Chapter Text
The smell of the forest entered her lungs, and she was finally able to breathe. Her mind cleared, her eyes sharpened by the relaxing, green color. She was free. How would this feel once she’s not just a human? How would this feel once she’s connected to the wild, wolf life? She has been excited for that moment all her life, but the older she got, the more disappointment she felt. She, herself, was a disappointment.
Emma loved the crunchy noises when she stepped on a branch. Her feet bare, her heart satisfied. Once she shifts, these noises will follow here anywhere. Just this little detail of walking in the forest was enough to make her giddy and excited, but she has learned not to have high hopes - there was still the possibility that she had no wolf inside, that she was a simple human.
She kept walking further into the green forest. She knew every corner of it, even if she had no wolf to tell where exactly was Wolf Hills’ territory ending. The wood was her home, not knowing where it starts and where it ends would be a crime. As a child, she spent every minute running around with her siblings, even when both of them had shifted. But now that the two are older, they don’t accompany her during her walks. Emma knows deep inside that her not being able to transform like them is a problem, and it strained their relationship.
All of her was a problem in a way.
She wasn’t able to protect herself or her family. She was the weak point in their pack. Can she even consider herself a part of their pack? She hoped so.
She reached a small tangle of trees. Their arms were forming a pretty gate as moss covered them. Not only was it a gate and a romantic aisle, but if one were to climb up the trees, the soft moss could be used as bedding. It was an excellent spot for an afternoon nap.
Or for Emma to sit down and wait. Or for Emma to hide when the enemies approach. Not that anyone would come here and attack. And if yes, their presence would be known to the pack. Nonetheless, Emma was safe up here.
She started climbing up, her movements steady as she did this almost every day. She might not be a wolf but rather a monkey. Her father always praised her ability to climb. A monkey she shall become. She was fast to reach the top of the branch gate. She caressed the moss and inhaled its scent. She will never get bored of doing that even if she were to remain a human.
She lay down and took a few deep breaths, instantly relaxing. She raised her hand to her neck and found her pendant by touch. She lifted the necklace, and her doe hazel eyes studied the piece of jewelry on it. It was a glass vial with a purple flower in it, but Emma had no idea what kind it was. She considered asking her mother, yet telling anyone about this gift alarmed her. She had the pendant since she was five, and in no way was she giving it up. It was a wonder that the flower never died, never dried up. It remained pretty all those years. She carefully took the vial off the chain to study it closely. Emma wasn’t good at recognizing herbs, and no matter how hard she studied, she got stuck with the simplest ones.
A dark cloud of fluff appeared out of nowhere, causing Emma to yelp and drop the vial. She held tightly on the branches so that she wouldn’t fall off, sitting up. She sighed when she noticed the furry creature wagging its tail directly under the moss gate. Larger than a regular wolf, the werewolf tilted his head, making it easier for Emma to look directly into his eyes, resembling the vast, calm ocean waves. The wolf’s fur was astonishing in her eyes; it was a pure black color, but it went so well with its blue eyes. Emma could see a red tint for a second when she smiled widely.
“Come up, Al,” she said, her voice like honey. “I’m not going down to pat your head.”
The wolf stopped wagging his tail and snarled a little, feeling offended by Emma’s comment. The young girl quickly averted her gaze as she knew what the wolf was about to do. It took only a few seconds for the werewolf to shift back to his human appearance. Emma peaked slightly to catch her boyfriend, putting on his pants he had tied around his ankle. His ebony hair was messy, though he still looked amazing in her eyes. Soon, he followed her up the tangled trees.
His eyes shone upon seeing the face of his girlfriend. “Hello, beautiful. Have you been waiting long?” he asked as his ivory fingers traced across her cheek. Emma leaned closer to the touch, loving the heat coming out of her future mate. If she had her wolf, she would be thrilled and purring. Any human would be weirded out from this interaction, but wolves were naturally intimate with their loved ones, especially their pack members and mates.
“I’ve just arrived. Don’t worry.” Emma nuzzled her cheek against his hand, closing her eyes in pleasure. “‘m sorry to drag you out today.”
Alan laughed, planting his girlfriend quick peck. “It’s okay. It has been a boring day anyway.” They stared at each other for a moment. “You made it better.”
Emma shook her head, long, copper hair swaying. “I have been on edge lately,” she admitted. Alan hummed, indicating that he was listening to every word. “It’s stupid to think this way. To worry, but I’m just so afraid, Al.”
Although the forest’s scent was calming, it didn’t wash away all the worries. Emma spent most of the week there, but nothing could make her relaxed. She kept thinking of her pack, of her family and her future mate. She counted the days until the next full moon. All of it just made her more uneasy. She kept asking herself if she was like them, a wolf.
“I don’t know how to stop it, you know, the anxious feelings,” she breathed out. Alan moved closer to her, resting his head on her shoulder, close to her neck, her scent gland. “And the thoughts. Oh, god, Al. I hate those thoughts, but I don’t know how to… uh, stop thinking them.”
“What thoughts?”
Emma hugged his arm. “That I’m not like you. That I’m human,” she spat, fidgeting while saying the word. “I’m fifteen, Al. I’m…”
“Maybe you’re just underdeveloped. You’re half-wolf, after all,” Alan voiced his own opinion. “It will just take… longer.”
“We are supposed to develop our wolves between the ages of six to eight. I’m kinda over that age, Al.”
Alan raised his head and kissed her cheek. “No matter what, I will love you, Emms.”
“I’m not worried about that,” she sniggered, pushing Alan’s longer fringe out of his eyes. “I just want to be like you. I want to feel my wolf.”
Alan opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped midway. His eyes flickered with red, and Emma wondered what was on his mind. She wanted to know what thoughts flew around his head. Did he understand her and the things she felt? All the emotions, all the worry… Did his mind operate the same as hers?
She stirred when Alan moved away and jumped down. She watched the muscles on his back move, pondering what he was up to.
“Maybe it’s just about training,” he spoke up after a while of gazing into the woods. “Maybe your wolf just needs a little nudge.” His eyes met hers, a smile evident in them. “I can help with that if you want.”
Training? Emma marveled at her boyfriend’s train of thought. How could he think that practice would wake her wolf up? But she didn’t object. They could spend a lovely afternoon together, at least. And so she nodded and climbed down the moss gate with his help.
They started walking through the forest, moving away from the tangled trees. Alan grabbed her hand and stroked her palm. He seemed excited to teach Emma to find her wolf. Emma hoped that he knew that this little training might not work out. She wanted to believe in her future mate’s abilities, but still… She already was a huge disappointment.
They stopped walking when they reached the middle of their territory. Perhaps Alan wanted her to try to awaken her sensing skills. He turned to her, snorting at her. “You look excited, Emms,” he remarked, earning a small punch to his bare chest. “Anyway,” Alan cleared his throat. “I want you to focus your senses, all of them—smell, hearing, uh, touch, taste. Close your eyes, and let the wolf take over.”
Emma wanted to protest that she had no wolf, but then she changed her mind and shut her mouth. Instead, she did as Alan asked. She closed her eyes, letting darkness take over her sight. Alan stepped away, letting go of her hand. She was all alone—just her and the wolf she was supposed to have and feel.
She sniffed the air, yet the forest’s smell was the most prominent and was hitting her immediately. Maybe if she sniffed more, she would be able to smell more than that. She needed to block out the forest and focus on details in the air. Maybe she would be able to sniff Alan or the marked territory.
Emma stood there for five minutes before she felt frustration creeping at her. She knew that none of this would work. Why did she plant the small hope in her chest? Now her heart was breaking.
She opened her eyes only to notice that Alan was gone. She panicked and looked around, but no traces were left behind. He just vanished. Was that part of his plan, his little training?
But how? How did she not notice her boyfriend leaving her? Was she too focused on sniffing the air to hear her boyfriend walking away? She was a disaster. And disappointment, but that wasn’t anything new.
If it’s what Alan wants, then she’s going to try harder.
She made a mistake earlier. She only focused on her sense of smell, and that was wrong. Remembering all wolf lessons that she got as a child, they always empathized on focusing all senses. That’s where she was at fault. And now she’s going to redeem herself by concentrating on her sense of smell, hearing, taste, touch, and sight. She made a mistake by listening to Alan and closing her eyes. That wasn’t right - not all mates are always right; she should write it down in her head.
Emma took in the forest’s fresh air and cleared her head. She needs to find her wolf and wake her up from her sleep. Emma could do it. She trusted herself. Emma relaxed her muscles so the tension would fall off. She got this. She got her wolf somewhere inside.
For a brief moment, Emma could feel everything. She could hear the flies buzzing, she could see the spiders creating their webs, she could smell the faint odor of wolf - that was Alan’s scent. Emma let out a cry when she felt a little tugging in her mind. As if something was pulling on an invisible string. The string vibrated. She felt happy; she felt whole, but then it went away. The line disappeared, and her mind no longer tingled. It was just mere seconds, yet it made Emma happy like never before. Did she have her wolf after all? Was she like Alan all this time? Where was her other half hiding then?
She was about to call Alan and tell him about her achievement when she caught that awful smell. She stuck her tongue out to use her sense of smell, and a metallic taste hit her. It was like licking an invisible iron. She knew that taste - it was blood.
Emma quickly followed the smell. She felt terrible; something was tugging at her heart, and it was uncomfortable. Did something happen to her mate?
She rushed after the feeling. She followed her senses. Now that she had a hope that she was like the rest of her family, she wished to act upon it. She will trust herself more.
It didn’t take long, but she wished it did. Horrific sight welcomed her. The bodies were lying side by side, no life visible in them. Blood covered them. It seemed like someone slit their throats. Emma turned up her nose at the sight. She came closer; she was curious about their identities. She knew that they were girls - young ones, she presumed. All of this was so wrong. She should get help, but why did her body keep moving toward them? She should call Alan, or the police, ambulance, something. She couldn’t stop her curiosity.
She took a closer look. The girl on the left was bleeding a lot; it was a fresh cut. Was the one that killed them still close? Was he waiting to kill Emma too? She shook head and focused on the girl. She was pretty. Braided hair was covering her face, but Emma could still see her dark eyes wide open. Her dark skin was pale and cold - dead. Emma recognized her; they used to go to the same middle school. Her name was Sonya.
Emma cursed. There was no help for her as she was already dead.
The girl on the right seemed more alive. No blood was coming out of her cut on the neck, and her hazelnut-like skin had some color in it. Emma felt too pale next to her. The girl’s eyes were closed. Emma raised her hand and brushed the silk, black hair away from her face. Emma’s breath hitched. It was Olivia Hong, the town’s sweetheart. Emma always admired her, especially her dancing skills. Olivia was beautiful and breathtaking. The young wolf couldn’t help but stare at her. For a moment, Emma felt the string in her mind again.
Then it faded again, and Emma remembered that she has to call for help. She stopped touching Olivia’s cheek (like some creep) and pulled out her cellphone. Emma dialed the number for police, and after talking to them for minutes, explaining to them her situation, Emma leaned against a tree and waited. She knew that she should get Alan, but she had no idea how. The wolves usually don’t carry a cellphone with them as they don’t have anywhere to put in. Maybe Alan found some way to bring it with him? So Emma decided to give a try and text him about what happened.
It didn’t take Alan a long time to find her. Emma noticed how out of breath he was, and she wondered where he was all this time. Where did he wait for her? What exactly did he want from her? She couldn’t ask him.
Worry filled his ocean eyes as he looked at the dead bodies of Sonya and Olivia Hong. Emma hoped that Olivia was still alive, even if she was no longer breathing.
“How did you find them?” Alan asked, pulling his girlfriend into a tight hug. He nuzzled into her neck and inhaled her scent. He is like a real wolf, Emma thought.
Emma pulled away. “I smelled the blood.” She didn’t know how to explain what she felt at that moment when she used her wolf abilities. She wanted Alan to know that there was something in her. But how to tell him? “I…”
Alan kissed her pale fingers. “It’s okay. I know how overwhelming it is.”
Did he? How could he know what was going through Emma’s mind right now? How could he possibly know what joy it brought to Emma? He didn’t have to wait ten years to see that he’s worth something.
Emma didn’t know what to do, and so she embraced her future mate. She will tell him one day. She will tell him everything, especially about the subtle tugging in her mind.
They were waiting for some time when Alan suddenly stepped away and walked over to the dead bodies. “Didn’t you say that they were dead?”
“Yeah. Why?”
Alan looked her in the eye. “That one is still breathing,” he said, pointing toward Olivia Hong.
Emma jolted and ran over to the young girl. It was impossible. When Emma arrived, none of the girls were alive, though Olivia had more color to her and seemed alive. She stood there for a long time to know. But when Emma crouched down and pressed two fingers to Olivia’s neck, she nearly jumped upon feeling the faint heartbeat.
Emma couldn’t believe it. Impossible. That was way too freaky. Emma slowly touched her own neck and felt the necklace. She slid on the chain to touch her pendant, but she felt nothing. Emma looked down only to find no vial and no flower.