Chapter Text
February 1978
“Thank you for volunteering to do this, Severus.” You grinned at your student, the two of you sitting at a table in the center of the room.
He quirked a corner of his lip and gave a quick nod.
“Normally I give these tasks to students in detention,” You sighed as you polished another shell, “But lately there just haven’t been any students misbehaving badly enough to warrant a detention, and I can’t postpone this lesson any longer.”
He nodded silently and set down the smooth shell he was working on, grabbing a rough one from the crate.
“I shouldn’t complain that my students haven’t been misbehaving, normally I dislike giving someone a reward for someone else’s punishment, but so be it-” You poured more polish into the cloth and continued the menial task of polishing turtle shells. ‘If only someone invented a spell to do this.’ You thought to yourself, scoffing at your reddened fingertips. “-Oh! Sorry, I’m rambling-”
“It’s okay.” He answered quickly as he glanced with a quirk of his brow, as if he was offended you’d even apologize.
“Thank you again. You can forget about the essay due on Monday. Don’t tell anyone else.” You winked at him. “Twenty points to Slytherin.”
He raised his chin and gave you a conspiratory smirk, “Thank you, Professor.”
You chuckled, “Not a problem, Severus.”
The two of you working diligently through the first crate of bones and shells helped speed along the process; however, it was getting rather late, the candles surrounding you were steadily shrinking and the room was growing comfortably dim.
“Let’s take a break.” You stood up and stretched out your back. “The second box is in that corner, could you bring it to the table? It shouldn’t be as heavy as the first. I’m going to go make some tea. Your choice today.” You spoke as you shuffled off, opposite the direction of the box.
“Green.” He announced, cracking each knuckle individually as he stood up to grab the box.
You riffled through the cabinets and put the green tea canister on the make-shift counter. “Could you open it and see if it’s the right one, love?” You asked him. He hummed in response. You heard him shuffling through crates and boxes in the far corner.
It happened nearly all at once. The whistle of the kettle set it off, and then soon after was the most gut-wrenching growl you could ever hear. It wasn’t the growl of an ordinary stray mutt that found itself on the grounds. Right after, you heard Severus scream bloody murder.
You whipped your head around and saw a werewolf standing outside of the crate and Severus frozen in place. You rushed to him, bounding across the array of turtle shells and animal bones on the wooden floor. As soon as you pointed your wand to fight the werewolf, it took on an all-too-familiar form that made all of the blood in your body, just on fire a moment ago, turn cold as ice. Quickly putting two and two together you vanished the boggart, shouting “Riddikulus!” at the top of your lungs. It turned into an innocent stuffed animal, before vanishing altogether.
You finally let out a breath and closed your eyes. For a moment, everything was silent. You turned around to see Severus behind you. You closed your mouth as soon as you saw the tears streaming down his face. You reached out to touch his shoulder.
“Sev-” You started, only to be cut off by a strangled sob as he grappled onto your shawl as if his life depended on it, collapsing onto the floor in a heap of robes. You followed shortly thereafter, kneeling and holding him.
“Severus, what’s wrong?” You asked softly, as you stroked his hair. He responded only in louder sobs as the tears soaked through your robes. ‘That was the wrong approach,’ You chided yourself in your head. You breathed in slowly and tried again, “Shhh, it’s alright. It’s gone now. You’ll never see it again.” You whispered into his hair, rubbing his back.
He was hiccuping and struggling for air, but made no move to let go and try to breathe in. You grabbed his shoulders firmly and pushed him away slightly, so you could look at him.
“Hey, hey- look at me-” You repeated softly until he stared at you. “Thank you, lovely. Follow my breathing.” You put a hand on his chest and one between his shoulder blades, and sat up on your knees, straightening your back self-consciously. You took a long, slow breath through your nose and waited for him to do the same. You held it for a moment, before exhaling through your mouth slowly. He did the same. “Excellent job, just like that. Breath with me.” You praised him. He gave a desperate nod, and you two continued the same breathing pattern before he finally managed to calm himself down. You smiled at him and stroked his cheek briefly before pulling him into a much less desperate hug this time.
“You’re alright, you’re alright.” You cooed into his shoulder. “You did such a great job.” You praised, rubbing his shoulder blades.
His tears returned, but this time without the hungry gulps of air. His hair tickled your nose and he held onto you tighter.
Focusing on his now quiet breaths, you almost forgot about the kettle until you heard it bubble and boil over. You fought your natural urge to run over and take it off of the heat, as you didn’t want to startle Severus anymore than he already had been. You figured he was more important than some boiled water, right now. His grip on you loosened and he started furiously rubbing at his red eyes with the sleeve of his robes. You gently took his hands and shook your head. You summoned a handkerchief from your robes and handed it to him. He nodded his thanks, with a loud sniffle accompanied. Smiling in response, you gave his hair a quick stroke before standing from the floor and walking over to the mess of boiling water continuing to spit out of the kettle.
With a quick flick of your wand, it was cleared up and the green tea was in the preferred cups. Last week you had seen a teacup in Diagon Alley that made you think of Severus, and since he often joined you after classes, you figured he should have a teacup that reminds him he is always welcome. The teacup was black, with several white roses and green snakes curling around the mug like vapor curls out of the steaming drink. Every day since then, you’ve served him tea in that cup, on a matching saucer. Turning around, you saw him sitting at the table again. Handing him his cup, full of the tea he chose, he gave a little smile and he thanked you quietly.
He was shivering, even the hot tea did not help sate it. You took off your shawl and wrapped it around his shoulders. He curled into it immediately and covered it around himself like saran wrap. The two of you sat in silence, sipping tea.
“Let’s stop for tonight.” You said, as your tea was finished. You looked at the clock. “Oh, Severus, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to keep you after curfew.”
Severus looked at the clock, also a bit surprised. He opened his mouth to say something but then shut it again.
“Here, I’ll walk you back in case Filch finds you.” You announced, standing up and putting the porcelain cups away.
You turned around and expected Severus to follow you, only to see that he wasn’t. He was sitting at the table, covered in your shawl, hunched over, and trembling still. He was staring at you, brows knit. You walked back to the table. “Severus? What’s the matter?”
He shook his head softly. You focused on the strands of his hair peeking out of the shawl. “I-” He started, before closing his mouth. He looked down at his lap, biting his lips, and continuing to shake his head. The strands of hair caught outside of the shawl waved around with his head. “No.” He stated, plainly.
“No… to what?” You tilted your head.
“I can’t go to my dorm… I can’t-” He bit his lip so hard it turned white. He got smaller, his shoulders rounded and he hid in the shawl. “I don’t-” He released his lip, the white faded quickly and turned into a deep sanguine.
You kneeled before him, and held out your hand. He tentatively released his grip on the shawl and gave you one of his hands. You took it in both of yours, rubbing his bruised and scarred knuckles with your thumbs. You sighed softly, “You don’t want to go back to your dorm?”
He shook his head.
“Would you be against sleeping in my office?”
He shook his head and let out a quiet ‘please.’
“Alright.” You gave a quick nod and patted his hand, releasing it. You stood up and gave him your arm to stand. He quickly took it, but let it go as soon as he found balance and stood up.
After a relatively quiet walk to your office, you opened the door to the scent of the day: pumpkin spice, cinnamon, and nutmeg. You held open the door for Snape. The candles lit up every corner and inch of the room as the both of you waltzed in and incense started to burn. The pit of pillows, blankets, and cushions to the side of your office had to be the coziest spot in the entire castle, and it’s a little embarrassing to admit how many times you collapsed on the floor there instead of making it to your actual bed in your chambers. You closed the door with a bit too much force, startling Severus and the odds and ends - not all related to divination - that decorate your shelf, as both of the aforementioned victims jumped and shook slightly. Severus whipped around to face you, with wide eyes that resembled a doe.
“Oh, sorry darling, I didn’t mean to slam the door.” You apologized, scolding yourself in your head. He released a breath and nodded in reassurance, rolling his shoulders back.
You went around the room and picked up some extra quilts that were sprawled on the butterscotch-colored desk chair and the mulberry-colored couch behind it.
He had taken off his robe and folded it in his hands, but kept your shawl on.
“Here love, you can sleep in the pit. It’s more comfortable than that old couch anyways.” You took his robes from him and placed them on a seldom-bare spot on your cluttered desk. He was still in his school uniform and shoes.
“Do you want to get some night clothes from your dorm? I can walk with you there.”
He shook his head.
“Alright, whatever you prefer. I just want you to feel comfortable.”
He nodded his thanks and toed off his shoes before climbing into the pit, cocooning himself in your shawl amongst all of the other quilts, covers, pillows, and soft things.
You waved your wand and started a fire in the hearth. You left for a moment and set a cup of tea and a glass of water down near the pit. Extinguishing the other candles around the room, you kneeled next to his head, barely poking out of the many blankets, and stroked his hair for a moment. He wordlessly leaned into your touch.
“I’ll come back to wake you in the morning before breakfast. Need anything before I go?” You spoke softly. His head shot up out of the covers, pillows, and cushions falling around him as if he emerged out of a pool of water.
“Don’t go!” He latched onto your arm with strength rivaling a serpent’s maw.
“You don’t want to be alone tonight?” You asked.
He shook his head, cheeks flushed red. Your cheeks matched his. He relinquished his hold. A million thoughts ran a million miles per hour through your head. You desperately wanted to say ‘no this is too inappropriate-’ but you found yourself saying the word, “okay” before your mind even registered what was happening.
You took a blanket from the pit and a pillow that had been kicked to the side and as you went to stand up and move to the couch, Severus saw where you were headed and moved with the speed of a striking viper and grabbed your ankle as you walked away. You let out a quick shriek and lost your balance for just a moment, before looking down and seeing Severus staring up at you with those dark, frantic doe eyes again.
“What’s the matter, lovely?” You questioned, clutching at your racing heartbeat under your chest.
He licked his lips and blinked a few times. “Please,” His voice was so quiet, you could hardly hear it over the crackling from the fire. His eyes glittered before drowning in tears. “Hold me,” The tears ran down his face and he held your ankle even tighter. “Like how you,” He sniffled, “did in the classroom.”
You sighed. “Alright, darling.” Your brain screamed at you for being an idiot.
He finally let go of your ankle and held up the blankets for you to crawl in. You murmured a quick spell to lock the door, and then kicked off your boots and crawled into the cocoon, facing Severus. He immediately got closer and tucked his nose into your collarbone. He didn’t grab you, but he was still gripping the shawl that smelled strongly of you and wrapped around him snugly. You put an arm underneath him and pulled him closer. He sighed in relief. You stroked his cheekbone, wiping his tears with your thumb.
After his tears stopped falling, you focused on the crackling of the fire and moved to run your fingers through his hair instead. His hair was full of knots so you resorted to just scratching his scalp lightly instead. He sighed again, pushing his face as close as possible to your neck.
“Thank you,” He breathed lightly, smiling softly against your neck.
“Of course, darling,” You murmured, sleepily. You stared at how the orange glow of the fire formed a halo around Severus’s black hair and felt him smile and breathe out softly against your skin. “Get some rest, lovely. I’ll be right here.” Without any second thought, you pressed a soft kiss to Severus’s forehead and fell asleep to the feeling of a giggle vibrating across on your neck and the sound of the fire crackling in front of you.