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Black and white and grey is the longing soul
So gaze into the eyes of your mate
For in that gaze, you will be whole
And colours shall be your fate.
Every child was sang by the parents with that pathetic attempt of a rhyme of a person who remained unknown. Still, those words carried everything you needed to hear.
Look into the eyes of your soul mate, and colour will fill your living days.
Erudian didn’t know why it was like this. He didn’t know why his ancestor made it like this. Was it a funny thing to watch in Judetta? He didn’t know.
But unlike others, he didn’t see everything as black and white. He could see three colours.
His divinity was bright and released two of them. White and another one. The third colour was something he saw every day when he glanced in the mirror.
However, he didn’t know the names of the other two.
Those who found their pairs made a ‘colour-chart’ and gave them out in case someone had found their destined. Everyone carried one inside their pockets, inside their cloaks, inside their coats. Wherever they may be in reach.
Erudian tapped his inside of his coat jacket, ensuring himself that it was there. His father had given it to him. It was his but he never did find the love of his life, his soul mate, and he had hoped in his death bed that Erudian would get the chance he didn’t, to see what those colours looked like, how the world was aside from black, grey, and white.
There were names underneath each colour in the chart and Erudian had memorized them all. He could not count how many hours he had spent staring at the folded paper, tattered and wrinkled with his use.
Red, orange, yellow, green blue, purple. He thought to himself. They’re the colours of the rainbow…
He had seen a rainbow before. Iven, who had married his soul mate, pointed to it one day and Erudian could not help but follow his eyes and finger to the grey sky.
He saw nothing but a semi-circle while his heart burned with envy when Iven exclaimed the beauty of the different colours it had.
What’s the point? Erudian thought, fury building in his throat. I won’t get the chance to marry my soul mate if Elard persists.
Soleia Elard had been sensitive and more pushy than usual, calling for his attention at every chance and opportunity that she can and always gave him eyes that one might say looked of love. But Erudian knew better than a bumbling idiot. Those eyes didn’t speak of love or sentiment. If they did, he would have seen colours. He would have seen the red, orange, yellow that Iven listed on that day he saw a rainbow.
No. Those eyes weren’t of love.
They spoke of danger.
“Your Majesty?”
Erudian blinked his daze away and looked to his right where Perrik stood, confusion and concern in his features. “Are you alright?”
“Ah, yes.” He said quietly, hands gliding away from his coat, not wanting to distract himself with nothing but wistful thoughts. “Everything’s fine.” Erudian reassured his aide and trained his eyes back to the crowd.
Lebovny, after apologizing and fixing their issues and mistakes in the Glucaman Road, hosted a ball celebrating the unity of the three nations that used the said path; Azekian, Lebovny, and Belgoat. Erudian would have sent Iven in his stead were it not for the fact that he didn’t want to separate the count from his pregnant wife.
I wonder… Erudian stopped the wishful thinking and shook himself to focus. There was no point in them if his soul mate wouldn’t show and if she did, perhaps she may be too late as he would be by then, married to another.
He made plans, thought about it, of course. Would it be alright to have her as his concubine? His mistress? His queen instead of empress? But the more he did and the more dangerous that woman looked at him, he knew only danger would come to the eyes he wanted to see. And perhaps, Elard would use his soul mate’s life for her own gain.
Erudian wanted to fight, wanted to protect the one his ancestor paired him with. But until she shows up, nothing can be done.
“-has grown pretty.”
“I hear she is close with Viscount Lebanon.”
“Lebanon again? My, they’re hogging the princesses for sure.”
Giggles erupted from the passing ladies, bowing their heads in embarrassment and hurrying away when they noticed Erudian’s eyes on them.
Princesses? He turned to Perrik. “What were they talking about?” he asked, estranged curiosity in his voice. Might as well know now in case I attend the wedding for relations.
“Ah,” Perrik shifted closer to whisper in his ear, “They were speaking of Princess Yereninovica, sire.”
Erudian let himself a moment to recall the members of the royal family. “The youngest?”
“Yes, Sire.”
“She’s engaged?”
“No, Sire. But she is of age. I hear the King treats her preciously and everyone in the kingdom adores her.”
A precious daughter. Erudian felt a smirk coming to his lips. Her father will not let go of his daughter so easily. Woe to the man who tries. “And Viscount Lebanon?”
“The Heir of House Lebanon, Sire.” Perrik informed and Erudian let himself be amazed at his aide’s memory and mind. “The princess grew up with the lad and talks of engagement has happened since their childhood. The people would have accepted of course were it not for the fact that the first princess married the Duke of Lebanon.”
“Ha…” Erudian sighed, shaking his head and crossing his arms. “What a greedy house.”
“It was a love match, Your Majesty. They are soul mates.”
Still, greedy. He didn’t say it out loud and instead chose to scan the crowds as he remained in his place by the window of the ballroom, away from others and from the crowd. “And? Where are these princesses?”
When he was presented earlier, he was immediately greeted by the King and Queen of Lebovny. He had found the couple… strange… with their height differences but he could see the love in their eyes and the way their hands held.
Erudian supressed the lurking envy once more.
How lucky… He thought. Two generations finding their love match. He looked at the glistening chandelier above. Was it silver? Was it gold? How would he know? Well, it was grey anyway. Might as well call it one of those.
“Ah, well, the first princess is in her late stages of pregnancy and is in confinement with her husband.” Perrik informed, “Princess Yereninovica…” he scanned the crowd. “I cannot say. I apologize, Your Majesty.”
Erudian nearly wanted to laugh at the look of dejection on his childhood friend. “It’s fine, Perrik. You have given me more than enough.” He assured the younger man before looking back at the crowd.
He watched the couples dance and laugh on the dance floor. The people talking and smiling at one another. There was warmth in the air and joy lingered in the air, everyone basking in it. Everyone but him.
Erudian sighed and leant on the wall, arms and legs crossed as he watched everyone dance and mingle.
Light.
His body froze and he pushed himself off the wall with what he had seen. What…?
“Your Majesty?” he heard Perrik ask, “What is it?”
“I…” Erudian scanned the crowd once more, eyes hovering back to where he had seen it. “I-I don’t know.”
“Sire?”
Dash.
“There!” he exclaimed, unaware of how it drew the attention of those near him as he grabbed Perrik’s shoulder and pointed to where he had seen light. “Did you see it?”
Perrik gave him a look of absolute confusion. “See what, Your Majesty?”
“Light!” he gasped. “… And colour…”
“… Your Majesty—Your Majesty, wait!”
But he didn’t hear anything else as Erudian rushed to where he had seen it last. Where? Where? Where? Where is it? What was it? What color? Tell me—
“Oh, Your Majesty!”
“Emperor!”
“Greetings, Your Majesty.”
Erudian ignored them all in favour of looking for the one thing that mattered most to his entire life. His heart pounded, his mind whirled, his breathing halted and none of that mattered as he had seen it. Had seen one. A colour of his divinity. A colour he did not know but wished to name.
Where?!
He spun and searched, moved to one side and then to the other. His cape flowing behind him with his movements as he could hear Perrik trying to follow him in the crowd. Eyes went to him but none of them had colour, none of them had the light.
Erudian stopped, panting and sweaty from exertion. He had never been this exhausted in his life. His eyes searched and searched but it was futile. It was gone. The light was gone.
“Your Majesty!” Perrik called and grabbed his arm, panting and out of breath from trying to catch him. “Your Majesty, please don’t do that again.”
“No,” Erudian whispered, “I don’t think I will be able to.”
With those words coming out of his lips, it felt like he was resigning himself to a life of nothing but black, grey, white, and two nameless colours he will live for his entire life. A life filled with apprehension and caution from Elard. A life filled with envy and loathing, bitter for not only disappointing his father and unfulfilling his dying wish, but for never having the person he wanted most by his side, even if he had never seen them, never met them.
A flash of light passing through the crowd was what he had of her before she was gone in his life.
For the colours to come, both mates must gaze into one another’s eyes.
… But she didn’t see me…
Erudian clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
He should not have hidden by the walls and isolated himself from the others. He should have joined the festivities and spoke with the people of Belgoat. He should have danced and mingled with them and perhaps, perhaps she might have seen.
Perhaps she could have told him what the colours of his eyes were.
And perhaps he could have told them hers.
Erudian looked down on the grey floor, dejected and lost.
“Your Majesty…” he heard the pity in his friend’s voice and swallowed himself with the same emotion.
Pity. Sympathy. Regret. Sorrow.
What a life I am to live…
He could sense the eyes of other people on him, the whispers reaching his ears, but nothing mattered anymore.
Nothing for a man who is to leave a life without colours.
“Are you alright?” a feminine voice asked but he didn’t lift his head. With his hair held back, he could see lace dress but at the same time, he saw nothing but the floor and just wanted for the marble to swallow him whole. “Hello? Can you hear me?”
Erudian could feel some of his divinity leaving him, going to the figure standing beside him but he dismissed it. Nothing mattered anymore.
“Ah, please pardon His Majesty, Princess. He had seen something and… was mistaken.” Perrik excused. Erudian closed his eyes.
No! It wasn’t a mistake!
“I see.” The woman said, too happily and Erudian closed his eyes tighter. “Well, maybe he will see it again! I’ll help if you wish, what was it?”
“Ah, well…” Perrik hesitated.
“There is no need.” Erudian finally gathered the courage to speak, eyes remained close and hands clenched at his side. I should calm myself, Perrik said this was the princess. “Thank you for your concern—“ Erudian stopped when he lifted his head to look at the princess and lost his breathing all over again.
And just like that, brightness emerged everywhere and the princess screamed in surprise while he jolted in shock.
Everything, everything, everything was bright. Everything had colours but his eyes, his eyes were only on the colour that mattered the most. He grabbed her hand and pulled the lithe body towards him.
“You.” He gasped out. “It’s you.”
Their eyes gazed at one another, unable to tear away to even glance at their bright surroundings. Those eyes that had the second colour of his divinity. Those eyes that he wished for his entire life to bring him this wondrous gift of hue.
“C-Colour…” she stammered, gaze lost in his and Erudian managed to snap out a little to grab the palette card, the colour chart in his pockets. He looked down immediately, eyes landing on the shade he wanted to see. “Sky-blue…” he whispered and she blinked when he returned her gaze. “Your eyes… they’re sky-blue.”
“O-Oh! Y-Yes? Are they?!” she gasped out, a smile and excitement in her face as she looked down at the card he was holding. “Oh! Yes! Yes! They are!” she laughed, eyes scanning the card before looking back up at him. “And yours! Yours are red!”
“T-They are?” he looked down. Red. Red. Red. He searched and found it, the first colour.
The colour he had been looking in the mirror for his whole life.
Red.
“See? Red, right? Oh, I have forgotten the names of the colours! I knew them before but somehow when I came here I have forgotten them!”
The crowd watched them, muttering and whispering but for the two wrapped up with each other, it didn’t matter. They found each other, they found colour in their lives.
I found you.
Erudian leant down and pressed his lips against her soft ones. There was a muffled sound of surprise before she reciprocated and before long, they were snogging right there in the middle of the dance floor. Her hands on his hair, his pushing her back to him.
A blast of divinity left him and went to the female in his arms. Erudian was fine with it. He was willing to give everything he had for her and more.
They found each other and Erudian could not help but feel the burden in his shoulders float away.
“What is the meaning of this, Emperor Erudian?!”
A shout and his soul mate squeaked, trying to push him away but Erudian would not have it. He finally had her, found her.
Well, she found me…
The red-faced King of Lebovny stomped his way towards them. In his mind, Erudian did his utmost best to not compare the small man to a tomato with his hair and face.
“How dare you?!”
“Husband, wait!” his wife tried to stop him but the King marched on from his place on the dais.
Erudian straightened his back, ready to face the coming storm of an angry and doting father. Turns out the woeful man was me. He laughed to himself but he didn’t mind. He did say he was ready to fight for her, no matter who she was.
“W-Wait…” a small voice in his arms let out and he looked down at the ink (he checked the card in his hands subtly to know). “Y-You’re… the emperor?”
“Yes?” Erudian answered. Did she not know?
There was a pale look in her face and Erudian panicked. Did she not want him? Did she fear him?
“You have to survive!” she hissed at him, grabbing his hands. “You have to live, Father!”
“W-What?” he gawked at his soul mate. “Father? And I,” he looked at the furious king in front of them. “I… can handle your father, Princess.”
“That’s not what I meant!”
“Then—“
“Live and then marry me, do you understand?!”
“Yerenica!”
Ah… Erudian smiled at his soul mate. You really do bring colour to my life.
And with those eyes sparkling underneath the yellow (he had to check the chart again) lights from the chandeliers, he knew those gorgeous blue eyes will always bring life and colour to him.
Colours, what a wonder they are
Eyes that shine like the star
How you bring colour to my life
And with that, I wish to make you my wife.