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Class 1.A was minding its own business, waiting for fore the ever grumpy homeroom teacher Aizawa to show up. After the Quirk Apprehension Test, the day before all were rather nervous, that he might try to expel them again. But their morbid thought of their futures were interrupted by the blaring intercom.
"AHAHA! I AM HERE, AS A VOICE!"
The class exploded in cheer, All Might, the greatest hero in the history of ever was really teaching at U.A academy, they will be taught heroic by their idol!
"SINCE PRINCIPAL NEDZU DECIDED HE REQUIRED SOME MUCH DESERVED VACATION, HE DECIDED TO APPOINT ONE OF THE TEACHERS A SAN ACTING PRINCIPAL, VIA DRAWING STRAWS. AND THIS LUCKY CHAP DREW THE SHORTEST."
Wait. What?
"AS SUCH, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, EACH AND EVERY STUDENT IS NOW REQUIRED TO SPORT KILLER ABS, ON WHICH YOU CAN GRATE CHEESE ON."
Kirishima's shirt was off in seconds, as he started flexing and showboating on his table. Until Mina slapped some sense into him. She also 'accidentally' melted his shirt.
"NOW TO HELP YOU IN THIS ENDEAVOR, I PERSONALLY INSPECTED ALL THE THIRD YEARS OVER THE AGE OF 18 AND HANDPICKED THOSE WITH THE BEST ABS TO TAKE ON A CLASS EACH. THEY'LL BE ARRIVING AT YOUR CLASS IN FIVE MINUTES. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING, AND MY YOUR ABS SHINE!"
The class was in a state of shock. While most of them were in decent enough shape, the goal the acting principal set up for them seemed just unreachable. Before they could fall to dark thoughts of expulsion and sore abdomens, their door smashed open, and in walked a massive, 6'5 tall god among men, without a shirt, with a wrench on his shoulder, and wearing a golden belt with the inscription "GRINDER KING" beneath a smiling All Might. He also had green hair and freckles.
"Hi there, little freshies. My name is Izuku Midoriya, and I've slept with every female student within these walls."
"WHAT?!" the whole class shouted, especially Mineta.
"Just kidding. My harem of pro Heroines would never allow me."
"WHAT?!" this time Mineta's voice outrang them all.
"Kidding again. Midnight sensei would neuter me if I ever had sex with her out of the room."
Now, Mineta might not have been the sharpest crayon in the tool shed, but even he could see when someone spewed that much bullshit out of their pie hole.
"Ah, I see you've caught onto me. Well then, as you can see by the golden belt, I've been declared by All Might to have the best abs, so it is my job, NAY, my DUTY to make sure each and every one of you small fires turns into a cheese grinder. Now, meet me on the field, boys will go shirtless, while women get U.A-issued sports bras. If any ladies want to go shirtless, I'm available from 3 pm to 8 pm every workday."
Immediately all the females raised their hands. Except for Tsuyu. Izuku sighed. He should have seen that coming.
"For those uncomfortable with just sports bras, we also have crop top jackets."
Ladies cheered. Mineta cried. And Izuku… He wisely kept his tears on the inside.
Once the lass gathered on the field, with all the females choosing to wear the optional crop top jackets, and even the boy with a tail wore one, Izuku presented them with a pair of balls.
"This here in my hand are balls of mozzarella. An incredibly soft cheese. I will use them to determine where of the grinder ladder your abs are. Now, I'm gonna rub this on your belly. This is all the warning you're gonna get, so suck it up, short stacks."
In the end, only three people had passed, and all of the class smelled like cheese. It was an awful day all around, except for Tsu, who was secretly taking pictures of every shirtless boy she could find. She later sold them to her female classmates. Except Izuku's. Those she kept for herself.
ONE WEEK LATER
The suffering was high but the benefits were higher. Everyone has passed the mozzarella test and were moving on to goat cheese. Except for Momo, but that might have been because she actually enjoyed a tall muscly man rubbing things on her belly. The class knew better than to judge.
Also, for some reason, Todoroki started wearing a crop top and was seen hanging out with Mirio, a guy who kept loosing his pants every time he used his quirk. Speaking of quirks, Izuku didn't have one. He wasn't even in the Hero course. When Bakugo learned of this, he challenged him to a fight.
Izuku won. By giving him a mother of all nugies, grinding his palms on his abs until they were raw, and then stuffed his mouth with a pair of socks. All and all, that was the most entertaining Thursday. They also moved from goat cheese to cheddar. That was a nasty smell to get rid of.
They were also privy to Izuku being chased by another third-year, for daring to try to grind Canadian bacon on her abs. Aizawa told them whimsical insanity was required to pass the second year finals.
ONE YEAR LATER
Tomura was on the verge of world domination! Well, maybe not that, he barely controlled a city. But heroes all gathered here, and he was gonna defeat them all! Until he was approached by a redhead.
"Hey. I heard you destroyed this hospital! Not manly, bro. People need those."
He needed all but to touch him. But as he drew nearer and nearer to this gingerly fool, he noticed something. That dude had killer abs. And they were right in the was of his extended arm.
Tomura woke up a week later, where he learned from that crimson haired model of manliness, that he ground two of his fingers away on his abs. Then the dude -Kirishima- offered him to show him the way. Tomura refused. But then changed his mind. Anyone could use a good gym buddy. And maybe with those abs, Dabi will finally like him. Wait. What?