Work Text:
DEAN
As soon as I heard what this case was gonna make us do, I was dreading it. I was actually rooting for the goddamn monster to show up so I wouldn’t have to sit through this whole show, but of course it never did. We went to this friggin’ opera for no reason! Or musical, whatever. I called it an opera a few times around Sam and he corrected me every time. Apparently there’s a difference in a “musical” and an “opera” but I honestly don’t know how anyone could tell since they both equally suck, if you ask me.
Not to mention, I couldn’t even get comfortable in my seat, which --apparently we had really good seats for this thing, Sam kept commenting on it-- but who honestly cares? I didn’t want to be there. And, like I said, I couldn’t get comfortable because I was wearing this damn special suit with these fancy shoes Sam insisted I had to wear because ‘You have to dress up for the theater.’ What a friggin' girl, I swear to God! I wasn’t there to see the show, I was there to work! But Sam was hellbent on us looking the part so…
I hate wearing rentals.
Anyway, Sam kept repeating that it was a “rock opera” and if we had to sit through it, we might as well try to enjoy it, and blah blah blah blah blah. Rock opera? My ass. I know rock and that was not rock.
The main chick was hot though. Man, she had this long, curly brown hair and they had her in some pretty awesome costumes, if you know what I mean! Thankfully. I was seriously starting to doze off for a while at the beginning. An auction? SNORE. Let’s get this show rollin’, am I right?
And then there was the masked guy, the Phantom, or whatever. And I gotta say, I don’t blame this guy for wanting to terrorize an opera house. That shit is so boring. I was actually rooting for him to stop the operas every time one of those scenes started. It was like ‘Oh god! They’re singing again! When’s the Phantom gonna save me from this torture?’ and he’d come around and ruin everything every time. Sam elbowed me and shushed me a few times because apparently laughing at those moments was “inappropriate,” or whatever. He didn’t have to say it outloud, I could read it on his face, which made it even more funny. Sammy’s bitchface. Priceless.
Even though I was glad about the Phantom interrupting those terrible operatic songs, I gotta say, what a creep! He’s kind of like the main chick’s dad but he’s also in love with her? What is that about? But people seem to really dig it. Guess people are kind of fucked up. What else is new?
On the other hand, you gotta feel bad for the guy. He teaches Christy (or whatever her name is, I was only half paying attention) all she knows about singing and does all of this stuff to get her the lead role in the play, all because he loves her, you know? Yeah, the guy was sort of out of his mind, but he had a really shitty life and he dedicated what he could of his life to this girl. And she didn’t even end up choosing him.
That sucks no matter how you slice it.
Without Christy this Phantom guy’s life had no purpose. He smashed all his mirrors and left the opera house he lived in. The thing he loved, music and shit, had no meaning without her. It just sucks, you know? That he gave his whole life to do what he thought was best for this chick and it wasn’t what she wanted, so it was a waste.
Ugh...you just gotta feel bad for the guy.
I mean, I’m not saying I enjoyed it because I didn’t. But I was there, might as well watch it, and the ending was sad. Like, if I cared enough to really feel anything afterward, I might have felt sad.
Whatever, you know what I mean.
OH, and that Raoul guy sucked. His hair was stupid.
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SAM
I’m semi-familiar with Andrew Lloyd Webber because I saw parts of Cats when I was really young. One of the motels we were staying in when we were kids got PBS on this dinky TV-set with foil on the antennas, and they were showing clips of it during a telethon. I barely remember it, but I do remember Dean making fun of me for liking it. So I know I at least enjoyed what I saw.
I’ve been interested in seeing Phantom of the Opera for years but there’s just never time with this job, and a production of it has never been near enough when there may have been time. I don’t usual travel unless there is a case at the end of the road. The planets kind of have to align. And Dean’s no help because he would never be interested in going with me, but we’re always together… and I’m not really vocal about my interest in the theater. He probably doesn’t even know about it, to be honest. So, like I said, it’s just never happened until now. And of course it had to be because of a case, but I’ll take what I can get.
I never expected to be able to actually see it on Broadway, so that was, you know, pretty cool.
Dean would not stop complaining about having to wear that suit but we had to be close to the stage and we had to look like we belong there. We do this all the time, I have no idea why dressing up bothered him this time. I honestly think it was more about the terror of having to sit through a whole musical than the actual suit. He was sulking all the way to the show, and if it hadn’t been so hilarious, I would have probably done nothing but roll my eyes the entire night.
He would sooner die than admit this, but I think by the end, he enjoyed himself.
As for the musical, I think I liked it, but it was pretty upsetting, too. I felt bad for Christine. She seemed to be in a terrible situation and there are no good choices given to her. There was just no way out, but what was even worse is that she didn’t seem to notice there was no good choice. People tend to want her to choose between the Phantom or Raoul, but if I were her, I wouldn’t want to go with either.
Raoul doesn’t take anything Christine says seriously basically ever. Like when she says she can’t go out after her performance, it doesn’t even register to him, like he didn’t even hear her. He totally ignores that she says no.
That’s a red flag, but she doesn’t see it.
And that’s not the only time he’s a jerk to her, get this: Raoul keeps asking “My god who is this man?” in the song just before “All I Ask of You,” even though a moment earlier Christine literally told him who ‘this man’ is. He just refused to believe her. Raoul kind of sucks.
And later at the masquerade he asks another question that Christine already answered, “What are you afraid of?” Uh, that Phantom guy you won’t believe is watching her every move, probably, you tool. Not to mention the pressure he puts on her to wear the ring when she’s so obviously uncomfortable with the idea. He seems to only care about his own feelings, overlooking the fact that his fiance has much bigger things to worry about.
Yeah, Raoul definitely sucks.
Then there’s the Phantom, and Christine kind of trusts him with very little to go on and he takes advantage of her faith in him. This makes it really easy for him to manipulate her. He started when she was really young and she never questioned him. She just followed his teaching. It’s unsettling and it made me really uncomfortable. I would never want Christine to end up with him, either.
The Phantom and Raoul both kind of seem like dicks, to me.
Sure, you want to feel bad for the Phantom, he hates himself, he’s an outcast, and he just wishes to be better than what he is, but every new thing he chooses to do just makes him seem like even more of a monster than before. And not because his face is deformed, it’s in the way he tries to control Christine. He’s so desperate to keep her in his life, he’s blinded himself to the fact that even if she chose to stay, it’s not really a choice at all.
Makes me cringe.
I like that Christine points that out to him in the end when she says the line that’s like “it’s in your soul where the true distortion lies.” She’s insightful enough to recognize that he’s damaged and she’s the collateral, so that’s good. I just wish she could see what a douche Raoul is, too.
Here they are during the finale, the Phantom has a noose around Raoul’s neck threatening to kill him if she doesn’t say ‘I love you,’ and what does Raoul do? He says “say you love him and my life is over” (I was so bothered by this I had to look the lyrics up immediately after the show to be sure), as if that somehow makes her choice easier?
‘Say you love me or I’ll kill your boyfriend!’ or ‘Don’t say you love him because it’ll kill me!’ These guys are the worst, and the position Raoul puts her in at the end is not really much better than the Phantom.
Secret option number 3, Christine: get the Hell out. The tragedy of this story, to me, is that she can’t see that third option’s there.