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English
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Published:
2020-09-13
Updated:
2020-09-13
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1,453
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1/2
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3
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90
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and just like that, i believe in ghosts

Summary:

“Star, I’m sorry...” he said, approaching the cell yet again, careful not to touch the bars. He fell to his knees. “I- I promise, I’ll get you out somehow, I’ll carry you to Ratchet and First Aid and then-”
“Too late”, Starscream spat out, “Megatron made sure that I cannot escape. Even if he himself wanted to release me, he couldn’t. And it’s all your fault.”
-
or: optimus may be bottling up more guilt over the past than he shows

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter Text

Labored, hoarse breathing met Optimus' audials as he progressed through the dark halls of the Nemesis. Faint at first, it emerged from the eerie silence of the sunken ship, the rest of its inhabitants nowhere to be seen. Occasionally it would be interrupted by a pained cough or cry, and it made the Prime's stride falter every time. Somehow he knew whose voice it was, even that far away. He felt as if he'd been walking the same corridor for hours in search of the source.

A scream, louder than before, filled the cold, lifeless air and echoed along the metallic walls. The Prime couldn't take it anymore. He ran, the clank of his pedes against the floor now drowned out by that voice. He wasn't even sure how deep inside the ship he was anymore. If he were to turn back, how long would it take him to return to his team? The questions he should have asked but didn't as the only clear directive in his processor was to find the mech on the other end of the hall.

A faint silhouette of containment cell bars surfaced from the darkness at last, along with the outline of the mech inside, curled up on the floor. Optimus almost stumbled at the sight, stopping himself a dozen feet in front of the bars. To call the sight miserable would be putting it lightly.

His Seeker was nearly unrecognizable, covered in energon, dents and cuts along every inch of his plating - where he had it, at least, as large portions of it were stripped, revealing delicate mechanisms and protoform underneath which yet again was in most places crushed. What remained of his wings dangled uselessly on his back, hacked and sliced apart, twisted in grotesque and unnatural angles. His face remained intact enough that a grimace of pain would be seen, but an optic seemed to be broken, and his side-vents torn away from his helm completely.

Optimus felt like purging, tears ebbing at the sides of his optics, yet still he approached the caged jet. Softly, he called out to him.

“Starscream?”

The one remaining optic sparked open, bright and furious and focused instantly on the mech before him. A wrathful roar sounded from his damaged throat, laced with static and audial cuts.

“YOU! How DARE you show up here!” 

Optimus touched the bars in an attempt to bend them apart, immediately struck by a hellish current that nearly offlined him right then and there. He cried out, holding his charred, now paralyzed servo close, noticing in his haze that Starscream was cackling, staring at him with vicious intensity he’d never seen before.

“You deserved that”, the Seeker said, voice weakening with every word.

The Prime stood up, hissing at the pain in his joints still steaming from the strike, and confused at his lover’s words. “Star, why would you say that?”

“YOU LEFT ME HERE TO DIE! YOU LEFT ME, YOU HAD THE OPPORTUNITY, YOU COULD HAVE TAKEN THE SHOT AT HIM, BUT NO, AND GUESS WHO PAID THE PRICE FOR THAT FAILURE?!” a powerful retort came, far louder than any other mech in such a state could have managed. Starscream’s vocalizer then shorted out, the jet growling in agony again.

“Star, I’m sorry...” he said, approaching the cell yet again, careful not to touch the bars. He fell to his knees. “I- I promise, I’ll get you out somehow, I’ll carry you to Ratchet and First Aid and then-”

“Too late”, Starscream spat out, “Megatron made sure that I cannot escape. Even if he himself wanted to release me, he couldn’t. And it’s all your fault.”

Optimus started shaking. He reached out to the bars once again with both servos, determined to ignore the pain. He gripped the bars, hard, and when the assault of electricity came, he held on, desperately trying to pry them open. He lasted for entire 3 seconds before being blasted away by the sheer force of electricity alone, this time completely unable to move. Laying on the floor, facing Starscream still, he started to weep.

“You left me here to rot and die, it’s only fitting that you perish with me as well.” Starscream’s crooked, cruel smile glistened in the dark. “Goodnight, dear Prime. May we meet in the Pits again.”

As Optimus tried reaching out to the Seeker, he felt his consciousness starting to fade. His last apology to his lover died on his numb lips, replaced by a weakly whimper, and then finally, the merciful darkness overcame him.

-

He awoke with a jolt in a familiar bed, someone pushing at his chest, a pair of red optics staring, full of concern and anxiety. He recognized them immediately, sitting up at once and wrapping the figure in a strong embrace as he dug his helm in the crook of their neck, wetting the cables there with his tears.

“Optimus?” the voice came, stable and well and full of life. Optimus’ chassis shook as he took in weak, unstable vents and tightened his hold on the Seeker. Starscream’s arms, hovering at his sides until then, settled at last upon the bigger mech’s back, petting idly.

“What happened?”

There was no answer but a shiver on the Prime’s plating and his servos gripping Starscream’s sides where they sat, where old battle-scars still traced the Seeker’s torso, his EM field sending out fear/loss/hurt. Images of the nightmare flashed through Optimus' processor once more and he jerked his head away to the other's shoulder. Starscream’s own cockpit swelled with a deep in-vent, understanding the message.

“I’m here, I’m OK.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, barely loud enough to register.

Starscream sighed. “I know.”

A few moments passed like that, the Prime seemingly unwilling, or unable, to let go. trying to convince himself his mate was really here, safe and unharmed.

At last Starscream stopped his petting, tapping instead on the other’s shoulders. “Pull away for a second, please?”

Although obviously reluctant to do so, Optimus obeyed, servos still shaking at his sides, optics directed anywhere else but Star, though in shame or some other emotion he couldn’t tell. Starscream took his helm between his own palms, and the Prime made no resistance to face him, although it now lay hidden behind his battlemask, leaving his expression unreadable. Starscream would smirk at the odd gesture if Optimus weren’t so upset. He traced a soothing circle across the side of his helm, then set his servos on his shoulders again.

“Lay down with me?”

Optimus didn’t have to be asked twice, nor did he need an invitation to wrap himself around Starscream again, though this time he was interrupted.

“Nu-huh, nope”, Starscream said, frowning ever so slightly, before setting the Prime’s head against his chest, “Like this.”

Optimus was not the one to protest, plating his helm to the other's plating, stilling his breathing so he could focus on Starscream's very being underneath. Hearing his mate’s strong sparkbeat pound against his audials dissipated a good portion of the dread in his’ field, even if he still held Starscream close as if for his dear life. That was just fine by the Seeker, though, as he continued gently stroking his mate’s helm and finials. He waited until the Prime's cycling evened out and the tremors in the arms around him disappeared. “Are you better now?”

He nodded against Starscream’s shoulder vents, cycling in another shaky breath of air. “I’m sorry.”

Starscream felt a sense of unease at the repeated apology, knowing what the words insinuated yet still unable to accept them. He steadied his servos, planting a soft kiss on Optimus’ crest. “It’s OK, go to sleep. We can talk about this in the morning.”

He nodded yet again, releasing the Seeker to assume their usual position, Optimus laying on his back, mask slid away, and Starscream nuzzling at his side, an arm draped over the bigger mech’s chest while Optimus kept one of his around Starscream’s waist as well. This time, though, he reached out his other servo to his mate’s, lacing their fingers together, and held there tightly. Starscream, surprised but amused, returned the grip. He looked upwards to see the Prime gazing at him with tired eyes.

“I love you”, he said quietly, voice still strained and a bit choked up.

“I know”, Starscream replied, pressing another kiss to Optimus’ chin, “I’m not going anywhere. Goodnight, Optimus.” He then set his helm down against the other’s window frame. He felt the Prime do the same, finally relieved of the terror that plagued his dream. The rest of the night, Starscream hoped, would be peaceful, and he gave his mate's servo one last squeeze before recharge overtook his processor.

Notes:

adventures from starop discord p2/?
i love nighmare tropes but alas op needs to get the woobie treatment sometimes methinks :pensive:
title taken from the song "smell" by sleeping at last