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There had been arguments, of course. Raised voices. The frustration of two people with very strong convictions that contradicted each other. Melanie didn’t have the same sort of ferocity anymore, and there were times when she wished she could be harsh and unfeeling again as she choked out words between sobs. But in the end, Georgie had understood. At least enough to agree that she would support her afterwards.
Neither of them had slept that first night; even once they'd both tipped over from tired to exhausted, it was impossible to lie still in the dark. Instead they had researched and made plans about what to buy, where to move the furniture, how best to make Georgie’s place as accessible as possible. And now it was time to test it.
“I’m going to put it on now, okay?” Georgie’s voice was soft, her touch gentle as she stroked Melanie’s cheek. They’d tried this once before, with Melanie just keeping her eyes closed, but instinct had made her open her eyes when she’d stumbled. The sooner they could make progress, the better, so they’d settled on a blindfold.
“Let’s do this,” Melanie agreed. She couldn’t help but tense as the cloth was carefully tied over her eyes, but a few calming breaths and Georgie’s firm hold on her arm grounded her.
The first few trips around the flat were done in silence. Melanie focused only on forming a mental map of the layout now that they’d moved around what they could. A few things needed to be changed around, they discovered, but it’s easily done. Then it’s time for Georgie to stop guiding her. The next walk around the flat is much slower, more cautious. She stops several times, anticipating some piece of furniture or another to be in her path because that’s how she remembers the layout, before remembering that things were more clear and open now. Safer. She knew that once she got out of the hospital she’d have a cane to help her find her way around, but the more familiar she was with home, the better.
They could have spent longer preparing, if she didn’t feel so disgusted and scared every time she stepped through the threshold into the Institute but so sick staying away from it. However, one day she woke up and she just knew it was time. She’d been late that day; had taken time to take in everything she could about the woman she loved before steeling herself and walking out the door. Not that punctuality had mattered in a while. She only went in the first place to fend off the sickness that came from being away too long, and to say goodbye to Jon. Regardless of what Georgie thought, she owed him that. He’d told her how to get out. She could trust him to let her do what she needed to and call the paramedics without trying to stop her. She knew that while she waited she would let her blood stain some of the books in the library. It wouldn’t do much, but damaging a little of Elias’s precious collection would be a little extra closure.
Georgie had been ready and waiting for the call, so she was at the hospital as soon as possible. Melanie couldn’t remember much from the first days; it was mostly a disorientated mess of fear and pain and nothingness. When she’d fielded questions about why she’d done what she’d done, whatever she’d told them had convinced them that the break from reality she’d had was temporary and no she did not want to hurt herself anymore. She couldn’t see their faces, but their tone as they spoke to Georgie made it clear that if she didn’t have the woman to keep an eye on her she would have been moved to a psychiatric in-patient program once she’d healed enough physically. They could judge all they liked. None of them could ever possibly hope to understand.
Even without being able to see Georgie’s face anymore, she could still picture in her mind the way her face would have looked as she told her she loved her as they sat on the couch together the day of her release. When The Admiral hopped up with a small sound and immediately began to purr, she could imagine the exact way her girlfriend’s face would have softened and hear the sound of the cat kneading the blanket they were sitting under, his claws catching the fabric a little with each repetition. When Melanie slowly reached out, her hand met a field of soft fur and she felt herself smile. Everything from the last few years could finally be pushed aside into a box and she could just live again. She didn’t entirely remember what that felt like, but she was sure she’d get the hang of it soon enough.