Work Text:
The first chill of winter leaves a biting kiss of frost over the gardens and courtyards of Qinghe, but in his room, in a soft bed hung with heavy drapes, Nie Huaisang is warm and safe, his limbs heavy with contentment, and it’s entirely due to the man sleeping beside him, arms held fast around his waist. They’ve spent three blissful days together in Qinghe, and despite Mingjue’s initial displeasure that he and Jiang Cheng had been “sneaking around,” Mingjue quickly came to accept their relationship because Jiang Cheng is an exemplary cultivator and, more importantly, because he makes Huaisang deliriously happy.
Jiang Cheng’s supposed to be sleeping, anyway. Huaisang toys with a loose strand of Jiang Cheng’s hair, and Jiang Cheng offers him a hesitant smile.
“Huaisang.”
“Hmmm?”
“Do you ever think about…”
Huaisang shifts in Jiang Cheng’s arms. “Think about what?” he asks, settling back against Jiang Cheng’s chest.
Jiang Cheng is quiet for so long that Huaisang wonders if he’s fallen back asleep, but the response comes in a whisper.
“The future,” he says.
“I try not to,” Huaisang replies, too quickly and flippantly he realizes as Jiang Cheng releases him and rolls onto his side, his back to Huaisang. “A-Cheng.”
“I’m tired,” Jiang Cheng says.
“A-Cheng, no.” Huaisang sits up and strokes Jiang Cheng’s arm. “That’s not, I didn’t mean it.”
“It’s fine.”
“No, no, it’s not.” Huaisang tugs on Jiang Cheng’s arm. “Sit up, please, and look at me.”
“It’s fine, Huaisang, let’s just sleep.”
“No.” Huaisang hooks an arm around Jiang Cheng’s torso and hauls him upright. Jiang Cheng lets out a squawk of surprise, but he allows Huaisang to arrange him so they’re sitting, facing each other. It’s too dark to see much more than the tense set of Jiang Cheng’s shoulders, so Huaisang takes his hands and focuses on the rough, familiar callouses as they drag across his palms. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
Jiang Cheng draws a shaking breath and tightens his grip on Huaisang’s hands. “Just, the future,” he says. “Do you see a future for us?”
Huaisang bites his lip to stop the easy lies that crowd his mouth, the platitudes he feeds Meng Yao or his brother. He says instead, “I can’t bear to think of a life where you’re gone.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Huaisang curses to himself — he had to go and fall for this beautiful and brilliant boy. Too many people see only Jiang Cheng’s temper, his insecurity, his pride, but Jiang Cheng pays attention.
“I could,” Huaisang says at last. He brings Jiang Cheng’s hands to his lips and kisses them. “I want to.”
Jiang Cheng sighs. “That sounds about right.” He tries to pull his hands away, but Huaisang holds tighter.
“A-Cheng,” he says, dropping his voice low, “I love you.”
Jiang Cheng’s grip turns painful, and Huaisang gasps. “Sorry, sorry,” he says, relaxing his hands. “I didn’t know.”
“Then I’m sorry,” Huaisang replies, “I’m so sorry, A-Cheng. I should have told you sooner.” He lets go of Jiang Cheng’s hands to slide into his lap and embraces him. “When I heard you were in that cave…” He can’t finish that sentence. Instead, he pulls Jiang Cheng close, hiding his face in the crook of Jiang Cheng’s neck. “I should have told you sooner.”
“I love you, too,” Jiang Cheng says, and Huaisang’s heart breaks at the quiet desperation in his voice, as if he expects to have the words flung back at him.
“A-Cheng.” Huaisang sits back and cradles Jiang Cheng’s face in his hands. “A-Cheng, my love, I—“ He cannot find the words to make Jiang Cheng understand, but perhaps it’s just as well. He’s come to realize that Jiang Cheng doesn’t trust flowery sentiment, and so he kisses him instead. He pours into it every promise he cannot say, every declaration he’s not ready to make and Jiang Cheng’s not ready to hear. It’s all that he can give in this moment, but it’s a promise he means to keep.
“I love you, Jiang Cheng. Whatever my future might hold, I don’t want it if you’re not there.”
Jiang Cheng’s response is soft, but firm. “I love you. As long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.”
“I’ll always want you, Jiang Cheng.”
“Promise?”
“I promise,” Huaisang says. He kisses Jiang Cheng and seals the bargain between them.