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“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said as he laid on the ground, the hot sand pressing against his neck. “I know you’re in a lot of pain.” He continued, inwardly grimacing.
‘Of course, he’s in a lot of pain. His mother just died in his arms.’ Obi-Wan thought dryly. Above him, Anakin stood, the light from the twin suns catching in his curls and forming a halo around his head. But his eyes, they weren’t the brilliant blue that Obi-Wan had known. No, they looked as if Obi-Wan was looking into a fire from hell, and the fire from hell stared back and blamed him for its problems.
But couldn’t even be mad, because the heat from the fire was so warm when it didn’t burn him.
“Another hollow apology, master?” Anakin seethed. “What would you know of my mother? You don’t even know who your own mother is!” Obi-Wan sighed.
“You’re right. I don’t know.” Obi-Wan began, trying to reason with Anakin, who held the hilt of his blade in his palm, and Obi-Wan’s was somewhere in the sand. He had to reason with him. He could tell that Anakin was taken aback by that response, he lowered his arm and blinked, but his eyes still burned more intensely than the suns of Tatooine.
“But Anakin, I do know that your mother wouldn’t want to see you like this.” Obi-Wan pleaded.
“I don’t want to see you like this.” He added on softly.
“And why would you care?” Anakin snapped back. “If it weren’t for you holding me back, she would be alive! I could have saved her!”
“I know.” Obi-Wan said, trying to hold back his tears. But even though he was successful, he still couldn’t help but think of how he failed Anakin. How he promised that he would do right by Anakin, and instead he lay here, on the sand that was now cold. And he stared up, looking at the eyes he hated but the face he loved. And Obi-Wan would give anything to make things better. Different. Even trade places with his mother, whose body was now buried only a few meters away.
“I know.” Obi-Wan repeated, softer this time. The desert wind almost took his voice away, but from the way Anakin looked at him, he knew that he heard.
“What?” Anakin whispered, leaning back. His eyes matched the gold and red of the planet’s sky. Behind him, the suns were setting, and the halo around his head turned red, the light catching in his curls.
“You are right. I should have listened to you. I should have let you go.” Obi-Wan told him.
“But you’re a jedi. And the rule about attachments- “Anakin began.
“Jedi value life as a rule. And I should have let you go- you were trying to save someone’s life.” Obi-Wan replied.
“But…” Anakin began taking a step back. Obi-Wan watched as he sank down onto his knees, gripping the sand beneath them both. The tears that fell. He watched as the sun set behind the horizon, and the red halo was gone. Anakin looked back up and his eyes were blue, like the night sky above.
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan whispered, sitting up slowly, and reaching his hand out. He didn’t take it, and Obi-Wan let his hand drop back down to his side.
“There is love in holding on. And there is love in letting go.”
“Don’t say that.” Anakin replied, his shoulders shaking. “You can’t.” He finished, his voice breaking.
“Search your feelings.” Obi-Wan said, reaching his hand out again. Anakin shook his head and looked up at him. Obi-Wan reached forward, brushing a tear off his face. His hand slid down, until it met Anakin’s and held it. It was warm in comparison to the cold of the night.
“I can’t.” Anakin whispered. “I can’t let go Obi-Wan; she was my mother. She was all I had.” Those words stung more than Obi-Wan cared to admit, but he knew that he had to tell Anakin how much he meant to him. That other people loved him, for who he was, not who he was trying to be.
“Anakin, if the time was right, I would let you go.” Obi-Wan said. Anakin opened his mouth to respond, but Obi-Wan beat him to it.
“And I love you. But I know that at some point, I will have to let you go.” Obi-Wan finished, his voice hollow. He knew it was true- but his attachment to Anakin was his blind spot. He would do anything, go anywhere, to make sure he was safe. The thought of having to let him go made him sick, but he knew that nothing lasts forever.
“How, how can you say that so calmly?” Anakin wondered, gripping Obi-Wan’s hand tighter. “How can you just sit here and tell me- “
“Because I have accepted that there will be times, where letting you go will be the right thing to do. Even if it pains me to do so.” He felt Anakin’s hand tremble, and a cold wind blew past them, picking up the sand, and it stung as it hit Obi-Wan’s face, but he hardly felt it. His other hand came up and cupped Anakin’s cheek. The light from the moon caught in Anakin’s curls, and now the halo was a soft silver. His tears caught in the moonlight, and it looked like as if they were rare gemstones, reflecting the light that was cast upon them. Obi-Wan watched as Anakin slowly brought his other hand up and reached out to Obi-Wan.
“You said you loved me?” He whispered incredulously.
“I do.” Obi-Wan replied. “I do.”
“But what about the code- the order? What about- “
“Forget the order.” Obi-Wan responded. “This is about us. And only us.”
“But- “Anakin tried to continue, but Obi-Wan placed a finger on his lips.
“Anakin, if you asked me to, I would leave the jedi order for you. I would follow you until the edge of the galaxy. I swear to you. To every star that we could see. Every supernova remnant.”
“I would follow you until the end of time, if you let me.” And for the first time in a long time- longer than Obi-Wan could remember, Anakin laughed.
“I want you to stay.” He said, pressing his forehead against Obi-Wan’s. “With me.”
“I will.” Obi-Wan whispered back.
“Until the end of time.”
“I will.”