Work Text:
Loki had been in this house for as long as she could remember. That wasn’t particularly impressive, though—she could only remember… how far back did her memory go? She wasn’t sure. There was a mirror in her room, and when she looked at herself, she saw the face of a woman just barely approaching middle age; at least fifty years old, maybe sixty. However far back her memory stretched, she knew it wasn’t that far.
And she must have been a child once, hadn’t she? So why couldn’t she remember that? Sometimes, she wondered if she had ever had parents. When she closed her eyes and thought about it hard enough, she could just start to see vague figures—a strong man with a fuzzy beard; a woman with a warm, comforting embrace; another woman with hair like the sky. But then her head began to hurt, and it just got worse and worse until she stopped thinking about it and let the would-be memories slip from her mind.
She only ever spoke to four people. Her least favorite was the doctor, who came every time Loki let it slip that she was starting to remember anything at all. He would put strange things on her head and turn on a machine that sent pain coursing through her body until all of the memories were gone.
Then there was Odin, who terrified her just as much. Odin seemed so calm and collected, but the second Loki did something wrong, Odin would scream and threaten her and sometimes even hit her.
Finally, there was her handler. Odin insisted he was there for her protection, but Loki had realized long ago that he was really just there to keep her from escaping the house.
The fourth person was her favorite. Some time ago, they had figured out that her name was Loki and his was Baldur. He was just like her—he didn’t remember anything. Odin would have them sit at their desks together for ten or twelve hours a day, taking only a few scattered breaks, working together on blueprints and measurements and plans for that stupid train that Odin was so obsessed with.
The best days, in Loki’s opinion, were the days when their handler let them eat lunch outside. Odin’s property was expansive, and her yard—even just the small portion of it they were allowed to wander—was big and lush and beautiful. They would dip their feet into the small creek, letting the big oak tree above them shade them from the sun.
“Baldur?” Loki whispered one day.
Baldur looked over. “Yeah?”
Loki glanced around to make sure their handler wasn’t in hearing distance before leaning closer to Baldur and continuing. “Do you think we’re ever going to get out of here?”
Baldur sighed and reached over to her, rubbing his hand up and down her back. “I’m sure we will. Someday. I promise, we won’t be here forever.”
“Maybe after the train is done, Odin will just let us go.” Even as she said it, though, she knew there was almost no chance of that happening.
Still, Baldur smiled over at her. “Maybe. Let’s keep looking for a way out, though.”
Every night, ten or so minutes after their handler had retired to bed, Loki’s door would quietly slide open and Baldr would slip inside. This night was no different, and she smiled from the bed as he did, moving over to give him plenty of room to lay down. “Hi, Baldur,” she whispered.
“Hey, little supernova.” He smiled at her, climbing into bed next to her and drawing her immediately into his arms. She sighed and relaxed against him. “I’m exhausted.”
“Me, too. I’m very, very ready to sleep.”
Baldur pressed a kiss against the top of her head. “Then sleep. We have a long day tomorrow, I’m sure.”
“I’m sure.” Loki yawned and closed her eyes. “Goodnight, Baldur.”
Just as Loki was drifting off to sleep, the door began to slowly swing open. Loki and Baldur both froze, tensing immediately. The door swung all the way open, followed by the sound of somebody walking into the room before closing the door. Loki heard Baldur take a deep breath before sitting up. “I can explain—” He froze, cutting himself off.
Loki frowned and sat up, looking at the figure standing before them. A jolt of panic and confusion ran through Loki’s chest as she realized that the woman standing there, staring at them with wide eyes, wasn’t anybody she knew. Loki had never seen her before. As she thought that, though, a jolt of pain rushed through her head. She winced, clutching her forehead.
“Baldur? Loki?” The woman breathed out, staring at them like she couldn’t believe they were in front of her. Baldur and Loki frowned, glancing at each other. “This is—how are you alive?”
Baldur’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean? Who are you?”
The woman let out a short, disbelieving laugh. “What do you mean? Baldur, it’s me. It’s Sigyn.” She walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching out for Loki. Loki recoiled. Hurt flashed across the woman—Sigyn’s—face. “Loki, love, it’s me. It’s your wife.”
Loki laughed, trying to push down the panic rising in her chest. “What are you talking about? I don’t have a wife.”
Some amount of horrified realization began to spread over Sigyn’s face. “Neither of you have any idea who I am, do you? What did Odin do to your minds?”
Sifgyn leaned towards Loki again. Loki drew back, pressing close to Baldur. Baldur wrapped an arm around her. “Who are you?” he repeated, more firmly this time. “We don’t know anybody named Sigyn.”
For a moment, hurt and anguish and despair flashed across the woman’s face. A second later, though, it was completely pushed away, replaced with calm, analytical seriousness. “My name is Sigyn. I know both of you. What do you remember?”
A beat passed. “Nothing,” Baldur admitted after a moment, voice quiet. “Neither of us remember anything besides being in this house.”
Sigyn took in a long, deep breath. “Okay. I knew both of you, before you came here. You—five years ago, everyone thought you died. But apparently not.”
“But Odin said we’ve always been in this house,” Loki said.
“Odin lied. Here…” Sigyn tugged on a chain around her neck, pulling it out from under her dress to reveal a silver ring hanging off of it. She leaned forward, holding that ring up next to a ring on her finger. “These are our wedding rings, Loki.”
“Wedding rings…?” Loki leaned forward, looking them over. She pointed at the ring on Sigyn’s finger. “Did I pick that out?”
“You did.”
“Hm. I have good taste.”
Sigyn laughed. “Yes. Yes, you do.” Sigyn took the chain off of her neck and removed the ring before reaching for Loki’s hand. “May I…?” After a moment, Loki nodded. Sigyn slipped the ring onto her finger.
Searing, burning pain shot through her head. Loki gasped, doubling over and clutching at her head. Sigyn immediately leaned down, wrapping her arms around her in a way that felt warm and safe and familiar. And then Sigyn began singing in her ear, quiet and soft and gentle. The music was familiar, too; but instead of hurting her head, it soothed her, comforted her. By the time the song was over, the pain had mostly subsided. Loki sat up, wiping a few tears from her eyes as she looked at Sigyn. “Was that a lullaby?”
Sigyn nodded. “A Midgardian lullaby. I used to sing it to you when you were having trouble sleeping. Oh, and there was this other one that one of your mothers used to sing…”
“One of my mothers?”
“You and Baldur had two mothers and a father.”
Loki looked over at Baldur as they both smiled. “We’re siblings?”
Sigyn nodded again, a small smile on her face, too. “You were adopted when you were a teenager, Loki. But you had known each other basically since birth; you grew up together. One of your mothers, the one who sang the lullaby, was named Iord—”
“Ah!” Loki doubled over again, clutching her head. This one only lasted for a few moments before she was able to sit up again, taking in a few deep breaths. “Sorry. Names hurt.” She took in another long, deep breath. “Can we... hear the lullaby?”
Sigyn nodded and began singing. The song was familiar—achingly, hauntingly familiar. On the second verse, Baldur joined in, voice quiet and smooth. Loki followed suit, finding that her tongue knew the words her mind had forgotten. As the song finished, she looked at Sigyn with wide eyes. “Our mother wrote that?” Baldur asked, voice quiet. Sigyn nodded. “It was beautiful.”
Sigyn just smiled, looking like she was fighting back tears. She took in another breath before speaking again. “Come on. I’m going to get you out of here.”
Loki blinked. “What?”
“I said I’m getting you out of here. Odin is a horrible, horrible person—”
“Oh, we know,” Baldur said.
Sigyn nodded. “I can get you out. I have a clear path to the door, and there’s a car waiting outside. We have a hideout that Odin doesn’t know about—we’ve been using it for years, and she hasn’t found us yet. But we’d need to go in the next few minutes.” Baldur and Loki both froze. They slowly turned and stared at each other. After a moment, Sigyn stood. “I’ll give you some space to discuss it, but you need to decide quickly.” With that, she retreated to the edge of the room.
Loki leaned against Baldur, placing her mouth close to his ear. “Baldur, I’m scared. What if it’s a trap?”
“I was worried about the same thing. But…” He sighed. “Anything’s better than here, isn’t it?”
A beat passed. Loki nodded. “Yeah. I want to get out of here. I need to get out of here. And we’ll be together, right?”
Baldur pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “We will. Always.” He looked over at Sigyn. “Okay. We’ll go with you.”
Relief flooded Sigyn’s face. “Thank you. Grab your things, as quickly as you can.”
Baldur kissed Loki’s head again before standing up. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” And with that, he slipped out of the room.
Loki sat on her bed for another moment, breathing in deeply. When she had steadied herself, she leaned over, grabbed a pillow, and pulled the pillowcase off. She took in another deep breath. Trying to calm the racing of her heart, she stood, gathered her few pieces of clothing from the dresser and wardrobe, and shoved them into the pillowcase. As she finished, the door began to open. Loki tensed, looking over at Sigyn to see that the other woman’s posture matched hers. The door swung open. “Hey,” Baldur whispered. Sigyn and Loki both relaxed. “I’m ready to go.”
“Me, too.”
Sigyn looked at them both and nodded. “Alright. Then let’s get out of here.”
Loki clutched onto Baldur’s arm as Sigyn guided them through the halls. When they got to the door that closed this wing off from the rest of the house, Loki tensed. She had never been through that door before. Or… she didn’t remember ever going through that door, at least. But when they stepped through the door and Loki looked around the new room, she realized that everything she was seeing felt familiar. She clutched at Baldur’s arm tighter.
Sigyn pulled them through the kitchen, out a back door, and through a section of garden that Loki had never seen before. Had no memory of seeing. Sigyn led them to a gate set into the high stone wall surrounding the property that was propped open with a large rock. She slowly pushed it open, then stepped aside and gestured at Baldur and Loki to walk through. They froze, looking at each other.
“Come on,” Sigyn hissed, “We need to go before anyone sees us.” Loki looked at Baldur and took in a deep breath. He looked down at her, squeezed her hand, and nodded. They walked through the door together. Sigyn gestured for them to follow her, leading them across the road and into the woods that were apparently next to Odin’s home. As they walked, paranoia and anxiety began to settle deep in Loki’s chest. She found herself glancing back every thirty or so seconds, convinced each time that she was going to see somebody pursuing them, ready to drag them back into Odin’s home. She let out a small, involuntary whimper and clutched tighter at Baldur’s arm.
Baldur pressed a kiss to the top of her head as they walked. “It’s alright, supernova,” he whispered. “We’ll be safe.”
After a few minutes of walking, they came to a black car parked on a little side road. “There’s our ride,” Sigyn said. “Get in.” Loki didn’t need to be told twice. She bolted for the car, pulling Baldur along with her. As she opened the back door, the man in the driver’s seat yelped. The passenger door opened as Sigyn slid in. “Fenrir, it’s just me. I, uh… I found some people in Odin’s house.”
Fenrir pressed a button on the roof of the car, filling the car with a dim light. Loki blinked to adjust her eyes to the light and took in a large, tough-looking man, face and arms covered in rough scars. His eyes widened as he looked at her. “Loki? Baldur?” He turned back to Sigyn. “Sigyn, what the fuck?”
Sigyn grimaced and buckled her seatbelt. “Start driving. I’ll explain as we go.” Fenrir turned back to face the windshield and took off. Sigyn took a deep breath. “I found them in Odin’s house. She did something to their memories—they don’t remember anything, they thought they’ve always lived in Odin’s home.”
“What the hell was she doing with them?”
“She was having us work on the train,” Loki said.
“Fuck,” Fenrir said. After a moment, he very quietly said, “Sigyn, how do you know it’s really them?”
A beat passed. “I… guess I don’t,” Sigyn whispered. “That hadn’t occurred to me. But who else would they be? What would be the point of getting two people who look exactly like them and placing them in her house? It’s not like she knew I was coming.”
“That’s true.” Fenrir sighed. “It just… it seems too good to be true.”
“I know. Trust me, I know.” Raising her volume enough for Loki and Baldur to hear her clearly, Sigyn said, “Loki, Baldur, this is Fenrir. Loki, he’s your cousin.”
“Oh. Um, it’s nice to meet you.”
A beat passed. Loki winced. “You, too, Loki,” Fenrir said with obviously forced cheer.
Sigyn turned around to look at Baldur and Loki. “It’s about a two hour drive from here, so get comfortable. There’s a blanket on the floor if you want it. You might want to try to sleep.”
“Okay.” Loki yawned. Baldur reached down and grabbed the blanket, pulling it over both of them as Loki leaned her head against his shoulder. He took her hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand as she closed her eyes. “I love you, Baldur,” she whispered.
Baldur squeezed her hand. “I love you, too, supernova.”
And, with the blanket warm around her and the motion of the car rocking her gently, Loki fell asleep.
Loki was woken some time later by Baldur gently shaking her by the shoulder. “Loki, we’re here.” Loki slowly blinked one eye open, letting out an absolutely incoherent stream of noises that were supposed to be words. Baldur laughed. “Do I need to carry you?”
“Nooooo,” she whined. “I can walk!”
“Alright, then walk!”
Loki grunted, forcing her eyes open and climbing out of the car. Seeing Sigyn and Fenrir staring at her, she cleared her throat and straightened her back, trying to look more dignified. Noticing a building at the edge of her vision, she turned to see what appeared to be a large, abandoned warehouse in the middle of a large field sheltered on all sides by a forest. As she looked around, an ache began to return to her head—not enough to make her double over this time, but enough to bother her. Loki looked over to Baldur to see him wincing and rubbing his head with one hand. She walked over to him, grabbing onto his arm. “Is this the base?”
“Yup!” Fenrir grinned, teeth bared. “Home sweet home. You’re the one who found it, you know.”
“Am I? Huh.” Loki tugged on Baldur’s arm, pulling him forward as Sigyn and Fenrir unlocked the door and walked into the building. As Fenrir closed the door behind them, rapid footsteps sounded up a flight of stairs to their right. Loki gasped and tensed as Baldur drew her closer and Sigyn and Fenrir drew handguns from their belts.
“Hey!” A somewhat scrawny-looking young man with thick glasses and a long scar across his face ran up. “Did you get the—” He froze. Took his glasses off, cleaned them, put them back on. Took them off again, cleaned them, put them back on.
As he took them off a third time, Loki laughed. “We’re here.”
“Holy shit .” A wide grin broke over the man’s face as he rushed towards Loki with open arms. Loki gasped, stepping back. The man paused, frowning.
Sigyn walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “They don’t remember anything yet. Odin did something to their minds.”
“Fuck.” The man took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He took in a slow, deep breath before replacing his glasses and smiling. “Well, we’ll get them back.” He walked over to Loki and Baldur, this time just extending a hand. They each shook it. “I’m Garm.”
As he said his name, a brief burst of memory flooded Loki’s brain. “Garm! Where’s Hel?”
Garm’s face fell immediately. Fenrir walked over, putting a hand on his back. “Do you remember Hel, Loki?”
Loki paused for a moment, then shook her head. “No. I think I did for a moment, but… it’s gone now.” She looked over at Baldur. “Baldur?”
Baldur shook his head. “I’ve got nothing. I’m sorry.”
Fenrir took in a deep breath. “Hel is my little sister. Your cousin, Loki. Your death radicalized her—she and Garm here joined the resistance.”
“And…” Loki closed her eyes for a moment, thinking. “Garm and Hel are… dating?”
“Yup!” Sigyn grinned, bumping her shoulder against Garm’s. “He’s been protective over her since the moment they joined. We called him Hel’s guard dog.”
Garm forced a smile before staring at the ground. “Yeah, well, apparently I didn’t guard her well enough.” Sigyn’s grin slid into a frown as Fenrir rubbed his hand up and down Garm’s back.
“What happened to her?” Baldur asked.
Sigyn sighed. “She was captured and taken to Niflheim, a cold little planet on the outskirts of the solar system. They’ve turned it into a prison colony.”
Loki’s heart sunk. “And Hel is a prisoner there?”
Sigyn and Fenrir looked at each other. “Worse,” Fenrir said. “They have her strapped into some fucked up machine, and her life force is powering the entire colony.”
“ Fuck. ” Loki leaned against Baldur. “When are we going to get her out?”
“As soon as we can,” Garm said, voice hard. “The second we get a good opportunity, we’re getting in there and saving her.”
Sigyn nodded. “We will. She won’t be there forever.”
Garm took in a deep breath before raising his head and looking up at Baldur and Loki with a small smile on his face. “Does Nanna know yet?”
Baldur gasped, clutching at his head. Loki dropped her bag to the floor and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close and stroking his hair. They stayed like that for several moments before Baldur straightened up again, wincing as he went. “Who is that? Did I know them?”
Sigyn smiled. “Nanna is your husband.” She turned to Garm. “He doesn’t know yet, we haven’t had a chance to tell him. I think it would be too risky to try to tell him over a call or text, so I’m thinking we just need to wait until he comes back next.”
“He should be back within the next week or so,” Fenrir said. He turned to Loki and Baldur. “Nanna is the son of a politician, relatively high up in Asgardian society. Nobody knows yet that he’s involved with the resistance. He comes by every few weeks or so to bring supplies and information. He’ll be thrilled to see both of you.”
Loki opened her mouth to speak, but a yawn came out instead. Sigyn looked over at her and smiled, just a little. “You two should both get some more rest. Come on, I’ll take you to an empty room.” She turned, grabbing a flashlight and an electric lantern from a table. She stuck the flashlight in her pocket before turning the lantern on and walking down the flight of stairs Garm had emerged from. Loki and Baldur nodded awkwardly at Garm and Fenrir before following Sigyn.
“Do you want two separate rooms, or do you want to share a room?”
Loki looked at Baldur, eyes wide. He smiled and squeezed her shoulder. “We’d like to share a room, please.”
“Alright, let’s go in here…” Sigyn opened a door, revealing a room that looked like it had originally been used for storage of some kind that had been converted into a plain bedroom. “It’s not much, but—”
“It’s perfect,” Loki said. “It’s far away from Odin, so it’s perfect. Thank you, Sigyn.”
Sigyn smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “You’re welcome, Loki.” She yawned and set the lantern on the side table next to the bed. “I’ll let you both sleep. I’m in the room across the hall if you need me.”
“Alright.” Loki hesitated for a moment, unsure if she should hug Sigyn or shake her hand or thank her or do something entirely different. She settled for a nod. “Thank you, Sigyn. We’ll see you in the morning?”
“See you then.”
Before Sigyn could close the door, two little balls of fur shot into the room. Loki yelped, jumping back. The balls of fur began jumping on her legs, and she looked down to see two fluffy little dogs yelping and pawing at her. She laughed, bending down to pick one of them up as Baldur picked up the other one. “Who are these?”
Sigyn smiled. “Hati and Skoll—Fenrir’s dogs. They probably recognize you both.”
“They’re adorable. ”
“Do you want them to stay in here tonight? I’m sure Fenrir wouldn’t mind.”
Loki smiled, petting the little dog in her arms. “I’d like that. Baldur?”
“That sounds lovely.”
Sigyn smiled. “Alright, I’ll let Fenrir know. Goodnight, you two.”
As Sigyn turned to leave, Loki very quietly said, “Sigyn?”
Sigyn turned around. “Yes?”
Loki wrapped her arms around herself. “Do you think we’re going to get our memories back?”
A beat passed. Sigyn smiled. “I’m sure you will. We’ll get them back, don’t worry. We can talk more about it in the morning. Sleep well.”
“You, too.”
Sigyn turned the flashlight on and left, closing the door behind her. Loki sighed, looking up at Baldur. “Bed?”
He nodded. “Bed.”
They wasted no time in crawling into bed together and pulling the blankets up around them. Baldur reached over and turned the lantern off before opening his arms for Loki to crawl into. Loki pressed herself as close to Baldur as she could and took in several long, deep breaths. “I’m scared,” she whispered.
“I know.” Baldur kissed the top of her head. “Me, too. But I swear we’ll be safe. I’ll protect you.”
Loki huffed. “I don’t need protecting.”
“Yup.” Loki could hear the grin in his voice. “I’m gonna do it anyway.”
Loki rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m gonna protect you, too.”
“Thank you.” Baldur yawned. “I love you, Loki.”
“I love you, too.”
“Get some rest.”
Loki nodded and closed her eyes. She tried to relax enough to fall asleep, but all she could think about was Sigyn’s face. When Loki had asked if Sigyn thought they would get their memories back, she had said yes. But for the few seconds before that, her face said that she wasn’t sure at all—that she was very, very worried they wouldn’t.
Loki tried to push that out of her mind. Eventually, she fell asleep. And when she did, she dreamed of a woman with bright blue hair and a kind smile, singing to her and rocking her to sleep.
The next morning was… strange. At the start of it, Baldur and Loki were both tense; clinging onto each other, jumping at every loud noise or sudden movement. Slowly, though, they began to relax. Not entirely—Loki didn’t think she was going to relax entirely for a very, very long time—but enough that Loki wasn’t driven nearly to the point of tears every time somebody spoke too loudly.
Still, she mostly stuck by Baldur that day—and every day for about a week after that. On the seventh or eighth day of them being in the hideout, Baldur and Loki entered the kitchen to hear Sigyn humming to herself as she cooked. At the sound of them coming in, she turned and grinned. “Baldur! Loki! I have exciting news.”
Baldur yawned as they sat at the table. “What is it?”
“Nanna is on his way. He should be here within the next half hour.”
Baldur inhaled sharply, looking over at Sigyn. “Really?”
“Really.”
Loki rubbed Baldur’s arm. “How are you feeling, Baldur?”
Baldur took in a long, slow, deep breath. “I’m not sure,” he said after a moment. “I… excited, I think? But very, very nervous.”
Loki kissed his cheek. “I’m sure it’ll go well.”
Sigyn set plates of pancakes down on the table before taking a seat across from Baldur and Loki. “I’m sure it will. Let me talk to him before he sees you, though. I don’t want him to be—”
“Hey, Sigyn!” The trio turned to see a man with dark skin and short, coiled dark hair entering the kitchen, carrying a bag. “I brought—” As his eyes landed on Baldr, he froze. The bag fell out of his hands, hitting the floor with a dull thud. Everyone stood frozen for a moment before Sigyn stood, walking over to the man and whispering in his ear. He nodded as she spoke, eyes still locked on Baldur. When she had finished, he took in a deep breath and walked over to the table. As he approached, Loki realized that there were tears in his eyes. “Hey,” he said, voice shaking. “I’m—I’m Nanna.”
“Hi, Nanna,” Baldur said, voice soft. As he spoke, he grunted and clutched his head. Nanna reached out and touched his face, kneeling down to Baldur’s level. A second later, apparently realizing what he had done, he started pulling his hand back. Baldur grabbed it, placing it back on his face and leaning into it. Nanna sniffed, and Loki watched as a single tear rolled down his cheek. He wiped it away before Baldur looked up, smiling a little. “You make my head hurt.”
Nanna laughed. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I think it’s a good thing.”
Sigyn walked back over to the table, setting another plate down next to her own. “Here you go, Nanna.”
“Thanks.” Nanna lingered next to Baldur for another few moments before standing and taking a seat across from him. For the next several minutes, Sigyn and Loki ate and made awkward small talk while Baldur and Nanna ignored their food to stare at each other. When Sigyn and Loki had both finished their food, Sigyn cleared her throat. “Well, Loki. You and I wanted to go on a walk together, right?”
As Loki’s brow furrowed and she opened her mouth to say that she had no memory of saying that, Sigyn raised her eyebrows a few times and gestured her head towards Baldur and Nanna. Ah. Loki nodded. “Right, uh—yep. We did.” She stood, taking her and Sigyn’s plates and depositing them in the sink. “Shall we?”
“Let’s.”
Loki walked over to Baldur and kissed his forehead. She hesitated, just for a moment. “Stay safe,” she whispered in his ear.
Baldur ripped his eyes from Nanna for the first time in several minutes to look at Loki. “You, too,” he whispered.
Loki smiled and turned away, walking out of the room with Sigyn. “So,” she said when they were safely out of earshot, “Where are we going?”
“Can I show you the forest? It’s beautiful, you used to love it.”
“I’d love that.” Loki smiled again. As she and Sigyn walked side by side, their fingers brushed together a few times. Each touch felt exhilarating, sending little lightning bolts all through Loki’s body. Finally, as they left the building and emerged into the field, Loki looked away from Sigyn and reached out to grab her hand. Her heart raced. Sigyn immediately held her hand in return, wrapping her fingers around her and squeezing a few times. Loki bit down a grin.
Sigyn led her into the forest. It felt markedly different from the forest they had run through the night they escaped Odin’s house—this forest felt warm, safe, comforting. Familiar. She leaned closer to Sigyn as they walked.
After a few minutes of walking, Loki began to pick up the sound of running water. Seeing her perk up, Sigyn grinned. “C’mon. Follow me.” And with that, Sigyn took off running. Loki followed, laughing as she went. They ran for a few minutes before collapsing, out of breath, on the bank of a small, beautiful stream.
Loki looked over at Sigyn, at the way the sunlight streaming in through the leaves above them illuminated her dark skin in gold. She felt her face begin to heat up. Sigyn turned, meeting her eyes and smiling. Loki smiled back. They laid still for a few moments before Loki slowly, slowly reached her hand out towards Sigyn’s face. Sigyn leaned closer. Loki’s hand met Sigyn’s skin, slowly stroking along her cheek. “Sigyn?” Loki said, voice quiet.
“Yes, my lo—” She cut herself off and began again. “Yes, Loki?”
“Will you tell me about… us?”
Sigyn let out a long breath. “What do you want to know?”
“Anything. Everything.”
“Hm…” Sigyn turned, rolling onto her back and staring up at the trees. “We met about… 36 years ago,” she said after a moment. “You were 23, I was 24. My parents are Midgardian diplomats, very high up in Midgardian society, and they were throwing some stupid party. Odin was on Midgard and felt obligated to make an appearance, so she dragged you, Thor—your other brother—and Baldur there. Baldur and I actually knew each other already; he was already involved in the Resistance. I was ready to discount you as just another stuck-up Asgardian, but Baldur had told me you were great. We started talking, and we discovered we both disliked Odin. So…” She looked back at Loki and grinned. “We decided to ruin her night.”
Loki gasped. “What? Wasn’t she mad?”
“Oh, furious. It was hilarious. ”
Loki’s hands began to shake as her breath sped up. “But—but when she’s mad, she hurts people. Didn’t she hurt us?”
Rapid emotions passed over Sigyn’s face—confusion, understanding, anger, sympathy. “No,” she said gently, “She didn’t do that back then. If she had done that and any of your parents found out, they would have killed her. Maybe literally.” Loki laughed, but her hands were still shaking. Sigyn slowly reached over, taking her hands and rubbing her thumbs over Loki’s skin. Slowly, the shaking began to subside.
“Tell me more?” Loki asked quietly. “About us?”
“We went back to my flat and spent the night together that night. You realized that Odin was going to be pissed at you, so you ‘accidentally’ missed the shuttle back to Asgard the next day. You could have caught one right after it, of course, but you decided to stay with me for a week instead.” Sigyn grinned. “And what a week it was! Neither of us said it, but we were falling in love. You had to leave eventually, but my parents and I were leaving on a trip to Asgard about two weeks after that, and we promised to see each other when I landed. It’s about three months between Midgard and Asgard, so we had to wait three and a half months before we could see each other again.
“I gave you my phone number before I left, and we started texting and calling the second you got on that ship. A few days into your journey, we were talking on the phone as we were both laying in bed and getting ready to sleep. I asked you if we could just… keep our phones running as we fell asleep. You said yes. It was so nice that we started doing that every night until I landed on Asgard. You met me at the ship station, and I just… ran at you the second I saw you. You caught me and pulled me into a kiss.” She laughed. “And my parents were very surprised.”
Loki laughed. “I imagine! What happened next?”
“My parents had come to Asgard to buy a house so that they would have somewhere to stay when they had business there. They bought the house with the intent to stay on Asgard a few more months to take care of business, then return home to Midgard. And then the months passed, and the day we were scheduled to leave came, I realized I didn’t want to go with them. I just wanted to stay with you. So I did! I lived in that house, but we were with each other almost every night, either at my place or yours.”
“When did we get married?”
“About a year and a half after meeting.”
“Isn’t that a little fast?” Loki said with another laugh.
Sigyn smiled over at her. “Maybe. But clearly, we made the right decision.”
“Yeah.” Loki smiled. “Yeah, it sounds like it did. Tell me more about us? And… about me?”
And Sigyn did. She told her about all 36 years of memories the two of them had shared together—Loki joining the resistance, the work Loki had done on the train while secretly working to stop it, date nights and vacations interspersed with subterfuge and activism. When she had caught up to the present day, Loki looked over at her and took in a deep breath. “Will you tell me about my parents?” she asked, voice small and quiet and scared.
Sigyn smiled. “Of course I will. Your real parents, or your birth parents?”
“Did I like my birth parents?”
“No. Not remotely. They kicked you out when you were fourteen, and you were adopted by your real parents.”
“Tell me about them. My real parents, I mean.”
“There’s Vili, your dad. He’s an Asgardian politician, but he’s actually nice. He’s Odin’s brother.” Loki closed her eyes as Sigyn spoke, trying to picture him. “There’s Frigg. She’s Odin’s ex-wife, actually. Apparently Odin was a horrible wife, so after a few years of marriage, Frigg divorced her. She’s still rolling in the alimony money—she got billions of credits.”
“Is she nice?”
“She’s incredible. Kind, but very, very protective. And then there’s your other mom, Iord. She’s actually also one of Odin’s exes, but they only dated for a year or so.” Sigyn laughed. “Family events and holidays could be so awkward. Vili had to invite Odin because she’s his sister, but that meant that Frigg and Iord had to be around their ex. It’s hilarious, honestly.”
Loki laughed. “That sounds horrible! But also, very funny.”
“It’s definitely both. What do you want to hear about next?”
“Anything you know. I want to hear everything..”
And Sigyn told Loki absolutely everything she could think of. Loki’s childhood, then her teenage years. Her time at school—how she once started a rumor that her ex-girlfriend, Freyja, had slept with her own twin brother; how she once had a fight with her roommate, Sif, and cut off all of her long, golden hair while she slept. How she had insisted that Baldur was “a weird nerd” for being interested in engineering until he dragged her to a summer engineering workshop and she fell in love with it.
When the sun was a few hours past its midday point, Sigyn exhaled and looked over at Loki. “Alright. That’s everything I can think of for now. I’m sure I’ll remember more later, though.”
Loki sat up. After Sigyn had followed suit, Loki leaned over and grasped her hands. “Thank you. For all of that, I—thank you.” She laughed. “I sound pretty cool. Way cooler than I thought.”
Sigyn smiled. “You’re the coolest. You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever known, Loki.”
“Thank you.” Loki smiled back. She stared at Sigyn, sitting there and looking like a damn painting; and for a brief moment, all she wanted to do was kiss her. Before she could act on the desire, though, her worry and anxiety took over and pushed it away. Sigyn was her wife, and Sigyn was a stranger. She would get all of her memories of Sigyn back—she had to—but for now, Sigyn was effectively someone she had known for a week. Granted, that had apparently been more than enough time for Loki the first time they met, but… she was a different Loki now, wasn’t she? Older, harder, more fearful. More traumatized. The old Loki—the woman who didn’t really exist right now—would have kissed Sigyn by now. But the new Loki was too afraid to.
“We should probably get back to the base,” Sigyn said, cutting through Loki’s thoughts. “I don’t want anyone to get worried, and there were some things I needed to talk to Nanna about.”
“Right.” Loki stood, brushing grass and dirt off of her skirt before holding her hand out to Sigyn. Sigyn smiled, taking her hand and allowing Loki to pull her up. She kept her hand in Loki’s, but loosened her grip enough that Loki could pull her hand back if she wanted to. But she didn’t want to. After a moment, Sigyn smiled again and grasped Loki’s hand more firmly.
As they walked back to the base, Loki kept staring at Sigyn. A few minutes into the walk, she quietly said, “Sigyn?”
“Mm?”
“Do you think I’m going to get my memories back?”
Sigyn paused and turned to look at Loki. This time, there was no doubt, no hesitation. “Yes.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know you. Because you’re the strongest, most resilient person I’ve ever met, and I know you’ll be able to fight through this.” Sigyn lifted Loki’s hand to her mouth and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. Loki’s heart fluttered. “And because all of us love you, and we’re not going to give up on fixing this. We’re going to help you, Loki. You’re going to be okay.”
“Thank you,” Loki whispered. And there it was again—that desire to kiss Sigyn. But again, a moment later, it was crushed by a wave of anxiety. Still, she smiled at Sigyn and squeezed her hand. “Thanks.”
“Anytime. C’mon, let’s get back before they send out a search party.”
“Okay.”
As they continued on, resolve strengthened in Loki’s chest. She was going to get her memories back. The resistance—including her—was going to take down Odin. She was going to see her parents again. For now, that was all just a dream. The only true memories she had were faint glimmers at the edge of her consciousness. But until she got her full memories back, she could think of everything Sigyn had told her. Soon, her memories would be back in full. But for now, this would be enough.