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It’d be stupid to ask aloud for forgiveness, Soundwave realizes, because how can one earn forgiveness after everything that have happened? The murders, the tortures, the rapes,... He doesn’t dare to think of the Sparklings, mixed blessing they have been revealed to be be, but they too might be considered as part of the problem.
No. For sinners like the Decepticons, forgiveness is but an illusion, easily broken when they make the effort to glance at the world around them and think about the ones they lord over with empathy.
And still, sometimes, the very word burns Soundwave’s lips as he struggles not to say it.
Saying it aloud, he has realized since long, would destroy any respect Prowl or Jazz might have had for him. Not that the Cassettes Holder deludes himself thinking they truly do, but neither of the two Autobots ever managed to fully hid the grudgingly approving glances they gave him at times, when he was sorting through general matters of the Empire.
They don’t like him as a mech. But they can acknowledge he does his work and that he does it well. This is a start. This is… good.
Soundwave knows better than to ask for forgiveness, because asking for it would be acknowledging he wronged them… and that he did nothing to help. It’s not just Prowl and Jazz. He made them his, claimed them, brought them to his berth against their will, but never was he overly cruel nor violent with them. If anything, he treated them decently. If he said he was sorry for that, and if there were only their own fate to consider, perhaps, just perhaps they’d forgive him. Jazz is adaptable and flexible, Prowl is logical; both would let go of grudge if it served and higher purpose.
But what forgiveness could he beg for, when he did nothing for all the other Autobots? Those who died, those who suffered and still suffer today? Those who screamed still scream, those whose Sparks guttered mercilessly as crowds bearing the purple sigil of the victors cheered on?
Prowl and Jazz can forgive what happened to them, perhaps.
But they’ll never forgive what happened to others, and so Soundwave keeps silent. He just watches, and he wonders if someday, perhaps, he’ll be able to fix anything between them or to, at the very least, be able to make up for some of the mistakes he did.
