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You know purple isn’t really your color.
Jiang Cheng fought the urge to smash his head into his bowl of soup. His fiance had noticed how distressed Jiang Cheng had been throughout the entire meal, but all Lan Xichen could do at the moment was offer him looks of comfort. Lan Qiren was present, so he really couldn’t break the “No speaking while eating” rule, no matter how much he wanted to.
You need to eat more or else you’ll be too skinny for the wedding.
Jiang Cheng violently stabbed his chopsticks into another wad of bitter vegetables.
Jin Ling had also noticed how upset his Jiujiu had seemed that night, but he didn’t want to say anything, lest Jiang Cheng’s temper turn on him. Even Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi noticed the tension, but they wouldn’t dare comment on it.
Wei Wuxian was oblivious of course, too caught up in feeding his husband despite the nausea that would appear on Lan Qiren’s face every time he did so.
I don’t think you should go with red robes for your wedding because your face is almost always the same color. They would clash.
Jiang Cheng was now breathing heavily out of his nose, a rage simmering deep inside of him. The comments alone weren’t worth getting this worked up over, but he’d been hearing these things in his head for days now.
Nonstop.
At least today they weren’t snide comments about his sword technique or harsh judgments over his hairstyle of choice-
I just don’t understand why you won’t go with the bun? It would complement your face much better than that rat’s nest on top of your head.
He spoke too soon.
Jiang Cheng heard the sound of wood snapping. He looked down in horror to realize that it was his own chopsticks. Thankfully, only Jin Ling and Lan Xichen had noticed, but when they tried to shoot him questioning looks, he shook his head, trying to reassure them that he was fine.
Those chopsticks were handcrafted, you know.
No, Jiang Cheng didn’t know. He was more interested in figuring out how he was going to get away with murder rather than the origins on Lan utensils.
Stop scowling. You’ll get wrinkles and they’ll make you look even more unflattering-
Are you calling me ugly? Jiang Cheng projected back, having had enough of this.
You said it, not me.
You’re such an asshole! Do you ever shut up? How are you of all people this talkative?
Maybe you should go with dark green robes instead?
Are you even listening to me?
Yes, but I’m choosing to ignore you.
Get up. Let’s duel.
I’m eating my soup.
I don’t care! We’re duelling.
You cannot make me.
I swear to God-
Before Jiang Cheng knew what he was doing, he found himself aiming his sword at Lan Wangji, who’d already predicted what Jiang Cheng had been wanting to do, and was now blocking him with Bichen.
Everyone at the table gasped, astonished by the violence that had broken out of seemingly nowhere.
“What is the meaning of this?” Lan Qiren demanded, fist slamming on the table.
“What the hell?” Wei Wuxian cried out, head shifting back and forth between his husband and brother. Lan Xichen had similar sentiments.
The juniors were watching on with wide eyes and bated breaths.
Lan Wangji’s expression remained neutral, but there was a twinkling of amusement in his eyes.
Have I upset you? Apologies, Sect Leader Jiang . In return for upsetting you, please let me chose your robes for your wedding-
“Enough about my stupid robes!” Jiang Cheng screeched, flinging his sword off to the side and pulling at his hair. He was going insane. “Enough about my hair and my technique and my eating habits-!”
“What’s going on…” Lan Jingyi muttered.
“Has Jiujiu gone insane?” Jin Ling whispered to Lan Xichen who gave him a helpless look in return.
“You’re acting like an auntie!” Jiang Cheng hissed. “And I can’t take it! Next thing I know you’re going to be asking me why I don’t visit often enough-”
Well you don’t. And Lan Xichen and Wei Ying miss you here very much... For some reason.
Jiang Cheng groaned, running his hands over his face.
“See? That’s what I mean!”
But you do need help choosing your robes, you have no taste-
“Lan Wangji. I appreciate that, in your own... special. ..way you’re trying to help me but, really. I promise you, I’ve got it covered. I’ll even hire a wedding consultant if it’ll make you happy.”
Lan Wangji narrowed his eyes at Jiang Cheng trying to decipher whether he was lying or not, and then gave him one slow nod.
And you hair-
“I get someone for that too.” Jiang Cheng promised. “Just please, I beg of you, while we’re still under this curse, lay off. ”
“A curse?!” Wei Wuxian gasped, along with the rest of their forgotten audience.
In the back of his mind, Jiang Cheng realized how bizarre everything must’ve appeared, what with Lan Wangji’s lack of verbal replies and all. It must’ve looked like he was having a full blown argument with himself.
“You two are cursed?” Lan Xichen asked, his voice taking on a panicked tone.
Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji reluctantly nodded in unison.
“And what does this curse do? Make you two want to attack each other for no good reason?” Lan Qiren asked. He sounded bitter. He’d only wanted one peaceful meal, but with these people, it was unlikely that his dream would ever be fulfilled. At the last family dinner, his nephews had accidentally drunk alcohol instead of water and-
Lan Qiren was still scarred.
Jiang Cheng shook his head. “Not exactly. We can kind of...communicate telepathically…”
“What?!” Wei Wuxian cried out as Lan Xichen let out a breath of disbelief.
Jin Ling silently wondered if this was why it looked like his Jiujiu had lost his mind.
Lan Qiren sighed and went back to finishing his soup, prompting Jiang Cheng to continue.
“We accidentally inhaled some spiritually infused smoke on our last night hunt.”
We wouldn’t be in the mess if you had just let the juniors handle it.
Quit blaming me! That’s all you’ve been doing these past few days. Nagging and nagging and nagging-
“Wait a minute. So when you two go silent and get a blank look on your faces, are you guys actually communicating?” Wei Wuxian asked, sounding fascinated.
Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji reluctantly nodded again.
“Wow! That’s so cool!!” Wei Wuxian took note of everyone else's displeased expressions and immediately schooled his features. “I mean...terrible. Truly terrible.”
“Do you know when the curse will stop?” Lan Xichen inquired.
“We did some research and figured out it should end in a couple of days.”
Three days. Do you ever pay attention?
“Three days.” Jiang Cheng amended with a tired sigh.
“Woah, did Hanguang-jun just tell you that, Sect Leader Jiang?” Lan Jingyi blurted out, much to the mortification of his friends.
Jiang Cheng just rolled his eyes and Lan Wangji remained silent.
“But you two are fine otherwise?” Lan Xichen asked, trying to scan them for external injuries.
Jiang Cheng nodded, feeling guilty towards making his fiance worry. It’s why he and Lan Wangji had decided to keep it a secret in the first place.
And look how well that turned out.
You can just say “I told you so” and move on.
I hope you’ve learned your lesson.
Don’t worry I have, Ayi.
Lan Wangji choked and shot him a look. Jiang Cheng silently celebrated the fact that he was finally able to get an external reaction from the stone-faced Hanguang-jun.
But then again, Jiang Cheng would also be very thrown off if someone dared called him “Auntie”.
“We should retire for curfew.” Lan Wangji finally spoke. “Uncle, Sect Leader Jiang and I deeply apologize for our behavior.”
Jiang Cheng nodded, “We’re sorry.” Even though this was mostly your fault.
Lan Wangji ignored that.
Lan Qiren squinted at them, and then left, pinching the bridge of his nose, muttering some sort of prayer under his breath.
The juniors were then quick to bow and leave, secretly thankful for the diversion.
Lan Xichen went off to try and do damage control with Lan Qiren because he really didn’t want his Uncle to call off his wedding with Jiang Cheng. It was supposed to be happening in a month.
“I’m sorry Lan Huan!” Jiang Cheng had called after him before he left. Lan Xichen had sent him an exasperated but fond smile before exiting.
“Well, this has been weird!” Wei Wuxian said, clapping his hands together. “Lan Zhan, I’ll meet you back in the Jingshi! Bye A-Cheng!”
“Don’t call me A-Cheng.” Jiang Cheng snarled as Wei Wuxian walked out snickering.
You like it when your brother calls you that.
Jiang Cheng glared at him. I don’t remember asking for your input.
You did not have to.
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes.
When-
Jiang Cheng could sense Lan Wangji’s question before it had even fully formed.
Lan Huan and I are going fabrics shopping next week. Yes, you can come.
Good. I don’t trust you to pick out something good.
Jiang Cheng’s eye rolls had become involuntary at this point.
You don’t trust Lan Huan either then?
Brother wants to marry you, so I can’t be sure of his taste .
Jiang Cheng groaned, but as infuriating as Hanguang-jun was being, Jiang Cheng also found it kind of...nice to have someone else who cared about him...even if he showed it in unconventional ways.
It was oddly comforting.
And don’t forget your sword. Lan Wangji reminded him before he walked out the door. You shouldn’t be throwing important things like that around. You should know by now Sandu is not a toy.
Jiang Cheng felt a twinge of hysterical laughter bubble in his chest. He, an esteemed Sect Leader, had been scolded multiple times, like a child, by none other than the peerless Hanguang-jun.
“Thanks, Ayi .”
And Lan Wangji sent him one last withering glance before he left.
~