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Oh. One year ago today. Three days before our final middle school. Oh. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault.
It’s all my fault that we’re here, at a cafe near his house, seeing him laughing with someone else, the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen plastered on his face. They look so happy together. He’s finally with someone deserving of him. Someone who won’t hurt him like we did. We lost him. We lost our chance.
He’s perfect for him. White hair that contrasts his luscious silky black hair, pale blue eyes that make his deep blue look black, like a black hole, sucking your attention to him. A warm smile, making his hidden beauty come out, capable of melting anyone’s heart.
I know the others feel the same way, I know they all blame themselves. They shouldn’t, I decided this. Fuck! It’s so frustrating! He’s right, there happily talking and expressing himself. If only he could act like that to us. He was always so distant and reserved.
It’s all my fault. I should have noticed the signs. I should have noticed the flinches, the cuts. I should have pushed further, why’d I believe when he said it was just "an accident while cutting fruits". Stiffening when people yell out during matches. It’s all my fault. I made him suffer alone. Why’d I have to make that stupid nickname? Why did I do those things? It’s all my fault.
I’m so, so sorry Tobio. It’s all my fault.