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Simon walked into the kitchen with a smile and a small wave, the sunlight streaming through the open windows and hitting the floor below with a golden glisten. He yawned to himself, stretching his arms above his head, and peered around at the surrounding people. Roger and Jack sat silently at the table, both invested in their own phones sitting on the table. Maurice was sitting on the counter as he usually did, kicking his feet wildly and irritating Ralph as he did so, who sat opposite him as they both watched Piggy butter some toast.
"Good morning." Maurice greeted, dipping his head in a small nod. Piggy grabbed the toast and tossed it onto a nearby plate, which was quickly snatched up by Maurice who began to tear off the crusts.
"You're wasting bread, you know. You could just eat the crust." Piggy said sternly, raising a brow. Maurice looked up from his task to shake his head as if the idea of eating the crusts off a piece of toast was simply unimaginable. Piggy sighed and continued his task.
"I call the next piece of toast. Maurice, if you take it, I swear I'll fight you." Jack muttered from where he was sat at the table, glancing over his shoulder with piercing blue eyes. Maurice gave a joking salute as a response, and, having already devoured the toast, popped open the garbage can with his foot and dumped the remaining food on the plate into it. Piggy said something under his breath, but it was inaudible.
Simon looked around, his smile looking a little strange, but said nothing more. "Where are Sam and Eric?" He asked.
"They already left. They had plans. We're joining them later, if you want to come." Ralph piped up from the kitchen, poking his head around the corner. Simon nodded.
"Sounds good. I'll be upstairs." His voice was slightly different to how it usually was, and as soon as he had rounded the corner and began his walk up the stairs, everybody looked at each other with confused glances.
"What's wrong with him?" Jack said aloud, not actually expecting an answer. He got one anyways, but in the form of a sharp intake of breath and an aggressive hand waving wildly as Ralph jumped off the counter.
"We fucked up. We fucked up. We fucked up, guys-" Ralph's eyes were wide now, and he looked around helplessly as if he was expecting somebody to know what he was talking about. When nobody seemed to realize, tilting their heads in confusion and mumbling to one another, Ralph continued.
Ralph grabbed a nearby calendar, and pointed at the date, gesturing wildly. One by one, everybody understood.
"Fuck."
"That's not good."
"I thought Piggy was supposed to take care of this?"
"No I was not-"
"Shut up!"
A silence fell over the room, and Ralph cleared his throat. Everybody looked at him, their eyes following his movements as if expecting he could produce some sort of solution within moments. He could not.
"Okay! I've got it. Jack, Roger, you two stay here and plan the party. We'll pretend we knew all along. A surprise party!" Ralph suggested, and instantly was interrupted by Roger and Jack shaking their heads and stating that they would not be planning anything.
"There's no way in hell I'm staying here all day blowing up balloons, thanks." Jack scoffed, looking at Roger, who nodded quietly in agreement.
"What do you suggest, then?"
"Not that."
"Helpful."
"We could draw straws! That way it's fair to decide who gets to plan the party." Maurice said loudly, clearly trying to settle the argument that was about to boil over the surface. Piggy walked toward the group with another tower of toast sitting atop the plate, and gently placed it between everyone.
"We don't have straws." Piggy took a seat at the table now, and grabbed his own piece of bread, not as invested in the party planning as the others were.
Everybody was silent for a moment, brains empty of ideas or ways that they could solve the problem. The sunlight streaming through the windows was slowly moving as time ticked by.
"Wait! I've got it. Who needs straws anymore?" Maurice exclaimed, and quickly sprung from his chair and disappeared into the kitchen. A loud crash could be heard, followed by Maurice swearing, then some very aggressive crumpling and banging. Those still seated at the table attempted to get a look into the kitchen, but were not too concerned.
Ralph bit his nails in anticipation, his head swimming with thoughts. Jack didn't seem too concerned, and was leaning back in his chair, seemingly disinterested. However, all those at the table knew that was a lie, and that Jack was almost certainly worried that they wouldn't be able to pull something together for their friend. Piggy was still trying to see the cause of the kitchen commotion, and Roger sat still, looking intensely at the old wood of the table.
Maurice finally appeared, a plate in hands. Upon looking at what sat on the porcelain surface, Ralph wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"Are those your bread crusts?"
"Yes, they are indeed my bread crusts Ralph." Maurice lowered the plate so that all could see, grinning from ear to ear.
"How are bread crusts going to help?" Jack asked, now sitting upright and leaning forwards, clearly interested into this discussion.
"Use them like straws. The two people who pick the short bread crusts have to plan Simon's party." Maurice explained this as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, some fierce attitude creeping into his voice.
"We're fucked." Ralph groaned, holding his head in his hands and running his fingers through his hair. He slammed his head gently into the table, accepting his fate.
"That's not a positive attitude." Maurice waved his hand to the plate once more. "This is really the only choice, just accept it."
"I'm in, let's do it." Jack said with a quick shrug, and, seeing that this was going to be the fastest solution, everybody else nodded and closed their eyes as Maurice placed the plate in the middle of them. Hands grabbed clumsily in hopes to secure a long piece of bread, and once everyone had announced that they had their pieces, their eyes fluttered open.
Roger looked down at the crust in his hands and swore, hanging his head miserably. He looked over at Jack, a small amount of hope gleaming in his eyes, and then over at Maurice, before any positive emotions he had left were fully gone.
"I think Maurice and I got the tie for the longest crust." Jack announced, then peered over at Ralph and Piggy. "Piggy, yours is pretty long too. Looks like it's Ralph and Roger staying here."
It was now Ralph's turn to swear, and he too hung his head. The others stood up from their chairs, and called upstairs to Simon, who quickly came thundering down the steps. He looked around at everyone once more, as if he was expecting something different. A look of disappointment flashed over his face but was gone in an instant, so that the other boys thought they had imagined it.
Ralph and Roger remained seated at the table, saying nothing, even when the door had shut behind the other boys and the house began to settle from all the hustling and bustling. They still held their bread crusts in their hands, and when his crust had fallen apart between his fingers, Ralph looked over at his new partner with a grimace.
"I suppose we should get started." He suggested, trying to keep his tone light. Roger only glanced upwards in response and threw his bread crust gently into the middle of the table.
"This was the dumbest way possible to decide." He grumbled, and Ralph laughed a little, leaning his head against his hand as he looked down at the table once more.
"That, we can agree on."
The air was quite tense around them, and the long pauses between sentences was painful to bear. The sun was just barely glimmering from under the curtains, and it was quiet enough to hear a pin drop aside from a bird singing a note here and there, charming and melodious.
"We need supplies." Roger suddenly said, his eyes peering out from behind a curtain of black hair. Ralph brightened immediately, straightening up and locking eyes with the shorter boy. The awkwardness clung to them, yet they both pulled out their chairs and walked to the front door, fully silent until Roger grabbed his keys off the hook with a jingle.
"Where are we gonna be able to find party supplies?" Ralph asked. Roger looked back at him, tossing his keys in the air then easily catching them again, spinning the ring around his fingertip.
"Dollar store."
"Sounds good."
Ralph locked the door behind them as they left the house and sat in the passenger seat, strapping himself in and buckling his seat belt. Roger began backing out, and Ralph looked at him, concerned. Roger stopped, recognizing the look on his face.
"What's wrong with you?" He asked, his words not meant to be aggressive but they seemed to come out that way. Ralph shook his head quickly.
"Nothing."
Roger pulled out of the driveway in one swift movement, and Ralph jumped a little bit, grabbing the handle hanging above his seat and clutching it so tightly his knuckles began to turn white. His eyes were tightly slammed shut, and he seemed to be bracing for an impact that did not come.
"How bad of a driver do you think I am?" Roger asked, a tinge of annoyance in his voice.
"I remember when you learned how to drive. It was terrifying. You almost killed us, and I still think it was on purpose." Ralph said, his voice still slightly trembling as he looked sideways at Roger.
Roger sighed, exasperated. "Would you like to drive?"
"Yes, yes I would."
Roger got out of the car and made an effort to slam his door a little harder than usual. He rolled his eyes at Ralph as he clambered into the passenger's seat, doing a quick sign of the cross before he entered the car.
Ralph wasn't exactly known for his skills in driving. In fact, he was known for quite the opposite. Many stop signs had fallen victim to his lack of attention or him getting distracted by something as insignificant as a slightly larger than usual dog walking with it's owner down the street. Even Piggy, who is known for giving second chances, refused to get in the car if Ralph was at the wheel.
As soon as Roger sat down he could feel his heart beat slightly faster, but at least this was better than Ralph clutching the handle every five seconds in fear of being thrown through a windshield.
Ralph began to back out of the driveway, and Roger winced as he heard the sound of the garbage can being knocked to the ground and the clinking sound of the cans in their trashcan spilling onto the pavement.
"Oops!" Ralph looked over at Roger with a slightly nervous smile. Roger did not react and remained seated in silence.
Ralph continued to drive, which wasn't as bad as Roger thought it would be. He did have to point out things a few times and refocus him when he eagerly pointed at a small dog walking on a neon green leash, but for the most part it was bearable. The car was silent for the most part, neither boy uttering a word to one another but instead looking out the window at the cars around them, Ralph very clearly trying his best to make it a somewhat okay drive.
"So, what colour scheme are you thinking? I was thinking we stick to a green, maybe with hints of pink-" Ralph began, but was interrupted by Roger, who quickly slapped the other boy's arm and pointed forwards. A car honked beside them, and Ralph winced.
"Let's focus on driving now, and colours after. I'd like to make it to the dollar store alive, thanks." Roger hissed, and Ralph rolled his eyes, but kept them firmly on the road.
Finally, they were able to safely pull into the parking lot, and Roger let go of a breath he didn't know he was holding. His heart slowly began to settle into a somewhat normal beating, and he took a breath of fresh air as he stepped out of the car.
"Didn't think I'd ever be able to see outside again after that." Roger muttered under his breath, and Ralph glared at him.
"I heard that."
"You were meant to."
"You're such an asshole." Ralph now mumbled, looking away from Roger.
"Heard that."
Ralph stuck out his tongue at the other boy, and took on a much more mocking tone. "You were meant to."
The two boys walked in the store side by side, and immediately something caught Ralph's eye. A frog pinata hung from a hook in aisle five, a small smile drawn across the frog's face between two blushy cheeks. Ralph was practically vibrating with excitement, and did a small jump in the air before settling back down.
"Simon would love this. He always sends me frog memes on Instagram. The wholesome ones, with the nine billion heart emojis." Ralph explained, grabbing the pinata eagerly. Roger returned from grabbing a cart, sensing there would be quite a few things to carry, and Ralph tossed the frog in.
"Oh, so we're all gonna beat the frog? Wow, very wholesome. A party activity I can finally be excited for." Roger grumbled, laughing a little bit to himself. Ralph crossed his arms with a glare.
"It's gonna be a cute idea, okay? Now shut up and help me get more stuff."
Roger grabbed a bag of 50 balloons, in a lime green colour that made his eyes hurt just a little bit. Ralph nodded in approval as they were added to the cart, and tossed in a package of party horns. He remembered that at Jack's last party, there had indeed been a fight concerning who got the red party horn, and hesitated for a moment, but decided it was worth the risk.
"What are your thoughts on this confetti stuff?" Ralph asked Roger, who was busy staring down the aisle with a blank expression. Roger looked over quickly.
"We can make Piggy clean it up after, throw it in."
Ralph smiled brightly, and held his hand up for a high five that Roger did not return. He then stumbled upon a package of cupcake cups that were decorated with small lily pads and flowers, and his mouth fell open as he got an idea. He grabbed Roger's arm, which was quickly yanked away from him.
"We could make Simon's cupcakes! Here, let's grab the icing and some cake mix, it'll be so much more personal, he'll love it-"
"Do you even know how to bake?"
"No?"
"Ralph-" Roger held the bridge of his nose. "If you don't know how to- you know what, never mind. Throw it in the cart."
The necessary supplies for the added challenge that Ralph thought would be a good idea to take on was thrown unceremoniously into the cart. The cart was filling up quite quickly, Roger had grabbed a few gift bags because he guessed that the presents that the other boys would be providing were most likely going to be things they found lying around in their rooms and would desperately try to wrap moments before the party. Ralph had decided to run with the frog theme and got a set of paper plates, cups, and napkins that were covered with the hopping creatures. It was looking like a party that would be thrown for a three year old, and Ralph knew that Simon would love it. He clapped his hands, and looked over at Roger and their sea of supplies.
"I think we've done it!"
They headed over to the cash and payed for their stuff, returning their cart to it's place and getting back into the car. Roger wished they had sold some sort of bullet proof vest at the dollar store so he could have some protection for the drive back, but had to rough it out. He nervously buckled his seat belt and tightened it as far as it could go.
The supplies had been tossed into the back and Ralph began to chatter about plans that he had for everything, and where he thought it all should go, as Roger reminded him to watch the road every once in a while after far too many unsafe lane changes. The time was ticking, but they were hoping they could rely on the others to distract Simon for at least a few more hours. Knowing that they were relying on the powers of Jack, Maurice, Samneric, and Piggy, however, made Roger wish Ralph would drive a little faster.
As they clambered into the house and tossed the bags onto the floor, Ralph had went into full leader mode, and began to plan the next steps out loud. Roger listened, bored already, but began to pump up balloons as he was instructed while Ralph headed to the kitchen to bake cupcakes.
As Roger tied a tight knot on the end of a balloon, he heard a loud clamour in the other room followed by a string of curse words that would very much disappoint Ralph's father. He rushed in, worried that Ralph had somehow messed up cupcakes to the point of injury, but instead found him trying to shove the pans he didn't need into the cupboard as they continued to fall again and again.
"Go blow up balloons, you're hopeless." Roger hissed, and Ralph opened his mouth to argue before deciding against it and retreating to the balloon station. Roger grabbed a mixing bowl and began to add the ingredients, whisking them in together until it got to the consistency he was hoping for. He lined the pans with the frog cups, filling them with the mix and then slipping into the oven after it finished pre-heating.
Now that the cupcakes were mostly taken care of, Roger returned back to where Ralph had blown up quite a few balloons. Roger was surprised at his productivity, but Ralph seemed determined to do at least one job right.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Start throwing balloons everywhere, I don't fucking know."
"Getting a little bitchy there, huh?"
"Shut up and decorate."
The two boys got to work on their own tasks, and time seemed to fly by as Roger tied a few balloons to the ceiling and kicked the others around the room for entertainment. He had also taken the extra step of scattering the confetti, which was actually quite fun, despite what he had thought. When the oven beeped, Roger stood up but Ralph waved him away.
"You're on balloon duty now, I want to ice the cupcakes."
Roger decided that he would not mention that Ralph should let them cool, and sat down to blow up balloons.
Ralph grabbed the green icing in a shade he could only describe as "horridly green", and began to slap it onto the still very hot cupcake. It wasn't working in the way he hoped, and yet he kept at it, watching the icing slip and slide around as he tried to make it look neat. He had also grabbed white icing while he was at the store, and tried to shape it into circles with the butter knife that he had on hand. He carefully placed a black sprinkle in the middle of all the white circles, and soon very sloppy frog eyes stared back at him.
The cupcakes looked like a total disaster.
Ralph had never been prouder.
"We should order pizza or something!" Roger yelled from the other room, and Ralph yelled back that Roger could do it and he would set the table.
Roger wrote down a list of everyone's preferences so that he could make the phone conversation with the pizza person easier. He was ashamed at the fact that he knew every person in the house's preferred pizza, and how much they would eat. Piggy and Simon always ate the vegetarian pizza, and Roger made sure to order extra for the whole birthday thing. He and Jack would always argue meat-lovers was the best pizza of all time, to anybody who would listen. Maurice and Samneric were die-hard pepperoni fans, and Ralph had the most boring order of simply cheese pizza with nothing else added.
Ralph began to set up the bright pink tablecloth he had bought at the store, and tossed out the frog plates that smiled back at him like they were sentient. He was not a fan. He took his time to make the napkin look as neat as possible, and when he had finished he was quite proud. He had decided to give Simon the only red party horn because he knew nobody would dare try and steal it, even if Simon would gladly let them have it without any issue.
Ralph could hear Roger talking to the pizza person on the phone, and suddenly his own began to ring. He headed into another room before answering, and Jack's voice was loud in his ear.
"Simon- shut the fuck up Maurice, I'm talking, - Simon wants to head back home soon, he's been in a sad mood all day, it's been kind of annoying, really-"
"Wait, how soon? Jack! Keep him busy for a bit more, we still need to set up the pinata-"
"You got a fucking pinata? Why?"
"It was frog shaped and I panicked!"
Ralph could hear Jack audibly sigh on the other side of the phone.
"Look, just, hurry, okay? And this party better be good, Simon is driving me crazy, all his smiles are so fake. Also, uh, can you grab a random sweater from my room and toss it into a gift bag or some shit?"
"The party will be good, I hope, at least. And yeah, I will."
"Not the red one!"
"It's gonna be the red one, bye!"
"Ralph!-"
Ralph quickly hung up the phone, taking a deep breath. He thought about Simon arriving to their party, and being disappointed, and knowing that they forgot about him. Ralph shook his head. That couldn't happen. That wouldn't happen.
Roger walked into the room. "Alright. Pizza's ordered. I'm guessing that was Jack, I'll start hanging the pinata-"
"What if Simon hates it?" Ralph interrupted, looking over at Roger and biting his fingernails nervously.
"He won't, it's Simon, he never hates anything. It's sad, really."
"I guess you're right. Do you think it looks good? Did my cupcakes look alright?"
Roger looked at the room around them. Confetti was scattered messily across the floor, green specs covering every visible surface. Balloons were attached to the ceiling with scotch-tape, and littered to floor as well. The table was set nicely, if you could overlook the stupid frog plates. Ralph's cupcakes were a disaster, but Roger knew that at the very least they'd taste alright, even if they looked like Kermit the frog if he was from a horror movie.
"It looks great."
Ralph beamed, and clapped his hands together.
"Let's get this pinata up, huh?"
---
Jack drove the car with his hands so tight around the wheel that his knuckles were white. Simon was very off today, and it was driving him insane. He had managed to get away for a minute before they started heading home, and called Ralph to warn him of them coming, but he was very worried that they wouldn't be ready by then, and Simon would know that they had forgotten.
Simon had of course been dropping very, very subtle hints all day, probably in hopes that it would click in someone's mind and they would wish him a happy birthday, but they all pretended to not be aware. Jack felt like a jerk doing so, but it was really the only way if this whole surprise party thing was going to work.
The house was getting closer and closer, and he was just getting more and more stressed. Roger, he relied on. Ralph, however, he was not so sure. He was always pretty much a wild card as to whether or not things would go beautifully, or they'd shatter into such small pieces that it could never be fixed again. Jack hoped to god it would at least be middle ground for once.
They pulled into the driveway, and Jack risked a quick glace at Simon through the rear-view mirror as he parked. The other boy was looking down at the ground, and although he tried to seem neutral, Jack had known him long enough to know that he was the furthest thing from it. It may seem stupid to Jack, but he knew Simon took birthdays very seriously, and that he waited all year for all of their birthdays so he could make it the most fun possible. It would be rude of them to not do the same.
They all got out of the car, and Jack lightly pushed his way to the front, keys in hand. As he held the doorknob, he could feel his heart rate accelerate, and he pushed the door to reveal complete darkness.
That was, until, the light switch quickly flickered on, and Roger and Ralph emerged from their hiding place with a yell. The tension in the room faded instantly, and everyone turned to look at Simon, whose eyes were wide.
A smile grew on Simon's face.
Everybody took their time to say their 'happy birthdays' and do intricate handshakes. They walked further into the house and took a seat in the balloon room. Jack nodded quickly at Roger and Ralph, who he saw do a discreet high-five out of the corner of his eye. Simon seemed to be starstruck at the large amount of decor and colour, and took his time to look at everything closely, laughing at the frog plates and grinning from ear to ear.
A few of the boys snuck upstairs, and Roger gave them gift bags on their way. Maurice saluted him as he collected his gift bag and sprinted up to his room.
"This is lovely, thank you!" Simon sat in the seat next to the pinata, which was dangling in the air, looking down at them all with it's bulgy frog eyes. The gift table slowly began to grow in size, and soon the pizza arrived and was placed on the table. Every body quickly gathered to eat.
The pizza was selected just as Roger had planned, and Simon enjoyed having the red party horn, as he said it made him feel special.
When Ralph's cupcakes came out, a dead silence fell over the room, and everyone looked at Simon. Jack and Maurice tried desperately to contain their laughter, holding hands tightly over their mouths and biting their tongues. Piggy, Sam, and Eric looked at both Simon and Ralph with sympathy, while Roger simply watched, waiting.
Simon's eyes were unreadable, and he examined the cupcakes with interest.
"These are wonderful, Ralph! I can tell you really - uh - you really tried!" Simon smiled, looking nervously at Ralph, who seemed quite proud. Maurice and Jack were no longer able to control their laughter, and as Ralph slowly shrunk down, Roger shot them a quick look of disapproval and they stopped.
The gifts were next, and Simon sat in his chair, thanking every body again and again before the presents were even placed in front of him. They started with Jack's, and when Simon's eyes met the red sweater, he started to tear up.
"Jack! That's so kind, I know how much you love this sweater, it's always been your favourite, it's such an honour that you'd give it to me, I'll wear it all the time-" He rambled, and Jack glared at Ralph from across the table. Ralph just smiled and pretended not to notice.
Maurice had decided to give Simon a pair of heart shaped glasses he had, which were very clearly painful for him to part with based on the look on his face. The twins had given Simon a pad of stickers that were most likely found under their bed, and Simon couldn't have been more grateful. Piggy picked his favourite book. Ralph had searched his room for a bit and settled upon a pair of brightly coloured socks he never opened, and Roger gave him a cool rock that he found by a river at one point. Simon was greatly pleased with it all, and never stopped smiling.
At last, it was pinata time, and they all stared up at it without moving.
"We forgot to get a fucking bat." Ralph groaned.
"Of course we did." Roger looked over at the other boy, and both of them hung their heads in shame.
"We could just punch it?" Maurice piped up from the corner, and everyone turned to face him. He expected to receive criticism, but when nobody else had a better idea, they all shrugged.
"Simon, you're first up to punch the frog!"
---
The rest of the night went smoothly and wonderfully, and Simon enjoyed every second. At the end of the night, it was just him, Roger, and Ralph left, sitting quietly in the room of balloons. They all sat in the comfortable silence.
"So, should I give you a week's notice next time?" Simon asked suddenly, and both Roger and Ralph swung around to face each other.
"A week's notice for what?"
"Yeah, do we have a - uh - doctor's appointment or something?"
Simon smiled kindly, and laughed a bit to himself. "It was really good for a day's planning, maybe even better than my normal parties. You guys make a pretty okay team."
Roger and Ralph were still dumbfounded, and just looked at Simon blankly, confused. Ralph finally broke the silence.
"How the fuck did you know? Who told you?"
"Ralph. You left the receipt on the dining room table. On my plate, in fact." Simon grinned.
"Thanks Ralph!" Roger said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"Shut the fuck up." Ralph groaned.
Simon smiled. The best birthday gift, really, was just seeing his friends get along, even if it was in their weird, aggressive way.