Chapter Text
On that September evening, the sunset at the horizon spread into a surprisingly clear sky, hues of crimson blended with tangerine orange and pale lilac; the crisp breeze blowing from behind Miyagi's morbid hills threw the young men's already messy hair in further disarray.
Two years. It had been two years since the last time they'd stood there together. Even when Hinata had returned from Brazil, and Kageyama had returned from Italy a— month prior— the thought of coming to that exact spot had never crossed their minds; too many memories, a reminder of the time they'd spent apart, a reminder of how far they had to stay from each other.
And it had hurt.
During those two years, they'd texted and called each other on the phone daily, and something had changed. As soon as they'd known that they were both in Miyagi, they'd spent almost every day together doing whatnot, unsaid yet obvious words lingering in the air thick with tension.
And now, there they were, standing only a couple of feet apart, closer than ever. Hinata's hands trembled around Kageyama's, the gentle hold unsteady for a moment. Hazel eyes locked onto cobalts; Hinata's lips quivered, unable to hold the truth any longer.
He needed to say it. He needed to tell him.
He needed to come clean. So, he inhaled a shaky breath, lungs squeezed and stomach knotted and twisted uncomfortably.
Hinata opened his mouth, and closed his eyes. "Tobio, I love y—”
“No. Wait. Stop.”
And Hinata did, eyes opening suddenly, slowly, as if to understand if he’d understood correctly. Had Kageyama just… stopped him mid-confession?
Had Hinata misread the situation and the setter’s intentions? A dry tongue ran over his lips, a faint attempt at rousing himself from the shock as he simply stared at the man before him.
Kageyama's heart leapt in his throat, pounding incessantly as he took a shaky step back drawing away from Hinata, who had a fearful look in his eyes.
"I'm sorry.” Hinata breathed out, faintly, the realisation dawning, “I just needed to tell you, but you can ignore it. I'm— I'm sorry, Tobio. You don't—"
"N-no, wait! I love you too, Shōyō,” Kageyama clarified immediately, “it's not that. I love you, I do..." His eyes were wide, and Hinata's chest seized in excitement, though it didn't last for long as Kageyama continued.
"B-but I… I need to talk to you before you say something you might instantly regret." Kageyama fretted, voice low and gaze fixed to his shoes.
Hinata nodded, leaning over a bit while trying to get a glimpse of the setter's suddenly nervous face. He looked panicked, Hinata noticed, which was… unusual, to say the least.
"Are you alright?" he asked, tone warm, and placed a hand on the other's shoulder, squeezing it gently.
Kageyama shook his head, only barely, and muttered something unintelligible that Hinata didn't catch. Kageyama knew how unclear he'd been.
The man inhaled sharply, locking his gaze to Hinata's worried one. He needed to speak now, it was only fair to Hinata, who'd always been so kind to him.
"Uh, Tobio? What's—?"
"I don't do sex." Kageyama blurted out, and pursed his lips in a thin line immediately after and squeezed his eyes shut, expecting anger to wash over Hinata and for the guy to yell.
Hinata didn't do that. The middle-blocker only blinked once, twice, and again, looking bemused.
The redhead tilted his head, and Kageyama couldn't quite read his expression.
"N-not what I was expecting after a love confession, but okay. So… You mean you don't usually have sex? Or, that you've never had it, maybe?" Hinata asked, apparent calm masking the devastating swirl of emotions raging inside his soul for the utter confusion.
Kageyama swallowed the thick knot in his throat, mouth agape as he fumbled for words.
"No— well, yeah. Both. I don't— I just… don't want that. It's not for me. I... I don't do that. Sex, I mean. I don't think I'd like it, and I don't care for it."
After a moment of deafening silence, Hinata hummed. And Kageyama panicked.
"I'm so sorry, Shōyō! I— I should've told you sooner, I know. I know that sex is important to you, I know you like it and want it. I just— I didn't think…" he trailed off, head sagging. "I'm sorry. Honestly, I didn't even know that this thing was an issue until recently. I genuinely didn't know, but this doesn't excuse me. I'm so sor—"
"No, hey! Tobio, listen." Hinata interrupted. In an unsurprisingly caring gesture, he brought his hands up and gently rubbed his callous thumbs on Kageyama's cheeks.
"If you don't want to have sex, it's fine by me. Yes, I've had sex before and yes, I liked it a lot, but I like you more, waaay more! I would never ask you to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Sex is secondary— no, even less important than that for me. Stop apologising for being yourself!" Hinata smiled, though his gaze was fixed and absolutely serious.
"This doesn't change the fact that I want to be with you, if you'll have me." he said, tone firm yet gentle.
Kageyama was at a loss of words. A choked, strangled whimper was all he could manage.
Hinata flashed a warm grin, still rubbing his cheeks and never looking away.
"You just tell me what you are not comfortable with and I will respect it, no questions asked." Hinata continued,
"I swear that this doesn't change anything; I still love you the exact same way, no matter what. And I would have confessed to you even if I'd known about this earlier, in case you were wondering. I love you, Tobio, I really do."
"Sh-Shōyō… Are you sure?"
"What kind of question is that, bakeyama!? 'Course I am!" Hinata grinned.
The setter felt something warm spreading across his chest, heart hammering in his ears. "Thank you. I don't know what to say. I've never— nobody's ever said that to me. They said I was..." he didn't finish that sentence.
Instead, his fists curled at his sides, short nails digging into the palm, and sobbed. His face was still dry, but his desperate attempt at holding the tears back had given his face a slightly red tinge, and not just because Kageyama was flustered. Hinata waited patiently for him to continue.
"Forget that," Kageyama hiccupped softly, "I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me, I shouldn't be sad now, should I? Sorry. I— Shōyō, I love you. Thank you for understanding."
Hinata chuckled, "Don't mind!" He let his hands stroke Kageyama's corvine hair, careful not to pull any strands. "I will always be here for you."
Kageyama nodded, still fighting the sobs, and was suddenly pulled into a tight embrace, Hinata's muscular arms pressing their bodies together. After a brief moment, however, Hinata pulled away, eyes wide and panicked, much to Kageyama's confusion.
"Oh— are hugs okay? I didn't think about that, sorry." Hinata winced.
"Y-yeah, sure. Why did you even ask?"
"Because we hugged before I knew about this. Maybe hugging is a no-no, too, and I just realised that you may have done it only to make me happy, and I don't want to force you. I didn't know you were ace yet, I just wanted to make sure..." Hinata explained.
Kageyama nodded, a deep frown on his face, the kind of frown that had always freaked the middle-blocker out. He shuddered.
"W-what?"
"You're making the scary face!" Hinata muttered and braced himself, a fighting stance automatically modeling his body.
Kageyama raised an eyebrow. "It's… Shōyō, I'm not an ace, I'm a setter. W-what do hugs have to do with volleyball?" Kageyama asked, scratching the back of his neck.
"Eh? Tobio, that's— oh geez. Ace as in short for asexual, bakeyama." Hinata stuttered. He couldn't believe how clueless Kageyama could be sometimes, but he didn't mind.
More than clueless, that man was simply very naïve and unexpectedly shy, and this fact never failed to amuse and reassure Hinata, for some reason. It reminded him of the early days of their friendship, of those evenings spent in the gym practicing, of those late-nights walks on their way home, about their constant, silly bickering.
Kageyama's voice pulled him away from the trance. "Asexual?" he hummed, "Oh. I am. I think— is that the right term for what I am? Huh."
"I think it is?" it sounded more like a question, though. "We can look more into that, if you want."
"I'd— I'd like that a lot. Thanks, Shōyō. I've never— I didn't know. I mean, I looked some things up on the internet but I didn't think about it too much… I didn't think it mattered."
"It's okay, I understand! So, hugging is okay, then?"
"Yeah, I really like your hugs. They are nice. And warm. And comforting, too. Feel free to hug me whenever." Kageyama murmured, a tiny, gentle smile on his face. Hinata chuckled.
"Thank you, Tobio! I'll do my best to make my hugs be the nicest, warmest, most comforting hugs ever. And…" he trailed off, a thought flashing through his mind. No. I shouldn't. Not yet.
"And?" Kageyama pressed, an anxious frown painted on his face.
Hinata shook his head, "N-nothing! Nevermind."
"Oi, don't do that."
"I said it's nothing, really!"
"You— dumbass. Hinata, dumbass! You can't just hint and dip!"
"A-are you sure you want me to ask? It may make you feel uncomfortable." Hinata explained, "Besides, it's a stupid question, so stupid that's worth a hundred 'Dumbass! Hinata, dumbass!' of yours." he said, pressing his own hair down on his forehead and frowning, imitating Kageyama's semi-permanent scowl as he quoted him.
The latter blushed, mouth gaping. "S-stop doing that, dumbass! Ask away, already!"
"I… Okay. B-but promise me that you won't feel bad in case this question is too personal."
"I promise," Kageyama hummed with a little eye-roll, "come on, ask that question already."
The middle-blocker exhaled slowly, and gently grabbed Kageyama's sweaty hands, pulling them close to his own chest.
He felt the warmth of them, their callus and shallow cuts, so familiar. Hinata breathed in and out, and locked eyes with Kageyama's.
"Would it be okay if I kissed you?" he asked, voice barely a whisper, "N-not necessarily now, but eventually. It's okay if you don't like that either, seriously, I don't know why I even asked. So stupid, you don't even need to answ—"
"I— I've never done that." Kageyama blurted.
"Oh." Hinata deadpanned.
"I know, I'm twenty-two and had no first kiss yet. Don't say anything else." Kageyama exhaled, evidently blushing. Hinata's hands flew up in front of himself as he waved them, shaking his head too in a negatory gesture.
"I wasn't going to mock you, bakeyama! Let me get this straight: you've never kissed anyone at all, or...?"
"Well, I did, but only once. Truth or dare… I chose dare. And I hate losing, so… Yeah. I was fifteen, I think."
"Understandable, and so very you. " Hinata laughed, "Did you like that? Kissing, I mean, not truth or dare."
Kageyama shrugged, gaze low. "It was just a peck on the lips given to a girl I've never seen again after that. I don't even remember how it was. Probably below average, since I don't remember. Plus, it was with a girl… I hadn't realised that I wasn't into women, yet."
Hinata hummed. "Ah, makes sense."
"Is-is it a problem? If you want to kiss, we can, but I don't know if I'll be any good at it." Kageyama fretted, "I can learn."
"I'd like to kiss you, but if you're unsure then I won't force you." Hinata said, "And you don't need to learn, really. We can wait as long as you need."
"We, huh, I mean… We can try now. I-if it's okay for you. I just— I don't know how to do that, but I am curious and I feel very comfortable with you, so it's okay for me."
Hinata's heart filled with joy upon hearing the last bit; his nostrils widened, lips quivering in a proud smile.
"Wh-why are you doing that face, now!?"
"I'm just happy that you're comfortable with me!" Hinata confessed, hazel eyes sparkling with unshed tears. Kageyama's shoulders sagged in relaxation and relief.
"I thought it was obvious," he chuckled lightly, "you're the person I feel most comfortable with, dumbass." he joked.
The silence that followed was filled with unsaid words, lingering in the air, the late-summer breeze blowing gently from the south, bringing the scent of freshly mowed grass along. Hinata and Kageyama both knew that timing was essential, and yet neither could speak a word, now, scared of something deep and unknown.
Losing each other, maybe, though it was a tad drastic, coming to think of it. Hinata, who was certainly the more loquacious among the two, decided to end the pause.
"Do you really feel like kissing me right now? 'Cause I do." he said, grip on the other pair of hands tightening, "But only if you do."
Kageyama nodded vehemently. "I do, too! I really want to put my hands on your face and let our lips touch, because yours look soft and nice. Oh— and my hands are sweaty, like, the good kind of sweaty. I think it's a sign to give it a go... Shit, I really want to kiss you." Kageyama stuttered, blushing slightly and offering an awkward-looking smile, sincere nonetheless.
"That's—" Hinata couldn't suppress a snort, hand rising up to cover his grin of amusement, "that's a funny way to say it, but I get what you mean, Tobio. Even with this, you're as adorably awkward as ever. So… Are you ready?"
"Yeah? Uh. I don't… know. Just, let's do it."
"I'll stop if you tell me to, alright?"
"T-thank you."
"And if you don't like it, don't apologise, I won't mind."
"Okay, I'm r—"
"And if—"
Kageyama swung an arm around Hinata's back, pulling him close, and let his other hand hold the redhead's nape, fingers cradling the soft mane. Their noses briefly brushed against each other, breaths hitched, air impregnated with anticipation.
And then, Kageyama finally erased the distance between their lips.
The kiss was far from perfect, but neither of them cared, after all. Their teeth clanked briefly, and Kageyama had tried to slide his tongue slightly past Hinata's lips, but it wasn't as easy as he'd thought it would have been, and he ended up keeping the tongue for himself.
The setter savoured the sweat and grapefruit chapstick on Hinata's lips, and Hinata tasted Kageyama's mint-scented breath, huffed. He stood on his toes, though Kageyama was already leaning downwards, and brought his hands up to cup the setter's face again, feeling its heat.
After what felt like an eternity, though it had been a dozen of seconds at most, they pulled apart, holding their breaths, eyes wide in awe and wonder.
"Tobio…" Hinata murmured, astonished.
Kageyama gulped, a fine tremble running through his body, down the spine, the rush of adrenaline making him jittery. He blinked rapidly, and a faint smile appeared on his face.
"Was that okay for you? T-too much?" Hinata questioned, concerned at Kageyama's lack of words.
The setter grinned, teeth barely showing, "It was... awesome. I— can we try again? If it's okay, I mean. I don't..." Kageyama inhaled, flustered as he dried his hands on the sweatpants, "I don't know how often I can ask for it. But I liked it so, so much."
"You don't need to ask me for a kiss, bakeyama!" Hinata laughed, patting his shoulders as Daichi used to when one of them wasn't feeling well, "Geez, loosen up! We're equal, okay? If you want a kiss, come and get it."
"O-okay. Sorry, I'm just not very used to these things," Kageyama muttered, looking at his shoes, "thank you for being so patient, Shōyō. You're good at this whole love-thingy." Kageyama admitted, honestly amazed.
Hinata's face rapidly tinged in red, as he averted his gaze and grinned, "A-am I?" he chuckled, nervous, "Can I… kiss you again, then?"
"Sure. As much as you like."
And so he did. It was messy, but better. A slow yet passionate, sincere kiss, nothing extreme, but truly heartfelt. Kageyama smiled, as excited as a kid in front of a candy store, and Hinata was amazed at how genuinely good Kageyama's excited grin looked.
He still remembered the setter's first attempt at smiling to cheer the team up, and how Hinata had seriously thought that the guy wanted to fight. He chuckled at the memory, eyeing Kageyama fondly.
And the other returned the gaze with just as much love. Still, after an instant, his expression darkened a bit, and Hinata's heart fell. Had he done something wrong?
"Tobio?" he called, "What's with that face?"
Kageyama bit his lower lip. "Is it really not a problem for you? Me not doing sex, I mean. I know that everyone wants sex at some point, and I don't want to let you down, Shōyō."
Hinata shook his head slowly, "Not everyone wants to have sex, and not having it isn't a problem for me! I respect that completely and I will never feel like you let me down for this, Tobio."
"So you don't... think I'm flawed?" Kageyama tried, voice low. Hinata's fists curled tightly at his sides, chest swelling up in utter, mindless anger.
"Flawed? Man— is that what they told you, the people you mentioned earlier?" he seethed. Kageyama nodded.
"If I ever catch them— those bastards!" Hinata growled through gritted teeth. He shook his head, willing the anger away and focusing entirely on the man before him, soul filled with relief at the sight of those familiar cobalt eyes.
Hinata inhaled and exhaled through his nose, and offered a warm smile.
"Tobio, you're not flawed because of this. You're amazing, kind, loving, and just yourself. The people who told you that are jerks who've never had one good relationship in their whole lives, probably. Don't listen to them. It's me who you gotta have trust in, got it? Me."
"Right, sorry." Kageyama exhaled a light chuckle, "I trust you, Shōyō, I really do." he smiled, and leaned over, wrapping his arms around Hinata, squeezing him into a tight yet surprisingly gentle hug.
Kageyama breathed into Hinata's honey-scented hair, smiling at the familiarity of it, while Hinata buried his face into Kageyama's crook of the neck, bare skin making contact, a buzz-like feeling under it.
It felt… good. It felt like all of those times when the two of them had hugged haphazardly, without paying much attention to it, bodies crashing into each other out of excitement, mostly after a match or a tough training session.
It felt like the time when Hinata had grabbed Kageyama's hand to prevent him from falling down, and ended up being dragged to the floor anyway, his body on the setter's as the latter swore and pushed him away, no real malice nor anger in his tone. It felt like the last time they'd spoken face-to-face before Hinata left for Brazil.
The redhead's grip on his luggage was tight; tears streamed down his face freely, mouth blabbing about how Brazil was too, too far, about how he wanted to go but wanted to stay, too, not knowing that the other man was going to leave a few months after that, too.
Kageyama had hugged him, which was strange enough, and the hold had only tightened as Hinata sobbed louder, harder, and Kageyama's chest was so tight that it hurt.
"I'll be back. I'll b-be back, Kag-Kageyama, I swear. Wait for- for me, okay? P-promise me!"
"I will wait, Hinata. I k-know you will be back. I trust you."
And he did. He'd waited. And Hinata had come back to him. He'd sworn it, and he'd kept the promise.
Kageyama hadn't doubted him for a single moment.
Trust had always played a fundamental role in their relationship, ever since they'd joined the Karasuno— be it while playing volleyball or not, trust was fundamental.
"I trust you." Kageyama repeated, voice deep, "I trust you, Shōyō. I always have, and always will."
Hinata nodded, still buried deep into Kageyama's neck, "I trust you too, with my whole life. I want to be with you. I want to play volleyball with you, and laugh with you, and see that cute face of yours every day, and— Tobio, I love you. I don't care about the rest, I just love you." Hinata hiccupped, convoluted emotions hard to display in any other way if not with tears.
Kageyama did the same thing. And then, it clicked. Simultaneously, the two broke the embrace, eyes comically wide.
"Does this mean..?" Kageyama gasped, his mouth suddenly dry.
Hinata gulped, "W-we're..?"
"Holy shit. We're a couple." Kageyama breathed out in shock, trembling.
"We're a couple." the redhead repeated, just as shaken.
"I-I just said that, dumbass!"
"S-sorry, I'm— I don't know what to say!"
"Same here..." Kageyama trembled, "So…"
"We're a couple!" Hinata squeaked, and jumped on Kageyama who caught him, skillfully, still stumbling back a few feet. The two of them were laughing, not really knowing why, but they didn't care.
They were happy, finally reunited after a long, too long time. And neither of them was going to leave any time soon.