Work Text:
New Message
07/13/2018, 7:13 AM PST
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: Roommate And Moving Information: Fall 2018 Semester
Dear Sebastián,
We hope you are enjoying your summer, and we’re excited to welcome you to campus in the fall. The Office of Residential Life has been hard at work matching first-year students to their roommates based on the surveys you filled out in June. In this message, you will find your roommate information as well as the date and time you are scheduled to move in on campus. Please note that the time assigned to you is when your move-in window BEGINS. It is recommended that you complete the moving process within a few hours of your start time, to ensure efficiency with getting settled in your residence hall. The Office of Residential Life will contact you with further instructions for moving day later this summer.
Your scheduled move-in date and time is: 08/12/18 1:00 PM
Your roommate is: Benjamin Shaley
Your roommate’s Kiersey email address is: [email protected]
*
07/13/2018, 8:33 AM PST
hernadezzy43 requested to follow benwiththegoodhair
8:35 AM PST
benwiththegoodhair accepted your follow request
Direct Message
hernandezzy43: hey man!!
hernandezzy43: i saw kiersey hockey in your bio
hernandezzy43: i think you’re my roommate???
benwiththegoodhair: DUUUUUUUDE
benwiththegoodhair: yes i am i just got the res life email
benwiththegoodhair: HOCKEY GANG!!
benwiththegoodhair: whats your snap and/or phone #?
*
New contact created: Ben Shaley
iMessage
07/13/2018, 8:40 AM PST
Me: hi its sebastián!
Ben: what the fuck is upppppp my dude
Ben: im so excited
Ben: im AMPED
Me: SAME
Ben: so like
Ben: are you from arizona??????
Me: yes!!!!!
Me: im from tempe
Me: which is just outside phoenix
Ben: bruhhhh
Ben: a.) how did you get into hockey in the literal fucking desert
Ben: b.) why are you going to college in new hampshire
Me: i love the coyotes!!! i always wanted to play
Me: and kiersey reached out to me
Me: sort of
Ben: ah a yotes fan
Ben: i am a providence bruins loyalist
Ben: because
Ben: rhode island is the greatest state in the union
Me: but it’s so small???
Ben: don’t disrespect my homeland
Ben: rhode island could beat any other state in a war
Me: uhhhh
Me: well okay if you say so
Ben: :D
Ben: but yeah so if it wasn’t obvious
Ben: i’m from rhode island
Me: thats sweet bro
Me: do you live near the ocean?
Ben: well i live in providence
Ben: so like
Ben: yes but actually no
Ben: its not a long drive though i love the beach
Ben: i wanted to be a lifeguard this summer but apparently that requires “training” and shit
Ben: so i am delivering pizzas
Ben: again
Me: LOL i also work at a restaurant
Me: but im in the kitchen
Me: also thats so cool
Me: ive never seen the ocean irl
Ben: fr??????
Ben: okay when we get to campus
Ben: my first mission is to get you to the beach
Me: hell yeah that sounds fun
Ben: wait what time is it there right now?
Me: oh its 8:43
Ben: yoooooo are you gonna get jetlagged when you come to campus
Me: like… maybe?
Me: idk ive never left this time zone
Ben: i guess three hours isnt that much jetlag
Ben: but anyway
Ben: so what position do you play
*
New Message
07/27/2018, 9:40 AM PST
TO: [email protected] and 28 others
CC: [email protected] , [email protected]
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: Kiersey Men’s Hockey: Pre-Season Information And Roster
Dear gentlemen,
To our new players, welcome to Kiersey Men’s Hockey, and for those of you who are returning, welcome back. My name is Dan Allard, and I’ve been in contact with each of you, including our new recruits, at some point over the course of this summer. I’m looking forward to seeing you all on campus next month for preseason.
Attached to this message, you’ll find the roster for the 2018-19 season as it stands currently. We’re looking forward to the addition of three freshmen to our squad. Most of you will find the rest of the names familiar.
Preseason starts on Monday, August 13th. By now, those of you who will be living on campus should have received an email from residential life with your assigned moving day and time, which should be taking place prior to that date. Reach out to me if you’re having any issues with res life and I’ll see that they’re taken care of.
Our captain this year will be in touch later this summer with more details on preseason, as will I. To our freshmen, I’m looking forward to meeting you, and to the rest of you, I’ll see you again soon. Don’t hesitate to be in touch with either myself or Coach Ince (CC’d on this email) if you have any questions or concerns.
Best,
Dan Allard
Head Coach— Men’s Hockey
Kiersey College Athletics
Attached: 1 Spreadsheet
*
Direct Message
Group: benwiththegoodhair, hernadezzy43, rtremblay20
07/27/2018, 5:09 PM PST
benwiththegoodhair created this group
benwiththegoodhair: okay so
benwiththegoodhair: through vigorous stalking based on the hockey email
benwiththegoodhair: i have determined that we are the three frosh on the team
benwiththegoodhair: hello gentlemen
hernandezzy43: hi!!!
rtremblay20: Hello
rtremblay20: I’m Remy
hernandezzy43: nice to meet you remy!!
hernandezzy43: i’m sebastián
benwiththegoodhair: i’m ben…
benwiththegoodhair: with the good hair
rtremblay20: It’s nice to meet you both
benwiththegoodhair: leak your # and i’ll make a group chat
rtremblay20: Oh
rtremblay20: I’m in Canada… is that okay?
benwiththegoodhair: well we could do it on snap instead
rtremblay20: I don’t have snapchat
hernandezzy43: remy make a snapchat challenge
benwiththegoodhair: ^^^^^
rtremblay20: I don’t know how to use Snapchat
hernandezzy43: we’ll teach you!!
benwiththegoodhair: it’s not hard once you get the hang of it
rtremblay20: I’m like a 70 year old with technology…
benwiththegoodhair: do it bro
benwiththegoodhair: peer pressure
hernandezzy43: wow college is intense
hernandezzy43: i’m not even on campus and i’m participating in peer pressure
rtremblay20: Hahaha
benwiththegoodhair: im serious bro
benwiththegoodhair: we need a frosh gc
rtremblay20: What’s wrong with this frosh gc?
benwiththegoodhair: instagram sucksssssss
hernandezzy43: hey, i like instagram!
benwiththegoodhair: well yeah for like selfies
benwiththegoodhair: not for group chats
hernandezzy43: we can’t all post thirst traps
benwiththegoodhair: HEY
benwiththegoodhair: ok anyway im ignoring him
benwiththegoodhair: remy
benwiththegoodhair: make snapchat
rtremblay20: I’ll think about it
benwiththegoodhair: booooooooo
*
Snapchat
07/27/2018, 7:57 PM PST
rtremblay20 sent you a friend request!
*
Snapchat
Group: hernandezzy43, benwiththegoodhair, rtremblay20
07/27/2018, 8:01 PM PST
ben: SUCCESS
Sebastián: 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Remy: I dont know how to work this app
ben: you’re doing a good job
ben: i’m proud of you
ben: now
ben: tell us about canada
*
Snapchat
Group: hernandezzy43, benwiththegoodhair, rtremblay20
08/03/2018, 10:11 PM PST
ben: WAIT I JUST REALIZED
ben: ROAD TO MOVING DAY 9 DAYS LEFT LETS GOOOOOOOO
Remy: Oh wow!!!! It’s so soon!!
Sebastián: wait a second
Sebastián: i just got off work
Sebastián: isnt it like one in the morning for both of you
Sebastián: why are you awake?!??!?
ben: because i like to party next question
Remy: I’m like a softcore insomniac
Remy: It’s kind of bad
Sebastián: both of you!!! GET REST
Sebastián: ben are you gonna make me stay up this late when we room together
ben: no you can go to bed like a 90 year old man if you please
Sebastián: RUDE JAJAJAJA
ben: …
ben: ja ja ja?
Sebastián: oh like
Sebastián: hahaha
Remy: Lol, bilingual crew rise
Sebastián: yeah!!!!!!!!
Sebastián: bilingual crew!!!!
ben: “Lol, bilingual crew rise”
ben: remy
ben: i think thats the first time ive seen you use text lingo
ben: im so proud of you :’)
*
iMessage
08/05/2018, 5:44 PM PST
Ben: HEY WAIT BTW
Ben: sorry this is random but
Ben: my mom just reminded me
Ben: my grandparents want to get us like a mini fridge
Ben: but if you got one already i’ll say no
Me: oh no i dont have one!!!
Me: are they sure?? thats so nice!
Ben: yes theyre sure
Ben: all hail nana and nonno deluca
Ben: the italian mafia side of the family has its perks
Me: wait, are they actually in the mafia?
Ben: its a secret no one knows for sure
Ben: but my uncle reno is DEFINITELY in the mob
Ben: the whole family knows but no one says shit
Me: that’s kind of badass but also scary???
Ben: no its cool because
Ben: if anyone ever crosses me
Ben: i can tell them my uncle is in the mob
Ben: scares them off quick
Me: i’m suddenly scared of being your roommate
Me: if i’m messy are you calling the mob on me
Ben: PFFFF no dude
Ben: i only call the mob on heterosexuals
*
iMessage
08/07/2018, 9:32 AM PST
You sent a picture
Me: hey so my mama thinks we could make use of this shelf
Me: do you think so??
Ben: yes thats a nice shelf
Ben: free real estate for our books for class
Ben: think about it
Me: you’re right!!
Ben: everybody say thank you mrs hernandez
*
Snapchat
Group: hernandezzy43, benwiththegoodhair, rtremblay20
08/09/2018, 2:02 PM PST
Sebastián: i just finished packing
ben: ROAD 2 KIERSEY
ben: im fucking AMPED
ben: respect for being done with packing so early
Remy: Early??
Remy: We move in in 3 days?
Remy: Are you not done?
ben: lmaooooo ive barely started
ben: but in my defense
ben: i am the second college student in my family
ben: so my mom is like meh we will be fine
Sebastián: ngl dude that’s stressful to read
Sebastián: i think i’d be freaking out if i weren’t packed rn
Remy: I’ve been packed since July…
ben: of course you have
ben: nerd
Remy: :(
*
iMessage
08/11/2018, 6:22 PM PST
Ben: dude
Ben: TOMORROW
Me: I AM SO EXCITED
Ben: SAME
Ben: our room is gonna be LIT
Me: i can’t wait to like actually meet you!!! lol!!!
Ben: ME TOO
Ben: you had better not be like. smelly
Me: D:
Me: #rude
Me: i am NOT smelly
Ben: ill be the judge of that
Me: we both play hockey…
Ben: a self respecting hockey man can wear fragrance!!!!!!!!!
*
August 12th, 2018
On the morning he’s set to leave for college, Sebastián Hernandez wakes up ready to cry.
Look, don’t get him wrong. He’s excited. He’s so excited. It’s just that he has to say goodbye to Mama today, and this is something he’s known he would have to do all summer but still hasn’t prepared himself for.
The goodbye process began last night, sort of. He saw his friends during the day, and got to say goodbye to Raf; parting from his childhood best friend was never something he could have prepared himself for. A good handful of his extended family members gathered at Tio Geraldo’s for dinner, which isn’t an unusual thing to happen in his family but felt extra unusual given his waiting plane ticket and packed suitcases at home.
At home, before bed, he said goodbye to his sisters, which… that was hard. Gabi and Rosa are eight, not even, and being their big brother has been one of his most important jobs ever since they were tiny little babies. He walked them up to their room with hugs and promises to FaceTime them plenty, and only minimal tears, which he hopes he did a good job of hiding from them. He knows that all of this emotion is his own doing; after all, he could have gone to ASU, with Raf, could have stayed close by and avoided all of the hard goodbyes. But there was just something about Kiersey, something about the way their admissions people and coaches wrote to him, something about reading about the school online— something was calling his name.
So he’s going. All the way from Arizona to New Hampshire. And he’s so, so excited. But he’s leaving all the people he loves for the very first time in his life, and he’d be lying if he said that wasn’t intimidating and difficult.
He wants to believe it’ll be worth it.
So he wakes up. His alarm clock goes off at four in the morning, and it’s criminally dark outside to be getting out of bed— but they have to be at the airport for four-thirty, since his flight is bright and early, and Mama doesn’t want to be taking any timing chances. When he rolls over in bed, he can already hear Mama up and at it in the next room over. He figures it’s only going to be a few minutes until she’s rapping on his door.
He sighs at the ceiling of his childhood bedroom. The next time he wakes up, it’ll be in a dorm room in New Hampshire.
He’s so ready. And so scared, at the same time. He figures it’s a healthy mix of college emotions.
*
Tio Geraldo meets them at the airport terminal. He has a small suitcase and he’s wearing a button-down patterned shirt like he’s headed on vacation, which is a little funny. “Good morning, Sebastián,” he says, then smiles and nods to Mama at his side. “Got him out of bed, I see?”
Mama chuckles, and Sebastián feels her hand, steady on his shoulder, like she can tell he’s trying hard not to come apart. The car ride to the airport, alone with her for the last time until Christmas break months from now, was hard enough. “Believe it or not,” she says to Tio, “he woke up on his own.”
Tio grins. “Good man,” he says. “He’s ready for college starting.”
Sebastián loves his uncle— his papa’s twin brother, Tio has been a father figure to him all his life, but especially in the months since they lost Papa earlier this year. The gaping hole in Sebastián’s life where his papa used to be will never really close, but he’s grown even closer to Tio in these months of grief. What he really wishes, deep down, is that Papa were the one getting on the plane with him, who will travel with him from Sky Harbor Airport all the way to Boston Logan and then to Kiersey and back again by himself. But Papa is gone, and Sebastián, despite the grief that will never go away, knows that full well— so because Mama has to stay home to work and look after Gabi and Rosa, Tio is making the trip with him. Traveling across the country, to do him a favor.
Sebastián loves his family.
“So, uh.” Tio looks over his shoulder, toward the escalator beyond them; it leads up to security. The terminal isn’t very crowded, but then again, it’s four-thirty in the morning. Everyone who’s here is probably getting on the same flight he is. “Got your boarding pass?”
Sebastián pats his pocket. “Right here.”
Mama nudges him. “And your ID,” she adds. “You’ll need your license.”
“I know, Mama.” He tries a smile, which is harder than it should be, for some reason. He taps his other pocket. “It’s in my wallet.”
Sebastián knows what they’re both thinking. He knows what all three of them are thinking, standing here in the terminal. This is where they say goodbye.
Well. No. This is where he says goodbye. To Mama.
He wonders who’s going to break this moment, who will initiate goodbye— and then realizes, as he looks down at her and she smiles up at him, that he’s going to have to be the one to do it.
“Uh…” When he tries to speak, he realizes he doesn’t have much of a voice. He’s cried a handful of times over the past twenty-four hours— a few tears were shed when he left Raf’s house, and despite hiding them from his sisters, he had a few after they went to bed, too. The truth is irreversible, and he can't help that it makes him cry. He's leaving. And maybe he’s making a—
No. He has to do this. He has to go to school. Kiersey is the school that wanted him, and it’s where he’s meant to be.
Even if it’s hard to say goodbye.
Mama, because she knows— she always knows— takes him by both forearms and squeezes tight. “Text me when you’re to the gate,” she tells him. “And again before you take off. And then when you land. Okay?”
“I will.” His throat feels tight, but he nods. The world is getting a little misty, and Mama still must be able to tell, because the next thing he knows she’s pulling him into a long, squishy hug, and he presses his face down into her shoulder, and tries to memorize the way a hug from his mama feels so that he won’t go too long without remembering.
“You’ll do great, mijo ,” she’s saying, her voice muffled somewhere in the hug. “I’m so proud of you.”
And okay, yeah, that kind of does it, because he squeezes his eyes shut to try and get the tears to go away but now he’s really crying; he feels that his cheeks are wet, and he hopes Mama won’t mind if he messes up her shirt by crying on it. He knows he should speak, should say something, but everything in his chest feels so tense that he’s worried he’ll ugly sob if he tries. He nods against her shoulder instead.
“I love you,” Mama adds, and he has to return that . So as hard as it feels, he gets out, “I love you, Mama,” and she squeezes a little tighter, because she knows it’s hard. She always knows. She’s always going to know, no matter how many miles are between them.
“Have a safe flight,” she says, when they’ve pulled away from the hug that could never be long enough. She holds him by his shoulders, which is funny because he’s at least half a foot taller than she is, has been since middle school. “Or, you know what? Don’t text me when you land. Call me, okay?”
“Okay.” He nods, and wipes at his damp face with the back of his wrist. Is this what the entire day is going to be like? Holding in what feels like an entire torrent of tears? He doesn’t want to be crying when he meets Ben and Remy and who knows who else. “I will. I’ll call you.”
“Perfect.” Mama smiles, and it’s every bit as bittersweet as everything feels. He hasn’t seen her cry since Papa’s funeral, but he realizes now that her eyes are glassy, which just makes him want to cry harder .
He has to be stronger. He has to start acting like a man. He can’t cry so much. He takes a long, deep breath, and, a little steadier now, repeats, “I love you,” to Mama.
“I love you, too.” She squeezes his shoulders, and then drops her hands. “Now, go.” She tips her head toward the escalator. “I don’t want you to be late.”
Tio, for his part, looks like he has a mission to keep up his spirits. He pulls his suitcase handle up and smiles at him, beckoning for him to follow. “C’mon, college boy.” With his free hand, he claps him on the shoulder. “You’ve got places to be.”
And despite all the bittersweet of the past twenty-four hours, Tio is right. He does have places to be. And those places are waiting for him.
So with one last wave to Mama, he follows Tio up to the escalator, and there’s no turning back.
*
Snapchat
Group: hernandezzy43, benwiththegoodhair, rtremblay20
08/12/2018, 5:11 AM PST
Sebastián sent a Snap to the group
Sebastián: good morning from the phoenix airport
Sebastián: im on my way!!!!!!!
Sebastián: well sort of
Sebastián: my flight boards in like 20 minutes
Remy: Wow, isn’t it really early there?
Sebastián: haha yes it’s 5:12
Sebastián: and yes i am half asleep
Sebastián: ive never been on a plane, i’m hoping i turn out to be one of those people who can sleep on a flight
Remy: Are you nervous about flying for the first time?
Sebastián: not really, i’ve always wanted to
Sebastián: i think my tio is though
Sebastián: my uncle*
Sebastián: he keeps asking me paranoid questions LOL
Remy: Hahaha
Remy: Well hopefully you’ll be able to sleep
Sebastián: so its like… 8:13 there?
Remy: Yes, it is
Remy: I just got on the road
Sebastián: you’re DRIVING???
Remy: Yes
Remy: It’s going to be around six hours
Sebastián: JEEZ dude i might beat you there!! and im coming across the country!
Remy: The GPS has us arriving at like 1:50 right now
Remy: So if we don’t hit traffic… we should be okay
Sebastián: what are you gonna do in a car for 6 hours?
Remy: What are you going to do on a plane for six hours?
Sebastián: ohhhh shit challenge accepted
Sebastián: i do want to sleep
Remy: I wish I could sleep in the car
Remy: I am listening to podcasts instead
Sebastián: oooh, what podcast?
Remy: The Adventure Zone
Remy: I am a geek, and I don’t care
Sebastián: that’s cool!!!!!!
Sebastián: i don’t know that one
Sebastián: you’ll have to educate us
Sebastián: well i guess i’m speaking for ben without knowing if he knows it but
Sebastián: i also don’t think he’s awake rn
*
Ben Shaley sleeps in on accident, which is a great move until Mom comes to his door.
“Benjamin!” She’s rapping on the inside of it before he’s even fully conscious, which is sort of useless given he always sleeps with the door open. In the Shaley household, a closed bedroom door means you are obviously up to illegal activities such as watching porn, smoking cocaine, and disrespecting the Lord.
“It’s time to get up!” Mom continues, as he rolls over to face the door. He has a small headache, but it’s his fault for staying up until two. He guesses that maybe wasn’t the greatest move on the night before college moving day, but in his defense, he was binging Parks and Rec . “We need to leave for Mass in ten minutes.”
Ben tries to hide his groan. Mass . Right. Because even when it’s your moving day for college, Sundays are for the Lord.
“I’m awake,” he tries, and his voice comes out all raspy, but at least it’s something. He pushes his hair out of his face. It’s a tangled mess, and he’ll conquer it once he gets his bearings. To accentuate his witty first statement of the day, he flashes a thumbs-up in the direction of the door.
“I’m serious,” Mom adds. She doesn’t sound mad , just like she means business. It’s a typical Brenda Shaley pre-church emotion. “You need to be in the car in ten minutes or we’ll be late.”
He sits halfway up in bed and rubs his eyes. “On it.”
Mom disappears from the doorway when she seems satisfied with his state of consciousness, which is bold of her, because with the way he feels right now, he’s going to be a zombie through all of Mass. He has to be awake, though, at some point today— because right after church, they’re driving up to Kiersey. His room is in a slight state of disaster given how many bins there are in the middle of the floor, but that’s okay. All part of the game. He has less stuff to bring to his dorm than his older sister, Emma, did two years ago when she moved in at Providence College.
Which makes her a traitor, by the way. Because Kiersey College is a rich Shaley family tradition, one Ben is proud to uphold. Enrolling there is pretty much the least disappointing thing he’s done in the past couple of years. Tattoos on his eighteenth birthday? Check. Growing out his hair way past his shoulders and becoming a connoisseur of the man bun? Check. Illicit queer activities behind his parents’ backs?... Yeah, check. Kiersey College is the place he goes to get away, to make himself, to escape expectations. For years , he’s been dreaming about college, dreaming of this day. Now it’s here.
And only one Sunday Mass stands between him and a quick two-hour drive up to Kiersey, where his college life will begin.
So he rolls out of bed, tosses his hair up into a bun, and dutifully gets his shit together.
*
Snapchat
Group: hernandezzy43, benwiththegoodhair, rtremblay20
08/12/2018, 8:42 AM EST
ben: im awake
ben: lol i have to go to church
ben: and then KIERSEY HERE I COME
Remy: Nice!
Sebastián: 🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊
Sebastián: i missed mass today i feel very guilty
ben: ahahaha just catholic guilt things
Remy: I missed it today as well
ben: wow you guys suck
ben: couldn’t be me💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼
Remy: Maybe I will listen to it between episodes of TAZ
Sebastián: are you guys going to find a parish near kiersey?
ben: definitely not personally
Remy: Maybe, but I’m used to Mass in French…
Sebastián: same here remy i like mass in spanish
ben: bilingual catholic headasses
Sebastián: bilingual crew rise...
Remy: ^^^^^^
Sebastián: oh shit my boarding group just got called
Sebastián: see you on the other side
*
Remy Tremblay has been in a car for three hours, and he’s starting to get a little restless.
The group chat has gone silent, because Sebastián is in the air on a plane and Ben is probably packing his car or something. Remy knows it’s kind of silly to be counting on the friends he hasn’t even met in person yet to keep him entertained, but he… doesn’t really have anyone from home that he texts on a regular basis. Unless Maman and Papa count as people to text on a regular basis. Memé has never really known how to work a cell phone, but when he left this morning, she made him a funny little promise— Remy, I want to learn to text, and then we can text each other while you’re away . He’d laughed, nodded, squeezed her bony hands. That sounds great, Memé .
Saying goodbye to home… was hard. Even in the past year, playing with the Remparts let him stay at home the whole time, so though he’s traveled far and wide for hockey, he’s never been away from home for more than two weeks at a time. Looking out the window at the countryside as they drive along, he wonders how much further. He hopes he won’t be all that homesick when he gets to Kiersey. He is excited for college, after all. He’s excited to play hockey. To study history. To maybe have friends, real friends, for sort of the first time.
That’s sort of unfair to his juniors teammates. He got along well with them, and he would consider them his friends. He just… never really clicked with them, he thinks. He’s maybe a little worried that the same thing will happen in college— but then again, Ben and Sebastián, at least over text, seem like they want to be his friend.
He hopes that’ll continue.
In his earbuds, the McElroys are talking, have been for hours now. He’s worried he’s going to finish this entire arc before the car ride ends, and then he’ll have nothing to listen to. His parents had the classical station on the radio when they left Quebec, but he’s pretty sure they lost the signal awhile ago.
He has his eyes out the window, where the day is overcast but the roadside is bright, summer green. In his peripheral vision, though, he sees Maman sort of waving in the front seat, and he pulls an earbud out when he realizes that she’s trying to get his attention.
He pauses the podcast. “Sorry?”
“I was just checking on you.” She twists in her seat and pats his knee. “We’re going to stop in twenty minutes or so, for some food, alright?”
“Oh, okay.” He didn’t realize he was hungry, but the mention of food is enough to make his stomach growl. “Thank you.”
Maman tips her head to the side a little. She’s smiling, just gently. “Are you getting excited?”
He smiles back, despite the deep-seeded nerves. The last thing he wants is for his parents to worry about him. “Yes,” he says. “I’m excited.”
Maman’s smile widens. “I’m excited for you,” she tells him, and then turns around in her seat again.
Remy puts his earbud back in, and resumes the podcast. While it plays, he opens his Maps app and checks their location. They’re nearly at the border, but Kiersey is still a good three hours away.
He really wishes he were capable of sleeping in the car.
*
Sebastián is already sort of crying when he sits down at the gate, and he thinks maybe he has a handle on it by the time the plane lifts off into the air. But the further they get from the ground, the more he realizes that no, okay, maybe he’s not done crying today. He feels like a little bit of an idiot, sitting in his cramped airliner seat next to Tio, trying so desperately to bite back the tears. He really doesn’t want Tio to think he’s not ready for college. Or worse, that he’s weak. That he’s not manly. He guesses Tio has seen him cry enough times in his life that he’d already have made that judgement at some point, but Sebastián just— God , he wants to be strong. He wants to be like Papa.
Maybe that’s why he’s so emotional. He’s going to miss Mama so much, and with every second he thinks about missing his family, he’s so hyper-aware of the fact that Papa is never going to see him doing this, going to college, making his family proud. Well, maybe he’ll see it, watching over him and all that, but Sebastián will never get to call him in the dorm on a morning before class and tell him how college life is going; he’ll never get to welcome him to a hockey game at Family Weekend. Papa never even got to see him graduate high school, and now he’s going to college and doing all these things and he’ll never get to be there for any of that.
Sebastián sighs and watches clouds roll by out the plane window. Sunrise has started to peak, just a little, since takeoff, and the light is harsh coming through the tiny window. He still has a lump in his throat, but at least he isn’t actively crying anymore.
Until Tio, from the other side of him, pats his shoulder like he wants to get his attention. Sebastián glances over at him. He’s wearing one of those neck pillows; Tia Teresa got it for him for the plane ride. It’s polka-dotted. For some reason.
“Hey,” he says, in a voice loud enough to hear over the engines but low enough that it’s meant only for the two of them. “I know it was hard to say goodbye to your mama.”
And just like that, he wants to cry again. God! Quit crying. Be a man. You’re going to college. “Uh.” He swallows, and then nods, because what’s the use denying it? “It was.”
“I’m proud of you,” Tio says, which is a lot more sentimental than he gets on a regular basis, and Sebastián senses all of a sudden that they’re having a Serious Conversation. “Leaving home is never easy to do.”
Tio knows this, just as well as Papa knew it. They left home, a long time ago, before Sebastián was born. They came to Arizona from Sonora. Their parents came with them, but it was a long journey. Sebastián blinks, and holds on tight to the arm of the plane seat.
He senses, all of a sudden, that maybe he should just tell Tio how he’s feeling. It’s never been difficult to talk to him about things. And Tio, down-to-earth man that he is, will tell him what he needs to hear, no matter if it’s hard. “Tio?”
“Hm?”
“Do you—” He swallows again, takes a shaky breath. “You don’t think I’m making a mistake— right?”
“A mistake?” Tio turns in his seat, arches an eyebrow. “Come again?”
“With—” He gestures out the plane window, to where the clouds cover the desert below. When they land, there will be no desert in sight. Just… trees, he guesses. The pictures on Kiersey’s website have a lot of trees. “With going— so far from home. Do you think—”
But Tio is shaking his head, before he can even finish. “You’re not making a mistake.”
It’s validating, but when he thinks of Mama and his sisters and Raf and his friends, it still hurts. “But everyone I love is at home, and—”
“And we will still be here, when you get back home,” Tio says. “I promise you that, Sebastián. Home isn’t going anywhere. It’ll always be here for you.”
He sniffles. Maybe he’s doing a worse job hiding his tears than he thought. In the moment, he doesn’t care much. “You don’t think anyone’s disappointed that I’m— going so far?”
“Disappointed?” Tio furrows his brow. “Sebastián, you’re going to college . How could anyone ever be disappointed in you for that?”
He hangs his head. “I could have gone to ASU.”
“Maybe so,” Tio replies, “but you said it yourself, ASU didn’t feel like the place for you. If Kiersey is the place for you… it doesn’t matter how far it is.”
He tries to sigh, but it comes out a pathetic, teary noise, and he nods. While he gathers himself, Tio adds, “Sebastián,” and he’s a little more gentle now, something else uncharacteristic of him. “You’re the first person in our family to go to college. The fact that you’re going— that is a gift from God. You know that, don’t you?”
Sniffle. “I know that.”
“And we’re all very proud of you,” he adds. “Me and your mama and Teresa— your sisters and your cousins— all of us.” There’s a pause, and Sebastián sort of knows what’s coming before Tio even says it, but it doesn’t make it any less bittersweet when he adds, “Your papa. I know he’s so proud of you.”
Crying on an airplane is not something he thought he would do in preparation for college, but here he is. He hopes the flight attendants aren’t judging him. When he looks up and meets Tio’s eyes, he sees his papa’s eyes. It’ll never get easier, but he’s learned to accept that.
“I wish he were here,” he manages to get out, and how many times has he told Tio that exact same thing in the past seven months? He’s always going to wish that Papa were here. “But— thank you for being here. For me.”
“I’ll always be there for you,” Tio replies. “No matter how far from home you are. Got it?”
He nods. He’s sniffly and stuffed-up and teary, but he loves his family so much. “Thank you, Tio.”
“There’s no need to thank me.” Tio pulls his phone out of his pocket, then pauses as he looks at its screen. “Do you want to watch TV?”
Sebastián furrows his brow. “TV?”
“I downloaded some episodes of MasterChef.” It’s enough almost to make Sebastián want to smile, because MasterChef— and pretty much any cooking show under the sun— is his and Tio’s guilty pleasure. He nods, and adjusts the way he’s sitting so he can see his phone.
“Yeah,” he says, and this flight no longer feels like six hours of despair stretched out before him. “That sounds perfect.”
*
New Message
08/12/2018, 9:00 AM EST
FROM: [email protected]
SUBJECT: Important Room Information
Dear Benjamin,
On behalf of the Office of Residential Life, happy moving day! We’re excited to welcome you to campus. Please find a reminder of your room information below.
Your Room Is: Wilson Hall, Room 133
The student ID you received in the mail earlier this summer will unlock your room door. If you experience difficulty entering your room, your RA will be happy to assist you.
*
The first big win of the day, Ben discovers, is that his room is on the first floor.
This is nice because it means he doesn’t have to carry anything up flights of stairs. Wilson Hall 133 is down the first hallway and around the corner, and he’s pretty sure he’s the only one here, or maybe the only one besides the RA, whose door is already decked out with a whiteboard and various construction paper decorations. The hall, otherwise, is a little of a ghost town, which would make sense given he’s the first of his teammates to arrive, and also it’s preseason, so non-athletes don’t even move in for another ten or something days.
The door to 133 also has construction paper decorations on it. In fact, that seems to be a theme. There are two, both in the shape of apples, a red one and a green one. One says Ben and the other says Sebastián , and a quick glance around confirms that, okay, yeah, everyone’s door is apple-labeled. That’s kind of wholesome, actually.
And Brenda Shaley thinks so, too, because over his shoulder as he’s trying to swipe his Kiersey student ID, she goes, “Oh, look at that! The apples! That’s so cute.”
“Very artsy,” he replies, and then— click — the door gives.
Wilson Hall 133 is spacious, or at least he thinks it is, for a freshman dorm in college. The walls are actual walls instead of cinderblocks, so it’s already an upgrade from the freshman room he helped Emma set up at Providence two years ago. There’s a raised bed on either side as he enters, and he immediately feels in his soul that he wants the right side of the room, so it’s there that he goes.
“Look at this!” he cries, with a huge grin as he wheels around to face his parents. “Home sweet dorm!”
“Looks pretty nice,” Dad remarks, from the doorway, as he surveys the scene. Mom has already entered, and she’s going straight for the window against the back wall.
“Does this shade pull up?” She tests said shade, which has been lowered, and lo and behold, it does pull up. Sunlight spills into the room, and Mom smiles. “Oh, perfect. That’s much better.”
Dad looks from bed to bed, as Ben stations himself in the center of the room. “Which side are you thinking, bud?”
“That one.” He points to the right-side bed— well, left, now that he’s facing the door. Dad nods, and brings the bin of bedding he’s holding in to set it down at the foot of the bed.
“Now, Benny,” Mom says, with the air of someone who is about to go on a full-on mom mission, “how do you want to tackle this? Should you and Dad keep carrying things up, and I’ll help make up your bed?”
“Oh— uh, sure.” He doesn’t really have that much stuff, but with the room to himself, he figures he should take advantage of this part of the moving process before Sebastián gets here and has to do the same thing. “I’ll, yeah. Keep carrying.”
He knows his parents see the room as sort of a project, and they want to get it all done— but Ben has so much Goddamn adrenaline right now, he thinks he could run a marathon. This is it. This is college ! Kiersey’s campus is coming alive for preseason, and his other two frosh teammates are going to be here within hours, and he’ll meet the rest of the team tomorrow, and— it’s starting. It’s happening. He’s been waiting for this day for years , and now it’s finally here.
“Ready?” Dad asks, jutting his thumb in the direction they came from. The car is still outside, and still running, for all Ben knows. There are various Shaley siblings unloading it. Emma is already at school, because she’s an RA and has to be there early, but Abby and Joey came up for the ride to help.
“Ready,” he replies, and tries not to literally run down the empty dorm hall, past all the apple-decorated doors. With this much adrenaline, he might as well take it out on lifting and carrying things.
*
Kiersey’s campus is gigantic.
Remy knew this. He’s been here before. Last summer, when he came down for a scouting event, he got the chance to meet Coach Allard and skate in Meelia Arena, and he stayed overnight in the dorms for two days. So Kiersey’s campus being huge isn’t new news. But as his parents drive the packed car through the gates and he takes it all in through the window, it’s like coming to campus for the first time again.
This isn’t a hockey clinic, isn’t a quick visit. This place, with its gentle rolling hillscape, its open patches of grass between old brick buildings, its trees and little pond, its every corner shouting college at the top of its lungs— this is home , for the next four years of his life. He’ll live here, sleep here, hopefully make friends here.
He wants to have the greatest time. He’s so hoping that he will.
“Look, Remy,” Papa says, as they drive down one of campus’ few vehicular paths, following signs and traffic directors who will lead them to the freshman boys’ dorm, Wilson Hall. Papa is pointing out the window, as they drive past a familiar, pristine building, on a slight hill. “There’s the rink.”
And there’s the rink, indeed. Remy all but presses his face to the window like a child outside a candy store, as they drive past it. He’s skated on the Meelia ice before, but to take this in— to know that that’s his home rink for the next four years— that’s something thrilling beyond what he ever imagined.
Of everywhere on campus, he knows somehow that that place will feel the most like home.
They keep driving, and once Meelia fades from sight, he re-checks his email. Residence life sent him his room information earlier— he’s in room 125, and he found out through the Snapchat group he was peer-pressured into last month that Ben and Sebastián are in 133, which means (he hopes) that their rooms are close to one another. His roommate, Francis, isn’t here yet— won’t be for another week, since he’s not an athlete. They’ve messaged a few times. He seems nice enough. He’s from actual France, in Europe, and Remy doesn’t want to weird him out but also kind of wants to ask him a bunch of geeky questions about what it’s like to live in somewhere so old .
Because, like, he loves Quebec City. It’s his favorite place in the world. But he wants to walk through a European medieval castle more than he can even say.
Abruptly, Papa stops the car, for the first time since the deserted rest stop in northern Vermont. They’ve pulled up in front of a huge brick building with Wilson Hall on a sign next to its front door. His parents both turn backwards to face him. “This is it,” Maman says, with a smile.
And she’s right— this is it. This is home. For the year, at least. Who knows where he’ll wind up living his sophomore year.
Remy opens the car door. He cannot wait to stretch his legs.
*
Ben doesn’t consider himself, like, an expert on identifying Canadian culture in the wild, but he’s pretty sure that Remy just arrived.
He makes this wager because, sitting on his bed in his newly decorated room (well, half-decorated, until Sebastián gets here), he can hear conversation down the hall. At first, it’s faint, not so audible over the music he’s playing at a modest volume in his Bluetooth speaker. (He has to take advantage of the hall while there’s pretty much no one else living in it, right?) But the conversation grows a little louder— and that’s when he realizes it must be Remy.
Because the conversation… it’s in French. Sort of rapid-fire French, too, like even if he had taken French in high school— which he didn’t— he’s pretty sure he’d have no idea what they’re saying. There are three voices, two male and one female, and he knows Remy’s voice because of the handful of hockey frosh three-way calls he’s imposed upon him and Sebastián in the month since they found each other on the Internet.
So he has no idea what Remy is saying to the other two people who must be his parents. He just knows that he’s nearby.
Ben is alone. He’s been alone for about an hour, when his parents, Abby, and Joey said their goodbyes and headed back home to Providence. His room is set up now, and pretty much the only thing he’s done for the hour of solitude is sit here and wonder when the others are going to show up. There’s a football player who moved in down the hall, and he got to meet his RA, who, by the way, has blue hair, which is kind of badass— but other than that, nobody is here. And being in a college dorm with basically no one around is wild .
He waits, tactfully, for a few extra minutes once he starts to hear Remy outside. He doesn’t want to just barge into their moving process and try to start a conversation while he’s setting up his room. Their voices go back and forth, fading in and out, a surefire sign that they’re making trips to their car to carry stuff. When their voices return and stick around for a solid fifteen minutes, he figures that’s a sign they’re done unloading.
Ben is not a person who is great at just chilling by himself for long periods of time.
And, like. His teammate is right down the hall. He should at least go say hi .
He jumps off his bed, grabs his Vans from where he kicked them off earlier, and slides them back on. He leaves his phone on his bed, after checking, so briefly, in the front camera to make sure his hair looks okay. Not that it matters. Well, okay. It matters . It’s just that Remy probably won’t judge him by his hair. Or at least he hopes he won’t.
With a deep breath and a little stretch, he strolls out of his room and rounds the corner towards the sound of the wild Canadians in their not-so-natural habitat.
There’s a woman in the hallway, engaged in French conversation with the deeper of the two male voices that come from within the open door to room 125. The woman has straight, white-ish hair, like either it’s naturally super light blond or she’s gone gray early, given her features don’t look super old. When she seems to notice another person in the hallway, she looks his way, and then smiles.
“‘Allo.” She has a monster accent. “How are you today?”
“I’m great!” Ben tucks his hands into his pockets as he approaches. “Are you, uh… Mrs. Tremblay, by any chance?”
“I am!” Remy’s mom smiles, and she looks into room 125 expectantly, just in time for her son to emerge.
Remy Tremblay is cute. Ben knew this, sort of, because he’s been following him on Instagram and also occasionally Snapchatting him for a month now. But to see him in person is sort of a whole other story. His hair, like his mom’s, is white-blond to the point of being near devoid of any shade, so Ben figures it’s probably a genetic thing. His skin is just as pale, and his eyes, once Ben gets close enough to see, are grayish blue, bright, and beautiful. These are dangerous thoughts to be having about a boy who a.) you just met, and b.) is going to be on your team, not to mention c.) you have no idea what his sexual orientation is, but, like, whatever. It’s not a crime to notice pretty people.
“Ben!” Remy says, and Ben is sort of relieved he didn’t have to introduce himself, relieved that he was recognized. His selfies must have paid off.
“Hey, dude,” he replies, tucking one of his loose strands of hair up behind his ear. “You’re a real person! Wild.”
Remy laughs, as he makes his way by the few bins he’s stacked outside his doorway and meets him to shake his hand. “I am a real person,” he replies, and he, just like his mom, has such a thick accent. Which just makes him cuter. Of course. “It’s nice to actually meet you.”
“You, too.” Ben grins at him, as they drop hands. Remy’s dad, who looks a lot like him but has dirty blond hair instead, has joined his mom outside the doorway. “Hi,” he says, to the both of them, and waves. “I’m Ben. I’m, uh— I’m also a hockey player.”
“We’ve heard about you,” Mrs. Tremblay says. “I’m glad that you boys were able to get in touch before preseason.”
She and Brenda would get along.
“Do you need, uh—” Ben looks at the bins in the hallway, then cranes his neck to glance into Remy’s room. He’s filling the left side, the side Ben left for Sebastián. The other apple on his door says Francis, and apparently, Francis has yet to arrive. “Do you guys need any help carrying anything? I’m, like—” He points behind himself, toward where he came from. “My room is all set up, and I’m super bored, so if you want to put me to work—”
“You’re set up already?” Remy’s eyes widen a little. “How long have you been here?”
Ben shrugs. “Since… uh, I guess right around lunchtime?” He pauses. “I have no idea what time Sebastián is getting here, but, uh— well, I’m glad you’re here, because I won’t be by myself anymore.”
Remy smiles, which should be illegal, given how cute he can make such a simple expression. “I’m glad I’m not the first one,” he replies, and just like that, somehow in that shared smile, Ben knows they’re going to be friends.
*
Snapchat
Group: hernandezzy43, benwiththegoodhair, rtremblay20
08/12/2018, 1:50 PM EST
ben sent a Snap to the group
ben: get here seb!!!! look!!! i found remy!
Remy: ^^^^
Remy: Our rooms are really close to each other!
*
iMessage
08/12/2018, 2:15 PM EST
Me: we just landed in boston!
Mama:💛💛💛
Mama: How was your flight?
Me: it was good!
Me: we watched cooking shows
Mama: Glad it was good. 👍🏽
Mama: Miss you already.💛
You loved a message
Me: i miss you too
Me: i will call you once we get our bags
*
iMessage
08/12/2018, 2:17 PM EST
Me: hi babe!!
Me: i landed! im in boston!!!!
Me: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
READ 2:18 PM
*
Snapchat
Group: hernandezzy43, benwiththegoodhair, rtremblay20
08/12/2018, 2:30 PM EST
Sebastián: i have reached the east coast!
ben: LETS GOOOOO
Remy: !!!!!! Nice!
ben: see you soon bro
*
When the plane touches down at Boston Logan airport, Sebastián has been in need— for hours— to get out of his cramped, leather seat.
So de-planing is a relief. So is the walk through the airport. And so is the baggage claim. Basically everything is a relief, because the more things he checks off on the list of steps, the closer he is to Kiersey. The closer he is to moving into his room, and having this busy day be over. He’s been awake already for almost twelve hours, which is a lot of hours when you’re traveling and also sort of emotionally drained.
He isn’t crying anymore, though. His talk with Tio on the plane made him feel better. When Mama says she misses him already, the homesickness sets in, this little tinge in his stomach he knows will stick around— but he’s ready for this. Tio was right; Kiersey is the place for him. He’s the first person in his family to go to college, and he’s making his family proud by going.
So he’s ready.
A cab ride of less than an hour takes them from the airport to Kiersey. The first thing Sebastián notices about New England is that the pictures weren’t lying— there are a lot of trees. Everything is close together, too, which he knows is maybe just a sign of being in an urban area, but it still feels like there are a lot of people everywhere. The traffic situation is a little questionable, and he remembers Ben warning him about New England drivers. It’s warm here, not as hot as it was at home but a million times more humid. That’s going to be an adjustment. He feels like he’s in the tropical rainforest… except it’s all pine and maple trees.
But Kiersey College, when they finally arrive at campus, is a dream come true.
Everything is made of brick, and some of the buildings are huge. There are trees and greenery, not a sand dune in sight, and there’s a random pond in the middle of campus that doesn’t even look artificial. The surrounding town is quaint and picturesque, and this is just somehow exactly , to the T, how he imagined college would be.
And he’s barely even arrived.
“What do you think?” asks Tio, next to him in the back of the cab, as he’s staring out the window taking it all in.
He smiles sideways at him. “I feel like I belong here already.”
*
iMessage
08/12/2018, 3:31 PM EST
You sent a photo
Mama loved a photo
Mama: It looks beautiful there!
Me: so GREEN!!!
Me: i’m about to get to my dorm
Me: will send more photos
*
Wilson Hall is big and mostly quiet, for now. Sebastián drags his suitcase up the front steps, then rolls it into the lobby, where a res life staffer directs him to the first-floor hallway. Tio trails him, with the other clothes suitcase; they have two more big bags in the car. Packing your life to move across the country is, as it turns out, a difficult adventure. He shipped himself some stuff that he’ll have to pick up in the campus mail center, when it opens.
But for now, this. And Ben has promised him a Target run this afternoon, which will be good.
Which, also— Ben! He’s about to meet his roommate. He thinks he’s bursting at the seams to interact with another student. He wonders if Remy is here yet, too.
“Room 133,” he tells the res life guy, who nods and gestures to his left.
“It’ll be around the corner,” he says.
“Thank you!” Sebastián turns— and he doesn’t even have to round the corner before he finds people.
Two people. In the hallway, one leaning against either wall like they’re gatekeepers or something. They’re both white guys, but in different sort of shades— one is as pasty pale as they come, and the other is sort of olive-tan. The latter has his black hair piled up into a bun, and he’s leaning against the wall with arms folded and one knee bent, like he’s practicing a cool guy stance.
Sebastián knows that guy. He knows both of these guys. And when they both look back at him, he realizes they know him, too.
“ Yooooo !” His roommate, in the flesh, stands up straight and finger-guns him down the hall. Tall and lean but still shorter than him, Ben Shaley is every bit as punk rock in person as he looked in all of his pictures. “Dude! You’re here!”
“I’m here!” he echoes, with a laugh, and runs down the hall to meet his teammates.
“Hey, Sebastián.” Remy Tremblay has actual white hair and a super thick accent. He’s wearing a Quebec Nordiques t-shirt, like he’s the designated French-Canadian mascot. “Nice to meet you. In person.”
“You, too!” He shakes Remy’s hand a little too vigorously, maybe, but Remy doesn’t seem to care. Ben gives him a full-on bro hug, which is exactly the kind of wholesome stuff he needs in his day right now.
“Dude, our room is sweet,” Ben tells him. He has green eyes, a bright smile, and just really cool energy. They both have cool energy. Sebastián can’t believe it. He’s finally here. “You wanna come see?”
“Uh, yeah, I—” He lifts the handle on his suitcase. “This is, like, half my clothes.”
Ben grins. “ Nice , dude. I’ll help you unpack if you want.”
“I can help, too.” Remy pauses. “My room is pretty much done now. My parents went to get us food. Wait— Sebastián, do you want anything?”
“Any food?” They fall into step down the hallway, three across, and Sebastián realizes that he sort of left Tio in the dust. But when he turns around, Tio is following— at a distance, but still following, and he flashes this big thumbs-up at him.
I can do this , Sebastián realizes. I can make my family proud.
So he keeps walking, in step with Ben and Remy, and shrugs. “I… maybe could go for some food?”
Ben gives him a high five. “That’s the spirit.”
Around the corner, they reach room 133, and that’s how his life at Kiersey College finally, officially begins.