Chapter Text
He watched as she brushed her hair, and even that trivial action was so special, so magical to watch. She moved like she had no rush, like the world was adapting to her timing. The gentle way she handled things, even objects, had him wishing her hands were in him.
He was always starved for her in a way that was admittedly not healthy. He spent years and years having to look at scared and disgusted faces, having people afraid of touching him, thinking they would maybe burn. He had people giving him pats in the back and occasional hugs once he got older but...It wasn't enough.
It wasn't the same as Hinata.
It wasn't the same as the way she played with his hair when he rested his head in her lap, it wasn't the same as when she put her hands under his shirt and caressed his back or when she would kiss his eyelids and tell him he did a good job even if he did nothing the whole day.
He felt so much love it was scary, it was consuming all of him and maybe draining to much of her.
He started to feel egoistic, wanting to much of her attention and her smiles and her touch and her presence. He didn't know if he was just insecure or if he was actually burdening her.
So he pays more attention, tries to see through her like he has the byakugan. He starts to notice the bags under her eyes, the way she hugs her body when people talk too loud, the amount of hair she loses, the way she can't eat a full meal sometimes, how she hurts herself every time she tries even if she's alone, how she cries quietly at night when she thinks he's sleeping.
And then he remembers her memories, something he had buried for her privacy. And it starts haunting him.
[...]
"You won't have dinner tonight, Hinata." Hiashi looked so tall next to little Hinata. She wasn't meeting his eyes, her head low in submission. She was trying hard not to tremble, he could tell. "You did horribly at your training. You had no focus. Maybe this will help you learn to prioritize your thoughts. When you fight, make sure you're focused on winning."
"Yes, Father." Her head went lower and she stayed that way until Hiashi closed the door of her bedroom and she was alone.
She climbed to the bed, hugging her knees and putting her cheeks against the glass of her window. She was tired, her whole body ached, but she was too ashamed of herself to even allow herself to rest.
She stayed quiet, watching the sky.
[...]
"Why are your hands bleeding? Were you training?" These were the first words she heard from her father after entering the compound. Hinata hated lying, especially as a Hyuga. It was almost impossible to hide things between them and the truth eventually came out. But her mind wasn't functioning the correct way at the time. She was so shaken up.
"Yes, I-I was training." She answered, avoiding his eyes.
"Very well." His tone was softer and she felt her cheeks getting hot, her heart beating a little faster. She was somewhat proud of her for training. Even though she wasn't, really. "Go wash them and rest."
He turned his back to her.
She went to her room, her excitement dying at each step she took.
It was a lie. He was happy with a lie. Her real self would never satisfy him. He would probably die from disgust if he only knew.
As she washed her bloody knuckles, she thought of ways of avoiding those older bullies.
[...]
"Don't you think...Don't you think it would be better if it was me?" She didn't care at that point. At how pathetic she looked. Drunk, crying, looking at her father in the eyes for the first time in years.
Looking for an answer that she probably knew already.
"Neji shouldn't have jumped in to protect me. If...When the clan changes...He should've been the one here to see it." She kept babbling, crying her hurt in every word she let out. "I wish I could bring him b-back. I wish I could see my mom."
I wish I was dead. That she doesn't say.
Shame would eat her up in the morning, she knew.
Her father's eyes were dark when he got up from his chair. He had no expression on his face, but he looked at hers for a while before turning around and leaving.
She stopped crying.
[...]
Naruto was watching her sleep, watching how relaxed she looked. She slept all curled up as if she was cold, her dark locks behind her ears.
He gently caressed her cheeks, feeling how soft and cold her skin was. He got closer, his nose finding the top of her head, and he kissed her hair one, two, three times before closing his eyes.
He wished she could feel peace when she was awake. He wished she felt comfortable enough to share her pain with him like he felt comfortable to do with her. He wished she spoke her words out loud like he did, he wished she begged with her hands and lips like he did. He wished she was easier to read.
Only because he wanted to take that pain away. But she wasn't him, and he wasn't her, and he couldn't take anything away from her.
She had to do it.
He hugged her tight enough for his heart to ache.