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Ben phased through the walls of the apartment block Klaus was leaning against, and he wandered through the apartment until he found a clock in their kitchen. It was still way too early, but Ben was really nervous about Klaus missing his mandated therapy. He phased back out and found Klaus exactly as he was when he left, making out with some guy against the wall. Right up against a dumpster. Real classy. Ben didn’t even know who he was, nor did Klaus. It was like some weird mating ritual, they just looked at each other and the guy sauntered over - next thing you know, they’re all over each other.
“Klaus, I think we should make our way across town.” he announced, speaking loudly but not shouting. Klaus just continued kissing the dude, except he slid a hand out from behind the guy’s back and held out his GOODBYE to Ben. He hated those fucking tattoos. “Come on,” Ben sighed “you get distracted really easily...” he gestured vaguely to this display “like right now.”
Klaus pulled away from the guy just enough to have space to speak, their foreheads still pressed together. “I’m not going to therapy.” he hissed.
The guy pulled his head backwards, almost banging it on the wall. “Um... okay?” he mumbled with a furrowed brow. Klaus went back in to kiss him. He wasn’t going to fucking therapy, they can send him to jail or whatever.
“It could help you!” Ben groaned, raising his volume even higher. His brother was a mess, this could be a blessing. Therapy paid for by the state? Freaking score, as far as Ben was concerned.
Klaus pulled away again, though this time by several inches. He turned to scowl at his brother. “You’re not the one who has to sit there and be psychoanalysed by some quack with a stick up their ass!” he yelled, before turning back to kiss the guy who for whatever reason was still keen to oblige.
“You know as well as I do that you need help with the...” Ben looked down at his feet, attempting to kick around stones but instead just swishing his foot through them “...memories.” he looked back up at his brother with a sorrowful wince.
The terribly romantic scene was once again disrupted by Klaus pulling back and telling Ben to “Fuck off!” This time when he went back in, the guy pulled back. He followed where Klaus’ gaze had been and his vision landed on a trash can. He looked back to Klaus with alarm. “Are you talking to a trash can?” he murmured, so confused he was almost whispering.
“Yes,” Klaus sighed deeply “he has some very interesting stories to tell, you shouldn’t be so quick to judge.” He knew his fun was over now, as he watched the guy look from him and to the trash can several times, looking like he just saw a ghost - which was quite ironic. Klaus dejectedly pulled away from the guy fully, letting him slide away from the wall and stagger off. He looked over his shoulder a few times as he left, looking rather disturbed. Well, Klaus thought, at least he gave him a good anecdote... Klaus pulled out a joint and began to light it, scowling at Ben.
“Oh come on,” Ben groaned with a roll of his eyes “you were making out next to a dumpster, it wasn’t exactly romantic.” At least now the guy was gone he had more of a chance of getting Klaus to therapy.
“Who said I wanted romantic?” Klaus quipped with a wiggle of his eyebrows. His brother softly shook his head. He was sorely disappointed he lost the chance to do more than just make out, but he was also a bit anxious that he now still needed to find somewhere to sleep tonight. He’d pissed off everyone he knew lately, and hated goddamn shelters. Klaus supposed he could just break into Diego’s place. Maybe he should make his way across town... not for therapy, but Ben didn’t have to know that. He could really do with some retail therapy.
—
“This is what I meant about getting distracted.” Ben moaned as his brother wandered into Lush. They still had time, according to the clock in the restaurant kitchen he had just phased into a moment ago. Even if they had a while yet, Klaus took forever to do anything - so Ben thought he was right to worry. His brother was rummaging through bath bombs, sticking them in his pockets with absolutely no subtlety. “Why do you even want those?” Ben inquired, wondering if his brother had had a recent bang to the head “You barely ever get a chance to take a bath,” he looked over to the shower gels by their side “you should get them instead...” he pointed towards the shelf. It took a moment for him to realise he was encouraging stealing, causing him to groan with despair.
In public Klaus tried not to talk too much to Ben, unless he was too high to remember that. Unfortunately, he wasn’t, and the store was busy. Instead he just looked over his shoulder at his brother and pointedly glared. If he wanted to goddamn bathe, he would find a tub. “Let me live.” he hissed to Ben, though a young woman to his side slowly nodded her head and shuffled away. He’d gotten the bath bombs he wanted, but his attention was caught by the fact that they had a huge fucking display of cheese?
“Don’t eat that Klaus it’s soap!” Ben yelped, feeling like he was looking after a toddler with ADHD. His brother looked to him, and back to the soap again, similar to how the guy earlier had looked at the trash can. His brother had no impulse control, especially since he was always high, and he thrived on spite. If Ben said not to do it, he would do it. Just like the time when they were thirteen and Six told him not to drink the entire bottle of dad’s liquor, and mom ended up pumping Four’s stomach.
It smelled like soap... he was pretty certain it was soap. But Klaus was in too deep now, he had to stick to his guns, otherwise Ben would win. He wasn’t sure exactly what he’d win, but the principle still stood! Klaus had put worse things in his body, who knows how much bleach and rat poison he had floating around his bloodstream currently. Klaus made intense eye contact with his brother, and took a large bite from the soap. Ben had the audacity to grimace, as though he were the one with fucking soap in his mouth. Klaus didn’t break the eye contact with Ben until a member of staff snatched the soap from him, and escorted him from the store.
—
“Should’ve stolen from that guy whilst I had him against the wall...” Klaus murmured dejectedly. He suddenly took a sharp turn into a department store and heard Ben dramatically groan behind him. What should he steal, what should he steal...
Ben was clenching his fists so hard that his hands were beginning to shake. “We don’t have time for this, Klaus.” he whined, feeling a little pathetic. He regretfully followed Klaus as he stumbled around the displays.
Could he steal a wallet? Klaus looked down at his extremely tight pants, and jacket pockets filled with bath bombs - and decided that no, he probably couldn’t. He was going to do it anyway. He quickly scanned through the price tags, looking for the most expensive one. Aha! $110, he could get maybe fifty back from a pawnshop.
Jesus Christ, why was he so insufferable? “No!” Ben groaned, throwing his head back. “You’re going to get caught.” Ben didn’t even have to worry about Klaus getting penalised for missing court ordered therapy when he was just going to end up in jail today, anyway.
The exit wasn’t that far away... Klaus didn’t even try to shove the wallet in a pocket, he just bolted for the door. Ben didn’t have footsteps, but he could sense he was running along behind him. Klaus realised though, that that wasn’t Ben, it was someone else entirely. It was the security guard... who had now tackled him. Klaus rolled his eyes, he didn’t like to use his training but he really needed the cash. He kicked backwards, hitting the guy right in the crotch, fell into a dead weight, waited for the guy’s grip to loosen - and then slipped his way out to freedom. They were going to make it to therapy with plenty of time to spare.
—
Klaus may have taken a little too much, but he was dreading going to therapy. Ben needed to cut him some slack. Worryingly though, he seemed to keep forgetting that he wasn’t supposed to talk to Ben in public. Whatever, he was going to therapy anyway, might as well have people think he’s nuts. It was hard to stop himself from saying things he shouldn’t even when he was relatively clear headed, never mind when he was out of his mind. Once when he was really high, he told Allison that he’d stolen her ring the last time he saw her - and she got so mad she rumored him into rehab for two entire months. Who knows what he’d blabber out next.
”It’s such a nice day today, I can’t believe how hot it is, it feels like we’re in Florida... not that we’ve ever been to Florida, but I imagine that’s what it feels like there. Maybe we should go to Florida one day, you always want to go see the stupid ocean. Florida has beaches, right?” Klaus rambled, talking so quickly that Ben had to take a moment to try and work out what the hell he just said.
”We’ve been to Florida, for a mission...” Ben mumbled “and stop talking to me!” Ben looked around the crowded bus they were currently riding, taking in the array of expressions on the passengers’ faces. If Klaus thought therapy was bad, he should brace himself for the goddamn nuthouse he’ll inevitably get sent to.
”First of all, rude!” Klaus scoffed as he lifted an offended hand to his chest “Second, are you sure? I don’t think we ever went there... I think I’d remembered that. Unless I was drunk. Was I drunk? I was probably drunk wasn’t I. Or high, maybe both. Depends how old we were. How old were we? Are you sure we went to Florida? I think you’re thinking of someplace else. Silly Benny...” he let out a high pitched giggle. Ben wanted to throttle him.
A little girl sat across from them pointed over to Klaus and whined “Mommy, why is that man talking to nobody?” Her mom looked like she wanted the ground to eat her.
Klaus was staring at them, his head tilted to the side with intrigue. He liked the girl’s sunglasses. They were tiny and bright pink. He would like some of those sunglasses. They’d probably look better on him anyway, he would make them look fashionable. They just look childish on her, but she was a child though, so it wasn’t so bad. He really wanted those sunglasses... Klaus then became aware of the fact that someone was talking, and that that person was himself. From the looks on people’s faces, he assumed he said all of that aloud. It wouldn’t be the first time. He should probably stop taking uppers. The bus pulled to a stop, still half an hour from the therapy place. Before Klaus even had time to think, he’d yanked the sunglasses off the girl’s head and rushed off the bus. This time it actually was Ben following after him as he fled.