Archive of Our Own

"You like that, don't you?"

A simple sentence. A simple question that was burned in the back of Mina's mind since late junior high. The phrase and menacing voice didn't care where Mina was. It always slithered out of the hellish abyss she tried to shove it into and ruined any happiness she was holding onto at the moment.

It was like a hot pepper. An accidental rub of the eye, and now she was in pain. So much fucking pain. She didn't even remember how or when she metaphorically rubbed her eye, but the pain was getting worse by the second. Blinking did nothing, rubbing made it worse. Suddenly, she was crying.

She was never sure if it was from the pain, or if her body was trying to flush out the memories. Flush it out like it would with hot pepper in the eyes.

The only difference was that peppers burned Mina. Memories rotted her.

Disgusting. Tainted. Rotting. Infected. Impure. Decayed.

Violated.

Mina felt violated. It was a gross, decaying feeling in her gut. It didn't take long to spread. Crawling through her stomach, down her legs, into her lungs, scratching her waist, pooling in her mouth, rotting her neck, fraying her hair, ripping apart her chest.

How did she end up like this? Another nightmare over something that she begged to be long forgotten?

It was a junior high relationship. She was in his last year of junior high, he was in his first year of high school. Her brother knew him from the volleyball team.

It was only natural that they'd meet when she'd wait for her brother to get done with practice so they could go home. It started small. They had a couple of common interests. Shows, music, console preferences. While Tadao, Mina's older brother, got everything packed up, the two of them would talk and laugh and get to know each other better.

One day, the boy brought cards and began showing her cool card tricks he could do. Mina watched closely and was amazed by the small tricks. She didn't care that the rest of the team gave awkward glances as if they already knew something was off because that boy was talking to Tadao's little sister.

She should have.

Mina told him about her dreams to go to UA and be a pro hero. How her quirk was good but she still needed to work hard. She showed off her strength and her quirk when the others weren't looking, all with a smile on her face.

He told her more about his interests and where he wanted to go to college. He was into anything computers. He also was a big fan of anime, which was a plus in her eyes. He boasted having his name on the leader board on the Dance Dance Revolution game at the nearby arcade. Mina rarely played, but with her dancing abilities, she was sure she could do it well.

Maybe her worst decision in the entire affair was giving him her phone number when he asked. She ignored the glances from the team members who happened to overhear.

Because this boy was kind to her. He shared the same interests, was funny, and showed interest in her. A match made in heaven? Far from it, her gut would tell her. The small voice of doubt that echoed in the back of her mind was drowned out by the excitement of an entirely new world.

He called her that night. The two talked for hours about anything and everything. Mina couldn't remember ever laughing and smiling that much over a phone call. Everything he said seemed perfectly executed and great to listen to. He was a flirt for sure. Slipping in little compliments about her hair, her eyes, her quirk. All the little things that made the girl smile.

He'd give compliments about her laugh, her smile, her body, her personality, her ideas, her outgoing nature. Little things. The little, little signs that he slipped in from the very beginning in the middle of something normal. Maybe if she would've paid closer attention, she wouldn't feel so disgusting now.

Eventually, the two made plans to hang out. They went over to his house and watched a movie. They talked and laughed and pushed and punched each other jovially.

Mina can't watch that movie anymore without wanting to vomit.

One hang out turned to two. Two to three. Three to a date.

Mina couldn't remember what the date was. Maybe it was at his house? The local coffee shop? Just walking around? She would give anything to remember the first date rather than what she remembered now.

She didn't even remember how he asked her to be his girlfriend. She must've said yes, they did date after all. She was pretty sure it was on a phone call. But any good memory of him was so hazy as if her mind was trying to get rid of any evidence that the relationship wasn't doomed from the start.

The new relationship quickly turned to two months. Somewhere around that time, it began to take a swan dive.

Mina didn't even know how exactly it all happened. All she knew was that it wasn't always like how it ended. He used to be sweet, caring, considerate. He'd always ask permission before moving his hands anywhere.

And one day he just stopped.

Consent was a distant memory.

Mina remembered the first time it happened vividly. Just sitting on the couch, watching a movie. He leaned over and began kissing her neck. She playfully shoved him, complaining that she was invested in the movie.

He didn't care. He began kissing her and looming over her. She remembered how she felt her heartbeat in her ears. How she kept deathly still even though she felt her core shake. He was still kissing her, though at that point she stopped kissing back. She felt him grind against her, making her feel nothing but discomfort and nausea. Too close, too intimate, too much.

Mina wanted to push him away. But she couldn't. She was paralyzed with fear. She felt weak, powerless.

He was stronger than her no doubt. She would like to think that if she yelled "Stop. No," right then, he would have backed away. Surely he would. He loved her, right?

He never said it. She respected that. It was a personal decision that he confided in her about. He never said "I love you," throughout their five-month relationship. Mina was fine with that. He said it in other ways.

"You're so good"
"You have such a nice ass"
"You're so hot"
"There's nothing wrong with a little chub"
"God, you're sexy"
"I had a fun time"
"You like that, don't you?"

Mina could only assume that all of it meant "I love you" in his eyes.

Mina hated all of those phrases now.

Mina would have loved to just say "No". She wanted to so badly. With every breath she took, she just wanted to say no. But she couldn't. She was so scared. All the trust, the love, the energy, the passion she put into the relationship and him, now felt like a noose that was choking her from saying what she desperately needed to.

It was a fluke. It had to be. There was no way he would ever—

It happened again. And again, and again. Every plan she tried to make was shut down if it was in public. It wasn't a fluke. He planned to make it a continuous habit every time he saw her.

Mina cried herself to sleep after every time they hung out.

There was a specific time that burned in the back of her mind from time to time. The two of them were hanging out after he began to do what he wanted. She began carrying a knife with her when they hung out because she couldn't stand the thought of it getting worse. One day, he saw the knife and commented on it.

"Why do you have a knife? You think I'm gonna force myself onto you?"

She remembers him pushing her and grabbing her wrists at that moment. He pinned her against the wall and pushed a leg in between hers. She remembers that she stopped breathing completely. She couldn't even reach for the knife if she could muster up the courage to do so.

"Oh no, I'm forcing myself onto you," he said flatly with blatant sarcasm.

It was in that moment that Mina realized that he didn't see any problem with anything he was doing. She couldn't say a word as he got closer, touched her more, tainted her with more memories.

It could've been worse. Mina constantly reminded herself of that.

Each repeat of her little mantra in her eyes was a friendly reminder that it wasn't that bad and that she didn't have much of a right to complain. Some women walked away with severe and irreversible trauma. Some women walked away with the worst kind of broken trust. The kind that gets them pregnant.

Mina thanked every God that there ever was that it never got to that point. Sure, his hands crawled to places that made her nauseous just thinking about, but at least she broke it off before he stole her virginity.

Other women have had it worse. She had no room to complain.

She remembered the night that she couldn't take it anymore. It was late at night. Tadao and his girlfriend took Mina to walk him home. Sitting on the dimly lit train, he leaned over and whispered into her.

"Thank you," he whispered. She felt a hand slide onto her inner thigh. "For tonight."

Mina felt shivers crawl up her spine. She continued to look straight ahead as she refused to reply. She probably couldn't if she even tried, but surviving the train ride to his house was her biggest issue then.

When he walked inside, the three walked silently back to the train and made their way home. Once they were all seated, Mina took in a shaky breath and asked the two a question she will always remember.

"Do you ever... just feel scared and helpless around someone?" She asked.

"God, yes, all the time," Tadao's girlfriend replied. Tadao eyed down his little sister.

"Do you feel scared and helpless around someone?" Tadao asked.

Mina couldn't take it anymore. She broke out into a sob and began speaking and telling them everything she had bottled up out of fear. Fear of being seen as a disgusting slut, fear of being looked at as tainted, fear of making it all too real, fear of being around someone like him.

Fear of men.

Tadao and his girlfriend gave excellent advice. They became allies in a war she wasn't even sure she was fighting in. But most of all, Tadao told her what she wanted to hear so badly from someone else.

"You should break up with him."

Mina knew that. She knew that the second he began kissing her neck. But Tadao's suggestion was validation in disguise. A reminder that it wasn't wrong to want to have nothing to do with him. She was given the opportunity to take back the control she had lost months ago.

So she did.

After a four-minute call and a lot of sobbing and self-hatred, she was no longer under his control. No longer a puppet on a string, forced to move for his liking.

But she could still feel his touch.

Like each ridge of wherever his fingertips were, it was decaying her skin. It wasn't burning, it wasn't aching, it wasn't stinging.

It was rotting. And that was the worst type of pain.

Somehow, Mina had convinced herself that maybe, just maybe, if she got away from him. The disgusting, tainted skin she now wore would maybe wash away. It didn't. Instead, it manifested and resonated in her memories every day. Feeling powerless, alone, scared, hurt, betrayed.

Why couldn't she just say "no"? It was such a simple word, not hard to say whatsoever. But it couldn't escape her lips. She wanted to scream it, shove him away, and defend herself using any means necessary. But she couldn't. She never did. The fear paralyzed her body and her lungs. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't move. She physically couldn't refuse.

Maybe that was her own fault, though. Other people could refuse at the moment, so why couldn't she? It had to be something wrong with her. And since she never said no, that meant that she was in the wrong, right?

It was her fault. Her fault she felt violated and disgusting, or at least that what she told herself. It made perfect sense. He took initiative, she never refused. It was her fault. But that didn't stop the hatred she felt towards him. That didn't stop the fear she felt when she saw him.

That fear quickly turned to most men she saw. Any man she didn't know too well was a threat.

Shaking hands with a man seemed like a dreadful task. What bad could possibly come from a fucking handshake? Mina couldn't give a good answer, but that didn't mean she wouldn't fake colds just to have an excuse to not touch men.

The worst were older men. A generation that thrived on physical contact. They'd always pat her on the back or put a hand on her shoulder. Small things that would make her flinch or roll her shoulders. She hated being touched on her shoulders and back. She couldn't see who was there, she didn't know their intentions, there was no warning, and the fear struck her core every time.

People would stare when she flinched and rolled her shoulders. They all looked at her odd, sometimes throwing in a one-liner.

"Are you getting beat at home?"

She laughed it off. It wasn't funny. It never was, but it kept the peace and got them off the topic quickly. That was all she could really ask for: stop talking about it. Because when others didn't talk about her hatred of being touched without permission, it wasn't as real. Her mind didn't follow the moldy breadcrumb trail back to what made her hate the contact in the first place. She didn't have to think about it and let the disgusting feeling well up in her core.

Her parents hated the fact she didn't like to be touched. They'd always complain about it when they'd touch her back and she'd roll her shoulders and lean away from the touch.

"Why can't we touch you? Am I not allowed to touch my own daughter?" Her parents would ask. Mina could only respond with what she did every time.

"I just really don't like being touched without knowing. If you give me a heads up it'd be okay. I'm sorry," she'd say.

They never gave her a heads up. They continued to make her flinch or jump away and then complain. It hurt. It really hurt whenever they would pull out the comparisons as well.

"You're just so different from Tadao. He'll let us hug him and touch him and mess with his hair. We're your parents and we want to hug you without you physically recoiling," they'd say.

Mina understood where they were coming from. She wished she didn't have to recoil every time they touched her. She hated it. She was their little girl after all. She couldn't even give them an explanation.

But how was she to explain to her parents why she hated it so much? How could she look them in the eyes and tell them that someone took advantage of, violated, ruined their little girl? How could she look them in the eyes and tell them that someone held her down and used her for their pleasure? How could she tell them about the terror that ran through her veins when those unwanted, vivid flashbacks ran through her head for split seconds when she was touched sometimes?

Mina understood where they were coming from. She wished she didn't have to recoil every time they touched her. She hated it. Mina was their little girl after all, and she couldn't even give them an explanation. She could never tell them what he had done to her. All she could do was apologize for being the way she was and try to be a better daughter.

If someone were to ask him what happened with the breakup, he would tell them a whole different story. At first, Mina was confused as to what she had heard here and there from other people and her friends at Tadao's high school. Why he decided to twist the truth to such an extent, Mina had no idea. But the pain hearing such words said about her hurt her to a degree she didn't expect.

He told people that Mina's call was out of the blue. Mina could agree with that statement, but that was about all she could validate in his newly constructed web of lies. He said that he gave her everything, that he tried to be the best boyfriend he could. When he got the phone call, he claimed that Mina was emotionless, uncaring, a 'cold-hearted bitch' to say the very least. He was devastated and heartbroken and Mina was bitter and cold and mean.

She got glances from the high school students when she went to her high school math class. The only people who truly seemed to understand that maybe the story wasn't told exactly how it happened was the volleyball team, who spent enough time around him to see that there were skeletons overflowing his closet.

He was gone, but it felt like he was still there. She felt rotted, disgusting, tainted. There seemed to be nothing she could do about those infectious feelings that roamed her waist and thighs. That rotting feeling would send a surge of emotions through her chest. Pain, guilt, devastation, sadness, agony, frustration. She would cry night after night, pull at her hair, and scratch at the places he touched her to try to get rid of that touch.

Luckily (in the moment, at least), she figured out that she may not be able to control the decaying, but she could control the sadness.

So, she came up with a plan. Whenever she would get that rotting feeling and the onslaught of pain was coming on, she would lock herself in her room. She would lock the door, leaving only one lamp on, sit down on her bed, and stare at the wall.

That was it.

Sit and stare at the wall. Every time that pain crept in, she shut it down and focused on staring at the wall. She refused to allow herself to think of anything, feel anything. The only thing she allowed herself to do was stare at the wall. Stare and stare and stare, sometimes for hours on end in the dead of night when her thoughts became the most unbearable. She would stare at that stupid fucking wall and repress any emotion she felt, every pain and agony she would shove down until she didn't feel a thing. And it worked.

After months of staring at a wall every time she was in pain, she didn't feel a thing.

She had made herself completely numb.

Mina didn't care at the time that not only did she make herself emotionally numb to the trauma, but also emotionally inept and numb to every emotion she could have felt. She didn't care that not only was her sadness muted, but also her happiness and sense of empathy. She didn't realize it until months later when events she should have been distraught over didn't seem to affect her at all. She didn't feel a thing.

She especially didn't realize how bad it had gotten until one night. She was streaming a movie with two friends. She got a call on her phone from a friend who texted that he was in dire need of help. The second she answered, he was asking her for guidance on what to do.

He told her about how a mutual friend was trying to commit suicide by overdosing on prescription medications. How she stopped answering her phone and Mina's friend was at a loss for what to do.

And Mina was shocked at her own reaction.

She was annoyed.

She was mildly pissed off that she had to stop watching the movie to calm him down, try to reach out to her friend who was in a crisis and call the police.

Someone she cared for was in a fatal crisis and she was annoyed about it. Only then did she realize how bad her lack of empathy had gotten. Years after staring at that wall, most of her empathy was a 'fake it till you make it' type of feeling. She would fake empathy and emotion just so wouldn't come off as a sociopath. She would force herself to tears when she was in a situation where she should have been crying, she would put on her best pain-stricken face when someone told her something bad, she would use language to describe an emotion she never even felt and avidly try to perfect it through her constant writing.

Of course, the wall couldn't shield her from the pain she had suppressed forever. When she got back from the mental hospital, when her mind went downhill on a steep decline, it came crashing back.

Nightmares became much more frequent, she began hearing his voice, feeling his touch all over again, like a demon that woke up from a thousand-year slumber. Sometimes she would be so paranoid that he was there, hiding, waiting for her to let her guard down so he could attack.

But maybe the most embarrassing thing is one of the triggers he gave her. Mina still remembers what happened that day vividly. She was coming home from a fundraiser with her family. Tadao threw out the idea of getting Hot Heads, to which Mina quickly agreed. She loved Hot Heads and it had been a while since she last got it.

So their parents stayed in the car and the two of them walked in. She was looking down at the food in those little metal bins, as one does while ordering from a burrito place.

Mina had no idea what he had asked. She just remembered that voice.

That horrible, terrible voice haunted her nightmares and held her hostage for the past year. She looked up and there he was. Looking her dead in the eyes like he did all those agonizing nights he used to be with her. The same eyes that looked down at her like a twisted predator as she lay helpless and unable to move under his control of her mind and body.

It had been what? Two? Three years? She may not even have recognized him with the hat and mask he was wearing. But that voice that whispered so many agonizing and hurtful words of praise in her ears that continued to ring and scream until she was sure her ears were going to bleed.

Mina immediately picked up the pace, glancing at Tadao impatiently as he ordered.

The second she got back into the car, she broke down. All the decaying memories that she thought were long gone were erupting to the surface, leaving her feeling shattered and rotten once more.

She feared the day they cross paths once more. It was a small town, it's only a matter of time. But it's fine because next time, she won't be afraid to use that fucking knife.

Being accepted into UA was one of the happiest moments of Mina's life. She remembered squealing in excitement as she opened the letter and the disc clattered on the table.

As All Might yelled, Mina nearly jumped out of her skin. As she settled down, her brother walked in and took a seat on the ground next to her. As he listed off her scoring and her most memorable moments during the test, she couldn't help but squeal as she was welcomed into the hero course.

As the video came to a close, she quickly turned to her brother, who had a huge grin on his face. He opened his arms for a hug, offering his embrace. With all the warning in the world, Mina happily accepted the hug as she cried into her brother's shoulder.

"I'm so proud of you, Mina," Tadao said softly. Mina sniffled and replied with gratitude.

A couple of thumps were heard coming towards the two of them. Mina wiped her eyes to see her parents with tilted heads. She gave them the most excited smile she could create as she broke the news.

"I got into UA," she squealed. Her parents rushed towards her, arms open. Mina hugged them and laughed along with their excitement and praise.

Once everyone had left, she immediately called up Kirishima.

He answered almost immediately. The phone barely had time to ring before she heard his voice over the line.

"Meens, you won't believe it!" Kirishima exclaimed.

"No, you won't believe it!" She replied.

"Alright alright," he said quickly. "On the country of three: one, two, three."

"I got into UA," they both said. The phone lagged their replies, but they both started freaking out when they heard the news. They couldn't seem to congratulate each other enough as they kept rambling their praises to each other.

"I don't care if it's already eight at night," Mina declared. "We're celebrating."

"Alright, I'll be at yours in ten minutes and we can go get Dango from across that one place a couple of blocks down from you," Kirishima proposed.

"Sounds great. I'll be here," she said. The line clicked as she scrambled for her shoes and jacket. She snatched a small bottle of pepper spray and shoved it in her coat pocket along with her wallet. She was so excited she almost melted the door handle as she barged out of her room (a tragic event that has happened a couple of times).

She stumbled into the kitchen and smiled as she sat down. "Kiri is gonna be here soon. We're going out to celebrate."

"Oh? Did he get into UA too?" Her mother asked. She profusely nodded her head and smiled. "That's great. Give him our congratulations. Please be home quickly, the sun is already setting."

A knock on the front door caught her attention. "Gotta go, bye!" She said. She quickly hugged her parents and ran out of the door. Closing it behind her, she locked eyes with Kirishima, who also had a stupid grin on his face. They quickly fell into a hug as they continued to congratulate each other.

"Oh my God Kiri," she squealed. "I knew you could do it."

"You too Meens," he replied. They took their praise on foot as they began heading to the Dango place.

"I'm getting the sanshoku," she announced. "I'm feeling sanshoku."

"I don't know what I'm gonna get," Kirishima replied. "Might go with classic sanshoku if I don't decide by the time it's my turn to order."

The rest of the walk was filled with questions about what the future holds and what kind of people would be at their new school. All their rambling slowed down when they made their way to the front of the line. They both counted their coins and handed them to the mildly apathetic teenage cashier.

The two went back in their joint worlds, walking away with their celebratory treats. Mina was so excited, holding the brightest smile on her face.

That was until she felt a hand tap against her shoulder.

She gasped and fumbled with one of the Dango sticks in her hand as she jumped away from the source. She whipped her head around to see who wanted her attention. She locked eyes with a mildly confused looking guy. He seemed around college age, but that didn't stop the look of fear in her eyes when she saw him.

"Uh, sorry," he muttered. He held out a ¥500 coin. "You left this on the counter."

Mina glanced down at her feet, embarrassed. She saw the look on her best friend's face as she awkwardly held out her hand. "Right, thanks," she muttered. He dropped the coin in her hand, not making contact with her.

Mina plastered a smile on her face as she quickly threw out more guesses for what UA was going to be like. Anything to distract Kirishima from the scene she accidentally created.

Eight turned to nine. Nine turned to ten. Walking back to Mina's apartment, Kirishima seemed to take the chance he found in the comfortable silence.

"So um," he started. "I've been noticing that quite a bit recently. You shifting or flinching when people touch you, I mean. You've been doing in for months now. Is everything alright?"

Mina's pace slowed a little. Her stomach dropped at the thought of having to look Kirishima in the eyes and telling him what had happened. How someone had hurt his best friend. How someone who wanted to be a brave and noble hero, had such a stupid fear.

Because then she'd see his face. His expression of pain. Whenever Mina hurts, Kirishima hurts. She hated it. He looked so heartbroken to see her cry, to see her fall apart. He was so happy earlier, she shouldn't ruin his mood like this.

"Meens, you know you can tell me anything, right?" He said softly. "No matter what. Whenever, wherever, I'll listen and I'll be by your side no matter what."

One of the very (very) few men she trusted. One of three, to be exact. Kirishima, the only non-blood-related man she trusted, was giving her an outlet.

A weight that had been weighing down her stomach and lungs for months. A disgusting secret kept between Mina and her brother. She didn't want to worry him, but just how much longer was she going to bury this mortifying, horrifying experience?

She couldn't possibly be silent any longer. Mina hated it, but the pain of keeping this to herself was almost unbearable.

"You... remember my ex-boyfriend. The first year?" She asked softly. Kirishima nodded his head hesitantly. "Well... I know... I know I told you I broke it off because I realized I didn't like him like that. But that's not true. Mostly."

Kirishima didn't take his eyes off of Mina. His full attention rested on her and her alone. She cleared his throat. "Something happened," she mumbled. "He... he and I would hang out. A-and while we were hanging out, he would start kissing me. And then he would... get..."

Mina felt her throat ache and close up. She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the tears back to the depths from which they tried to escape. She shut her mouth to stop the profuse cracking in her voice. She wrapped her arms around her stomach as the tears betrayed her mind and rolled down her face. Even thinking about finishing her sentence made her feel sick to her stomach.

"He... on top... of me," she whispered. "And... force himself... on to me."

Kirishima and Mina had come to a complete halt at that point. The street light over their head provided enough light to be able to see each other, but no more.

"He didn't..." Kirishima asked. He shifted uncomfortably before clearing his throat. "Did he?"

Mina looked up at Kirishima for the first time since she began talking. He was dangerously close to crying but using every muscle in his being to be strong. She shook her head.

"I broke it off before that happened," she whispered. Mina wiped at her eyes before looking down again. "He would... push himself... too close to me. And... put his hands under um... my clothes. I never said no. I-I couldn't. I wanted to. So bad. I wanted to scream and kick a-and attack and do anything to get him away. But I was frozen. I was so scared."

"Mina," Kirishima muttered softly. She let more sobs tumble out of her lips. "Mina I am so sorry. I had no idea. Oh my god, if I would've known—"

"No," she interjected. "There was no way for you to know. I kept it to myself. I don't want to play that game."

Kirishima nodded his head and opened his arms for Mina. She hesitantly made her way into the hug and collapsed into his embrace. "I... I can't take it anymore. I'm so scared all the time. I hate this. I feel gross and icky and disgusting constantly."

"I'm not sure how to help you with this. I'm not too experienced in this department," Kirishima muttered. Mina shuddered and cried as Kirishima messed with the locks of her hair. "But, I do know that you are so brave. I'm sure that must have hurt like hell for so long. And you had the courage to share it anyway. That's... commendable. I admire that about you. And I know that you will make it through these feelings of discomfort. Because you are Ashido Mina. You're strong, amazing, brave as hell, and one of the best gifts to this Earth. It'll take time. That I'm sure of. But you'll make it. You don't need to be able to see it now, but just know that you're strong. You'll make it until then."

"Thank you, Kiri," she whispered. "I just... this is all my fault. I didn't say no. It's my fault that he—"

"That's not true at all," Kirishima replied. "You were scared. You weren't able to say no. This is in no way your fault. You didn't reciprocate, you didn't say you consented to his advances. You didn't consent. You didn't do anything wrong by not being okay with what he did."

Mina stayed silent. She listened to Kirishima's words but wasn't fully ready to accept what he was saying. Maybe he was right, but it didn't feel like it.

"It's okay if you don't believe it now," Kirishima said as if he could read minds. Kirishima let go of the embrace. He cupped Mina's face with both hands and kissed her forehead. He wiped a couple of tears from her face, and then his own. "But that was his actions. He made the choice to push himself onto you. That is not your fault."

Mina nodded her head, still not fully sure if she was ready to begin to believe his words. He wiped a couple of tears from her eyes and smiled. "Come on, let's get you home," he said softly.

Ashido walked through the door and immediately crashed on her bed. She was so exhausted from all the excitement and tears. She was pretty sure she was having a sugar crash as she took off her bra and didn't bother getting changed into her pajamas. She was out within five minutes anyway.

Ashido was so excited, yet so scared. Looking around, she saw that already the class had a majority of men. She could only hope they'd all leave her alone. Walking into the school, she gawked and yelled at the mere sight of Kirishima, wondering how he was able to keep such a secret of suddenly going full-on Gerard Way Danger Days.

Of course, she teased him. She threatened to tell everyone he was trying to look cool for high school. In all honesty, it was loud, bright, and made a statement. She loved the look and couldn't wait to see what he was going to bring with it.

Not only was Kirishima in her class, but he was also in paper throwing distance. She could reach out and slap his hand if she wanted to. A girl took the seat behind her. Beautiful long and silky green hair. She was forever grateful that she had a girl behind her. She turned around and smiled.

"Hiya! I'm Ashido Mina! What's your name?"

"My name is Asui Tsuyu. But please call me Tsu," she requested. Mina gave her a thumbs up.

"Great! You can call me Mina then!" She smiled. Tsu grinned and nodded her head. Kirishima made himself comfortable next to her desk as she continued to scope out the rest of the room. A tall girl sat in the back corner of the room. She looked like she meant business. A girl sat two seats away that immediately caught her eye. She sat and twirled... something that was hanging off her earlobe. Mina tried her best not to stare.

She counted four. Four other girls. A couple of students were still missing but she was not a fan of the lack of women in the class. She heard a feminine voice in the hall that was immediately cut off by an apathetic man.

Before Mina could fully comprehend what was happening, she was being pushed out the door and handed a P.E uniform.

Their teacher (Aizawa, was it?) decided that orientation was for chumps. They were taking a quirk apprehension test. Last place goes home.

Mina was not going home. No fucking way. She worked her ass off to not get sent home. Every test she was determined to not be in the bottom 7 at least. And she wasn't. When they got the test scores back, Mina was in 9th. She gave a huge sigh of relief.

Too bad he lied. Nobody was going home. A couple claimed they already knew, but that didn't make it any less nerve-racking.

She hadn't remembered the last time she used her quirk this much in one day. She wasn't tired, but she felt ready to use it. Which may have not been the best thing considering—

"Hey, you did great out there!" She heard a masculine voice say. She felt a hand pat her back and her body immediately jumped into fight or flight mode. Her quirk was ready, it had been ready all day.

She spun around and swatted away the hand with her acid covered one. The boy winced and held onto the acid burn on top of his hand. "Yo, my bad, didn't mean to scare you. Just wanted to ask your name. Ah shoot, this hurts," he winced.

Her senses caught up to her before she went to attack him. Her eyes widened as she glanced around to see a couple of people staring. "Oh my God, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to... uh, sorry!" She exclaimed.

"It's cool, it's cool," he said while shaking his hand in the air. Mina wasn't sure if he was trying to cool off the acid or what, but it was interesting to see his thought process. "I'm Kaminari Denki, you?"

"Ashido Mina," she muttered. "Here, uh, I can walk you to the nurse!" Mina offered. The second it left her mouth she realized two things.

One, she had no fucking clue where the nurse was.

Two, she didn't want to go alone with this boy.

She glanced around and saw the boy who snapped his fingers. "Hey! You! You're going to the nurse, right? Kaminari needs to go too. You two can help each other!" She smiled. She pointed to Kaminari and slipped behind the tall girl in hopes that Kaminari would forget about her offer.

Her first day was not going as planned whatsoever. But Kirishima continuously shot her glances of support.

As the days went by, she became more comfortable with her new classmates. Even the angry blond who terrified her on the first day didn't seem to bad.

It didn't take long for people to realize that Mina didn't like being touched without permission. Kaminari learned on the first day and others gradually got the hint over time. Mina was just glad nobody asked her to explain herself. Everyone just apologized or awkwardly laughed it off.

But soon enough, days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months.

She loved her 1-A family with all her heart. All the girls were so sweet and fun to be around. The guys were pretty cool and quite funny at times.

Mina was surprised when she found herself in a friend group of mostly men. Well, all the girls stuck together in their group, but she somehow found herself in the 'Bakusquad' as Kaminari called it.

Usually, Mina wouldn't be caught anywhere near a group of only guys. But Kirishima was there, and that made her feel safe. Kirishima would always defend her even after she died.

As the school year went by, she found herself getting closer to these guys than she ever imagined. Each day with them was filled with laughter and smiles. Mina found herself loosening up to the three other guys.

Kaminari, who had every right to never want to talk to her again, stuck around. He quickly forgave her and was an absolute ray of sunshine. He'd always bring the fun and was happy to make everyone around him smile.

Bakugou, who Mina was surprised decided to stick around. The angry blond would constantly roll his eyes and look overall annoyed every time he laid eyes on them. Despite all of this, he still showed up to every hangout. Mina had a sneaking suspicion as to why, but she wasn't going to tease Kirishima about it just yet. She needed to give it time.

Sero, who was extremely laid back and always wore a smile. He was constantly happy and never failed to make Mina smile. He had no problem making everyone feel included and comfortable. He was sweet, caring, funny, kind, just the coolest guy.

So when they went to a dorm system in the second semester, Mina wasn't sure if she was excited or terrified.

Mina and Kirishima brought their things in together. Mina's parents caught up with Kirishima's moms while Tadao played with Kirishima's little sisters. Mina switched back and forth from being extremely excited to scared shitless every minute. Kirishima laughed and tried to calm her nerves as she talked anything and everything dorm related.

After Aizawa yelled at everyone, they all walked into a place that was 5 times nicer than Mina could have ever dreamed of. The others joined her in utter mesmerization of the setting.

Looking at the arrangements, she was overjoyed that not only was Uraraka on her floor but Kirishima as well. Getting moved in was extremely fun. A new space to decorate and design however she pleased. And goddammit was she going to decorate.

She was honestly amazed at how amazing her room looked. It was immaculate, astonishing, marvelous, perfect. Not everyone seemed to think the same, but it wasn't her fault they couldn't see greatness.

Sero seemed quite happy with her room. His face seemed to light up the moment Mina showed it off. When her eyes met his, the smile softened to something lovely. Mina couldn't help but smile back.

Sero was the type of person that was impossible not to like. Everything from his quirk to his laid back personality attracted Mina to him. His smile was genuine, his jokes were hilarious, his drive was admirable.

But that didn't stop Mina from panicking when it dawned on her that she had a crush on a boy.

She didn't know what to do. She simply shut down, staring blankly at the foot of her bed where Kirishima was sitting, waiting for an answer.

"Meens? You there?" He asked. Her eyes snapped up. "Is that a yes or a no? Do you like him? Cause it sure sounds like it."

Mina opened her mouth to say something, anything. All that came out was a short breath as her eyes tried to focus on the pattern of her comforter. She flicked her fingers at her hand a couple of times, trying to get herself to say something. "I don't know," she finally muttered. "He's so... awesome. He's a great guy and he's cute and sweet but... I'm scared."

Kirishima smiled sympathetically. He brushed some hair behind his ear and shifted in his spot. "I understand what you're scared. I can only imagine how... your past can make you feel about your feelings now. And if it's not something you want to pursue, that's alright. But... Sero is a real manly guy. There's no doubt in my mind that he would treat you with respect. And if he didn't, these walls are paper-thin. Shout and I won't hesitate to bulldoze down a couple of floors and start swinging."

Mina laughed softly as Kirishima flailed his arms around. He adjusted the bandanna on his head, waiting for Mina to take the lead.

"I mean... I do like him. I really do. And I appreciate your offer, but I'm still afraid. I don't know. I'd like to think he'd never do anything I didn't want him to, I don't think he would. But I still feel it. The fear, the anxiety, the nausea, the pain," Mina whispered. "God, I'm talking like I already know he likes me back."

"Well, I wouldn't but the possibility too far out of reach," Kirishima reasoned. "And it's okay to still be afraid. Maybe this is how you keep living. Taking the challenge to become comfortable with a boyfriend. But if that's not something you want to do right now, that's okay too. You should do whatever makes you feel safe and happy."

Mina shifted in her seat, hugging a pillow to her chest. "Have you ever heard him say anything... bad? Like something that could ever maybe be a red flag?"

Kirishima paused. "Well, he mains Simon in smash, but I don't think that's what you mean," he laughed. Mina couldn't help but snort and laugh. "But no, I've never heard him say anything problematic."

"So... do you think I should go for it?" Mina asked.

"Do you want to?"

Mina pondered the question for a bit, making sure of her answer. Was she ready to put her sanity and spirit on the line again? Sero didn't seem the type to ever do anything bad to someone, then again, neither did her ex at first. But she knew Sero. She knew what everyone thought of him. She had been getting to know him for months, not a couple go weeks. She would have to get back up on her feet at some point, right?

"Yeah."

"I hate all of you and I hate this school and I hate society," Kaminari declared. Mina laughed as she clutched the controller in her hand.

Bakugou leaned up against Kirishima as he smirked, his Captain Falcon player on the screen. Mina's daisy sat behind in second, while Sero's Simon stayed in third. And in fourth? Pikachu, of course.

"Does the piss baby need a five-minute cry break?" Mina asked. Kirishima and Sero laughed while Bakugou just rolled his eyes.

"I would've won if Sero didn't tape my controller and steal it from me!" Kaminari complained.

"And I'll do it again, bap bap bap!" Sero yelled in return.

Bakugou groaned. "You guys are so fucking annoying," he muttered.

"The door is right there dude," Mina said.

"But how could he ever live without his red-headed body pillow?" Sero asked. Immediately, all hell broke loose as Kirishima held back Bakugou and Sero darted onto Kaminari's bed to run from the chaos he created.

"I'm not a fan of the hostile environment we have created," Kaminari said, backing out of harm's way.

"Yeah, let's take five and then figure out what's gonna happen next," Kirishima said, pulling Bakugou closer to him.

"Right, in that case, Ashido, can I talk to you in the hall for a sec?" Sero asked. Mina couldn't help the fear that suddenly struck her heart. If it was any stronger, she maybe wouldn't have been able to feel the excitement of what he might say. But goddamn was that fear loud.

"Yeah, sure," Mina said, glancing towards Kirishima. Kirishima nodded his head and got up along with them. He headed to the door and leaned up against the wall.

"Where the hell are you going, Shitty Hair?" Bakugou asked, now alone on the floor.

"Just chilling by the door. My charger is here," Kirishima said.

"I can charge your phone for you," Kaminari said while sticking out his tongue.

"That's kinda gay bro," Kirishima laughed.

"Only for you bro," Kaminari winked. Bakugou tossed his controller Kaminari's way with force as he leaned his back against the bed. Mina gave Kirishima a small smile as she walked out behind Sero and shut the door behind her.

Sero led her closer to the elevator, but Mina made sure she didn't stray too far from the room of chaos. She leaned against the wall with her arms hugging her stomach. She waited for Sero to begin as he shifted his weight between legs.

"Um, I'm not a hundred percent sure how to start this," he laughed.

"It's cool. I say we have four minutes before Kaminari's cry break is over," Mina laughed. Sero chuckled along with her as he gathered his thoughts.

"Uh... I guess I'll just say what I'm thinking," he said. "I think you're beautiful. You're easily the prettiest and strongest girl in out class, and I guess in the first year in general. You're awesome and cool and funny and I really admire you. Everything about you is just... awesome. And... I like you. A lot."

Mina couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as she listened to Sero's words. All sounded so genuine and from the heart, so sweet, so caring. Mina felt the blush rise to her cheeks as they stared at each other two meters apart in the class 1-A dorms.

"I like you too," Mina said after a few moments of silence. Sero let out a chuckle and groaned as he rubbed his face.

"Oh my god, that's such a relief," he said. Mina tilted her head as he chuckled and sighed. "Honestly, I was afraid you'd punch me or laugh at me. You've just always been so independent. You have a lot of 'don't need no man' energy and I was afraid you'd demolish me the second I said something."

Mina busted our laughing at Sero's theory, making him laugh in return. "Maybe I'll just have to do that," she said. The two of them kept laughing until the joke died down. The two glanced at each other, the same question on their minds.

"So, what happens now?" Mina asked. Sero looked around and ultimately shrugged his shoulders.

"What do you want to happen?" Sero asked.

Mina did a bit of a double-take. What did she want to happen? Did she get a say in this? She opened her mouth to speak, only to continue pondering her next move.

"Can we just... test the waters for a bit. I don't want to jump into labels or... affection just yet. Uh, as stupid as it sounds, these types of things make me anxious and I'd like to take it slow," she muttered.

"Nah, that doesn't sound stupid," Sero said. "It's reasonable to be nervous about things. I mean, I don't know your reason but like, everyone has a right to be nervous."

Mina nodded her head, a smile creeping on her lips. "Thanks, it means a lot," she said softly. Sero smiled wide and made Mina feel safe in an odd way.

They heard the signature whine of Kaminari that he was waiting on someone. The two of them looked at each other. "I'll text you later tonight?" He asked. Mina smiled and nodded her head. The two of them back to the room where Kaminari was sprawled on the ground, Kirishima was leaning on the wall next to the door and Bakugou was sitting crossed legged on the bed.

Kirishima gave a subtle thumbs up that Mina returned. They all sat back down and decided that it was better to take a look at Kaminari's island rather than start a fistfight over smash.

Sero asked Mina out a couple of weeks later. It wasn't romantic, but it was sweet.

Hearing ungodly noises at two in the morning on Sunday, Mina and Uraraka walked down hand in hand to see what was lurking.

In the darkness, they heard whispered arguing with panicked groans and yells. Mina quickly flipped on the lights as the two were ready for a fight. They locked eyes with Sero and Kaminari, who were both covered in cake batter and frosting. A mildly pathetic batch of homemade cupcakes sat on the counter. Sero and Kaminari glanced between each other.

"Uh, come back in like fifteen minutes," Sero said. The two girls did just that, walking to the elevators and waiting out the time. Once they heard Kaminari's shout, the two walked back in.

The cupcakes were arranged in a heart with a small note in the center that said 'will you be my girlfriend?'. Mina read over it and looked at Sero, who had a small and begging smile on his face.

With a small giggle, Mina nodded her head. Sero held his arms out for a hug. After a bit of consideration, she took the offer and relished in the feeling of a soft romantic touch. The vibrations of Sero's laugh buzzed in her ear from Sero's chest.

Once they broke their hug, they realized that Kaminari and Uraraka were nowhere to be found. Mina looked at the cupcakes and took a swipe of the strawberry frosting. "This is really good," she said. Sero smiled triumphantly. "I'm surprised you asked Kaminari for help and not Sato."

"Well, this is Sato's recipe, but he didn't want to be up this late whereas Kaminari just is naturally," Sero said. The two of them took a cupcake and sat on the granite countertop, talking about nothing and everything.

The clock struck four before they could even comprehend what happened. Mina helped him box up the remaining cupcakes and wipe down the (very messy) counters. The two of them shut off the lights and got in the elevator.

As the doors closed, the two of them fell into a comfortable silence. Mina held her hands in the pockets of her P.E pants while the gears in Sero's head were turning. The doors rolled open for Mina's floor. The two glanced at each other.

"Thanks for hanging out with me," she said softly.

"Thanks for agreeing to be my girlfriend," Sero replies. Mina was about to say goodnight when Sero finally got his words into the air. "Can I kiss you?"

Mina stopped dead in her tracks. She rewound Sero's words in her head a couple of times, just to make sure she was hearing them right. Because the thought of kissing Sero was extremely enticing, but what if something went wrong? Could she fight hard enough, scream loud enough?

"You don't have to if you don't want to. Don't feel pressured or anything?" Sero said. Mina blinked and analyzed Sero. She wanted to believe he'd never purposely hurt her so badly. But goddamn was it hard to believe for some reason.

The first steps to healing. She didn't feel completely comfortable around him, but she had options. She hoped that one day she could be able to close her eyes and be completely comfortable with Sero next to her. But that involved taking steps. And this was one she was willing to take.

"Yeah, I'd like to kiss you," she said softly. Sero smiled and took a step closer. It took a lot of willpower not to jump away out of instinct. He gently placed a hand on her arm. She felt the muscles tense up under his touch and by the mildly concerned look that flashed through his face, he felt it too. Her arm relaxed as she hesitantly brought her hands up to his shoulders. They hovered over for a few seconds until it seemed like she got an okay from Sero. Sero's free hand hovered over her cheek, much more cautious of contact than he was with his first touch. Mina's heart hammered out of her chest as Sero's lips approached hers.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. After a couple of seconds, she felt a pair of lips gently press onto hers.  For a split second, fear shot through her veins as her entire body tensed up in fear. But only for a split second. Because after that, she finally relaxed and enjoyed the feeling of Sero's lips on hers.

After a couple of seconds, Sero pulled away and gently took his hands away as well. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said softly.

"Goodnight," she whispered with a smile on her face. She watches as Sero disappeared back into the elevator as she walked to her room. She opened the door and flopped on her bed with a smile on her face.

One week quickly turned to three months. Mina hanging out in Sero's room was a new norm. The girls quickly adapted to checking Sero's room if they couldn't find her.

This Saturday night video game playing soon turned into a makeout session. Though the first time Sero's tongue swiped at her bottom lip was a little terrifying, it quickly became an activity she grew to love.

Sero's Switch was somewhere out of Mina's radius as her lips parted and rejoined Sero's, their tongues dancing together.

The two of them parted to catch their breath. Sero glanced down below Mina's eyes. She followed his gaze before he spoke up. "Hey, can I..." he said. His fingertips lightly tugged on the hem of her tank top, making sure they didn't make contact with her skin.

"Yeah," Mina whispered. The two of them leaned back in, their lips making contact again. She felt Sero's fingertips stain up her stomach, making their way to her bra. She felt her heart drum and the all too familiar feeling of fear manifesting in her gut.

Mina couldn't pinpoint why it took Sero pulling down on the cup of her bra to make her lose it, but it did. Suddenly, all the adrenaline she had ever felt kicked in as the fear swallowed her whole.

She saw his face, clear as day. Memories that had been repressed ripped their way to the surface. The way she was held down, the way she was forced into positions that made her nauseous. The way she simply only existed for someone else's pleasure. The way she felt powerless, weak, helpless. His voice echoed deep in her mind, getting deafeningly louder by the second. His face making her feel all the fear she once thought a distant memory.

"Maybe not!" She yelled. Before she could comprehend her actions, her foot was shoved into Sero's chest and shoving him off the bed while her acid covered hand swatted at anything in its path.

Sero fell off the bed and became out of view. Mina wanted to move and ask if he was okay. She wanted to apologize for suddenly attacking him. She wanted to make sure she didn't burn him. But she was frozen. Frozen in fear that felt long-forgotten not only moments ago but was now coming back full force.

Breathing was an impossible task as her vision blurred and pinpricks spread across her body. She gasped and hiccuped, trying desperately to breathe. She felt lightheaded as everything seemed to stop completely. Her body shook with each failed breath and all coherent thoughts were replaced with feral fear.

She heard talking, that was for sure. She tried hard to focus and listen but it was hard through her amplified breaths and the sound of her faulty heartbeat ringing in her ears.

"—ido, take deep breaths. Just deep breaths, that's all for now," she heard. She took the deepest breaths she could. She choked on each breath and coughed and hiccuped. But she kept trying.

She focused on the details in front of her. The green blur she saw was now recognizable as Midoriya. He wore a soft smile as he continued to reassure her the best he could. A blur of red she wasn't even aware was sitting next to her was now making its way across the room.

"Uh, just continue breathing. Can you try counting to ten for me?" Midoriya asked. Mina took a deep breath and counted slowly, punctuating each syllable. Todoroki sat next to the two of them, glancing at Mina's right every once in a while.

Once Mina's breathing was under control she groaned as she took her first clear breath in a long while. She wiped the tears that were still flowing slowly and looked back at the two boys in front of her.

"Did he hurt you?" Todoroki asked. Midoriya hit Todoroki lightly on the chest.

"Not now," Midoriya whispered. "Do you need to get out of this room?"

"I'm... maybe. I need to sit for a bit," she whispered.

The yelling that was somehow blending in with everything around her was now standing out. She followed Todoroki's gaze to see Kirishima holding Sero against the wall, shirt clenched in his fists. Kirishima looked ready to kill him while Sero looked utterly confused and terrified.

"No, it's not like that bro, I don't—"

"I swear to God!" Kirishima yelled. "You better have a damn good explanation as to why—"

"Kiri, please stop!" Mina sobbed. The two of them stopped and turned to Mina, her tears spreading her mascara down her face in streaks. "When... when did any of you even get here?"

Everyone glanced around. "Shouto and I were hanging out in his room and we heard a loud noise. We came here to check it out and we just saw Sero standing and staring at you."

Mina turned to Kirishima, who still had a grip on Sero's shirt. Kirishima let go and sighed. "I just got a text from Todoroki that said 'Ashido is crying in Sero's room' and naturally I showed up."

Mina took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. She had absolutely no idea how much time had passed for the situation to escalate the way it did, but there everyone was.

"Thanks, Midoriya, Todoroki. Thanks for helping. I need to talk to Kiri and Hanta. Please... don't mention this to anyone," she whispered.

"If you need us, just yell," Todoroki said. The two of them left and closed the door behind them. Kirishima slowly sat down next to Mina and offered his arms. Mina took them and cried into his chest for a little while.

After a couple of minutes, Mina pulled away and wiped her eyes for a bit. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to cause a scene."

"It's okay Meens, you don't have to apologize for anything," Kirishima said. His gaze soon narrowed in on Sero. "You on the other hand better have a good ass apology."

"Bro, I legit don't know what you're accusing me of. I didn't hit her," Sero said.

"What?" Mina asked.

"You know exactly what you did," Kirishima glared.

"He didn't do anything," Mina said.

"I really don't, honestly. We were just kissing and I—"

"I think there's been a misunderstanding," Mina said.

"And you what? Decided to get handsy and—"

"Kirishima Eijirou! Sero Hanta!" She yelled. The two of them shut up immediately. Now that she had the stage, she took a deep breath. "Kiri, you've been so supportive from day one and I'm so appreciative of that. You helped me get back up and I'm forever grateful. But I have my voice right now, let me speak."

Kirishima nodded his head. "Sorry Meens," he muttered.

"Hanta didn't force himself onto me," she said. "He asked if he could do something, and I said yes. He did it and I got bad memories and hit him. Then I began crying and the next thing I knew Midoriya was talking to me. He didn't do anything wrong. It was me."

The room when silent. "Shit, I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions bro," Kirishima muttered to Sero.

"No worries. Bad memories?" Sero asked, taking a seat next to Mina. She nodded her head.

"I couldn't ever bring myself to tell you," she whispered. "It just never came out of my mouth. I was so scared of what you'd think of me or of how you would react. Thinking about telling you scared me and make me nauseous. I was afraid of reliving it."

Sero sat in silence, waiting for Mina to speak again. She went over her next words over and over again in her head. "Um, so, a while ago, I was in a relationship," she muttered.

"Meens, are you sure you wanna talk about it now? You're not in the best state of mind," Kirishima said.

"You don't have to tell me as an explanation for your actions. I'm totally cool with it, no harm done," Sero said.

"No," she said. "I want to tell you. But... Kiri, could you stay?" She asked. Kirishima nodded his head as Mina organized her thoughts.

Healing was something that seemed to come pretty easy to Mina. But not this time. One basket of bad experiences seemed to dictate her life for over a year. She bottled everything up, her dirty secret eating away at her. The repression showed up in her dreams, her fear of contact, her fear of men. She healed pretty easily other times she fell. But not for this.

Maybe it was her own doing. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe she didn't want to heal, but rather take the time to lay on the ground and bear with the pain. Maybe she was in too much pain to get up. But maybe this was how she needed to get herself going. Get comfortable talking about it and making it not so taboo. Accepting that yes, she was sexually assaulted by her ex-boyfriend, and getting the word out there could be the first of many painful steps to closure. Maybe simply talking about it could help her get up. Because for the longest time, she was too hurt, too scared to get back on her feet.

But now she had something she didn't have in those horrible moments. Something much more powerful than she could've ever imagined before. She was on the ground, she hadn't really gotten up like she thought she did. She had made progress, that was for sure. But she never truly got up. But that was okay because now she had something she never had.

Mina had a voice. And goddammit was she going to use it.

Mina took a deep breath, preparing her words. After a few moments of silence, she told Sero everything.