Work Text:
My dearest Monomon:
What a world I’ve seen! To call it an adventure does it no justice. Had I a word for it, a term more like “miracle” would suffice. I’ve faced so much danger, yet I harbor no disgust of the places I’ve wandered. I feel as though I owe this mindset to you; you were always there to lift my spirits. Though you were absent from my memory for quite some time, I knew deep in my heart that something or someone was fueling the passion for exploration that kept me going for so long. My age has only now caught up to me, and I feel it in every cell of my being. The nail I used to wield so easily now seems so heavy and cold. These legs that have carried me over Hallownest ache with the slightest movement. My heart is pained and I feel so empty. Is all of this a consequence of my duty being done, or does your absence drain me so?
The infection we fought so hard to contain has stained this land. It was as you feared: your solution proved only temporary, and the Wyrm promised that his vessel would be eternal. The plague is ever present. I’m physically unaffected, but something stirs within my mind that I can’t explain. My desires have become rampant obsessions. Slowly but surely, my sanity drains, and with it shall go my identity, I’m certain. You never wavered from your work, my dear, and for so long I believed you to have no fear. Did you know? I was never as strong as you were. This mask of courage I wore before you was fragile. It has since crumbled, and try as I might, I can’t fight the pounding of my heart.
I miss you.
But don’t fret. Rarely can I feel sorry for myself for more than a moment. If only you were here to hear my stories! I’ve seen so many new faces and gazed out to so many new lands that took my breath away. I ran into an odd little fellow many a time who wasn’t much for conversation, but still they sat with me and listened. I think I’ll miss them most of all. They were the one who put you to rest. I see a certain strength within them that gives me hope for this falling kingdom. We sat together and took in the scenery. Have you been to the Blue Lake? It’s gorgeous.
I wish you were there with us.
I’m sorry. I know you told me not to worry, to keep my head held high. But I cannot. The happiness I feel when I remember our time together is painful. We really grew together as scientists, didn’t we? I was always content with standing in your shadow, letting you do the explaining of concepts I couldn’t dream to wrap my mind around. Oh, how you spoke in such detail. It was like you spoke a different language! I feared that you’d notice my ignorance. Perhaps you did, and you pretended I knew what you were talking about to spare me embarrassment.
Of all the places I’ve traversed, none are as beautiful to me as that laboratory. Seeing you work was like witnessing magic... we had such fun setting up experiments and creating chaotic reactions in our free time. What a mind you have, Monomon. Even the Pale King stood in awe of your accomplishments, as did I. What an honor it was to be mentioned in the same breath as you!
And what an honor you were to this world. Your sacrifice wounded me both times. Sealing yourself away... your love for this kingdom was inspirational. I’m sorry I couldn’t send you off with a smile. I’m sorry your last moments with me weren’t a pleasant goodbye. I had no strength left in me. I begged you not to go. I even felt a bit betrayed that my teacher would leave me. But of course you didn’t. You were always there. You gave yourself for the citizens of Hallownest, and so you gave yourself for me. For that, I’m thankful.
I knew your second sacrifice was imminent. Though I felt more at peace with it, it still stung. You welcomed the end to your slumber. I’m happy that you saw the same potential in my short friend that I did. I trust them to save this kingdom from ruin. I cannot deny that your death has marked the end of my journey. Once you faded from me, all energy deserted me. Time has passed. This night is everlasting, but I yearn for an ending.
You were always in my dreams, my dear Monomon. You were my aspiration, my inspiration, my best friend. I was too nervous to tell you, but I thought of you as even more. I dreamt that our bond could one day go beyond close companions, that our futures would be intertwined as that of lovers. I didn’t want to distract you from your work or dampen our friendship with my feelings. I do regret never confessing. I think that after I’ve seen the world twice over, after I’ve discovered where the rain comes from, after everything I’ve done… that is my dream. Being honest about how I felt.
This dream eats away at me. It burdens me. With my regret, I feel the infection seeping into my mind. Still, it’s thanks to you that I can still be at peace. I am old and weak, and I am getting sick, but I am still happy. That’s really all that matters, no? My nail has seen countless foes that seeked to kill me, and I survived long enough to see you again. I’m truly at peace.
It won’t last long, this serenity. Right now, I think that I’m as strong as I ever will be again. The sorrow and longing that stains my dream festers and grows. Ah well. So be it. I have a moment to take everything in, to remember my life, to think about how much I’ve done. I’m glad to do it in such a calming place. This beautiful lake does wonders for the soul. It’d be a perfect resting place, don’t you think?
Yes, I’ve decided. It’s better for me to end my journey as I am, still sane and at peace. I can swing my nail no longer; it deserves rest as well. What a life I’ve lived! I’ll tell you everything when I see you again.
Monomon, are you proud of me? Did I do an alright job? Did this assistant make for a good warrior? I hope so. I’m happy with myself. I was able to see you off--that’s the greatest honor one could ask for. Wherever I go, I’m sure we’ll be together. I just know it. I can’t wait to see you, my dear!
Wow.
What a beautiful sight this lake is.
Wow.