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Merrin hadn’t decided whether she liked Kashyyyk. She knew, however, that she liked spending time with Cal, so when he told her that he wanted to show her something near the Shadowlands, she had agreed to take an afternoon hike with him. It had been a few weeks since they had retrieved the holocron from the Fortress Inquisitorius, and although they had developed a solid comradery, there was still some kind of tension between them, as though they had left some things unsaid.
She wasn’t thinking about that now, however. All she could think about was how sweaty she was. The heat and humidity of Kashyyyk made her home planet Dathomir seem arid by comparison. Cal swung his lightsaber for what seemed like the thousandth time, slashing through yet another net of thick vines.
“We’re almost there, I promise,” he said, giving her an apologetic glance. Twice a giant Slyyyg had tried to charge them, and although the creature had been rather easy to evade, its acid vomit had burned through Merrin’s boots. She hadn’t complained much, it was obvious she was getting worn out.
“One more,” he said as he leapt easily on top of a massive tree stump, and held his hand out to help Merrin up as well. She was hit with a wave of cool mist, and saw they were standing on the edge of a circular clearing, where a huge waterfall cascaded down into a crystal clear pool. Velvety green moss covered the earth around the pool, and there were glowing flecks of light dancing beneath the surface of the water, creating bright reflections on the canopy of leaves above them.
“It’s beautiful,” Merrin said, before she could think. What an obvious thing to say. Beauty was only the beginning. As they entered into the space, sunbeams seemed to melt away the mugginess of the air, and Merrin took a deep breath, the most refreshed she had felt all day. There was something ethereal about the circular clearing. It reminded her of one of the holy sites of the Nightsisters back on Dathomir, the life-giving water that imbued their clan with Magick.
“I usually come here when I want to be alone,” Cal said quietly. Merrin turned to him and saw that he was gazing at her the way she had been looking at the waterfall only a moment ago. Overwhelming admiration. Her stomach fluttered.
“I’m glad you decided not to be, this time,” she said.
“I’ve definitely spent enough time alone. I was taught that Jedi are peacekeepers who spend their lives among people, helping those who need it. I need to get back to that.”
Merrin knelt down to feel touch the glassy surface of the pool, watching a school of tiny glowing fish swirl around her fingertips, taking tiny nibbles at her white skin. She laughed.
Cal sat down on a patch of moss, stretched his arms over his head and sighed contentedly. BD-1 hopped off his back and began scurrying around the clearing, scanning various plants. He even jumped in the water and scanned the fish.
Cal took out the lunch that Greez had packed for them and offered some dried Jogan Fruit to Merrin.
“You were right about this place,” Merrin said as they ate. “I can feel its power. What you call the Force. Everything is balanced here. That’s why we feel so at peace.” In fact, this was the most relaxed she had ever seen Cal. He had a hint of a smile on his face
He nodded. “The living Force is strong in nature no matter what planet you’re on, and Kashyyyk has more plants and animals than almost any planet I’ve ever seen, which is why I like to come here so often. It’s been… healing for me.”
Merrin closed her eyes, sensing the pulse of the Force flowing through every vine and leaf, churning in the water, even buzzing in the misty air. She could sense Cal too, a focal point in the swirling patterns of energy. The usual heaviness he carried with him seemed to be lifting. She watched him idly use the Force to send gentle ripples through the water, making the pattern of sunlight reflected on the canopy above them dance.
"When I was living in hiding on Bracca,” Cal said, “I couldn't use the Force at all. It was way too dangerous. I had to watch a lot of accidents happen, see a lot of my friends get injured or killed and know that I could do something about it but I wouldn't. It feels strange to be using the Force so regularly now."
Merrin frowned. "I can't imagine what it would be like to cut myself off from my Magick. It would be like losing not only myself, but all my fallen sisters as well. My entire culture. I think I would rather die."
Cal looked intently at a leafy plant by his feet.
"I don't really know what kept me going sometimes," he admitted. "I wasn't holding out hope that something like this would happen, that I would be able to get that part of myself back. To find some of the things that I had lost.”
Merrin nodded. “And how are you healing physically? From your injury?”
Cal subconsciously pressed a hand into his side. “I think your Magick had done its work,” he said. “I’ve been doing just fine. Barely feel anything. Thank you.”
She smiled, but it faded as she turned her head at a sudden clicking sound coming from the trees.
“Probably a wyyyschokk,” Cal observed, “but it sounds far enough away. Probably won’t bother us.” Merrin shook her head and sighed.
“If it does, I’m sure we will handle it,” she said, crossing her arm over him to reach for his lightsaber. “Maybe you’ll let me use this?”
He caught her wrist, narrowing his eyes. “You don’t know how to use it. You have to be trained properly, or you could really get hurt. Besides,” he said, “it’s a Jedi’s weapon.”
Merrin retracted her hand, realizing her miscalculation. Just because he had handed her his lightsaber back on Dathomir did not mean that she was free to borrow it. She pursed her lips, but Cal’s gaze softened quickly.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that this lightsaber is a lot more than just a weapon to me. It’s my connection to my master. Sometimes when I touch it, I can feel some of his wisdom and strength. I can hear his voice, and know his thoughts. I know it’s strange, but he’s sort of been guiding me.”
Merrin blinked. “I don’t think that’s strange at all. Cere told me about your abilities. You touch objects and see a sort of echo from the past. It sounds similar to some of the magick that Mother could do.”
“Still,” she added after a moment, “I would be interested in learning to use a lightsaber. It seems like a useful weapon.”
Cal chuckled. “It can be, I suppose. Useful.”
They sat for a long time enjoying the sound of rushing water. Cal had BD show them maps of the jungle, and information about some of the plants and animals they had seen along the way. After what must have been an hour of resting and talking, Cal stood up and pulled off his poncho. Then he started to unzip his jumpsuit.
“What are you doing?” Merrin asked, eyes widening.
“I’m going for a swim. It’s perfectly safe. I’ve done it before,” he said, peeling off his clothes until he had nothing left on but a pair of gray boxers. He gave Merrin a grin. “Care to join me?”
Merrin tried not to stare. She had caught glimpses of him before, when he was just getting out of bed in the morning, or re-bandaging the lightsaber wound in his side, but she had never seen this much skin. His shoulders, his chest, his legs… she wanted to run her hands over every inch of him. She bit her lip and her train of thought returned to his question.
She considered her own tunic, which was sweaty, and sticking to her skin. She only hesitated for a moment before nodding her head and following suit. Cal turned his back to her as she pulled off her tunic and leggings, leaving on only her black bra and underwear.
To her surprise, he headed off into the forest and disappeared behind some trees.
“Where are you going?” she called after him, but he didn’t answer. A few moments later she heard him let out a whoop. He swung out of the forest on a vine, did a triple somersault in the air above the pool, and landed in the water with a huge splash. Merrin laughed and applauded him. BD-1 beeped in approval as well. She watched the muscles on his shoulders and back ripple as he swam over to them. The water had washed away the thin layer of dirt that usually coated his arms and face and she could see every freckle. His face turned red as he eyed Merrin. She couldn’t help but feel proud at the way she made him blush.
“Come on in!” he said.
“Well, since you made such an entrance, I should make one too,” she said, and vanished in a flash of green magick.
Cal looked around to see where she would reappear. Even when he was prepared for Merrin to use her Magick, it always caught him off guard. He could never sense it the way he could sense another Jedi using the Force.
All was quiet for a moment as he tread water. Then he spotted her, standing at the top of the waterfall, about ten meters above the pool. She stood with one hand on her hip until she was sure he was watching, and then dove gracefully into the pool with a splash.
Merrin resurfaced, and Cal’s heart seemed to soar when he heard her laughing. She tucked a strand of wet, silvery hair behind her ear and back-stroked lazily toward him.
“I’ll race you across the pool,” Cal said.
“You sure you can handle it? I don’t want you to re-injure yourself,” she questioned.
Cal shook his head vehemently. “I’m totally fine, I promise.”
She eyed him carefully. “Alright,” she agreed.
“Ready, go!”
They both took off toward the far side of the pool, practiced strokes propelling them through the water. Merrin switched to a backstroke briefly, watching Cal reach the edge just a moment after she did.
“Let’s go again,” he said, pushing his hair out of his face.
Merrin raised an eyebrow. “Sure, but don’t push yourself too hard. I can’t carry you all the way back to the Mantis, you know.”
They raced a few more times, Cal getting a little closer with each race, until he did eventually beat her to the other side. “I’m getting tired, that’s probably why you won,” she teased.
“Sure, whatever you say.” He took a few moments to catch his breath, then dove under the water. He lost himself in the quiet, hearing only the white noise of the waterfall. Cal closed his eyes and focused on nothing but his own heartbeat.
When Cal didn’t resurface after a few moments, Merrin went under and approached him curiously. He appeared to be meditating at the bottom of the pool, perfectly still, hands buried in the pond weeds. She remembered the fear she had felt the last time she had seen him like this. Had almost drowned trying to save Cere from the Fortress Inquisitorius. She had found him floating limply, the color drained from his face, barely alive. A sharp stab of panic hit her, and before Merrin knew what she was doing, she had grabbed Cal by his arm and hauled him up to the surface.
Cal didn’t resist. Her grasp was firm and her intent was clear, so he let her drag him up and over to a part of the pool where they could stand with their heads above water. When she finally stopped, he tried to discern the look on her face. Determination for certain, but was that fear? Worry? It wasn’t an emotion she had shown him before.
“Merrin? Are you okay?” Her hands tightened on his shoulders, as though she thought he would slip away. She moved one hand to touch the scar from the lightsaber wound the Sith Lord had given him. Without words, Cal understood what Merrin was remembering.
“It’s okay, I’m fine. I’m right here,” he told her. Merrin loosened her grip on him and lowered her gaze.
“I know,” she said. “Sorry, I…”
“I’ll always be here for you, Merrin.” Cal’s words slipped out before he could think. The promise was impulsive and fatally flawed, but it felt like the truth at that moment. Her gaze flicked back up to him, her warm brown eyes studying him closely. She gave him a woeful smile, bringing one hand up out of the water to the side of his face.
Bathed in the strong Living Force of the pool, Cal could not see where his own strong feelings ended and Merrin’s began. Was she as attracted to him as he was to her? He wasn’t sure which of them moved in until they were pressed against each other, which of them leaned in until their lips touched. Their kiss was brief, but when he pulled back, Cal found himself breathing hard. He had an arm looped around Merrin’s waist and he ran his fingers over the skin of her back, the sensation muted by the water. He watched her dark lips curve into a smile as she gazed up at him.
“Booo-weeep!!” BD-1’s beep of distress abruptly shook Cal and Merrin from their trance. A screeching Tach monkey was carrying Cal’s orange poncho off into the forest, with BD-1 chasing after it.
“Hey!” Cal called after his friend, swiftly reaching the edge of the pool and jumping out to follow the Tach and droid. He managed to catch up to them and swiftly retrieve the poncho before BD-1 could get into a full-on brawl with the animal.
“BD, we’ve talked about this,” he scolded. “Leave the fighting to me, alright?”
BD-1 beeped his protests all the way back to the clearing, where Merrin was already pulling her clothes back on. Cal tried not to show too much disappointment as he reluctantly retrieved his own clothes and followed her lead. Just like that, the moment was over. That was how it always seemed to be with Merrin. She was always playing it cool, and even with the Force, it was hard to read her feelings.
“We better get moving if we want to return to the Mantis before dark,” Merrin observed. Cal gave her one of his familiar half smiles. “I think I’ve got that covered. We’re going to fly back.”
“You can fly?” Merrin asked seriously.
Cal laughed. “No, but I know someone who can.” He whistled two loud notes into the trees and above the waterfall emerged a gigantic white bird with a thick skull plate. It bent its neck down to Cal, Merrin, and BD-1 and emitted a low squawk.
Cal climbed easily onto the back of the massive creature. He took Merrin’s hand and pulled her up behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly as the Shyyyo Bird took flight.