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Soobin was in the middle of a final when he got the call. His phone went off, causing every single pair of eyes to swivel his way. His professor lifted her head and glared at him, opening her mouth to chastise him no doubt, before he beat her to it, grabbing her phone and silencing it. “Sorry! I’m really sorry, I thought it was silenced,” he rushed, quickly locking his phone without even checking to see who it was. His professor pursed her lips, before returning to her stack of papers. Soobin exhaled, shaking his hair out a bit before he returned his focus to the questions in front of him.
Comparative Contextual Theology was going to kick his ass. He was in his final year of university, so close to his degree in history and one step closer to graduate school. He could almost taste it. He puffed out a few breaths, before picking up his pencil and going to write his answers down. He got halfway through the first sentence when his phone went off again, and this time his professor didn’t wait. “Soobin-ssi! Do you need to step out for a moment?” she sneered, eyes sharp. Soobin gulped, before grabbing his phone, turning his test over. “Can I actually? I think it might be an emergency,” he said.
His professor blinked at him, before nodding permission. He bowed, before getting up and walking out into the hallway. Once the door closed quietly behind him, he pulled his phone out. He checked his missed calls, and saw that Yeonjun had actually tried calling him four times. His ringer was set to go off he got more than two calls in a row, and he felt his heart drop a little as he instantly called his boyfriend back. He tried not to let his brain get ahead of him, but he could already feel the anxiety trickling up his spine, and his breath coming in shorter gasps. Yeonjun knew he had a test today, they had specifically talked about it that morning before he left for practice.
When Beomgyu answered for him, Soobin knew something was terribly wrong. His entire body felt as if it had been doused in ice water, and his throat dried up. “’Gyu? What’s going on?” he asked slowly, his heart pounding. Beomgyu hesitated on the line, and Soobin clutched his phone tighter. “Beomgyu!” he said desperately. His palms were sweating, and any hope of finishing his test flew out the door with Beomgyu’s silence. “He collapsed again, hyung,” he said, his voice so small Soobin strained to hear. But he did hear, and when the words registered he wanted to collapse too. He heard Beomgyu give him the address to the hospital and Soobin could barely even hang up, his hands were shaking so badly.
He stumbled back into the classroom, and his face must have conveyed how he was feeling because his professor didn’t even look angry, she just looked worried. The other students looked at him, and mirrored her concern. Soobin swallowed, going to his desk, trying to organise his thoughts as he spoke. “C-Can I please be excused? M-my boyfriend is in the h-hospital,” he managed, voice breaking. His professor nodded, standing up and going over to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Go, don’t worry about your test, we can discuss it later,” she said, voice much kinder than before. Soobin nodded, bowing only halfway, before picking up his backpack and rushing out of the room.
His body remembered what his brain couldn’t, and before he knew it he was outside of the too-familiar hospital. He thought they were past this, he thought they had beat it, and yet here he was again. Somehow, it never got easier. He couldn’t imagine how Yeonjun was feeling. He raced inside, going straight to the front desk. A few nurses stood in front of the computers, and he gripped the counter as he got their attention. “I’m here for Choi Y-Yeonjun,” he stuttered, the phrase way too comfortable on his tongue. One of the nurses raised a brow, before checking his status. Soobin could tell by her expression what she was going to say, so he cut her off before she could. Seemed to be the theme for the day. “I’m his boyfriend, and his only f-family, so please,” he said.
The nurse hesitated, before nodding. Soobin was prepared for a fight, but he was glad he didn’t have to. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep from just breaking past the security doors if that’s what it took. It took all of his focus not to run down the hallway, but he kept his strides short as he followed the nurse. She stopped after a few seconds, and gestured to the door marked 351. His last room had been 299. Soobin didn’t know why he remembered that so well. He couldn’t even spare a second to thank the nurse, and instead went straight to the door. He opened it, and the sight before him would be burned into his brain forever.
Yeonjun, sitting on the bed hooked up to so many machines, and looking so small. His skin was pale, and his blonde hair was tucked under the beanie he always wore to his practices. He had an IV sprouting out of his hand, as well as heart monitors taped to his chest. He was awake, which was a good sign, and talking quietly to Beomgyu, who sat in the chair next to his bed. They both looked over when Soobin burst in, and Beomgyu stood up. Yeonjun’s face morphed, expression shifting to one of gentle reassurance. He smiled softly, and Soobin dropped his backpack on the floor and went straight to him.
Yeonjun lifted his hands toward him as he approached, still smiling gently, and Soobin swallowed his tears. He was not going to cry. He minded the wires and tubes as he took Yeonjun’s taped up hand in his. Yeonjun lifted his other hand that wasn’t attached to anything and rested it on Soobin’s cheek, thumb stroking his cheekbone. Soobin placed his own hand over Yeonjun’s, and looked at his boyfriend, really looked. “I’m okay, sweetheart,” Yeonjun said, still smiling a bit. Soobin swallowed, unable to break the gaze, and Yeonjun just kept stroking his cheek.
“Is it b-back?” he asked, voice betraying him. It was so stupid, he wasn’t the one in the bed, he shouldn’t be the one sounding so scared. Yeonjun weakly squeezed Soobin’s fingers with his other hand, and slid the hand on his cheek to his ear, caressing it. “They’re running the tests now,” he said. Which wasn’t exactly what Soobin wanted to hear, but it was better than a yes, so he only nodded, leaning forward and connecting their lips. Yeonjun kissed him back, before Soobin pulled away and exhaled, standing up straight. He kept hand in Yeonjun’s, but looked at Beomgyu, who was still standing. “What happened?” he asked. Beomgyu looked at Yeonjun, before shaking his head. “We don’t really know, we were just practicing our footwork, and then I saw hyung go super pale, and then he was on the floor,” he explained.
Soobin turned to Yeonjun, who shrugged his shoulders, carefully leaning back against the pillows. Soobin let go of his hand only to move to the chair that Beomgyu had vacated. The younger perched himself on the armrest, and put a comforting arm around Soobin’s shoulders as he settled and leaned forward, gathering Yeonjun’s hand up again in both of his own this time. “Do you remember it, hyung?” Soobin asked. Yeonjun shook his head, pushing his lip out as he did. Soobin didn’t like that one bit, but seeing that his boyfriend seemed to be okay at that moment had calmed his anxiety and slowed his heart a bit.
He turned to look at Beomgyu, and leaned his head on his shoulder for a second. “Thanks for calling, ‘Gyu,” he murmured. Beomgyu only ruffled his hair, before squeezing his shoulders tighter. Soobin settled his gaze back on Yeonjun, who rested his cheek against the pillows. “How do you feel?” he asked quietly. Yeonjun exhaled, scrunching his nose a bit. “Just tired, really,” he answered. Soobin could see it too, in the way the older’s eyes fluttered every few seconds, and how his hand rested in Soobin’s, instead of holding Soobin’s hand back. The trio remained quiet for a while, Soobin and Yeonjun studying each other’s faces, while Beomgyu texted their other friends to let them know what had happened, and that he would keep them updated.
“Hyuka and Taehyunnie are going to come by after classes let out,” he informed. Yeonjun only smiled and hummed a little, and Soobin moved a bit closer, readjusting his hold on the boy’s hand. It was only a bit later that the familiar face of Yeonjun’s oncologist walked in. He looked exactly the same as two years ago, and he still had the exact same poker face. Soobin could quite literally never predict what news he was going to give, and he didn’t know if he liked that or not. His body had the same reaction as always, heart speeding up and breath coming faster. He sat up, holding Yeonjun’s hand tighter. Yeonjun himself turned his face away from Soobin’s to look at the doctor, who came and sat on the end of the bed.
“I have your results, Yeonjun-ssi,” he said, voice smooth. Soobin swallowed, his eyes wide, and he felt Beomgyu tense up behind him. “You’re still in remission,”. Almost immediately, the air around all of them deflated and Soobin let out the biggest sigh of relief, gasping a few times, before smiling, a few tears dripping down his cheeks. He looked at Yeonjun, who was smiling weakly too, nodding a few times. He turned to Soobin then, reaching over and touching his cheek for a moment. Beomgyu had let out an actual relieved groan, and slumped against Soobin, hugging him. The doctor smiled warmly, before flipping through his chart. “Your insulin levels were low, which explains the fainting,” he began to explain.
All three of them listened closely as he told them that Yeonjun most likely had developed type one diabetes as a side effect of the cancer, and that while it was going to be a big adjustment, he would be okay. “We’ve already put in an order for some insulin shots and emergency pens, which should be here in a few days, but until then we’re going to keep you for observation,” he said. Yeonjun nodded along, and so did Soobin, and when the doctor left after giving Yeonjun an encouraging, Soobin lifted his hand and carefully kissed his wrist. “You’re okay, hyung,” he whispered.
Beomgyu had gotten Kai’s text that they were in the waiting room, and he left to go retrieve them. In his absence, Yeonjun weakly tugged on Soobin’s hand. “Come sit up here with me,” he said. Soobin blushed a little, before somehow managed to fit his long legs next to Yeonjun’s, and he leaned against the lumpy mattress. Yeonjun slowly twisted so he could lean half of his body against Soobin’s chest, his head resting on his shoulder. Soobin slung his arm around Yeonjun’s shoulders, and kept him safe and secure in his embrace. “I’m so fucking glad it’s not back,” Soobin whispered, a bit of his fear leaking into his tone. Yeonjun tilted his head up to kiss Soobin’s jaw, nuzzling his neck a bit. “Me too,” he replied.
Both of them knew that diabetes still wasn’t a great diagnosis, but they had dealt with worse and survived worse, and together they would learn to manage it. Yeonjun was so strong, so incredibly strong, and Soobin held him a bit closer, kissing his temple. Yeonjun managed to stay awake just long enough to say hello to Kai and Taehyun when they arrived, but then he quickly fell asleep, small puffs of breath hitting Soobin’s in even intervals.
When they arrived home three days later, Soobin put their dirty laundry in the washer and then helped Yeonjun into their room. The boy was still weak, and his ankle was sore from his fall, plus Soobin just liked taking care of him. Once he was settled with his favourite blanket draped over him, he pecked his lips, and went into the kitchen to make them some dinner. After they ate, Soobin opened the little insulin shot, and carefully read the instructions.
Yeonjun read them too, their faces close together, and then Soobin took a deep breath. “Alright, take your pants off,” he said. Yeonjun smirked, and Soobin rolled his eyes, moving away so that he could carefully unwrap the syringe without accidentally poking himself. He heard Yeonjun push his sweats down, exposing the soft skin of his thigh. Soobin pushed his lips together as he followed the instructions and then set the syringe down on the nightstand for a moment, keeping the cap on the needle. He took the little folded alcohol wipe and wiped the spot on Yeonjun’s thigh that he would poke. “Aish, that’s cold,” the boy hissed. Soobin giggled, before disposing of the wipe and grabbing the syringe.
He double checked the instructions to make sure he was doing it right, before he uncapped it, and snapped off the lock around the plunger. He took a deep breath, before looking at Yeonjun. “You ready?” he asked again. Yeonjun smiled, before nodding. Soobin nodded back, before holding Yeonjun’s thigh steady with one hand, and then angling the needle just right. He didn’t like that it was going to hurt the older, but he couldn’t do anything about that, so he knew it was best to just get it over with. He watched as the needle broke the skin, and once it was fully inserted he pressed down on the plunger until there was nothing left. He felt Yeonjun’s hand grip his shoulder a bit harder and a quiet hiss leave his lips, but other than that he remained still and calm.
Soobin carefully pulled the needle out then, and tossed it in the trash. He grabbed a few sterile wipes and pressed them over the little spot of blood, and then it was all over. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Yeonjun’s cheek, and the boy blushed, pulling his sweats up. Soobin got up to put the box of syringes away, and then grabbed his computer, deciding to email his professors. He relaxed back next to Yeonjun, who leaned his head on his shoulder, watching him type.
After the emails were sent, Soobin turned to look at Yeonjun, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “I love you,” he murmured. Yeonjun blushed, before moving the computer off of Soobin’s thighs and moving into his lap. Soobin helped him, carefully lifting him and settling him over his thighs, making sure not to press against the injection site. The older rested his hands on Soobin’s chest, lightly fisting his sweater, a content smile on his pretty face. “Thank you for staying with me through everything,” he breathed. Soobin’s face fell a little at the thought of Yeonjun going through what he had all by himself. Soobin met him before his diagnosis and the thought of leaving never even once crossed his mind.
He locked his arms around Yeonjun’s waist, and looked up at him, lips parted slightly. “I’m not going anywhere, hyung, ever,” he replied. Yeonjun stared at him for a moment, swallowing, before he closed the distance and kissed him. Soobin’s eyes fell shut, and the only noise in the room was the quiet wet connections of their lips.
They fell asleep wrapped around each other, and when they woke up, sunlight was streaming through their windows, and Soobin knew Yeonjun’s doctor was right. They were going to be okay.