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Hen was having a panic attack. He knew it in the way his chest got tight and how his breathing sped up. He knew it from the crushing emotions hitting him, pushing him down. He knew it and yet he did not cry. He could not cry. He kept his back straight, frozen still with his chin in the air. His father stood in front of him, watching as Hen clenched his hands into fists to desperately stop the shaking. There was too much and his father was just judging him and he couldn’t take the pressure. His father reached out and gently cupped his terrified son's cheek.
“Breath…” Bar’ry soothed softly, giving him a warm smile. Hen felt Bar’ry turn his magic on him and he whimpered softly, wanting to pull away. He couldn’t move, couldn’t flee. “You’ll be calmer this way. See? That’s not so bad.” His father told him gently as Hen could finally move again. Hen collapsed to his knees, the shaking leaving his body suddenly. Why had he been upset before? Why would he ever be upset in his wonderful commune? Why would he ever try to leave his father?
___
Hen always felt worse after his father's magic wore off. It was like his feelings that had made him so upset were suddenly sucked out of him with a straw. He felt hollow and angry and he couldn’t handle the crushing knowing. Knowing that he couldn’t get upset again or the same thing would continue to happen.
Hen had to get out of the tent. He stood, grabbing the woven grass bag that he’d been given many years ago before walking into the commune, bowing a hello at people he passed. He exhaled as he headed into the woods. He had one favorite place where he’d go to get away from everything. It was a stone shelf, a river having hollowed out a cave under the lip. Inside, Hen had a small little cave that he would hide in. It had nice rounded edges and he could just curl up in the nice cold darkness for a little while. Sometimes, he’d take souvenir rocks with him to hold at night. He had quite the collection going for him that he kept stashed in a little wooden box that his father had given him.
Hen crawled into the tiny alcove under the edge, the darkness welcoming him back. He smiled as his eyes adjusted, the crystal structures growing at random intervals providing a little light. It basked the dark brown and black rocks in gentle blue light. Hen crawled through the space, heading towards his favorite part. He crawled through the dim light, the sound of dripping water echoing through the space. His path was well worn, the dirt having clear marks from where he’d been making the trip back and forth. He crawled through the dark before finally arriving at his favorite spot. A small little room greeted him. It had a small pool in the center that large purple crystals sprouted from the bottom of the pool. Around the water were tall walls, stalactites dangling from the ceiling down towards the water. On the walls were little rock shelves that Hen put his larger rock finds that he couldn’t smuggle back to his little space in the tent. He could stand up and so he very carefully went to each shelf, lovingly tapping each rock. He spoke their names softly, liking the way common sounded on his tongue. The Library had given him books on rocks and how to identify them and Hen had spent three days memorizing every page from cover to cover. He’d returned them before his dad had found them and he’d gotten a thrill from knowing something that no one in the commune had taught him. He was different in something and that felt amazing.
“Granite, Diorite, Lapis Lazuli, Hemimorphite…” His voice echoed through the open space, the names of his favorite objects that he owned. Once he went through all of his collection he sat at the edge of the pool. He watched the water ripple, droplets falling from the ceiling. He sat criss-cross as he exhaled softly.
“Hey mom,” He started, “I’m back. I didn’t bring you anything new today I just... had to get away from father for a bit. That’s been happening a lot lately. But anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I’m doing okay. I hope you’re doing okay, wherever you are.” Hen paused for a moment, hearing his words echo back to him. What happened after you died was common knowledge amongst his people but no one knew what happened to his mother. Hen hoped she wasn’t suffering wherever she was. He half hoped that she would come back to him one day though he found that unlikely with how long ago it was since she disappeared. Without any reply he stood from his spot, feeling much more relaxed now. As he turned to leave he paused, looking back at the water. He paused before walking back over and kneeling, sticking his face into the pool of water. And he drank.
As he did, his vision went green, his eyes rolling back. He saw a different world, with kids who didn’t all look like him. They wore different clothes and things on their feet. They played what looked like games though they were violent, tackling though everyone came up laughing. He heard music though it was unlike anything he’d heard before and everything was so bright.
Just as quickly as it started, that moment was gone.
Hen gasped as he pulled away from the pool, his eyes wide. What had he seen? What was that? He breathed heavily, shaking his head to clear it. He let himself lay on the cold rock behind him, grounding himself.
Hen left the cave after that, the sun already having started setting. He had to hustle or he’d missed the nightly singalong. And then his father would be mad and that just wouldn’t be good for his situation. Hen hustled through the woods, his feet as they always seemed too, never tripping. He came back to the commune, the fire in the center already started. He quickly tossed his bag and took his place next to his father.
“Hen. Where have you been, my son?” His father asked him as Hen looked up at him.
“Practicing my magic.” Hen replied, a lie and he immediately could tell his father knew. Hen knew Barry wanted to reprimand him for lying but he was quickly interrupted when one of the Ry’Oaks piped up that they should start their songs. And so Barry stepped into the circle, put on his smile and began their singing.
____
Hen went back to his place after that, his father not scolding him if he was asleep. He wasn’t that cruel to wake him up just to yell at him. Unless he was really really mad but Hen had never seen him do such a thing to him.
He curled up on his little cot, clutching his box to his chest softly. He quickly fell asleep, relaxing his body fairly quickly.
His dreams faded off, quickly traveling to that other world. He saw people wearing bright colored clothing, talking and laughing with each other. They all looked different. They weren’t all the same like the people of his commune. Over the night, he watched these strange people go about their lives and just...live.
In the morning, he wished he didn’t have to wake up. But he sat up fairly quickly, tucking his box away under his pillow. He ran outside, climbing the tall tree where he could watch the sunrise. He smiled as the sun came over the horizon, casting the world in its glow. Up here, no one could mess with him. Hor’ Ce wouldn’t bother him and his dad wouldn’t be on his case. Up here he was safe and calm as he watched the sleeping world.
Eventually Hen climbed down and began his chores. He tended the gardens and helped a new family put up their tent, being nice and kind and Good like he was supposed too. Once that was all done he was allowed to go and so he did. Hen walked into the woods, a bird trailing him.
“Sir Hen! Sir Hen! How are you today?” He asked excitedly as Hen turned and smiled.
“I’m doing great, Roy Rogers, how are you?” He asked him, offering a finger for him to perch on. Despite him not really wanting to talk right now, he would humor the bird. Eventually Roy would get tired and flutter off.
Birds were flighty like that.
And just as expected, after a bit of boring small talk he flew off back towards Oakvale and Hen headed into the woods. He loved the cool dirt under his toes and just the feeling of the trees around him. Once he got far enough away, the trees started to become different and that’s when he truly enjoyed these walks. He liked seeing the peaceful chaos among the trees. As he walked towards the stream, he started checking the ground for rocks. If he was lucky, he’d spot ones he didn’t have in his collection yet.
Once he reached the steam he waded through it, not caring as the cold water brought goosebumps to his skin. He made it across and relaxed on the opposite bank, splaying his limbs out. Even the ground just felt better out here. He’d never admit it was from being away from his father but he liked the chaos of it. Everything was different and it was amazing.
Hen spent his days like that, dancing around his father (which wasn’t hard as he had many responsibilities) and going through his motions. Thankfully, he didn’t really get that upset using this tactic.
After a few days Hen had to attend the weekly whole group yoga session and so he took his place next to his father. He bowed and began as Bar’ry called different poses. Hen focused on his breathing. He hated yoga. Or rather, he hated having to do yoga next to his father and in front of his entire extended family.
As the poses got more and more difficult, Hen struggled not to slip up. His father balanced on his hands with an ease that wasn’t normal while Hen’s arms shook with exertion. He looked into the crowd and saw Hor’ Ce smiling this almost wicked smile. Now his arms were shaking for more than one reason. He focused on his breathing, trying to relax. His hands just got more and more shaky as they went on. Eventually it became too much and he fell. It wasn’t far and it’s not like it actually hurt him but his face burned red with shame, his bottom lip wobbling.
Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, that was one of the last poses so Hen didn’t have to keep it together for long. Once it was over he forced a shaky smile on his face and gave everyone a goodbye, his breathing already picking up. His muscles were tight and he needed to relax.
“Hen!” The all too familiar voice of his father shook him from his mind, he looked up as Bar smiled at him.
“My sweet son, what happened during yoga just now?” He asked him, his hands gently grasping Hen’s. He didn’t want him to touch him. He wanted him to stay away.
“I fell.” Hen whispered softly, saying it out loud not fixing anything. If anything, he felt worse as he father nodded solemnly.
“That’s right my son. And that’s an imperfection. How do we feel about imperfections?”
“We correct them.” He replied, his well practiced line coming out fairly easily. He needed to get away. He needed to get out. Everything was crushing him. He didn’t feel right. Get out, get away, flee. He didn’t even hear what his father said, the ringing in his ears too loud as he yanked his hands out of his fathers. He had to go. Right now.
Hen took off running. Or rather, he tried to run. He froze in place as Bar’ Ry’s magic took hold of him after four steps. He could practically feel his frown. No. No no no no. He would not be pacified again. He was stronger than that. He cried out with the physical exertion, tearing through his magic before running again. He was gasping for breath, tears starting to run down his cheeks. He needed to get away from him and his oppressing control. He needed to go to the one place where he had control.
Hen dashed into the woods, his feet that had once avoided roots perfectly now tripping. He was shaking now, his body physically in pain. He felt like he might throw up as he finally found his cliff face.
Except it was wrong. The place where the opening should be was gone, completely destroyed, and instead it was filled with piles of rubble. Hen ducked under the lip, trying to summon any magic to his fingers. He found that he couldn’t, too upset to even cast a simple spell like mold earth. He collapsed into a ball, crying into his knees.
It was gone. His own little spot had been devastated by some magic user. The one place where he felt like himself was gone. The one place where he’d felt a connection to his mother was gone. And the one place where he’d seen that other world was gone. All of it, gone.
“Oh Hen. I’m so sorry. But it had to go. Places like that are just so...unpredictable. And we can’t have that can we?” Hen heard his father's voice. His father who shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near this place. His father who kept him in a box all his life. His father who destroyed the one home he thought he had.
Hen was angry. He’d been angry before but never like this. This was white hot rage and it was all consuming. It was dangerous and threatening and it made him feel powerful.
Hen stood, feeling his magic crackling around him. He looked at Bar’ Ry who had the most amused expression on his face. As if this was just a game.
“Get away from me.” Hen snarled at him before sending a shock wave of energy through the earth. Bar, though he hadn’t fallen backwards, looked very displeased. He moved to cast a spell but Hen was already off again. He knew he couldn’t defeat his own father. He was much more skilled at magic than him and would make sure you knew it too.
Hen cast wild shape, becoming a bird and frantically flying through the trees, hopefully putting distance between him and his father. He weaved for a bit, almost sensing that his dad was following him. Had to get away. Had to go. He heard a screech and looked up just in time to roll away from falcon talons that almost snatched him up.
Unfortunately, as he rolled he crashed into the other side of the river where he’d run too not so long ago. He shifted back into human form, breathing heavy. He brought his magic to his hands ready to fight back, to get him to leave him alone. Had to go. Had to flee.
The air in front of him startlingly started to swirl and distort. He felt a vacuum starting to open and he scrambled backwards in fear. But then he heard his father's voice though he couldn’t make out the words. And his fear of the unknown outweighed the fear of his father.
Suddenly he was in darkness. It wasn’t oppressive, it just was and he knew that he was just this way as well. He heard a gentle voice and he moved towards it, though he couldn’t tell if he was walking, running, or some other movement entirely. A figure appeared in his vision though they seemed out of focus. They were bright around the edges and had a movement that Hen’s eyes couldn’t track. He blinked, being around this being made his head hurt. He felt the figure's attention turn to him and he winced as the pounding increased.
“Oh dear, you’re not supposed to be here. Who….Ah, you’re from Oakvale. And….going to earth.” Hen blinked as he looked up, startling backwards at how close she’d become. And he knew now that she was a she. She had a rounded face and blonde hair peeked out from beneath her cap. She had a black kind of box around her neck and she had a kind smile on her face.
“Who….who are you?” Hen asked with concern as she just shook her head. She couldn’t tell him. He knew that very suddenly and it made his head throb painfully.
“I’ll send you on your way. But be careful, time moves differently between dimensions. Be safe, my sweet Henry.”
And just like that his vision when dark again. He woke up in the woods and for a horrifying moment he thought this was all a dream and he was still with his father. But no, he could almost feel the difference in how the air didn’t buzz around his skin. Something was missing here. Wherever here was.
He took some deep breath, sitting down to realize he’d lost his clothes at some point. He...couldn’t remember where he was coming from. He closed his eyes. Okay, so what did he know? He knew that he was in these woods. He knew he had long puffy blonde hair. He knew that his name was…. For a horrifying second he didn’t even know his own name. But he knew it started with an H. Hen? No that wasn’t quite right there was something else…. Ry. Henry. Okay so his name was Henry. That was a start.
Carefully, he stood, supporting himself against a tree. He felt exhausted, his head pounding. What had happened to him? He supposed that maybe if he found some other people they could tell him what happened to him. And then maybe he’d feel better. But he had to find whoever was going to help him himself. So Henry started walking. He walked for a long time, his legs though tired before now completely sore. He collapsed for the night on the ground, his stomach growling and his mouth dry.
But the next morning he woke up and walked some more. In his spare time, he tried to remember anything else about where he’d come from. He remembered his last name was Oak and that he was considered an adult...though by who he couldn’t determine. He remembered his father and an argument. And he left. Wherever his father was he’d left him and he deserved it and now he was free.
Henry walked for three days, completely naked, through the wilderness. He’d started to lose hope until he heard voices. They weren’t talking in a language he was very familiar with but it was a language. He ran through the underbrush. He’d be rescued and everything would be explained. He burst from the trees onto a path in the way of two hikers. One of them stepped forward cautiously as she gently smiled at him.
“What’s your name?” She asked carefully and he smiled. He’d been waiting to tell it to someone. To make sure he wouldn’t forget again. Some things were slippery and would come in and fade out so he needed to tell someone so he couldn’t forget.
“My name is Henry.” He replied, smiling back at her. And she offered him a hand to hold carefully as she replied softly.
“Hi Henry. My name is Mercedes Garcia. Let’s get you to a hospital.”
Henry’s body collapsed from exhaustion right after hearing those words. He lost consciousness, sleeping and resting and healing. Though unaware of it, he’d traveled through dimensions and met an eldritch being, that takes a lot out of you.
When he woke up again he was in a very clean room. He was wearing a sort of dress thing and he had some sort of blanket though it was very itchy. The walls were white and weren’t like the tents back home. He’d never seen a living space like this before.
He looked around, seeing machines hooked to him that he almost panicked about. But what calmed him down again was seeing her. She was sitting curled up in one of the chairs next to his weird sleeping place, one of the blankets thrown over her.
And in that moment he knew: he was in good hands.