have anything to say for yourself, sir?”
Kenobi’s hand shook as it rested on the table. “I have lots of work to get done, soon, Cody. There’s nothing to say.”
Cody smiled quite an evil smile.
“I think there is, sir. I’ve taken the liberty of finding a list of caffeine overdose symptoms. Shall we discuss? Given the amount you’ve ingested in the past twelve hours, I’d say most of these, if not all, would apply to you. Let’s see… restlessness? I’d say so. Anxiety? Always, but yes, definitely. Dizziness? Sure looked like it. Irritability? Mhmm. Nausea? Who knows! Insomnia? That’ll kick in in a bit. Fev--”
“I get the point, Cody. But I think I know when--”
For a brief moment Kenobi’s head dropped down and slipped out his hands.
“What was that, sir? Think you know when to stop?” Cody was on a roll tonight. Or, really, this morning. “By my calculations, the battle ended 12 hours ago, lasted about two days, and we were strategizing for at least ten hours before this, so… 70 hours straight? Of no sleep? Please do correct me if I’m wrong.”
Kenobi said nothing, just rubbed his temples.
“Come on, sir, we’ll take you back to your quarters. You need to sleep.”
He crossed his arms. “I have work to do. There is a war going on, Cody.”
“Yes, the one in which you’re leading and doing most of the work for.”
“Yeah, that one!”
“Well that doesn’t mean you don’t need sleep, sir. You won’t be able to lead effectively if you don’t rest.”
Kenobi rested his hand on the datapad. He couldn’t seem to decide what to do with it. It laid there, shaking, for a few seconds before he saw it and clenched it into a fist.
When the General didn’t speak for a few moments, Cody got up from his seat and grabbed his datapad and helmet. Boil did the same, but grabbed Kenobi’s datapad.
Cody grabbed the General’s elbow but he jerked away. “I don’t need to be dragged .”
Kenobi walked in front of the two as they made their way to his quarters. Boil leaned over to Cody and whispered, “I think getting evidence and confronting him almost made him madder than sedation.”
Cody glanced ahead to make sure Kenobi wasn’t in listening range before whispering back, “I agree. That’s the irritability I was talking about. This took a lot more work than sedation. Either way, even with the amount of caffeine in him I’ll bet he falls asleep in ten minutes. We gotta guard the door to make sure he doesn’t leave.”
Boil glanced over at Cody. “ Please don’t tell me that’s gonna be my job.”
They reached his quarters, and Cody walked in and grabbed the stack of datapads from Kenobi’s desk, who shot Cody a death glare on his way out. “Sleep well, General!” Cody said before the door slid shut behind him.
The commander turned to Boil. “Don’t worry. I got this, you can go get some sleep. Anyway--” he held up Kenobi’s datapads with a grin, “--I have some work to do, don’t I?”
Boil saluted as Cody sat down against the wall and began to work. “Have fun, Cody.”
~~~~~~
Boil was waiting on the bridge ten hours later when Cody and Kenobi entered. The general looked much better, and he had a cup of tea in his hands now.
“Good afternoon, General.”
Kenobi grinned as he took a sip of his tea. “I like the armour, Boil. It suits you better.”
After waking up, he had put on his regular armour again, thank goodness. He’d grown attached to it.
“I agree, sir.”
Boil turned to Cody. “You tell him that you broke his caf machine yet, Cody?”
Cody cringed as Kenobi turned to him. “You did what !?”
Boil could only smile as he watched the argument go down.