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The setting sun is shining through the kitchen window, illuminating the reds and golds of the maple tree outside. The wind rustles the leaves, making them dance to an autumn symphony. The kitchen smells like cookie dough and a heating oven. The TV can be heard, as well as soft clicks from Joshua stimming.
Darnold smiles as he pours another cup of chocolate chips into the batter. He could stay here forever- it’s really quite peaceful. He loves autumn. It’s such a beautiful season, that makes you want to curl up with cider and a soft blanket and cuddle your lover.
Speaking of, Gordon enters the kitchen, the crinkle of his ACUs giving him away. Darnold looks over and smiles, and then frowns. Usually he loves seeing Gordon in his National Guard uniform, but tonight he doesn’t want to. They had plans. He just wants Gordon to stay home for once. “Hey. I thought you were staying home tonight?”
Gordon sighs and shakes his head. “Last minute duty call. I have to work the gate.” He makes a face at this, and Darnold makes a wheeze-chuckle sound. Gordon hates manning the base gate, finding it boring and a waste of his time. Darnold’s had to listen to many a rant about how he ‘didn’t enlist to scan IDs’ and ‘it’s goddamn cold in those stands’.
Darnold appreciates Gordon joining the National Guard. After all, it gives them another source of income, and access to the PX and commissary on base. But it ruins their schedule. His fiancé is gone on duty or training so often, leaving Darnold to take care of Joshua and the house. He doesn’t mind taking care of Joshua (after all, Joshua would be his stepson soon! His heart still flutters at the thought) but he minds not seeing Gordon, or seeing him come home exhausted and drained from staying up all night.
Darnold still remembers the day Gordon told him he was enlisting. It was shortly after they’d started dating, and almost a year after the hellhole that Black Mesa Research Facility. Darnold had just returned from a therapy session, and they were sitting in the living room watching the Science Channel. He’d been laying on Gordon at the time, head resting on his chest. He found he felt safer here than he had in years, perhaps since he’d started working at Black Mesa. Gordon was his comfort, his mocha latte on a cold November day.
“Hey. Pumpkin,” Gordon said, his voice a soft rumble in his chest. Darnold made a hum of acknowledgement, not actually moving. “I’m going to join the National Guard.”
Darnold sat up at this, surprised. “W-Well that’s sudden. Why?”
Gordon shrugged nonchalantly, but his emerald eyes shined with something akin to enthusiasm. “I think it’ll be good for me. Get me uh, get me more active.”
“What about teaching? You’re not going to quit, right?” Gordon taught high school physics now, and seemed to love his job. He’d come home from work sometimes and just talk about his students and how they impressed him so much. Which made this even more strange.
“I can teach and be in the Guard at the same time. I’ll have to get a sub for boot camp, but that’s not that hard. It’s not a constant job.” Gordon’s smile hardened into a thin-lipped frown for a moment. “I just need to do something other than...I don’t know, stewing in my own trauma. I think it would be good for me! Keeps me fit, gives us more income...Maybe Joshua can go to school on base.”
“His father would never allow that.” Darnold said lightly, but perhaps it came out harsher than he meant, because Gordon looked strangely crestfallen. “I’m not...I’m not trying to discourage you. I’m just surprised. It’s sudden.”
“If you don’t want me to enlist I won’t. I can find something else,” Gordon replied softly, but the disappointment in his voice was evident. “I want you to be happy.”
Darnold sighed, twirling a piece of Gordon’s curly hair around his finger. He’d have to cut it off if he enlisted- wait, why is he mourning the loss of his boyfriend’s hair? Back on topic, Darnold. “Gordon, this isn’t up to me to decide. If you think it’s good for you and it’ll work for us, go for it! I think you’ll do great. Like I said, it’s just sudden is all.”
“So I can do it?”
“Of course you can.” Darnold smiled at the way Gordon beamed. Sometimes Gordon reminded him a little bit of a puppy, excited about the smallest things.
It would be a big change, but they could do it. And they did. The first few months were rocky, both of them adapting to the new schedule, but it worked out. A bonus of being National Guard rather than full Army was Gordon wouldn’t be reassigned to a different base, so Joshua could stay at one school instead of moving everywhere. There was a chance of Gordon deploying elsewhere in the country for a bit, but that would only really happen if something big happened in the country. A disaster, national emergency, both rare.
Just because they’ve settled into a routine doesn’t mean Darnold likes it. He wants to see more of his fiancé, and they need to plan their wedding more. Darnold’s parents are getting impatient and he’s tired of hearing it. That’s why Gordon having surprise duty tonight is so unnerving to him. “We were supposed to look at venues tonight.”
Gordon cringes, running a hand through his now short hair. Darnold has to admit, he misses the unruly mess of hair, but Gordon looks nice with the regulation cut too. He looks nice in general. “Sorry, babe. I can’t just tell the commander no.”
“I know, I know. It just...it’s just frustrating.” Darnold huffs, taking the bowl out of the mixer and setting it on the counter opposite him. Before he can turn around and grab the pans, however, Gordon wraps his arms around his waist and presses a soft kiss to the back of his neck. This elicits a smile. “You’re going to be home late again aren’t you?”
“Five AM.” Gordon mumbles into Darnold’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Work is work, right?” He turns so they’re chest to chest. Gordon’s a good three inches taller than him, but that’s fine. It’s a good height difference- kisses without having to go on tiptoe. “I’ll have cookies for you when you get home.”
Gordon smiles, dimples on full display. Endearing. Darnold cups his cheek, smiling a little at the way Gordon leans into his hand. “Where would I be without you?”
“Armless, perhaps? Looking for a babysitter?”
Gordon laughs, loud and bright. Darnold savors the sound. “You’re something, Darnold Pepper.”
“That’s Darnold Pepper-Freeman to you, sir,” Darnold replies with a grin. He still gets butterflies in his stomach when he imagines his new last name. It’s a wonderful feeling- he hopes this never fades.
Gordon’s eyes widen. “Slow down there buddy, we’ve still got a bit.” He glances at the stove clock and grimaces. “Shit. It’s almost 6, I gotta go. I love you.”
“I love you too.” Darnold gives him a soft, short goodbye kiss. He wishes it could’ve been longer as he watches Gordon hug Joshua goodbye and rush out the door, nearly forgetting his hat in the process.
Darnold spends the rest of the evening baking. When the first batch comes out of the oven, Joshua comes into the room as if summoned by the smell of chocolate chip cookies. He has that mischievous twinkle in his hazel eyes, one he inherited from Gordon no doubt. Sometimes it was scary how similar Joshua and Gordon looked.
Joshua signs, “Can I have one?” He’s nonverbal today, which is good for Darnold because he can practice his ASL.
“Sure.” He signs back, grabbing a paper towel and setting two on there. Joshua beams and signs his thanks, migrating back to the living room to play Crash Bandicoot for a little while longer. Darnold watches him from the kitchen for a moment, smiling. This wonderful boy is going to be his stepson. How could he ask for more?
Sure, living with Gordon could be a handful, from his constant talking to his horrendous habit of leaving the toilet seat up. Sure, it sucked when Gordon had overnight duty, or when he burned himself out so bad he could barely get out of bed in the morning. But the pros outweigh the cons. Darnold’s never felt more at home in his life than he does in the Freeman household. Joshua even called him Dad the other day.
Things can be rough, but such is life. Like the marriage vows. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse. That’s what family is about, right? Keeping each other together when things are rough, and being understanding when things change suddenly.
When he goes to bed, he leaves a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the table where Gordon normally sits. Hopefully, when he gets home he’ll see them and smile. A little reminder of his love.
A little something sweet at the end of the day.