Work Text:
you are twelve when you meet him
you are twelve and already you wish you were dead
covered in bruises you look him in the face and you are scared
he looks at your cuts and grabs you
not roughly, like you thought
grabs you by the arm and drags you into the house to cover up the pains
you are fourteen when you realize how frightening he really is
fourteen and afraid of everything but him
you’ve spent two years by his side and you never thought that he was anything but good
but green gray eyes ask you how you put up with him
and you think about it and tell them
that it was never about putting up with
you are sixteen when you realize you love him
sixteen and wishing for the world to end
you were told he could never love anyone
and you believed them because there was nothing else to believe
you are sixteen when you finally realize he loves you
sixteen, and dying when you aren’t ready
he tells you that they’re proud of you, that he’s proud of you
and at long last you know what it’s like to be loved
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you are thirteen when you meet him
thirteen and already you hate the world
he looks at you with frightened eyes and you feel pity
and you grab him by the arm and clean him up
and hope to god that he isn’t afraid of you
you are fifteen when you realize that you love him
fifteen and hating everything but him
they tell you he worships you
and you tell yourself that he could never love you
and that worship is enough
but it’s not
you are seventeen when you realize he loves you back
seventeen and still only just learning to love when you lose it
you tell him that all of you are proud of him
and you mean that you’re proud of him
and for a moment he glows like a thousand stars
and then he is gone
you are seventeen when your world goes dark again
your sun has gone out and there is no moon or stars
and you know that you can’t let him go alone
so you don’t