Work Text:
Of all the near death experiences Midoriya has faced, cleaning out the common area's fridge was on the top of the list. There were things in there that predate God. No amount of bleach could remove the stain left by Kaminari's expired sushi, and he was pretty sure the cheese Aoyama brought from home was alive and plotting to kill them all. Something twitched in the back corner of the freezer and Midoriya quickly slammed the door shut. For good measure he activated One For All and snapped off the handle. Whatever was in there thumped hard against the closed fridge doors, rattling the hinges with the force of the blow. Midoriya screeched and scrambled away.
" Oi, shitty Deku. You done cleaning the kitchen?"
Midoriya looked up, laughing off the last of his nerves. "Oh, uh yeah! I just finished actually, but I think we're gonna need a new fridge. Did you get all the trash from the third floor, Kacchan?"
Bakugou grunted and held up two bulging bags.
"Okay, I can grab the rest of the garbage from the kitchen, and then we should be done for the day!" Midoriya smiled nervously and picked up the last trash bag, gestured to the door with his free hand. "Do... you want to head out there together?"
" Fuck no -" Bakugou started, before cutting himself off. He cleared his throat and looked away. "It would be easier if I just did it myself." He grabbed the bag from Midoriya and slung it over his shoulder. Under his breath he added, "You already did too fuckin' much today shitty nerd. Go take a shower or something, you're disgusting"
Midoriya frowned, opening his mouth to retort. He had really only cleaned the first floor, Kacchan was the one who did all of the work, but then he caught sight of his hands.
"Elugh, I'm a mess," he muttered, looking at the mold and dust coating his fingertips. Seriously, for a class of heroes, no one in their dorm was actually tidy. ' I have a new respect for the cleaning staff, ' Midoriya thought, staggering towards the bathroom. He vowed that once his punishment was up, he would make the rest of his class start taking better care of their dorm building.
"HEY! FUCKER! WAIT A SECOND!" Bakugou hollered, poking his head out from the back door. Midoriya jumped and quickly spun around.
"Wh-what's up Kacchan?" He asked, preparing for just about anything.
"What are you doing later today?"
... That, he was not prepared for.
"Ehh... well, nothing really. Since we can't leave the dorms, I was planning on studying. I can't fall behind now, after all!" Midoriya scratched his cheek absentmindedly. ' Where the hell had this come from? '
Bakugou scowled, "Come to town with me."
Midoriya blinked slowly, trying to compute what Bakugou had just said. Logically, Midoriya understood that Bakugou had told him to go into town. With him. Together. Of course, it made no sense. Unconsciously, he clenched his fist.
"I thought w -"
Bakugou swallowed hard, and quickly added, "I already asked shitty Sleeping Beauty, he said it's fine. So fuckin' take a shower and meet me down here, okay?"
'Aizawa-sensei said it was okay?' Midoriya's eyes widened in shock. That made even less sense. Aizawa-sensei was the first to veto any excursion into town, nevertheless one involving his two 'problem children'. Bakugou must have been lying. That was the only explanation.
Belatedly, Midoriya remembered that Bakugou didn't ever lie. Not to him, at least. This must have been about something else. Rolling back on the balls of his feet, Midoriya looked up at the ceiling. He thought back to every time his rival had asked to meet up with him privately. All at once, their battle at Ground Beta came back to him. All the pain that Bakugou had been carrying ever since he had been kidnapped. The guilt, for what had happened to their hero, All Might. Midoriya shook his head. He shouldn't assume Bakugou was trying to trick him, or to hurt him. Bakugou was in a lot of pain, and this could be his only way of reaching out for help.
"Okay," Midoriya said after mulling it over.
Bakugou's eyes widened in shock. "Uh. Yeah, okay. Wear something nice, mh?"
"Something nice? Where are we going?" Midoriya asked, but the room was empty. Bakugou had already left to finish his chores.
Well, there was no use waiting around. He shrugged and headed to the bathroom. He quickly started up the shower, scrubbing hard at the mold on his fingers. After thoroughly decontaminating his skin, Midoriya made his way upstairs. He could hear several people laughing from Ochacho’s room, but for some reason it left his stomach feeling hollow.
Once entering his room, he breathed out a lengthy sigh. He had no clue what was going on, but the last thing he wanted to do was shatter this fragile truce he and Kacchan shared. So, unsure of what he was going to find, he started going through his closet.
'Something nice, something nice, something...' Midoriya's thoughts trailed off as he skimmed through his clothes. He stopped, his hands running over a plain button-down. Was it too nice? Maybe if he didn't wear a tie, he could pull off that casual business look that he saw on TV. He shook his head and pulled it off of the hanger. Eh, why not?
He grabbed a pair of nice grey chinos to go with, and quickly changed. They were from Best Jeanist's fashion line, and Midoyria hoped that Bakugou wouldn't notice the Fiber Hero's symbol on the back pocket. He gave his hair one last pat dry with his towel and threw it in the hamper. Well, he looked nice enough. Might as well go meet Bakugou now.
" Wow Midoyria, you look like you actually know how to dress yourself for once. You have a date or something?" Kaminari poked his head out from his room.
"Nah, I'm just heading into town with Kacchan," He pointedly looked away to hide his blush. Why was he blushing? This wasn't a date. Kacchan wasn't someone he wanted to date, or at least he didn't think he wanted to. His feelings ran far too deep and far too complex for something as simple as a date.
"Oh, so he asked you? Good. He mentioned something about it earlier," Kaminari frowned, stepping fully into the hallway. "I'm gonna be honest man, I don't think Bakugou's okay. I know you two had some sort of showdown, but even after that he's been kinda shaky. Keep an eye on him, yeah?"
Midoriya nodded. "You're a good friend Kaminari."
"Nah, I just owe him one. He beat the shit out of Monoma for misgendering me, so I'm obligated to do the same for him. Otherwise I would break the very foundation of bro-code." Kaminari winked and held his hands in the air, as if he was quoting sacred text. "Thou shalt not leave a bro behind, even if he is a bitch-baby sometimes."
Midoriya laughed, and patted Kaminari on the shoulder. He felt a little better, knowing his friends were watching out for each other.
But he was totally going to beat the shit out of Monoma for misgendering his friend.
The common room was empty when he finally arrived. He looked at his watch and was shocked to find it was already close to 6:00. Were they going out for food or something? Midoriya frowned, rubbing his lower lip thoughtfully.
' Well, if we are going to eat out in town, Kacchan's plan could be to have a fun outing, as an apology for getting us in trouble - but that wouldn't explain the fancy clothing. This could have to do with his mom, she always preferred them looking nice. But there's no way Kacchan would willingly visit his parents, especially not if he was in trouble. And anyway, why would he bother asking me to c - '
Fingers lightly tapping his shoulder snapped him out of his mumbling, and Midoriya turned to see Bakugou behind him.
"Oh, hi Kacch..." Midoriya's words trailed off as he got a full look at his rival. His eyes were red and puffy, as if he had been crying. He had on a crisp black button-down shirt on, with a silver-embroidered vest resting over it. He had paired it with pale blue skinny jeans, and black leather loafers. But what had really caught Midoriya's attention was Bakugou's hair. It was neatly combed down, arranged precisely on his head - except for a single cowlick right over his eyes.
"You look -" Bakugou cut himself off, cross eyed, as Midoriya reached up to smooth his cowlick down.
"I feel underdressed," Midoriya said, but he was smiling. Kacchan's confidence gave him a natural aesthetic, but it was nice to see him have to try every once in a while.
"Shut up fuckin' pine tree, you look fine. We should go," Bakugou grumbled, halfheartedly swatting away Midoriya's hand.
"So are you going to tell me where we're going now?" Midoryia quirked an eyebrow as they walked out the dorm. Bakugou shook his head.
"I... Just trust me. Please."
Midoriya nodded, frowning. 'Kacchan said please,' he thought to himself. 'This is something he's really serious about.' The two rivals walked in silence after that, taking in their surroundings. It was nice to get out and enjoy the fresh air. Midoriya hadn't realized how cooped up he had been feeling until now, and he grinned as he stretched in the sunlight.
Bakugou smirked, and opened his mouth to say something, but must have thought better of it because he closed his mouth again without a word. Shit, this silence was starting to get a little awkward. But what could Midoriya do? He hardly even knew where they were going, nevertheless what was okay to say. Obviously Kacchan was hurting, and Midoriya felt obligated to say something. Friends usually joked around, right?
That felt.. wrong though. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, the idea to just treat this like a casual affair. Bakugou's eyes had already lost a lot of the puffiness from before, but it was still obvious that he had cried over something. Should he offer his support? A friend would offer some words of encouragement, or maybe ask what's wrong. A... A boyfriend would just hug them, tell them it was going to be okay, because they had an unspoken understanding of each other. But, they weren't boyfriends. Hell, were they even friends? Something...else? It was a blatant lie to say that they felt nothing for each other, but Midoriya had no clue what he really meant to Kacchan. ' What should he say? What was off limits?' Midoriya had no clue how to go about this.
"Shit, I have no clue how to go about this," Bakugou growled once the silence grew unbearable.
Without meaning to, Midoriya burst out laughing. Bakugou raised an eyebrow, his metaphorical hackles rising.
"No, I'm sorry - hah, I mean no offense," Midoriya said, trying to catch his breath. "I was just thinking the same thing, is all."
Bakugou huffed out a breath, and smiled ruefully. "I swear to god if you say some shitty mantra I will punch you so hard your grandchildren will be born with my fist imprinted in their face"
"Well," Midoriya's smile turned feral, "You know Kachan, ‘great minds think alike, small minds rarely differ ’."
Bakugou shrieked, but he was smiling. "Fuck off Deku I am not small-minded."
“Say that again with my real name and maybe I’ll believe you,” Midoryia laughed.
By now they had made their way into town, falling back into their easy banter. It was nice to just bicker again, especially now that there wasn't any real heat behind it.But, as most of their conversations tended to drift to nowadays, the topic quickly jumped to heroes and quirks.
" - Yeah, but we don’t know how Eraserhead’s quirk works. Therefore it’s not fair to claim that he can’t cancel Hakagure’s invisibility quirk Kacchan, your argument is flawed."
"Oh, fuck off with that shitty Deku, what is there to cancel? Quirks like hers are different from the shitty emitter quirks. Just face it, Trashman is not able to cancel quirks that permanently alter the body.”
“But Kacchan, it’s not like she doesn’t have a body at all. She wasn’t born invisible - quirks don’t tend to manifest until 4 or 5. Plus, we don’t know if he suppresses the reaction of the quirk in the body or the cells themself. So hypothetically, he could cancel just about any quirk.”
".... So if he looks into a mirror - "
“ - oh my god if he looks into a mirror! Holy shit! Kacchan I didn’t even think of that! D’you think we could convince him to?! Because how can you cancel - ”
“- how can you cancel your own cancelling quirk! FUCK GODDAMN IT NOW THAT’S ALL I’M GONNA BE THINKING ABOUT NOW DEKU! STOP MAKING ME THINK SO DAMN HARD!”
Midoriya doubled over with laughter, placing a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder to keep himself steady. Bakugou growled, but didn’t move to shake off his rival. Instead, he grabbed Midoriya's arm to keep him from moving forward. He gestured to the flower shop that they had stopped in front of.
"Oi, we need to stop here first."
"Oh, okay." Midoriya stopped himself from asking why. At this point he was resolved to just go with whatever Bakugou was planning. They walked in together, elbows brushing. From somewhere above them, a bell jingled softly. The store was quaint, with a cozy cottage feel to it. Tied-off bundles of flowers lined the shelves, and a wild assortment of vases were in the center of the store. Herbs and stalks of leaves were hanging from the ceiling. There was a thin layer of dirt coating the floorboards. Surprisingly, the room was not overwhelmingly scented, and only a faint natural scent came from the flowers. It was... really nice. Bakugou's eyes drifted through the store, before he sighed and walked up to the counter.
"Hello?" He asked, voice gravelly.
"One minute," a feeble voice called from the back.
"I have an order, for Katsuki?" Bakugou called out. "Spelt K -"
"Oh, yes! I was expecting you!" An old lady poked her head out from behind the counter. Her hair was a blooming spiral of flowers, and her eyes were honey-colored. She quickly rushed around the store, surprisingly spry for an elder. In no time at all she had Bakugou's order on the counter.
"You know, it's so refreshing to get a customer who actually speaks the language. Do you know how many times I've had a request for carnations and lavender? And then they have the gall to throw fern in the mix. Fern! Can you believe it?"
Midoriya was lost but Bakugou, for some reason, looked like he completely understood. "Oi, trust me, I know how you feel. It's annoying as hell! Especially during Valentine's day - the amount of yellow roses I get is insulting."
The shopkeeper laughed, and turned the finished bouquet to the boys. "Well, you can't fault ignorance. Anyway, here's your order: hydrangeas as a base, pink carnation fillers, willow branches for stability, and zinnia to round it out." She handed the bouquet to Bakugou, and clicked her tongue.
"Whoever is getting that must be special, huh. I'm sure they'll understand." She said, patting Bakugou's hand reassuringly.
Bakugou nodded stiffly, "How much?"
She shook her head, "Don't bother, I recognize you two from TV. You're those heroes from UA, yeah? I'm sure I can treat two future pros to a free bouquet, especially one so well thought out."
Bakugou’s lips quirked up into a halfhearted smile, and he nodded briskly in thanks. Midoriya's eyes shined.
"That's very sweet of you ma'am, we really appreciate it. Are you sure we can't repay you in any way, though?"
"Oh sure you can repay me," she grinned. "Just remember to give me a shoutout next time you two are on TV!"
Midoriya chuckled, and with a wave goodbye he and Bakugou left the store. They walked a way's further before Bakugou spoke.
"During my internship, we had to learn about fuckin' flowers. Apparently there's some shitty language tied to them... my mentor said we have to learn it so if we ever give flowers to a victim or their family, we don't offend them by accident."
Miodriya nodded. That was actually a really thoughtful idea. "It sounds smart! Would you consider teaching it to me sometime?"
Bakugou snorted. "Idiot Deku, why would I teach flowery shit to you? Just Google it or something, it really only matters in certain situations."
Midoriya shook his head. "I don't know Kacchan, it doesn’t look that way to me. The way you talked so easily to that store owner makes me wonder if it's more valuable than you think. Maybe not the flowers themselves, but the way they make you view things. Plus, knowing something that people are passionate about gives a new layer to how you treat them, and I think that's for the better."
"Oh my fucking god," Bakugou groaned, eyes rolling in the back of his head, "if you give me one more life lesson I will be forced to explode your face off so hard that your own dad won't recognize you... oh wait nevermind, your dad's a piece of shit who left us."
"What ' us ' Kacchan, if I recall he left me ." Midoriya snorted loudly.
"Bitch no, the fuck? I was over at your house enough that we became a package deal, which means he abandoned me too." Bakugou laughed, running his hand through his hair absentmindedly. His carefully styled locks sprung up in all directions.
"Aww, Kacchan! You messed up your hair!" Midoriya pouted. "Here, let me -"
"STAY AWAY SHITTY DEKU I CAN FIX IT!" Bakugou hollered, but no matter how much he fussed, his hair refused to cooperate. Midoriya smiled fondly, reaching out again to help, when he realized that Bakugou wasn't smiling. His hand was furiously pulling at his hair, and he was hyperventilating.
"Kacchan?" Midoriya asked quietly, hand suspended in the air, "Are you okay?"
Bakugou was quiet for a while, hand falling limp at his side. Midoriya waited patiently for an answer, but he was worried that something was seriously eating at his ... well, whatever Kacchan was to him. After a moment, he decided that he should at least show some support. He gently rested his hand on Bakugou's shoulder, and was surprised to feel him lean into the touch.
"Fuckin' man up Katsuki." he muttered hoarsely to himself. His grip on the bouquet tightened. "You can't keep running away from this."
He stopped walking, and belatedly Midoriya realized it was because they were at their destination - the Kamino City Hospital .
"Are we here to visit someone?" Midoriya probed gently, studying the hospital. He had never stayed at this one as a patient, but most of the buildings were set up the same. This hospital was tall and square, with several different wings spreading out from the center like arteries. There were floor-to-ceiling windows facing the entrance, reflecting the light from the setting sun, and admittedly this hospital looked quite nice compared to others Midoriya had visited in the past.
"Jeanist," Bakugou whispered.
"Huh?"
"We're here to visit Best Jeanist," Bakugou was shaking like a leaf, face pale. Tears were pooling in his eyes but refusing to shed. "I... I never visited him, not even once I was discharged after the attack. He's in there because of me and I didn't even bother showing up -"
"What do you mean he's in there because of you Kacchan?" Midoriya interrupted, placing both hands on Bakugou's shoulders. "Remember what All Might said, you can't blame yourself for what happened. You didn't ask to be captured by those villains."
"The hell I didn't. You didn't see them, Deku. They acted like... Like I was already one of them. L-like I was already a villian," Bakugou shuddered. "And the worst part was, f-for a moment I believed it too. Sometimes, when I look at you, I still believe it."
Midoriya flinched. "No, don't say th - "
"Best Jeanist warned me. He called me out on my shitty-ass attitude. And I didn't listen . I acted like a fucking villian again and again to the point where the literal League of Villians thought I was shitty enough to join them. And look what happened because of it."
Miodriya shook his head. "That's not true. Kacch -"
"Everytime I close my eyes, I relive what happened," Bakugou gasped raggedly, tears spilling down his face. "How a weakling like you managed to save me but I couldn't even lift a finger to help the heroes I look up to. I asked Aizawa-sensei, and he said Jeanist lost a lung. My own mentor fucking got torn apart because of me an -"
Bakugou's face snapped sideways with the force of Midoriya's slap.
"Calm down Katsuki. Look at me." Midoriya's hands were shaking, but he pressed them to Bakugou's face anyway. "What happened to Best Jeanist was a nightmare, but it wasn't because of you. So focus on what you can control. Take a deep breath, in and out." Midoriya took Bakugou's free hand and placed it on his chest. "Follow my breathing, in and out. Deep, deep breaths."
After a few shuddering gasps, Bakugou's panic subsided. He aligned his breathing with Midoriya, and sighed deeply.
"I...I'm fine now," He mumbled. "I think I just.. fuckin' lost my head a bit."
"Does that happen often?" Midoriya murmured. Bakugou thought for a moment, and then nodded. Midoriya frowned, filing that away for later.
"I know it's not my fault, or your fault, or anyone's fault." Bakugou paused, clenching his fist. "I know I'm not supposed to blame myself for what happened to All Might or his retirement, and I'm trying not to. But fucking hell, I can't help but feel like I'm the one responsible for what happened to Jeanist." He shook his head before Midoriya could interrupt. "And before you open your fuckin' mouth, let me finish. I couldn't bring myself to face him, after everything that had happened. I just kind of avoided thinking about it. And then, you fought me. And you told me it wasn't my fault. And All Might told me it wasn't my fault. Even Aizawa said it wasn’t because of me. It's almost like everyone just forgot how much of a... a fucking piece of shit I am. And suddenly, all I could think about was seeing Jeanist. Getting closure, or whatever the fuck Aizawa called it. I should have respected my damn mentor enough to visit him in his time of need. So I asked, and the old man let us come - even though we're on house arrest."
"Why did you ask me to come with you? This sounds like it's something that you'd want to do by yourself." Midoriya asked, unsure of what to do with all of this information. His heart was breaking at the sight of his rival so destroyed by guilt, but that didn't explain why he was here with him.
"... I was afraid to go in alone." he whispered breathlessly.
Midoriya understood what he meant. After what had happened with All For One, Midoryia almost couldn’t face the idea of meeting back up with All Might. Midoryia had gone so numb, he was lucky he even made it to the beach at all. Understandably, Bakugou must have been feeling that fear on an exponential level.
More than that, Midoriya was the only other person who knew how Bakugou really felt about everything. Their fight at Ground Beta had ripped down a lot of personal barriers, but it was only the first step towards fixing things. Even if their classmates did understand what Bakugou was going through, it wouldn't change the fact that fundamentally, Midoriya and Bakugou had the same guilt plaguing them. 'Naturally, he would turn to me for something like this ,' Midoriya thought to himself. 'If I were in his situation, I would do the same.'
Bakugou muttered under his breath, "I know you risked a lot, telling me about you and All Might. I figured this would show you that I trust you too, or something. I get it though. It was selfish of me to assume you wanted to come, after all I'd done to you ..."
Bakugou's words trailed off, but Midoriya knew what he was trying to say. Taking a deep breath, Midoriya prepared for the worst. Then, he tentatively wrapped his arms around Bakugou. His rival stiffened, but since Midoriya still had his face he assumed this was okay.
"I think you forget sometimes that I don't hate you." Midoriya whispered. He tightened his grip, and Bakugou's arms twitched. Midoriya could smell the burnt caramel that usually precursored an explosion, but he still had all of his fingers so he assumed this was okay.
"You should," Bakugou admitted, before practically collapsing into Midoriya's arms. He buried his face into Midoriya's shoulder and clung to his rival as he spoke. "You should despise me."
"Katsuki, you are not a villain. Get that stupid idea out of your head. You hurt me, a lot, but I'm the one who gets to decide how I feel about that. It's my choice, so don't put words in my mouth. I want to be here. I know you’re probably going to hit me later for saying this, but I care about you. You're... something to me, but that something is so... it scares me sometimes, how many emotions I feel at once when I look at you. So don't apologize for inviting me, I trust you with my life and I want to support you. And I'm grateful that you want to trust me, too. Back at Ground Beta you said that you think I'm hiding something, or I'm hard to read, or that I'm making fun of you. I need you to understand, right now, that I never wanted to make you feel that way. I can't lie to you, even when I was supposed to. So when I tell you all of this, I mean it." Midoriya buried his face into Bakugou's chest, trying to find his next words. For a moment they just held each other.
"And when I tell you that Best Jeanist is not blaming you for what happened, I mean it. You got targeted because you're strong, and you stood out on TV. The League didn't capture you because you were a villain, they captured you because you were recognizable. And yeah, your adittude is fucking awful, but you're working on it. If they can't see that you're trying harder than anyone to be number one, then they're some dumb-ass villians," Midoriya laughed, and he heard Bakugou make a wet noise that could have been a laugh as well.
"You're not weak for being unable to take on the entire League single-handedly, Kacchan you're still a 1st year! You shouldn't have been forced into that situation at all, but you're not weak from the outcome. So stop trying so hard to punish yourself for things out of your control! You're not in middle school anymore, and I wish you would realize that. Because I'm sure Best Jeanist has. He saw what your future could be, not what was in your past. Remember that he picked you, and he wanted to be a part of your journey. So trust your mentor to understand that none of this was your fault. Because right now, the only one thinking that is you."
Bakugou nodded. He squeezed tightly before letting go of Midoriya. "....You're right."
Midoriya raised an eyebrow, looping his arm with Bakugou's. "Um, I'm sorry Kacchan, I don't think I heard you correctly. Could you repeat that?"
Bakugou snorted wetly, "Fuck off shitty nerd I'm not saying it again."
"Aww, please? I want to make it my ringtone," Midoriya grinned, as he started to slowly pull Bakugou towards the hospital entrance.
"I will fucking demolish you, shitty 'zuku. The doctors won't be able to tell which end is your head and which is your ass." Bakugou hesitated, but allowed himself to be pulled into the reception room. Before they went to the front desk, the two students got themselves cleaned up in the bathroom. Bakugou attempted once more to style his hair, but only half of it behaved. Midoriya sighed and ran his fingers through Bakugou's hair, gently coaxing it back to it's natural mess of blonde spikes.
"Just let it be. You look better that way anyway." Midoriya smiled. They both still looked like they had just cried in a hospital parking lot, but luckily the worst of the puffiness had subsided from Bakugou's cheeks.
"Okay. Let's go get this over with," Bakugou jumped up and down, psyching himself up. He was shaking his hands side to side, as if preparing for a boxing match. It felt wrong to watch him have to actually try to work up the confidence that came so naturally to him, but Midoriya wouldn't say anything. Kacchan wasn't weak, even if it was hard for him to look tough sometimes.
"I'VE GOT THIS!" He hollered suddenly, grabbing the bouquet and kicking the bathroom door open.
"You've got this, Kacchan!" Midoriya cheered as he followed him to the front desk.
The man at the front desk looked unamused as the two students walked determinedly towards him. "Name?"
"Katsuki Bakugou," he said confidently.
"Why are you here?"
"To visit Tsunagu Hakamata," Bakugou clenched his fist. "I'm his intern."
The receptionist lazily turned to his computer and typed something out. He stared at his screen for a while before looking back up.
"Name?"
"Uhh... Izuku Midoriya?"
"Is that a question?"
"N-No! My name is Izuku Midoriya!"
The receptionist rolled his eyes. "Are you also an intern of Hakamata's?"
Izuku started to shake his head but Katsuki slammed his hand on the counter. "Yes! He is! We are both damn interns. Can we see our boss now?"
The receptionist squinted hard at the two of them, before shrugging and handing Bakugou two visitor's passes.
"Put those on your shirts. He's on floor three, room 364. Visiting hours end at 8:00." And just like that the receptionist went back to typing as if they weren't even there. The boys turned to each other and shrugged, before heading towards the elevators. The hospital was pretty empty at this time of day, but there were still a few people milling around.
Bakugou jammed his finger repeatedly on the up button, but the elevator still took it's sweet time. Midoriya took the chance to study Bakugou again. In the wake of all the emotional turmoil, he still looked well put together. His shirt had been rucked up, but it gave him a more casual look that paired nicely with his natural hair. And, well, his ass looked really nice in his jeans.
'His jeans... The Fiber Hero's fashion line... His... Ass... Oh, no...'
A growing fear bubbled up in Midoriya's chest. Shaking, he craned his neck to look at his back pocket. 'Shit, it was so obvious!' Best Jeanist's logo was practically stamped on Midoryia's ass. Oh man, why the hell did he always have to buy hero merchandise?! Just once he should have bought a pair of normal pants!
With shaky hands, Midoriya reached out and grabbed Bakugou's shirt sleeve. He tugged gently, "Kacchan, we have to stop. I can't go up there."
Bakugou frowned. "What? Why?"
" I'm wearing his pants !"
"What the hell do you mean shitty nerd?"
"Bakugou look at my ass . I'm wearing Jeanist's pants!"
Bakugou leaned back, stared for a long time, and then quickly looked forward again. "Who's?"
"Best Jeanists!"
Bakugou squinted at Midoriya for a moment, eyes unreadable. "Is this a joke or something?"
"Of course it's not a joke!" Midoriya panicked, "I can't go up there wearing pants from his fashion line! What if he thinks I'm mocking him? Or worse, what if it reminds him about -"
"- Hey dumbass, I'm wearing his jeans too." Bakugou interrupted. "What the hell else would he want me to wear?"
Midoriya cocked his head to the side, confused. Bakugou rolled his eyes, and sighed loudly.
"Oh my god , d'you really think Jeanist, who knows all sorts of shit about clothing, would want the people he's associated with wearing anything other than his brand? Fuckin' hell Deku of course he'd be okay with it. He prefers it."
Midoriya took a deep breath, and smiled. "Oh, okay good. I didn't want to upset him or something."
Bakugou frowned, studying Midoriya. "You were actually worried about that?"
"Of course!" Midoriya smiled encouragingly, "I really admire Best Jeanist, so the last thing I would want to do is make him upset or uncomfortable. And I guess... I just forget sometimes that not all heroes are embarrassed by fanboys wearing their merch, you know?"
Bakugou shook his head. "Sometimes you're so fuckin' nice it physically hurts my brain."
A loud ding interrupted their conversation, and the two students quickly rushed in before they could second-guess themselves. They rode the elevator in comfortable silence, but all too quickly they found themselves standing in front of room 364.
"You ready?" Midoriya asked softly. Bakugou brushed his knuckles against Midoriya's and said nothing.
"It'll be okay. You can do this."
Bakugou nodded wearily and opened the door.
The last glimmer of sunlight was peaking into Jeanist's room, casting long shadows over the doorway. There wasn't a lot of furniture in the room, and what furniture was there had been overtaken with medical equipment. Only one single chair had remained empty, and it had been pulled up to rest next to the hospital bed. On the windowsill, a vase of wilted flowers - red roses, it looked like - rested listlessly. The Fiber Hero was awake, and sitting up in his bed. He had a tray over his lap, and on it rested a thick newspaper. He looked pained as he read, and Midoriya could see that because... his cowl was off.
Best Jeanist, or just Tsunagu Hakamata now, was surprisingly average looking. His nose was a little long, his chin pointy, and his neck just shy of unnaturally long. Even so, his face held a natural elegance to it. His jawline was sharp, his cheekbones high, and his eyes were stern. And above all else, he still had his signature side swept hair. As shocking as it was to see, without his denim cowl Midoriya could still recognize him as the number 4 hero.
Bakugou's mouth was gaping though, he looked shell shocked. Midoriya wondered if this was the first time he had seen his mentor's real face. Or, no. Hakamata's torso was covered in thick white bandages, but the breathing tube could still be seen feeding into his chest. It must have been hard for Bakugou to see that even when he was bandaged up, Best Jeanist looked like he was in bad shape.
"Are you going to stand in my doorway all night, or are you going to come in?" Hakamata deadpanned, his voice raspy. "Because I do want to get some beauty sle -"
"Eh...Hi, Jeanist." Bakugou fumbled, shifting from side to side. Immediately Hakamata's head snapped up, eyes wide in shock.
"B-Bakugou?" the pro hero quickly put the article down and leaned over his bed-tray, trying to get a better look. "Bakugou Katsuki?"
"Who else?" Bakugou growled.
"Oh, I just.. Uh..." Jeanist paused, composing himself. "Come in, of course."
Wordlessly, Bakugouu moved to his mentor's side. With a disgusted curl of his lip, he reached for the wilted flowers and threw them away. He gruffly shoved his own bouquet in their place, and he spent several minutes fiddling aimlessly with the arrangement before he spoke.
"I got you some shitty flowers. Did no one else take your dumbass class seriously, or something?"
Best Jeanist snorted. "Actually Mt. Lady got those for me. She means well, even if she doesn't understand it."
Bakugou nodded curtly, but said nothing.
"... Are you here for a reason, Bakugou?" Jeanist asked after the silence grew stale.
Bakugou flinched, and headed for the door. " Fuck no , I just came because you're a fucking prude and I knew you'd want a good bunch of shitty flowers to keep you entertained, but I'm not staying - "
Midoriya grabbed his rival's wrist, steadying him. He leaned in close and whispered, "Kacchan, you can do this. You need to get these feelings off of your chest. I'm right here with you, okay?"
Bakugou clenched his fist, but didn't fight back. Midorya allowed him to silently prepare his apology, but he knew Best Jeanist would be confused by the silence. As he looked up, he saw that Hakamata was indeed about to interrupt. Midoriya shook his head. He knew that Bakugou was just trying to work out what he needed to say. After a moment, Bakugou spoke aloud.
"I'm sorry, Tsunagu. It's my fault you're here. I should have listened to your teachings, and I'm sorry."
"Katsuki, wait," Hakamata gestured to the empty chair. "Please sit for a moment."
Bakugou shook his head, but with an encouraging shove from Midoriya, he made his way over to his mentor's side anyway.
"All Might had warned me you feel responsible for what happened," Best Jeanist grabbed Bakugou's hand and squeezed it tightly.
"I am truly sorry that you feel at fault here, Katsuki, but you are not the one who forced me here. Please do not blame yourself for my injuries. I knew the risks when I agreed to join the raid, and as a professional I did what I felt was right. You were the victim , not the problem, and you should never confuse the two. So please, do not hold onto this guilt."
Bakugou gritted his teeth. "You don't understand, I shouldn't have allowed myself to be captured at all . All Might retired because I was too weak . You... You lost your lung because I was too wea - "
"- Your only weakness is your pride Katsuki Bakugou. From the moment I had heard of your capture, I had faith in you. I knew that you would be unleashing hell on those villains, so I believed it was only fair of me to do the same. I do not regret my injuries." Best Jeanist frowned, "But I regret not being more upfront with how much respect I have for you. Your whole life you have been praised for your quirk, but I had faith in you because of your heart. And I had thought that if I had focused on criticizing your flaws, I could help you keep your pride in check. I could help you understand that your self-worth was not tied to your power. I see now that because I had remained silent, all I did was encourage the same toxic mentality that you had believed from the start. You are not weak , not now and not ever. But your pride prevents you from understanding that admitting when you can't go on is not the same as admitting you aren't worthy of the chance to."
"I was so scared, sir." Bakugou sobbed, leaning forward to rest his head on Best Jeanist's bed. His mentor sighed, running his fingers through Bakugou's hair.
"I know. I was, too. I am sorry I could not help you. But we must feel this fear, and then let it go. Otherwise it will consume us."
Bakugou nodded, and the room remained suspended in grief for a while, tears flowing freely. The sun had officially gone down by the time Bakugou had stopped crying. He rubbed his face, but he no longer looked as defeated as he did before.
"Anyways," he sighed, his voice hoarse, "I guess while I'm at this shitty fuckin' hospital, I should fill you in on some of the shit that's been happening."
Bakugou looked over. Midoriya was still standing in the doorway, unwilling to intrude.
"Oi, soggy broccoli. Come over here and help me fill the old man in."
Midoriya gulped, but moved to stand closer to Bakugou. His rival rolled his eyes and began to talk about some of the new policies that were put in place in the wake of the Kamino Incident. Midoriya would jump in from time to time, but his comments were brief. He still felt like he was witnessing something that should have been private, and it left Midoriya with a bitter taste in his mouth.
"- and to ensure our stupid saftey or whatever, all the extras live in dorms now. Sleeping Bag is gonna live on campus with us, since he's our teacher. All Might mentioned he wanted to as well, but for some fuckin' he hasn't made it official yet. Apparently, he has to finalize some shit for his retirement first."
"I had heard the news, about All Might's retirement from Number One. At first I didn't believe it, but after I had gotten his call I feared it was true. So, All for One? What really happened to him?" Jeanist said nervously, rubbing at his chest.
"He's locked up in the most secure cell in Tartarus," Midoriya said softly. "All Might made sure of that before he retired."
Jeanist nodded, and turned fully to the two students. "Well, then. It looks like you two are both holding onto this ludicrous idea that the whole incident was your fault. "
The room fell silent. Jeanist shook his head, tightening his left hand around Bakugou's. With his right, he reached out and grabbed Midoriya's hand. He brought the two boys's hands close to his chest, over his bandages.
"With two top heroes out of commission, times are getting truly dangerous. I'm... I'm sidelined for good I fear. So, it seems like there's only one solution. You both have to grow strong enough to take All Might's place as Symbols of Peace. Make me proud to call you two heroes."
Midoriya's heart shattered. 'He couldn't even save Kacchan, and yet they expected him to be a Symbol of Peace?'
"- 're right. There's no way in hell I'll slack off now." Bakugou grimaced. "But, you should know that I failed my shitty provisional license exam."
"Let me guess, you failed the search-and-rescue portion." Jeanist sighed, letting go of them both so he could rub his temples wearily. "Bakugou, a little bit of a temper is endearing, but an overwhelming amount is abusive. You cannot let your internal pain block you from achieving what you're working hard for. Learn how to channel your anger into something productive, instead of fueling your self-hatred. Or worse, your pride."
Bakugou nodded, eyes downcast. "I -"
" - but , you are going to be fine. It's okay to fail, especially at something as competitive as the Hero Licensing Exam. You aren't any less of a hero for having to take remedial classes, and no one will think poorly of it unless you give them a reason to. So promise me you'll control your temper, okay?"
Bakugou mulled over the words for a while, before shrugging. "Fuck it, I promise I'll try. But you better fuckin' cheer me on old man, or I won't bring you anything good next time I visit."
Hakamata laughed, "Oh, trust me, I'll keep a close eye on you. I've heard that you're quite the problem child. As your mentor, I guess I should take some responsibility for that."
Before Bakugou could shout a retort, a doctor poked his head into the open doorway. He warned everybody that visiting hours were over, and the two students should leave so Best Jeanist could get some rest. With some parting advice from the pro hero, Bakugou and Midoriya headed back to the elevators.
They rode back down to the first floor in mutual silence, mulling over all that had happened. Best Jeanist had given them both a lot to think about, and Midoriya was glad that Bakugou had gotten the chance to reconnect with his mentor. But that didn't change the hollow feeling that had settled back in his stomach. He closed his eyes and suddenly all he could see was All Might, his own mentor, pointing at him. Now, it was his turn. Because of him, All Might's spark had extinguished. He had taken what was left of One for All, and yet he can't even use it properly. Kacchan may have blamed himself for what happened at Kamino, but Midoriya knew that if he had just been better, he had just reached a little farther -
"Oi, shitty Deku. You comin'?"
Oh, the elevator stopped.
"Yeah, sorry," Midoriya murmured, quickly walking to catch up with Bakugou.
'Snap out of it,' Midoriya thought to himself. Kacchan was the one in pain. He was here for Kacchan . It was selfish of him to try and focus on himself when a friend was in need. Goddamnit, he was already being a selfish friend and he only just now gained Kacchan's trust. Why did Kacchan invite him here anyway? It's not like he was much use when it really came down to it. He’s not worth the effort to lug all this way if he couldn’t even make Kacchan feel better.
'I wonder... if All Might had never given me One for All... would any of this have happened?'
Because, when it came down to it, he was nothing like All Might. He would never be as good as All Might. If his mentor were here, Kacchan wouldn't have cried at all. All Might would have said the right thing, and everything would have been better. Hell, even if Kirishima or Kaminari was here, things would have ended better. Yeah, maybe Midoriya was the only one who knew how Kacchan felt, but that didn't change the fact that Midoriya wasn't helpful. In fact, he seemed to only make Kacchan sadder. That seemed pretty counterproductive, in the grand scheme of things.
Midoriya blinked, worried that if he kept this train of thought up he would start crying. 'I would hate to make Kacchan feel bad again, even if it is just because I'm upset'.
However, as they made their way out of the hospital, Midoriya realized that the hollow feeling from before had completely taken over now. He probably couldn't cry if he wanted to. He shook his head quickly, now wasn't the time for this. He needed to stay focused . It didn't matter how Midoriya felt, today was about getting closure for Kacchan. He had to keep his cool.
"Hey, nerd. You're too quiet." Bakugou frowned, stopping. He squinted hard, studying Midoriya. "You okay?"
By now, the sun had set. The moon was rising, but it didn't stop the darkness from feeling a little overwhelming. The streetlamps had switched on, and they bathed everything in a technicolor glow. It made Kacchan look ethereal in the night. Even if he had tear stains on his shirt, he still looked like every inch of him was constructed victoriously. He was a symbol, an icon. He was a survivor, overcoming his pain and coming out stronger for it.
"OI! I'M TRYING TO SPEAK TO YOU!"
"Oh, sorry Kacchan. I must have just zoned out a bit," Midoriya smiled apologetically. He leaned forward and placed a hand on his waist, trying to find a way to look casual. He was sure he looked like an idiot, but that was natural for him at least.
"I wanted... to say thank you for coming. I know I made this whole trip a fucking shit-show, but I'm... I'm glad you were here with me." Bakugou said quietly.
Midoriya shook his head quickly, "No, I should be the one thanking you for allowing me to tag along! I know I just made things worse but - "
"- What the fuck are you talking about?" Bakugou jerked back. That was weird.
"What do you mean?" Midoriya frowned, tugging at his sleeves. "You needed closure, and you got it. I'm happy for you! All I meant was that I understand I should have waited outside or something, you probably didn't need me interrupting your time with your mentor -"
"Do you really think I could have done any of this without you?" Bakugou spat.
"... Of course, Kacchan. Why wouldn't you be able to?" Midoriya blinked slowly. This wasn't making any sense. Somehow, even when he was being realistic, he still made Kacchan angry. In fact, at that last comment Bakugou looked like he had been shot. He slouched forward, face screwed up in pain.
"So that's why you've been quiet," He muttered. "You think this was, what... for shits and giggles? That I... That everything I said back in the parking lot was just me talking out my ass?!"
"Of course not! Why would I ever think that?" Midoriya shouted, "I remember exactly what you said in the parking lot! And if I remember correctly, I told you to stop putting words in my mouth asshole. I'm glad you got the chance to get closure from Best Jeanist! All I'm saying is -"
"I really don't think you understand what I'm saying Izuku because you sure as hell aren't making sense right now," Bakugou growled, fists clenched. Seriously, what was Bakugou thinking? He’s so strong, why is he acting like Midoryia was the one that helped him? All he did was talk a little bit right before they went inside.
Midoriya snarled, "Well if you would let me finish I just wanted to say that -"
"- oh, well why should I listen to shitty Deku? You apparently don't care about what I - "
"- I JUST THINK THAT I WASN'T WORTH IT! OKAY?" Midoriya shouted, eyes tearing up.
Fuck Bakugou. Fuck everything. He... He wasn't worth the argument, couldn't Bakugou see that? It didn't matter what Midoriya had said , because it wouldn't change how he felt . Suddenly, Midoriya was tired. He just wanted to leave. He wanted to get back to the dorm so he could lock himself in his room and deal with whatever shit was carving out his insides. Because if he stayed out here any longer, he was going to cave in on himself.
Bakugou straightened suddenly. "What is this really about, Izuku?"
"What do you mean?" Midoriya spat, rubbing angrily at his tear-stained cheeks. "It's... I.... fuck. I don't know, Kacchan. I just... I don't know anymore."
Bakugou frowned. He opened his mouth, but closed it again. Silence stretched between them, and Midoriya wanted to melt into the ground and forget all of this ever happened.
Suddenly, Bakugou opened his arms. "Give me a hug, or whatever. I've spent my whole fuckin' life forcing you into shit, so I'm not gonna do that now. This is completely your choice, but I don't know what else to fuckin' do. Ordinarily I would never let anyboy fuckin' touch me but you're worth the trouble -" Before he could finished, Midoriya was in his arms.
That's what this was about, when it really came down to it. Midoriya just wanted someone to tell him he was worth it.
He buried himself into Kacchan's chest, for the second time that day he realized, and just... cried. He cried because he was unsure if he could handle the responsibility of One for All. He cried because he had to watch his hero fall from grace. He cried because sometimes when he woke up in the morning he couldn't move his arms. He cried because Bakugou must have been having those panic attacks, reliving his worst memories, and he didn't even notice. He cried because his classmates had been through so much shit, and they hadn't even had their first prom yet. He cried because at the end of the day, he didn't feel like he was worth all of the gifts that he was given. He cried because deep down he knew that even if he was worth it, he still would still have this crippling self doubt.
Above all, he cried because it felt so good to let it out. The hollow feeling in his chest bursted, and suddenly he was feeling everything at once. And Bakugou, bless him, let it all happen without flinching. His hands even tightened around Midoriya, pulling him in further until there was no doubt in his mind that Bakugou wanted him to be there.
"I don't know what you're mumbling about, but I think I have enough information to understand what's going on," Bakugou said hoarsely, "I'm guessing this is about One for All, isn't it."
Midoriya hiccuped weakly and nodded. He hadn't even noticed that he had been speaking out loud.
"So, tell me what's going on."
"It's a lot. You probably don't want to hear about it..." Midoriya trailed off. He felt Bakugou squeeze him reassuringly, humming softly. Even though he sneered, Midoriya didn't feel like his rival was angry at him.
"Now who's putting words in whose mouth. I may assume you think the worst of me, but you do the same Izuku."
"...ijusthinki'mnotworthoneforall." Midoriya sputtered out quickly.
"Fuckin hell, can you tell me what's going on in a way that I can understand?" Bakugou chuckled. "My shitty brain doesn't work as fast as yours."
Midoriya opened his mouth to protest, because he knew full well that Bakugou's brain was capable of working plenty fast, but he let it slide. Instead he took in a deep breath, and prepared to explain his thoughts.
"Best Jeanist mentioned that we had to take over the role as Number One. A-And All Might said the same thing, back in Kamino. I just... Sometimes I wonder if I was really worth inheriting One for All. Am I really going to make a good hero? I may have rescued Kota, but at the end of the day I couldn't even save you, Kacchan. And I can't help but think none of this would have happened if someone else had rec -"
"I see now. At the end of the day my fuckin' problem is that I view one failure like it's a million of 'em, but you act like one success is your last." Bakugou interrupted. "And that's fucking stupid. Do you really think All Might picked you on accident or something? No one works as hard as you. No one takes the time to get to know their teammates like you. No one fucking panics in a lobby because they're afraid their fuckin' pants could make someone upset, like you. You're so fucking nice, I honestly think you were born for this Izuku. Like, it makes me angry sometimes. Because at the end of the day, you're a good hero because you believe everyone else can be one, too."
Midoriya was shocked. He didn't know Bakugou felt that way.
"And, it scares me to know that underneath all that good, you were hiding all this shit. Were you seriously going to try and hide it from me? For how long?"
"I didn't want to inconvenience you Kacchan. You, or anyone else," Midoriya pulled away until he could look Bakugou in the eyes. "I get this feeling sometimes. Like someone scooped out all of my feelings. Sometimes it gets so bad that I can't get out of bed in the morning. It makes me think about everything I try to overcome, and I can't control it. But it's okay, because it goes away after awhile. There's no reason to worry."
"... kinda like my panic problem, huh." Bakugou pointed out. "D'you think I should fuckin' lock myself in the room when I can't breathe, just because it stops after awhile?"
"Of course not!" Midoriya shouted, shaking Bakugou slightly. "That would be stupid! You should come to me, because even if it does go away you shouldn't have to suffer in the process.... Oh, you sneaky bitch ."
Bakugou grinned maniacally. "See? It's fucking stupid. So, next time this happens you better fucking come to me first or I'll punch you so hard your brain will make a rattling sound when you walk."
Midoriya snorted, "Okay, but the same goes for you. I don't want you to feel like you're any less of my rival because you get panic attacks sometimes. You're the strongest person I know, and I want you to feel like you can trust me. Like you can come to me, when you're hurting."
" Yeesh , I forgot how boring you could be when you're complimenting me. Maybe you should go back to calling me a bitch," Bakugou grinned, but he sighed loudly at Midoriya's stern look.
"Of course I'd go to you shitty Deku. I can't do this without you."
Midoriya beamed. "Good. Now, can we please go back home now? I have felt so many conflicting emotions at once, and I think I may pass out."
Bakugou raised an eyebrow, "I have no clue what you're talking about. This day has been nothing but sunshine and rainbows for me."
They both laughed, and started walking back to the dorms again. Once they made it safely home, they both stopped at the doors. It was almost strange to be back, after so much had happened. Midoriya felt positively drained, but he was glad this happened. It needed to happen. He smiled as he watched Bakugou shuck off his vest and shoes. Surprisingly, he liked spending time with Kacchan - despite all of the emotions that had spilled over towards the end, this little excursion into town was a nice way to bond. But that didn't mean it had to end now.
"Hey Kacchan, if you wanna keep hanging out, we could always go train together. Or maybe we could, y'know, accidentally break into the teacher’s lounge, where we happen to set up several large mirrors. Just to, oh I don’t know, perhaps put to rest a burning question that has been in the back of my mind since our excursion out?" Midoriya asked coyly, purposefully leaving his shoes on. Bakugou looked up at him and scowled.
"Deku. He can’t cancel his own quirk.”
" But what if he can? "
Bakugou mulled it over, grinding his teeth in annoyance. Finally, the explosive blonde groaned loudly, grabbing Midoryia’s hand and yanking him back towards the direction of the school. And with that, Midoriya felt like he was finally one step closer to understanding what he was to Kacchan, at least for now. Not just his rival, not just his friend, but his partner.
Partner in crime, according to Aizawa-sensei as they once again found themselves sat in his office, but his partner nonetheless.