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Hitoshi’s throat burned, initially that was what woke him up and almost immediately he shot his eyes open, only to find that he was no longer strapped to a chair with a muzzle tightly gripped around his face in a dark warehouse basement, instead he was on a soft mattress, in a warm room, though when he did identify his surrounding it was really just a cold hospital, his clothes being replaced with a gown a tube in his throat and many wires stuck to his chest and an IV he wanted out of his arm this second.
When he looked up he saw Shouta looking at him concerned, his ponytail was messy and greasy, more than normal, Hitoshi attempted to sit up, but Shouta Had already put his hands on Shinsou’s shoulder, attempting to fight back Hitoshi weakly wrapped his hands around his father's arm, trying to speak to him, but his voice just didn’t work. He haphazardly looked between Shouta and the needle in his arm hoping to get the point across while also allowing AIzawa to gently coax him back down to the bed.
Shouta has gently pushed a piece of purple hair from Hitoshi’s face, “leave it there kid, you still need it.
“Hurts.” Shinsou mumbled already dozing off again, he was in so much fucking pain he wanted to sleep again and forget bout everything that happened.
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Shouta stood above Hitoshi for a little longer once he dozed off again, the boy had been out for about a week, his body struggled with basic functions when they found him, the boy full of incoherent sentences and apologies, not being able to walk or breath right. The teenager's face was all bruised, a long scar crossing his right cheek, similar to Shouta’s. Despite all of that SHouta has never been happier to see his student, his child.
Yet he also knew how hard it would be for his son to get back to where he was,he was injured beyond belief and he was no doubt going to be very susceptible to a drug addiction, whoever had taken him had been trying to make a drug to get rid of quirks, Shouta had busted his way through the police station when they found the villains, only being take out of there by HIzashi. His eyes still hurt from the way he was using his quirk to seem more intimidating.
He and Hizashi had been swapping out so someone was always watching Eri. and despite going home many times, he hasn’t showered and hasn't slept, even despite recovery girl’s scolding. He sat back down in the plastic chair beside the bed, scotting it closer and gently holding Shinsou’s hand while he slept, he should inform the doctor that he woke up, but right now he was just so sleepy. Judging by the way the machines rang, he was almost sure they knew he woke up.
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Hitoshi had woken up briefly twice in the past four days and today was the longest he had stayed lucid, weakly sitting up in bed, even if he didn’t move, just stared at his blanket covered feet, only nodding for a response, his brain hurt, so did his throat, but he doesn’t think he would talk if he could, he felt sick, a burn itching under his skin, where he had been injected so in trying to fight that he tried to forcibly dissociate. He remembers doing that alot when taken.
He still remembers too much of what happened. He heard quiet footsteps enter the tiny room, thinking Hizashi came back from the bathroom he didn’t pay close attention, but when a hand touched his shoulder harshly he swatted at it, bolting his eyes open as if he were ready to fight when in reality, that took so much out of him, that he wasn’t panting from fear after the touch he was panting because he was exhausted.
When he did register who it was it was a two detectives, minutes after that Hizashi appeared with Recovery girl whooshing past him, standing in front of the two detectives with a look of murder, “What did I tell you about waking him up, he is still too weak to be doing this, now if I have to call security I will, or I will take you out myself.”
Jesus she was scary sometimes, the two men’s faces dropped slightly backing up a little, “With all due respect ma’am he does need to be questioned.”
Recovery girl tutted, “And with zero respect i’m telling you to leave, if your boss has a problem with it they can talk to me, now leave.” She watched as both men backed away and into the hall, Shinsou fell back into the pillow, his head falling back making his migraine ten times worse.
Questioning? He didn’t want to be questioned. “Oh dear, you probably should’ve been more careful, that concussion isn’t going to feel good after that.”
Concussion? He had a concussion? If he was lucky maybe he could get away with saying he didn’t remember, because he knew if he talked about it, he was going to cry, and he refused to cry in front of anyone, and it would hurt, a lot, and he just didn’t want to hurt anymore.
He didn’t respond to her still keeping up with his bout of silence. He wanted to go home, take a bottle of painkillers and sleep, oh goddamn he wanted to just go to sleep, but since he woke up he couldn’t seem to size off, his head hurt, his stomach hurt his body hurt in general, his skin still itched. He hasn’t seen his face, A thought that cut through the rest as he slung his legs over the bed already breathing harshly just from that.
“What do you need hon’?” Hizashi asked making his way to the other side of the bed, where Hitoshi just made eye contact then looked to the bathroom door, and luckily his father understood well, hoisting one of Shinosu’s arms around his neck and helping him stand, much to Shinsou’s dismay who quickly tried to get out of the touch, not realizing just how much of his weight was on Yamada, because when he was free, he almost fell and screamed, it hurt really bad, he felt like they snapped his bones in half as he stumbled to the bathroom with the IV pole. So much for painkillers. He leaned on the door of the bathroom for a second, struggling to breath before quickly locking the door and sitting on the toilet to catch his breath.
The more the adrenaline wore off the more pain shot up and down his spine and made his skull pound, his hands shook as he gripped the sink, pulling himself up weakly, he was so nauseated, but he caught a glimpse of himself, his finger gently touched the imprints of where the muzzle was, it was very obvious th way his skin was bruised like the shape of it, where the blood cut off, how it was pale and cracked, he hissed when he brushed a little too hard on it, his hair was tangled and dirty, he had a bruise on his neck where they had injected the drugs into his neck in the basement.
One of his hands gently sat over his mouth, fear, of himself. Fat warm tears trailed down his cheeks, burning the broken skin.
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Nothing hurt Yamada more than when Shinsou swatted him away, walking himself, in obvious pain, instead of letting him help him, he hated seeing his kids in pain. He sat back down helplessly, what did a parent do in this situation? How did he comfort his child who has just been through a traumatic experience that will probably haunt him for the rest of his life, he saw the look of fear in Hitoshi’s eyes when they found him, he was with the group who found him, having no idea that the person they were looking for was his son.
HE vividly remembers how Hitoshi, despite being delirious and injured, fought against paramedics and police. He had been utterly furious, and despite wanting to tear that villain to shreds, he stayed with his son, forced his way into the ambulance and sat outside the doors of the O.R for eight hours with his husband, that had been a very long sleepless few nights. He thinks he would be sick if he were to drink coffee again, because that was the only thing he could smell when he was sat on the floor that night, Nemuri had offered him some, since that day coffee sent him back to those long grueling hours.
He didn’t even realize Hitohsi was back in bed and his husband was in the doorway with their daughter, “She wanted to come say hello, is that alright Toshi?” Shouta asked holding Eri’s hand, the small girl peeked in the door before stepping into the hallway dragging Her dad away with her.
Shouta bent down to Eri’s level brushing some hair behind her ear, “What’s up?” He queried rasing a brow.
She bit her lip before looking down, “Toshi looks hurt and sad he has purple under his eyes, like you.” Ouch.
Shouta laughed softly before bringing her chin up, “He is hurt that correct, but I think if you went in and said hi it might help him feel better.” He could see the way her eyes widened before she quickly went to runaround Shouta, “Hey be quiet though.” She didn't seem to take much care to listen, instead she padded softly through the room standing next to the bed that was almost taller than her.
“Toshi?” She questions, not getting a response only a blink from the boy, “Toshi.” She whined poking his arm, before he swatted her away not realizing it was even her.
The girl looked offended and hurt and HIzashi could see the tears welling up in her eyes, Oh no, time to go, he quickly whisked her away and back out into the hallway, he knew she was excited to see her brother, but she probably shouldn’t have touched him, “Let’s get something to eat.” He softly spoke handing her a tissue.
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Shouta watched as the two left quietly shutting the door behind him. His son was now back into the form he was mere minutes ago still and silent staring at his feet, okay enough was enough. The man sat on the side of Hitoshi’s bed, he didn’t touch, didn't talk, just sat there.
“I want to go home.” It was quiet, hushed and pained.
Shouta sighed, “I know kid, but I highly suspect you have another week or so here.”
Hitoshi raised his voice a little, Shouta took in the way he winced, the level of noise probably hurting his head, “Why? I just want to sleep in my own bed.”
That tugged at Shouta’s heart, “I know, but they want to make sure you're alright, they’ll probably have you talk to a phycologist and do some physical therapy. If you're lucky, Recovery girl might let you go home in a few days.”
Hitoshi huffed turning away.
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Recovery girl much to everyone's surprise let him go the next night, with the precaution that he didn’t get up unless it was dire, he would have to see a psychologist as soon as he was strong enough, and he would have to start attending a physical therapy, he could barley stand longer than a minute and couldn’t seem to lift anything other than a half full cup of water.
It was Hizashi who was driving him home, they had carefully gotten him from the wheelchair and into the front seat, he let himself lean on the window not even putting on his seatbelt, it was Yamada who leaned over and put his belt on for him, pathetic but at this point he was exhausted, but happy to sleep in his own bed soon.
“Eri’s excited to see you, she’s missed her bedtime stories.” Hizashi chuckled.
Hitoshi just shrugged, he really let her down to huh? He promised he wouldn’t leave her side, but he did. They were stuck in traffic, an accident had occurred, so the would probably be sitting here for awhile, Hitoshi looked at the car next to them before shutting his eyes and sighing, he flinched a bit but relaxed seconds after a hand held his own, “I’m proud of you kiddo.”
Shinsou bit his cheek, and didn't cry. He weakly gripped the sweat that took him almost half an hour to put on. He was honestly in so much pain, it was unreal, his stomach and brain were on fire. He wasn’t on a constant. feed of painkillers and that was becoming heavily known to him.
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Hitoshi thought he would feel safe in his own home, in his bedroom, but the way he lay awake at midnight, unable to sleep, opening his eyes every five second, paranoia out of his mind, eventually he turned on his lamp, reaching over hesitantly, and struggled to pull the chain down. It actually ended up not taking long after that to fall asleep.
It was short lived because at 2:00 am Hitoshi’s body sent him running in the direction of the bathroom, and by running, he meant stumbling and crashing into walls, He didn’t even know what was happening until he was throwing up, onto the floor, he was literally only three feet away from the toilet, Visions of the time there swarmed his brain, nauseating as all hell he couldn’t move only heaving up stomach acid and clutching the door knob to the bathroom closet.
“Toshi?” It was Shouta, how embarrassing, he only whined a little in a response and let SHouta support his weight as he sat Hitoshi down on the side of the bathtub. “I’m going to be right back, if you feel like throwing up again try to get it in the toilet.
Hitoshi felt bad about it, because now his father was going to clean it up, even though he made the mess, his head spun again and every time he took an elongated blink he saw vivid flashes of what happened, he clutched the sides of the tub, taking shaky quick breaths, he was not throwing up again.
“Hitoshi, you with me kid?” Shouta was bent down in front of him, his hands on his knees.
Hitoshi weakly nodded, “Okay good then try to take deeper breaths it’ll help with the nausea.”
Shinsou weakly moved to sit on the floor, his head resting on his arms leaned on the toilet, he could barely tell that Aizawa’s hand was running up and down his back. He didn’t have the energy to fight it and ended up just dozing right there.
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Hizashi had noticed the empty space beside him at the cold hour of 2:27 am and quickly made his way down the hallway to where he saw Hitoshi’s door open and the bathroom door open and it’s light on.
He peeked inside and saw a small bit of vomit and his husband rubbing their son’s back who seemed to be passed out against his husband's chest. The scene was heartbreaking, “Sho, what happened?”
“He got sick, I was going to carry him back to his room, but he was waking up so I sat back down again, trying to let him sleep as much as possible.” He could hear the sleep in SHouta’s voice, no one has slept well.
“Okay, i’m going to clean this up and then we can figure out what to do after.” HIzashi said, going to grab the mop.
That left Shouta alone with Hitoshi, both tired, He did try to stand up with HItoshi, but he heard the whine come from his kid and sat back down to try avoiding any discomfort. He was seriously debating if he was going to have to fall asleep here, but he tried again, and when Shinsou didn’t even stirr he made his way across the hall, gently laying him in his own bed and pulling the covers over him, sifting thee hair out of his eyes and lightly touching his cheek, HItoshi seemed to lean into the touch, but Shouta pulled away, thinking he frightened him. He noticed the lamp wason and sighed, Shouta left the room, leaving the lamp on and leaving the door open.
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Hitoshi has been home for almost 3 days and he hasn’t moved, except to use the bathroom. He won’t talk to his parents, won’t talk to his sister, won’t go out into the living room ,and when they try to get him to go to both therapy’s he refused, in physical therapy he doesn’t move, they try to coax him to do something, anything, but nothing, he just stares into the distance, and in the phycologists office he stares at her desk, listening to her just refusing to talk.
He was behind on school, sure he was on a leave, but still, he was exhausted, mentally and physically. He failed his mission. Failed his sister and surly embarrassed his parents. He was laying in bed, facing the wall, something he could newly do without the stitches on his side hurting. He thought about how he hated being seen in public, how reporters rudely protruded into his business, how people looked at the bruising on his cheeks and the faint outline of where the muzzle sat.
His door quietly opened, he paid no mind and instead let whoever came in do what they need to, He could tell by the tiny hand on his face that it was Eri probably trying to see if he was awake, not wanting to talk he closed his eyes, he could feel her breath as she probably was trying to see if his eyes were opened, once she deemed he was asleep he thought she would go, but instead she curled under the covers clutching her stuffie HItoshi gave her when she first arrive, and fell asleep.
The poor girl missed her brother so much that she decided she didn’t care if he wanted her not, she crawled out of bed, avoided getting seen by their parents and climbed into his bed, she wanted bedtime stories, but Hitoshi was asleep! His presence was enough for her though so she curled up beside him and listened to him breathe.
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Shouta and HIzashi were getting ready for bed, Hizashi reading a book in bed and SHouta getting dressed after his shower, he excused himself quickly to go check on Hitoshi, he was going to tell him something, but when he peeked in the door he saw Eri asleep next to him her hand resting over her face and practically forcing HItoshi to sleep in the wall, he sighed, of course she missed him, they haven’t talked to her much about it, something they desperately need to do.
Quietly he peeled the blanket back and picked her up, grabbing her stuffed animal too. He attempted to not sli and die while trying to get Eri in her own bed, she had toys even though she was told to put away were still sprawled out on the floor and Shouta had to bite his tongue when he stepped on a lego. Placing her in bed he turned on her nightlight and gently shut the door.
And with that he went to he and Hizashi’s room shutting the door and literally jumping onto bed, hugging Hizashi’s waist and resting his head on his husband's stomach, refusing to move, he was comfy like this. Much to his dismay HIzashi pushed him off twisting to turn off the lamp and set his book aside.
“Can I help you?” He laughed looking at SHouta’s offended look in the low light of the city night.
“Yes. Cuddles, now.” He demanded a pout on his face.
HIzashi sighed, “You're such a softie, you know that?”
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Hizashi woke up around 5:00 am to a leg kicking him and the sun getting ready to rise, when he turned over he saw a particular white haired toddler looking him in the eye, big fat tears rolling down her cheeks, “What happened lovebug?” He asked pulling her into a hug, here she gripped his shirt whispering, “Why wont Toshi read to me?” She asked, smashing her face into his shoulder.
Oh.
“Oh darling, I’m sure he wants to but you have to understand that Toshi is still sick and hurting, maybe if you help make him breakfast in the morning he will tell you one.” Hizashi rubbed her back laying back down.
“No he wont!” She whined.
HIzashi shushed her quietly, “Come on baby, lets go put ona movie for a bit.” Movies always calmed her down, and seeing it was 5 he would be up soon anyway, He picked her up taking a throw blanket with them and sat her on the couch grabbing the remote and letting her choose a disney movie. When she had a nightmare and didn’t wanna talk about it they would watch a movie. Of course she wanted her brother, but at the same time, they couldn’t force Hitoshi to spend time with her, he probably was in a rough place right now.
They didn’t get through even 20 minutes of Mulan when she leaned on him asleep, all burrito wrapped in a fuzzy blanket the cat plushie tucked close to her face. He let himself watch the movie while watching the sun start to rise, soft footsteps creaking into the living room and curling up on his other side. When he turned his head he saw Sho, he shook his head and leaned his head back falling asleep.
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Hitoshi was ravenous, for the first time in weeks he was starving for food, so he through the covers over his side and threw his legs over the side of the bed letting them touch the cold floor, testing putting his weight on his feet slowly, it still hurt, but less than it has so he crept down the hallway, seeing the stove read 7:07. Peeking into the living room he saw the three asleep, and a moment hit him, they didn’t need him, they were perfectly fine right there, he was getting ready to turn back to his room when someone caught his attention, it was Aizawa.
“Come here, haven't seen you in a bit.” he suggested scooting over so he could sit in the middle of both adults and his sister.
“Uh-”
“Hitoshi please.” Hitoshi couldn’t say no to his father because if he were honest he had been seeking some comfort, so cautiously he saw next to his father leaning his head on His fathers shoulder, who in return carded a hand through his hair, “Please talk to me.” Shouta whispered not even looking at Hitoshi.
He noticed how his son didn’t talk to them, how he didn’t do much, only stared at a wall, refused to move, talk,or eat. He watched his child wither away slowly, and he wanted nothing more than to see his child feel better, and laugh again. He felt HItoshi lean in on him more, and he swore he felt a tear land on his shirt, but made no comment on it.
“I don’t know how.” It was quiet laced with fear.
Shouta looked to him, “Well for starters how are you feeling now”
“I wanna hide.” It was honest and Shouta didn’t even know if Hitoshi was thinking before speaking.
He didn’t know how to respond, “Come on let’s make something to eat and we can talk.”
Hitoshi liked the sound of that, breakfast and a talk with his dad, maybe not on the topic he was thinking it would be on, but if he were honest he did want to talk to his dad. He wanted to feel better and feel safe in his own home.
“I feel like they're watching me.” Hitoshi said quietly looking down at the table.
Shouta turned from the coffee pot looking at Hitoshi, “It might be that way for a while.”
“But I don’t want it to be that way, I want to feel normal again.” Hitoshi could feel the tears in his eyes.
“I know, and we both know the only way it’s going to get better is if you talk to someone about it, Mei, Hizashi, Me, your boyfriend, kid you have to talk to someone, better to get it out now instead of ripping it up later.” Shouta was speaking from experience on this one.
“I know I just-”
“Don’t want to remember? Yeah been there done that. It’s just going to eat you up until you break, trust me on that.”
“I’m tired.” Hitoshi admitted.
“I know you are, would it help if I told you what happened to me?”
Hitoshi’s eyes widened a little, “You don’t have to.”
Shouta shook his head and took a sip of his coffee, “I got my best friend killed.” Shouta told his son what happened all those years ago when he was also just a teenager, hoping that maybe he would confide in him, talk to him, tell him what happened, so that maybe SHouta could find a way to help but all Hitoshi did was stand up.
“I’m going to go back to bed.” With that Shinsou walked away shakily.
Shouta ran a hand over his face coming to cover his mouth, he never talked about that day only to Hizashi and his therapist, who he has kept in touch with but no longer sees, she was the one who got through to him, she probably in her late 40’s now. He didn’t notice his husband looking at him when he got up and returned to his own bedroom, he felt so helpless. How did he help his son, it made him want to pull his hair.
He buried himself under the blankets where he wanted to stay all day, one of the cats by his feet while he listened to the rain outside the apartment slam on the windows. He felt the bed dip and some play with his hair kissing his neck then rubbing his back, “I know that was hard for you to talk about babe.”
Shouta turned over, “I just want to help him.” and leaned in closer to Hizashi.
“I know baby, but it’s been three days, you have to think of where he is at, and what happened, you wouldn’t even make eye contact with me for a month. He’s going to be okay, it’s just going to take time.”
“Zashi’ I couldn’t protect him, he was gone in a blink of an eye, he is my son, how did I not realize, That’s my baby!” Despite what everyone thinks Shouta AIzawa was very mushy and loved every single one of his students and especially his kids, he would do anything for them and not being bale to broke him into millions of sharp tiny pieces.
“I know he’s your baby love, but this was also not your fault, okay look at me Sho, They would’ve found a way to get him whether you were with him or not, so you can’t blame yourself for that right now.” As the two laid there Hizashi wondered how it was that everything just fell apart so quickly.