Work Text:
(1) Taste
When he is seven years old, Tadashi has his first visit to the ER. He grips his favorite stuffed animal —a dog named Jax almost half his size—as he tries to ignore the throbbing pain in his ear. Jax accompanies him in the waiting room, where he stays for nearly an hour, and then to another area, where he is poked and prodded with many scary items that he doesn’t know the name of. Everything goes well, really, until the bend of his elbow is being cleaned by a wipe and a long, thin piece of metal starts to come his way. Jax falls to the ground as Tadashi promptly passes out.
He wakes up in an unfamiliar room, one with race cars lining the walls and a television tucked into a corner. Both a nurse with a kind face and his parents greet him, and they explain that he has a serious ear infection. His parents are handed a slip with something called a prescription, and that’s when Tadashi realizes his ear is still a nine on the hospital pain scale. He pouts while he begins to complain again, wishing that the pain would just go away.
After his prescription is filled at a nearby 24-hour pharmacy, Tadashi takes the first dose of his medicine. He wrinkles his nose and nearly gags at the taste, but he manages to force it down.
For the next ten days, he relentlessly complains about his medicine. He never gets used to the awful aftertaste it leaves in his mouth, which is one that lingers even after he brushes his teeth. After he completes his final dose, and his infection is fully gone, his parents surprise him with his favorite dessert: strawberry cheesecake.
On that night, his parents tuck him into bed and ensure that he knows how proud of him they are.
(2) Smell
When he’s nine, Tadashi discovers his love for books.
The first big series he reads is Harry Potter, and when he finishes, he sets down the final book with a hatred for Severus Snape and a hunger for more fantasy stories.
Morning trips to the library at his school become the favorite part of his day, and even though he gets in trouble multiple times for reading in class, the feeling of finishing a book at night and swapping it out with another the next morning is something he never wants to get rid of.
For his tenth birthday, Tadashi’s parents take him to a bookstore. They take him to the children section and tell him he can pick out any ten books of his choosing. When he finds the first one that he thinks will be interesting, he brings it close to his face, opens it to a random page, and smells. The fresh, new, scent of the books makes him feel like he’s in heaven. He smiles in glee.
After he finds his tenth and final book, he opens it to smell, but this time, a voice stops him before he has the chance.
“Are you done sniffing the books yet?” The boy sitting in the chair next to the children’s section complains. “You’re being annoying. I can’t focus on my dinosaurs.”
Tadashi’s eyes go wide, and he scratches the back of his neck with his free hand. “Agh, am I being really loud?”
The other boy looks up from his book. “Yeah. You are.”
Tadashi frowns. “I’m sorry. It’s just, I’ve never—I’ve never been in a bookstore before! This is all so new to me, and it’s all so cool, and, well, yeah!” He takes a peek at the cover of the other’s book and lets his grin return to his face when he recognizes it. “Hey! Is that the first Magic Tree House book? I love that series!”
The boy pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose as he turns to check the book cover. He shrugs. “I guess it is. I just like it because it has dinosaurs. Also,” he turns to Tadashi. “you never answered my question. Are you done yet? Smelling the books?”
Tadashi grins. “I am! I picked out the ten that my parents said I could get, so I’m done.” He gets excited for a moment. “What books do you like to read? Do you like anything that doesn’t have dinosaurs? Have you read Harry Potter? Hey, what’s your name? Mine is Yamaguchi Tadashi!
“Tsukishima Kei,” the boy states simply. He looks unamused at Tadashi’s questions, and instead of replying to the other ones fired at him, he opts to return to his book.
Tadashi, who has already shaken off the embarrassment of getting caught smelling the books by someone that looks his age, plops himself down in the chair next to Tsukishima and begins to read. He’s halfway through the first book when his parents find him, and he says goodbye to the other as they head towards the checkout line. “Bye, Tsukishima!” He waves. “See you around!”
Tsukishima rolls his eyes, then lifts his head from his book once more and slightly waves back.
(3) Sight
Tadashi is thirteen when it snows on Christmas Eve.
That night, he and his family bundle themselves in warm clothes and take a trip to their local village. They go through the gingerbread house pavilion, where a familiar name is written beside a beautifully constructed house and a first place ribbon. ‘Tsukishima Kei,’ it reads, and Tadashi beams. He turns to his best friend, who is standing next to him. “Tsukki! You got first place!”
Tsukishima smirks. “I told you I would! You’re the one who didn’t believe in me.”
“Hey!” Yamaguchi defends himself. “I never said that!”
The other slightly laughs. “I know, I’m just kidding. I’m happy I won.”
They pass by the rest of the gingerbread houses, pointing out ones they find interesting as their parents chat behind them. When they’re finished, they warm up with a hot chocolate in the local cafe. “Tsukki?” Tadashi asks when a comfortable silence falls upon them.
“Hm?” Tsukishima replies, engrossed in thought.
“Well… do you know how we told each other we wouldn’t get presents for each other?”
Tsukishima nods.
“What if I told you that I got you one anyways?” He holds his breath.
“To be honest, I’d say thank god, because I got you one as well.”
They both grin. “On the count of three?”
Tsukki nods again.
“One.”
“Two.”
“Three!”
Yamaguchi insists that Tsukishima opens his gift first, and Tsukishima complies. His eyes light up when he sees that Yamaguchi has gotten him a new pair of headphones. “These are amazing, Yams, thank you so much.”
Yamaguchi flushes, then replies that it was really nothing as he opens his gift. It’s a giftcard to his favorite bookstore, the one he had met Tsukki at over three years ago. He smiles wide, thrilled and overjoyed. “No way, Tsukki! This is awesome, I’m going to spend it all the next time I go. But hey, you have to come with me, alright?”
“I don’t know, Yams, I can’t make any promises.”
Tadashi sticks his tongue out.
“Alright, alright, I’ll go with you.”
After they drink the rest of their drinks, their parents tell them it’s time to leave. They wave goodbye to each other, and Yamaguchi smiles the whole ride home.
He goes to bed early that night. On Christmas morning, he awakens to a fresh sheet of snow layering the ground. From his room, the view of snowy mountains is incredible, and he decides that the sight of them is worth a thousand presents.
(4) Hearing
When Tadashi turns fifteen, his parents tell him the story of how they first met.
Apparently, they had gone to the same high school, but they didn’t realize until they were in their first year of university and accidentally crashed into each other while his father was wearing his old soccer jacket. According to his mother, his father was the victim of the cheating fiasco that caused her to cut off her toxic high school best friend. They started talking immediately, and they remained best friends for a year before they decided to try dating. Fortunately, their chemistry was not only platonic but romantic, and when his father proposed three years later, his mother had immediately said yes.
Tadashi smiles at the end of their story. “I can’t believe you guys knew each other all the way back in high school… I mean, the girls at school are all pretty, but my only close friend who’s a girl is a lesbian, so that’s obviously not going anywhere. Besides, I have Tsukki.”
His mother and his father exchange a glance. “Are you sure there’s nobody you have your eye on?” They push.
Tadashi frowns, trying to rack his brain for any girls that have stood out to him. “Yeah, yeah, I’m sure.” He shrugs. “You already know that Tsukki is pretty cool. He’s always been cool, though. He’s my best friend for a reason.”
“Alright, sweetie,” his mom tells him. “If you ever have any love problems, don’t forget, you can come to us, alright?”
Tadashi groans. “I know mom, thank you for reiterating that yet again.”
“Hey, we’re just trying to help, bud,” his dad interjects. “Love who you love, kiddo.”
“I know, I know,” Tadashi sighs. “I’m going upstairs now.”
The next day, he hangs out with Tsukishima and tells him about what happened the previous night with his parents.
“That’s weird,” Tsukki says.
Yamaguchi nods. “Yeah! And I mean, I’m glad they weren’t like, homophobic or anything when I told them Yaichi is a lesbian, but I was a little confused when my dad told me to love who I wanna love?”
“Yams.” Tsukishima pauses the game they’re playing and turns to face him. “Are you straight?”
He thinks for a moment. “I don’t know. Are you?”
“No,” Tsukishima says plainly. “I’m gay.”
And oh. Oh. Tadashi thinks it all makes sense now. “Oh,” he whispers. “You know what, Tsukki?”
“Hm?”
“I don’t think I am. Straight, that is. I mean, I think girls are pretty, and I think I’d date one, but it’s the same way for guys. You know?”
“I only know the guy part, Tadashi,” Tsukki deadpans.
“Ugh, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi groans. “You know what I meant. I’m going to push you off of the couch.”
Tsukishima laughs. “You won’t.”
He grins. “You’re right. I won’t. Not until I beat you in Mario Kart, that is.”
Yamaguchi never wins, and Tsukishima never gets pushed off the couch.
(5) Touch
When he’s seventeen, Yamaguchi Tadashi has his first kiss.
It happens late on a Friday night, and it happens with Tsukishima Kei.
Friday nights are their movie nights. Normally, Tadashi and Tsukki would be finishing their final film and heading to sleep, but this night is far from ordinary.
Tonight, Tsukki’s older brother gives them wine coolers and tells them that if they aren’t quiet, he’ll ensure that neither one of them will see morning. Tadashi knows he wouldn’t dare lay a finger on his brother’s best friend, whom he adores, but still, Akiteru is scary when he’s mad.
Kei, on the other hand, scoffs at his brother’s warning. “Don’t be ridiculous, Akiteru. Yams and I aren’t like that.” Tsukishima Akiteru knows that Kei is right, so he shuts the door behind him—reminding the two boys to lock it—and leaves them be.
There’s only eight wine coolers total, and since they’re relatively low in alcohol content, Tadashi doesn’t get tipsy until his third bottle. They sit on the floor with their backs against Tsukishima’s couch and fall into a comfortable silence as they let the alcohol cloud their thoughts.
When they finish their fourth and final bottles, they stand up, and Yamaguchi falls into Tsukki.
Tsukki grabs him and hugs him, making sure they won’t fall down together. “Be careful,” he murmurs. “We don’t want to make a commotion at this hour.”
Tadashi checks the time. It’s blurry, but he can tell that it’s nearly two in the morning. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
Tadashi untangles himself from Tsukki’s embrace and pulls him to the couch, they sit and he leans against Kei’s shoulder as he presses play on one of his lofi playlists on the tv. Somehow, Tadashi ends up playing with Tsukki’s hands, eventually settling with intertwining their fingers.
Five minutes pass.
“Have you ever liked someone so much that their presence makes you feel at ease?” Tsukishima questions, voice barely audible.
Tadashi looks down at their hands, then thinks about how even though he’s intoxicated, his thoughts about Tsukki are crystal clear. He thinks about how there’s no better way to spend a Friday night than like this, with his best friend, who makes him feel safe no matter the situation. “Yeah. I think I have. And I still do.”
Tsukishima turns to him, gently resting his free hand on the side of Yamaguchi’s face. “Who?”
“You,” Yamaguchi breathes, and they’re kissing.
In Kei’s locked bedroom, Tadashi’s never felt more free.
(+1)
On his twenty-first birthday, Tadashi receives an envelope in the mail.
When he opens it, a gift card to his favorite bookstore falls out. Memories come rushing back to him, and he searches for something on the gift card. Written on it are a date and a time, as well as a set of initials he’d recognize anywhere.
T.K.
In short, Yamaguchi Tadashi wonders if he’s ever been in love. When he thinks of a certain blond boy with a peculiar affinity for dinosaurs and smiles through his tears, he knows he has.