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“I’m in love with you,” Deku tells him when they’re fourteen, one week after the UA entrance exam.
Katsuki hears his mother telling him he’s unloveable, hears doors being slammed shut, hears the sound of Deku’s heartbeat and thinks about how breakable it must be.
Katsuki hears his classmates whispering, “Why would Midoriya be friends with him? He’s so scary and mean.”
Katsuki sees Izuku’s smile, brighter than the sun itself, and wonders how he’s not already blind.
Midoriya Izuku loving him?
It sounds like some cosmic joke, except he’s not laughing and it makes his chest ache.
“Oh,” he says, like a dagger piercing through Deku’s heart.
I’m sorry, he thinks.
You deserve better , he thinks.
How can you love the unlovable, he thinks.
“I’m sorry,” Deku says, and it makes Katsuki want to blow the whole world up.
“The hell you sorry for?” Katsuki grunts, tearing his eyes from Deku’s. They’re too bright, even in the face of disappointment.
“You’re not… weirded out?” Deku asks, and Katsuki can hear the wheels in his brain turning—can feel the anxiety buzzing around him.
Katsuki wants to grab his hand, wants to squeeze until it hurts, until it’s the only thing he can feel.
“Of course I’m not weirded out,” he says, keeping his hands shoved inside his pockets, ignoring the scattered drum of his heart in his ears.
“I’m sorry,” Izuku says again, and it takes everything Katsuki has to not turn his head and get lost in Izuku’s sea of green.
“Stop apologizing,” Katsuki demands, no room for argument.
“I’m—“ Deku starts, and then abruptly cuts himself off. “Okay.”
Katsuki wants to scream. He wants to ask Deku why the hell he’d go and do a stupid thing like loving him, wants to know what the hell that even means.
Katsuki wasn’t made to be loved; he was made to blow things up, made to be the number one hero, made to be strong.
Stupid Deku, messing everything up.
They don’t talk for a week.
He figures he at least owes Deku some space. He pretends it doesn’t hurt when his phone screen doesn’t light up with a text, when there isn’t a knock at his door.
Briefly, Katsuki wonders if Deku loving him means they can’t be friends anymore. That makes him angry, makes him want to blow some shit up, makes the blood in his body run cold with something close to fear, if Katsuki was scared of anything—which he isn’t.
He gets into UA, because of course he does, and the first thing he wants to do is tell Deku, but his fingers hover over send and he’s about to close the message when his phone buzzes and a text from Deku pops up on his screen.
I GOT INTO UA!!!!!!!!!!! :D
There was never a doubt in Katsuki’s mind that Deku would get in. This has always been their plan—UA together, becoming heros together.
Me too, Katsuki texts back, his body relaxing for the first time since Deku said those stupid words.
Can I come over? Deku asks.
Sure, Katsuki tells him, because his mom is still at work—will be for another few hours.
Izuku’s throwing the door to Katsuki’s bedroom open minutes later, jumping onto his bed like it hasn’t been a week since they last saw each other, like there isn’t a confession hanging between them.
“We’re going to UA,” Izuku breaths, like it’s a dream too good to be true.
“Duh,” Katsuki says, moving from his desk chair to the bed, sitting at the end, opposite of Deku.
Deku beams at him. “I’m going to become the number one hero!”
Katsuki throws a pillow at his face. “Idiot. I’ll be number one.”
Deku’s smile only gets brighter, determination running deep in his gaze, and Katsuki refuses to lose, refuses to let Deku beat him.
He’ll be the number one hero. He’ll be stronger than All Might, stronger than everyone.
He’ll show the world what he’s really worth.
He’ll show Deku.
Deku is a magnet, pulling everyone in his vicinity close to him.
The first day at UA is no different.
Deku wants to talk to everyone. He wants to get to know all his classmates and memorize their names and hold fucking hands under the table or some stupid shit, whatever the hell else you do when you’re making friends at a new school.
Katsuki wouldn’t know. He doesn’t make friends. People who know how cool he is follow him around and praise him for being fucking amazing, and Katsuki rewards them by showing them cool shit with his quirk and not pushing them into the goddamn river when they’re being annoying. Which is most of the time.
Then there’s Deku.
Deku, who followed him around and let himself be pushed around, let Katsuki call him fucking Deku, and looked at him like the sun shined out his ass.
Katsuki’s not sure why Deku stays—or why he lets him stay, but he figures at this point there’s no turning back.
Having a friend is kind of nice. If Katsuki wants to do cool shit with his quirk, all he has to do is text Deku and they’ll spend the day wandering around the forest, and Katsuki doesn’t have to worry what time his mom will be home, or what kind of mood she’ll be in.
Deku will let him stay the night whenever he asks, and even though he hogs all the blankets and squishes Katsuki up against the wall, it’s somehow more comfortable than sleeping in his own bed.
So Katsuki lets Deku pull him into the seat next to him in the cafeteria, and that’s why he doesn’t just fucking leave when the gravity girl and that engine guy sit down with them, smiling and laughing with Deku like they’ve known him for years instead of hours.
Katsuki glares at his food the entire time. Who gives a shit if Deku wants to make new friends? Deku can do whatever the hell he wants. He can go hang out with floaty nerd and engine nerd and walk home with them for all Katsuki cares.
“Kacchan,” Deku says softly, and Katsuki’s eyes snap up. “Your fingers are smoking.”
Katsuki looks down at his hands and sure enough, Deku’s right. He balls his hands into fists and expects Deku to leave him alone after that, but of course he fucking doesn’t.
He hasn’t left Katsuki alone since the day they met—why the hell would he start now?
“Do you want to go to the river after school?” Deku asks, and Katsuki scowls.
“Don’t you want to hang out with your new friends?” He says, and Deku gets a weird lopsided smile that Katsuki hates.
“I want to hang out with you, Kacchan.”
Katsuki looks away, because sometimes, looking at Deku hurts. “Fine. I guess.”
Katsuki stares intently at his food, but he can still feel Deku’s smile, even if he can’t see it.
The smile is plastered to Deku’s face the entire day, and it’s not until they’re alone, sitting with their feet in the water, that Katsuki lets himself stare.
“Pleaseeeee, Kacchan,” Izuku says. lip curling in a pout, stupid doe eyes begging to be given into. “I want you to like my friends.”
“The hell does it matter if I like them or not?” Katsuki grunts, pointedly ignoring Deku’s gaze. “They’re your friends, not mine.”
“...Would it really be that bad if they were your friends, too?”
Deku’s voice is gentle, and Katsuki recognizes it as the one he uses when he cares about something but he doesn’t want Katsuki to know how much he cares.
Unfortunately for Deku, Katsuki has years of experience studying the nuances of his tones and expressions.
“Whatever,” Katsuki mumbles. “They’re not that bad, I guess.”
Katsuki sneaks a glance at Deku to see him shining like Katsuki had just ripped the sun from the sky and handed it to him. Stupid Deku.
They meet the gravity girl and that engine guy at the school—or Uraraka and Iida, as Deku makes him call them.
They go out for lunch, and Uraraka and Iida cling to Deku’s sides, and Katsuki finds himself wondering: where does that leave him?
“Can I come over?” Katsuki asks, voice gruff, eyes staring off in front of him.
They’ve made the walk home from UA so many times that Katsuki could do it with his eyes closed if he wanted to, but mostly, he just doesn’t want to look at Deku.
Deku’s stupid knowing eyes.
“Of course, Kacchan,” Deku says with a smile, and Katsuki can feel the boy’s gaze burning into him, but Katsuki doesn’t budge, eyes pressing forward. “Do you want to stay the night, too?”
Katsuki shrugs, his body sagging in relief, a slow breath exhaling quietly. “Whatever.”
Deku knows the real reason Katsuki doesn’t want to go home, but he doesn’t say anything. It’s an unspoken rule between them that they’re not allowed to talk about it, and Deku, despite being one of the most annoying people he’s ever met, has never broken that rule.
They end up on the swings later that evening. There’s a park not far from Deku’s house, and Deku’s mom always lets them go if they finish their homework before dinner.
Deku’s pumping his legs, getting the swing as high as it’ll go, and Katsuk’s watching the way his curls get caught in the wind, the way the cold turns his cheeks pink.
He’s smiling. He’s always smiling.
“Kacchan,” Deku says, and Katsuki swings his legs, lets out a small hum to let Deku know he’s listening.
“Do you believe in aliens?”
Katsuki instinctively looks up at the sky. “Why the fuck not?” he decides.
He’s never really given it much thought.
Deku grins like that’s the answer he’d been hoping for, and Katsuki’s stomach twists into a knot that stays tied the entire night.
Deku has always been willing to break himself in half for other people.
Katsuki watches him at the sports festival, watches Deku break his goddamn bones just to help that stupid half and half bastard work through his shit or whatever.
Because Deku would rather help someone he barely knows than stand at number one, and Katsuki wants to grab him and shake him and ask why the hell he keeps giving so much of himself away.
But he doesn’t. He watches, and he scowls, and later, when Deku learns his bones are broken, Katsuki just tells him to be more fucking careful.
He doesn’t tell him about the weird drop in his stomach, doesn’t tell him that sometimes...sometimes he looks at Deku and he’s afraid.
Not afraid of him…
Just.
Afraid.
When he’s sixteen, Inko Midoriya takes them camping for the weekend.
She used to take them once a year, before they got into UA. But this is the first time in over two years and Katsuki can’t believe he ever forgot how fucking awesome camping is.
They walk the beach at one in the morning, and it kind of feels like they’re suspended in time, like this weekend exists in some timeline that isn’t actually their lives.
Deku’s spinning around like a crazy person a few feet ahead of him, and Katsuki’s watching with mild interest, hands secured in the pocket of his hoodie.
And then Deku trips on his own goddamn leg and Katsuki’s rushing forward to catch him and Deku’s collapsing into his arms with a laugh and—
“You saved me, Kacchan,” Deku says, half breathless.
Later that night, when they’re tucked away in their tent, Katsuki decides to tell a scary story.
Deku’s wide eyes are on him the entire time, inching closer and closer to Katsuki with each word, until they’re pushed together, half of Deku’s face hidden by the sleeping bag.
Katsuki holds the flashlight to his face and smiles evilly.
“Sometimes,” Katsuki whispers dramatically, “you can still hear their footsteps before they suck away your soul.”
Deku shivers against Katsuki, and it’s only a shitty bedtime story, but it feels like they’re eight again and Katsuki finds that he really doesn’t want to lose that feeling.
“Don’t worry,” Katsuki says, flashing the light between their faces, illuminating both of them. “If anyone tries to take your soul, I’ll protect you.”
Deku smilles, and his eyes are fluttering shut, but he adjusts his head slightly so that it’s just barely pressed against Katsuki’s shoulder, and then he murmurs, “Thanks, Kacchan,” and falls asleep just like that.
When Katsuki wakes up, Deku’s arm is laying over his neck, nearly choking him, and his leg is intertwined with Katsuki’s, and he’s drooling.
Katsuki wakes him up with a pillow to the head, and Deku immediately squeals, rolling onto Katsuki with the pillow in hand and then proceeding to attack him with it.
Katsuki’s hands go up, protecting his face, and his chest feels so light he thinks it might just float away.
Katsuki’s staring up at the wall of the dark room when he hears his door creek open. Deku sneaks in quietly, and Katsuki snaps his eyes shut.
He feels a hand on his arms, squeezing him lightly.
“Kacchan,” Deku whispers, and Katsuki’s eyes flutter open, as if he isn’t wide awake.
“What are you doing here, Deku?” he says, taking in Deku’s oversized sweater and All Might pajama pants.
He notices that Deku is shivering.
“The heating broke,” Deku informs. “I’m freezing. Can I sleep in your bed? Your quirk is basically a heater.”
Katsuki scowls. “What about that half and half bastard? He can do the same, can’t he?”
Deku’s head tilts to the side, curious eyes widening slightly. “Kacchan, can you just let me in?”
Katsuki sighs, tearing his eyes from Deku and pressing himself to the wall, lifting the blanket for Deku, who hurries underneath it.
“Thank you,” Deku says, and he curls into Katsuki’s side, wraps his arm around his chest like it’s nothing.
Katsuki has half the mind to push him away, but like all the other times they’ve done this, he lets Deku cling to him, lets him use Katsuki as a pillow, lets him fall asleep while Katsuki stays awake listening to the sound of his heartbeat.
Every now and then, when he’s not trying, Deku is kind of funny.
And sometimes, Katsuki hears himself laugh. and he has a hard time connecting that noise to himself because it sounds so un-Katsuki that he doesn’t even know where to start, except it is his and—
It’s always Deku , who gets that sound out of him, always Deku who shines brighter than any explosion Katsuki could start with his quirk when he hears it.
Deku ends up in the infirmary, that stupid shit.
They’re heroes in training—getting hurt is nothing new, but this time is different. This time Deku doesn’t wake up right away.
Katsuki pulls a chair to the corner of the room, sits in it, and stares at Deku like if he glares hard enough the damage will undo itself.
On the third day, Deku’s head pops up, and his confused eyes scan the room until they find Katsuki, who’s answering Deku’s question before it ever leaves his lips.
“You got hurt at your internship. You’ve been unconscious the past three days.”
Deku’s eyes go wide, and Katsuki swallows around the lump in his throat.
“Aren’t you supposed to surpass All Might and become the number one hero or some shit?” Katsuki asks, a little louder than intended. “You can’t beat me if you’re dead, dipshit.”
Deku’s expression softens, his lips parted, and then he’s smiling, because of course Deku would smile a whole minute after waking up from a coma.
“I’m sorry for scaring you, Kacchan.”
Now it’s time for Katsuki’s eyes to widen, his cheeks burning brighter than Kirishima’s goddamn red hair.
“You didn’t scare me, shitty Deku. I just want to beat you.”
“Okay,” Deku says, but he’s still smiling, and it’s driving Katsuki mad.
Deku’s friends choose that convenient time to burst through the hospital room doors, and Katsuki leaves to catch a breath of much needed air.
Deku is not the sun.
He’s the entire sky.
Deku casts a glance behind him, which happens to land on Katsuki, and then he leans in closer to Uraraka, whispering something that Katsuki doesn’t catch, despite his efforts.
Uraraka’s already soft eyes get even softer, and Katsuki scowls, making his way to Deku’s side to ask, “The hell are you talking about?”
“Kacchan!” Deku squeaks, and then his entire face goes red like a cherry. “Um—uh—we were just—“
“Talking about the training camp!” Uraraka cuts in, and Katsuki knows that’s a load of shit, even when Deku nods in agreement.
Katsuki squints his eyes at Deku, heart stuttering in his chest, wondering what the hell Deku would have to lie about.
Deku laughs, and his eyes crinkle around the edges.
Katsuki lowers himself in his seat, glowering from a distance. Katsuki has never once heard half and half say anything even remotely funny. He’s pretty sure they guy only has like, two emotions, but of fucking course Deku manages to make him smile.
That’s just what Deku does.
Katsuki watches Deku’s laugh fade into a gentle smile, equal parts familiarity and admiration. Deku’s supposed to look at him like that.
...What does that even mean?
What look exactly is Deku giving half and half? And why does it make Katsuki’s skin crawl? And why does he want it?
Katsuki thinks about Deku’s bright green eyes when he said the three worst words anyone could ever say to him. He thinks about Deku’s eyes then, and looks at Deku’s eyes now, and he feels his stomach drop.
He feels frozen, suspended, like he’s stuck underwater and he’s screaming but no one can hear him.
Is this what Deku was talking about with Uraraka?
Is this why Deku didn’t tell him?
Because he didn’t want Katsuki to remember when he looked at him like that ?
Katsuki feels like his head is spinning.
He snaps his eyes away and lets small little explosions spark out of his fingers, skin burning around him.
He thinks he hears Deku say, “Kacchan?” over the beating of his heart, but he’s not really sure.
Katsuki keeps walking, and he doesn’t stop until he’s in one of the training rooms, free to use his quirk as he wants.
He gets three explosions out before the room buzzes at him, telling him someone else is entering. Katsuki whirls around to find Deku, and he has a look that Katsuki can’t place, which makes him fucking furious, because he can place all of Deku’s stupid goddamn emotions.
“Kacchan,” Deku says, soft, always fucking soft, as he takes a step closer to him.
“What the fuck do you want?” Katsuki snaps. His heart is beating out of his chest.
“Are you okay?” Deku asks.
“Why the hell wouldn’t I be?” Katsuki asks back.
Deku opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again, flails around like a fucking fish, and then says, “I don’t know.”
“Then leave me alone,” Katsuki says, and there’s no heat to it, but something about it still comes out wrong.
Deku stands frozen in place before he blinks back to reality, his lips twisting into the smile he uses when he’s about to cry but he doesn’t want anyone to know that.
Katsuki knows.
Deku makes his way to the door, but he turns around at the last minute, bites down on his lip and says, “You know, Kacchan…”
Katsuki waits.
Deku looks away. “Nevermind .”
Katsuki watches Deku’s departing back and thinks, what the fuck.
What the fucking fuck.
He feels something wet roll down his cheek, and he lets out explosion after explosion, but none of them burn as bright as the goddamn stupid fucking flame in his heart.
He’s 17, months away from being a UA graduate, and he’s in love with his best fucking friend.
It’s pretty much the worst thing to ever happen to him.
Katsuki gets kidnapped, and he can’t even save himself.
Deku’s arms fly around him, Katsuki falling slack in his hold. “I was so worried,” Deku says, and all Katsuki can feel is his mother’s voice pounding in his head, telling him he’s worthless.
Katsuki pushes Deku away. “I’m fine.”
“Kacchan…” Deku trails off, his wide eyes searching Katsuki’s.
Katsuki meets his gaze, keeps a scowl plastered to his face, and reveals nothing.
The rest of their friends surround him then, and Katsuki wants to push them away, wants to push the whole world away, wants to fucking float away or some shit.
He wants to put his brain in a blender and not think for a few days.
Izuku’s staring into his goddamn soul, and all Katsuki can hear is Deku’s words when they were fourteen, digging into his skin.
I’m in love with you.
But that was four years ago, and Deku might have been stupid enough to love him then, be he wasn’t stupid enough to love him now.
Why the hell would he?
There was nothing in Katsuki worth loving.
He slumps into the arms of his friends and burns the tears in his eyes before they ever get a chance to fall.
One week before leaving UA, Inko Midoriya tells Katsuki, “You know you’re a part of this family, too, right?”
Katsuki blinks, like he’d just been punched and was now trying to regain his balance.
“Um. Yeah,” he lies.
“You mean so much to Izuku,” she says, and Katsuki’s heart does a backflip or some other dumb dramatic shit. “To us.”
Katsuki’s not sure what it means to have a family.
After graduating from UA, they move in together.
They choose an apartment in between their hero agencies and settle into an easy routine.
Deku wakes up at 7AM, he sets one alarm, and then he gets on his merry way and starts about his day.
Katsuki wakes up at 7AM, he sets 8 alarms, and he only wakes up when Deku yells at him for the third time that he’s going to be late if he doesn’t get the hell up.
With a healthy amount of hatred for the world Katsuki pulls himself from his bed and strolls into the living room in whatever the fuck he fell asleep in the night before.
Deku greets him with a smile and a cheeky comment about what a bad morning person he is, hands him a coffee, and then he’s on his way with a goodbye and a “text me if you need anything!”
And that’s the thing.
They do text.
They text all the time.
Sometimes it’s just:
can you bring milk home? sure
do we have left overs still? no
But other times it’s stuff like:
patrols are boring as fuck, i wanna blow something up. kachhan, BEHAVE. fuck you. [middle finger emoji]
Yeah. Deku sends a lot of stupid fucking emojis. Katsuki hates every single one of them, except for maybe the explosion one which he repeatedly sends to Deku.
Deku tells him his use of the emoji is cute, and Katsuki tells him to shut the fuck up before he blows shit up for real.
It’s an empty threat, but Deku still shuts up, if muffling laughter can actually count as shutting up.
Deku gets home whenever the fuck he gets home, Katsuki gets home whenever the fuck he gets home, sometimes they eat dinner together, and sometimes they watch TV together, but they always say goodnight, even if it’s in a text that goes hours before getting read.
It’s…
Convenient.
It’s really, really fucking convenient.
The front door clicks open a few minutes after three in the morning, and Katsuki stares at his closed door, listening to the soft patter of Deku’s feet moving through their apartment.
He hears another door click shut, and then the shower starts to run, and Katsuki falls half asleep listening to the sound until suddenly his door is being pushed open and Deku’s standing there, the living room light illuminating him.
He’s wearing sweatpants and a dark green t-shirt and he looks absolutely wrecked. Katsuki swallows, heart falling into his stomach. He’s seen this look before.
“Get in here, shitty Deku,” Katsuki mumbles, and that’s all it takes for Deku to close the distance between the door and the bed, shoving himself underneath the covers like he belongs in them.
He clings to Katsuki’s side like his life depends on it.
“I couldn’t do anything,” Deku says against his chest, the words coming out broken.
Katsuki feels the tears before he hears them, and he has no idea what to say, no idea how to make it better, so he just wraps an arm around Deku and pulls him closer, holds him like his life depends on it, too.
It’s not enough, he thinks.
It’ll never be enough.
Katsuki doesn’t get sick.
The last time he was sick, he was seven, and Deku refused to leave his side.
He made Katsuki stay at his house the entire time, and for some weird ass reason Inko Midoriya was just okay with the sick neighbor kid staying over. And it's not like his mom cared, so that wasn’t an issue.
They’d set up a futon on the floor of Deku’s room, but each night, Deku had grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the bed with him, and Katsuki would wake to find that Deku had stolen the entire goddamn blanket while they were sleeping.
At eighteen, a whole eleven years later, Katsuki gets sick for the second time in his life.
It’s the middle of winter, and he gets a cold. Deku acts like it’s the end of the fucking world, even says he’s going to call into patrols tomorrow, which he’s literally never done before.
“Deku, it’s a stupid fucking cold. Stop acting like it’s the end of the world.”
“I want to take care of you,” Deku says, and it’s so honest that Katsuki kind of wants to punch him. Or punch himself for the way his chest drums in response.
“I can take care of myself.”
“But—“
“Deku, if you call out of patrols, I’ll literally fucking kill you. I’ll blow you up. I’ll blow this entire place up.”
“Kacchan...” Deku says, but he’s smiling, and Katsuki knows he’s won the argument.
Deku shifts on the bed, until he’s right next to Katsuki, pulling the covers up and slipping underneath them. “I’m staying right here then. All night.”
This feels like forbidden territory, feels like a flimsy excuse, but Katsuki’s tired and having a warm body next to him is nice.
Having Deku next to him is nice.
Sometimes Katsuki looks, and he wonders, and he thinks maybe, just maybe—but then he hears his mother’s voice, remembers the week they spent not talking, and his entire body freezes up.
Deku falls asleep halfway through the movie, head resting on Katsuki’s shoulder, mouth hanging slightly agape.
When the movie ends, Katsuki doesn’t move right away. He watches the rise and fall of Deku’s chest and tries to imagine living somewhere and not waking up to the smell of Deku’s coffee.
He’s not sure how long he sits there for, trying.
He can’t do it.
Well—okay, he’s capable of picturing it in his head, but everytime his stomach sinks and he has to ignore the urge to grab Deku and tell him he finally caught up.
Katsuki meets up with Kirishima and Kaminari, an easy smile taking over his face as they stroll towards him with wide grins and wild hair.
“Hey man,” Kirishima greets, wrapping an arm around Katsuki and pulling him into a hug.
Katsuki lets it happen, even when Kaminari joins in and it becomes one big fucking group hug.
He blames Deku for this familiarity with touching, the way he no longer gives a shit if his friends want to hug him or fistbumb him or whatever the hell else.
Kirishima is a big hugger, and he clings to Katsuki’s side the whole time they’re out, his smile lighting up every room they walk into.
Katsuki internally laughs. Of course Deku and his best friend have the sun shining out their ass.
Katsuki sure has a type, huh?
And that’s the thing, Deku hasn’t fit into the role of best friend for a long time now. Maybe he never did. All Katsuki knows is that he fits , in the grand scheme of things. In the grand scheme of everything.
Later, when they’re outside Katsuki’s apartment, Kirishima pauses at the door, hovering.
Katsuki raises an eyebrow.
“Did you want to be invited in or something?”
Kirshima’s hand finds his hair, awkwardly shuffling the locks around. “Oh—uh—no, that’s okay. I just—“
Katsuki lets his rambling go on for five seconds before he’s had enough.
“Just spit it the hell out,” Katsuki says.
“If you wait forever—I mean—If you don’t stop pretending it doesn’t matter, you’re going to look back one day and regret it.”
Katsuki feels his words get stuck in his throat, feels the annoying hum of his heart beating in his ears.
“I don’t deserve him,” he says eventually.
Kirishima tilts his head to the side, big eyes desperately trying to get his stupid fucking point across. Katsuki’s heart has upgraded to doing summersaults.
“Shouldn’t he be the one to decide that?”
“He’s an idiot…” Katsuki says, like that explains everything He thinks maybe it does, but Kirishima is still looking at him funny and Deku’s waiting for him upstairs and Kirishima’s gaze is just too heavy.
“I’ll see you later,” he tells Kirishima, and then he’s slipping into the building and jogging to his apartment door.
He steps inside, and Deku’s there, and he’s smiling, and he’s saying “Hey, Kacchan,” and Katsuki doesn’t want to imagine a world where that’s not what he comes home to.
“Ihavestufftodo,” he mutters, making a beeline for his room and hiding behind the barrier of a door.
He does the responsible thing.
He avoids Deku for two days, and then texts him, “We need to talk,” on his way back from his hero work.
Deku’s response is immediate.
!?
Okay?
When?
Are you on your way home?
Do you want me to heat something up for you?
Katsuki shivers, and it has nothing to do with the cold.
be there in 10
already ate
They end up on opposite ends of the couch, Deku’s hands crossing in his lap. He’s opened his mouth a few times to say something, but so far nothing’s come out
It’s really fucking weird.
“Kacchan,” Deku says finally, after what could have been two minutes but feels more like ten.
“Well shit, Deku,” Katsuki breaths., his quirk heating up his entire body like a fire. “This is kind of really fucking awkward.”
Deku kind of really fucking looks like he wants to punch Katsuki in the face.
“Kacchan.”
Ah. That’s the voice Deku always uses when he gets serious.
Katsuki lets out a shaky breath. If Deku was able to to this when they were fourteen, Katsuki can obviously fucking do it now.. He can do anything that shitty nerd can do no problem.
“I’m in love with you,” Katsuki tells him, and the entire world doesn’t end. Well, that’s a good start. Katsuki lets out a dry laugh. “I’m about five years too late, aren’t I? I’m sorry...for not saying anything when we were kids. I didn’t know. I—wasn’t ready.”
Deku’s looking at him like the entire universe lives in his eyes. “Are you ready now?”
Katsuki nods, and then forces himself to say, “Yeah.”
Deku lets out a breath so big Katsuki thinks he must have been holding it for years. “Kacchan, it’s always been just you for me.”
Now the world ends.
“What about—“
Deku shakes his head. “Just you.”
Katsuki doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything. Fortunately, Deku apparently knows what they’re supposed to do next.
“I love you, Kacchan,” Deku says, and it feels a lot like being shot with one of Kaminari’s electric bolts.
“That’s fucking messed up,” Bakugou mumbles, because the air in his chest feels tight, and he can’t believe this is really happening.
Deku’s hand finds his cheek, pulling his face to his, eyes digging into his soul, like he can see everything Katsuki has ever felt.
Maybe he can.
“I love you, too,” he finally says, and this time, he lets himself smile, lets himself lean into Deku’s touch. He adds “stupid nerd” for good measure.
Deku laughs, and it lights up the fucking room, like it always does. He’s living with a goddamn lightbulb. “That’s an oxymoron, Kacchan.”
Katsuki groans, but he’s still smiling, and Deku is leaning into him, and he feels safe, and loved, and it’s so fucking weird and it kind of makes him want to set the room on fire, but he also really, really likes it.
Katsuki’s eye finds Deku’s, and he thinks about that time they were kids, when Deku held out his hand to him, and stupid fucking kid Katsuki didn’t take it.
Katsuki decides he’ll never make the same mistake again.