Chapter Text
-namjoon has created a groupchat-
-namjoon has added tae, gukkie, santa and three others to the chat-
wwh: um
wwh: 👋 hi
santa: what is this
santa: why am I here
sunshine: TO DELIVER PRESENTS DUH
santa: um what do you mean
santa: shit
santa: stupid keyboard
-santa has changed their name to Satan-
sunshine: oh.
gukkie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHEHDJXUSHSJSSUSUJSJENE
tae: um
tae: what the sincere fuck
gukkie: yoongi hyung that was so funny
Satan: .......
gukkie: no I’m being serious
wwh: okay being serious
gukkie: 😡😡 oi bitch that’s not funny
wwh: 😧 it’s 😡😡 oi bitch that’s not funny HYUNG to yoy
wwh: you*
Satan: jungkook.
gukkie: yes hyung?
Satan: I’m glad you find my spelling mistakes funny, however we have more important matters to dsicuss
Satan: discuss*
Satan: getting a new fucking phone if this keep sup
Satan: hello apple store yes I’d like a nEW FUCKING OHONE
Satan: that’s it I’m leagung
-Satan has left the groupchat-
Gukkie: ..
Tae: HEEHHSUANAIWSSJSKSSISUXDHNDNDKDLDODODIEJENENEH
Hey Jimmy I’m Jimin: tAE
Tae: cHIM
Hey Jimmy I’m Jimin: is my name too long
Tae: no
Hey Jimmy I’m Jimin: good
namjoon: um
namjoon: I left my phone for like five minutes.
namjoon: what
namjoon: the
namjoon: fuck
-namjoon has added Satan to the groupchat-
Satan: fuck offjdifndksishsndkd I’m trying to buy a new phine
namjoon: why
Satan: dungass scrolk up
namjoon: ...
namjoon: oH
namjoon: Hhaha- I mean I am sorry about your keyboard
Satan: u bitch
namjoon: how dare you
namjoon: I’m coming to ur room
Satan: idgsf
namjoon: I’m here
Satan: I heard u knock
namjoon: let me in
Satan: no
namjoon: let me in
Satan: no
namjoon: let me in
Satan: no
namjoon: let me in
Satan: no
namjoon: let me in
Satan: no
namjoon: let me in
Satan: no
Tae: DTOPPPPPPPPPPP ANNOYING HYUNGD
Tae: I need a new phone too
Hey Jimmy I’m Jimin: no it’s ur fat gingers
Tae: my what
Hey Jimmy I’m Jimin: curse this keyboard
Hey Jimmy I’m Jimin: fingers*
Satan: shit
Satan: help am currently hiding in my closet
Satan: I mean I’m not currently hiding in my closet
Satan: stupid phone
Satan: shit gtg bye
Tae: he’s dead
sunshine: he will be missed
wwh: will he tho
sunshine: that’s the question isn’t it
Hey Jimmy I’m Jimin: what was that
sunshine: sounded like joon
namjoon: FUDJCICJFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKDONTMESSWITHYOONGIHYUNG
Tae: holy shit what happened
namjoon: let’s just say
namjoon: I have a black eye now
Satan:you deserved it
wwh: bITCH YOU HRURT OUR LESDER U SHOUKD BE ASHAMED
wwh: U ARENT GETTING SHY OF MY FOOD
wwh: ANY*
Satan: ....
Satan: good.
wwh: whAT DID YOUNSAY?!
Satan: I said good.
wwh: HVITIRJCHCNXJSKAKAOSISI
-10 minutes later-
Gukkie: um where tf did they go
Tae: language
Gukkie: *insert woman yelling at cat meme here, you’re the woman I’m the cat*
Tae: did I fucking yell
Gukkie: language
Tae: bITCH
Gukkie: LANGUAGE
Tae: KOREAN
Gukkie: PROFANITIES
Tae: KOREAN
Gukkie: PROFANITIES
wwh: nobody is getting dinner tonight sadly
Gukkie: wHAT?!.! WHY NOT?!
namjoon: 👀
wwh: DONT 👀 ME
wwh: YOU STUPID HOE
namjoon: um
wwh: FUCKIN BITCH
namjoon: you’re being a little over dramatic
wwh: YOU
Gukkie: HWAT DID HE DO?!?!
wwh: YOU DIDNT PAY ATTENTION AND YOU KNOCKED THE FOOD ONTO THE FLOOR
sunshine: o.o
Tae: I’m out
Hey Jimmy I’m Jimin: same
wwh: I JUST FUCKING FINISHED COOKING IT
wwh: I WAS GOING TO LET YOONGI HAVE SOME
wwh: YOU DUMBASS
namjoon: :( I’m sorry hyung
wwh: NO
wwh: YOU’RE NKT
wwh: AND YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANY OF MY FOOD FOR A WEEK
namjoon: whA
namjoon: but u have the best food
wwh: awww thank u 😊
wwh: WAIT A MINUTE
wwh: NI THATS NIT GOING TO WORK ON ME
Gukkie: he tried
Tae: he tried
Hey Jimmy I’m Jimin: he tried
sunshine: he tried
Satan: he failed
wwh: NO
wwh: SHUT THE HELL UP CHILDREN
Satan: butch.
Satan: I am nit a child.
Satan: nine of us are children.
wwh: um
wwh: TNERES ONKY FIVE OF YOU
Satan: YOU DUMBASS BITCH I EMANT NONE
Tae: this is all namjoons fault
Hey Jimmy I’m Jimin: yep
namjoon: meanies