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Sai Yamanaka had been best described as the type of man that went along with whatever passed him by. And if you asked him now, seated on the wooden veranda of the Nara clan’s compound idly watching the maple leaves fall, he would probably find that to be an agreeable assessment.
That was how he was raised, afterall. A dutiful shinobi that served his master without question no matter how grueling the task. One could easily mistake this docility as being “laid back,” as many of his friends did. It was a trait not easily unlearned, even now that he was free from that which contained him since childhood. Sai however was now far from the cold and unfeeling young man he had once been. The bonds in his life had manifested inside of him, warming his spirit and giving his life new meaning beyond that of a misguided will and a morally bankrupt mission. That warm feeling could mostly be attributed to Ino of course. It was because of Ino that he could now define what it meant to love and to be loved. Willing to share his struggles and his pain, and helping him understand the meaning of these new emotions that often overcame him. Through their union, she had blessed him with new purpose and a true identity. “Sai the shinobi” had given way for a new title:
“Sai Yamanaka: Yamanaka Clan Patriarch-16th Generation”
His name, once a token of Danzo-sama's will over him, had been enhanced to mean something greater. A name that held weight within many of Konoha’s social circles for its ancient ties with the village. The influence of the name hadn’t mattered much to Sai, as it had been a gift from his wife that symbolized the seemingly eternal bond between them. She had selected him out of many more rightfully suited for the role that came with marriage, and the least he could do to repay her was to fulfill his obligations as her husband. The task being to assist her in producing an heir to the clan. A child to pass on generations of the clan’s traditions and values, alongside the Yamanaka’s signature Shintenshin. He vowed to her the day of their betrothal that he would succeed in completing this task no matter the trial or tribulation that tried to inhibit him.
Sai was still coming to grips with the fact that this task wasn’t a simple objective to be completed like an assasination. He was not working under the guise of a shinobi, but of a soon-to-be father; Something he wasn’t sure how to truly become. He had learned rather quickly from his research that family is not just defined by blood. It was something earned through the connection and care shared with others. He had once known this by heart with his closely bonded brother, but had to relearn this sentiment after years of emotional conditioning. He had Team 7 and Ino to thank for that. And just like his marriage was earned through emotional ties and understanding, so had to be parenthood.
However, he was mortified to discover that there was no guide to being a truly successful father and that he was truly in over his head. And poor Naruto didn’t ease his mind in the slightest about it.
After all of those years exclaiming his aspirations of the Hokage’s seat, it seemed quite fitting for Naruto to be the first of their generation to take the headfirst plunge into adulthood. The first to be married and now the first to have a child. At first, Sai dubbed him the perfect subject of observation in learning about fatherhood for his own benefit. Hinata, being in the early stages of her second trimester meant that they still had at least 5 months to prepare for the baby’s arrival, which gave Naruto plenty of time to dump his excitement, advice, and insecurities on the prospect of child rearing onto Sai.
Naruto’s trademark has always been passion. Whether in his words or his actions, every aspect of him teemed with raw emotion that never failed to catch Sai off guard. And now he was an emotional hurricane, bound to sweep Sai along with it. He sometimes wondered how much his wife’s hormonal state was truly affecting his friend, and if that would be his own untimely fate when Ino became pregnant.
He couldn’t say he was anticipating that very much.
Naruto lamented often about the absence of his father, which deeply resonated with Sai. He couldn’t remember anything before his tenure in ROOT, including the identity of any bloodline or family name. His upbringing was that of a shinobi. How was a man raised to kill supposed to nurture a child? That question sent him spiraling into another deep dive of studying books on parenting and child care until the words blurred and he couldn’t quite remember the information from one page. From his findings, he understood that parents needed to do more for their child than just satisfy their basic needs. Parents are considered to be fundamental figures in a child’s life that support their physical, mental and emotional development. Sai was pretty sure that people still working on their own emotional development probably wouldn’t make good parents.
But he couldn’t think like that. He wasn’t living for himself anymore, and he made a promise to his wife that he intended to uphold. She shouldn’t have to worry about his doubts when he explicitly promised her. But eventually, that fell through when he learned that he had made a stupidly selfish decision to not reveal this until after he caused her to worry about his understanding. Some lousy husband he was, he even made her cry! That day, she had been determined to ease his mind about it all. This was not just his road to travel, she would become a mother just as he would become a father She was the one who will have to carry the baby, afterall.
Ino always knew that this was her duty to adhere to, so she was diligent in making it abundantly clear of what would entail in pursuing a relationship with her when they first became official. It wasn’t only about bringing up an heir, it was also about continuing the InoShikaCho tradition. To achieve this, the upcoming generation had to be born in synchronization, just as the trio would go on to act in unity as shinobi. A meeting had to be arranged between the clans to decide the optimal time to begin the process of conception. During the first few weeks of their marriage, Sai had been secretly comforted by the fact that they wouldn’t be immediately pressured to conceive by the elders until they all gathered, but he was quickly running out of time, as that day had finally arrived. Although it was the day that Sai had been looking forward to for nearly 2 months, it had so far been uneventful. He was currently placed between Temari and Karui, seated outside of the meeting place, patiently waiting for their inclusion in the discussion between their spouses and their clans’ elders.
“Sai!”
He was startled out of his thoughts by the commanding call of his name. Snapping his head towards the sound, he was met by Temari, who’s expression betrayed the tone of her voice. Typically rigid in her demeanor, her face had expressed something more tame that Sai couldn’t identify.
“Spacing out again? That’s a shock.” Sai could however clearly hear the lazy sarcasm in Karui’s voice. The women were seated on the veranda facing one another. Sai presumed that they desired his attention for a discussion, so he complied by shifting his body towards them.
“Sorry,” he shot off his apology with his eyes clamped shut. “There’s a lot going on right now, so I became lost in thought.”
“There’s no need for that.” Temari waved it off with her hand. “We understand completely.”
Karui turned to him then. “That’s why we wanted your opinion. You were dragged into this just like us. How do you feel about being an official babymaker?” Her tone was laced with annoyance, which was to be expected. They were in the same situation as him after all, having married into this pact to continue their spouse’s bloodline. If Sai had been honest, he had never heard his role described to him like that, but that indeed was a term that could thoroughly sum it up.
“Although that is an accurate designation, I haven’t really thought about it like that, but…” He paused in his line of reasoning to best assess his explanation. Looking around briefly, he noticed that his companions had their brows raised in interest. Sai however, recognized this as the scrutiny of women. He couldn’t help but be slightly shaken by their gazes, meant to intimidate any man. “Of course I am not trying to invalidate your personal qualms when I say that.” He backtracked in means to build a rational wall of defense. A precaution for the off chance he was to walk into the room beaten and bruised. “It’s just that I see this obligation as an opportunity to strengthen my bond with Ino.”
The tension dropped as he heard a snicker from the Suna woman. She brought up a hand to cover the right side of her face as she turned away. “Oh brother, that does seem like a Sai thing to say, doesn’t it?” Sai wasn’t sure who she had been addressing, but he kept silent just to be sure. “To be so unapologetically honest? He’s the only man I know to be like that.” A smirk had sprouted from Karui’s lips. “And I thought I married the softie.”
He wasn’t sure how to respond to the women’s jests. The books had mentioned something about the nature of being “talked about.” These interactions could be perceived positively or negatively, as Ino did this often around him. “Flaunting the merchandise” as she called it, the pride for having him as her companion. It was a flattering thought that gave him that familiar warm feeling that spread across his body. The comments of his foreign friends however, were hard for him to decipher. He still wasn’t clear on the grounds of their relationship. Since they were all spouses of the unified clans, they were often grouped together. Ino had expressed her desire for him to become closer to her family, and just like their husbands, this included Temari and Karui. He had grown accustomed to working alongside those of foriegn villages from his participation in the Allied Shinobi Forces, but this was far from being any typical diplomatic mission.
He properly became acquainted with the Suna liaison shortly after the conflict in the Land of Silence. Succumbed to genjutsu, he stabbed the woman, nearly ending her life before he was yanked from his subconscious by the woman he now called his one and only. Without Ino’s gracious act, he could’ve had the blood of another precious ally on his hands. Sai had no memory of his barbaric actions, but he couldn’t shake that awful feeling, so he tried apologizing at any given opportunity. Temari of course, never accepted them, calling his pleas “useless if you have no chance of remembering it.” She even went as far as to remind him every once and a while for the sake of provoking embarrassment from him. He received solace when Shikamaru told him that this was her way of forgiveness. “She doesn’t hate you for it, but she will never let you forget it.” This was how she grew up, surrounded by younger brothers, political obligation, and lots of sand.
His bond with Karui however, had come at a surprisingly easy transition despite their first meeting being at the expense of Naruto. Her attitude made for a rocky start into their little group, but Sai understood pretty well why that was. Similar to him, she was out of her element, locked inside of a strange new land with no ties besides her lover to which she was meant to stay. Making friends would be proven difficult under those circumstances and the furthest from her mind. It had actually been a blessing for her to see a familiar face in Sai despite their introduction, making for an unlikely but pliable friendship. They were actually able to even casually discuss their meeting in good faith again at the cost of Naruto’s dismay. “So let me get this straight. Not only did you watch me bust my knuckles on your friend, but you stood there and watched for 10 minutes while I did?!” “I was waiting for an opening, but a small facet of myself believed that he deserved your retribution as well.”
Befriending the two had not only been beneficial for deepening his bond with the Akimichi and Nara clans, but also to further understand the perspective of women. Sai felt that he could never gain enough knowledge to ever grasp the concept that was the human woman, and it seemed like it would never cease to be an enigma to him regardless of his relations with his wife. To be able to speak with Temari and Karui would only serve as a remedial course, but one that was cherished. They all had the same destination of bearing children, so it would be in their best interests to work in tandem in this as well. They continued to carefully pad around the subject of their responsibilities until an attendant informed them they could now join their spouses. A troublesome pit formed in Sai’s stomach. He recognized this as the type of dread that only came from meetings with the Yamanaka clan elders. Unlike his female counterparts, he had been called to a private audience with the elders beforehand to discuss the stipulations of his marriage, many regarding the conceived heir in question. Sai understood these formalities came from the clan’s sense of distrust in him against Ino’s continued objections. Yes, he hadn’t yielded to his dead master’s will, but his prior affiliation had to be dealt with directly. He was done dealing within the shadows. Sai ultimately agreed to their expectations of him, but the suspicion still hung in the air when in their presence that wished to strangle him.
His aforementioned feeling had suddenly been blanketed by the comfort of familiarity when they reached their destination. He was greeted by the sight of her, but it would be more accurate to say he was blessed. His wife sat cordially with Shikamaru and Choji across from the elders of their clans, in a way that he could only describe as ethereal. Like a goddess passing divine judgement. This was the manner in which she usually conducted her business for their clan; Poised and completely focused. It contrasted from her normal demeanor, but it was a welcome change in his eyes.
The feeling of a hand placed on his shoulder shook him back into reality once more, as Temari signaled for him to enter with them. His gaze fell to the floor as he stepped towards the congregation, bowing to them before silently taking his place at Ino’s right side.