Work Text:
"I think I have a crush on your brother."
"Ew, no!"
"Yeah, no, sorry, but yes. I do."
"Do we have to talk about this?"
"Yes! We do. I want to know what you think."
"What I think? I think ‘NO,’ that’s what I think!"
"Whyyyyy?"
"Because! You can’t.. I mean, we’ve got a thing going, the three of us. You can’t disrupt that with … a crush. I mean look at Harry Potter."
"Wut?"
"There were three of them, and none of them ever screwed things up with…*wavy hands* feelings."
"Dude, you have never even read Harry Potter."
"I know but I hear you two talk about it sometimes…so… *shrugs*"
"Well, first of all, Ron and Hermione DO end up getting together, so you’re wrong about that trio. And furthermore there is NO WAY Sam is the Ron in this trio. And honestly, you’re not a Harry… *shaking head* unless you meant that I am the Ron because of my red hair and Sam is the Hermione… but still no, I’m much more of a Ginny Weasley —and NOT just because of the red hair— and she ends up with Harry, which YOU are not. Though… Ginny and Hermione were best friends, so…. Damnit, Dean! Now I’m even more confused.”
"Well okay… look at the Lord of the Rings."
“Wut?”
"There is a big group, they have a job to do, and not one of them hooks up with the other."
Liv raises her eyebrow.
"They don’t!”
"As to not ‘disrupt the thing’?"
"Yeah."
"They were all dudes. And I mean… some of their relationships were still kind of questionably platonic, so… DEAN! We are continuing to talk about my very real crush in a very literary way when what I really want to do is talk about it in an actual real way."
"That is the LAST thing I want to do."
"Dean, I want to bed your brother. Can you be okay with this?"
"No! STOP!"
Liv laughs maniacally.