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Dear Ochako,
Your mom says you're not coming back to school this term. She says you're enjoying your summer there with your aunt so much you decided to transfer. That sounds nothing like you but whatever, I guess, hope you're having the time of your life. You’ll come back soon to visit though, right? And I guess we’ll have to make this a long distance relationship~ Sounds cool doesn’t it?
You're not really answering your phone, either, which is mildly upsetting but I'm doing my best handling it. Then I remembered this address so here goes nothing, right?
He got back home earlier this week. They say he got out, set on probation. Staying at home is pain in the ass but he'll be back in no time, I'm sure.
Soooo I hope you'll reply soon because life sucks and I miss you. But whatever, have fun!
Love, Deku.
School without Ochako sucks even more than school break without Ochako, Izuku finds out, way too early in September. It's just the senior year, he tells himself. She'll be back next year. Everything's fine. Except it's absolutely not and Izuku is alone.
There is no one playing with him, no one laughing at his stupid jokes and definitely no one who could instantly brighten up his day like she does.
Suddenly it all feels like it matters when he is at the bottom of the popularity food chain.
Well, to be fair, that's nothing new. He was there before but he wasn't alone and now that he is, it feels much lonelier.
It takes him about two weeks. Two weeks are all he needs to get conditionally expelled, for being violent. Yeah, Izuku is such a violent individual. Exactly what was the said boy thinking when some stupid football player smashed his head against the locker, knocking him unconscious for about a lifetime and calling it an assault, oh yeah football players sure get assaulted by Izuku's barely-hundred-pounds ass.
But nobody cares what Izuku has to say, all people care about is that he lives with a criminal and so they treat their family as such.
Dear Ochako,
School is pain in the ass without you. I miss you so much. I made so many plans for our next date, so get ready for many surprises whenever you come back!
You're still not answering my letters and your parents got really annoyed when I was asking her about you last week. If you're wondering how to make me forgive you, I accept postcards and pictures! :)
Love ya, Deku.
Not all football players have the intention to use Izuku as their punchbags, apparently. Or maybe they do, in the long run. Not like he can tell, anyway.
Todoroki Shouto is tall and gorgeous and without any doubt, the best player of the team. Izuku knows him, or as much as he can, being around for seventeen years of their lives, considering they both grew up in this pretentious little city where everyone knows everything.
Shouto talks to him about as unexpectedly as it gets, one day after their Math class, which is one of the three classes they share.
"I can tutor you," he says. Like it's nothing.
"Come again?" Izuku takes a step back, utterly in shock. He crosses his arm a little closer to his frame.
"You managed to fuck up majority of the tests so far which seems a bit strange considering you're not dumb at all."
Izuku just stares at him, mouth gaping. Maybe someone should tell him that not all problems can be solved by the Popular Todoroki Shouto.
"What do you care?" he shrugs instead, his posture defensive.
"Well, the whole school thinks that you're a lowlife waiting to drop out of high school to follow the steps of your father but I've seen you do the magic. You know how to count and your attendance is pretty good. You might have enough credits to get to college in spring so maybe pull your head out of your ass, Midoriya."
Izuku is both offended and also a bit touched that this two-color-headed boy cared enough to check his record and think about his future. But mostly he is annoyed.
"What the hell? Did you read my file?"
"Do you want my help or not?"
Izuku hesitates. It's not like he never thought about college. It's just that he doesn't have money nor anyone to exactly support him pursuing any of his dreams.
But Shouto is standing in front of him like this and Izuku really used to enjoy algebra back in the day.
"Fine."
"Fine what?"
"Fine, I want your help."
Izuku never let anyone from school, except Ochako, come into his house. Not like people were eager to. The house looks like it's seen better times, the facade is barely sticking together and people assume it's been abandoned years ago, unless they're local. Then they know who lives there very well.
But it's the closest thing Izuku's got to home. And he suddenly misses Ochako even more when he's at home because there used to be a time when they would stay there for weeks, eating popsicles and sleeping and watching movies, hidden in his room, which is in the basement but it's great like that. His father doesn't bother going down there, so that's a plus. Not like the said man stays around a lot.
Shouto, however, pulls up outside the house, in his gorgeous silver car, looking like the world's greatest creation and also like he doesn't belong there at all.
Agreeing to his offer might have been both, the best and also the worst decision of his entire life, that's for sure.
Todoroki Shouto is fucking demanding and he knows how to get something if he wants it. No wonder he's so good at football, or at anything, really.
He glares at Izuku until Izuku retracts his hand when he tries to sneak a bag of potato chips from under the table. But Izuku doesn't mind that much.
Maybe it's worth it. The frown leaving Shouto's face when Izuku gets something right, or the way he smiles when he starts getting a problem he didn't before.
It's a mess. Shouto’s a football player and he’s not supposed to get involved. But his hands are nice, his gray and turquoise eyes are gorgeous, and his smile — while rare — is sincere and somehow that's enough.
Shouto arranges another session, way too far into the next week because training's keeping him busy.
Dear Ochako,
You probably changed your number, which is fine, although I was hoping you'd at least tell me. Don’t worry! I’ll still write letters to you!
School is still shit but I kinda started hanging out with Todoroki Shouto. He's... well, Mr Popular in the football team. He's shit but he makes me laugh and he helped me with maths so...
Dad left again, but he'll run out of money soon so I guess there is that.
I miss you like crazy but your mom refuses to even look at me now. So hopefully you're too busy having fun to reply or even check any of your accounts or post mail or whatever.
I love you so much!
See you soon hopefully, Deku.
Shouto smacks the stick out of his hand, an irritated expression on his pretty features.
"Hey! I paid for that," Izuku whines, already fishing out the box from his pocket and lighting another one.
"You know how much I hate it," Shouto groans, brows furrowed and he's too beautiful for a mundane and Izuku just can't look away.
Shouto hates cigarettes and alcohol and drugs and he doesn't let any of those ruin his future. He is a football player and he surely doesn't take any chances.
"What? You're scared I'll die?"
"There are worse things than death, Midoriya," he shakes his head like Izuku doesn't understand anything and maybe he doesn't.
But Shouto took him out for a party that night. But Izuku doesn't like anyone from their school and the feeling is mutual. And since Uraraka isn't around, Shouto is the only company he's got. He doesn't complain, God of course he doesn't.
They hang out together a lot lately. And maybe that's just a game, one that Shouto plays because he got bored in his perfect house with his perfect family where he lives his perfect life and Izuku is just interesting enough to catch his attention. Maybe.
But now he's leaning against the brick fence and he's so, so gorgeous. And Izuku can see the lights reflect in his irises. And he should just look away but he's weak.
So the cigarette's long burned out when there are Shouto's fingers tangled in his hair, kissing away any doubts, lips warm.
His father does indeed come back home, just like he predicted. And God, it is not a pretty sight. Neither is it pretty when Izuku appears in school in a thick hoodie and sunglasses on Monday. Oh yeah, he's a master at hiding black eyes and bruises.
But he isn't on his own anymore and when Shouto sees him in his full beaten up glory he is furious. Izuku's never seen him like this and suddenly nothing matters anymore. Who cares about football and future. Everything be damned when all Shouto wants is to kill whoever did this.
They skip classes that day, it's probably a good thing because Izuku feels like Shouto's gonna punch anyone who as much as talks to them.
The Todoroki residence, which is more of a mansion, is huge and gorgeous. And it makes Izuku question why someone like Shouto would even talk to him in the first place, but when Shouto wraps him in his arms and in his white bed sheets, that question doesn't feel so important, neither does his split lip.
They spend the whole day in bed just laying and talking and it's so good.
And when Shouto rolls him over, slowly kissing him the all the affection and gentleness he can muster, the boy has never felt this loved.
Dear Ochako,
I still haven't heard back from you.
Hope you enjoyed Christmas. Remember when we were kids and my mom made these really great gingerbread cookies and we ate so much we both ended up throwing up that night and she was so mad? I miss you. I also miss my mom and those gingerbread cookies.
Speaking of which, I stopped by. Mostly to ask your mother about you and everything but she didn't open the door. I'm pretty sure she was at home but I guess she's just really that annoyed with me.
My Christmas was fun. I'm barely at home lately, I'm mostly staying at Todoroki’s but I suspect his father hates me so I guess I should get back to reality and move back to the basement.
Happy New Year, Ochako. I love you and miss you like crazy!!!
Yours, Deku.
His green curls have gotten longer. Too bad he's too cheap to get it cut. It doesn't matter, Shouto prefers it this way. It's nice to touch and play with and Izuku bares his throat so beautifully when he pulls on it.
He's grown so dependent on Shouto, reaching for him like a flower seeking the sun. And when their mouths meet, he goes blind with emotion and want and need and something too akin to love.
There is so much love in Shouto's eyes that Izuku doesn't need to worry.
The boy would promise him the Earth if he asked. Too bad Izuku can't see that. God, they're just as much stupid as they are in love. For maybe if Izuku wasn't gazing at him like he hung the moon maybe he would see everything clearly.
Izuku's father comes back home for good. With a tether around his ankle and that's not good. Not only Shouto can't go to their house anymore, they also can’t see each other for over a week. And when Izuku goes to see him, he looks like a walking corpse.
And then Shouto notices the dark circles under his eyes and the cast on his forearm.
"It's nothing," Izuku mutters but it doesn't mean anything, he can't even look Shouto in the eyes.
"He did this?"
"No, I— I slipped."
Shouto can't even believe his eyes nor his ears. "Are you even listening to yourself?"
"It's nothing, okay? Can't we just have a little fun or something? I-" Izuku looks like he really means it. Too bad, the other boy’s having none of it.
"You should report him," Shouto says. And it sounds resolute. There's no space for questions.
"Yeah? And then what? He'll go to jail and what do you think they'll do to me?" Izuku's voice shakes with every word. But his answer seems ready. He must have thought this through already.
"You're eighteen."
"God, you really can't see it, right? When he goes to jail they're gonna kick me out of the house, Todoroki! He's got debts and when he's locked up they will want the money. Sorry I wasn't born with a silver spoon up my ass like you but he's my father and unless I wanna drop out of high school, I have to endure it for a couple of months," Izuku looks furious. He hates everything. Such a shame Shouto showed up in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"He broke your arm if you haven't noticed!" Shouto groans and he knows his voice is harsh but Izuku's being a lunatic.
Izuku thought about it so much over the last week. He would leave the house and maybe get a place somewhere and then, when they graduate in a couple of months he and Shouto could get an apartment together and— and nothing because the other has spent his entire life trying to get something he dreams of and Izuku isn't going to ruin it for him.
At the end of the day people like Todoroki Shouto don't end up with people like Midoriya Izuku. There must be some unwritten rule about it somewhere.
He slides down the wall he was leaning against until he's seated at the floor and it suddenly feels funny. How naive he was when he believed they could make it. Like a child blindly believing the tales about tooth fairies.
"It's funny to you?" Shouto asks, in disbelief.
"You have no idea."
Shouto walks out on him that day.
Shouto gets the scholarship. It's no surprise and he indeed does pack his things and leaves. For a couple of weeks, to check out the campus and to see whether he likes it or not. Izuku hears from someone at school, probably Ejirou, who can't keep his mouth shut no matter what. But Izuku has trust issues with people leaving for when he was ten his mom was supposed to go on a trip for a few days and she has yet to come back. And when he was seventeen his best friend—his girlfriend—left without much notice too, not like she's talking to him anymore.
I can't believe you left me alone like this. After everything we have been through together. You didn't even leave a message, no number to reach you on. Nothing. It’s been 9 months, you know?
I would have died for you, I would have done everything for you and you just left. But I guess that's life, right?
Everyone leaves. We are born alone, we die alone. At the end of the day we are on our own, huh?
Uraraka's body is found at the beginning of April, when the soils aren't so frozen anymore and when everyone dares to have fun again upon the promise of summer. She's found in Izuku's backyard, 3 feet deep in the ground and it's shocking that the asshole who did it to her cared enough to put her body into a black plastic bag before burying her right behind her boyfriend's house.
It's such a coincidence that they find her. An unfortunate one.
Izuku thinks his father wouldn't have even called the police if he'd discovered the body on his own. But he was there.
And human life suddenly feels way too fragile and it's too much to bear but Izuku goes numb.
Maybe that's a good thing because the day when they find her is just the beginning of the witch hunt on Izuku and his father. And if anyone had any doubts about Izuku being the lowest scum, they sure don't have them now.
Izuku's put on strong medication and that's probably good. He mostly sleeps or just sits in his room and looks at nothing in particular. But that's just the first week. Then someone says enough and they want him sober.
For interrogation, mostly.
There is a word on the street about how Izuku lured Uraraka to his house so his father could kill her and if Izuku was sober he would throw up just thinking about it. But he's not and he doesn't care what new stories these people have to say about him now.
Shouto comes back on the first day of the following month. Somehow he manages to absolutely avoid any information about Uraraka and her miraculous so-called return. And what's even more striking, he gets to see Izuku, standing and healthy, gripping a cigarette and a lighter, sitting on the concrete stairs in front of his house.
"You're back."
Shouto offers a smile, charming just like he can and if Izuku's heart wasn't torn out seven ways from Sunday he would maybe fall for him all over again, "Sure am."
"How was the trip?"
"Good. Missed you, though," he says. Like it's nothing. Just a matter of fact. And Izuku wishes they met in different life where he wasn't a fuck up from the beginning of his life.
"You missed a lot happening," Izuku barely whispers.
"Yeah?"
"I found her."
Shouto’s eyebrows shoot up, he has no idea. It's like time froze in his life and Izuku wants to go back so desperately. To not know, to leave his father and just stay with Shouto.
But life goes on whether they like it or not.
"Or well— I found her body. In the backyard. A month ago. B-but they say she was there much longer. Since last July, apparently," the words feel wrong, like he was trying to swallow blades.
Shouto doesn't say anything. He just stares at him, like he was waiting for Izuku to say he doesn't mean it. As if.
"This whole time I was waiting for her to text me or call me. Or even appear, you know? We all thought she's having fun somewhere else, in a different city, maybe in a different country. While she was lying dead under my threshold."
They sit there for hours or maybe just minutes. Izuku doesn't know but he grips the cigarette long after it's just a useless filter and his fingers are burned raw.
People have been talking about Izuku, the son of the man who slit Uraraka's throat wide open. And he doesn't care, he doesn't care at all. He barely appears in school but Shouto is there and he sees and hears all of them. He doesn't talk to Izuku about it, why should he? But he still has his mind too full of Izuku.
Maybe that's the problem.
Maybe that's why Izuku finds him in the middle of a fight with Dabi. Shouto and knows him pretty well. They’ve met several times for football games, Dabi being the best player on the professional’s team.
Doesn't change the fact that Shouto breaks someone's nose for him.
And Izuku feels even worse for ruining Shouto’s college application.
Izuku doesn't go home anymore. He can't stand the place and he can't stand the man living there and he refuses to even think about him.
So naturally, he goes wherever Shouto goes. How do they say it? Your home is where your heart is. And his heart is with Shouto, that's the only truth he knows.
Shouto’s parents are currently in Europe, and that's good. He doubts they would let him stay, he's the killer's son, isn't he?
That’s it. That’s what he is. A nobody who everyone leaves behind, who has nothing to his name except sharing the last name with a murderer, a person worth nothing. The thought of Shouto, prodigy of the Todoroki family, choosing to spend his time with him must be so repulsive to everyone.
“You have to leave me. I’m tainting your image, you future.”
Shouto stays quiet for a few moments, though, his expression hardens. "What does it matter?"
Izuku leans against the edge of Shouto's bed and he just can't fight the ugly smile spreading on his mouth.
"You don't care?" he laughs and it sounds wrong and brittle and rough.
The other is watching him cautiously and then he steps closer, maybe to comfort him, it's not a good move. With every step, his heart that's all Shouto's — now and in the next thousands lifetimes — shatters even more.
“Then I’ll leave.” The way he says it is cold and rough, tears are pooling in his eyes. The other jerks at his words, but he doesn't pull away.
"Shut up," Shouto whispers, it's quiet but it's firm.
"I'm no good for you, can't you see?" whimpers Izuku, slowly breaking down in front of Shouto's eyes.
"I don't care, I want to be with you. You're not alone, I'm here." Shouto says simply, like it's the solution to all his problems. And,
maybe it is.
It's okay. Everything's okay.
Shouto is there with him, he is there to wipe away his tears. To kiss them away and to hold him close.
Izuku lets him.
Izuku shows up at Ochako's place one last time. He wants to hear her parents say something to him and the story isn't really making any sense to him either.
Ochako reportedly left at the beginning of July last year. And that's true. She and Izuku spent the whole day in his house, because they just couldn't leave each other's side and then he walked her home and they didn't say goodbye. Ochako hated saying goodbyes so she just hugged him tight and told him to see him soon.
And then her parents were talking to Izuku about her over the entire school break, everytime he asked about her they would tell him she's fine and having fun in the other city.
Except for the fact that report said she was buried dead since July. And what a coincidence it was that someone had the mind to bury her in the well-known criminal's backyard.
Izuku's body is found in July, way too close to the anniversary of Uraraka's death. Maybe he was met with the same fate for similar reasons, maybe they both knew way too much.
Unlike Uraraka, he's found in the middle of a street, abandoned on the ground. They say he hit his head quite bad when he fell down. They completely ignore all the bruises and the cuts, all the wounds indicating any form of assault, the case is closed. Stranger things have happened than an abandoned boy found dead on the street.